I can go home or back to work
Which I really don't want to do, because I've got
Eurofurence coming after this!
And yes,
I will be at EF,
I don't know why but I will be.
It zero'ed me in!
It's like the
face-seeking camera!
It's got me!
And yes, I'm here at EF!
I flew in from America,
and damn, my legs are tired!
Oh gawd!
hi BB!
Maybe you need to do your light
somewhere else, I can't see your face!
I can't noseboop your camera!
Good to see you
at Eurofurence 36!
It's the 36th anniversary today!
Don't mind this fox,
he's just been washed, but he's the cleanest
you'll ever see him, so...
HD footage of that and...
at the end of the con you can do a before and after
Wait, foxes are always dirty
so he'll look the same after.
Just stop filming, BB!
Just stop!
Please give me a chance to
check into my room
because when the boat lands
I have to get another jacket.
It would be great if you'd stop filming
because the fat old lady
has to get out of this.
No! NO!
See the shit I got...?
You gotta deal with that, it's just how it goes!
Get off my nose!
This is who he is!
Remind me why I'm here again?
I don't know.
Get... no!
Eat the bad Pretzel!
I'll bite you!
Welcome to the summerboat...
cue, basically!
You have to wait for one hour
and... I don't know!
It just takes too long!
Look at this handsome guy!
Most handsome guy ever!
You're making my face red!
Oh, stop it!
So, why the long face?
OMG!
Honestly, just fuck yourself!
Now you see what I have to deal with every single time!
He's too drunk!
Come to Scotiacon!
It's the best con in Scotland!
Something got out and then it started
biting everybody, there was lots of
blood and somebody lost
an arm...
It wasn't my arm so...
I don't know about it.
Dispatch doesn't know about it.
It was a minor incident! It's okay!
It was informal...
Have you buried everything?
Yes!
I'm another cameraman
with an invisible camera.
I'm really good at pointing it at people!
I eat this!
Are we supposed to perform?
I'm not some sort of monkey that
will perform for you!
Oh no, I'm not!
It's way too early in the panto for that bollocks!
He's behind you!
It's a were-corgi!
Look into my eyes!
Look deep into my eyes!
You're sleepy....
Sleepy...
Welcome to EF!
Fantastic!
Uh eh Uh ah ah !
Usually you can...
especially on these nice little cameras,
you can just turn off the red light so people
think you don't film
and in reality you do.
It's like these Japanese phones
that don't make that click
true, that not make actually...
the cameraman that takes a picture....
is like....
Stealth recording!
[people singing Tetris melody]
Da Real Tani has arrived!
Is good, is good!
Welcome to Germany!
Welcome to Eurofurence!
We just want to say a word of thanks.
Everybody who has come to
EF, welcome!
Welcome to EF!
On behalf of me and
Randon!
It just happened!
Don't trust this person.
Totally don't trust...
Yeah, says someone with an open pant.
It's a k...
Easy Access!
It's a kilt, seriously!
Hi! Good to see you again!
It's a horse of a story, I can tell you that!
*siren at half pace*
And I know exactly how to make that
siren go off!
*siren at full pace*
She has that one button!
Hello?
Hello??
HELLO?
Is anybody out there?
Hello!
What an exciting week this was!
We had so much fun together!
And I'm super
glad all of your came here
and I'd also like to thank you
for the awesome time we had at EF 25!
We're still counting the money
for the charity so I can't
announce that right now
and I'd also
give a special thanks to our very
nice guest of honor,
Alector Fencer,
for...
doing all the nice stuff she did
and making herself available
and....
since you're all probably waiting
for the Pawpet Show to begin,
I'll make this really short: I'll see
you all next year at
EF 26, at
"Rifts in Time",
Have a wonderful
night and a good way home.
Byebye!
What happened?
Where are we?
And when are we?
As it seems, we're lost in time!
That's been the Closing Ceremonies of
EF 25!
It should be the Opening Ceremony.
'This is all wrong!
Okay, don't panic.
Let's try to reboot this machine.
I got it!
Somehow, synthetic dust bunnies
made it into the time core.
If I just hit the emergency cleaning
protocol, it should be
fine.
Ladies and Gentlemen,
welcome to Anthrocon, currently the
largest furry convention in the world!
I'm very pleased to announce
this is going to be our last year in
Philadelphia. We are planning to move
to Pittsburgh next year, this is
something very new for us
so we're gonna ask you all to bare with us
Because..... like I....
