~Catching Butterflies: Chapter Four~
~AKA I finally fucking learn how to write/format dialogue properly holy shit this is so much easier to read and write why did it take me so long to do this~
A gentle breeze hits my face, flowing in from the open window of my car. The afternoon has just started to cool down as I drive down a series of roads, instructions eagerly spoken to me by the green dinosaur in the passenger seat. I'm not sure where we're driving, but Olivia refuses to answer whenever I ask. The radio is tuned to a station I've never heard before, the sounds of indie synth-pop filling the silence between Olivia's directions. Any objections to my current situation are shot down when Olivia reminds me of what I said; 'by the end of the night'. Occasionally, when we pass an interesting sight, Olivia tells me to slow down as she admires it. The only thing I get to admire over the course of the trip are the break lights of the cars in front of me; I forgot how bad people are at driving in this town. Lucky her. For a moment I find myself regretting getting into this mess, but the energy from Olivia is almost infectious, and I find myself excited for whatever she has planned. I turn the volume of the radio up by one notch, and try to enjoy the moment without crashing my car.
Eventually, Olivia has me turn onto a road that I recognize. I think about where we could possibly be going, but I genuinely don't know. Eventually, she snaps her fingers next to my face and points out of the window.
"There." My eyes follow her hand, and she's pointing to, of all places, Volcano High. The high school we both attended looks completely empty; no surprise, schools in the summer tend to be empty. Still, I can't help but turn to Olivia.
"Really? Volcano High?" I say, my bored tone easily identifiable. She looks at me in return, snorting.
"Dude, trust me. Just park the car." Olivia replies, and I sigh. Even though I didn't expect to come back here anytime soon, I follow Olivia's instructions and pull into the empty high school parking lot, finding a space closest to the building. Shifting the car into park, I turn the radio off and pull my keys from the ignition, offering one last look of apprehension to Olivia. She rolls her eyes, motioning me to step out of the car.
"C'mon, don't look at me like that. Go get the chair." Olivia's words are playful, which eases my fears slightly, but I still can't help but move reluctantly.
I open the door of my car, stepping out and closing it firmly before walking towards my trunk. I rarely use it, so I have to fiddle around with the keys for an abnormally long amount of time before I manage to get it to pop open. I grab the chair, lugging it out and sitting it on the ground before trying to figure out how this thing unfolds. I remember watching Naser do the exact same thing, and I mentally kick myself for not remembering how exactly he did it. One full minute of pulling, pushing, folding and locking later, I've managed to set up the chair. I close the trunk of my car, rolling it towards the passenger seat and the likely pissed Olivia.
As I open the passenger door of my car, I'm greeted with a very bored looking green dinosaur. Olivia looks almost disappointed, and I put on my best faux smile, pretending like nothing was out of the ordinary.
"So.. how do I get you in?" I ask in a nonchalant tone. Olivia rolls her eyes.
"Just.. grab my arm, okay?" she replies, reaching out to me with her right arm. I grab her forearm tightly as she grips the disability handle on the inside of the car with her other hand. It takes some serious lifting on both of our parts, but we eventually get her seated properly. Olivia adjusts herself in the chair, rolling away from the door. I step forward to shut it, turning around to where she just moved and looking at her with a blank expression. She stares at me, as well, as if waiting for me to say something. Nothing comes to mind, however, so I just.. look around awkwardly.
"What are we waiting for?" Olivia asks, as if expecting me to move first. I stutter a sound of approval, beginning to walk towards the high school building; Olivia follows me side-by-side.
We reach the sidewalk that surrounds the building, but Olivia goes the opposite way from the main doors; I follow suit, still confused as to where exactly we're going. Eventually, we reach a set of side doors that, if I recall correctly, lead into the band room. They usually keep these doors locked, especially at night. I turn to Olivia.
"I'm.. pretty sure these doors are gonna be-" My words are interrupted as Olivia waves a hand dismissively towards me as she digs into her pocket. After a few moments, she pulls something out; two keys attached to a metal ring.
