Hi!
We're flying to....
Andro..... something....
Now I have no pillow.
Take yours!
That's no good.
Touch it!
That's why I booked a window seat!
Wait, I'll fix that.
Hiiiii....
Food woke me up!
A small Snickers.
.... if you're not going anywhere for a LITTLE while.
Now I thought you of all people would've known better than
that, sneaking up an old seniors,
especially one, riddled
on whatever this is here,
what is this Anthrocon that I keep
always get stuck at every year.
And then apparently someone is here in a....
I don't know what all this fuss is about
and everything is so loud and distracting.
I am, getting constantly irritated
every direction I turn,
especially this one right here,
and I have a wolfsnout look back at my face
and apparently it has glow in the dark claws...
His videos are awesome, people,
always watch them, and if you're
stupid enough you can get friends of yours
by showing them these videos
you're watching, you can tag
them along and indoctrinate
a couple of fools yourself.
Guten Tag!
Willkommen in Anthrocon
hier in die schöne here in the nice
Stadt Pittsburgh city of Pittsburgh
in Pennsylfornisch Place! in Pennsylfornia place!
USA!
It's very very good to see all our friends there in
Germany, even if you're not in Germany
but the guy with the camera is in Germany so
it sort of follows,
we're having a wonderful time here.
It's only actually just
began so this is Wednesday
the American Independence day, so
so we're going to be firing of lots of ordinances
this evening, Germans,
don't be upset, we do this every year.
It's a flashback story.
The actual insanity is
going to begin tomorrow.
But I'm gonna be upstairs
hiding under the bed. So
we hope you'll have a fine time here,
if you're looking for me, I'll be the one driving home
very fast on Monday.
Oh, hello, Herr Boozitsch... ah...
das ist BBF aus Deutschland This is BBF from Germany
das ist der Boozitsche Badger this is the Boozitsch Badger
aus Pennsylfornische.... uh... from Pennsylfornian... uh
Sprechen Sie deutsch? Do you speak German?
Sprechen Sie some deutsch für die Germans Speak some German for the Germans
He does not speak German,
you have to speak in a German accent to
him or he won't understand you.
HÄÄÄ????
I have a huge [insert vulgar German reference to a mans best part here]
I could choose between
this and a Toyota.
No Toyota.
She says I look good, won't you agree?
No.
No??
Look at that handsome fox!
Yes, it's me, Greifer,
I've returned from the dead and I'm back at
AC 2018.
and I'm glad to be here.
It took a long time but I made it.
How do you like that, huh?
Adds some depth to your character
I needed that!
Why don't you tell BBF what happened to your old self?
Well, my old incarnation has been dipped.
Roger Rabbit Style.
He's gone, it's all about me now.
Why are you filming me without my fursuit on?
Because you're not drunk right now,
this is the only time I get you not drunk.
It's true, I'm not drunk.
Yet.
Right now the cameraman is more drunk than you are.
We have a lot of booze upstairs.
Everyone's like: "You gonna drink all that?"
I said no, just half.
Gotta save the other half for MFF.
It's video!
It's video! You can move!
That's a cutie!
It's all about you!
It's video BTW!
You can move!
You can be funny!
Yah, you can be sexy too!
Alright, camera, this is between
me and you. Don't tell me you...
I'm drunk already!
You just got struck by a lightning, right there.
Finally!
It's good... well... I.... thought....
that was the camera... no...
Don't incre.... you're trying to get me stuck by a lightning!
I can't see your face!
He's very good at this job.
It's so good to see you again, BBF,
and everyone out there, why aren't you here,
unless you were here, then why are you watching this?
It's a very good reason. Watch this.
He's angered the gods themselves!
Wait! No!
I'll be asleep, did good things,
because my drive here barely involved
four accidents. BARELY.
Barely any!
that's a good thing!
Right?
How do you like it?
Are you enjoying this?
Do you like this?
Yeah, look at that eye!
Look at that EYE! That's looking at you!
Viewers out there, it is looking at you and it
loves you. The cam LOVES YOU!!
The camera doesn't love you. It's.... oh gawd.
It's flipping you off!
Now it's showing me pics of
what you did to your cam last night!
You're a dirty man!
A dirty, dirty man!
Hi, it's Sparky Bluefox!
It's AC2018 but not yet!
It's only Wednesday.
The con hasn't even started
I can't wait, it will be awesome.
Sir, for a moment you looked like Uncle Kage,
I was terrified, I don't know what happened.
I got a tan.
I'm really drunk.
I need help.
My friend here....
[sad trombone]
You monster!
Not only is he BBF, he's
German. You don't say no to Germans.
That's just the rule.
You didn't teach me how to use Twitter properly
so I made a small mistake.
Oh, what did you tweet?
You know.... uuuhhhh....
Not the AC Twitter but rather
to a group chat
brought some lovely company in the form of
people that really should not be
sent the more.... uhm
private messages.
There was a message I intended to send
to the GoH but I didn't realize
that it was a group chat.
Something tells me now that you
did it on purpose...
I did not! You knew that's
the damn group chat!
I didn't know!
Are you blaming me for
technological incompetence?
Yes.
That is true, I'm Asian so I can.
I have a default judgement against you.
We'll raise
this beer
against the start of the fireworks.
Whatever happens first,
that's what we're going to do. Cheers.
Whatever goes "boom" first.
So, die Nacht war ein bisschen kurz... Alright, it was a somewhat short night...
aber wir gehen jetzt shoppen but we'll go shopping now
Alles wird gut. It's gonna be alright.
