# Catching Butterflies Chapter 8

~Catching Butterflies: Chapter 8 - Finale~
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It's almost an out-of-body experience.
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The sheer amount of information Olivia has passionately delivered to me in the past fifteen minutes leaves me dazed. She's still talking, having gone past the events of the first film and well into an expanded universe that includes books, comics and even video games. I'm not sure how much of this I'll remember, and a ping of guilt from my inability to share her enthusiasm finds its way into my heart. This only distracts me further, but I do my best to remember what I can; Olivia looks like she's having a lot of fun talking about this stuff.
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The discussion is brought to a sudden halt as the NasCar comes to a screeching halt, causing me and Olivia to briefly brace against the front seats. Looking outside of the window, I can see we've lined up behind three other cars, who seem to be waiting for their turn at a ticket booth. Further on, I can spot the parking lot and the massive screen, indicating that-
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"We're here."
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Naser side-eyes the both of us as he says this, apparently unaware that he completely interrupted Olivia's explanation. I look towards her, worried that she'd be upset, but she doesn't seem to be. Her eyes glance over to meet mine.
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Olivia's mouth curls into a smile before she says, "Alright, I'll tell you the rest later."
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It doesn't take long for the cars ahead of us to purchase their tickets, and they continue to pull ahead one by one until it's our turn. Naser rolls down the passenger side window, stares at the console for a few seconds with a confused expression, and then rolls down the driver side window. After a brief chat with the attendant, he graciously pays for the vehicle.
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Clearing his throat, Naser states, "So we're row five, column F."
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His eyes raise from the stub, looking at the expansive lot. My eyes follow, searching around for an indication of where we need to go. Naser audibly groans, shifting into gear and pulling ahead. Rows and columns are indicated by faded white markings on the asphalt, but Naser audibly complains about how difficult they are to see. It takes us a few minutes and about three laps around the lot, but we find our spot. Naser shifts into park, and we begin to wait. I don't know exactly when it'll start, though. Glancing over to Olivia, I notice she's barely suppressing a grin.
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Raising an eyebrow towards her, I ask, "Is something wrong?"
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Giggling, she whispers, "We could've just.. counted the rows. And the columns. Five six, you know?"
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Now that I think about it, that would've been a good idea; it seems so obvious, too. Maybe Naser's presence disrupts normal thinking. That, or I'm just an idiot. Probably the latter. Regardless, Olivia seems to enjoy laughing at our mental failure, and Naser doesn't even notice. He's too busy evaluating the few cars around us, it looks like.
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Another few minutes of waiting, and another problem becomes apparent; Olivia and I are seated in the back, making it difficult for us to see the screen through the NasCar's windshield. The three of us end up bickering for a minute or two about who should get the passenger seat, before Olivia suggests we just roll the windows down and watch it outside. It takes some convincing for Naser to agree to the idea, but he does agree. Only a few minutes later, Olivia sits comfortably in her wheelchair while Naser and I lean against the hood of the NasCar.
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We're in luck, it seems, as the pre-movie ads finally come to a close and we're met with the title card for the movie, ALIENS. The segment is ominous, and the tension is already getting to me. The introduction features a woman in some sort of pod being transported on a spaceship, only to be saved by suited figures after docking with a larger ship.
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The sounds of Olivia's wheelchair approaching overshadows the audio, and I turn my head to see that she's positioned herself next to me as best as she can. She leans towards me, not taking her eyes off the screen.
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Her low voice whispers in my ear, "The director had a lot of trouble getting the original model for the drop ship from the first movie, but a private collector had bought the set pieces from the original and loaned them out for the sequel for free."
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Olivia still does not make eye contact with me as she stares forward. With a bit of hesitation, I turn back to continue watching.
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More scenes of dialogue play out as the main character talks to several others about the presence of alien creatures in a derelict ship she had just escaped from. Olivia's exposition on the ride over included the plot details of the first movie, so I have a general understanding of what she's talking about. Suddenly, my attention is caught again by the presence of Olivia awfully close to me.
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Another low whisper fills my ears; "They actually had a lot of trouble getting the original actor for the main character to return, because she didn't want to ruin the legacy of the original movie. The director had to let her go over the script to convince her to do it."