"W-Where did you get those?" I ask. Olivia looks at me, a proud and mischievous smile crossing her face.
"Took them off the janitor's belt the last day of school. Figured they'd come in handy someday." She says, spinning the key on one of her claws. I can't help but laugh a little.
Olivia wheels herself towards the doors, placing a key inside the keyhole and turning it. She struggles to open the door, eventually trying to turn the key the other way. This seems to work; a satisfying click echoes from the door before she pulls it open; I remember briefly how much I struggled with doors like these only a few months ago, and silently admire Olivia's upper body strength. She motions me in, and I grab the door, letting her roll her way inside and stepping in afterward. The metal door shuts behind us, and we stand in the band room; it looks like this place was cleaned up since the end of the school year. The desks are stacked in a corner of the room, and very few posters remain on the walls. Olivia doesn't seem to be interested in the room as much as I am, though; she wheels herself toward the doors that lead further into the school, looking at me expectantly. I can't help but try to make conversation.
I begin to monologue, "So.. music, huh. I never did well in this class, especially during the live performance stuff. Guess I'm better off listening, not playing." Olivia looks towards me, sighing and wheeling away from the doors slightly.
"I never paid much attention, but I could play the drums, so I did alright." She says, casually. I can't help but raise a brow; I had no idea Olivia could play any instruments.
"Where'd you learn drums? Were you in a band?" I ask. Olivia snorts at the latter half of that question, and she looks off into the distance, as if recalling hazy memories.
"Naser knew a guy, Reed. I wanted to be in a band, but Reed's band didn't want me, so I never really-" Suddenly, Olivia stops, and her explanatory expression is replaced with an uncontrollable smile as she intentionally avoids looking at me. Curiosity burns in my heart, and I remain silent in the hopes that she'll continue.
"W-Well, technically I was." She says, as if remembering better days. "But there's not much you can do with just a Casio and a drum set."
I can't help but laugh quietly, smiling as I share in her pleasant memories. "If I ever learn to play the guitar or something, I'll let you know."
Olivia looks at me sheepishly, quietly stating, "That.. Yeah, that'd be cool."
Our words linger in the air for several seconds, and the silence quickly becomes awkward. I swallow to clear my throat, and Olivia begins to wheel her chair around back towards the doors that lead into the hallways of Volcano High.
"A-Anyway, c'mon. There's more stuff to check out." She says, pulling the door open, and I find myself speed-walking towards the door to try and stay caught up with her.
We exit the band room and stand in the darkened hallway, the only light coming from windows that only occasionally dot the hallway. It's enough to easily make out where we're going, though, and I follow as Olivia takes the lead. I look at the assortment of lockers as we pass them, remembering what they looked like on the last day of high school; adorned with farewell messages, each one personalized by whoever owned it. I can barely remember the words themselves, and chances are they were generic, but the sentimental memory of that last day forces me to smile as I continue to walk with Olivia. I notice she's doing the same; looking around the hall as we move down it, likely recalling memories of our final days of high school. Whether they were good or bad, I wasn't sure; dinosaurs are hard to read sometimes.
Eventually, we reach the cafeteria. The doors are unlocked, and I opt to open them for Olivia this time. She looks at me as I do this, almost disgruntled, before reluctantly wheeling herself through the door. I guess she doesn't like it when I help her. Either way, we stand inside the cafeteria, and I wander over to the old lunch schedule that still hangs on the wall. They really went all-out for the last month; most of the food items were discounted as a form of appreciation to the student body. My wallet was particularly happy that month. Looking back towards Olivia, I see she's wheeled herself to the center of the cafeteria, looking up and out of the large glass panes that cover one of the cafeteria walls. I move closer to her to do the same; the sun isn't visible from here, but the afternoon sky looks nice. I've always liked the sky; I can only imagine what it'll look like tonight. Maybe I'll get to watch it with Olivia.
