# Milhouse And Stacy - The Shitpost Of A Lifetime

Title: Milhouse And Stacy - The Shitpost Of A Lifetime
Status: Complete
Characters: Milhouse, Stacy
Rating: SFW
Classification: One Shot
Author: Anonymous
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Milhouse sat on the steps of the school, watching the sun set over the hills of Volcaldera, head in hands. Those assholes, the ones who always picked on him, had stolen his bus fare, and he had no other choice but to wait for his mom to pick him up, like some sort of loser. Sighing, Milhouse scrubbed his eyes with the back of his hands, a hand already wet with tears.
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“Well, I AM a loser, I guess… Why does no one like me?!” He mumbled to himself, wallowing in his despair.
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“Uhh, maybe it’s because you, like, talk to yourself?”
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A voice behind him made Milhouse jump. Scrambling to his feet, hands half-raised automatically in self-defense, Milhouse couldn’t believe it: It was Stacy! Head the cheerleading squad, leader of the Spirit Club, and all-around school bimbo, Stacy was the last person Milhouse expected to stumble over him.
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“What are you doing here, Stacy?” Milhouse’s voice was tight, cold with resentment. Stacy represented everything he hated in school: The popular, the pretty, the successful. It irked him how Stacy always coasted through her classes, seemingly more interested in how she was dressed than what the teachers were saying. Somehow, she always managed to scrape together a passing grade. ‘Probably by sleeping with the teacher’, Milhouse added to himself.
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“Like, what does it look like I’m doing, geek?” Stacy gestured to herself, to the cheerleading outfit she was wearing. Oh yeah, it was so late now, practice must’ve gotten let out… Face reddening, Milhouse couldn’t help but cast his gaze up and down Stacy’s body, telling himself he was just looking at her uniform. Stacy was built like a brick shithouse, with a huge rack and massive ass that barely squeeze into her tiny cheerleading outfit. Her cleavage alone could consume his entire face, and there wasn’t a guy in school who hadn’t dreamed about being suffocated between those huge tits.
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“I heard those guys, like, stole your money or something.” Stacy’s voice snapped Milhouse out of his thoughts. For once, the youth was glad of his baggy hand-me-downs he wore to school. “That was, like, suuuuuuuper lame of them.”
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Milhouse favored her with a guarded look, one eyebrow raised. Why was she being nice to him? Stacy never said anything to Milhouse, despite the fact they sat right next to each other in class, next to that weird albino goth girl.
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“What’s it to you, Stacy? Looking for some poor sap to pay for your next shopping trip?” Not caring about the acid in his voice, Milhouse resumed his staring off into the sunset, settling back down on the top step. “Just leave me alone, okay?” Glancing over his shoulder, Milhouse could see Stacy hadn’t made any move to go, the big-titty airhead cocking her head to study him.
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“Ugh, you’re such a loser! Listen, I, like, wanted to do something nice for you, so are you gonna’ let me, or what?” Stacy replied frostily, eyes narrowing. Milhouse felt his stomach drop at once, his eyes averting in shame.
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“Man, I’m sorry Stacy. Those guys just pissed me off.” Milhouse could feel himself blushing: This was the longest he had talked to a girl who he wasn’t related to, let alone the school fuckdoll. “What was it that you wanted, Stacy?”
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Rolling her eyes, Stacy let her gym-bag drop to the stoop, pulling her hair back into a loose ponytail. “See, that’s, like, everyone picks on you, Milhouse. You take everything so personal.” From…somewhere in her cleavage Stacy had pulled out a tube of lipstick, the pastel green contrasting nicely with the red stripe running down the middle of her face. “You just gotta’, like, let loose.”
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“Wait, wha-“ Milhouse turned back to her, totally bewildered by what she was saying. Before he could finish his thought, though, Stacy leaned over, her massive breasts, each easily larger than Milhouse’s head, hanging pendulously beneath her chest. Unable to stare at anything else, Milhouse’s gaze was fixed on Stacy’s ponderous titflesh. Fuck, was that a beauty-mole peeking out of her shirt?!
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Slowly, Stacy raised Milhouse’s face to her own, leading the entranced teenager by one long-nailed finger under his chin. “My eyes are, like, up here, big boy.” Her bitchy bimbo voice was gone, replace by a sultry tone that tented Milhouse’s pants even more. Slowly, Stacy lowered her lips the final interceding inches, planting a wet smack on his forehead, right below his frills.
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“Don’t go, like, shooting up the school, okay Milhouse?” Stacy said, straightening up with a smile. Leaving the paralyzed Milhouse sitting there, a pastel green kiss mark just barely not blending in with his natural scale color, Stacy collected her gym-bag before heading down the stairs, her hips swaying seductively. Eyes draw to her like a moth to a flame, Milhouse could actually see her ass cheeks poking out from under her tiny cheerleading mini-skirt. At the bottom of the stairs Stacy paused, turning back to blow a kiss to Milhouse with a wink, giggling as she sauntered over to her parked car.
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Raising a trembling hand to his forehead, Milhouse felt where Stacy had kissed him, his scales still slightly damp from her kiss.
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“The guys at the AV Club are never gonna’ believe this!