# They've Got No Half-Life And Shine Brighter Than Ever

Title: They've Got No Half-Life And Shine Brighter Than Ever
Status: Complete
Characters: Anon, Fang, Naser, Trish, Reed, Carmen, Lancester, Cheney, Austin
Rating: SFW
Classification: One Shot
Author: Doorstop
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There I lay, in bliss.
Flowers surrounding me, a field.
A dream, perhaps? A wish come true?
A horseman appears.
Pale as death, sleek as silver.
I welcome it into my domain.
It speaks my name.
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"Carmen"
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It's voice, rough, stale, although just familiar enough to instill comfort in me.
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"Carmen"
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The voice is becoming increasingly familiar, too close to-
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"CARMEN!"
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I wake, back to my small hovel of a room. Disoriented, I look up to see Lan, a good friend and currently the number one person I need to kill at the moment for disturbing my slumber.
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"Get your ass out of bed Carmen! Aussie boy found 'em!"
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"Found who, Lan? It better be the reincarnation of raptor Jesus because nobody else is going to save you from what I'm going to do to you"
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"Get up and get in the truck! We don't got time!"
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I leap out of bed, run out the room, Dodge the Ma and Pa, and make a dash for the truck. All while still groggy from a very rude and literal awakening.
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It's a beauty to behold. God knows how Lan got it, he tells a different story every time, but the Uranium Drifter is the magnum opus of our efforts. Accommodated with a couch, a portable TV, an artisanal rug, and enough
snacks and battery packs to live through armageddon. This former moving truck has evolved from carrying cargo, to carrying the coolest cats in town with style. However it was apparent very soon that this was not an average cruise.
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As I stepped into the back compartment, I saw Shane was there too, driving the portable mini-mansion. clear as day were the marks of tiredness under his eyes, Lan did the same treatment to him. As soon as I closed the door behind me, Shane
stepped on the gas and away we went, the glow of the phone illuminating our path through the winding roads, directing us to where "aussie boy" wanted us to go.
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Around the streets we went, going from a sea of trailers, to the open plains, to an urban cityscape in about half an hour. At this point Shane and I had recovered from our affliction, but Lan looked more worried than ever. The absence of a certain member caught my attention.
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"Hey, how come Austin isn't talking?"
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"He's still in school, don't you keep track of time?"
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"Then how is he telling us where to go?"
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"You think a guy like him is going to pay attention? He's done some background tracking and found the people we're looking for."
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"Just who ARE we tracking, exactly?"
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Lancaster smirks and gives me a devious eye
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"Competition"
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We arrive, it's a small café that sells overpriced coffee and pastries with enough sugar to make an Ethiopian child diabetic. Outside customers mill about eating their food and talking small talk, and through the crowd Lan sees them.
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"THERE! THAT'S THEM!" He yells out.
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We scramble out of the truck, wading past the colorful denizens of the town and stop at a table with four people. A pink velociraptor who reeks of kush, A purple triceratops staring intently into my soul with a burning rage, A teal-ish pterodactyl that is surprised by the commotion, and a faceless abomination and crime against nature. All in all probably the four most bland looking creatures in the entire city.
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"Who are you?" Everyone exclaims at the same time, save for Lan.
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"WE are the number one rock band in volcaldera bluffs!" He says at the top of his lungs. "The RADS!"
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I glance at Shane, he glances back. We both anticipated for the worst.
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The four stare at us for a long moment, the silence is deafening.
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"That's cool, I thought we were the only rock band here." The emotionless creature proclaims, now holding a large doughnut as it's next victim.
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"Well you thought WRONG!" Lan puts himself in a more "authoritative" pose. "We used to be the TOP music maker here! Now that you've come out of the woodwork from THIN AIR, you have now become our MAIN RIVALS!"
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"Oh, so that's what this is all about." The winged one stands and takes a defensive pose.
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I immediately pull Lan to the side. "What the hell is wrong with you Lan! First you drag me out of bed to some café and now you want to antagonize four random people just because they're in a band? We dont even know who they are!"
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"I know who they are" Shane replies. "They're the worm people"
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"VVURM DRAMA!!" The purple one yells.
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"What do you want with us anyway?" The blue one asks. "You cant be serious that you're going to get this riled up over one band."
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Lan snaps back "Because YOU popped out of thin air! OVERNIGHT you became popular with the town and that's some real coincidence there!"
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The green jacket monster opens his mouth. "I mean, Moe's was a long time ago, and it wasn't until recently that we reformed, so I dont know where you're getting this "overnight" crap"
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"Well-"
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The triceratops interjects Lan. "Wait a second, I know you people! You were the ones that got arrested for playing in public, weren't you? I thought you were called the-" She pauses to stifle a laughter. "The COOLS!"
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The four worm people burst into laughter, leaving us to wallow in our bad decisions.
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The Violet dinosaur pauses her laughter for a brief moment to get a single sentence out. "And I thought you were a cool quartet, I guess he bailed! I dont blame him, I would too!" And once again she bursts into roaring laughter.