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I glance between her and the screen, blurting out a 'Cool.' as the interjection steals my focus away. I don't want to be rude, but it's hard to focus when she does that. Regardless, I quickly find myself re-oriented. The main character is convinced by a corporate representative and a military man to investigate a lost colony, under the condition that they exterminate any alien creatures found there. She's introduced to several more marines, and a-
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"During production, they shot a lot of the early scenes with the Colonial Marines last, so the actors during those scenes would already know each other and make the sense of camaraderie between them more believable."
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My annoyed sigh catches the attention of Olivia, who briefly turns her head to look at me.
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I tell her, "It's hard to pay attention when you do that."
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She nods her head in response, a frown forming across her face as she mutters an apology. I didn't mean to sound harsh, but before I can make any attempt at consoling her, an intense scene in the film interrupts me. With every passing second, the possibility of correcting myself becomes more distant, until it eventually fades away in the pace of the movie. I hate this feeling, of opportunity slipping away. I create my own problems, and refuse to follow even solutions blatantly offered to me by fate. Life passes me by, and I do nothing about it, even when I want to. I can't tell if there's something wrong with me, something fundamentally broken, or if these are just the crocodile tears of an asshole cursed with just enough guilt to feel bad about himself. For some reason, I don't think I want to know. I guess it's easier to pretend nothing's wrong.
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Hoping to distance myself from the metaphorical pain of this atmosphere, I raise my head to search for a bathroom. To our right, I notice a few standing buildings, one of which could be my destination. I unseat myself from the hood of the vehicle and set off, not bothering to look at Olivia as I pass in front of her. She'll probably be able to share her trivia easier if I'm gone, anyway.
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I pass several cars in my journey, only getting a couple upset looks from patrons as I walk in front of their vehicles. Eventually, I reach the first of three buildings, though a sign designates this as an 'administration' building. Walking by it, I reach the second building in the row, the smell of popcorn filling my nose. Nobody is here right now, save for an exhausted looking teenager behind the counter who doesn't even glance at me as I walk by the concession stand. Finally, the third building in the row is marked as 'Restrooms'. I pass a dark pterosaur speaking rather loudly on a cell phone as I push open the d-
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Wait. I spin around, double taking at the sight. Much to my surprise, Naser stands off to the side of the building, impatiently trying to calm down a loud voice on the other end of a call. I hesitate and stare in his direction as he gently yet firmly ends the call, much to the dismay of the person on the other end, if the crying is anything to go by. He glances around after doing so, and spots me staring at him.
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To break the awkwardness, I ask, "Who was that on the phone?"
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Naser frowns, replying, "She's my, or used to be my.. well, it's complicated. Don't worry about it."
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I give an empathetic nod, staving off silence by replying with, "Yeah.. girlfriends, huh?"
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Naser nods in response. He stuffs his hands into his jacket pockets, a disappointed frown forming on his beak. My mind tells me to leave, to use the restroom and return to solitude, but I stay. Casually leaning against the wall of the building, I remain in Naser's presence so he's not alone. He joins me in leaning against the concrete wall, and we spend the next minute or two in silence together. There's no audio, but I can still see the massive screen from here; it looks like people exploring an abandoned sci-fi town.
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"Y'know.." Naser says, "Speaking of girlfriends, you and Olivia.."
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I feel my cheeks burn as I stare at him. A shit-eating grin paints his face as he raises his eyebrows at me.
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"I don't know." I respond, "Things are kind of weird between us, and right now I don't-"
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Naser's laughing voice interrupts me; "C'mooon, you're at a movie together! This is the perfect time!"
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"Dude. It's a gore-y horror movie." I reply, dejected. "Besides, I don't even really know how I feel about her."
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Naser puffs his chest out; "It's now or never, dude. Here, lemme give you some pointers. First off, girls love it when you let them talk. Whenever she says anything, wait until she's finished. Second, be very careful about physical contact unless she initiates it. Once she does, you can go all out; they always want more than they're willing to try and get. Third, don't.. uh.."
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His voice trials off. I stand there, narrowly staring as he looks toward the ground contemplatively. Did he forget what his next 'pointer' was?
