# Bad Bitch Stella Remaster Chapter 4

Chapter 4: Reforging the Link
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I wake in a bed that isn't my own, in a strange place I barely recognized, beside another person that's equal parts a stranger and familiar to me.
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It takes me a few seconds to recollect the events that have transpired. Memory is hazy at first, but gradually, the memories flood back in. The calls, the panic, the rush of emotion, the sudden acceptance of lust and love. That last part puts me on alert, forcing my still zoned-out brain to work double to decipher what it could mean. When I, at last, put it together and the memories form a coherent film of recollections, I'm filled with nothing but dread.
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Well, 'dread' is not quite the word I'd use. There is a persistent rebellion lighting up inside my soul. It's a war over what's my fault, what isn't my fault, and what I'm willing and unwilling to take the blame for… and the biggest part of me isn't willing to take it anymore .
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With the feeling of Stella's warm body in my arms and the harsh coldness of my crimes in my head, I am no longer able to tell right from wrong. Was it really wrong of me to cheat on Fang? Yes, it was. I can not—I WILL not—hold anyone else responsible for that fuck-up.
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Was it right of me to come to Stella in her time of need? Yes. Yes, it was. Who else could have done it? Hell, who else WOULD have done it? Even if her life ultimately wasn't in danger and it was all my stupid imagination overreacting, with all her friends gone and all her pride crumbled to dust, she was about to go down a dangerous road. People could say all they want about me and how I'm the biggest asshole of them all. People can screech and moan and fling their shit all they want about how big of a mistake this whole thing was. I will never be ashamed of stepping out of the mass of apathy I've been living in and stopping a disaster before it could happen, especially after what I've had to live through in the past. Even if it will cost suffering of my own, it might be the only genuinely right thing I've done in my entire life; the only thing that mattered.
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I strengthen my hold on Stella's being. I don't want to let her go...
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I know that I've done things that are unforgivable under any circumstance. I've had ample opportunities to come clean with Fang. I had plenty of chances to call it off and walk away before things went off the rails. Yet, I didn't. I couldn't trust Fang to know the truth, and I couldn't share the burden with her even though, as lovers, we're supposed to support each other through thick and thin. 'Till death do us part, and whatnot,' I bitterly reflect. For a second, I entertain the notion that I was sparing Fang the pain. That's such a blatant lie, though. I push it away immediately.
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No. I—and only I—am responsible for deciding to go through this alone. I might have asked Reed's help but ultimately let him down too, even when he risked his neck for me as a real bro would.
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My hands curl into fists. I'm unsure if it's from anger or disgust. Maybe both? Could be resentment. Resent at the fact that after coming such a long way, I am still the same cynical, untrusting retard that's afraid to let anyone close in on things that actually matter. The act of helping someone with her homework or playing the guitar with her… those pale in comparison to my unquestioned willingness to STILL consider each fight a fight of my own. That I cannot turn the 'me' to 'us' in the phrase: 'Me against the world.'
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This cannot continue...
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Before I could further the thought, there is a thunderous set of bangs on Stella's door.
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"WHAT'S GOING ON IN THERE!?" Rosa's voice shouts as loud as she can from the other side of the door.
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I jolt upright, causing Stella to wake up as well. She lets out a cute little yawn and rubs her eyes. "W-what time is it?" she innocently asks, almost as if not recognizing where she is or with whom she is currently laying.
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Another set of hard knocks threatens to knock the door off its hinges. "STELLA! STELLA!? ¡Abri esta puerta ahora mismo, o juro en el nombre de Raptor Jesus que la voy a Derribar!"
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On hearing Rosa's words, Stella fully springs awake. Almost as if going through my previous thoughts, just in super-fast motion, she looks around, looks at me, has her face go from joy to sorrow, to worry, and ultimately to shit-panting fear before grabbing me by the shoulder.
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"It's R-Rosa!" She half-yells as she gives the door another look, almost as if to verify that she wasn't seeing or hearing things.
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When there's a third set of hard knocks, we look to one another in sheer terror, the same thought flashing through both of our minds:
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' GET FUCKING DRESSED! '
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Stumbling out of bed—Rosa's bed, by the way—Stella and I try gathering up our respective articles of clothing. Unfortunately, due to all the other pieces of clothes tossed around the room, what should have been an easy task becomes nothing short of a nightmare. Stella dives for the nearest bra in her sight and rapidly puts that on. I practically do a tactical drop and slide for what I believe are my socks. As I do, I chance a glance towards Stella, only then noticing that the bra she's wearing seems to be a bit bigger than her breasts. The things also have what look like a floral pattern to them...
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I don't think much about that as I slip one of my socks on. Meanwhile, Stella has found and is actively putting on what I can only really call her booty shorts. I look down to put on my other sock, except that it's white with blue stripes, unlike my plain black socks. With a mismatched sock in my hand, I turn to Stella. "Hey," I say in a hushed yell. " I think this one's yours!"
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Stella looks at me first, then at the sock. She motions to me that, yes, it's hers. "Help me put it on!" she tells me while also looking around for the other one. I try—I honest to god try—but with her leg moving all around, it's not an easy operation by any means.
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One final set of knocks, and I hear the unmistakable sound of jingling keys.
