# A Surprise Visit Author's Notes And Misc

9 - AUTHOR’S COMMENTARY
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Fuck you i’m venting/reminiscing
I’ll end up talking about all sorts of plot holes and other ‘behind the scenes’ shit as well as explaining a bunch of bullshit that doesn’t really need to be explained, if you don’t want to see that shit then don’t bother reading this.
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>Chapter 1
A good chunk of this was lifted directly from the ‘alternate’ version of this story (which was actually made first after a bizarre spark of inspiration the morning I woke up after getting Ending 1). There’s a piece of my ‘original intent’ for this story that stayed in there. The ‘NO’ - nothing like it shows up anywhere else in the rest of the story. It was supposed to represent some sort of repression of what had happened in Ending 1 and Fang in general, which would also synergize with anxiety and PTSD and god knows what else. For better or for worse, I found out fairly quickly that I had no idea how to write PTSD and all that other shit, so that ‘intent’ ended up being scrapped pretty much entirely by the time I was done with Chapter 2.
Trish’s monologue about plans failing is lifted almost directly from my own life. Won’t get into details but to say that shit almost went tits up for me because of my sheer fucking stupidity would be a massive understatement.
There’s a part where Trish says that ‘Fang’s dad said something’ that mentally destroyed her and caused her to re-evaluate her life in reference to Fang. I have no idea what this could be and it never really gets expanded upon.
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>Chapter 2
This shit took me like a full week to write (although considering the size of 2-3 normal chapters I guess it isn’t that surprising), and it’s the only chapter to have an entire fully-written scene completely cut from it - the ‘Unused Sequence’ that follows this commentary shit, which was supposed to be during Anon’s first walk to Trish’s house. It’s a clearer view into the ‘original intent’ that I had. It was supposed to be a PTSD flashback sequence, but - and thank Raptor Jesus I asked for critique before I went along with this - turns out that’s not how PTSD works at all. It functions as a nightmare sequence well enough, or would with some trimming at least. Regardless, shit like that was supposed to be very prevalent throughout the entire story, with Anon suffering anxiety, panic attacks, nightmares, and all that good shit because of the events of Ending 1.
Another mention of Fang’s dad that never gets elaborated on or resolved. Maybe it’s for the best, but I still consider them mistakes.
Cringing hard at the ‘Murphasaur’s Law!’ line and the bit of dialogue that precedes it, that plus the ‘It’s a little surprising that we’re able to look back on high school without completely breaking down.’ is a warning sign that the general pacing is going to get fucked. And fucked it gets.
Trish’s mom also doesn’t really show up again. I had sort-of planned some sort of confrontation between her and Anon but I ended up just sweeping it under the rug
Funny enough, the shit with the pictures was actually completely unplanned, and also hard as fuck to write. I can only hope I captured the sheer panic and terror and anxiety, as well as the following grief Anon was experiencing in those moments as well as I’d like to think I did.
The shit with their first kiss was actually planned a decent while in advance. I woke up one morning, opened my phone and wrote pretty much the entire sequence from ‘Our lips meet and the world around us melts.’ to ‘A dagger of ice pieces my heart.’ At the time it was completely disconnected from the rest of the story, seeing as I hadn’t even started that part of chapter 2 (or chapter 2 at all, I don’t exactly remember), and the challenge was to get it to line up properly without being completely retarded. Whether or not I succeeded is up for debate.
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>Chapter 3
This one contributed to the fucked pacing pretty good. I enjoyed writing it regardless. A decent amount of plot and conflict advancement, Anon getting “tricera-TOPPED” as one anon put it, and just the general atmosphere was nice. Putting it literally the day after they spent an entire night crying their eyes out and being wracked with untold levels of grief was probably not the best idea.
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>Chapter 4
Rock Ring reference lmao. Was actually originally called ‘Truth and Reconciliation’ but that fit Chapter 7 better, but I still wanted the reference so I changed it to ‘Two Betrayals’. Trish and Reed kind of betray each other, right? Two Betrayals? Eh? Ehhh?
‘Some part of me had expected whatever was going on between Trish and I to accelerate, but that part had probably watched too many mediocre Chinese cartoons.’ My not so subtle attempt to reign in the broken pacing that ends up getting blown to bits two chapters later anyway. Oops lmao.
I actually do like how I wrote Reed in this chapter (sorry Reedbros) and the general arc I planned out for him.
And if you were wondering, when Anon excuses himself, Reed lightly grills Trish for an explanation of why Anon is there, she says that she just wants to have a good time with her friends, and Reed says something along the lines of ‘How am I supposed to have a good time next to the guy that murdered our best friend?’
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>Chapter 5
Not much to say about this one, tbdesu. Trish has her own mini-rooftop scene that I feel like I did a pretty good job of writing, and then they act cute together.
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>Chapter 6
This should’ve been chapter 5.5 aka a non-canon shitpost with no actual bearing on the story, and not a full fledged chapter but oops lmao.
