Snoot Game - Meteor Drop

Snoot Game - Meteor Drop
Title: Snoot Game - Meteor Drop
Status: Complete
Characters: Anon, Fang
Rating: SFW
Classification: One Shot
Author: SticksNTricks
Summary: Fang and Anon go for some Burgers
There was a popular burger stop not too far from Skin Row. It was managed by some weird dude in a winter outfit. It was the summer of 200M2021, and this was about the weirdest sight to behold. But the burgers were good, and that’s what mattered. Before the summer started, Anon bumped into this place by chance. Now it was one of his favorite spots. Mostly because the prices were dirt fucking cheap for a good burger.
But this was more or less a treat. He couldn’t afford to be a regular patron of this place as much as he really, really wanted to. But he wanted to bring Fang here for a good time. The school cafeteria didn’t have bad food, but it certainly had nothing compared to this place.
“What is it called again?” Fang asked Anon as they took the corner to the next street.
The smell was so distracting for Anon that he swore he could taste it now. It only took him a moment to come to his senses after Fang spoke. “Huh, wha? Oh. Uhh… the place is called Meteor Drop.”
Fang tried her hardest to suppress her laughter. “Subtle. Why do they even call it that?”
“Probably because their signature burger is the ‘Meteor Drop.’ Massive fucking burger like you’ve ever seen,” Anon explained.
When was the last time (before Meteor Drop) did he last have a burger of those massive portions? There was Burger Rex’s ‘The Dinopper’ but they weren’t exactly big patties and Burger Rex was a fast food franchise.
“Shit its been a while since I last had a burger. Since we got this whole band started, I mostly kept watch of what I eat,” Fang said with a shrug. “Trish said it was healthier this way. Eating meat and grease causes health problems.”
“I mean… I agree about the grease but eating meat is kinda pushing the ‘health risk’ argument a bit. Wait…” Anon cocked his eyebrow. “Wait, aren't you a carnivore? Don’t you need to eat meat and all that jazz?”
Fang shifted her gaze aside for a moment. “It's complicated.”
“Like about everything else Trish recommends you do that seems out of whack a bit?” Anon gently nudges her with his elbow. “Come on. It’s summer break. And if you’re worried about putting on a couple pounds then you can work it off. That’s what I always do.”
Fang squinted at Anon. No doubt Anon could hear the bullshit alarms going off in her head. “Anon I don’t think you work anything off other than your thumbs.”
Anon playfully winced at her remark. “Ouch! Fair but, ouch! Way to kick a guy when he’s down.”
The pterodactyl snickered and shook her head. “C’mon man. Anyways, it's not like I don’t treat myself to meat once in a while. Just not whenever Trish is looking.”
“I don’t suppose she says anything about your dino nuggets?” he asked as he stopped to open the door for Fang. This time without getting his foot smashed.
“Oh, I just told her they were tofu nuggies,” she said as she stepped in.
A fresh breeze of cold air struck the two as they strode inside. A sigh of content escaped from both of them after having been out in the heat. Not that they had complained much about it until now.
“Well, now we’ll enjoy ourselves in the company of greasy cooked beef burgers without having the tyrant three horned midget chasing after us,” Anon added.
Fang frowned a bit at his comment. “Maybe lay off a bit on her with the insults, okay? She’s still my friend too.”
Her reaction was about what he expected. Anon grimaced a bit but shrugged. She had a point there. It wasn’t like he had to make Fang choose between him and Trish. And besides, this was their time to enjoy together.
“Ah, fine. I’ll lay off. But only because you said so.”
Fang reached up with one hand and patted his cheek. “That’s a good boy. Now, how bout we get that slab of grease slapped into our bellies eh?”
Anon felt his cheeks burn a tint of red from that. Physical contact with a woman once more. Though now there weren't any alarms going off in his head again. Quickly he shook it off and got in line behind a large purple scaled looking dinosaur. At least, he was sure it was one.
“I’m fucking starving man. How long is this going to take?” said the purple dino in an annoyed voice.
“Easy Sus, the wait’ll be worth it. I mean, you see the prices are definitely worth it eh? Besides, we got air conditioning in here,” said another voice from beside her.
Oh wait, there was another human here wasn’t there? Well, okay that makes sense since they weren’t too far from Skin Row. Were they together or something?
“It better be Kris. If it is as good as it smells, let's make this our hangout.”
Fang and Anon looked at one another and back over at the couple. There was something familiar about this situation.
“Hey Fang, you ever get something that’s quite like deja vu but not deja vu?” Anon asked.
“I mean… sometimes?” She didn’t have much to say after that. Though the look in her eyes said exactly the same thing Anon was thinking.
They kinda remind us of… well us.
The line thinned at the passing of each minute. The purple saurian seemed to get more and more anxious as the line drew to a close. Eventually it was their turn. An obnoxious voice came from behind the counter. Another human wearing an obscenely heavy winte coat and had.
“Welcome to Meteor Drop! Home of the Meteor Drop! May I take your order?” he called out.
His voice was higher pitched than Anon thought was possible. If he didn’t know any better, he'd swore it was a 40 year old woman’s voice.
“Holy shit his voice is like fingernails against a chalkboard,” Fang hissed through gritted teeth.
Anon was not a big fan either. Though really, who was he to judge? He himself wasn’t exactly the spitting image of masculinity. (Of course he was also an unreliable narrator and everyone was their own worst critic.) And it wasn’t like the weird winter coated dude looked anything other than a guy from his build.
“Two Meteor Drops. Pronto!” the punk gal spoke.
“Yes big scary purple ma’am! Would you like the Winter Sauce to go along with it?”