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OH, THAT'S IT
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I'M DEAD
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WE'RE DEAD
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Going by my luck, Rosa might as well have Fang in tow. The police too, ready to register me as an offender. Hell, Naser and Mr. Ripley can join that party too. Then it would be the end of the line.
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We freeze, my hand still grabbing Stella's leg. Despite every desire to duck and hide away, we both know what's coming is inevitable. So we just stay there, awaiting the inevitable...
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Except nothing happens.
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No. Something does happen. It's not what we expected. What sounds like a bit of commotion resonates from the other side of the door, and another familiar voice joins the fray.
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"Rosa! Hey Rosa, wait!" a voice that's all too familiar to me rings out, barely muffled by the door. "Don't go in!"
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My brain freezes. I refuse to believe it. 'I-is that Reed? What's he doing here?' I think as I try to get my body and brain to resume their functions. 'After all that I've done, why is he...?'
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I don't have much of a chance to finish those thoughts as Rosa shouts her following words at Reed. "Why wouldn't I do that, pendejo?!"
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"Cause it's, uh... it's a hotbox!" Reed lies through his teeth.
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"A 'hot box?' What the hell is that?"
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First, I have no idea what Reed is talking about, but then it hits me square in the chest. 'A distraction!' I almost shout my thoughts, though by the look Stella gives me, I'm pretty sure I mumbled it. Reed knows I'm here, and he's rerunning interference. Though I don't honestly know how much luck he'll have with Rosa, every second he buys me is another second I come closer to giving the guy a kiss. On the lips. Full tongue and everything.
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I shake off the shock and return to helping dress Stella. While I find my own pants quickly enough, it takes us a second to find anything else. I then spot one of her shirts—what looks to be her 'Oppai' shirt from the concert—and grab it, swiftly bringing it up to her. She takes one look at the shirt and gives me a worried look. I motion with my head at it, and she hurriedly nods. Wasting not one second, I slip the shirt over her head, at which point she finishes putting it on. Only when the shirt is over her body, do we both realize that it’s on backwards.
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Stella furrows her brow at me. I ignore it and pick up another sock to put on her foot. 'Wait, is that different from the other?' I ask myself, as I realize that the new sock in my hand is yellow with pink stripes. 'NO MATTER! NO TIME!' I practically shout to myself as I secure my own pants in place.
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Thinking quickly, I look around for my shirt. Stella shoots me a quick whistle, and I turn around in time to catch a shirt tossed to my face. Now it's my turn to furrow my eyebrow at Stella. Her response is only to giggle. Meanwhile, fragments of the conversation between Reed and Rosa hit my ears.
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"But bro, we can't let the smoke out, or Stella's gonna get banned from the dorms!"
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"¡No me importa!" she shouts, the sound of keys once again resonating like the toll of a death bell.
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While putting my shirt on, the door's mechanism clicks, and it swings open.
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Rosa first looks at me, then to Stella, then around the room, then to Stella again, and finally back to me, at which point her crimson eyes lock onto me. It takes her a second to register all the information. Her eyes fill with what I assume to be rage, but before she can do or say anything, Reed acts first.
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"Sorry about this!" he yells as, to my absolute disbelief, he puts Rosa into a chokehold from behind.
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Reed's face contorts as he tries his best to hold back Rosa, who is fuming, her nose erupting steam as she tries to free herself from Reed's grip. Reed, for his part, contorts his face into a scowl of concentration as he tries his best to drag Rosa back into the hallway, likely in an attempt to shove her out and then shut the door. His struggle, however, seems to be costing him a lot more stamina than he anticipated, his muscles simply being no match for the muscled and very angry orange ankylosaur in his grip.
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For the faintest of seconds, it looks like Reed might win the struggle, as Rosa's flushed face begins to turn a shade lighter. But that quickly changes when in what I can only consider being brilliant, she stomps her foot on Reed's left foot, causing him to loosen his grip. Taking the opportunity of the opening she created, she jabs the velociraptor in the chest with her elbow, forcing Reed to release the orange dino with a loud grunt from his part. She then slams a foot down and takes what almost looks like a horse stance. With a mighty punch to his sternum, Reed's sent flying back into the hallway, where he hits the opposite wall first, followed by the cold hard ground. He lets out a strained gasp as he grabs his abdomen before coughing and wheezing in an attempt to get air back into his lungs, all the while sticking his tongue out and gagging, no doubt trying desperately to hold back whatever he had for dinner last night from staining the floor.
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With a snort from her snoot, Rosa turns away from Reed, almost like how a martial artist would turn away from their defeated enemy. I almost expected the pink velociraptor to explode in a shower of sparks and colored dust like this was a super sentai. Of course, this was fucking real, and the situation was far too dire for me to dwell on such thoughts. If anything, the only thing that came to mind was how much I would end up owing to Reed… assuming he still wanted to talk to me after this was all over.
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Rosa stepped back into her room and once again fixed me with a glare, her eyes filled with absolute disbelief at what they were witnessing. "An-on, what is happening here!? Why are you taking your clothes off!?"
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'Wait, off?' I ask myself as I glance down towards my compromising position, shirt raised, exposing my abs and part of my back. My eyes naturally snap wide as the implication hits me full force. 'Oh god, she thinks that we were about to fuck!'
