Hello!
They have cider!
They've learned!
Cider on tap!
And there's £50 vouchers!
We hope that it might be
enough for a night.
Nomnom!
Oh!
I see myself!
It's right there! OMG!
This is so crazy!
[muffled] Arrarrarr!
Aah!
There. Clean now.
It's always the cats that clean everything.
Noone else bothers cleaning themselves
or anything.
*pew pew pew*
Right in the face!
Aaaahhh!
Hello Big Bright Fox,
nice to meet you as always! *coughs*
Cheers!
This is a very rare occasion
where all three filmmakers
are in the same spot!
Music and videos can be combined
very nicely into a single....
Aaah!
No! Nobody wants to see this.
Everyone wants to...
Nobody wants to see this.
Everybody wants to see him.
Everybody.
Everybody wants to see their own reflection.
I do wear trousers!
I did.
What the fff**********ck!!!
OMG that was a 1kHz beep!
Awesome!!
Uh, hello!
Perks of being famous!
Popufur.
Really bright...
Are you going to say... [laughter] ... or what?
It hurts my eyes.
Get closer.
Get closer!!
Film the head and his nostril.
Is there a BBF around? I smell cameras.
Ah, there he is, hello BBF,
hello Germany, how is everybody out there?
I've been here exactly two hours
and I've already gotten a present.
They're even packed for travelling
if I don't get to them. Thank you!
How, ever, did you know?
Is that actually coffee?
Yyyy....yes, of course, what else would it be?
Don't judge me!
No drink-shaming!
Leave the old guy alone.
Hey, who are you calling an old guy!
You!
You're older than me.
Okay, hang on....
Somebody told me what to say in a situation like this.
And you don't remember.
I got it written down...
uhhh....
U wot m8?!
U havin' a giggle?
What?
Did that work?
No....
I've been practicing my English.
*tchk-tchk*
*pewww*
*tchk-tchk*
*pewww*
*tchk-tchk*
Ratatatatatatatatata.......
Remember MFF 2 years ago?
You know how I said I had a holiday?
Again, this was supposed to be a holiday con.
Oh. no!
No.
Nonono, oh, hang on!
Look at this.
I made a fursuit badge,
or I asked for one,
And forgot to put the picture in.
So they did that.
It looks like you're running a furcon.
You're trying to do something nice,
and they shoot you down.
Not as if...
I would be treated with any more respect
especially with a camera in my face,
especially a big blue camera in my face,
What do you expect me to do with this?
Do you expect me to eat it?
Well, I have your.. I.. ehhh
nomnomnom!
I can't quite do it.
I don't fit big things in
my... I take that back, I do
... eh, I think I dont...
it's....
Set everything on fire!
That ??? everything I've eaten afterwards!
Raahr! Rar!
Ni hao!
You need a vape-holder for your camera.
*laughs*
This big blue camera over here...
because... this...
because he keeps on putting
video all over websites and Vimeos and Youtubes
and all that nonsense,
and all I can do us yell into this
It's certainly because I'm apparently
interesting for just yelling at him.
Except I have nothing to drink which makes it even
worse so I'm going to
eat this in compensation for
my soberness.
There. That's all eating you get for now.
Once I've got something else in me
some drinks inside
me I will shove
things... I shall shove alcohol
in my mouth. Yes. Lots
of alcohol inside the mouth so
I become all, uhm,
dignified and
less grumpy and
Bring on the Sake!
You're putting me on the spot!
I'm trying to be civil here
I couldn't resist!
I saw that down there and thought "Get out of the way!"
I think this camera feels left out,
I can't leave it left out...
Hey, it's BBF!
Hey there!
[two people talking simultaneously]
Yep, it's me!
It really is him!
This is the booping camera?
It looks like it!
Oh, oh!
Oh boop me!
I'm a bit afraid of booping
cause my nose is kinda hard
and I don't want to break things.
When you finally see the cameras!
Whatever footage you have of that, can you
please put...
I don't know the name of the song, but it goes:
"Open up the door and turn the lights down low"
Just of Cue's face!
He's gonna Shazam that now!
That would be hilarious!
This is not Dolly Parton!