Wer herausfindet,\Whoever finds out
von wem die heutige Episode gesponsort ist who sponsored todays episode
der bekommt von mir ein Monster. will get a Monster from me.
Warum bist Du betrunken? Why are you drunk?
Weil ich ein Frühstücksbier hatte. Because I had a breakfast beer!
Ein Frühstücksbier A breakfast beer
da komm ich mir irgendwie undressed vor. I feel like I'm underdressed.
Tag Eins im sonnigen Kalifornien. Day One in sunny California.
Im sonnigen Pennsylvania, meinst Du. You mean in sunny Pennsylvania.
Da ist Sonne. There's sun.
Zwischen den zwei Sturmfronten. Between the two squall lines.
Tani, hast Du Deine Regenbrille geholt? Tani, did you get your rain shades?
Meine Taucherbrille. My Scuba glasses.
Die Deutschen! The Germans!
Morgen! Morning!
...and here you can see Tani and Nightfox
getting the room keys invalidated
for everybody else.
Being the nice friends they are.
Immer wenn einem garnichts mehr einfällt When you run out of ideas
kann man immer noch aus dem Autofenster filmen. you can still film out of the window.
Ahhh! Die Todesstrahlen sind zurück! Aaaah, the death rays are back!
Lauf, Forest, Lauf! Run, Forest, run!
Die Sonderangebote sind mal wieder irre. The discounts are crazy!
Man bekommt jetzt schon einen You're getting a whole item
für den ganzen Preis. Irre. for the whole price. Crazy.
Schuhe, Schuhe, Schuhe, Schuhe..... Shoes, shoes, shoes, shoes...
Shopping, shopping, shopping, shopping....
Haben Sie auch immer das Problem dass Ihre Bibel zu dick ist? Don't you hate it when your bible is too fat?
Ich habe hier die Lösung für Ihr Problem! I've got the solution to your problem!
Die offizielle Diät-Bibel. The official diet bible.
Extra dünn. Ultra-Slim.
Geheimtipp! Nicht weitersagen! Secret! Don't leak!
Sie haben zwei Sorten Pringles: They have two kinds of Pringles:
Die einen Pringles sind normal. These Pringles are normal.
Und die anderen Pringles sind: The other Pringles are:
LAAUUUT! LOOOUUD!
Leise. Silent.
LAAUUUT! LOOOUUD!
Leise. Silent.
Wir haben es wieder getan. We did it again.
Wir wollten es nicht tun. We didn't mean to.
Aber wir haben es doch getan. But we did.
Wir sind hungrig einkaufen gegangen. We went shopping hungry!
Live from Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania,
right here at the beautiful Westin Hotel,
it is Anthrocon!
Tilt Longtail for KDKA
Action News, come on down for Anthrocon this weekend.
Lots of fun.
I wonder who my next victim will be.
[hyena laughter]
You're killing her!
This is what happens when you don't have an ID on you.
This is the legendary laughing hyena!
Actually it's a siren!
Right, it's also a siren!
I'm the siren kitty!
This is going on Youtube tomorrow!
Is this for BBF's video?
Yes.
I knew it!
It's the monsters happening!
I failed! What happened to Science?
I gotta find Dr. Conway right now!
If you're me, and I'm you,
then who the hell am I?
DR. CONWAAAY!
SAVE ME!! AAAHH!
I need to find Dr. Conway
to fix my head.
Oh really?
Yeah, we ran into a laboratory
and something went wrong.
Hey, it's BBF!
Wave to BBF!
Here we are at Anthrocon Dealer's Registration.
Happy dealers!
Say hello, happy dealers!
HAPPY! HELLO!
Our enthusiasm is totally legitimate!
Lots of loot!
Why the **** do you buy oil filters on a vacation?
Why not?
Because they're really cheap here and....
Kennst Du diese Pnöpel? Do you know these.... things?
Das sind die, die das halbe Auto zusammen halten It's the things that hold half of the car together
die man sonst nirgendwo kriegt. and you can't find them anywhere.
Wow, am I on camera?
I booped the camera.
Hello!
Hi!
Wow, it's a.....
How's it going?
Good, how about you? Just got here, little bit tired,
as you can tell, it's fun to be back here.
It's great to be at AC and I love it.
Y'all have a good time!
Hang on a minute...
AAAHHH!
Mine wins!
It's a light war!
Raahr!
I scared you didn't I?
You were like whoah, omg, wow!
And I was like whoah OMG WOW wow!
I'm gonna eat you now!
No!
But I know that's what you all really want!
No... nooo!
Yes. Look in my muzzle.
NO!
You just wanna live in there, don't you?
No!
Yes, you do!
Come on, prey!
No, no...
Yes!
No, no, no....
I'm coming for you!
YAAAAHHHHHRRRRR!!!!
Let's play!
There's just four more years
and then another World Cup.
We gotta train, we gotta practice.
Oh! Waah! Bright light! Ow!
Oh hello there!
Hello!
God, it's been too long since I've seen you!
I'm not in fursuit, tho!
AAAHH!
The camera's gonna kill me!
He wants his belly r...
WAAAAAAAAAAHH!!!
Face the camera!
Nuh!
Come on!
I'm immune!
It's like looking at the sun!
It's bad for you!
You'll be on BBF's video!
NAAAAAAAAAAHHH!
Come on, enjoy this!
Enjooooy!
Awwrrrr!
Awwwwrrrrrr!
Awoo!
