# Bad Bitch Stella Remaster Chapter 3

Chapter 3: Follow your heart, they told me...
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Back in my shitty flat, I end up lying on my bed and wasting the rest of the afternoon.
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It’s not long before the sun’s set, ushering darkness that mirrors what I feel in my soul. Only once do I get out of bed, and that's to prepare a plate of dino nuggies for dinner. I don’t eat many of them. I can’t bring myself to enjoy the food no matter how much my stomach protests otherwise.
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As the darkness grows outside, I try to think of ways to soothe my nerves other than staring at my ceiling. I consider for a second shitposting the rest of the night away. After the afternoon I had, I can’t even imagine myself being anywhere near clever enough to come up with witty forum replies.
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I turn to glance sideways and spot my Xrox. I hadn’t touched it in about three days now. Poor fellow must be feeling so dejected by now. ‘Well, seeing I have no other idea on how to fucking pass my time tonight...’
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Rock Ring it is.
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The mindless nature of shooting eventually brings me some sweet delirium. Before I know it, it’s way past my usual bedtime. If I lived with my parents, they would probably be shouting at me, demanding I get the hell to sleep. One of the benefits of living alone, I guess.
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After what could have been four hours of zoning the world out with Rock Ring, the events of the day painfully crawl back into my consciousness. Realizing that I have procrastinated long enough, I shut off my Xrox and reach for my phone. Opening up the messaging app, I notice a mixture of chats from Fang, Reed, and Stella.
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I hate myself for it, but I only want to hear from one of them. Might as well. I deserve to feel like shit after what I did today.
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My thumb hovers over Stella's name for a long time before I open the conversation. Only one message, no older than from an hour ago.
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[Stella]
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*going 2 bed. how u doin?*
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My first instinct is to respond with ‘bad.’ I think about something else to type, but no matter how I rack it, my brain can’t come up with anything else. So with my shoulders sagging in defeat, I type out my reply.
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[Anon]
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*bad*
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I hit send and switch over to the other messages while I wait for Stella to reply. Assuming she’s still even awake at this hour. I first check Reed’s messages. He’s sent me quite a few throughout the day.
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[Reed]
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*Your classes are over, right?*
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[Reed]
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*Bro?*
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[Reed]
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*Hey man, I can't keep Fang here forever*
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[Reed]
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*Bro!*
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[Reed]
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*Where are you?*
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[Reed]
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*K she's gone home*
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[Reed]
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*Did you talk with Stella?*
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[Reed]
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*How did it go?*
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[Reed]
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*Dude, what's happening?*
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The last message was from five hours ago. Reed seems to have given up after that.
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Next, I scroll over to Fang’s messages. I hesitate at opening her message. My heart feels like it wants to tear itself out of my chest and beat me up for even daring to think about her after the shit I did today.
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Bracing myself for the shit emotions I was about to incur on myself, I opened Fang’s messages.
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[Fang]
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*ye okay i cant come over anyway coz dads a dick*
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[Fang]
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*ugh im gonna kill reed >:V*
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[Fang]
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*and naser too*
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[Fang]
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*how was ur day btw?*
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I contemplate sending ‘bad’ to her too. Then I'd have to explain why my day was so shit, though, and that would lead me to say something that would result in both of us suffering. I consider typing in some neutral-sounding bullshit instead. As I start forming what exact words I should type, Stella's reply arrives.
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Once again, I'm disgusted by how fast I switch over to her from Fang. And yet, there's that unmistakable feeling of excitement in my stomach again, like something—anything—regarding Stella made me feel alive...
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[Stella]
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*aww!! want me to send something to make u feel better? <3*
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Do I? “I don't even know anymore,” I whisper to myself as I bitterly chuckle.
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Wasting not another second, I type out my next reply with the same desperation of a thirsty man crawling towards water.
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[Anon]
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*how r u feeling?*
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[Stella]
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*hot ;)*
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[Anon]
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*srsly*
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[Stella]
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*yeh ;)*
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[Anon]
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*no i mean seriously how are you?*
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Half a second after I hit send, I feel some regret over my question. A part of me dreads what kind of long reply Stella will type out. Knowing her, it might even involve a miniature tarot reading.
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To my surprise, her next reply is short.
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[Stella]
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*im rewatching gurren lagann, my fav mech shw*
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[Stella]
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*do u like it?*
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“Wow... what a pleb,” I find myself whispering. Sure, TTGL had its moments of awesome—like the fight with Lordgenome at the end of the first half, or them activating the moon-sized ship, or the war with the Anti-Spirals near the end, oh, and King Kittan’s glorious dying moment of badassness! I can still hear his final words as he’s disintegrated by the ensuing explosion of his Giga Drill Break...
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I pause for a second and laugh to myself. Okay, maybe I was a bigger fan than I thought. “Still, my taste is mecha is ultimately better because I—” I cut myself off as I remember what my current situation was. That was not what I asked her.
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Could she be having second thoughts? If so, kinda late for that...
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[Anon]
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*not what i asked*
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I typed out. It takes Stella about a minute to send her reply.
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[Stella]
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*can I ask u a question?*
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[Stella]
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*on the roof what did u mean I ruin others lives?*
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Oh... That.
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Fuck.
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A part of me hoped she had forgotten all about that exchange. I couldn’t blame her for remembering, though. It wasn’t exactly the nicest thing to tell someone who had finished giving you a throat fucking. Hell, even if sex wasn’t involved, it was still a pretty shitty thing to say.