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I want to speak up, but my tongue is as frozen as the rest of my body. Thankfully, Stella, bless her anime-loving soul, speaks up for me.
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But before she can say her words, a terrible thought hits me. 'Please Stella, don't say what I think you're gonna say,' I think as the stego's words leave her mouth.
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"This isn't what it looks like!"
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If I wasn't frozen in fear, I would have facepalmed. 'Oh goddammit, Stella. Why did you have to default to such a tired and overused cliché?' I ask myself. Then again, it was true. Just not in the way Rosa expected. Did that make it an anti-cliché then? Fuck, that's a question for when I'm not about to get gored by a very angry ankylosaur.
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Forcing my body to move, I finish putting my shirt on but can't otherwise add anything to the situation. I'm half tempted to try and bullshit something out, but there honestly was nothing I could add that wouldn't make the situation seem any less compromising. Though I'm at least thankful that the ankylosaur didn't catch us naked. Otherwise, I'd probably be a stain on the wall or something...
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I hear a loud hack ring from the hall, and much to my surprise, I see Reed crawling back in through the door, all the while clutching onto his ribcage with a pained, strained look in his eyes.
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"Geez Rosa, I think you broke my ribs…" he whimpers through ragged breaths. He, too, looks around and at us, his expression still one of barely contained pain. Though when his eyes fix themselves on mine, he gives me one stare of pity and disbelief. That honestly hits me harder than any insult or reprimand he could say to me.
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Rosa pays Reed little mind. Her full attention instead is on Stella and me. With a glare that is one level below, 'I'm going to use your head as a horn ornament,' she crosses her arms and starts tapping her foot. All things considered, she's handling the current development shockingly well. She isn't shouting any of the insults she tossed my way back when I called her in a panic, and she hasn't yet moved to beat the living crap out of Stella. ‘ Maybe she's calmed down significantly since last night? ' I ask myself, hopeful that maybe no one else aside from Reed was going to get hurt...
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Despite what must have been a great deal of pain, Reed manages to stand up. As he does, I spot some tears in his eyes. If his ribs are as damaged as he claims, then the fact that he's even standing is proof of how tough the velociraptor is. That, or how high he is on carfe. Whatever the case was, the moment he's caught his breath and obtained an even footing, he closes the door sealing the four of us into the room.
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"D-dude, out with the truth now," he whimpers as he nurses his chest. "Fang's on her way here!" he croaks, a tear rolling down his cheek.
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"I would also like an explanation. Now!" Rosa interjects, her glare never leaving either Stella or myself.
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Reed's and Rosa's words are simple, and their words are right. And yet, all they do is evoke that ever-growing rebellion inside me. A dam can only hold so much water.
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I give one last weary sigh, then with determination in my eyes, I speak, addressing both Rosa and Reed. "Sit down, the both of you," I say, motioning to the people who may soon no longer be my friends for entirely justified reasons.
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Rosa walks up to the nearest overturned chair and sets it upright. She then takes a seat, arms still crossed and frown still very present. Reed, meanwhile, drops down on his rear, taking a relaxed pose on the floor. Judging by his twisted look of pain, breathing is enough to cause him agony. It makes me worried that his original assumption about his ribs is correct. The last thing I want is for the new day to start with one of us having to go to a hospital.
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With Rosa and Reed seated, I feel confident enough to begin my tale of deception, infidelity, and stupidity...
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What follows is my recollection of the past thirty-two hours. I tell them about the bet and the wager. I tell them about watching SAO with Stella and her sudden kiss. I tell them about how confused and damned I've felt about it, and I tell them how I couldn't stop myself from messaging her that night.
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With a slight pause to catch my breath, I continue telling them about what happened next and the guilt I've felt over it. I tell about my sharing the secret with Reed, turning him into my accomplice, and I tell the shame of the rooftop encounter, sparing no detail, from the moment Naser and Naomi both came into the scene, to how their impromptu rooftop 'fun' forced me to very unorthodoxically shut Stella up.
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That last part got a wide-eyed reaction from both Rosa and Reed. I don't think I've ever seen either dino's eyes go that wide in shock. The responses that followed were as telling of how they were feeling. Rosa looked like she wanted to faint. Reed's expression, meanwhile, was a combination of terror, disappointment, and sadness, all emotions overriding his look of pain. I couldn't blame the guy. If I were in his shoes, I probably would have the same expressions on my face...
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Moving past the roof, I tell about my doubts, and I speak about my turmoil. I tell it all, and I tell it true. When it comes to the events that took place last night, I hesitate. How can I say to my friends that I broke the one sacred rule about relationships? That I spat in the face of Fang's trust for me?
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Stella, who's been mostly silent up to this point, suddenly stands up. "Anon… L-let me…" She seems hesitant at first, but after taking a deep breath, her expression changes to one of determination. "Let me tell it from here onward," she demands in a feat of courage that I didn't even know she had in her.
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I give her a look, pleading with my eyes for her to reconsider. She only gives me a warm smile and a soft look with those beautiful light-azure eyes of her as she takes my hand in hers. "It's okay, Anon," she coos softly. "It's my turn to bear some of the burden…"
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For the next five minutes, Stella tells things from her point of view, retreading some spoken ground but generally adding a new viewpoint that completes what I’ve said already.
