>I slowly trudge over to the car as I get in the passenger seat. What the hell was all that?
>I sit and wait for Mia as I hear the paramedics still chattering and working in the distance. I feel sick. The image of Olivia with her eyes closed being stretched away shaking my hands.
>I don't notice Mia until she's sitting in the car with me. I brace for a sort of remark or something about the formal. Nothing.
>Just slowly and gently I notice her handing me...the pill bottle. I hesitate to take it until I notice Mia's gaze.
>It's the first time I've ever seen her like this. She's scared. I blink slowly as I accept the medication. I roll it in my hands as I peer at it. Suddenly everything seems so banal.
>Mia speaks, quietly. "Ben was it...on purpose?"
>It hurts to think about. There's a non-zero chance. My skin crawls.
>If it was...if she didn't just have an accident. How much did Mia play in it. How much did I play in it?
>I slowly look up to see Mia has come to the same thought already. Eyes wide and on mine as we stare at each other.
>I stammer out, "I-I don't know. I don't...know."
>I hear her grab the steering wheel hard enough to tear the leather as I look back down.
>A very long pause as we sit there. I run everything through my head. A small touch of certainty strikes. This...isn't what I wanted. I wanted to be accepted and liked. Not accomplice to all of this.
>This can't go on any more. I squeeze my hands together, hard. This has to stop. I look up to see a very distressed Mia. I start to find a spot of anger in me, seeing her this mad at facing consequences but it's instantly drained as she breaks.
>"I'm sorry."
>It's a shock. She's never, not even once, apologized. Not for a singular thing since the entire time I've known her. What?
>She starts to fully cry, mascara running. "I never meant to hurt anyone. Not Olivia...not you."
>Any resolved I'd built drains away as she leans over, drawing me into a hug.
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