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Just like that, I'm feeling like a waste of society again! I’m sure good at eliciting that feeling from myself.
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[Anon]
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*i didnt mean that*
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I type out in the slight hope that my words actually do something other than hurt people.
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[Stella]
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*really?*
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[Anon]
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*yes im sorry*
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[Stella]
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*but then why don't I have friends?*
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[Stella]
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*why don't I have a boyfriend?*
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I have no answer to either of Stella’s questions. I mean, what can I say to her that she doesn't already know? ‘It's because you're so weird.’ She has to know that. Pretty sure that I've heard Rosa say that to her as well. I'm also sure that I have as well. On many occasions, no less…
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I let out a groan flop back on my bed. I have no high ground here. Getting me to cheat on Fang notwithstanding, Stella’s been nothing but pleasant to me up to this point. She even gave me a fucking blowjob, for Raptor Jesus’s sake. You cannot be nicer to someone than giving them a blowjob!
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I’m suddenly startled when my phone rings. At first, I’m mortified by the prospect of Fang calling me so late. Had she somehow found out? Was she calling to rightfully lay all kinds of insults on me for being such an asshole?
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Swallowing hard, I bring up my phone and ready myself for the hell that was to follow. To my surprise, it’s Stella who’s calling, not Fang.
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With a sigh of relief, I pick up the call and put the phone to my ear. “Uh... hey?” I start, careful not to let my previous fears show in my voice.
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“Hey, Anon. I'm not bothering you, am I?”
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‘What, like for the last 24 hours? Nah!’ I think, almost forming those words in my mouth before deciding that I shouldn’t be an asshole to the first person I’ve spoken to in hours. “Nah. Don't worry about it!”
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“Um…” Stella remarks on her end, almost as if she was about to say something else but then goes silent. My mind then starts filling the silence with images of her fidgeting from side to side or using her free hand to shred a napkin or something similar. It takes me a bit, but eventually, I’m able to catch the sound of her breathing in the background. Maybe it's my mind playing tricks, but I swear that her breaths have a raspy undertone to them, almost like she had just finished crying.
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At the idea of Stella weeping, I feel a block of ice hit my stomach. I didn't know it was possible for me to feel worse, but remembering my outburst on the rooftop makes me wish I was six feet under already. I have no idea how she could take that so calmly. Although maybe she didn't. But still, Stella went out of her way to point out that I need a reality check like she knows how relationships work. Sure, she could have been bullshitting me so I keep her as a side piece, but there seems to be more to it. It's too sudden for her to be all moody and shit after that.
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“Why can't I have friends, Anon? Why am I such a freak?!” Stella shouts at me. Something happened to her, and it probably wasn’t pleasant.
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‘HOL UP,’ I think as my mind stops to really think about it. Rosa definitely would not have a crying Stella within five feet of her. The only way for Stella to be a crying, shouting mess was if Rosa’s nowhere near to either support or scold the shit out of Stella. That, or Stella isn't in the dorms at all.
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Despite knowing that only pain lies that way, I decide that Stella needs a bit of support, even if it comes from someone as shitty and idiotic as me.
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“Did you have a fight with Rosa?” I bluntly question Stella.
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“H-how did you—Wait, d-did s—she tell you? Is that why you messaged me?” Stella stuttered, her voice barely able to maintain some semblance of comprehension.
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I find myself scowling at Stella’s question. “What? No. You messaged me first, remember?”
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There is a pause from Stella’s end before I hear what sounds like a gasp. “Oh. Right…” she says before going quiet again.
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“So… what happened?” I ask, all the while asking myself why I even cared in the first place.
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“I-it wasn't a fight. Not really... Um…” Stella again pauses, and I hear what sounds like a strained and wobbly inhale. “...Some of Rosa's friends came over ‘cause they were going out for a girl’s night out, and Rosa… she wanted me to come along, but I didn't want to ‘cause I didn't want to ruin their fun with my weirdness. Rosa being Rosa wouldn't let it go, and she said something mean and I got mad and said something mean back to her, and then they left and I stayed and I feel soooo bad now!”
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It honestly doesn't sound that bad, and yet... Rosa said something mean to her? That would be a first. Rosa’s usual go-to is the shoe—or ‘chancla’ as I’ve heard her say a couple dozen times by now—so it had to be something fucked up to get Stella this upset. More so than me telling her to kill herself.
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I'm scared to even ask, but I have to know. “W-what did Rosa say to you?”
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“She said that if I don't go, I'll just waste my life watching anime! Like that's a bad thing!"
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I'm certain that my sigh—albeit internal—is powerful enough to get picked up on radar and a few AM radio stations. Then it hits me like a baseball bat to the back of the head. No matter how laughable and trivial it sounded, Rosa had offhandedly confessed to not only not caring for Stella's main area of interest but actively condemning it. That she sees herself better than Stella, who is ‘just a weeb,’ something I’m willing to bet my left testicle she would never ever let slip. Considering that Rosa seems to be Stella’s only friend, I understand how this could leave a deep wound in the stego’s heart. After all, I’m a firsthand witness to how much she cares about anime. Cringey or not, phase or not—outgrow it she might—for the here and now, it was important to her, and thus it's important to me.
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‘Wait. What was that last part?’ My mind asks as I run over my previous thoughts. ‘It’s, uh… important to Stella. Yes. Important to her.’