Aoooo!
Bark! Grrrrrrarrrrr!
I have it on video, it's evidence!
Grrrrrrr!
Ahhhhhahhahhh!
Follow the light!
It's a pick up lime.
Shhhh. It's funny! HAH!
Your camera against mine!
Seee?
Oh yeah, but you got the light. No. Nonono...
No bright, no bright!
And the light!
And the lens!
And the light!
And the lens.
Tripple wielding!
That camera! That camera! That camera!
Can someone tell me what the hell we're videoing?
We're being camera people!
This is what we do - stare at each other!
That's American technology for you!
But hey, whatever works, right?
BBF, I spent more
on repairs this afternoon than I spent for the car!
You are German!
How do you properly pronounce that?
Aldi.
Äldi?
Aldi.
Äldi?
Aldi.
Aldi!
Bright! Uh! Ah! Ah!
Why U so brite?
Y U so brite?
I wanna know y u so brite!
I wanna know y he so brite!
Stop yelling at the camera!
Y U DO BRITE!
What are you doing?
You're yelling at a camera!
I need to know why he so bright!
It's an inanimate object!
Hey, you're not supposed to be here!
Let's see if there's any tyre marks left on you.
No tyre marks. I cleaned them up good!
I'm fine. I got all better.
Praise Canadian health care. That's what did it!
Thanks Obama!
Thanks Obama! [laughs]
I'll use my new found freedom.
With my new.... uh, bone.
My new bone. Thanks, Obama.
You're a classic!
It's 2008, right?
Yes!
It's only 10 years ago!
Just like yesterday.
That is adorable, wow!
You are so adorable!
I know!
You know it. Of course you do.
You get away with everything because of your looks.
And you know how to use them.
You know how to seduce the chicken
before you steal them.
I'm surrounded!
I feel like I'm a sandwich!
I guess I'm an old maid!
It's a camera and a bright light.
I wanna walk towards the light.
I gotta follow the light.
I gotta.... I gotta.
I gotta touch it.
It's something brighter than I am!
And I have to touch it!
[belches]
I'm in the search for moving air.
I'm searching this way.
A crap I'm so drunk
you should not be...
Hi! Boop!
Boop! Boop!
Boop, fucking Boop! Fucking Boop Boop Boop!
Yes, you, the viewer,
I booped your nose!
You couldn't feel it, couldn't see it, but
I bo.. bo...
Haaaaaaaaaaaaiiiiiii!
Boop Boop Boop Flap Flap Boop Flap!
There, that's committed to fucking video you fuck!
Yeaaaah!
Keep choking, I'm just gonna stand here and do
terrible things to myself.
You saw how adorable they were, right?
Can you see my nose?
AAHHH! Bright light! AaaAAAAH!
It's so bright!
Ahhh! It's so bright!
I'm good now, it can't be bright anymore.
Oh hey, it's a camera!
Wow, it's a camera!
Why are they always staring at me?
What do they know that I don't?
HUH? What do you know?
OH MY GOD HE'S BLUSHING!!
NO!
Such blushies!
No!
Neh! Eh.... What the...!
Ehh! Ey! Put that.... eh!
Eh! Ahhh!
Aaaahhhhh!
Mine!
[fast forward Mine]
Mine!
Hahaha, you're it now!
Yours is not yours anyway.
EEYYY!
It's his now!
I gotta put my camera on first!
*wails*
Nope, you're not done yet!
Oh Hi, camera guy!
Okay, it's you.
You're good, that's fine!
Don't listen to him. He's full of lies.
It's all lies!
Furries don't exist!
The doughnut doesn't exist?
I hate this sh*t!
If the doughnut exists, where's the hole?
Why do they sell the holes?
True.
This is a very bright light.
What? What?
No!
I'm more important!
Ow! Ooooow!!
Ahhh! Owww!
I lost my paw!
I'm keeping it!
Nooooh!
Stop!
What day is it?
I forgot!
Anthrocon-Day. That's good to know.
Welcome to the opening
ceremonies of AC2018,
I am sharing the stage with my very
handsome and.... you wrote this, didn't you?
Of course I did.
Actually it was your mom.
The same one that someone
tricked into going to
the Cards against Humanity tournament last night?
The very one!
Shaddap!
Ah. Now I know the guilty party.
You'll be hearing from my lawyer.
I wanna say thank you for
having me, I feel very
honored...
and this is my
first con here.
so I'm a newbie.
Just be gentle!
Our other honored guest...
I don't wanna say it until she's actually
up here because she's so modest
that when you start talking about her
she kinda like crumples up
into a little ball, it's adorable.
When you start mentioning the Hugo award
and the Nebula award...
and the nominee for the Eisner award...
This is Ursula Vernon by the way!
Respected children's book author,
Ursula Vernon.
Hi everybody, I've been coming
here for years and years and years
but it's amazing to be
a GoH, they gave me a suite the
size of a football field,
Wow!
And I hardly know what to say
the security staff
said "The GoH, Ursula,
it's just Ursula, you don't have to be
excited, it's just Ursula!" so
thank you all so much for
having me here as a Guest and giving me
that terrifyingly large suite that...
there are four thermostats in that suite!
Yeah, there's four timezones in there.
And our final honored Guest is our
charity for this year,
the wonderful folks who are helping
rescue various dogs
the South Hills Pet Rescue.
It's okay, I was the same the first time I was on stage.
Stage fright, isn't it?
Get a fursuit up here, we'll pretend.
Here we are.
Yay!