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Then Stella gets to my arrival the night prior, and she too hesitates. I feel her hand grip mine tightly as her expression hardens. “Anon and I… we decided we were done hiding what we felt for each other. We…” She bites the bottom of her lip and lets out a sigh. “We kissed again, only this time as true lovers… and we fell asleep in each other’s embrace… At least until we woke up, and I decided to take it beyond just kissing and hugging...”
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I slowly drop my head. A mixture of relief and guilt surges through me. On the one hand, I was relieved that Stella didn’t mention our sex session to Rosa or Reed. I can’t imagine the type of shitstorm that would cause between us.
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On the other hand, did Stella’s denial of losing our virginities to each other imply that she found it such a despicable act as not even to be worth bringing up? Had I been such a bad partner in bed that she’d rather forget it ever happened? Or worse yet, did she regret it ever happening?
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Before I can dwell more on those last dark thoughts, I hear Stella let out a sigh. I turn my head up in time to see the lime-yellow dino fix her roommate with a pained stare.
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"R-Rosa," Stella starts, stuttering a bit when calling her friend's name. "I… I need to apologize… for the things I told you last night… I shouldn't have ever said any of them to you…”
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Rosa's upper lip stiffens, but she doesn't say anything to Stella.
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"The things I told you… I-I…" Stella grabbed hold of her arm, her tail flopping down and staying absolutely still. "I was in a horrible place last night. I… I just had so many pent-up feelings! So much gnawing at me! It was too much. Too much!" She half-closes her eyes and lets out a single sniff, glancing down in my direction.
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Instantly, I felt ice in my gut. I knew where Stella was going next…
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"Someone told me some truly awful things. Things that while I wanted to deny desperately, I knew deep down were in fact true…" She gripped her hands shut and turned back to Rosa. "It made me realize how many people think of me as a freak, as a weirdo, as someone whose interests are wrong and heretical and downright misguided !" She grabs my hand again and tightens her grip. I can feel her trembling as emotions she hadn't let out for maybe years bubbled deep in her heart. Knowing that this is Stella's chance to pour her heart out, I return the grasp on her hand in a show of silent support. While her eyes remain as fixed on Rosa as they've ever been, my action makes the corners of Stella's mouth rise ever so slightly.
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"F-for years now, I've felt like an outcast! For years, I've lived my life without any people I can call my friends! In every relationship I've ever had, I've had to try and adapt to fit in the eyes of others, always keeping what I love distant, always having to settle for being what I'm not! Even with you, Rosa—the one person I could almost call a true friend—I've had to pussyfoot around what I love because everything I do is something you disapprove of !" She let go of my hand and took several steps forward, coming almost face to face with the orange ankylosaur. "And then last night… you said all those terrible things about the stuff I love, about the stuff that makes me who I am…" Her expression darkens as she glares daggers at Rosa. "Y-you broke my heart!" she shouted, all the while pointing a finger in Rosa's face. "You ripped it to pieces like those Duel Monster cards I showed you two years ago!"
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Rosa, at first, remains as stoic as she has been for the last few minutes. At first, I'm almost convinced that she's so convinced of her righteous position in this situation that she can't bring herself to feel anything for someone who cheated with another woman's boyfriend.
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Yet, little by little, I see cracks begin to form in the orange dino's expression. It starts with her shifting her gaze to the side, followed by her lower lip quivering ever so slightly, which is then compounded upon by her previously held cross arm pose losing some of its strength. Whereas before Rosa held her shoulders back and showed a sense of authority, her shoulders began to slack little by little until her previous pose was less imposing and more defensive.
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Stella turns away from Rosa before she has a chance to notice the more subtle signs of her victory, once more looking me in the eyes. As soon as she does, she yet again smiles, her cheeks flushing a light pink as her eyes begin to shimmer. Only, her smile this time isn’t warm. Rather, it’s filled with bitterness that breaks my heart. "I… I know that what I did with Anon was wrong. I know that he's already loved by someone else, and he, in turn, loves them with all his heart… but I… I couldn't let it go…" She closes her eyes and turns away from me, instead opting to face the empty part of the room. "I was so desperate to find someone like me, someone who understood and cared and shared all that I love… that I became blinded to the truth…" she again grabs her arm before turning back to face Rosa, Reed, and myself. "I was so desperate to find someone who loved me that I crossed a line I should never have crossed…"
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Stella closes her eyes and lets out another sigh, the tears from before now freely flowing down her cheeks. "I have no excuses... but I won't say that all I did was wrong," she says, her words, though directed primarily at Reed and Rosa, easily applicable to me as well…
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Rosa and Reed take all of the words spoken by Stella and myself in a mute stupor. They look at each other as if trying to find some wordless answer in each other's eyes and then back to us. Nobody breaks the silence. It lingers between us for a good while, to the point that I start to worry that we've all gone mute.
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In all honesty, I can't blame either Rosa or Reed for their lack of words. Aside from justifiable anger, what more was there for them to tell us? How much had we fucked up? That was clear for anyone to see. How much in the wrong were we for letting things go so far? Again, pretty damn clearly out in the air…
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Suddenly, another set of knocks comes from the door. Unlike Rosa's, they are softer and almost seem hesitant. I look at Reed, who gives me a soft, sad look. His reaction gives me a pretty good idea as to who is now knocking at the door...
