>Finally. I wring my hands. I'd been waiting for so goddamned long. I finally get my chance. I'd been on the list for over a year now. It's time for me to show that I'm not a pussy. >The van ride is bumpy. We're headed somewhere for my initiation. Don't care where or what. Just excited to have somewhere to belong. Fucking skinnies. >We stop. Excitement fires through my nerves. Go time. >I get a nod from my driver and hop out. We've pulled into some sort of warehouse far on the outskirts of the city. I take a breath. Place reeks. >To my surprise it's just me and the guy here. I hear the back of the van open and a sort of weight being moved. I turn back and walk to get a view of what's going on. >Holy shit. The anklyo driver rips a tied up human out of the back and drops him onto a tarp, prelaid. >I swallow and it starts to dawn on me what one might have to do to be sworn into an anti-human gang. Out comes a metal bat, too. >The handle is pointed at me. >"Do it. Bash his fucking brains out." >Shakily I grab the end and look down to the guy. He's got a bag over his head, arms behind his back and tied in duct tape. Legs bound the same way. His shirt's gone but his pants are still on. >I can see his chest rise and fall rapidly. He's terrified. I swallow and check the weight of the bat. Thing might as well be a solid log for how heavy it is. I get a smirk from my judge. This thing isn't for show. It won't take but a few swings. >I ready it and look down. He deserves this. Doesn't he? Surely he's someone awful and not just some random skinnie. >I swallow. Surely he doesn't have a family or anything. He's a druggie, they all are. I tighten my grip on the bat. >I raise it up and look down one more time. All I have to to is bring it down. I grit my teeth and focus. No backing down now you fucking coward. I run images through my head of all the horrible shit skinnies have done. cont.
>>68332483 >It moves my hands as I bring the thing down hard. A wed metallic thud rings out. The recoil numbs my arms. >My hands shake as I pull back. The bag's already starting to go damp. I feel sicker than I've ever been. I glance aside to see a nod. >"Again." I'm commanded. >I rear back and go again. The ringing sits into a deep part of my head. That's a noise you won't forget anytime soon. He's still now. >I get another nod. I gnash my teeth, pull back and let another loose. The noise is wet. I drop the bat and stumble backwards. I get a glance of the bag. It's a darker shade and now flat. >The images stays even as I blink. I feel a hand across my back. >"Ayy good job." It's accompanied with a pat. I nod and give a weak smile. >I'm ordered back into the van while he "cleans up." >I find myself staring down at the floor as I sit in the passenger seat. I'd always fantasized about stuff like this. Justice in my own hands. >This wasn't that. Oh... oh god. >I'm startled as the driver door opens, the anklyo guy smiling wide and starting the van up. >I'm driven back to a park not too far from my house. The drive without conversation, just a loud bump of music. It's nauseating. >I stumble out of the thing and get a thumbs up. I return one and close the door, moving into the park itself as he drives off. >I'm now alone with my thoughts. I keep fighting them back with the assurance this was good, necessary. >I still see the flattened bag when I blink. >Worries come in. Worries I can't explain away. >I had no idea who he was. Who's to say he wasn't one of the good ones? Or just a good person in general? I have to trust the gang. >My hands shake. >Are they going to ask that of me again? Oh god. I blink and see the poor skinnie's skull smashed into paste. >I never wanted that. I-I'm a good person. I just wanted to make a difference. Not...not kill people. >The word kill floods me with a realization. cont one more.
>>68332729 >I ended someone. Every aspect of them nothing more than a red smear. Their hopes, dreams, past, future. None if it matters. >I throw up. >It comes in a few waves as the deed plays in my soul. I'm a monster. My eyes shoot wide. >And I've sealed my fate. I'm not getting out of this. One word and I'm behind bars for life. That or a bullet is put into my skull for ratting out the gang. >I cover my mouth and stare down at my own upchuck. Fuck.