# What If Chapter 4

Chapter 4
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It was at least an hour before Anon could peel himself off the floor, the smell of what he had done finally becoming too much for even his numbed senses. A roll of paper towels and some cleaning spray from the move took care of the mess on the floor, Anon moping up his sick with stiff, robotic movements. He felt worse than numb; he felt dead, like a part of him had been murdered back at the pub. Lucy’s words ran over and over in his head, a echoing symphony of “piece of shit” and “who means NOTHING to me” playing on repeat in his head, punctuated with images of her hand lashing out at him. Again and again and again…
Anon snapped out of his trace, shaking his head a little, realizing he had been scrubbing the same patch of hardwood for minutes now. Back in the kitchen, the soiled paper towels discarded, Anon stood staring at the wall, searching his thoughts for what to do. Something had happened to Lucy, something awful, and she seemed to have forgotten him. Truthfully, she seemed like an entirely different Lucy, so different from the one with whom he had rekindled their relationship a month ago. Could there be anything Anon could do to rekindle that love, to reignite the spark of “them” in her? Anon’s face still stung from the slap she had given him earlier. Was there anything of the Lucy he knew in that woman?
“No. Wherever she is, Lucy is Lucy, and I love her,” Anon said to himself, out loud. “No matter what it takes, I’m going to win her back.” His stomach growled in agreement, reminding Anon that he hadn’t kept anything down that day. Smiling, Anon moved to the bathroom to clean himself up, remembering that there was a convenience store half a block down. “Food first, win her back later,” He said, catching his reflection in the mirror before nodding. Nothing was going to keep him from the woman he loved, not even the woman herself.
A freshly-cleaned Anon stepped out of his apartment building, his new shirt free of any vomit-stains. Despite everything that had occurred, Anon felt… confident. Maybe it was his little pep-talk he gave himself in the kitchen beforehand, or maybe it was the semblance of a plan that was forming in his head, but Anon no longer felt lost, betrayed by what had occurred. Whomever Lucy was now, whatever had happened, Anon would set it right. The streets were quiet this time of night, only a handful of others walking home in the cold autumn night, but Anon met each gaze with a smile and a nod, hoping that any confidence he projected outward would help sustain the confidence he felt within himself.
It took only a few minutes to reach the convenience store, a small Din-o-Mart situated on the corner of the block. The large neon sign displayed a smiling cartoon dinosaur eating snack by the handful, illuminating the huddled figure of a pan-handler crouched near the door of the mart. He and Lucy had grabbed some dino-nuggies here the night before, eating them out of the bag, laughing at the mess. Anon smiled at the memory as he walked to the door, trying not to make eye contact with the dirty pink raptor sitting next to an overladen shopping cart.
“Like, spare some change, dude?” A voice from the past riveted Anon to the spot. It couldn’t be, could it? He always claimed to be the richest raptor in the world… Turning his head to face the man, Anon’s eyes widened in shock. Crouched low on his heels was Reed, filthy hand held out expectantly, bloodshot eyes gazing up at Anon.
“Reed? Shit, man, is that you?” Anon crouched next to the man, his nose wrinkling. “What happened, man? Lucy and I just saw you the other day, you said you had a gig lined up!” Reed’s glassy eyes stared back at Anon as the question hung in the air, his obviously fried brain attempting to put the signals together.
“Dude, is that Anon? Broooo, I haven’t seen you since high-school! Gimme a hug, my man!” Despite his drugged-out stupor (or perhaps because of it), Reed’s old personality shone through as he and Anon stood up, embracing one another. “Man, it’s been, like, what, five years bro? How you been?!” Reed’s smile was infectious, and despite all that happened Anon found himself happy to have meet a familiar face, albeit in a strange location.