Not tonight.
Oh no, this is definitely going wrong.
Margaret Thather naked on a cold day!
It starts well and then it just escalates.
I hope you've been tested for SSD's!
I've been tested for SSD's!
Let it be known that BBF
has a shitload
of SSD's!
Sponsor plugging:
Come to our con.
Noone died last year.
Did they?
No, they did not.
Yes. Noone died.
Noone died that we know about.
I have wine
and it's got a kinky name
it's the best thing ever!
OMG I love this con!
[Announcer] And now,
time for our feature presentation.
Sign, please.
Right, okay.
Hello everyone and thanks for joining
the call today, it's now about
two weeks to the con so we've got
lots of work done so far, but we still
got a fair bit to crack through and
I'd like to ask Rizzo to
update everyone on some exciting
developements on the venue this year.
[squeaking rat noises]
Oh, sorry, Matt!
The first exciting thing to tell you is
this is the third year we've been at the
Hilton, it's the longest
serving venue we've ever had.
This year they're introducing a self service bar.
It's really easy.
The attendees will just pick
up a card and top it up
with cash, take it to the pump station
tap it on the screen and
pour themselves a pint.
Couldn't be any easier.
Next up I've got
an update from
Taylen about the
artshow:
Things to know about the art show this year
is that it's only on allday on
Saturday. On Sunday
it's only for an hour and then begins that big
closing session where they take the final bids.
Those of you who take part
in the bidding,
best go on Saturday
go and bid nice and early.
Next up it's
Slycat with info on the
fursuit changes this year, and he's
over in cat central.
[fan noises and cat meows]
Final piece on the agenda
for today is the
guests of honor. Washu's got some
wonderful updates, I'll hand over to him.
Thanks Matt,
First guest of honor is Alkora,
he's coming from the US,
He's an artist and fursuit builder
This is going to be his first time in the UK
And he sends this lovely video to explain more about himself.
No, that's not
a carrot, okay, it's a mike.
I don't know what carrots you're eating that they're
black, but that's not what a carrot
looks like.
This is not for eating?
Now our second guest of honor is Whiteyfawks
also hailing from the US,
he's a fursuit builder
and one half of Arend Studios.
He's also been kind enough to send along
a video.
[music plays]
Hello, my name is Whiteyfawks,
actually, I'm Whiteyfawks and this is Chance
and I'm a fursuit builder or
costume artist. Basically,
I get to turn people like you and me
into animals every day.
We're coming to the end of this evening.
Last request: If you have any suggestions
for the opening ceremony
get in touch with me or Rizzo soon as possible
we got loads of ideas this year.
Other than that, we'll wrap up!
Thanks everyone, have a great day
look forward to seeing you at the con!
*sighs*
Over three days
a lioness can copulate
300 times.
When one male has had enough
she allows the others to take over.
[samba music plays]
I declare Confuzzled 2016 open!
Welcome! The party started!
Come with me, come on!
Stoppen sie Stopping you
stehen Sie mit Kamera da! standing you with camera there!
Ja! Bitte! Yes! Please!
Ich habe eine Erleuchtung! I have an enlightenment.
And I know he's going to subtitle this again.
[and translate it too, the ed.]
Haha!
Zee war of zee cameras!
[laughs]
Camception!
Choose your weapon, Sir,
I chose mine.
Oh my god, I don't have that!
*howls and whines*
Aaah, my nose!
Fox! Hi!
Here, have a corgi butt!
Look at the corgi!
Welcome to Confuzzled!
I'm corgi!
At least you don't have the light on this time.
It's really bright!
The "Making of Bitter Lake",
there was that little brief scene
I see...
I think you've been drinking too much wine.
He's always drinking wine.
What strange words you use.
Was that English?
I'm sorry, I must use American.
You're too drunk!
I'll use American: "Fuck off!"
Here, how was that?
You're a cunt wanker tosser chap bollocks!
I'll tell you my secret:
I'm not British.
No, he's Dutch!
So, all your insults
do not work on me.
No, he's Belgian.
What?
You're Belgian, right?
I'm not Belgian, how dare you
insult me like that!