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“I... see…” I say, not sure how else I can properly word what I’m feeling. “So uh, what did you say to her?” I ask, only to realize seconds later that it was probably still an extremely sore subject that Stella did not want to relieve in any way, shape, or form.
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I wince internally but keep hoping that maybe it was something silly. Instead, I’m met with silence. A long ass fucking silence that slowly starts filling me with dread. When almost a minute passes with only Stella’s strained breathing as her only response, I know that whatever it was, it was terrible enough for Rosa to storm out in a fury. I can’t imagine what would bring such rage from such an ordinarily pleasant and pious girl, but I keep my mouth shut about it.
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I’m honestly at a total loss on what to say or do next. I can't make this right or magic up some friends for Stella, not to mention that I should keep my distance because of the whole cheating on Fang with her thing. That last part really makes all this a whole lot more confusing than it needs to be. Like, how can I help someone with whom I cheated on my girlfriend?
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I guess the only thing to do now is to make Stella feel better by being friendly, supportive, and DEFINITELY not flirty so that she won't take it the wrong way. Make her know that she matters, nothing more…
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“Well, if it makes you feel any better, I totally jerked off to the pics you sent me yesterday.”
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What. The. Actual. FUCK is wrong with me? Maybe there's a reason why I write drafts before ordering a pizza.
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EVASIVE MANEUVERS
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DAMAGE CONTROL
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DAMAGE CONTROL
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“Er, I mean, do a tarot card reading for me?” I meekly ask, hoping to god that Stella didn’t quite catch my last sentence.
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“Y-you did?” Stella asks me, her voice suddenly filled with renewed vigor that I could practically feel even on the other side of the phone.
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“Let's pretend you didn't hear that,” I reply in a futile attempt to dig my way out of the hole I had unearthed for myself.
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WHAT WAS I THINKING!
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“T-that's... kinda hot, Anon…” Stella says in a sultry tone.
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NOOOOOOOOOOOOO
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MORE DAMAGE CONTROL
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I let out a feigned laugh. “I'm joking!”
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“...Oh,” Stella starts, her tone somehow sounding twice as miserable as before. “S-so... you didn't like them?”
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MAXIMUM DAMAGE CONTROL MODE ENGAGE
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“No!” I state, all the while laughing as heartily as I can fake it. “Not one bit! Like how could I, right?! They were terrible!”
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I hear what sounds like a gasp and the start of a wail as the call abruptly ends.
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I blink a couple of times, not quite sure about what had happened. Gradually, my mind starts unfucking itself, and the total weight of my words overwhelms me like a tidal wave of shame.
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I drop the phone on the bed and let out a frustrated scream, all the while grabbing the sides of my head. “Great job, Anon! Now she must think that she's a freak AND ugly!” I shout to the walls. I’m very tempted to punch myself in the face, but I’d have to be drunk, high, or drunk AND high to actually bypass the mental inhibitors preventing me from doing that. Still, the desire doesn’t go away one bit as I bask in my achievement in assholism.
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Once I’ve partially composed myself, I reach out for my phone and try calling Stella back. In my mind, I’m desperately hoping that the call dropped because of a shitty signal. When she doesn’t answer, that hope's shattered. ‘Well, okay. Maybe Rosa will cheer her up, right?’ I think only to remember that Rosa was off somewhere else and also pissed off at Stella. ‘Oh, fuck me with a red-hot poker!’ I try calling again, still no answer. My words from the rooftop start echoing in my mind.
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*Maybe you should just fucking neck yourself!*
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“She—Stella’s not seriously about to—” I cut off my own words. The mental image of a Stella hanging from one of her room’s support beams pops into my mind, her neck bruised and bloody, her eyes glassed over yet somehow still managing to direct an accusatory gaze at me for what I made her do...
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“Fuck! What's the time?” I shout as I practically tackle my nightstand to grab my alarm clock. Two in the fucking morning.
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I drop the clock and panic. No way buses are running at this hour. I can try running there, but even at a non-stop sprint, it would take me at least half an hour. By that time, it might already be too late to stop Stella from…
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No, that's too much time! I try the phone again. Once more, my own terrible words echo back to me...
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*Maybe you should just fucking neck yourself!*
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Not only is there no answer from Stella’s phone, but it seems like she turned it off. That or she blocked me.
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In desperation, I dial the next phone in my mind and hope to Raptor Jesus that I’m able to get her to pick up.
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Almost as if the powers above want to cut me some slack, the call gets picked up almost immediately. “An-on? What is up?” Rosa asks in a far more positive way than I would expect.
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Wasting not one single precious second, I lunch into my following words with reckless abandon. “Rosa! Please, listen to me! I think Stella's about to—”
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“Stella? ¡Fucking PUTA! ¡MALDITA SEA LA MADRE QUE LA PARIO!" Rosa starts shouting in Spanish with such seething fury that I’m absolutely lost for words. Whatever it was that Stella and Rosa fought about had to be utterly catastrophic...
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I grimace as I bring the phone’s receiver closer to my mouth. “YOU'RE NOT LISTENING, ROSA! SHE'S GONNA KI—”
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“¡QUE ESA PUTA SE VAYA A LA CHINGADA! ¡QUE SE LA COJA EL DIABLO POR EL CULO, CABRONA! PENDEJA! GITANA!"
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In a rage, I take a deep breath and shout as loud as my lungs will allow, “SHE’S GOING TO KILL HERSELF!!”
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My words completely shut Rosa up, but I can still hear her heavy breathing from the other end of the line.