No!
This isn't right! Again!
Okay.
We have to fix this situation before
the fracture in time and space becomes
an even bigger problem than it is
right now.
The scan revealed a much bigger
problem. Those weren't
just ordinary dust bunnies,
those are slurries!
Contaminated and disgusting
little greyballs. They infiltrated
the time core.
Companions, I need your help.
Yes. As I can see in the
engineering's department report,
you have received your handbook already.
Do you remember?
Those guys with orange stripes on the
uniform, they keep all of
us together. Read the handbook.
It's important to stay safe.
Even if we're able to fix all of this,
we have to look for other anomalies
during the next 4 days.
This is our target:
The security department took a picture.
Finally.
To get rid of them, you have to follow
protocol 621:
Please, listen closely:
Take 6 hours of sleep a day
and you will stay observant.
It will be easier to spot them.
Eat two meals a day, otherwise
a slurry is able to feel your weakness
and will infect you. And you
don't want to experience our
quarantine protocol. Instead
take one shower a day and stay
clean. Slurries won't be
able to stick to your body after this
Procedure.
Engineers, initiate
the time core stereo station.
It's time. Please.
Please don't worry.
We will get through this.
It will be an amazing journey.
Remember always: you're all
stories in the end. Just make
it a good one. Okay?
THIS TIII......
This time for real!
Welcome to EF 25!
and
I'm standing here, everybody's staring at me again...
This is how I looked before
I became a con chairman,
and this is how I look today!
I brought a little bit of nostalgia for you guys.
Tes, who is one of the very few
remaining attendes of EF 1
who is still attending today,
brought me one of the original
signposts that we used to
make people find EF in the
year 1995.
And if any of you
recognizes what kind of
font this is then
you've proven yourself really old.
It's actually the alien language from Albedo,
the groundbreaking comic by Steve Gallachi.
We've also have this
sheet with the prints
of the badges of our very first meeting
You can see down here,
my name is still different back then.
I will put this here so the camera
can pick it up.
And we've also
found this little gem, this is
the actual copy of
the map we posted on our webpage
back in 1994.
This took about
100 years to download.
So that's very nice and
this should go in a museum if we had one.
Okay, now
Everybody else who's supposed to be on
stage please come on.
Cause I'm going to pass the microphone
around so everybody will be able
to introduce themselves. Have a seat.
Stats:
Registered and
accepted are
as of now:
3532 people.
and already here
we met 3000.
Fursuiters:
1541!
735 artists,
190 animators,
and 178 musicians.
I don't have much to say about the hotel,
the food trucks are back because it was
a huge success last year, I hope you liked them,
starting off tonight!
If you haev any questions regarding the hotel
just feel free to approach the staff
or me, we'll try to solve your problem.
Thanks so much for being here and have a wonderful con!
Also for real, I'd like to introduce
and wholeheartedly welcome our
beautiful guest of honor,
Alector Fencer!
Maybe you'd like to tell people who you are:
What I do....
I draw pictures.
I draw things I imagine,
I draw dreams I dream of at night,
YOU DREW THE FUCKING BADGE!
I drew the fucking badges....
We have a new offering this year:
The wonderful Alpha Ki has been
hard at work creating this new
Playfox! And:
you can even flip it over
suddenly it's Playvixen!
There are a lot of interesting....
articles....
in it!
Yes!
Especially,
look at the centerpiece
it is gorgeous!
C'mon!
Don't drool too hard!
Okay, now we totally know
why I'm not aspiring a career
as a voice artist.
Anyway, we have a great artshow.
We have 3 of the most amazing panels
filled with wonderful black and white
photocopies of all of the
7 American artists there are,
in valueable clear plastic binders
Wait...
Okay, that was EF 3....
Who came up with that topic anyway?
Just in time, damnit.
OK, we have actually 153 artists
with over 1200 exhibits,
on more than 147 panels.
That's a little bit better.
And with that,
that really leaves me with only one thing:
I hereby declare EF 25 open!
Have fun!
Let's have a good time!
You know what I miss on these cameras?
They don't have a fucking shutter.
OMNOMNOMNOMNOM
I'm assuming you have that food from
It's Stroopwafels!
Show it!
Welcome to: "Drinking Beer with Kami"!
This bitch: empty!
British: Buy me a new one.
nnnnnnnyesssss!
Thank you, British!
Hi Security!
How are things going?
Security reminds the cameraguy to
steo outside of the circle of the fire please.
