# Garden Of Rosa Chapter 8

Garden of Rosa
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Chapter 8
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Waving at Rosa’s car as it drives off, I wince slightly at the continued pain in my ribs as I begin to limp home. I have yet to tell Rosa where I actually live, and the continual lie I have to feed her whenever she drops me off is starting to wear me out. Not to mention the several block walk home, my body screaming its displeasure at each step. The careful massage and rub-down that Rosa gave me on her bed seemed like a long time ago now, and I have to grit my teeth against the pain as I trudge up the steps to my dreary apartment.
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Flicking on the lights, the desolate emptiness of my apartment compared to the vibrant, well-lived hominess of Rosa’s house only helps feed the sinking feeling in my stomach. “I really should tell Rosa the truth about this,” I mumble as I dump my backpack on the floor and collapse into bed with a groan. I can’t continue hiding something as basic as where I live from her if I want to continue calling her my girlfriend. Rolling onto my back, I fish out my phone from my pocket, wishing I had Rosa’s healing hands on me again as my muscles cry out in pain. Hoping she won’t be too mad, I’m already mentally steeling myself for the onslaught of angry Spanish that is sure to accompany my admission.
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Strange; I’ve got a missed call from Fang, as well as a few texts from her. She must’ve tried to contact me when Rosa and I were… Another groan escapes me as I think about Fang, and the way I had to break her hopes. Fang didn’t leave a voicemail or anything for me, so it must not be urgent. Thumbing over to the messenger app, I pray to Raptor Jesus that everything is okay, images of Fang preening her wings flashing quickly through my mind.
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Fang: Hey
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Fang: yo wtf someone said you fell down the front steps at school?!
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Fang: U okay dweeb :V ?
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Three messages, all from around the same time. Seems Fang still wanted to be my friend, at least. Scrolling down, I can read the rest of what she left for me.
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Fang: Reed said Rosa took u home…
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Fang: Can we talk, tomorrow at school?
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Fang: About us, i mean.
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Fuck. I let the phone fall back onto my chest, staring at the celling. Fang wants to talk to me tomorrow, huh? Hopefully she didn’t say anything to Trish about her feelings for me, otherwise I may not make it that long. Although, something tells me from what Fang said to Trish, neither of them will be speaking for a while.
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“Fuck,” I say again, out-loud this time. Seems no matter where I go, all I do is leave broken friendships in my wake. A buzzing on my chest pulls me out of my sulk, my heart quickening at a text from Rosa.
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Rosa: I hope you are feeling better, mi novio! Papi wants to have you for dinner sometime. He’s mad Mama already talked to you without him, lol.
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Rosa: I wanna have you over too, mi amor~ ;)
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Rosa: You just rest for now, though. You need your strength, An-on! I’ll see you at school tomorrow.
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Rather than cheering me up, Rosa’s texts just made me feel worse about everything; how I lied to her about where I lived, about Fang and me, about how badly I wanted to see her again. Sighing, I barely manage to pour myself into my computer chair, my hands automatically opening a tab of my favorite Estonian el-presidente fan-forum. Maybe some shitposting will make me feel better…
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No. I force myself to close the tab, glancing back at Rosa’s texts on my still-open phone. If I’m going to improve, to be the best ‘novio’ for Rosa, I need to do better than shitposting. Instead, I open a list of florists in the area, my mind already thinking of what I can say in apology to Rosa tomorrow.
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***
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I feel well enough to make it to school the next day, albeit barely. My lukewarm shower did little to ease my aching muscles, however, and the walk to Volcano High was pure agony in my condition, but the events of last night kept me going. I owe it to Fang and Rosa both to face them today, no matter what. Not looking forward to talking to any other student given how much of my power-level was revealed, I skip the front door, instead heading to the school gardens. They were usually quiet before class starts, a place where I could avoid any comments about my photoshopping abilities. I message Fang as I walk, asking if she will meet me in the school’s music room during lunch to talk. Lunch isn’t for a while, and it will give me some time to think about the two women I’m supposed to meet today. Easing myself down on a stone bench, I cast my eyes around to the many flowering plants that I helped Rosa and the Gardening Club plant earlier this year. Under Rosa’s careful guidance, some are even already blooming.