The original ‘storyboard’ was simply ‘A/C breaks on a hot day, shenanigans ensue’, and boy, ensue they did.
Regardless, the ‘You have some fat fucking titties, Trish.’ and the sentence preceding it might be my absolute favorite thing that I wrote in the entire story.
This chapter was also the first time I’ve seriously written actual full-penetration smut. I enjoyed it, despite how difficult it was to concentrate at times. Probably could’ve done more shit with the actual anthro features like Trish’s tail but eh, details got fuzzy in the moment.
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>Chapter 7
Rock ring reference part 2
More mom stuff that kinda gets swept under the rug
Reed gets his redemption arc
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>Chapter 8
This felt good to write. Genuinely just a good fucking chapter (or maybe I’m just saying that because I just wrote it and I haven’t been able to pick apart any issues with it who cares rofl xd lol). I didn’t really know what I had in mind for the rest of the story when I finished chapter 7, I just knew that I had to start wrapping up conflicts and arcs because I was kinda reaching the end of my patience with the whole thing. The scope eventually ended up shrinking from maybe 3 chapters to maybe 2 chapters and then just pushing it all into a single chapter and tying it off before it could get out of my control.
Some of it may feel like I was just writing off the various conflicts with a paragraph of text. And that’s because I was.
As for the actual ending, that was something I did have planned pretty much since the very beginning. Not in that exact context of course, but the idea of Anon picking up a guitar and doing something with all the love and effort Fang poured into him was just too fucking good to not use. It might be an Ending 1 Anon but he at least picked the ‘Play the guitar’ option while in Fang’s room.
As for Mr. B and ‘Red Sun, Blue Moon’, no there is no meaning and no it isn’t an intentional Metal Gear Rising reference.
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>Chapter 4.5
Yeah I’m talking about this, what a piece of shit chapter, goddamn. It being a shitpost doesn’t excuse it from being fucking incoherent garbage. The idea I had when I originally thought of it was present at the beginning with the main character swap, but then it just morphed into some retarded bullshit meta-shitposting that never went anywhere and had nothing to do with what I was originally planning on writing. Fuck.
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Unused Sequence
The tightness in my chest and pit in my stomach grows with every step I take towards Volcano High. My attempts to reassure myself that nothing will go wrong barely help, and the mid-afternoon sun bearing down on me wasn’t helping either. I turn that oh-so-familiar corner and come face to face with Volcano High.
Flashing lights and blaring sirens assault my senses, police vehicles and ambulances surrounding the entrance. And the screaming, sweet God the screaming; a symphony of pure terror and anguish surrounds me, and I scream with them.
“FANG! NO!”
I need to stop this, I need to-
*BANG*
A stray bullet hits me in the leg as I start to run, and I immediately stumble and crash onto the concrete sidewalk. The pain, the heat, the lights, the sirens, the screaming, it’s too much. Too much. Too much. Too much. Too much.
Don’t leave me alone.
Please…
“Are you okay?” A voice from above. A beautiful voice, full of caring and hope. I look up and see an angel offering me their hand. No - not an angel.
“Fang!”
The crippling wound in my leg no longer matters as I embrace my angel. I‘m trembling, crying, hyperventilating, but it doesn’t matter. The nightmare is over.
“What the hell is with you dude?!” Fang forcefully pushes me away, and I barely keep my balance as I stumble backward. Fang’s eyes meet mine, her face full of confusion.
“You hit your head or something? Need an ambulance?”
I look at Fang. Her eyes green and plain, her face noticeably flat, her voice strangely deep and masculine.
I turn to Volcano High. The sirens are off, the police and ambulances gone, the screams quiet, the pain absent.
“Oh fuck…” I pant as I lean onto a nearby wall, trembling. I bury my head in my hands and slide down the wall, desperately trying to regain control over my breathing.
“Hey. You gonna be alright?”
“Huh…” I look up at whoever is trying to get my attention. A human, clearly worried about whatever just happened. What had just happened?
“I heard someone scream, I come out here and you’re on the ground curled up and crying like someone just stuck you.” I try to respond, but words fail me.
“Who the hell is Fang?” His final word hits me like a blast of ice-water, and I suddenly become very aware of my surroundings.
Fang is gone. Volcano High isn’t in danger. And I’m sitting against the wall of some random business having a fucking panic attack. I let out a shaky, ragged breath.
“I’m fine. I’m fine. Just...need a moment.”
“You sure? Cause…” I glance up as he trails off, his eyes on the school across the road.
“Shit...guess you got a lot on your plate. I’ll leave you to it.” He walks back into the store.
I eventually rise to my feet. Don’t know how long I was down there. Don’t really care. I’m never stepping foot near this fucking place again.
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BY THE WAY
FORTY-FOUR FUCKING PAGES IN GOOGLE DOCS
GODDAMN THAT'S A LOT