A few disturbing images went through Anon’s gutter brain when he heard that. This was the first time he heard of this ‘Winter Sauce.’
Shutthefuckupbraindontthinkaboutit
“Yeah sure why not? I’m just hungry man. Gimme the biggest fattest burger you got,”she muttered.
Fang was just tapping away the seconds. She was also wondering if this wait was worth the burger. At least they work fast here, that’s about all she had to say given it took like what? Five minutes to grill those bad boys?
After that, the couple received their meals and went to grab their seats. Last was Anon and Fang’s turn in line. The great big goofy smile of the old wom- I mean young man never seemed to leave his face.
“Welcome to Meteor Drop! Home of the Meteor Drop! May I take your order?” he exclaimed.
Anon turned to Fang and whispered to her; “He’ll do that every time no matter if he already knows you or not.”
“Oh great, thanks for warning me,” she grunted in her reply. Then turned to face the winter coated freak. “I’ll take two Meteor Drops, well done. And uhh… throw in that Winter Sauce while you’re at it.”
“Oh of course! Anything for the happy couple!” he exclaimed before diving right into the kitchen before Fang and Anon could even bark ‘he/she’s not my boyfriend/girlfriend!’
The human went right to work cooking those patties. The rich scent of beef was thick in the air and it was rising from the greasepit where the overheated wintered human. It was amazing how he was still conscious and didn’t look like an oven roasted pork being in the heated kitchen like that.
“So, skinny! Why do you call your sauce the ‘Winter Sauce?’” Fang called out. Anon had hoped she wouldn’t have asked that.
“Oh that’s an old family recipe! A secret that each Winter passes around to their forebears!” the man called out from the kitchen.
“Oh wow. Your name’s actually Winter?” Fang just smirked at that.
That was about the least conspicuous name for a guy like him with how he was dressed up.
“Oh yes! Winter the 27th! That is me! And I settled in Volcadera Bluffs to spread the good word of my special sauce!”
For a moment, Winter left the grill, before returning back to pull alongside him some cement mixer looking contraption that was just covered in icicles. A great big blast of chilly white smoke came spewing out from the nozzle of the mixer and splashed all over the grill. What was left was nothing more than just a very, very wet workstation, and glistening greasy patties.
A hop skip and a jump later and Winter came back out, with two sodas and two dressed up, fat, juicy looking ‘Meteor Drops’ glazed with this ‘Winter Sauce’ that looked like absolutely nothing.
“Uhhhhhh…. Where’s the sauce?” Fang asked, very confused.
“Yeah. I was hoping for something more fitting for its name. Like… being white?” Anon added. “I mean it looks like there’s nothing!”
Winter held up one finger and smiled. “Don’t knock it till you try it! This is 65 Million Years in the making!”
Fang just stared at him with this deadpan look. “Really? God I already have to deal with one dweeb. Now how much does it cost?”
The wannabe Russian slapped his hand across the cashier as $7.35 popped up on the bar. “Seven thirty-five missy! Now would that be cash or credit?!”
Anon reached into his pocket to pull out his wallet. “I got this.”
The ptero girl cocked her brow at the human. “Wait, you’re paying for me too?”
“Why not? I brought you here and it's the least I can do.”
“Aw, Anon you didn’t have to do that. I would have paid for my own food,” and then she grinned mischievously. “Oh not that I mind though. I rather liked having you pay for me.”
“Oh don’t you make it a habit. This place is cheap but I don’t make a habit of coming here all the time.”
After paying for the meal, the two took the nearest booth they could find. Preferably one that was directly beneath one of the AC vents, with Fang and Anon sitting across one another. It was a rather large burger now that Fang had the moment to process its size. She had this concerned look to her eyes that said; ‘fuck would I be able to fit this in my mouth?’
She looked up at Anon. “You never told me they were this big.”
“I said they were the fattest fucking patties for a reason.”
“Ever had their ‘Winter Sauce?”
Anon shook his head. “First time I’m trying them now actually. I almost had a very bad thought that they weren’t exactly the kind of ‘sauce’ that we saw. But I’m glad I was wrong.”
She cocked an eyebrow at that. “What did you thi-”
“Shut up and let's eat!” Anon exclaimed before biting into his burger.
As he did, a cascade of flavors came washing over him. His taste buds were fucking exploding! There was this delectable taste of spicy and sweetness to it. Not sugar-like sweetness but something that was more or less honey flavored. The kind of shit that beats Ptero Chang’s ‘sweet n’ spicy chicken’ any day.
It was as though he stood in between a vast brazen desert with the sun assaulting his body, and a mountainous icy hellscape of a screeching, twisting blizzard. From above, a massive ball of ice and fire came bearing down over him-a comet! It was absolute nirvana!
He looked around, hoping he’d spot Fang somewhere in this chaotic fever dream of a food high. And sure enough, there she was, having taken a big bite out of her burger. Her eyes were glistening with a tint of orange-redness. And better yet, she was flying!
They looked at each other, mouths full of drool from excessive savoring of their burger. And slowly drawn close to one another as they clasp their hands together. They closed up to each other, eyes gleaming brightly, as though they were itching toward a kiss.
“This is the best burger I’ve ever tasted in my entire life…” they both muttered to each other in unison.
The comet continued its collision course to the surrealist world of patty paradise. Before it could even touch Anon and Fang, the two were brought back into reality by Winter, patting at both of their legs. They found themselves standing atop of the dining table, being watched by a couple dozen onlookers. Except for the other human and purple saurian who looked like they had also experienced a moment of nirvana.
“Hey bros, I know ya’ll like my burgers and sauce and everything like that but… can you stand down from there? I just cleaned those tables.”