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Eventually, he just sighs; "Look, just.. whatever you think about Olivia, be honest about it with her. Really, I think it'd help you both.. and she's always been an understanding person."
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His new words ring unexpectedly true in my mind, leaving me in a daze as I meditate on their meaning. I don't understand myself, how can anybody else understand me? If I can't read myself even being me, how can I expect anybody else to do it from the outside? I understand this, but.. nobody really seems to care the few times I have tried. If anyone would, though.. Naser's right. Olivia would.
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Coming out of my trance, I look at Naser, who stares at me with a gentle smile on his face. Our eyes meet, and I feel a genuine connection with the ptero.
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"T-Thanks, Naser." I reply, with a newfound sense of purpose.
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He merely nods and motions me away. As I begin to wander away from the building, I realize that Olivia must be all alone right now. I didn't mean to do that to her.. but all I can do now is apologize. I march right back through the line of cars, upsetting more occupants as I step in front of their view of the big screen. As I approach the NasCar, I see Olivia sitting alone in her wheelchair, a frown painted across her face as she stares forward. I take my original spot leaning on the hood of Naser's car, but Olivia doesn't even glance at me. Naser was right; I guess it's now or never.
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"H-Hey, Olivia." I start, swallowing. "I'm sorry for getting upset at you."
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Her head turns, and she looks at me with the same gaze she had while staring blankly at the screen.
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"N-No, it was my fault. I shouldn't have bothered you."
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"Seriously Olivia, I.. admire your enthusiasm about this stuff. I wish I could get as excited as you about.. anything, but you help me get somewhere."
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Olivia's expression finally shifts from a defeated frown to a concerned one; "W-Wait, what do you mean by that?"
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I bite my lip in response. The words roll around in my head, echoing several times over one another, a confused cacophony of thoughts and expressions. I clutch my head with a hand, a headache forming from sheer sensory overload.
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This is it. I take a deep breath, opening the gates of my soul and letting every word in my mind tumble out in a nonstop pour. Sometimes frustrated, sometimes bitter, sometimes sad.. but all of it the truth.
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"Olivia.. I've always had trouble doing much of anything. I don't really have any hobbies, besides ones that waste time or let me forget the world in private. I'm.. afraid to care about things, afraid to show other people what I care about, because it's all so strange and weird, and I don't want anybody to judge me. I'm.. unreadable, I'm reserved, I do my best to be some stoic hero to earn other people's respect. And that works, kind of, but.. it's lonely. I want to be normal.. b-because normal people aren't like this, they don't doubt themselves constantly.. B-But when I try to be normal, I end up being nobody at all. Just.. another actor, another face that can blink in and out of people's lives with no consequence, and I keep doing it because I.. I can't commit to anything, or anyone. I want to care, I just.. can't.
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But then I see you.. and you're so, so unabashedly yourself, that.. it makes me feel a little better. Every time you go off on a tangent about something, or you want to do something dumb just because you can.. I feel like I'm a part of that, like I'm a real person, because I get to share all that with you. I feel.. alive, when I'm around you. I.. need you. I know you probably don't c-"
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As I run out of meaningful words to say and begin the cycle of self-deprecation, my words are interrupted suddenly by Olivia. More specifically, her.. laughing. She's reached a claw up to her snout, failing to suppress a grin as she giggles. For a brief moment, a feeling of utter dread overtakes my soul.
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But her laughter fades, and her hand lowers. Her smile remains, one that dominates her face and eases my fears. She wavers as a sob escapes her, doing her best to remain staring at me with that adorable expression. Her voice cracks, stuttering as she spills her own torrent of words.
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"A-After what happened when we were kids.. I was angry. The accident, the injury, my mom.. none of it was fair. I didn't deserve any of it. I.. lashed out at you, and at a lot of other people. Everybody else I met in school, in public, in life.. they could never look past me being like this. It was all anybody ever talked about.. asking me if I needed help, if I needed rides, how I shouldn't push myself, what I chould and couldn't do.. Like I was a kid, like I was the same little girl that just got out of the hospital. Like a mental patient, like I needed to be restrained so I couldn't hurt myself. All I've ever wanted.. was to have fun. T-To enjoy things, to get out and.. and make memories."