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I take the initiative brought about by the silence to add more to my point. “I tried talking to Stella earlier, but I fucked up real bad. Now I think she’s going to fucking kill herself!”
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More silence before Rosa lets out a shout that causes me to recoil. “¡SE LO MERECE!”
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When I manage to bring the phone back to my ear, I don't hear anything. “Hello? Rosa!” I shout into the receiver fruitlessly. I try redialing Rosa’s number, only for the call to go straight to voicemail.
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I punch the nearest wall in frustration, not even caring that I wind up leaving a small dent on the cheap plaster.
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FUCK IT
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With no options left, I quickly tap out another number on my phone and press the call button. As I do, I grab my jacket and fly out of my apartment, not even caring if I properly lock the door on the way out. As I head down the stairs and into the lobby, the phone picks up as I think the call wouldn’t go through.
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“Volcaldera Taxi service. How can I help ya?”
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“H-hello? Yes. I… I seriously fucked up! There’s not much time left! I’m curr—”
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“Got it, kid. Be there in a sec.”
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“But you don’t eve—” I stop talking when my phone announces that the call’s ended. My heart starts racing again as I start typing the number again with shaky fingers.
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Before I can hit the send button, I hear the sound of screeching tires. Seconds later, a familiar taxi pulls up in front of me. Not even caring that the cab had magically appeared in front of me when I needed it most, I race for the back door and basically jump inside.
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“Hey, if it ain’t my favorite skinnie!” The driver, a familiar yellow velociraptor sporting a wide toothy grin and a very pointy brown mustacheless goatee, greets me. “Surprised when ya called me this late at night,” He added, all the while raising one of his long, bushy, and curly eyebrows. He quickly sized me up, his expression turning dour. “Don’t take this the wrong way, kid, but ya look real agitated. Everything alright?”
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I shake my head in response. “I need to get to Volcano High as fast as you can!” I shout, not really able to keep my cool. “She’s gonna… she’s gonna… gonna...” I put a hand on my eyes as I try to keep myself from crying in frustration.
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The driver doesn’t even wait for me to finish my words as he sets his car to drive and takes off like a bat out of hell. “Say no more, kid. We’re movin’.”
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I’m almost too deep in terrible thoughts to notice how fast the taxi’s going. Every few seconds, I try calling Stella, only to meet with an endless amount of ringing. Only when I put the phone down to try and keep my heart from exploding from the fear do I notice how the driver’s driving like he’s on a mission. He’s not traveling down the standard roads. Instead, he opts for back roads and cutting through alleyways, all places where there are barely any traffic lights or stop signs from hindering his momentum. As a result, a trip that would have easily taken ten minutes wind up only being five as he makes one last turn and comes up not in front of the school as I would have expected, but instead only a few meters away from the dorm building itself.
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“‘Aight skinnie, end of the line,” he says in a serious tone. “Be real careful now, ya hear?”
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I again nod and reach into my pocket to fish out whatever cash I had on hand. Before I do, the driver puts up a hand and shakes his head. “Ya can pay me later. Just go get her!” he says, all the while motioning with his head.
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Wasting not another second, I again nod and exit the cab, sprinting the rest of the distance to the dorms. Only when I catch the cab backing up and driving off in my peripheral vision, do I wonder how the driver knew exactly where to go and what my goal was.
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I swear, one of these days, I’m going to get some answers from that cabby...
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As I near the front gates of the building, I notice that there’s no commotion outside. I feel a small wave of relief as I realize that no crowds of sobbing teens mean Stella hasn’t jumped off the roof or anything dramatic like that. That didn’t change the possibility that she killed herself in her room, though.
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The thought pushes me to jog faster. I almost make it inside, too, before someone tackles me out of nowhere.
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“Now hold your horses, boy! Where the hell do you think you're going?” A gruff yet surprisingly young voice asks me. I turn to face the source and wind up staring eye to eye with what looks like some kind of purple crocodilian dinosaur. As expected, he wore a black and white guard’s uniform. Yet, the sleeves look ripped to better accommodate some very intimidating muscles. “We’re closed for the night.”
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Fuck, I should have known they'd have security...
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I try my best to wriggle out of the guard’s grip. “You gotta let me in! She’s—”
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The guard guffaws as he effortlessly picks me off the ground while still managing to keep me in a bear hug. “Oh, I'm sure that you’ll be able to work this out with your girlfriend. In the morning.”
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“SHE'S ABOUT TO FUCKING KILL HERSELF!” I end up frantically shouting as loud as my lungs will allow me. “YOU HAVE TO LET ME IN!”
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The guard stops in his tracks, obviously taken aback by my words. He loosened his grip on me and put me down, but he hovers a hand over his nightstick while keeping me square in his sights. “What are you talking about?”
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I point to the dorm building. “S-Stella!” I shout, though not as loud earlier. “Stella is going to fucking neck herself, you meteor dodging bastard!”
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The guard grimaced as he draws his nightstick out, which he points at my face. “I’m going to ignore that comment about being a meteor dodger, you little twerp,” he says, all the while glaring daggers at me. He looks like he doesn't know whether to break my jaw or throw me right into the bushes. Maybe both, in that order.
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I don’t have time to even think of something witty to reply with. Every second now, Stella could be closer to death.
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Before I can say or do anything else, the guard grabs me by the shoulder, digs his claws enough to cause me pain, and shoves me into his security booth. “You stay put. I'm going to make an announcement. This better not be a fucking joke, you hear me?” He gives me the dead eyes. As if I fucking cared.