Thanks everybody for coming!
Thanks for having us as a charity this year.
It's greatly appreciated.
My wife and I...
The dogs are here, they're all very friendly,
you're welcome to come and visit them!
Enjoy your weekend, we'll be here all
weekend, and... let's get
furry!
I think that's all...
I believe that's it!
Except for the formal welcome!
Oh, the formal.... I'll let you do it.
On behalf of AC,
and all of its members, and the wonderful
city of Pittsburgh, we are
officially welcomed to the opening
of AC 2018,
Movie Monsters!
Go have fun!
Let me put this on your lanyard here...
There you go mate, you're all set!
That was opening ceremonies, not closing.
This is not a sad time, this is a joyous time.
AC2018, right now,
starting off, and I love it!
Absolutely love it!
This is my camera!
This is the one I started filming with!
It's 2009!
Nostalgia for you!
This is what the camera wants to be when
grows up: A nice big good camera, not
a little thing.
Good cat! This is a good cat!
You know you're a really good cat?
Yes, you are!
Who's a good cat? No, that's a dog...
Who's a good dog? Noone says
"Who's a good cat?" No...
They don't say that.
We're not good.
Yes, aaahh! AC, it's awesome!
I'm wondering if the lens is gonna burn it out.
So this is BBF....
...taking pictures of other people...
Chipper, I can see your butt!
I can actually see your Scribble hole, too.
This thing again, yes!
Oh yeah, baby, get my macro shots!
My eyes are up here!
Look down there.
Down there! Down!
Hah! Another one!
Hello!
Are you having fun yet? I am!
I'm at AC 2018!
It's gonna be a
blast!
It's zee Germans!
Zee Germans are here!
As expected!
As always!
Zee Germans are...
...being observed?
Hello. Hi!
That's a thing. It's just all
up in my stuff. Yay.
That's gr.... Hi!
Hi, I'm lost.
Is this New Zealand?
No!
Damn.
I think I got off on the wrong plane.
I'm spying on you!
It's video!
Oh!
You've been a bad boy already!
Look at that!
Bad doggie.
Oh yes, you're bad.
You know you're goddamn cute?
Yes, you are!
Welcome to AC! Hi!
MOW!!! MOWWW!! MOOOOOWWWWW!
Oh god! What!
You're gonna make another one?
Yes. Are you drunk?
I am.
Okay, you're getting another one.
Yeah, you better!
No, I'm not drunk, I haven't had alcohol
for.... whut? A night?
Lies.
No.
Lies.
Wednesday I had a lot, and all day
yesterday I was sick.
Not good, I missed all of Thursday.
You're such a pussy.
Excuse me, I don't come from a country where
all we do is drink!
This is a picture, right? I stand still.
No.
No?
It's not a picture.
IT'S A PICTURE!
It's not!
It's many good pictures!
It's a lot of pictures in a row!
It's the Poofster!
The poofiest poofy-face!
I love having a brass section.
How many people were here
on Wednesday last year?
There might
have been a bit of excitement.
I wasn't there for this...
but I have very good
reports for most of it at least.
Last year there was an individual who
during AC
I don't want to be insensitive
the last thing a comic wants to do is to upset people.
We want to make people feel good.
This individual
may have been somebody who was
in transition.
perhaps had gotten
far along the process
He was about 9ft tall
80ft wide
like a line-backer, sort of...
beautiful hair, tho.
This individual was
not feeling well.
We suspect the individual perhaps had
inbibed in something that was a little bit
more than a wonderful German Riesling.
You may have noticed
some of the representatives of the Allegheny
County Sheriff's Department, who
keep an eye on things in the Westin.
One of them is our absolute favourite
Deputy Will Kisner.
He's that nice broad-shouldered
African-American gentleman, who
has a big smile and just makes sure
everybody stays safe
Let's hear it, yeah!
Bill was sort of watching this
I'll say Lady. Please forgive me
that's the best I can.... this lady
from a distance and started to think
"Maybe it's time I inquire."
So he went up
and he's sensitive and
said, "I think
"Pardon miss, you seem to be
very upset. Is there something I can do
to help you?"
And her response
involved a very
unkind thing about
Bill's African heritage.
At which point Bill said,
"Okay, we're starting to get towards
'disorderly' at this point."
The conversation didn't get any further because
the lady jumped him.
They began to fight.
Flying fists, rolling around,
tussling on the ground,
several people went to help
and...
...at one point this individiual started to
reach for Bill's weapon and
then it became a 'free for all'.
Somewhere in this
was overheard a voice
saying: "So that's what
pepperspray smells like!"
Now...
Up until now,
the facts of the story are
agreed upon.
What happened next, there's several versions
of what happened next.
So as the story teller I make it
my perogative to chose the version
I like,.
While this
Tazmanian devil dust cloud of
flying fists and punches and
screaming and pepper spray was going on,
one of my security guys ran up to help
and the individual's
artificial breasts
flew out and landed
The individual was subdued
with the assistance of the Dorsai Irregulars
and Hotel security,
Officer Kisner
took care of what needed to be
taken care of, they took the individual downstairs
to a nice
comfortable transport to a private
room and
then my security guy came up
Bill, what am I supposed to do with these
Jibbly Jobblies here?
And Bill said:
Put 'em in the Lost and Found.
That was the end of the story for Wednesday.
The story picks up on Thursday when the chairman came
down for breakfast, "Hey guys!"
Chairmen always like to look in the Lost and Found to see
what kinds of things have turned up overnight.