"You remember when that food fight started, the day when they were serving meatball subs?" Olivia asks me, laughing to herself as she recalls the incident. I very quickly remember what she's talking about; I never sat in the middle of the cafeteria, so I didn't see a whole lot, but one day the football team and soccer teams kept heckling each other until somebody threw a meatball. Both teams started hurling them, and the rest of the cafeteria quickly joined in. Principal Spears had to scream at everyone to get them to sit down, and both teams had to clean the cafeteria until it was spotless.
"Yeah.. Yeah, I do. That was great." I say, nodding in affirmation to Olivia's question.
I almost wish I got involved in more wacky shenanigans like that; it certainly would've made high school more interesting than it was. But now's not the time to regret anything. I look straight at Olivia, and she returns the gaze. Even though we've both graduated already, I still have tonight to make my most important high school memory. I watch Olivia turn away, a slight blush covering her face.
"W-What are you looking at?" She asks, and I barely register that I've just been staring at her for several seconds. Clearing my throat, I stutter out the word "N-Nothing." before taking a final gaze around the cafeteria and shrugging.
"So.. where to next?" I ask. Olivia ponders the question for a few moments.
"How about the auditorium?" She asks me. I see no reason to refute the suggestion, so I nod along, and Olivia motions me to follow her as she wheels towards the exit of the cafeteria.
The cafeteria isn't far from the auditorium, so it doesn't take us long to get there; the walk is relatively quiet. Once we reach the auditorium doors, I let Olivia go in first, grabbing the door as she enters and following in behind her. Rows upon rows of folded seats extend nearly the entire length of the room, except for a small gap between the chairs and the stage. We approach the stage, finding it the most interesting thing in the room. As I stare at the stage, I'm blindsided by memories of Fang's first performance in this room. The cacophony of laughter that filled the room echoes in my mind, and I slow to a stop as guilt grasps my heart. Olivia notices this, turning herself around and looking at me with a questioning expression.
"You, uh.. you alright?" She asks. I blink, nodding my head and trying to clear the thought from my head as I start walking again. Olivia looks almost sad, but she turns around and we continue until we reach the stage. I look at the staircase, realizing there may be a slight problem.
"Olivia, I don't think-" My words are interrupted by the dinosaur.
"Look under the stage, moron." Olivia's words sting a bit, but I follow her instructions and notice some kind of metal ramp sitting under it. I look back towards Olivia, and she motions me to pull it out. Using my herculean (I wish) strength, I lurch the metal ramp out from under the stage. It's relatively straight forward to use, and I raise the platform until it's level with the stage floor. Olivia rolls her way up the ramp, with a small amount of difficulty. I re-adjust the ramp once she's done, pushing it back in and opting to take the stairs at the edge of the stage. Soon enough, we're both standing under the dim stage lights that, for some reason or another, haven't been turned off.
Olivia takes the lead again, wheeling towards the large curtain and moving it aside as she moves backstage. I follow her, and soon enough we're standing in an even more dim backstage area. There are some leftover set pieces that sit at the edge of the backstage area, likely from the spring play that was performed only a few months prior. I didn't attend, so I don't remember the theme, but it looks like it was nature-oriented based on the woodland backdrop and some of the props.
Speaking of props, Olivia has wheeled herself over to a bin that contains many, many props from the play. She laughs as she digs through them, and I approach her side to peer into the chest as well. As I reach her, Olivia pulls out a plastic banana from the bin, looking up and handing it to me.
"Here, I think this belongs to you." She says, a large smirk covering her face. I purse my lips briefly, but the vaguely offensive joke only serves to make me laugh rather than invoke any sort of negative feeling from me.
"Yum." I utter, accepting the gift. Olivia giggles briefly before scrounging through the bin once again. I don't see anything of interest in it from a glance, so I opt to look around again. My eyes find themselves looking up toward the scaffolding that lines the roof of the backstage, likely for maintenance to reach lights and fixtures. I tap Olivia on the shoulder, and she looks at me as I point up to it.
"You wanna head up there?" I ask, playfully. Olivia remains silent for a few seconds, and a growing concern fills me as I realize the potential for my statement to upset her. Instead, though, she just snorts.