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The guard walks up to the console command on his booth and presses a button. Soon as he does, the PA system cracks to life and the guard's voice booms over the empty corridors. “Stella! Come to the front entrance immediately!”
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I'm left absolutely dumbfounded by the guard’s decision. I set him with a furious glare. “Are you fucking high!? She's not gonna come here if she's dead!”
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“Watch your mouth, kid,” he snaps, once again pointing his nightstick at me. “What's your name?” He asks in a commanding voice.
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“What? I—” I cut myself off and grimace. “Anon Mous. My name is Anon Mous."
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The guard grunts and returns to the PA one more time. “Stella, come to the entrance. Anon is here for you.”
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My heart skips a beat. Oh, that's great. Now the whole damn school will know that I visited Stella’s dorm! I can already imagine the rumors that will spring up from this. Fuck, if it gets bad enough, I might not be able to show my face in public without someone taking the piss out of it. It will be Rock Bottom all over again!
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‘No,’ I think to myself as I put any and all repercussions that may arise from this. ‘As long as it means that Stella’s okay, I’ll fucking walk through fiery coals while juggling chainsaws!’
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The guard let out a snort. “Fucking teenagers in love,” he whispers with a very soft guffaw. He glances at me and shakes his head. “Anybody ever tell you that you mumble?”
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I don’t answer. I instead set my full attention to the cameras on the guard’s booth. As nothing seems to happen for almost a full minute, I start getting more and more nervous. I occasionally shoot a glance towards the guard, who, despite his attempts at looking calm and collected, also shows subtle signs of anxiety. With each passing second, my desire to run into the building grows. To hell any kind of law I break. Stella’s life was more important.
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Thankfully, it doesn’t come to that as Stella’s figure appears in one of the cameras. As I gaze upon the grainy yet very much alive figure of the stegosaur, a tremendous weight lifts off my shoulder. I sniff as I clear some waterworks that have started building in my eyes. ‘She's okay. She's alive. Thank fuck! I don't even care if I'm getting arrested now...’
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The guard lets out another snort as he stows his nightstick away. Despite his still visible grimace, I can see that his eyes have softened. Perhaps he too was glad that no one was in any immediate danger?
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The guard and I watch as Stella makes her way to the gate in silence. A dozen doors open all over the place, but nobody stops her. Once she gets close enough, the guard motions for me to follow. I'm practically on the crock’s heels. As soon as Stella is through the main gates, I rush up to her, embracing her in the tightest hug I have ever given anyone that isn’t my mother.
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“A-Anon? What's going on?” She asks, confusion clear in her voice.
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“Oh god, oh fuck! You're alright!” I shout, no longer caring that my eyes are overflowing with tears.
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Stella doesn't know how to respond to my words or actions. I don't fault her for that. Still, she returns the hug, if a bit awkwardly at first. A second later, she tightens her embrace, and I can feel something wet forming on my shoulder.
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The guard clears his throat, at once reminding us where we were and what kind of situation we were in.
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“Okay, would either of you mind telling me what’s all this about?” He asks as he crosses his arms.
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I let out a sigh, preparing myself to face the music. “I was wrong...?”
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The guard raises an eyebrow at me. “Yeah. No shit, Romeo.” He looks at his watch and sighs. “So here's what’s going to happen next. I'm going to write a detailed report of how a certain skinnie caused a disturbance late at night.” He let out a bit of steam through his nose as he fixed me with a glare. “I’ll leave out some of your more… colorful language, or the fact that you believed your girlfriend was going to, how’d you put it? ‘Neck herself,’” he adds with a slightly smug grin that somehow reminds me of Trish’s. I feel Stella uncomfortably shift next to me, but I barely pay it any mind. “You’re definitely going to talk to Principal Spears in the morning, and he’s not going to be happy about this at all.”
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I swallowed hard at that. Tomorrow was going to be hell. In more ways than one...
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The guard turns his attention to Stella next and gives her a stern glower. “While I write that report and sort out some other bull, you two take whatever the hell this is up to your room.” He leans down and points a finger to Stella’s face, all the while narrowing his eyes. “No funny business from either of you or so help me I will make your boyfriend an actual offender in that report. Am I clear?"
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Stella and I once again swallow hard. Glancing at each other for a quick confirmation, we then looked to the guard and nod in understanding.
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The guard’s lips rise slightly as he points to the dormitories. “Go. Fix whatever relationship bullshit you two have going on, and don't make a racket!”
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We don't need to hear the guard's command twice. Stella and I booked it back into the building. As we did, I swear I hear the guard once again guffaw to himself...
​
​
* * *
​
With the guard’s words still bouncing around in our heads, Stella and I take our walk of shame back up to her room. The stares of the lingering strands of students practically drill holes through us. I'm sure half the school already knows what I've done tonight. The rest will know In the morning, including Fang. That was assuming she didn’t already know from someone like Trish. I bitterly chuckle and think about how much joy that pint-sized terror of a trigger will have rubbing this mess on my face. I can almost imagine her words now: *‘See? What’d I tell you? This skinnie was bad news from the start!’*
​
I roll my eyes at my own imagined image of Trish, even though some part of me knows she’s absolutely right.
​
With a weary sigh, I turn off my phone. I don’t know if I’m making another mistake, but something tells me not having the device active is the smart thing to do right now. I’m actually surprised the thing hasn’t been going off non-stop. By some minor miracle, all the people that mattered had yet to become aware of my escalating levels of incompetence. Something told me my luck was officially spent.