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Olivia's smile fades into a sickeningly bitter cringe as a bout of tears rolls down her eyes. She slams her fist on the armrest of the wheelchair, causing a clunk of metal from its frame.
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"But all anybody'll let me do is sit here in this STUPID chair! Nobody wants to do anything, nobody wants to be responsible for the 'cripple' when she hurts herself! Every time I want to have fun.. people tell me not to. A-And I want to say 'fuck them all!' and.. and do my own thing, but.. I hate being alone. I can't.. stand it anymore. Even Naser barely puts up with me. T-This weekend was the closest I've ever gotten to.. to capturing what it was like. To be free, to be that little girl again, running around in the woods and catching butterflies.. instead of the one who pushes everyone away, and destroys herself.. and her own family."
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The bitter expression fades, paving way to a teary sadness as the baryonyx clutches the armrests of her wheelchair desperately.
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"S-So how can you say that, that you need me!? Even when I push you away.. you're always there, always trying to make things right! And all I'll ever be able to offer in return is.. some lame movie trivia, and dicking around on a rooftop. I can't do ANYTHING without you, and I can't give you anything.. but you're always there. It doesn't make sense, I don't.. I can't understand it.."
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Her whole body wavers, tears continuing to drip down her cheeks and stain her clothes. I find myself in the same position, barely suppressing my own tears as I stare at the girl I've known all my life. My soul screams at me, and I remain honest to its wishes. Approaching Olivia slowly, I kneel down as close to her as I can, placing a hand on her shoulder in an act of comfort. It isn't long before we pull each other into a hug, despite the positioning.
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Once again, It returns. The same feeling I felt in the hospital this morning. The sense of belonging, of connection, of trust..
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Of love.
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"I-It'll get better.. We'll always have each other, and.. that's what matters, right?" My voice croaks, emotions getting the better of me.
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Olivia only holds me tighter in response.
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Our grips eventually loosen, and we pull away from one another. But this time.. it doesn't leave. Every moment I spend gazing at Olivia fills me with.. peace. The same peace I felt in her arms. Like nothing else in this word matters. Like there's not a single thing that could brea-
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A blood-curdling scream echoes throughout the drive-in theater.
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My head snaps around, trying to locate the sound of the noise, before I finally bother to look up at the massive movie screen. It looks like an alien has burst from the chest of somebody, causing a panic of gunfire amongst the military men exploring some kind of nest. I breath a sigh of relief as I turn my head back towards Olivia, who, despite the tears that still linger on her face, has begun laughing uncontrollably at me.
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"Ahaha! I saw your face, you thought that was REAL! AHAHA-"
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Despite the attack on my sense of reality, I start laughing, too. Normally, I don't laugh at myself.. but the sense of pride that usually stops me from doing so is noticeably absent right now. It is funny, isn't it? Our laughter does die down, leaving us both emotionally devoid from the whiplash.
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Despite this, Olivia speaks; "M-Maybe we should save this.. until after the movie, huh?"
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I grin uncontrollably, nodding in response as I take my spot back against the hood. No need to rush things, after all...
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The movie continues, with high action scenes of marine-versus-alien combat and slower, scarier sections of the main character and a young girl attempting to escape the alien threat. It ultimately ends with the female protagonist destroying the head alien in a one-on-one battle with some sort of cargo robot, expelling it through an airlock and escaping death yet again. I didn't pay all that much attention to it, given the current circumstances, but I did enjoy the pulpy action and tension that it managed to express through its score and cinematography. As the credits roll, I conclude that I liked it. Olivia, however, was practically shaking in her chair for the entire playtime, clearly engaged on a deeper level than I could ever be. And.. maybe that's okay. Murmuring echoes throughout the whole area as the audience discusses the movie with their friends through open windows and on folding chairs.
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"S-So what did you think of it?" Olivia asks, clearly excited to hear my response.
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"W-Well.. I really liked watching it with you." I reply, trying to sound smooth.
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My attempt at being cool is shot down as Olivia smirks at me, shaking her head. Suddenly, the sound of a mouthful of popcorn being chewed fills my ears.
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"Kyeah, I mwreally cliked the paurt whair the guys shaught the ollians."