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An icy hand claws into my gut. With my emotions spent, all that remains is the guilt.
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Stella walks back up to me and grabs me by the hand. A small gesture, but the feeling of her hand on mine brings me a strange comfort. I give Stella a quick glance and notice that she too shares my same expression of fear. I tighten my grip, which causes her to shoot me a quick simper, almost as if wordlessly telling me that everything would be alright despite the two of us knowing full well that things were as far away from 'alright' as they could be...
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Rosa, at last letting her cross-armed pose altogether drop, lets out a broken sigh that sounds closer to a sob. With one look of sadness at Stella and myself, she gets up from her chair and walks up to the door. She puts her hand on the handle but hesitates for a moment. Maybe it's my eyes playing tricks on me, but I swear I see her mouth moving, silently mouthing the word 'perdoname' towards Stella before turning the handle and opening the door.
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On the other side of the door stood none other than Fang, in a way that I've never seen her. Unsure. Tentative. She was clutching onto one of her arms, looking in our direction meekly, but more so at the floor. There's no need to ask questions. She heard our confession. She walks at a slow pace, her expression one of misery. The moment she's inside, Rosa closes the door behind her as if it was an omen. Nailing the coffin shut for myself and Stella.
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Fang continues her slow and steady walk until she's standing right before me. The whole time, her eyes were set to the ground, almost as if looking up would somehow cause her physical pain. Then again, if she had heard everything, then she likely was doing everything in her power to not scream at me or strangle me, both things that I knew well I deserved. It takes her almost a full minute before she finally finds it in herself to look me in the eye. There are no tears, but her gaze screams the kind of pain that would bring a man to his knees. She's been betrayed by none other than me, the one person she could put her faith, her trust in. A trust that I've gone ahead to throw away brazenly.
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There are no words between us. Fang doesn't ask me if this is a joke or if I even loved her in the first place. She doesn't blame me. She doesn't shout at me. She doesn't raise her first to strike at my face or prepare her boot to kick me in the balls. To her, I'm now a part of a painful past; another object trophy to remind her never to trust anyone again. Whatever justification I've had towards the fling with Stella, none of that seems to matter now. Even if I did save one life, I've ended another. I picked her up, and then I let her down in the worst way imaginable.
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A part of me, some sick and depraved part that can't fathom the gravitas of the situation, wants to apologize. I know it's all so pointless now, like walking up to your neighbor with a bloodied bag and telling them, 'hey, I shot your dog, but you can keep the body !' I don't imagine there's any combination of words in the English language that would help me in this situation. Though I'd be more than willing to speak them for Fang's sake…
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A few seconds after staring deep into my eyes, Fang turns to face Stella, whose hand I'm still holding onto like a child would hold their mother's. The two women lock eyes with each other, and there's a wordless back and forth between them, one that I cannot fathom nor comprehend. Who could Stella be looking at, I wonder… Fang or Lucy? And who does Fang see, a freak of a homewrecker or another soul to save? Her expression is unchanging. Stoic, save for the pain in her eyes. On the other hand, Stella is fidgeting around nervously, on the verge of tears, but not willing to back down in the slightest.
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What an absolutely terrible situation to be in. If I somehow manage to save myself and stay with Fang, Stella loses everything. She won't just be that weird anime-obsessed and occult-loving loner anymore; she'll be condemned for possibly her whole life, truly alone as everyone she's ever known abandons her, her life spiraling further and further into bleakness. But if Stella wins me over, Fang also loses something precious as she too falls into despair. Regardless of who wins, it doesn't change the fact that Stella and I are a horrible couple of cheaters. A perfect pair almost made in hell.
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Almost…
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Fang's silent inspection of Stella continues for a bit. She turns away from us, sitting down on an overturned table, away from everyone in the room. As soon as she's seated, she sets her eyes to the floor and cradles her hands in her lap. After a few more seconds, she lets out a ragged and weary sigh.
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Almost another minute passes in unbearable silence before she finally speaks, her voice soft, barely audible.
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"I knew something might be up…" she whispers as she turns to face Reed. "Yesterday, when you kept me from classes… I knew something had happened 'cause you'd never put any effort into one single thing otherwise…"
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Reed looks like he's about to open his mouth to speak some kind of rebuke, but he ultimately shuts his snout up and looks away from Fang, scowling, his eyes turning hazy, and his cheeks growing rosy. He probably didn't consider that he'd be the one to raise a suspicion in Fang. He can't be blamed, though. He has been more than helpful. Although that might even make it worse for him, that he chose to side with a confessed cheater and liar rather than his friend… and that all his work and sacrifice was for nothing…
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I feel a pang of pride that my girlfriend is so sharp and clever. That pride quickly turns to a spike of pain, however. I cannot claim to be Fang's boyfriend anymore. Not even her friend, probably.
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Just the thought makes me wish I was dead…
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Fang lets out another sigh. "I had a lot of suspicions, but I would never have imagined that…" She shakes her head and turns to face Stella again. "Is it true what you said? Do you really need Anon?" Fang asks, all the while rising from her improvised seat and taking a step forward, her expression, at last, changing away from her previous pain to a look of determined urgency. "Do you love HIM?" she snapped in a tone that didn't quite sound like anger but still carried the same level of gravitas.
