>Heather sat in confusion as she read over the 800 word text from Schizo at 2am about how Anon won't let her hold it for him when he pees, the quality of cheese at the local McDonalds, and her missing shoelace
>She had never asked for the Acrocan's number
>after directly relating all three of the events, Schizo called Heather so she could rant at her without delay
>"HEATHER?"
>"Wha-"
>"Heather can you ask your brother if he lets his gf hold it for him while he pees? I keep telling Anon that it's not a big deal and that every guy does this"
>Silence was her only response to the sudden invasive request
>"If he says no - just make some shit up"
>Oh boy, how was she gonna handle this
>"Y'know what I do at times like this?"
>The compee's labored breaths sounded through the phone, eager for advice
>"I like to go to my medicine cabinet and take some pills - do you have any pills you could take right n-"
>"YOU'RE IN ON THIS TOO, AREN'T YOU!?!? RAPTOR JESUS I FUCKING KNEW IT!"
>"It's okay Schizo - I take my pills too right now! Say, maybe we could take pills together, as a sort of bonding act-"
>"DON'T FUCKING PATRONIZE ME YOU CLAM JAMMER!! I'M HEADING OVER THERE TO ASK ULYSSES MYSELF!"
>Heather put her phone back in her pocket, dreading the pending arrival
>"hey sis, I have to piss again, wanna hold it for me?"
>"GOLLY - DO I!?" she exclaimed as she ran towards the bathroom
FIN
(this is worse than any other green I've written btw)