>"L-look Schizo we'll still be in contact j-just not in person!" Judee says trying to calm me down. I feel the rise coming like a wave. The anxiety coming. It can't be stopped now.
>"You'll be fine, sweetie. Anon's here." I blink and the wave pauses. He is. He's here.
>"Yeah...yeah you're right." I think to him. How much I need him. How his name can still the crashing waves of my condition. I need to speak to him.
>The two pat me on the back, impressed at how well I'm taking their abandonment. At least Anon won't abandon me. I need to talk to him. I exit our little club room and take my phone out. I offer to go something this weekend to my boyfriend. He accepts quickly. My heart flutters and I feel the wave of anxiety peter our into nothing more than a gentle tide. Good.
>Home now and I mom stops me as I get home.
>"Sweetie, we need to talk." My heart in my throat again.
>"O-okay mom. What's up?" I can feel the anxiety returning. I start to panic.
>"Your therapist called me and... he tells me you're not doing too well." Fucking narc I swear to god.
>"And Tarja just called. Judeee and Heather aren't gonna be around any more. Without your support network I'm afraid-"
>"Shut up."
>"Sweetie please I just-"
>"SHUT. UP!" I shout at her. She reels.
>We stand in silence a moment in the doorway. I can feel my heart beating harshly.
>"Don't... please don't put me in there." I lose some composure and have to lean against the wall. Mom steps forward and hugs me.
>"We'll talk about it in a week, okay sweetie?I just want you to be safe and happy." I clench my fists hard. She's abandoning me too.
>I go to bed that night restlessly. The thoughts of being alone and afraid assault me. I think on Anon and they abate. I'm able to rest a bit but there's something in the back of my mind.
>"What if he goes too?" My heart stops cold in my chest. No he wouldn't
>"And if he did?"
cont. Im sorry schizobros.