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“Anon! Hey Anon! Oh my god, are you okay?” A familiar voice of a particular stego cuts through the silence of the gardens, and I can see Stella waving at me from further down the path.
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Ugh. Make that three women I have to meet today.
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“Hey Stella. Yeah, I’m okay, I guess,” I mutter, suppressing a wince as wave back at her. Stella meant well, she really did, but her words of encouragement yesterday did little but add fuel to the fire of those jerks who jeered at me. Even with her face full of concern over my well-being, her bright blue eyes shimmering and her mouth pouting, I still slightly loathe the sight of her. If anyone saw us, the two biggest weebs of the school, talking together right now, I may never recover from what happened yesterday. “Stella, after I left yesterday, did anyone… I mean, were people still talking, about what happened?”
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“Do you mean how everyone in school knows your waifu, or how you almost died falling down the stairs? Yep, people were pretty much talking about both!” Stella seems incapable of reading my mood, her cheerful voice sounding particularly harsh this morning. “I don’t know what you’re afraid of, Anon! Everyone knows I watch anime, and no one’s said anything mean to me for a while. Anyways, I think your waifu is sooooooo cute! Ohmygod! We should TOTALLY get together to watch some Anime sometime. I’ve got the perfect show for us; I even made a cosplay outfit for it! It’s about-“
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“Stella, do’ya think we could discuss the superiority of ‘Grorious Nippon’ later?!” I sigh as Stella shrinks back from me, and I continue in more measured tone. “I’ve just got a lot on my mind, is all. Ugh.” I scrub my eyes with the backs of my hands, attempting to miss the hurt look Stella was giving me. “I’m sorry, Stella, really. I’ve just got to tell Rosa something today and I still kinda’ need to prepare.”
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“Oh… That’s okay, Anon, maybe we can get together at my house to watch it some other time.” Taking a seat next to me, Stella swings her legs in the air, humming a little tune to pass the time. “So, what were you and Rosa going to talk about?” My god, but could she not read the room a little?
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“It’s just,” I begin, turning towards her. A sudden thought occurs to me: Stella is Rosa’s best friend, right? And we’re friends too. Maybe if I tell her that I’ve been lying to Rosa about my squalid living conditions, she can help me decide what to say to her. A sort-of trial run. That way, if Stella totally thinks I’m a creep, it can’t get any worse.
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I hope.
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“Look, Stella, here’s the deal…” I break down the situation to Stella quickly: How much Rosa means to me, how great it felt being considered a part of her family, how I’ve been hiding my Skin Row pad from her this whole time out of shame. Stella listened intently, her eyes laser-focused, only interrupting to ask for some clarification. Before long, I realize I’ve spilled everything to Stella, not just about Rosa but my whole shitty family life in general. Mercifully, when I get to why I left Rock Bottom, Stella doesn’t even comment about how much a massive weeb I really am.
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After I finish, Stella just sits there for a moment, her gaze vacant as she processes what I just said. Eventually, she takes a deep breath, as if to ease the words out of her chest. “Umm, thanks Anon, for telling me those things about yourself….” Her eyes downcast, I can tell she’s slightly uncomfortable with how much I dumped on her just now. “It sounds like you really like Rosa, and her family. Which is great! Um. I’ve never had a… you know, a b-boyfriend, but I think you really should tell Rosa about where you live, and your family stuff. She would want to know, you know? Couples shouldn’t hide things from each other.”
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Nodding, I lean back against hard stone of the bench, wincing as the corner of the back digs into my bruises. “You’re right, Stella, thanks. It’s just hard, all this couple stuff. Ugh, I mean, when I came here I didn’t think I could find someone to love! And I don’t even know the first thing about dating! All those dating sims are fuckin’ useless, let me tell you…” I suddenly became aware that Stella was staring at me, a massive smile slowly spreading across her face. “What? What did I say?”
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“Anon… you l-love Rosa?!”
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I can feel the heat of my face as it starts to glow red. “Umm, yeah, I mean, she’s kinda-sorta said it to me, but I never-“ The rest of my excuses are cut off as Stella wraps her arms around my neck, hugging be back and forth as her ear-piercing shriek causes all the birds on campus to take flight.