"Good one, monkey." She says, and I look back to the banana that still rests within my hand. I place it back into the bin, and look to Olivia once more; it looks like she's lost in thought right now, though I'm unsure about what.
"The roof." She utters to herself, eventually turning to me and saying the same thing much louder.
"The roof! We should go to the roof! A-Apparently the view is really nice." She states, trying to justify her suggestion. I smirk, shrugging.
"Yeah.. the roof sounds fun." I say, and Olivia seems to genuinely smile in response.
We leave the backstage area through a set of doors in the back, taking a small hallway back to the main hall of the high school. A small disability elevator that I completely forgot exists rests along a staircase that leads back to the main hall, and Olivia rolls her way onto it, using a key from the keyring she supposedly stole to turn it on and slowly deposit her on the floor of the main hall. I take the stairs, which takes a much shorter amount of time; Olivia shows a hint of disdain at this, but doesn't say a word. She continues to lead me through the main hall, and eventually we reach a proper elevator; one that'll take us up to the second floor. Olivia's elevator key also works on this elevator, and as the elevator doors open, we step inside the compact space. Olivia uses a claw to push the [2] button, and the doors close before taking us up.
We're spit out onto the second floor of the high school, and Olivia exists first, rolling her way down the hall. I step out as well, but I can't help but ask-
"O-Olivia, wait!" I say, and she turns her head back towards me with a quizzical expression.
"If the elevator doesn't go to the roof, how are we-" I'm cut off, yet again, by Olivia.
"Don't worry about it. Just.. follow me." She says, avoiding the problem entirely and pressing onwards. I can't help but sigh as I follow her from behind.
Eventually, we reach the Roof access doors. Olivia uses her staff key to unlock this door, as well; the steel door is pushed open to reveal a concrete landing and a set of stairs that lead up to a second landing; I can only assume the roof door is right above us. Olivia wheels onto the landing, and I join her, completely unsure of what exactly is about to happen. She stares at the staircase, sighing deeply.
"Okay. I can do this." She mutters to herself, and I remain silent in confusion.
Olivia wheels right to the base of the staircase, cracking her knuckles as she reaches out to the railing and grabs it firmly. She tugs herself out of the wheelchair entirely, using the railing as a support as she uses just her upper body to pull herself up the staircase. I'm genuinely amazed she can even get up the first few stairs like this; It looks like hell to even try something like that. My concern for her well-being causes me to call out.
"O-Olivia, I don't think that's a good-" My words are cut off by Olivia yet again.
"Just.. shut up, I can-" Olivia continues to do her best to drag herself up the staircase, reaching the halfway point between this landing and the next. I continue to watch her struggle, not having any clue what the hell to do. She doesn't make it much further before she lowers herself onto the staircase in a sitting position, panting as sweat beads at her forehead.
"O-Okay, I need a break." Olivia says between her breaths. As she recovers, I have time to think about what to say to her. The only words I can come up with probably won't help the situation.
"Olivia, you don't need to do this." I say with a concerned tone, hoping to convince her down. She turns her head, looking back up the stairs, and sighs to herself as she lowers her head.
After several seconds, she looks back up at me and speaks in a reluctant tone. "A-Alright, fine. You can help. Just.. let me have your shoulder with one arm, and I'll-"
I cut the dinosaur off, an unintended sternness filling my voice as I try to justify my position. "No, Olivia. We *don't* have to do this. W-What if you fall? Getting down is going to be even harder, I'm not going to risk you getting hurt."
Olivia stares at me, her eyes unwavering, for an eerily long time. She looks genuinely bewildered, as if she didn't expect for a second that I wouldn't agree to this. I stare back at her, awaiting some form of response, and eventually I do get one. Olivia's expression shifts to one of pain, then to one of contempt, then to one of outright anger over the span of just a few seconds.
"What? Even- W- You know what? Fuck you."
Olivia's words cut into me, and I'm left standing in the same bewilderment that I just inflicted upon her. Not in a million years would I expect outright hostility from her, but I watch her move in frustration as she tries to lower herself down the staircase again.