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All eyes in the room widened in response to Fang's question. How could anyone not, considering it was not at all what anyone had expected to hear from the ptero.
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Fang's brow furrows when she hears no answer from Stella. In response, she practically lunges at the stego, only instead of tackling her into the ground and beating the ever-living shit out of her like any other rage-filled girl who had gotten cheated on would, she grabbed her by the shoulders. She fixed her with a dire, pleading look, all the while Stella shifted her eyes away, as if physically unable to look at the ptero in the eye.
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"DO YOU LOVE HIM!?" Fang shouts right into Stella's face, her eyes finally welling with tears.
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Stella's stunned at first. Much like earlier, she's frozen in place, seemingly unable to formulate coherent thoughts or emotions. It takes her a full ten seconds before she blinks in confusion and an extra five for a shiver to visibly run up her spine and into her head.
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Stella shuts her eyes and lets out a weary, broken sigh. Her grip on my hand tightens at first, but gradually, she loosens it until she lets go. The moment she does, she opens her eyes and locks eyes with Fang. She tries to maintain a straight and dignified expression. Still, little by little, the intensity with which my girlfriend—or rather ex-girlfriend, I should say—gazes into her soul gradually wears away at whatever defenses she might have erected for herself.
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Finally, Stella takes a step back, breaking away from Fang's grip on her arms. Either not noticing it or taking the tumble willingly, Stella falls back on Rosa's bed. She accepts the fall, almost as if expecting to find some sort of resolution at the end of it. She doesn't even arch her back as if fighting back her very body's survival instincts. Had there been no bed there, she would have hit the ground head first, almost as if…
​
I shut my eyes and try not to think about the implications. Other thoughts enter my mind instead. A part of me wants to be anywhere in the world but here. Yet, that part is so insignificant to me now that it’s barely worth even acknowledging. It doesn’t want to go out quietly, though. It thrashes about, desperately clinging to whatever relevance it still has. It reminds me of how uncertain my life is. It flashes memories of my broken and shambled life. It taunts me with the fact that in almost every conceivable way, I’m a failure not even worth acknowledging...
​
I almost give in to the dark thoughts when something else comes in and smacks away all those thoughts. A new thought in the shape of a giant mecha made of light and awesome, its helm is none other than Stella, a radiant smile on her lips, and a hand outstretched towards me, beckoning me to join her in the light so that we may burst through all boundaries and pierce the heavens as one.
​
At that moment, I realize that the one person whose thoughts I care to know the most at that moment in time is Stella.
​
Only Stella...
​
My eyes snap open when I hear the sound of crying. I follow the noise and find myself looking at Stella, hands over her face, legs tucked up almost in a fetal position, and her body rocking back and forth, her tail, which usually wrapped around her leg wherever she demonstrated some kind of overwhelming emotion, flopping beside her as if it had gone numb.
​
I glance towards Reed and Rosa in an attempt at gauging their moods. Rosa remains as stunned looking as before, her eyes wide and trembling, and her whole body limp, almost as if she fainted while still being wide awake. Reed, meanwhile, is a little easier to read. He's just plain flabbergasted, his jaw still hanging limply, and his body slumped down in a mixture of physical pain and mental exhaustion. I honestly couldn't tell which of the two was causing him more distress.
​
I then look towards Fang. Her hands are clenched tight, and she's gritting her teeth, the scowl on her face leaving little in the way of deciphering other than rage. Yet, she wasn't glaring at Stella or me. Instead, she was looking down at the floor, almost as if she couldn't bear to look at Stella's wailing…
​
It takes Stella a full minute before she exhausts all her tears. When she, at last, sits up on the bed, she kneels before fixing Fang with a pleading, almost puppy-like gaze. She opens and closes her mouth several times as if words are trying to be said, but just as quickly getting killed before they have a fair chance at life.
​
Fang then somehow surprises me more by stepping onto the bed and kneeling next to Stella. At first, she glares at her with a fierce glower that makes me think she's about to punch the stego. Then her look softens, and then finally, she weakly smiles. She reaches out for Stella's hands, grabbing them in her own.
​
"I… I need to know," Fang starts in a soft, broken voice. "Do you really love Anon? Does he mean everything to you?" her eyes harden a bit as she pauses to catch an uneven breath. "A-are… are you willing to do anything if it means… seeing him happy?"
​
Stella looks Fang deep in her eyes. She then turns to look me in the eyes. Her cheeks grow rosy as she gives me the second most heartfelt smile, probably in her life.
​
Stella turns back to Fang, a smile still on her face. "I do," she says in what was barely more than a whisper. She shuts her eyes again and snaps them open, her brow creasing and her gaze growing sharper. "I do!" She speaks with unwavering determination, all the while gripping Fang's hands tighter, almost as if they were a lifeline in a raging river.
​
Silence falls upon the room again as Fang processes Stella's words. I can't bring myself to look at her anymore. I look down at my feet and even close my eyes, shutting the world out. All my guilt, all my fears culminate at this moment, laid bare for Fang to judge.
