# Weird Customs

Title: Weird Customs
Status: Complete
Characters: Anon, Fang, Trish, Reed
Rating: SFW
Classification: One Shot
Author: Anonymous
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> It's an unusually chilly morning as I walk to school, hands tucked into my pockets
> There's hardly anybody loitering around the front steps today, clearly everyone rushed for the warm hallways
> As I walk up the front sidewalk, something in the grass catches my eye.
> Leaning over and scooping it up, I see it's actually a small agate
> It's nothing special really, pretty small and unremarkable. It would probably sell for about a dollar in some dinky gift-shop somewhere.
> I pocket it on a whim, barely giving it any thought as I walk inside
> As usual, Fang is waiting for me by my locker, tapping an improvised tune against the metal
> "Morning dork." She yawns, snapping her jaws.
> "Sup Fang." I reply, reaching into my pocket, "Hey check out what I just found."
> I toss the agate to Fang, who easily catches it. She turns it over in the light, wiping off the dirt with her thumb
> "Nice find dweeb, you thinking of becoming a geologist?"
> "Yeah yeah, whatever." I scoff, grabbing my bag from my locker, "I just found it outside on the lawn. You want it?"
> Fang gasps, fumbling and nearly dropping the rock. She stares at me wide eyed, a crimson blush spreading over her face
> "Fang? You alright?" I ask, confused. Is something wrong with her? Does she have a fever?
> "Y-yeah! I'm fine!" Fang nearly shouts, smiling nervously. "Are you really sure you want me to have it?"
> "Sure, why not?" I shrug, slinging my bag over my shoulder. "I can keep it if you don't want it."
> "No!" Fang snaps, clasping the stone tightly to her chest as if it's the most precious thing in the world. "I mean, uh... sure. I'll take it off you hands, it's fine."
> "Oookay then..." I reply suspiciously. I don't know what's going on with Fang today, she's definitely acting weird.
> "Anyway, I'll see you later at science class." I wave as I head off, the first bell of the day ringing overhead. Fang meekly waves back, retreating beneath her wings as they fold over her head
> From a distance, I can just barely hear a muffled "EEEEEE!!!" from beneath her feathers as I turn around the corner.
> Huh, wonder what all that was about. Maybe I can ask Reed about it later, see if she got sick over the weekend or something. Oh well, I'm sure it's nothing.
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> It's finally the end of the week, and everyone is eager to finally go home for the weekend.
> Stepping down the school's concrete steps, I fish out my phone and get check my favorite Indonesian pickle shearing forum. As usual, there's nothing interesting going on.
> My feet are on autopilot as I walk down the sidewalk, and I nearly stumble into someone standing in my way
> It's a pterosaur who's name I can't quite recall. I recognize her from some of my classes however. We've never really talked.
> She's shorter than Fang, but not quite so thin. Much more colorful though. She always seemed particularly shy, and honestly she's pretty cute.
> "Uh, h-hey Anon." she stammers, running her hand through her hair, "I was wondering, um-"
> Oh great, what is this going to be? Some stupid question about humans? Somebody trying to get answers about Fang?
> She mentally psyches herself up, slapping her cheeks and straightening her back
> Reaching into her bag, she quickly pulls something out and thrusts it to me.
> It's a stick. Admittedly, a pretty nice stick, but still a stick.
> She clearly want me to have it, so I reluctantly take it.
> Is this some stupid caveman thing? Is this racist? Was she put up to this?
> Suddenly, she starts strutting back and forth in front of me, puffing out her chest while bobbing her head forward and back
> ...What?
> Dude, what the fuck am I looking at?
> Everyone on the front lawn is staring, or excitedly whispering to each other as she continues the display.
> The mystery pterosaur stops strutting and starts scraping her feet against the ground, fluffing and flapping her wings wildly
> I have no idea what the fuck is happening
> Is this some kind of prank?
> Am I getting punked?
> Does Volcano High have an interpretive dance troupe?