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Naser speaks with his mouth fool, crumbs of popcorn spilling from it as he stares at the both of us. Come to think of it..
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"When did you.. get back, Naser?" I ask.
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This time, he takes the time to swallow his popped corn before answering; "Only a few minutes after you left.. but it looked like you two were talking about something, so I went to get popcorn instead."
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With no idea of how much of the conversation Naser heard, I could only hope that he didn't hear either of us pouring our hearts out. Though.. I don't think he'd care, since he suggested that we talk to each other anyway.
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"Come on, dude." Olivia interjects, frowning. "At least share."
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Naser stares at her, an expression of fear forming on his face. He stares at the red-striped bag that contains his precious theater snack, and then back to Olivia before resigning in disappointment. Olivia grins as she snatches the bag from his hands, shoveling her own share of popcorn into her snout. She offers the bag to me, and I feel obliged to eat my own mouthful of the substance, much to Naser's dismay. Our general shenanigans in the lot last a lot longer than I had expected, as by the time we were out of popcorn, most cars had already vacated the lot.
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"Time really flies, huh?" I muse, out loud.
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Olivia nods, silently. "We should get going, then. Dad wants me to be home early, even when I'm with Naser."
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She scoffs at the mention of her dad, though I can tell she doesn't really hold any ill thoughts about him. Just as I'm about to speak, something interrupts me. A loud popping sound, one that sounds like an explosion. I turn myself towards a treeline on the left side of the drive-in theater, towards where the sound came from. Both Naser and Olivia do the same, and we stare.. until it happens again.
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A shower of multicolored lights spills from an explosion in the sky, a popping sound echoing throughout the area. I recognize them as fireworks, but they're completely unexpected.
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We all stare blankly at them, until Naser turns to look at us excitedly.
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"W-Wait! There was going to be a fireworks show in a park nearby here! I completely forgot about that.."
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I look around the lot, and it looks like the fireworks have captured the attention of a few still-parked cars, their inhabitants deciding to watch the show for themselves. The fireworks are just close enough and loud enough to be enjoyed, though actually being there would be a lot more exciting. Regardless, a silence envelops the three of us as we all watch the fireworks that begin to burst in the sky, mesmerized by the sight. Naser and I lean against the NasCar, while Olivia scoots closer to me.
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I glance to Naser, who seems to have taken his eyes off the fireworks and towards both of us. I can see him visibly smirk at me, and he stretches his arms before speaking in a theatrical manner.
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"Auh.. t-that popcorn didn't sit well with me. Sorry, guys.. I-I'll be in the bathroom." He says, unconvincingly. Naser trots off towards the restrooms, leaving myself shocked and Olivia amused.
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"Guess athletes can't eat processed food. Wonder why he even bought it, then." Olivia jokes, staring back towards what's visible of the show. I nod, doing the same.
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Between the silence and the view, my mind has time to reflect on the events of the night. Naser's suggestion, and my conversation with Olivia.. it feels good to get that out in the open, but it still feels like there's something left to do. I gaze towards the baryonyx, her eyes locked on the showers of light. The feeling of our bond returns to my heart, and it ripples its way through my body. A smile forms on my face, as I finally accept a conclusion I reached long ago.
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"I love you, Olivia."
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I watch her visibly flinch, slowly turning to look at me with a bewildered expression. She stammers, searching for something to say, while I continue to gaze at her with a soft smile. It feels good, not being on the receiving end of something like this.
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"W-What do you mean by that!?" Olivia finally asks, visibly tense. My own smile fades, as I contemplate the question. I.. didn't really think about what that means, or what that will change.
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"I.. don't know." I ultimately conclude, and this response flusters Olivia even more.
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"H-How can you not know? Like, you.. just l-l-love me, or are you.. a-aheh.." Her words are confused, as if she's still trying to process the statement.
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I collect my thoughts, trying to summarize how I feel for Olivia. I know I love her, but..
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"I.. know we're good friends, and.. I'd do anything for you. B-But I still don't know if.. if I want, y'know.. t-to be together. With you."
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My forward response, while nervous, seems to satisfy Olivia as she stares off into the distance, not at anything in particular.