​
I feel a hand on my shoulder. I wince before bringing my head up and opening my eyes. The hand on me is the monochromatic extension of Fang, who now looks at me with an expression that I can't pin as any one emotion. As I stare deep into her eyes, I feel a particular rage—a righteous rage—deep within her soul. Her grip on my shoulder tightens, and I can only surmise that she's preparing to deck me in the jaw or break my ribs. If that's the case, I won't resist…
​
She raises her right hand, and before I can process it, she slaps me across the face. It's a well-deserved slap. It's still a sobering reminder that nothing in our lives happened without some kind of consequence.
​
I shut my eyes and ready my body and soul for whatever other beating Fang would rightfully bring down upon me, only to be surprised when I hear her let out a sob. Before my mind can fully process the sound my ears pick up, I feel a familiar set of arms wrap around me, followed by a pair of feathery wings. I open my eyes, but all I can see are a few strands of silvery hair as she nuzzles her face against mine.
​
Fang hugs me tightly. It feels like no hug I have ever received from her. It feels like less of a hug and more of a last desperate embrace… like the type you'd give a loved one before they departed to live in some far-away country or the kind a child would give their soldier parent as they left off to fight in some war.
​
I raised my hand to return the embrace, but I hesitated, my arms trembling with fear and shame...
​
"Anon…" Fang started, gingerly whispering into my ear. "I… I forgive you… and I don't hate you…" She tightened her embrace and nuzzled my face more. "I… I don't want to let you go. Every ounce of my being is telling me to hold on to you, to keep you with me forever... but that's… that's s-selfish… especially when there's someone who needs you more than I do…" She let out another sob, this one strained and mournful. "Thank you for caring about me… till you did…"
​
At those words, I finally snap myself from my stupor and embrace Fang as tightly as I can. I know I don't deserve it. I know I have no right to, but if this is really to be our last interaction as lovers, I don't want to live my life with the regret that in the end, I was too much of a coward to embrace the person that I love. I can't muster a word to say to Fang. My insides only twist up in pain...
​
Fang breaks our embrace and looks me deep in the eyes again. Unlike before, where various negative emotions swirled within her, this time, there was only a peaceful yet melancholic serenity. Her gaze burrows through me, into my soul, for ten seconds before lunging forward and locking lips with me. Not counting our accidental kiss on the rooftop or us sharing an indirect kiss via a cigarette, this is our first—and now last—kiss.
​
Even though I do not deserve it, I close my eyes and lose myself in the kiss. I can't help but wonder if, in some alternate universe, Fang—Lucy, rather—and I shared our lives.
​
Fang breaks the kiss and slowly lets me go. Her fingers are the last to part from my body, her whole body trembling as if the separation is excruciatingly painful.
​
When Fang, at last, releases me, she turns back to face Stella. "Anon… can be a big retard... but please take care of him." She then sets a narrowed on Stella. "If you don't, so help me God I'll…" Fang raises a shaking first to the stego, her already sharp glare turning absolutely fiery.
​
Stella, frozen the same as me, can barely produce a nod.
​
With her point made abundantly clear and her farewells seemingly made, Fang takes not another moment to stand off the bed and leave without a further thought spared on our miserable company. She pauses for a second, almost as if sparing a thought, before opening the door as she takes one last glance back at me with teary eyes. She smiles weakly before opening the door and walking in the hallway, carefully closing the door behind her.
​
Nobody speaks a word for what feels like hours. Eventually, Rosa is the first to snap out of her shocked stupor. She looks between Stella and me and lets out a sigh.
​
"You two are the biggest pair of idiots I know…" She takes a deep breath, closes her eyes, and puts on the best smile she can, considering what she had been a witness to. "Still, at least you're only idiots because of love…" she gives herself the sign of the cross and stands up. “Si Fang encontro en su corazon perdonarlos a ustedes dos… then I’ll do it too.” She looks at Stella, her expression softening considerably. "Stella… I'm sorry," she said as she walked up to her roommate and hugged her tight. "I couldn't have known what you were really going through… ¡Y solo lo empeore!"
​
Stella's eyes filled with tears for what felt like the millionth time that day as she returned her friend's embrace.
​
I suddenly felt a presence approach me. I turned in time to see Reed standing before me. His expression was morose, almost like he was fighting the urge to say or do something that he knew he would later regret.
​
Despite knowing that it was a stupid idea, I stood up from the bed and faced my raptor friend—or would it be ex-friend now?—and met his gaze with my own. We both stared at each other for a few seconds before Reed let out a tired sigh, closed his eyes, and began to laugh bitterly. His laughter turned more and more manic by the passing second until he put his hands on my shoulders and again snapped his eyes open, at which point I saw them shimmering with tears. He grits and glares like he wanted to do terrible things to me. As he does, I can feel his claws slowly digging into my shoulders before he stops completely and lets me go, dropping his arms and gazing at me with a face full of heartbreak. He doesn't say a word, but he doesn't need to. I know exactly what kind of pain he's feeling and what kind of emotional baggage he'll carry for months, if not years, to come.
​
The only thing I feel I can do is hug the poor raptor. Reed winces at first on feeling my body press against his, but soon enough, he hugs me back, almost as if accepting the small comfort I can give. He trembles for a second before finally speaking in a broken voice.
​
"B-bro… I… I fucked it up, didn't I?"