I can't see the circle.
But you can film it!
No, I'm filming you!
OMG!
2002 I got an email
from this guy
who had what I believe to be the
greatest name in Furry Fandom:
I immediately wanted to meet this man.
When I get an email from somebody named
"Sven Tegethoff (Take-It-Off)"
He and I have got to be friends.
He said "Why don't you come to EF?"
and I said:
"Oh, you mean the one that's
in a different European nation
every single year and bobs
around Europe?"
and he said: "Something like that."
So I said: "Sure."
They had a nice website.
You see, I'm the chairman
of a very large convention.
It was a big convention back then.
And every con has a theme.
And you try to do something that's kind of
in line with the theme.
And as I was on the plane to Germany
I thought, this is gonna be fun.
Since this is such a
cute, tiny little con,
I wonder if they're gonna do anything in line with the theme.
And their theme that year was nice:
The FIA.
The Furry Intelligence Agency.
I said, "That's adorable!"
Somebody make a noise out there if you
remember the FIA.
Thank you, 12 people.
As I said, it was small back then.
Here's the trick:
They're still around!
You just don't know it.
Yes, the FIA, a
secret branch of the
German gouvernment that
was designed to monitor
the activities of these strange
animal people out there.
And they were bringing in
a noted American scientist, an
expert on these creatures.
I arrived at the airport.
Coming from the USA very shortly after an
unfortunate period of my country's history,
I was wondering what Security was going to be like.
And when I got
to passport control,
there was a German gentleman there
who had no eyelids.
or at least,
he might have had eyelids,
but he could see through them.
Because he was sitting there like this:
I walked towards him and he said:
Jaja....
I got my passport out, he said,
Jaja, go....
He had a night, didn't he?
I always travel in business attire
when I fly. Makes people think I'm important.
I stepped out of the
passp... hi!
I'm being herded!
I stepped out of passport control
and the automatic Startrek doors slide open
There were three
imposing looking men in black
suits, with black sunglasses
and black fedoras and curly radio things here
and very official looking government IDs
and I thought...
That's nice!
I started to go around them
and one of them stepped in my way and said:
"Doctor Conway?"
I said: "Yes!"
I really hope you're with the con.
He said "Kom weez us pleeze!"
And they picked up my bags
one in front, one to the left,
one to the right.
They marched me out of the Frankfurt Flughafen.
Out of the airport,
there was a vintage silver
Mercedes Benz Limousine out there
with a red carpet leading up to it,
two more of these black clad individuals
with sunglasses looking around suspiciously like this.
and a black SUV
front and back with
the FIA logo on the doors.
And that limousine had flags mounted
on the fenders: the German flag on
right, the FIA flag on the left.
And I walked up
and I was greeted by a guy with a big
dog who's like "Grrr, grr, I'm watching you".
I looked in the back seat,
there was a box of Cuban cigars.
We can't get those.
On the back seat.
They opened the door and I got in,
and in perfect
synchronisation
these two black SUVs
adn the limousine pulled out
and around the ramp and onto the Autobahn.
The flags were flapping like this
and the SUVs were very close front and back
It must have made quite a spectacle.
Because I'm sitting in the back towards the driver's side
and I would see
people would pull up
and I would see from the corner of my eye
they were kinda pacing looking,
and I'd just do this.
And they'd back up.
We got off of the Autobahn
immediately onto a road made of
dirt. It was this wide
and I suspect they wanted
two vehicles to be able to pass.
We started driving into the fields
and into the forests
far from civilisation
and I said
I REALLY hope these guys are with the convention.
In the middle of nowhere,
on an unseen,
unheard cue,
we stopped.
And the doors opened on the SUVs
and people got out. And the passengers
on the front seat got out.
I reached for the door handle and the driver said
NEIN!!
You're with the convention, right?
They opened the back of the SUVs and
got out German Police lightbars,
put them on the roofs of the
SUVs and activated the sirens.
and brought me into the con site which
was a little Youth Hostel located
in Siberia.
Pulled me up where there was another
red carpet waiting.
And I got out.
and a Gentleman came up, snapped to attention, And I got out.
and a Gentleman came up, snapped to attention,
I returned the salute,
he took me inside this red
carpet to meet the
immortal, the amazing,
Sven Tegethoff, Cheetah to you and I.
And they walked up and I said
"Dude! You win! I can't top this!"
Cheetah and I have been the best of friends ever since.