# Story Five - Another Moment In Human History

It was a calm before the storm just like any other day. Soon, students would fill the halls of Volcano High and the hustle and bustle of everyday high school life would commence. Lucy was in the music classroom, getting the last of her papers in order for the upcoming day. The creak of the door grabbed her attention, as Anon walked in and shot her a smile, adopting the same standing pose principal Spears used to be in, arms behind his lower back, puffing his chest out.
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"Good morning, Mrs. Mous." oh, what a massive dweeb, she thought. He always acted so stupidly bipolar in school, switching from ultra-professional to casual to lovey-dovey within the blink of an eye with her.
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"Good morning, Mr. Principal." she smugly shot back. "Hadn't we met just minutes ago? Is something the matter?"
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"Just checking in on my fellow faculty members, nothing important."
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Lucy noticed he was acting kind of excited. She wondered if he had a present for her, or if he was planning another stupid prank of his.
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"Well, if it isn't important, I still have my classes to prepare. Surely you also have some business to attend to." The playfulness in her voice was very obvious.
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"That I do, that I do...Well, I will leave you to it. Have a good day." and with that, he exits the room.
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'Dork. What was that for?' she thought, shaking her head, but smiling nonetheless.
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Sometime later, Students were sitting in their seats, doing the assignment she had just given out to them. 'History of string instruments.' A classic.
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Passes the time just like any other assignment. Lucy was leaning back in her chair, watching the class for any miscreants or disturbances, but also for any student who seemed to be having a particularly hard time. The crackling of the PA system soon snapped everyone out of their concentration.
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"ATTENTION STUDENTS!"
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Lucy's view snapped to the speaker like she was expecting Anon to stand there. The booming voice coming out of it was slightly distorted, as the equipment had problems keeping up with the volume of his voice.
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"THERE WILL BE A PRESENTATION TODAY IN THE AUDITORIUM!"
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What? There was nothing like that on the curriculum for this semester, and he hadn't mentioned anything like that to her before.
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"NOTE THAT THIS PRESENTATION IS MANDATORY FOR ALL STUDENTS OF ALL GRADE LEVELS! MISSING THE PRESENTATION WITHOUT A SIGNED EXCUSE IS GROUNDS FOR SUSPENSION!"
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That was a bit extreme. Lucy wondered if a student had done something monumentally stupid and needed to hold this presentation to make up for it.
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"THE PRESENTATION WILL BE TAKING PLACE AT THE END OF FIFTH PERIOD, DIRECTLY BEFORE LUNCH! SEE YOU THEN!"
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And that was all. The crackle of the intercom indicating the message was over. Sure enough, the entire classroom was quickly filled with confused students asking all sorts of questions. "What was this presentation about?", "What made it so important to attend?", "Does he really have to yell every time?"
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Guess the answers will come when the assembly starts.
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The clock struck 11:30, time for this 'presentation' Anon had planned and to see what he was up to.
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"Alright class, remember, we're ending class early today for the school-wide assembly. Please make your way to the auditorium and don't be late." Lucy said, and students filed out of the classroom, still discussing what this presentation was about amongst themselves. Lucy gave a glance through the room to make sure nobody forgot anything, then left as well and locked the door.
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The auditorium was packed full of students. While the room was large and meant for crowds and shows, it was never meant to hold the entirety of the student body at once. Students were struggling to find space, and teachers were randomly dispersed through the crowd, clearly locked where they ended up when they entered. The stage was empty, but the projector screen was down, displaying a bright, deep blue ready screen with "No input signal" written in white text.
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Almost on the dot of 11:45, the doors to the auditorium were locked and the lights dimmed. No backing out now. A piece of strange music began playing. A faint guitar strums backing what sounded like bongos and sticks being banged together, and the background noise of a jungle scene could be heard. Birds singing, wind rushing through treetops. Tribal in nature, but not unpleasant. It sounded familiar, she heard that before somewhere... But before she had time to think, the text "Principal Anon's guide to human history" appeared on the screen.
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"Oh no..." Lucy furrowed her brow, the rest of the students looking around confused at what was transpiring.
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And then a naked human man, wearing nothing but an orange loincloth with black spots walked on stage with a wide gait, holding himself slightly hunched over. He dropped a duffle bag on the stage as he grabbed brought a microphone up to his face. Lucy could only helplessly watch as her husband embarrassed himself in front of everybody.
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"Hello learners, me Anon, caveman. Me here teach you human history," he said, with a deepened voice and fake-stupid inflection. The slide on the projection changed to a crudely dawn caveman with a spear. Did he draw these himself?
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"Many cycles ago, man and dino hate other. Man hunt dino, dino eat man, life good." The slide changes to a man next to a fire, a crude cloud with a yellow line striking a tree. "Man discover fire, gain advantage to dino." the next slide showed the same, but next to it, a human holding a torch, chasing away a fleeing dino. "Dino learn respect man, man dino relation stronger." Stronger? Did my idiot husband just say he preferred the days of the species wars, or did he just blurt out some human-supremacist propaganda?