Excuse me....
Sergeant....
Uhm...
What's.... ah.... what...
what's that in my Lost and Found?
And he said:
"Oh, that's a pair of Jibbly Jobblies."
I said: "Oh really.
Why exactly are they here?
And why do they
smell of pepper spray?"
The deputy sergeant put down his paper and said:
"Let me tell you a story, Uncle Kage."
This remained, along with the
purse that had not been claimed
which we thought had probably something to do with it,
in AC's Lost and Found for more than a month.
I didn't want to keep it.
So I contacted Bill
and I said "What should we do with the
personal items?"
And he said, "Which personal items?"
I said... *clears throat*
The purse and the, uh, Jibbly Jobblies....
Him: "Oh, just send them to me.
Unless you wanna keep them.
They'll look good on you!"
Yeah, just... eh...
For the record:
They did not look good on me.
Before we start, can we get a huge round of applause
please for the person that spent
400+ hours
for making this possible for us.
Please welcome Jib Kodi.
Do you want to say anything, Jib?
I hope this music video makes sense!
*laughs*
I don't know what to say. 400 hours...
3 minute video...
Happiness is out there somewhere and
it may be your childhood dreams
maybe it's something you stumbled upon the internet one day...
whatever that may be!
Reach out, and give it a boop!
And you'll have it!
Alright, A/V, there's nothing else but
to play it. Let's do this.
Words cannot express how much gratitude we have for
Jib Kodi, he did this all for the kindness of his
heart, he would not take any money, he did this
all because he's Jib Kodi.
Thank you, Jib!
[siren-like laughter]
Excuse me, Miss, are you laying eggs?
What's this?
Oh. The chicken's back!
Either that or there's a car alarm going off.
So, you're close...
That's my car alarm going off!
I think we need to stall!
You ended early, I'm getting robbed...
Xander.
Xander!!!
XANDER!!!
I'm on Twitter way too much,
which means, at all, really.
And I usually just
tweet any thoughts like...
"Do macrofurs lose Jenga on purpose?"
AAHH YEAH I LOST!!!
Anyway,
Sometimes, on Twitter,
I just...
*tries to read own handwriting*
I can't read my own handwriting!
Oh, that's it! I get jealous
of my other furfriends
who are like "Hey guys
it's a beautiful day, I just wanna run around
and bark and
chase cars all day.
#dogthings"
I can't do that as a dragon
That'd be like "Hey guys, so
nice out, I just wanna burn someone's
house down and eat their kids.
#dragonthings"!
Anyway...
I listen to a lot of podcasts
but there was one I was listening to
that's like "Hey man,
close to depression?
You can get on the sad bus or you can
get on the happy bus."
I'm just like: This guy has
clearly never been on a bus.
There is no happy bus.
You're taking the city bus:
You are the filling of a rolling
hate-Twinkie.
It's depression on wheels, that's all I can say!
There's usually something weird, too.
Most people look at their cellphones but usually something like
a small girl just staring at a Yoyo....
Oh, and the driver:
he just looks like he's seen ten Vietnams.
I wish I had a rotating police light
that I was gonna stand over the young lady over...
Can we make a recording of that
and give it to Anthrocon security?
I just picture Renegade running through the halls with this
rotating light on his head and that sound!
Oh, incidentally, Boozy...
Badger is down here, is anything
we were saying actionable?
Great, I mean, Thank you!
I bought Tumbles, the Stair Dragon
a VR machine...
You need to understand something about how
VR works.
First you clear out
a large area.
Guess what step he did not do.
I'm walked into my living room
where I had a table scarily
simliar to this one. He
is facing away from the TV
screaming "Die! Die! Die!"
and there are empty glasses
shattered all over the room.
"What happened?" - he said:
World War II.
Then he shot me.
Because that's something you can do in VR.
If you sit next to someone in VR
you're going to the hospital.
But it's hysterical.
There is a scary
let's just call it "Shooty McScareme"
and this is a wonderful...
they feel like guns!
until you throw it at your TV!
It didn't break the TV,
It broke the sound bar...
which, I didn't know when
I'm not that accurate when I
throw stuff...
I can't hit the .... but
I can destroy sound
with stupidity.
And that's why I am a furry.
[hyena-siren-laughter]
Hi, mom!
Oh no, it seems to like you now.
This is a problem.
I guess it's yours now,
so I'll just...
It still likes me!
Now I've made it cheese.
I need to trade this thing for the cheese burger!
Hello, how are you?
I'm good, but I'm sweating. But hi!
But:
but I'm gonna be...
OMG it's an umbrella!
Hey, umbrella!
You're getting my picture?
how much do you want of my ugly face?
Uh!
Aaaaaaah!
AAAHHH!
WHAT! Do you have nothing better to do
than record me?!
I'm not that interesting!
Record him!
Look at him!
He wants to be on TV!
Put him on TV!
Yeah, there you go,
gotta make sure it's not me right?
hang on...
I got you... he's good to go!
He'll be famous!
Have fun!
Hey, don't do that!
Hold on, I have to lick a camera.
That's right, oh yeah, it's happening.
This is expensive? Is your camera
expensive? Tongue? Tongue?
There's a sign behind you!
I'm gonna stop!
I'm going to bed and I'm going to tell
... gonna call someone on my new-age cell phone
it's a pre all night call
I'm gonna touch myself on enough time
till they bring me a sandwich...
cause you can do that in 2018.
You poke your phone in the right kind of ways
they'll bring you a sandwich.
