With the headline "City Builds First Unbreakable Bank", the first edition's lead story, written by "Chief Investigative Reporter" Dora R, reports that goblin contractors working for Mayor Noggenfogger have finished construction on the new "state of the art" First Bank of Gadgetzan building, to open to the public with a ribbon-cutting ceremony the next week. The Mayor is quoted going to great lengths to emphasise how bank robber-proof (and kodo-proof) the new vault is, stating, "I declare this bank 110% unrobbable, and I can't wait to see the look on the faces of any poor saps who try!" The animated version of the main photo shows a Boulderfist Ogre attacking the photographer, possibly during a previous break-in attempt. The sheet also features several adverts for local businesses, including Grapplehammer's "Gadgetzan Emporium", Tuskarr Bros. Funnel Cakes, Crazy Smeed's Used Kodo Dealership, Genzo's Payday Loans, and Talan's Bar.