​
From this moment on, I’m on my own, and it’s time for me to pay the piper...
​
Neither Stella nor myself speak for the rest of our trek. Not even after we duck into Stella’s room and away from all the other student’s puzzled or annoyed gazes do we exchange a word. As Stella locks her door with a loud click of its mechanism, I’m instantly hit with a level of silence I didn’t think was possible based on the last few hours of my life.
​
Despite wanting to keep my attention on Stella, I can’t help but look around her room again. A part of me expected to find it almost in the same configuration from two nights prior. Instead, it’s practically unrecognizable.
​
Sure, the dorm wasn't tidy the last time I was there, but now it has shit thrown around everywhere. More clothes, books, cards, linen from both beds. I can even see the side of a laptop jutting out from under a cupboard at an angle that surely isn't within the bounds of ‘intended use.’ The desks, too, have almost all their shelves pulled out and thrown about. The room looks like it had gotten ransacked by government spooks looking for incriminating evidence. Makes me wonder if this is the result of Stella’s fight with Rosa or if it happened after.
​
With no other place aside from the cluttered floor, we sit down on the remains of Rosa's bed. Stella looks awkward and unsure, like a doe suddenly startled by a pair of high-beam headlights. Her hair, her mascara, it’s also a reflection of the room before us. In other circumstances, I would have found her raw, almost primal look appealing, but I keep my mouth shut about such things for the time being. This has got to be about her worst day ever, and the last thing she needs is some horny asshole making her feel any worse. I can't help but notice her cute pajamas, though. The best way I can describe them is ‘girly.’ Like what a six-year-old would wear, complete with a mosaic pattern of teddy bears.
​
I'm so lost in the examination that I almost miss her soft voice. “Anon, what is going on? Why are you here?”
​
With a deep sigh, I rack my brain for answers. “I, like, when the call—and then when I and Rosa then, so—and I'm here!” I fumble through my words so hard that I can’t help but cringe at my own butchery of the English language.
​
Stella raises an eyebrow and tilts her head to the side. “W-what?”
​
Right. Let's try that again. This time with less retardation.
​
“When you hung up, I, uh… I remembered how I shouted at you on the roof… and that you’re fucked up now, and that Rosa won't be here… and I thought that you'd, like, want to… and so then I here but the dude, like, the guard dude wouldn't, and then—”
​
“Anon, stop!” Stella shouts, all the while grabbing my arm and staring into my eyes with her beautiful light blue orbs. “You're not making sense again!”
​
I take yet another deeper breath to give it another go. Before I can even speak a single word, Stella stops me, putting a finger over my lips.
​
“I… think I get the gist of it,” she whispers, all the while looking away, cheeks turning a shade of pink and her eyes growing slightly shimmery. “I'm... sorry...”
​
Now it’s my turn to look baffled. “What?” I say, unable to maintain a calm disposition. “B-but I'm the one that fucked up everything!”
​
Stella lets out a bitter mournful chuckle. “No, Anon, you didn’t fuck anything...” She shifts her eyes to the side, almost as if she can’t bring herself to look me straight in the eye anymore. “If… if it wasn't for me, you would be at home happily sleeping. Hell, you'd probably be with Fang right now!” She sighs, her eyes welling up with fresh tears. “It's like you said on the rooftop... all I do is ruin others’ lives...”
​
I open my mouth to utter a protest, but Stella shifts her finger already on my lips and ends up covering my mouth with her hand.
​
Guess after my eloquent speech, it's her turn to talk.
​
“You were right that I shouldn't have... I shouldn't have kissed you a-and… I shouldn't have done any of the things that I did...” She shuts her eyes tight and lets her built-up tears flow down her face before once again looking me directly in the eyes. “But I was so happy that I finally found someone that doesn't think anime is a waste of time!”
​
Something told me that this wasn’t about anime. At least not anymore...
​
Stella gingerly removes her hand from my mouth and uses it to grab hold of her arm. “I… knew that you’re with Fang… but I was so caught up with the idea of finally having a boyfriend that I could talk to and who would care for stuff I care about that I just...” She lets out a strained sob, but as she does, her expression turns warm and caring. “Then that night… you messaged me, and I… was so happy!" She again shuts her eyes and turns away from me. “...But then all that stuff you said on the roof… I know you took it back, but I knew that you were right. Nobody wants to be my friend, not for real! Even with you, I was...” The dam finally breaks, and Stella lets out a mournful wail as she buries her face in her hands. “I'm such a homewrecker!” she shrieks before burying her face on my chest, her tears and runny mascara leaving a messy stain on my shirt.
​
I desperately want to interject before Stella gets to the murder-suicide part. Still, something tells me that I shouldn’t interrupt. Like I once did with Fang, this is Stella’s chance at some introspection. The only thing I can do is support her.
​
Without thinking, without caring that her words rang true or that a part of me still felt anger at her machinations, I wrapped her in a tight embrace.
​
Stella’s crying calms a bit as she falls deeper into my hug. “You still wouldn't want me to… to go... and you're here now too... and I...” She again locks her exuberant eyes with mine, slowly inching her face closer with every passing second. “I…” she whispers again as our faces come within a single inch of each other. I can't help but sit there, frozen to the core, as she closes the gap between us and presses her strawberry-flavored lips against mine.