Or a pizza.
Yeah, anything, really.
Why deal with a sandwich when you can have a pizza?
You know today, I gave my parents
a Schnitzel for the first time in their lives,
we went to Hofbräuhaus.
and they were very impressed.
They hate all food,
but okay, they'll settle with the European food.
Like Indian, Asian, they hate it.
German food, they're like "Yes."
You said you have a camera but I can't
see because it's so bright!
Boop!
Oh, it's Sony!
Not a Canon, don't worry!
Oh there you are!
No paparazzi, nope!
Cataboop!
Too late!
What is it,
a Cariboop?
It's caribou, not deer!
Stop it!
Dammit!
You're horny anyway.
They're antlers, they're not even horns!
OMG you get everything right!
Wrong I mean!
Your mind is gonna see this:
I said no! No!
No awoo!
Pineapple pizza and
awoo shall be banned if I'm president
of the United States, even tho I'm Canadian.
Like that?
It's cute!
It's like a GoPro but not!
Awoo!
No awoo!
Awoo!
No awoo!
AWOOOOO!
Uh uh uh huh huh!
Awooo!!!
Nuh uh uh!
AwoooOOOOOoooo!
Hi!
I know you!
Hi, you know me, I'm here!
So this is a story of how I got this laugh:
In eight grade
I sat with this group of boys
and they were absolutely hilarious!
Believe it or not, my laugh was silent.
Absolutely dead silent.
And they made me laugh one day
to the point where I couldn't
breathe so I had to
inhale, so what you're hearing
is me silent laughing but because I have to
inhale, it kind
of keeps on going and going
and does not stop. And now
this is my
real laugh. This is
the many things that it sounded like:
bird's that go wild... (?)
a lemur.
A guinea pig.
A guinea pig in heat.
A dolphin.
A dolphin in heat.
A donkey.
A donkey in heat.
The trend goes on.
But the 'in heat' thing seems to be a common scheme.
Yes, apparently when people think of me they
think of sex. And animals
having sex. I have no idea why.
Hello, my eyes are up here!
Ooooohh!
It's too late in the evening for this!
Very close!
Hi!
Who's behind the camera?
Guess who!
Oh you!
The bad guy!
The bad guy...
I think this is Anthrocon, right?
This is Anthrocon, right?
I hope so!
2018?
I think it is!
This is actually Saturday
morning already. Guess how late it is.
I think it is!
It's Saturday morning.
It was Friday, into Saturday,
but it's okay.
it's just Saturday morning.
Nothing is okay. I want pizza.
Well, Pizza Parma!
Oh!
I always go there.
I want pizza now.
I know. Pizza Parma.
Open till three.
This is a commercial for Pizza Parma now.
Following me. It's following me,.
You know that I don't.
Are you... what.... why?
Aaaaaahhhhhh!
I'll ..... hide here....
I don't like the camera either
it has a bright light!
It scares me!
Nuh huh!
Are you videotapin' bruh?
You see ahm... look ...
I ....
Oh shit!
Do you love dogs?
If you love dogs and wanna help them
stay alive...
10 cents helps,
$5 gets you a ribbon,
if you put in $100 you get ten
tickets free to the charity
show!
Hello everybody!
Wow!
WOOOOOW!
WWWWOOOOOOWWWWW!
Yeah!
Aaah!
Waaaahh!
WOOOOOWWWW!!
WAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!
WwwwoooOOOOooooowwwwWWW!
WOOOW!
This is the line-up for the parade,
rather the preparation for the parade,
everything is going perfectly smoothly
there is no panic, everything
is completely under control
and I am as calm
as a cucumber.
As we say here in America.
Cucumbers being known to being very
calm friuts.
Hey, see what time it is!
Almost time for the parade!
It's toon time!
Hello Deutschland!
Pittsburgh loves the furries!
We love you!
Hi mah!
I love you!
We love you BBF!
Thank you Pittsburgh!
This is the AC 2018 fursuit parade!
We do this just for the city of Pittsburgh
You guys are fantastic
We want to give back some of the love
you've given
*cameraman barks*
Do I have to take him in?
You're not nocturnal!
You're a big scary beast!
That's how I like them.
Scary, beast,...
...and with ketchup.
Ketchup?!?
I do not taste good with ketchup!
It's tasty!
No!!
Ketchup improves anything!
No!
I bet you taste well with Heinz 51.
You don't even get good ketchup!!
D'eh!!
No!
NOOO!!
You know better....
No you don't, come here!
You're gonna murder us all!
Hi!
How are you?
Doing good!
Good! Stay that way!
We're at the Meet and Greet
for meeting and greeting. Yeah.
That's what we do.
All these people are meeting and greeting.
Do something!
Do something...
Do something weird.
Hi there!
Are you having a good weekend?
Look at all these weird...erful people!
Nerd! Nerd!
They're all here!
I don't know why!
Sometimes I'm seeing something on Youtube. I'm too old for that!
I don't know what the Youtubes are anymore.
Hey, do you listen to Spotify?
What, do I listen to Spotify?
Good evening people.
I'm being stalked by a camera again.
Dunno why, but I'm being stalked by a camera.
It's scaring me because
I don't know why he's staring at me.
Could you help me? Please?
How can you not have fun at this con
for Pete's sakes?
Yes, yes yes yes!
It's all good.
The weather's perfect now
somebody.... God turned on
the air conditioning and it became
bearable outside. The parade
went very smoothly.
Gonna have good weather tomorrow too.