> This is all so totally fucking bizarre I can't even think. I just stand there slack-jawed, stick in hand
> Suddenly Fang storms up from behind me, roughly shoving me behind her and slapping the stick out of my hand
> She looks absolutely livid. Her feathers are all standing on end, her wings fully extended as she bares her teeth at the other dino
> Fang takes a deep breath, her chest visibly filling with air
> "**SKREE-ONK!!**"
> What the fuck
> This day is just too fucking weird for me. I just want to go home.
> The shorter pterosaur looks absolutely terrified, visibly quailing under Fang's murderous glare
> Stammering out a rapid apology, she literally sprints off across the lawn and out of sight
> Fang calms down slightly, but she's still clearly agitated, her wings refusing to come down to rest completely
> Without a word she possessively wraps her arm around mine, pulling me to her side
> Holding her head up high but refusing to look at me, Fang nearly drags me down the sidewalk past the crowd of whispering students
> I'm too fucking baffled to object, my fried brain content to just be lead wherever Fang intends to go
> Finally, about a block away, I remember how words work
> "Fang, what the fuck was that?" I ask, trying and failing to escape form Fang's iron grip
> "Nothing dork, don't worry about it." Fang replies, pulling me in tighter. She still won't look at me, although I can faintly hear Fang mumbling.
> "Fucking skank, thinks she can't just walk up and-..."
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> It's another typical lunch break at Volcano High, sitting with the Fang Gang at our usual spot
> Trish, Reed, and Fang are all excitedly talking about their next upcoming show, debating lightning and the possibility of pyrotechnics
> I don't have much to contribute, and today I'm lost in thought. Something has been bugging me for a while now, and I can't get my mind off it
> I absentmindedly push my food around, trying to think things through and tuning out the world around me
> "Hey, Earth to Anon? You in there?" Fang asks, elbowing my side, "You okay dude? You've been mumbling nonstop."
> "Yeah, I'm good. Just got something on my mind." I answer, "It's probably nothing."
> "What's up dude? You can tell us." Reed chimes in, Trish clearly annoyed at the interruption
> "Well, it's kind of weird..." I scratch the back of my head, knowing how strange this will all sound, "I think there's a stray cat or something in my apartment building."
> Everyone is just staring, waiting for me to continue. With a sigh, I decide to just lay it all out.
> "It started a couple weeks ago." I explain, "I got up and found a big stick on my front mat. I didn't think anything of it, but every couple days another shows up."
> "You found... a stick." Trish deadpans, her eyes narrowing dangerously
> "Yeah, and not just sticks." I continue, "Sometimes it's big colored rocks, or blankets, a couple pillows, old bed stuffing, all kinds of stuff."
> "Dude, a cat couldn't do that." Reed counters, "Unless it was like, a big cougar or something."
> "I think I would have noticed that." I reply, "But what else could it be? It's too strange to be a prank or a threat."
> "I don't know man, I'm stumped." Reed admits, leaning back into his seat, "You have any ideas Trish?"
> "Nope." Trish spits out through clenched teeth, her claws scraping against the table, "What about you Fang?"
> "Huh? N-no" Fang stammers, apparently more interested in something stuck on the ceiling, "I've got no idea what's going on."
> "Well, whatever." I shrug, focusing back on my cold lunch, "I guess it's not really a problem. It'll probably stop eventually."
> The four of us eat in relative silence, content with just each other's company. Fang though seems distracted now, barely picking at her food.
> "So..." she hesitantly begins, trying to sound casual, "What did you end up doing with that stuff anyway?"
> "I just tossed most of it." I answer honestly, Fang's wings and shoulders visibly drooping. A brief flash of sadness on her face is quickly covered up by a fake smile
> "Although..." I continue after another bite of food, "I did end up keeping most of the pillows and blankets."
> "Really?" Fang asks hopefully, her mood completely turning around in an instant
> "Yeah, my old bed was a piece of shit." I explain, "Now it's probably the comfiest place on Skin Row."