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“OHMYGOD THIS IS SO GREAT AHHHHHHHH! Anon, seriously, you are soooooooo CUTE!” Stella is happily ignoring my cries of pain as she shakes me around like a rag doll, her squees reaching a level only dogs can hear. Finally, Stella lets go of me, leaving my neck feeling like it’s been wrung out like a wet towel. “Anon, you HAVE to tell Rosa about how you really feel! Here, let me help you. Tonight, this is what you can do…”
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Before I could stop her, Stella started to break down how I could confess my love to Rosa, citing every anime trope in the book. The more I rolled my eyes at her suggestions, the cringer they got, the more I had to provide ideas of my own. No way in hell I was going to get Rosa into the school pool fully-clothed, and where the hell could I get that many butterflies?! Before long, I was as animated about planning the perfect night as Stella was, eagerly offering up ideas about how to best let Rosa know how I felt about her. Stella nodded along, listen intently to my ideas as the two of us slowly molded into an actual plan. Eventually, the first-period bell sounded, the claxon call putting an end to our conversation. I hadn’t even realized how long we had been talking!
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As we got up to head off to class, the two of us smiling like a bunch of dorks, Stella gave me one final hug of encouragement. “Anon, you’re gonna do great! Oh, I almost forgot!” Stella rummaged through her backpack, pulling her precious tarot deck out at last. Rifling through it, she handed me a single laminated card. “I want you to have this, Anon. I was going to do a reading for you, to see how things with Rosa would go, but I think I already know, now.” Glancing down at the card’s face, I could see two dinosaurs embracing in a kiss: It was ‘The Lovers’.
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“Stella, I can’t accept this, what about your readings?” Stella just smiled at my protest, already turning to leave.
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“I’ve got others, Anon. Good luck! I bet everything works out, or you owe me an anime viewing!” Stella was running to class now, a piece of toast inexplicably appearing between her teeth. Laughing, I waved goodbye, calling after her.
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“It’s a deal!”
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***
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The rest of my morning classes pass by in a blur. I barely even notice that Trish isn’t in Math this morning, her empty desk next to Reed suggesting she was taking the day off. I thought I was okay with what Trish did, but not seeing her in class just made it more apparent she felt guilty for the shit she pulled. Fang wasn’t in music class either, her empty chair making ME feel guilty this time. I didn’t know if she was skipping today as well, as Fang hadn’t messaged me back today, but I just hoped wherever she was, she was doing okay.
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Rosa took it upon herself to escort me between classes, her presence protecting me from the jeers of the rest of the school somewhat. Everyone feared being hit upside the head by Rosa’s shoe, so they mostly left us alone, pretending like I didn’t even exist. Rosa always left me with a squeeze of my hand and quick peck on the cheek, her warm smile as she waved goodbye to me making me feel even worse that I lied to her. Man, this day couldn’t be over fast enough…
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Finally, the lunch bell rang at last, releasing me to my fate. I trudge towards the music room, vainly attempting to tell myself that the sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach was just hunger at skipping lunch. Peering through the window, I could see Fang sitting in the music room alone, tuning one the classroom’s guitars.
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“Fang? Hey, it’s me.” I say, pushing open the double-doors. Fang doesn’t glance up from the guitar, acknowledging me with a little wave of her free hand instead. Thank Raptor Jesus there’s no blood on her wings.
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“Hey, Anon.” Her voice sounds quiet, morose, as if she’s been dreading this as much as I was. “Sorry to hear you got yourself beat up by an inanimate object.”
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“I’ll survive; we humans always do. Look, Fang, about us,” I take a seat next to her, causing Fang to look up from her tuning. Her eyes look slightly puffy, as if she had been crying. “Fang, if I ever did anything to lead you on, to make you think we could be… I’m sorry, okay?” Fang sniffs quietly, rubbing her eyes with her hand quickly before putting on a small smile.