I immediately regret my words. There's a thousand better ways I could've worded what I said, and a familiar feeling of guilt courses through my soul. Hoping to make up for it, I take the first step up the staircase and offer her a hand. "H-Here, let me-"
Olivia pulls away from me, raising an arm to physically shield herself. "DON'T- touch me."
I instinctively take a few steps back, in fear of upsetting her any more than I already have. I can only watch as she struggles to lower herself down the stairs, slowly getting closer and closer to her wheelchair. After a great deal of effort and strength on her part, Olivia manages to grab onto her wheelchair and pull herself onto it, adjusting her position to be seated normally. She looks at me one last time, a furrowed brow that expresses a million and one negative emotions. She looks away as she wheels back through the door and off of the landing. I can't help but follow her, watching her roll herself back toward the elevator down the hall as I stand next to the roof access door.
"O-Olivia, wait! I didn't mean to.." My own words trail off; I don't even know what I didn't mean to do. I watch helplessly as Olivia reaches the elevator, calling it. The doors open, and she looks at me one last time with a contemptuous expression.
"I'm going home."
Olivia wheels herself into the elevator, and I watch the doors close with a thud as it descends.
What the hell just happened? Over the span of a single minute, I managed to completely ruin the whole night for both of us. I continue to stand on the second floor, motionless, with no idea of what to do. I don't want to make things worse, so I'm not going to chase after her. The loneliness of the darkened high school hallway begins to set in, and I suddenly feel cold; Rather than pleasant nostalgia, the environment of the high school serves to assault me with memories of harassment and judgement. What is wrong with me? Why did she get so upset when I said I didn't want her to get hurt?
Yeah, why DID she? What kind of person throws a childish fit over someone caring about them? Who in their right mind would try to climb a set of stairs without using their legs, and then start whining when they can't? I'm not the problem, SHE is. This flash of anger temporarily overtakes my feelings of loneliness and misery, inspiring me to start moving again. I walk towards the staircase that connects the first and second floor, descending as aggressive thoughts turn my body on autopilot. I don't need this. I'm just going to go home. Olivia must've headed towards the main doors, so I leave through the glass cafeteria doors, coming out at the side of the school and looking out over the field. A gentle breeze hits my skin, and I feel slightly more calm. I spend about a minute standing here, taking in the sight and letting the peaceful wind carry away my troubles. As my frustration subsides, I can only worry about Olivia; she can't go home alone, so I should make sure she's okay.
I begin walking, and it doesn't take long before I've rounded the corner of the building and stare at the main entrance. I stop as soon as I spot Olivia; She's currently waiting on the sidewalk in front of the school, staring at her phone. Propping myself up against the wall, I wait. My temptation to run up to her, to apologize for what happened, is overshadowed by my fears of making things worse. If she even knew I was here right now, she'd probably call the police. Over the course of the next eleven minutes, nothing happens. Neither of us move an inch. I watch a familiar damaged sports car roll up to the front of the school, and out of the driver's side door comes Naser. They barely speak as Naser helps the woman into his car, and it's not long before they drive off together. I silently wish I was as good of a friend as he was.
I turn around, beginning to walk back toward the parking lot where my old car is. There's nothing else to do today, other than go home and waste away the evening. Walking down the path leading to the parking lot, I take the time to look around more than I did when we first arrived. The gardening club's handiwork is on display at the edges of the path, taunting me with the pleasant memories that Olivia and I shared earlier in the day. I can't help but be disappointed; the sight of flowers and the presence of nature has been almost tainted for me, the desire to ignore the plants and keep walking afflicting me with intensity. One flower in the garden catches my eye, though. I stop moving, crouching down to get a better look at it. It looks yellow, like a cone with the flat side aimed toward the sky. I grab the flower by its base, picking it from the ground and standing back up. Rubbing the stem between my fingers, I can't help but feel a smile tug at my face.
It's a yellow poppy.
~END~