> "Oh, good!" Fang smiles, her tail thumping happily against her seat. I'm not sure why she's so concerned about my sleeping arrangements, but it's nice to see her so happy
> Still no idea where all that stuff came from though, it's quite the mystery.
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> It's late in the evening as I come home from work, several heavy bags of groceries in my arms
> I struggle with the paper bags as I fumble with the front door to my new home, a little two bedroom townhouse I moved into with Fang last year
> It feels like we still moving in even after all these months, but I'm starting to recognize it as home, not just some stranger's house I'm sleeping in
> "Hey Fang, I'm home!" I call out at I kick the door closed behind me. There's no answer, which isn't that unusual. Fang probably just has her headphones on or something.
> As I walk into the living room though, I notice something is wrong. The couch is pushed askew, all the cushions and pillows missing
> At first I fear we've been robbed, my thoughts immediately jumping to Fang's safety, but then I notice the TV is still here.
> No, nothing valuable is missing, just all the couch cushions and blankets. Oh, now I know what's going on. It finally happened.
> I head into the kitchen, dropping the heavy paper bags onto the counter. It's amazing how much food two people can go through, especially in these last couple months
> The food can get put away later, I need to find Fang. I head down the hallway and into the bedroom, fairly sure I know where to find her
> Just as I suspected, the bedroom is in a similar state as the living room. The mattress has been flipped over, stripped off all it's sheets and pillows.
> I don't have to look in the bathroom to know all the towels have been ransacked as well
> I head to the walk-in closet, slowly pushing the creaky door open
> "Hey Fang, you in here?" I gently call out, flipping on the light
> In the center of the closet is a massive pile of pillows, blankets, towels, and every other soft item collected from the entire house.
> Looks like some of my shirts are in there as well, along with my old jacket
> Something shifts deep within the pile, the tiny tip of Fang's tail poking out the backside
> "Mhmm..." Fang replies, unwilling to climb out. It's not hard to imagine the mortified blush on her face
> I bite my lip, fighting down laughter. She has to be embarrassed enough already, it would be too much to start teasing her
> "Do you want to come out?" I ask, trying to keep my voice from cracking. Fang's only response is top burrow deeper into the pile, her tail slipping back inside
> I stand up to leave, partly so I don't burst out laughing. We both knew this would happen eventually, honestly I'm surprised she restrained herself for so long
> Heading back into the kitchen, I start rummaging through the groceries. I grab one of the bags of dino-nuggets, storing the other five in the freezer.
> I toss about a dozen nuggets on a plate and set them in the microwave, putting away the rest of the groceries while they cook
> Once the nuggets are cooked just the way I know Fang likes them, I carry the plate back into the bedroom closet
> She must have been able to smell them from across the house. The tip of her snout is pushed out from under the blankets as she audibly sniffs the air
> "Hey Fang." I coo, once again trying desperately to not laugh, "You want some food?"
> She hesitates, no doubt weighing the indignity of being fed against her instinctive desire for food. Finally she relents, wordlessly opening her snout
> I gingerly move a nugget to her between my fingers, Fang snapping it up like a crocodile once it's within reach.
> She chews it ravenously, swallowing it down and immediately awaiting more. I grab another, careful to keep my fingers away form those sharp teeth
> As I feed her, I can't help but pull out my phone and start recording this. This is just too good, it's like feeding a shy raccoon. I definitely need to send Trish the video later.
> Fang will no doubt get her revenge on me later for this, but it'll be worth it.
> Once I run out of nuggets and Fang realizes there no more, she retreats back into her nest. I stand up and wipe the crumbs off my fingers, switching off the light as I leave
> I head downstairs and into the laundry room, which predictably has been instinctively pillaged along with the rest of the house
> Luckily, I've prepared for this day. The doctor we've been seeing warned me this would happen while Fang was out of earshot
> Sliding one of the ceiling panels away, I grab the duffel back I had stashed away about a month ago. Inside is a sleeping bag, and a couple sets of clothes
> It won't be comfy, but it'll be better than sleeping on the bare floor. Should be enough to get me through the final month or so until the delivery.