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"I really don't want to.. to change things between us, Olivia. B-Because I like where we are now, but.. But I don't know what I want. I just thought you should know."
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The words do little to change her current state, and I can only frown to myself as I turn to look at the fireworks again. They prove an adequate distraction from the tension of the confession. I know I have to be honest.. but was it too early? Did I just make things awkward between us? What if this is the end? What if she never wants to-
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My thoughts are interrupted by a sudden sensation in the hand at my side. Shaking slightly, I peer down to notice that Olivia's hand has softly grabbed mine. In a bit of shock, I turn to look up at her once again. A fiery blush stains her cheeks as she raises my hand and places her other over top of it, in a delicate display of affection.
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"L-Look, I.. I don't really know either, but.. if you want, we can.. y'know.. try."
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Olivia's voice trails off, an octave or higher towards the end of her sentence. I can tell that I'm probably just as red as her right now.
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"W-What do you mean 'try'?" I ask.
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Olivia giggles slightly, breaking eye contact with me; "Well.. I-If it doesn't work out, or w-we change our minds.. we can always go back, right?"
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I contemplate the idea for a few seconds, ultimately nodding along; "I.. think we can, yeah. I-I don't want to rush things, though."
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My nervousness is calmed by Olivia's soft voice; "W-We can take things slow, yeah.. I think I'd like that."
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"T-Then.. yeah, that works." I croak, my soul beginning to set ablaze as thoughts of Olivia and I in a steady relationship pass through my head. It's almost overwhelming, but the state is broken when Olivia's hand squeezes mine.
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"Y-You okay there?" She giggles, and I can't help but join her. The feeling of love between us has amplified ten-fold in my heart, and we continue holding hands as we both stare off at the fireworks in the night sky. I have no idea what the future holds, or who I'll be in the coming months.. but every time I think about it, I can only picture a future filled with love. The thoughts of despair, of wasting my life away in bitter pursuits of pointless things, all vanish completely. The warmth from Olivia's hand spreads throughout my entire body, and I feel.. peace.
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I feel peace. Even without looking at her, even without thinking about her cute face or her warm hugs, I feel peace.
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Suddenly, another sensation crosses my other hand; the one dangling free to my side. Rather than flinch like I normally would, I slowly and gently raise my hand to investigate the source. There, resting on top of my index finger's middle digit, lies..
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"Is that a moth?" I ask to nobody in particular, staring at the creature as it rests idly on my hand. Olivia's head turns, staring at the insect as well. She motions for me to bring my hand closer, and against my better judgement, I do. She gently grips my wrist with a hand, taking a careful look at the bug as it continues to lounge around on my skin.
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"I.. don't think that's a moth." She says, confusedly.
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"T-Then what is it?" I ask, trying to suppress a panic as thoughts of a moth shooting poison through my body fill my mind.
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"...That might be a Hedyloidea. It's.. a nocturnal butterfly." She replies, hesitantly. Based on her expression, Olivia slowly seems to become more confident in her answer, though.
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It doesn't take long for my mind to produce a distant memory, from a time that seems now like a dream. A time when Olivia and I were inseparable, romping through the outdoors and facing the insurmountable mountain of elementary school together. A time when we made a promise to one another. I look down to our hands, still gently pressed against each other. Just like all those years ago, we're inseparable. In that case.. those years were more than just a dream. They're a reality, one that we both get to experience together.
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"Hey Olivia." I ask, a smile tugging at my face. "I caught a butterfly."
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She gazes up at me, and then back to the butterfly. It doesn't take long for a smirk to form across her face.
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"Yeah, I guess you did, dork." She playfully mocks.
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"You know what that means?" I ask, hoping she'll remember.
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A bout of silence fills the air as she purses her snout. Suddenly, a blank expression crosses her face, once that slowly evolves into a giddy smile.
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"Hah.. you'll have your work cut out for you, dork. Have you SEEN me draw?"
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"Yeah." I reply. "I have. Guess we'll have to spend more time together, then."
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A blush crosses her face, merging with her smile to form an expression of love that she gazes upward to share with me, locking our eyes together. The distant sound of a firework fills the silence between us, and after it fades, a whisper follows.
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"..I love you, Inco."
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"I love you too, Olivia."
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~FIN~