idk why the thread has been talking about poop so much lately, but I might as well contribute.
>be me last night
>mom is making ice cream smoothies with peanut butter, asks if I want one
>fuckyeah
>drink smoothie, go to bed
>wake up next morning for class
>get in car, get stuck in traffic
>am hit with the most gut-wrenching bowel movements I've felt in years
>literally bent over in pain
>spend an hour in traffic, the pain comes in waves for the entire drive
>arrive at class, run to bathroom
>nothing happens, pain goes away
>thefuck?
>go to class and sit down
>this class only needs you to talk to the professor about your work and then fuck off, so I'm just waiting for my turn
>he's taking his sweet time with the other students before me
>pain returns
>ohno
>do not want to run to the bathroom since I'll just be left waiting again
>professor finally gets to me, start talking to him
>pain is getting worse
>doing my best to keep a straight face as I talk about class bullshit
>am saved by him getting a phone call, tell him that was everything I had to talk about and pack
>book it to bathroom again
>nothing happens, pain goes away
>????
>give up and go to my car
>pain returns as soon as I get back on the highway
>this is a cruel joke
>spend another hour in traffic
>get home, book it to bathroom
>body finally decides to release the beast it was holding onto
>it all just sorta falls out without any struggle
>not even a stream, just a single disgusting "plop"
>pain goes away instantly
>look in bowl
>it's soupy and greenish
>spend the next 20 minutes wiping
Apparently the smoothie I drank last night was made with sour, chunky milk. My mom opened a new gallon to make mine and didn't notice. I was the only one in my family to experience this. The taste and texture was masked by the blender and the peanut butter.