​
The kiss, same as the last one, starts slow and awkward. But whereas Stella pulled away last time, she now doubles down on it. I can feel a dexterous tongue slither into my mouth, and any resistance I might have had melts right away. Every fiber, every atom of my body, knows how wrong this is. But I don’t care anymore. At that moment, Stella and I were one and the same.
​
Our hands find each other, and our fingers intertwine. I lay back on the bed, and Stella gets on top of me. The kiss breaks merely so we can get some oxygen. Her hot breath is driving me crazy in a way that I have never experienced in my life. I look into her eyes, and she looks back at me. We both know that we should stop. Hell, that we shouldn't have done any of this, to begin with. But our lives are forfeit already. Soon, the whole school will know of our forbidden relationship. Soon, we will both become social pariahs with no one but each other for company. Our future couldn’t look bleaker, yet as we stared into each other’s eyes, we came to the realization that as long as we had each other, the rest of the world could go fuck itself.
​
Not a second passes, and we've connected again, silently confirming that there are no breaks on this train. Not anymore.
​
Our hands drift apart and start to explore all the fun new places. Stella’s scales are smooth to the touch and radiate heat, and once and for all confirming to me that dinos are warm-blooded. It doesn't take me long to figure out that she's not wearing a bra as my hand slowly travels up Stella’s chest, upon which I feel a lump of scaled flesh waiting and eager to be caressed. The sensation is difficult to describe. It feels so lovely and warm. Plump, but with the right amount of perkiness.
​
Meanwhile, Stella has settled into a kind of a missionary position. Or reverse missionary. As I continue kissing her and caressing her breast, she starts grinding up a storm against my jeans. My already hard dick only grows harder until my pants start feeling like they are prisons for my manhood. Yet, rather than causing her to slow, the feeling of my dick rubbing against her womanhood drives Stella further and further into lust. It isn't long until her entire nether regions become wet.
​
With one final twist of her tongue, Stella breaks our kiss and fixes me with a look of barely restrained lust. “Anon... I want it... I want you...”
​
Oh, sweet merciful Raptor Jesus. That's fucking hot.
​
She again swoops down to kiss me, only this one feels deeper than the last. Her tongue once more overpowers mine as she assumes direct control over me in such a way that I cannot—and will not—dispute. The muscles that make up her tongue flick around inside of my mouth as I rub against its underside with my own, reflexively suckling on the invading limb. I’m absolutely shocked at how much longer her tongue’s compared to mine as it not only dances whole musical numbers around mine, but does so in such a way that I don’t even feel like I’m getting a raw deal out of it. By this point, she has taken control, and I’m tagging along for the ride of my life.
​
Stella and I awkwardly break our kiss up so I can take her shirt off. It would have been nice to have a look at her like that, but feeling her bare breasts press up against my chest is its own reward. As she moves to again kiss me deeply, I think about the fact that I’m still fully clothed. ‘We should get on the undressing me situation,'' I think as I kick my shoes off my feet. “C-could you, um...?” I motion for Stella to move so I can take off my shirt. She tries, but we don't manage it. I can't do it while laying down on the bed like I am.
​
“Maybe we should…” Stella starts getting off me so I can at least sit up. It’s at that point that I finally get a good look at her boobs. She has two of them. They're green. The right one points to the side a little.
​
As I stare at the lime green goddess before me, I can’t help but think of a single phrase to utter: “You're beautiful…”
​
Stella gazes upon me with her beautiful light-blue eyes. There's unmistakable moisture covering them. They fog up as her cheeks turn a pretty shade of pink. “Get naked already! Geez...” she giggles bashfully. The contrast between her nervous fidgeting against the top-slut-tier blowjob on the roof is day and night. I don't get what's the difference, but I don't mind. Maybe that was ‘Bad Bitch Stella,’ and this is the real Stella?
​
We both end up undressing. Separately. It’s awkward, to say the least. But damn, being naked with a girl is way too exciting. Our faces are so red that you'd think we ran a marathon.
​
Stella returns to me, dropping her panties before straddling me again. Her body, all of a sudden, feels warmer than before, the sensation of the tip of her scales ever so slightly biting into my skin an exciting, alien one. There's unmistakable moisture covering them.
​
We lay back again, joined in a slow but passionate kiss. She reaches for my dick, but her hand jolts back as soon as she touches it. Once, twice, three times. In the end, I grab her hand and compulsorily yet gently wrap her fingers around my soldier. Her breath shortens, and every muscle in her body tenses up. It doesn't last more than a second, though, and soon she's lining my dick up with her pussy.
​
Now it's my body that stiffens, the tip touching the puffy, eager lips of her womanhood. For a fraction of a moment, the sane part of my mind wonders how Stella and I got to where we are now. What choices led two barely functional weebs to a night of unrestrained passion before the shitstorm of their own making?
​
Whatever the reason, it wasn't important anymore. The only thing that matters now is accepting the feelings we have for one another and finishing this dance...
​
Wordlessly, I move my hands to Stella’s hip for encouragement. She gives me one last look of hesitation, almost as if her own brain is running through the very same thoughts I had finished putting aside. I only stretch up and plant a kiss on her lips as a sign of encouragement.
​
Instinctively I hold my breath. Stella does the same. Slowly, ever so slowly, she descends. Little by little, my dick enters her pussy. Stella raises her head up to the heavens as she lets out a slow and steady moan.