You can tell he's Dutch because of his height.
All Dutch people are very tall.
It's an evolutionary adaptation.
Thank you all for coming out.
I'm Dr. Samuel Conway, they call me Uncle Kage
for whatever reason and I basically
get up on stage, get drunk until I fall down
thank you very much.
[applause]
By the way, a lot of people
think I make my stories up.
I don't have to.
Believe me, I don't have to.
We have a saying in my country:
Shit happens.
They mean me.
Shit happens to me.
I am going to state
for the record, and I say this every year
so people understand:
I am the chairman. That doesn't
mean I run the convention.
I've got 250 staffers
and an army of volunteers who know
exactly what they're doing without me getting
in the way, believe it.
I just sign the checks.
I also transport the equipment.
Because a lot of it stays in my house.
My house is in the state of North Carolina.
Anthrocon is in Pennsylvania.
Tp give you an idea
we're looking at roughly the distance
from Bordeaux to Glasgow.
I get to drive that shit.
So 80% of the equipment
stays up in Pennsylvania,
in the city of Pittsburgh. Or, if
it's Eurofurence: Peetzboork.
I still have to take a metric ton
of stuff from my house
across the Allegheny Mountains
going up to Wrst Virginia, the blue ridge,
to Pittsburgh.
And every year I rent a little Cargo van.
Sometimes, that's too little.
Last year...
Around this time last year,
I called up the Penn rental place and said I want
to rent a cargo van.
And the lady said "Absolutely, we'll have it ready for you
on the appointed day".
On the appointed day, I
had a friend give me a lift
and he took me to the truck rental place.
And I walked inside,
and I said "I'm here for my cargo van".
And the lady said "Oh yes, just outside" and I went outside.
[laughter]
Excuse me, Miss, cargo van...
She said "Yes, right outside."
Okay...
I don't mean to appear dim
but I don't see it.
And she said "It's across the parking lot,
in the second stall."
Okay.
[laughter]
That isn't big enough!
I said "I don't think that's..."
She said "That's a cargo van".
I said "No, it's a matchbox.
It's not going to be big enough".
She said "Wel, your alternative
is to rent one of the giant box trucks, that will cost you double".
One thing that everyone in Pittsburgh
knows is that Uncle Kage
does not like to spend money.
So as soon as she said "it will cost you more"...
THAT'S IT! We're finished!
End of conversation.
So I hopped in,
started driving,
I was driving along,
and kept looking back.
at the cargo space.
And as I was driving I reached back
and my fingertips were able to touch
the rear doors.
This ain't gonna work!
So I called the lady on my cell
and said "Okay, you win.
I'll take whatever you have, this ain't gonna work".
I turned around and drove back.
and when I drove in
cloud were starting to roll in
the south of the US is very
well known for its
very violent thunderstorms.
A storm was coming in,
the cloud were dark
and foreboding, awful shade,
hanging painted by a slender thread,
but there was a tiny
hole in the
clouds,
shining a shaft
of heavenly light down
upon this full-size
giant, monstrous, sexy
Dodge cargo Mastervan!
And I could hear the heavenly choirs!
They were conducted by Händel himself!
I saw this and went "Whoah!
Okay, yeah, yeah,
Hey, hey!
That... that... that...
The one with the light shining on!
Is that meant for anybody?"
And she said "No, it just arrived."
I said "GIMME!!"
She said "I can't."
Okay, I'll bite...
Why?
She said "It's not clean".
[laughter]
Miss....
I will lick the motherfucker clean,
GIMME THE KEYS!!
[applause]
Normally at this point
of such a story I would say
"I didn't actually say that"...
but in this case I can't say that.
*chiep!*
[laughter]
Was that serious?
Did you sit on a tack?
*chiep!*
Two tacks!
Do it again!
[laughter]
That's my creepy face!
Is there something...
*chiep!*
Reminds me of the time I found a baby bird!
Come on, I'm liking this!
You're not helping!
Look out, BBF is after you!
*chiep!*
Did you get that?
Welcome to the highlight video my dear!
Police brutality by foxes!
What's wrong with you?
Not innocent.
Nope.
Oh hell no.