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“It’s okay, Anon. I just thought it could be different with you… You saw through me, to the real me, and it was nice.” Fang resumes tuning the guitar, twisting and plucking until she was satisfied. “I liked having someone see me for who I was for once, not who they wanted me to be or who I wasn’t.” Fang began to strum mindlessly on the guitar, the tuning finished. “I thought, maybe you saw me like that because you, um… B-because you liked me, is all.” Random chords echoed through the classroom, a discordant melody to match Fang’s mood. “When you and Rosa started going out, I thought there might still be a chance, because you were always by my side, helping me through the bad times. So when I got to help you through your bad time, my feelings just kinda poured out, you know?” The melody shifts, the song familiar. It was the song Fang had composed on the roof, the one she played just for the both of us. “But it’s over now. All of it is. I told Trish I need to take a break from the band, to get away from her for a while. I’m sure you want to do the same, to take a break from us, to spend time with Rosa…” The song fades, and Fang just sits there, staring at the guitar in her hands, tears streaming down her face.
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The silence stretches out between us for a moment. I know it would be easier, to just put some space between Fang and myself. There’s a lot of drama to unpack, and some time apart would do us some good. Fang still had Reed, and I had Rosa now, so it would probably be okay. Just a few days, at most…
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No. I know what I want, and not being friends with Fang isn’t it.
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“No, Fang, I don’t want to take a break from you. Or anyone in the band, even Trish.” Fang looks at me, surprise flashing across her face. Her mascara is already running, leaving black streaks down her cheeks. “Fang, you are the closest friend I’ve got here, and I don’t want to throw that away for anything, not even Rosa. Yeah, she means a lot to me, more than I could ever know, but you’re still apart of me, too.” I reach out a tentative hand, placing it on Fang’s shoulder. She flinches back slightly, before letting my touch linger on her. “Do you know what I said at the beginning of the year? I said I didn’t want any friends. I just wanted to be alone, to coast through the year by myself. But that’s not what I want, not really. I just wanted a family, and friends who supported me, friends who I can support, too. So I’m not taking a break from you Fang, not now, not after we graduate.” Fang places her hand on mine for a moment before letting it drop to her lap. “Face it, you’re fuckin’ stuck with this skinny, like it or not.”
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Fang laughs suddenly, a rippling snort like tearing cloth. “Even if you and Rosa get married and have like, a bazillion kids or something?” Her voice is quiet, a tender feeler searching for a small ray of sunshine in the darkness of her life.
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“Not even then. You know I can’t carry a tune to save my life, and someone has to accompany Rosa’s singing.” Both of us are laughing now, Fang no doubt imaging just how bad any of my musical attempts would be. “I think you would get along with her, Fang, I really do. Maybe not, like, now, but sometime later, it might be nice, yeah?”
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Fang gives me a smile, one that begins to ease the sadness in her amber eyes. Streaks of tears and make-up mar her pretty face, and her eyelids are a puffy mess, but Fang still looks beautiful, sitting next to me. I feel… happy, that I’m able to make her happy, able to help a true friend when she’s down. At this moment, I know that our relationship has passed into a new phase, that we could never go back to what we had before. Both of us had accepted the other into their hearts, not as lovers or anything like that, but as familia.
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“Yeah, that would be nice. But no double-dates, dweeb, I don’t want my future boyfriend to know how much of a dork my first crush was.” Fang punctuates her verbal jab with a physical one, a playful poke in my thankfully uninjured shoulder.
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“Deal.” I pull a pack of tissues from my bag, handing them to Fang. She accepted them with a laugh, and I’m glad I planned ahead this time. “So, did you just skip music class just to avoid me?”
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Dabbing at her eyes, Fang gives me ‘don’t-flatter-yourself’ look. “Pfft, you wish dweeb. No, I was talking to Spears, about maybe playing at Prom at the end of the year. I think it would be cool, to show everyone how far I’ve come.” Fang studied her dirty tissue for a moment, the fingers of her other hand idly tracing the strings of the guitar. “Maybe VVORM DRAMA could play together by then, even…”
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“Yeah, I’d like that, Fang.” Fang looks up from her now-shredded tissue, studying my face. Smiling at her, I pull her into an awkward hug, the guitar hanging between us. After a moment Fang hugs me back, a brief exchange between two old friends.
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“Me too, Anon. Me too.”