So... yes!
All is well!
Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes!
See if you can keep up with this, cameraman!
Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes!
Everybody likes motion sickness.
The mind boggles!
This is just an average day for us!
An average day.
Twinkie! Waffle!
Hiiii!
Bark!
Hi camera!
This is the mirror version!
Oh, this is me now!
*mumbles*
Heeey!
Alright! Gotta go back!
[fire alarm]
Ladies and Gentlemen,
may I please have your
attention. We apologize
at this time we are not
able to use the elevators
until the fire department has
cleared the alarm.
The understanding that we have been given
is that someone
thought that the "no smoking" signs
did not apply to him.
That's the information we have at this time.
If anyone
by any far out chance
can identify the person
who thought that the "no smoking" signs
did not apply to him
I promise to let
you have a piece as a
souvenir.
I don't know much about what's going on
everything's second, third hand.
There was no fire.
Somebody was smoking a cigarette
in an elevator and
tripped an alarm
Kage's out for blood now.
Someone really smoked in the elevators
and he wants to know who did it.
How was Anthrocon?
No fire.
And the fire alarm:
f***ing i***t smoking.
How's that?
Oh, that was three words. I'm sorry!
Meow?
Meeeoooww!
Yeah, I didn't want to do this because I'm right-handed
and do you know how hard it is to relearn everything with my left?
It ain't fun folks! Here's
some advice!
You'll learn after three movies and three seasons
that what I went through,
illiteracy is a good thing!
Don't breathe! It doesn't do
any good for you. It's a bad
idea!
It's water!
It is flavoured water.
It's called Black Mail, kids!
And that's called Black Mail!
No, no, oh god no!
Oh stop! No, no!
You stop! Don't do this to me!
Oh god no!
The MCFC dobie!
...back with you to Pittsburgh
Oh my god no, Brampton
Brampton...
Hey Ronnie!
What?
Welcome. You found a smelly doggie and it's cute!
I found a stray doggie and
I know where this doggie belongs:
it belongs up in the city of
Brampton, Ontario
because that is apparently where all dogs
go to annoy its
owners and strays and
I can tell you where the
dog belongs but that wouldn't be appropriate.
Ahahaha! *bark* *yip*
Ah, gawd, see.
This is what I have to do with stray doggies.
Because stray doggies clearly cannot
handle themselves so I have to go
handle it for them. Now if you excuse me
Ladies and Gentlemen, I need to take this dog
back to its hometown.
Hi! Hi!
I'm really close to your camera.
Aaaahhh!
No, no!
We don't bite the camera.
Don't bite me!
No!
That's some impressive shit, what is that?
A camera!
Oh. Well, f*cking d'oh!
That's a later model.
I can't see anything.
You know how you're blinded by headlights
I can't see anything because of that.
Thank you.
Hey kitty! Hi!
What have you got there?
Ooooh!
Has the kitty won an award?
The kitty has won two awards!
You've been a good kitty, haven't you?
Awwww!
What's the awards for?
Can I see?
Oh, you got the art show
popular choice award AND
you got the staff choice!
Oh yeah, you're a very, very
good kitty! Awww!
Congratulations!
Look at the happy kitty.
This is the final day!
The final day. Gotta get all your purchases
in. Get them in, come on.
Buy buy buy!
Buy low, sell high!
The market is gonna close
tonight here at AC 2018!
Gotta get your sales in.
Get 'em in now!
Yeah!
Hey you!
What are you so angry about?
You're a mad dog.
And a bad dog.
A street legit dawg.
You know what?
You might be as grumpy as it gets but you're still cute.
Yes you are cute.
Oh yes.
He's so cute!
No, it's on!
Why you always have a camera?
Can't you just live in the moment?
Camera, you said?
Hello camera!
You said A camera?
Hey cam.... oh no. Right, you don't have "a" camera
He never has "a" camera.
He has like six cameras.
Oh, now he has two cameras.
Now he's pulling out a second one.
Oh, and I made the fursuiter go away.
Oh yes.
I was just trapped in the elevator for like...
30 minutes, too. That was awesome.
I broke the elevator.
The elevator going from the DLCC down,
it broke while I was in it.
and that was ter...
WHY DO YOU HAVE TWO??
Is it going?
Hi AC, now you get idiot in stereo!
Oooohhh oooooohhhhh!
Ooooh, it's like he's in 3D,
like he's really there! Wooooowww!
Ah, it's over guys.
Go home. That's it.
It's a wrap. Go home.
What are you doing? Yeah you.
Get outta here with your cameras and your
your phones and..... oh.
I see how it is.
That's not your job, that's his job.
Doing the old booping thing right? Yeah.
He's got a permit for it.
You don't. You can get
a fine from Pittsburgh if you do that.
Yeah, that's right.
The last day at AC!
What is going on here?
I just got here!
Why is it over?
Come back! Keep partying guys!
Come on back!
This is not fair!
Do you want a hug?
Aahhhh whoo hoo
Why is it over?
*whines*
Next year will be better!
There'll be another year?
Yes!
You promise?
2019!
Thank you, thank you!
There's gonna be another one, guys,
don't worry about it! It's okay!
*cries*
Hi! Hello!
AC is almost over!
Such a great time!
Awesome con. My favourite con...
... that I'm not running.
Watch out for BBF, man...
He may be all fancy with his little
he'll put something on as my screen name
My name here, he'll make something up!
It'll say something, Fender, I don't know what
it is, he'll do things with graphics
you have no idea!