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The next slide showed a caveman next to another, the only difference was one had two giant circles for a chest. "Man love woman, make many caveman." Next was an image of various cavemen, the one next to the 'woman' visibly looking the best, having a triangle for a body, was a head taller, and had a student graduation cap on his head. "Breed selectively, cavemen selected by how look, how strength, how think." the next slide showing a stock image of an ape's various stages slowly evolving into a modern human. "Over time, man breed from cave. Then, man breed from hut. Finally, today-man breed upright, in house." That was an oddly specific choice of phrase. Lucy wondered if he was referring to their love life but, judging by the look on everyones faces, nobody seemed to make the connection.
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Until the next slide showed a photo of them, kissing during their wedding. "Man still do today, many choices, pick best mate."
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Lucy's cheeks flushed red, and she didn't know if she should feel embarrassed, enamored, or just enraged at the display. Holding a hand in front of her eyes and peeking through the fingers, she dreaded the next slide. The auditorium was now filling with audible chatter. Oh he better now go any further than this! He better not show...
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The room darkens for a minute and the music changed. The rhythm picking up in tempo, woodwind instruments joining the melody, and the chirping of birds subsided, but the style and sound were clearly meant to invoke a similar setting. The next slide showed a crudely drawn medieval town. Anon now stood more upright, as well as wearing a suit jacket and monocle. "Man learn talk good, make community, community strong together." and the slide progresses to a similar crude image of a city. "Man make bigger community, man strong." Lucy was just happy the 'family photo' session seemed to be avoided but was anxious at what might come next. So far, this all sounded like very pro-human propaganda, but she guessed it is supposed to focus on the 'human' side of history. He flipped through the next couple slides while talking, showing a variety of human inventions, such as the wheel, the first light bulb, a gun, a Pachystation 2 videogame console… “Man make ancient tool to live better, man further advantage over dino."
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A drawn picture of a bunch of humans fighting a small group of dinos, the humans all in brightly colored uniforms and a tight square formation. "Man strong together, man defeat dinos in stick fight." but those were clearly not sticks, or spears, or swords. Muskets... Indeed the use of gunpowder weaponry leveled the playing field. Dinos used to enjoy the advantage of natural armor and weapons, as well as some physical advantages, but guns became the great equalizer. But..." the next slide showed a dino crudely evolving into the modern form of a dino-person. "...Dino also evolve. Dino become like man. Small, think good, still have claw and tooth."
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A barely decipherable picture of a man meeting a dino and shaking its hand can be seen. "Man and dino agree, work together. Man and dino equal, but no." a crude depiction of a dino holding leashes to some sad-looking, shackled humans. "Dino say better man, make man do work for dino. Make man sad."
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The next picture was a well-known photo. A young, human activist, throwing a rock at a line of Police-dinos during the human rights riots. It became a title image and headliner for various newspapers and documentaries about the period, as moments later, the young human lay dead in the street. It was a powerful picture, a moment of defiance against oppression, even against the odds. "Soon man fight back, say as good as dino, dino need respect man." various photos of politicians and representatives shaking hands. "Many cycles later, dino respect man once more. Man free again." Now, various photos of humans and dinos working together. "Man and dino work together, find many things shared. Both like sport," a picture of the first dino-human Olympics, then various sports team events. “Both like the good eat," a collage of various, well-prepared foods.
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‘Oh no… Don't say sex, don't say sex, don't say sex.' kept repeating in Lucy's head. The dread of infinite embarrassment was emerging. 'Please, have picked one of the more tasteful images, please.'
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The next shot was a family photo again, taken just a couple of weeks ago, depicting Lucy's parents on the left, Anon on the right, and Lucy in the center, holding their daughter Amber in her arms, all smiling. “Both like family..."
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Anon was looking straight at her. And after releasing the breath she didn't know she was holding, she was also staring right at him. There were a lot of turned heads, looking both at her and then back at Anon in succession. She was bright red at this point but smiling at least, and her eyes were glistening more and more with the tears starting to well up in them. The next slides were various dinos and humans, working together, interacting, or just hanging out in the school and Volcaldera. Anon stepped forward to the center of the stage. "Now human and dino happy, both work together, set aside spear and claw, good friends."
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And the final slide just read 'Thank you!' in big bold letters on a white background. "Thank you for ear, learners. Enjoy rest of cycle, eat much good food, make many friends."
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The room was quiet, many seemed to process what they had just witnessed. Many were visibly confused. But as Anon left the stage, applause erupted, some whistling was heard. Lucy was smiling, looking at the floor. He did it once again. Embarrassed her with his antics. This dumb, human dweeb.
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This dumb human she loved so much. As everyone was exiting the auditorium, Lucy was pondering what to do about this situation. Some passing students shot her cheers of approval, some of the faculty staff gave her pats on the shoulder.
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He wasn't going to get away with it scot-free this time, oh no. But at least he also earned himself a kiss for his efforts.