“I’m fine, Reed. Lucy’s… We had some… Look, when was the last time you’ve seen Lucy?” Anon unconsciously wiped his hands on his jacket, attempting to clean the filth from Reed’s back off of them. Something from Trish’s diatribe earlier today tickled Anon’s mind as he smiled at Reed. Trish had described Lucy as someone totally different, and he chalked it up to just another trig-out, but if Reed could confirm his suspicions… “She’s not been herself lately and I just wanted to know if you’ve talked to her.”
“Lucy… Lucy…” Anon waited patient for Reed’s drug-addled brain to make the connection, hoping he wouldn’t have to prompt him too much during the conversation. “Oh, you mean Fang! Man I haven’t seen her in a looooong time, bro. Ever since she, like, killed the band, we kinda went separate ways. Me, I’ve been investing in some various ventures, doing a little “hedge-fund” management, if you catch my drift…” Reed winked one bloodshot eye, the pupils of his other one intermittently dilating and expanding seemingly at random. Anon wondered what he was on now, if it was safe. “Anyways, bro, real shame what happened between you and Fang. I heard about it from, like, Trish, right? Suuuper hard, bro, what you said to them. You gotta’ put others first, sometimes, ya’ dig?” Reed attempted to clap Anon on the shoulder, missing by a few inches to the left and stumbling slightly.
“Look, Reed, I don’t know what Trish told you in the past, but Lu… Fang and I are cool now, okay? In fact, I was hoping you could help me out, I want to surprise her at work tomorrow night, but I can’t remember where she plays, do you know?” Anon hoped his voice didn’t sound too desperate. It was a long shot, asking someone in Reed’s condition for help, but Reed often saw things others didn’t see. Anon smiled again, thinking of all the times Reed had helped him out in his relationship with Fang. No, damnit, she was Lucy. Lucy!
“Nah, not Lucy, man, Fang. Like I said, I haven’t seen them in a while, but, like, I know I’ve heard their song a few times at this pizza place down the street, Clawfino’s? Ya’ know, that one and you and they wrote in high-school? That song’s like, super deep man…” Reed wavered slightly, as if all of the sudden his legs were straining to support his weight. “Hey, bro, do you think you could, catch me? It hella’ hurts when I fall, dude.”
“Wah… Reed, you okay man? Reed!” Reed had become even more unstable, swaying back and forth like a drunk attempting to walk the line, before collapsing heavily to the side. Anon barely managed to catch Reed in time, slowing his descent enough that Anon didn’t think Reed’s head was too injured by the concrete. Raising one eyelid and then another, Anon could see Reed’s pupils were almost entirely gone, just a small pinprick of black showing in his purple eyes. A small amount of foam had startled to collect in the corner of Reed’s mouth.
“Shit, Reed, can you hear me?! REED! Fuck, call an ambulance, quick!” The manager of the Din-o-Mart had come to see what the commotion was, no doubt ready to banish the homeless vagrant from her store’s entrance. At Anon’s instance the woman began dialing 9-1-1, the begrudging look in her eyes telling that she didn’t really care what happened to Reed, so long as he didn’t die outside her store.
Anon continued to cradle Reed in his arms, feeling his friend’s body begin to spasm slightly. Calling out his name once more, Anon could hear the wail of the siren approaching, thankful that the hospital wasn’t too far away.
“Reed, they’re almost here bro, hang in there! Reed? REED!” Reed had gone suddenly limp, the spasms halting almost as soon as they had begun. It didn’t seem like Reed was breathing anymore. “Damnit, Reed, NO! I’m not going to lose you too, bro, hang in there, please!” As Anon attempted to shake his longtime friend back into consciousness, he could feel just how emaciated Reed was beneath those baggy rags, could feel the scabs that festooned Reed’s hands and arms as he held him close, tears welling up once more.
The ambulance had pulled up to the curb, the EMT’s quickly prying Reed out of Anon’s arms, attempting to resuscitate him on the sidewalk. They said they had to get Reed to the hospital, and fast, and before they could protest Anon had jumped into the ambulance with them.
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He had already almost lost someone he cared about today. Reed wasn’t going to be the second.