You have no idea what he can do!
He'll screw around the video, there's nothing
true, it's all a lie!
It's all editing, he makes it all
look fun, it's really boring.
It's all because of BBF editing.
He probably put something under here right now
that says something really stupid
I can't see because it's gotta be edited!
Oh my god!
Stop it BBF, stop it!
Nuh-huh! No!
No, okay.
If I can't see it,
it can't see me.
Right?
Oh no, it's still there!
Nuuh!
Okay, I'm lost.
Now I can't see.
No, no!
High tech equipment here at AC
We have an automobile!
It doesn't use a horse!
You can go around the block
all day!
It's so much fun here at AC
we got the latest technology,
Look at this thing!
Just off the show-room floor!
Only the finest
safety equipment available in this:
A door! To keep you inside
from falling out!
A seat, where you can put your ass!
So you don't fall out!
A steering wheel that you can hold on to!
So you don't fall out!
That's all you need!
Look at this thing!
Spats, are you ready
to drive in this fine machine?
It's alright.
Know what it's like to ride in something like this?
No, it'll be my first time.
Just hold on, it feels like you're gonna
fall out the entire time.
I rode in this
doing 5 MPH, I'm like...
That's enough!
It is amazing!
You are in for a treat!
Fine, fine machine.
I don't know why they stopped making these.
Does it actually have a heat gauge in there?
Yes, it's basically a thermometer
and pressure gauge, so if it goes up
you'll want to cool down.
Welcome to the end of AC,
it's really sad.
Depressing.
Presented to you
in Hi-Firrdelity.
Doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo....
Thanks for coming to Motor City Furrycon 2019!
Oh! You're Arrow!
Hiiii! The con is over!
No, it's not yet!
We got more work to do!
Eight more hours!
Please make it stop!
It's Sunday already!
We need to take a break.
Dingoes!
We got all the dingoes here at AC
come on down, check them out, we got one,
two and three!
All the dingoes!
But wait, there's more!
We got dingoes with shirts,
we got dingoes with no pants,
we got dingoes with no shoes!
C'mon, check it out here at AC!
The dingoes are back!
THE DINGOES ARE BACK LOOK AT THIS!!
Everyone was wondering where they were?
They were hiding, they were in a witness protection
program, they killed some son of a b****.
They were back in Australia, that's it!
Actually they ate the wrong baby once....
They're back!!
I'm gonna count the dingoes, here we go:
We got one, two...
we got three...
four dingoes,
five dingoes,
we got six dingoes!
Seven dingoes!
NO!
Yes!
Is that cute?
Yeah!
It's cute!
It's a doggie!
And it's cute!
Can't open it, it's closed!
Con is over!
No exit for you!
We got you cornered!
No escape!
Sir!
We need a little bit of privacy!
There is no....
Hey cutie!
Look, a pokemon!
Oh no, the nose stealer.
They'll take your nose.
Oh yeah, that's my nose.
Between the two of us, they'll take your nose!
I've had it happen before.
Ahhh!
Go get him!
Are you okay?
It's okay!
*whines and pouts*
*screams*
Brring, brrring!
Hello?
Brring, brrring!
Hello?
This is his first Revit-hug!
His first purry-hug!
This is Battle Zone.
You like my right to bare arms?
*groan*
Don't worry, I'll protect you.
I'm armed and dangerous.
Boi.
I always like to lend a hand, you know.
That's pretty handy, too.
This is not the voice of AC.
This is the voice of Big Black Fox.
Have you met Big Black Fox?
This is Big Black Fox.
Not your name?
No.
What are you looking at?
Get back to work!
I'm always watching you.
Aaaaaaaalways watching.
Aaaaaaaaaalwaaaays waaaatching.
Oh, that's creepy when you do that!
[laughs in Giza]
Oh my gawd!
You need to turn this into AC's night act next year!
You just walk up and do that,
you have the audience!
This is the sh*t I get into at AC,
we got people baring arms,
exercising their 1st and 2nd amendment
every other amendment that says they have the right
to bare arms. And for some
reason, Paul's arms are currently
in prayer, they're clearly sending thoughts
and prayers to all the others souls
that have been scorched and
tortured by the pure....
...sight of Paul's arms, and now
they're adding another set of arms to
Paul. Apparently, Paul is now
molesting Fayroe.
Apparently Paul is now becoming Fayroe!
Apparently there is no more Fayroe.
I'm doing a very big concern right now.
Oh god, I wish I had never seen anything
that's happening. Paul, what are you
doing? Paul, please!
No!
I don't know what to do but I'm very creepy right now!
It's Movie Monsters!
Is this what it's like when I'm filming people?
This is terrible!
I can't see shit!
There's a camera there, and a camera here.
Now you're just being an asshole!
Am I at least well lit?
I see the red light there!
Hi, how are you? Good?
I don't know what to do with this boy.
This is why noone films me, I'm not
interesting in front of a camera.
I've been looking for him all... con... long!
Yeah, finally, all con...
...all weekend, just like, holy crap!
Where you been??
All over the place!
I told you,
I'll be in the lobby, and I came down!
I was in the lobby!
Then I moved over!
Mine!
No, mine!
[Fire alert]
[Fire alert] Alarm has been activated on
Floors 22, 20,
[Fire alert] 21, 22,
[Fire alert] 23 and 24.
[Fire alert] are included in this
[Fire alert] alarm.
Westin alarm 2.0! Let's go!
You're watching MadTV!
You did it, didn't you?
No, no no no...