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Lancaster's eye's almost glow with rage. "First of all! We changed our name once we got the truck. And SECOND!" He jerks forward and leans right in front of the triceratops, a mere inch away. Everyone has stopped laughing. The air grows static with each passing second.
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"You do not make fun of Austin."
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He reels back, and the tension recedes.
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Shane pulls us back towards the Uranium Drifter, and grabs us by the shoulders.
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"I think this is a perfect time to leave"
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Lan didn't object, He knew better than to argue with Shane, with what little input he provides.
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We leave the scene of the action, and drive off into the woods.
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It's gotten late, we're at Lan's house now.
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The forest during the sunset is beautiful, The weather is just nice, and it's all only marred by the fact that there is nothing to eat that isn't freeze-dried, dehydrated, and packed within god knows what space age plastic for several miles.
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We're sitting in the shed (Which has satellite internet as a convenience) where we usually practice, eating MREs that Lan's dad unintentionally "gave" to us by leaving the food storage door unlocked. it was a tough time getting used to these things, but considering how many times we visit this forest retreat we were bound to adapt.
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As we munch through our barely edible meal, the phone screen on a tall pole we stuck into the floor lights up, and upon it our fourth band member appears. He of course is eating a fresh plate of spaghetti.
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"I take it you had a good time with VVURM DRAMA?"
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Shane laughs, Lan keeps staring at his food, pinning it with a plastic fork.
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"It went horrible Austin." Shane replies. "But at least we know there is competition, meaning we have to step up our A game."
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"Well then, I have some adjustments we could do to improve our performance."
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He fumbles a bit, but manages to get up a small powerpoint presentation on the phone screen
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"First off, we need to get our message out there. Show that we're not playing around or some amateurs, even though we really are, but that's the whole deal of presentation, is it not? Carmen, as much of a cool idea as it is, spraying links and QR codes to our bandcamp underneath the overpasses in the city isn't going to help much. Maybe try going for a poster approach?"
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I was intrigued by the idea, although I owned no printing hardware I was sure I could make do with something.
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"Yeah, that sounds like a good idea."
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"Alright! Shane, I need your help sprucing up the Uranium Drifter. I know you were in charge of the interior, but maybe add something to truly stand out on the outside!"
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"Will do, bossman."
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Austin does his best to try and turn to Lan through an immobile phone screen.
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"Lan, I need you to help make lyrics and ideas for the band, Fresh tunes are the core backbone of a group and I want you to be the forefront of it."
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Lan finally speaks up. "Yeah sure, I'll make better lyrics than those goddamn worm people." He stabs his ration hard, it crumbles into fine dust.
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Austin takes a deep breath. "Listen, Lan. You cannot base yourself around another band, You need an identity, something to stand out. If you dedicate yourself to countering one band, you become a clown at a circus, an accessory to the main event. Doing new things is why we made this band in the first place."
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Lancaster violently gets up from his chair, it clatters to the ground, the sounds it produces deafened by the emotions exuding from him.
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"Why? Why does this happen? First Austin has to leave here and leave a giant hole, and then not even a month later we get major competition from some nobodies from some private school!
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He paces around the room, face covered as not to show his true emotion
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"But Lan, I've never left. I'm here, and even though I'm hundreds of miles away, you know and Carmen knows and Shane knows that I'm still here in spirit. I try and be with you as much as possible, I still do the same things I do since I was there. I haven't changed, and I'm not planning on leaving anytime soon. You three have all changed my life for the better, giving me a chance when you knew I didn't belong, And even when I left you didn't cut ties with me or antagonize me like many before. You gave me a proper group, A team, people to depend on, and I cant ask for anything else. All I can give in return is my friendship."
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The speech nearly broke me, it nearly broke the others too. It reminded us of back then, when Austin first arrived at our school, when he looked to us, even though we were older than him, for friendship. His smile when he was introduced to our group. His insane plans for making a music group (albeit the name was a bad choice). And the joy he experienced when we first preformed in the streets of the bluffs (and was promptly arrested for public disturbance). He may have left us, but his speech was true. His spirit was still here, playing, laughing, and performing with us through thick and thin. He was here, and he was still a part of us.
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Lan wiped the tears from his face. Legally an adult, He still had a soft heart.
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As the dust settled, a sudden blast of determination struck me.
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I stood from my chair. "Alright, listen. Now that we've cried out tears and washed our faces we can focus on what needs to be done, and that is getting this band to the top!" I raise my finger upwards, striking a pose based on how successful people are portrayed in media.
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"We need to get this show on the road, and lounging around won't do anything."
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Lan perks up
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"Actually, I already have an idea for a song, composition and all."
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Shane grabs the sticks for his drums, I grab my guitar and aux, Austin shuffles and gets out a Casio CTK-480, and Lan pulls out his banjo.
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"Alright, This one is called "I've got no half-life and I'm brighter than ever"
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And then we played throughout the night, much to the dismay of Lan's dad.
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I'm sitting in the shotgun of the nascar, reed and anon are fast asleep with trish stuck between.
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A random thought hits me
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"Hey trish, how did those people find us at the cafe?"
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"What? All I did was post some images on snootbook!"