​
Meanwhile, I have no idea how to describe the sensation surrounding my little soldier other than ‘warm.’ Lines from various doujins and smuts flood my mind. Terms like ‘velvety insides’ and ‘so hot I'm melting.’ I feel kinda let down; it feels wet and warm, but it's not like I've expected those to be documentaries. Although as she pushes my dick deeper and deeper, it really starts—
​
Yeah, it—
​
Oh.
​
Oh, it—
​
WOW!
​
“Ohfuckmethisfeelsamazing!” I shout at the top of my lungs as my grip tightens around Stella’s hips, which prompts her to stop with a surprised yelp.
​
“A-are you okay? I-is this okay?!” she asks, her face so flushed that I'm legit afraid for her brain.
​
“Y-yeah. Is it okay for you?” I ask despite my brain telling me to start trusting with reckless abandon.
​
Stella bites the bottom of her lip and nods but doesn't go any lower than she already was. I pull her into another kiss, and we settle into a lustful yet awkward rhythm. Our movement even out as we get into it, and I risk going in a little deeper into her.
​
Stella suddenly stops and winces in pain “A-ah... F-fuck…” she whimpers as her body once more quakes.
​
I try backing away, panicked, but she keeps me pinned down. Then I feel it.
​
At first, I feel that something weird’s going on down there. Like it got warmer and wetter. I glance down to see what is happening, and then I see it.
​
Blood.
​
My brain freezes. I didn't even consider that Stella could be a virgin like me. Not after that pro of a blowjob she gave me on the roof.
​
I want to apologize, but somehow I feel like that'd make it worse. There are tears in her eyes now, and she's still trying to gulp the pain down. She's not looking sad about it, however. In fact, despite her obvious discomfort, she gives me a bright, almost grateful smile. She slows to a halt, running her hand through my scalp lovingly. In return, I hug her tightly, careful not to make her hurt more. Her disheveled hair sticks to her face on several spots, mascara running all over the place. Her eyes are still red from crying, though the rest of her face matches in color now. Nothing short of an absolute mess. Still, at that moment, I feel closer to her than to anyone else in the world. I'm not even sure what to think about that, but I do know that I don't want to think about its deeper implications. Not now.
​
Right now, I'm… Happy?
​
‘Yeah… Yeah, definitely!’ I reassure myself. I'm happy to have made Stella happy. Even in an idiotic manner like this. No. It's not even idiotic. Pushing in all the way like in the pornos? Okay, THAT was idiotic. But taking her virginity? No. I'm not regretting that, and I never will. Relationship drama can go to hell!
​
I can't even comprehend what it must mean for Stella. She's given everything to me, and I'm happy about it. I'm accepting HER, the weird occult-shit-loving tarot-card-reading astrology-believer weeb stego that she is. Can't help but smile at that, like she is. Besides, I've practically already given my life up for her. We're just a couple of idiots, admitting it to each other. Nothing in our lives is more important than the other, not in the here and now. I know that blurting out ‘I love you’ would probably ruin everything, but I'm not far from saying it.
​
Sadly, the moment doesn't last forever. Her smile drops, rugged breaths testament to the prolonged pain she's enduring. ‘Must be uh, a good pain, I guess,’ I think in a futile attempt at levity. We stay connected for a bit before she collapses onto me. There's a pitiful attempt on her part to bounce up and down, but she can't keep that up for more than a few seconds.
​
“Um... Could we... Switch places?” Stella meekly asks, almost as if expecting me to shout at her in anger.
​
“W-we can stop if—”
​
“No!” she snaps almost in reflex. “I… I don't want to stop...”
​
Stella gives me a peck on the lips, then gets up. Her stiff, jerky movements show that she's still obviously in pain. She lays down facing upwards, and I get on top of her. We start going at it missionary style, but her face contorts painfully with every one of my thrusts. She tries kissing me again to distract me, but by that point, it’s evident to me that something’s wrong. After about a minute, she gently pushes me away and excuses herself to the bathroom.
​
I sit on the bed quietly. Whatever lust-induced bravado I had leaves me as I suddenly start feeling like shit. I try not to overthink the situation as I wait for Stella to return to me. Instead, I quickly jack off and finish before wiping myself off from the various body fluids and search for my boxers among the piles of other discarded clothes. When I find them, I quickly put them back on before returning to sit on the bed.
​
A few minutes later, Stella returns to the bed wearing a pair of fresh panties. She sits down next to me, avoiding eye contact. “I'm… I’m sorry that I fucked this up too…” she whispers in the most devastated voice imaginable.
​
I put a hand on her shoulder in a show of support. “Hey, it's okay. I'm sorry too. I… wasn't thinking.”
​
Stella looks me in the eye and gives me a warm, albeit weak, smile. I pull her into a hug, and we lay back on the bed, cuddling. We stay like that for a while, enjoying each other's company.
​
“Even though we didn't finish... did you at least enjoy it?” Stella asks me guiltily.
​
“Yeah, I did. Did you?” Stupid question, but then again, I wasn’t exactly known for making intelligent inquiries in the first place.
​
Stella giggles very lightly. “Yes, actually…”
​
More silence between us. At this point, we are only procrastinating on the inevitable...
​
“Anon… aren't you going to regret having sex with me?” Stella asks in a meek voice that sounds a few moments away from breaking.
​
I embrace Stella tighter. “That's tomorrow talk. Right now, let's enjoy this moment, okay?”
​
Stella buries her head into my chest. “... okay…” she whispers somberly. I pull her even closer to me, cradling her head under mine.
​
No more words…
​
Just the sound of silence…