>>69086717>Another night staring right up at my ceiling. Jealous. Pillow fluffed, glass of water acquired. Even tried counting sheep or otherwise.>Nothing. Just another night having to wait until I'm too exhausted to keep my eyes open while I pine for the guy. Can't just keep a guy friend and not catch feeling, Janet?>I sigh deeply again as he keeps crossing my mind as I lay here. He's such a good friend and I'm rather upset at myself for doing this every night. He's never expressed a drop of romantic interest in me whatsoever yet still I sit here imagining his warm arms around me, pressing into my back hard.>Makes a girl awful lonely. Can't even bring myself to tell him in worries that it'll destroy our friendship. I reach over and grab my phone, bright light of the screen blinding me slightly as I look at it.>Two AM. I open texts and pour over his messages, short and concise. Types like a guy. I smile and close out of them, starting to check in on something online. Something to distract this yearning.>The haze of tired and weak wanting persists even through some scrolling, mindlessly. All just slowly congeals into some sort of promise I make to myself. Only way I can get it gone.>I'll ask indirectly. See if he's dating anyone. Hell even talk to Amber if I have to. Surely he is. Guys like him aren't common and are quickly snatched up by the first smart girl to come across him. I'll get my answer and shelve my feelings, even if it hurts. >A notion of hope refuses to leave me. I keep having the question arise of what happens when it turns out he's available. It's comforting but cold at the same time. >My phone roughly slapped back onto the little table I keep by the bed as I stare back up, finally exhausted enough to have everything fall into place. Don't run off your best friend because you're lonely, Janet. I close my eyes and slip into dreams of a family trip. Camping in the woods. With Greene.Fin. Hate having to bounce this early but busy. Cya.