# Anon And Naser - Casual Racism

Title: Anon And Naser - Casual Racism
Status: Complete
Characters: Anon, Naser
Rating: SFW
Classification: One Shot
Author: Anonymous
​
“Look, all I’m say is that historically, a lot of your people lived in caves! I don’t know why you’re so upset, Anon.”
​
Anon and Naser push through the lunch line, several people shooting uncomfortable glances towards the track captain. Anon tries his best to grit his teeth, once again having to explain things to Naser.
​
“Look, Naser, just because a stereotype exists for a reason doesn’t make it okay to say! You calling me a ‘cave-dweller’ just because my ancestors lived in a cave doesn’t make it right, bro.”
​
“Ugh, I’ll never understand you people.” The one-winged racist grabs a tray for himself and Anon, slowly shuffling through the line of assembled student. “First, we’ve all got to sit through ‘Skinne history month’, then-“
​
“It’s HUMAN history month, Naser.”
​
“Whatever. Then, after you’ve got a whole month for yourselves, you decide that we can’t bring up the past anymore. I mean, what’s up with that?” Naser grabbed Anon a slice of pizza; actually, the last slice of pizza. He may be racist, but he looks out for his friends, at least.
​
“Naser, try to see it from my perspective. Would you want everyone going around spreading harmful stereotypes about you, no matter how innocent? Ignorance isn’t an excuse for that kind of stuff, man.” The two of them had reached the end of the lunch line, the unobservant staffer behind the register barely looking up from their magazine.
​
“I mean, I’m not like, calling you a ‘spear-chucker’ or anything, it’s just some banter man, lighten’ up. Nah, I got this man.” Naser handed the cashier a stack of bills, waving away Anon’s attempt to pay for himself. Anon gripped the sides of his plastic lunch tray harder. Somehow, Naser’s combination of seemingly casual racism was made all the worse by his insistent good deeds. Sure, Anon was thankful, but did Naser have to act like he did? “Besides, it’s a good thing! You people invented tools, brought us fire, loads of cool stuff!”
​
The unlikely pair took a seat in the crowded lunchroom. Anon could only glare at Naser as he continued his diatribe around mouthfuls of his chicken parm. “So what if I bring up some of that stuff every once and a while? I don’t mean anything of it!”
​
“That’s just it Naser, you not meaning anything doesn’t mean it doesn’t mean something to me!” Anon gestured angrily at his companion with his pizza, flicking specks of grease across the table.
​
Swallowing, Naser looked Anon straight in the eye. “Okay, I didn’t understand any of that stuff,” he intoned, causing Anon to crash his head into the table in exasperation. “Look, I’m sorry if I offended you man, I’ll like, buy you a Christmas present to make up for it, I promise.” Naser reached over to give Anon what was probably meant to be a consoling pat on the shoulder. To Anon, it was just condescending.
​
“Doesn’t Naomi get on you for this, Naser? You’d think she would want you to watch what you say.” Anon settled back to his meal, attempting to discover the root of Naser’s offensive sentiments.
​
“Nah, she doesn’t care. Fuck, she says wayyyy worse things when we’re alone. Man, you should’ve heard her this one time, Naser continued between bouts of laughter. “She said, ‘if they’re so smart, why didn’t they evolve some thicker skin!” Naser slapped the table, nearly doubling-over with laughter. “Evolve! Skin! Classic…”
​
“Look, Naser, it doesn’t make me feel good when you say those things! It really doesn’t make me want to be your friend, either. Naser, Jesus man I’m serious! I’m being serious over here, and you’re laughing!” Naser’s shoulders still quaked at his evolution joke, and no matter how hard he tried to somber up under Anon’s angry glare, he couldn’t help but burst out laughing.
​
“Pfft hahahaha! Okay, okay, I’m good, sorry Anon. Whew, just hits you sometimes, ya’know?” Naser finally calmed down, wiping a tear from his eye as he returned to his food. For a moment, the two of them ate in silence, each man intent on the food in front of them.
​
“Damn, this chicken is already cold.” Naser gave his chicken parm another questing poke with his spork.
​
“Serves you right, for what you said.” Anon replied, tearing another bite of his pizza off.
​
“Yeah… Anon, you mind building me a fire to warm this up? I’m kidding, I’m kidding!” Naser had to reach out to grab Anon’s sleeve to prevent him from storming off, laughing all the while as he pulled his human friend back to the table. “Look, no more human jokes, I promise, okay?” Anon stood there, glowering back at Naser’s innocent face for a moment before huffily sitting back down.
​
“Fine. But no more human jokes, or cracks about fire, or tools, or any of that shit!” Naser held up his hands, palms outward in the universal sign of surrender. Their truce was temporary, however, as Naser just couldn’t help himself.
​
“So, monkey jokes are still on?”
​
“That’s it!” Anon slammed his hands on the table, sending their lunch trays bouncing as Naser erupted into laughter. “Go ahead, make your funny little racist jokes. That’s cool. You wanna know why, Naser?
​
“Because you’ve evolved past them?” More laughter from the dino, more scowling from the human.
​
“Because I have something you’ll never have, something that your sister seems very interested in.” Anon’s emphasis on ‘sister’ made Naser shut up quickly. Leaning over the table, Anon got real close to his would-be-friend, letting the silence drag on for a moment. “Yeah, that’s right. You wanna know what Fang likes about me?”
​
“…What?”
​
“My HOT. MONKEY. DICK! That’s right, I’ve been FUCKING your sister in a way you scalie SHITS could never do!” Anon was shouting at this point, all eyes in the lunch room on him. “You wanna know what girls like, Naser? A nice smooth human cock! In fact, I’m gonna go find Fang and FUCK her with it right now!” With that, Anon stormed off from the table, kicking the lunchroom doors open with a clatter.
​
Naser just sat there, silently matching the stares from the other students. One by one they turned back, eager to move on from the embarrassing scene. No one was close enough to hear Naser whisper, however.
​
“At last, the family bloodline is secured.”