​
I pat him on the back carefully to not injure him any further. "I fucked it up first. You just got caught in the middle of it."
​
"I… I thought that… that if I…" Reed doesn't finish his words. Instead, he takes a deep pained breath.
​
I honestly don't know what else to tell him. It didn't matter what I said. He would still wind up feeling like garbage. He at least had noble intentions for all his lies and deceptions, unlike me.
​
I finally break my embrace and smile at him, for whatever that's worth. He takes my expression in stride but remains somber and even slightly broken.
​
Again, I can't fault him for it.
​
At last, Reed returns to his original seat and cradles his chest again. By that point, Rosa's already finished hugging Stella and races up to Reed. She tells him to lift his arms, which he does with a pained expression. She lifts his shirt and inspects his abdomen, at which point I see huge bruises have started appearing all over his chest and stomach.
​
She turns to face us. "I'm taking Reed to the hospital!" she shouts, grabbing Reed by the shoulder and lifting him effortlessly. As she moves for the door, she looks back at Stella and me, almost as if she wants to say something. Ultimately, she shakes her head and smiles before opening the door and walking out in the hall, Reed in tow.
​
Stella and I stare at each other, unsure about what comes next. The only thing I could think of was sitting next to Stella and taking hold of her hands. She, in turn, tightens her grip and gives me a warm smile.
​
I can't help but smile back at her.
​
I hear the sound of a familiar voice clearing his voice. I turn to look at the door and see the crocodilian security officer from last night standing there. He stares at me with an annoyed expression, all the while holding his arms crossed. He glances around the trashed room and right towards Stella and me.
​
With a sigh, he points to me. "It's seven in the morning, and Principal Spear's in his office. He wants to see you ASAP."
​
I swallow a lump in my throat and look Stella in the eye. With a nod, I let go of her hands, and I stand up. With a deep breath to steel myself for the shitshow that was come, I walk towards the guard. I barely have taken two steps when Stella again grabs hold of my right hand. I turn to look at her, and she's standing next to me, with a determined look on her face.
​
"I'm coming too," she says to the guard before giving me a sideways glance. "Where my boyfriend goes, I go."
​
Stella's words make my heart flutter a bit.
​
The guard sighs, rolls his eyes, and nods. "Fine."
​
The guard steps back into the hall. Stella and I give each other another look, and we walk out into the hallway as well, hand in hand and ready to face what was to come.
​
Whatever came next, we would face it together.
​
* * *
​
A whole week had passed since that fateful weekend when I sat down to watch anime with Stella. The shame and pain that followed remain deeply entrenched in my soul, but things have returned to more or less their usual rhythm.
​
Stella and I are still together. Dare I say, we are even absolutely ecstatic to be with each other. For Stella's part, being free to be herself around someone that fully appreciates her love for anime, astrology, and the occult has done wonders for her personality. Whereas before, she was a bit on the shy side when it came to school activities that weren't the gardening club, she now makes an effort to be active in just about anything, and all with an infectious smile. Her chipper attitude has also affected me, further helping me not be as much of a reclusive asshole. It made me start wanting to be social and help out in ways that surprise even me.
​
More importantly, it made me realize that the past I had been running from was pathetically petty. I even shared those pictures with Stella and Rosa, and they found them hilarious. To think that if I had just embraced this side of me back in Rock Bottom, I wouldn't have ever even needed to transfer out. But of course, I would have never learned that lesson back there. Of course, it took me a school change, new friends, and a complicated relationship to truly understand.
​
Still, much as my life had improved, it was not all sunshine and rainbows.
​
For one thing, Reed hadn't yet been given the go-ahead to come back to school. It turns out that Rosa's self-defense routine broke twenty of the raptor's twenty-four ribs. He was in the hospital for five days, and he's not scheduled to return to school for at least another five. Feeling guilt over her overboard use of violence even if he did try to grapple her, Rosa has been visiting Reed every day of the last week, leaving Stella as standing president of the gardening club in the meantime. From what Rosa's told us, though, she's started developing quite the friendship with the pink raptor, finding his mannerism funny, as well as admitting to finding the idea of helping him beat his drug use a welcome challenge for her to tackle. Best of luck to her on that end. Reed and carfe go together like coffee and creamer.
​
When he learned what I did and how I had broken Fang's heart, Naser gave me quite the beating. He only stopped when Fang got in between us and pleaded for him to stop. After she explained the situation and made him promise to leave me alone, Naser backed off, if very unhappily. It seems like whatever friendship I had between Fang's brother and myself was all but over. I can’t blame him for hating me, though.
​
Trish, as expected, went to town with the news of my cheating once she found out some of the details of what happened between Stella and me. She started spreading the rumor around that I had slept with Stella, which, to be fair, isn't false, but far as Fang, Reed, and Rosa were concerned, it was a wildly false accusation. Fang pretty quickly shut Trish up, and in her anger at her friend's betrayal, temporarily left VVURM DRAMA. The stupid trigger has been very quiet since, moping around in her way but generally keeping her trap shut lest she incurs further wrath from Fang.
​
Finally, I received the dressing down of a lifetime from Principal Spears. I don't think I've ever heard anyone scream as loud as he had over my blatant violation of dorm visiting hours or how reckless what I did was. Thankfully, the security guard vouched for me, clarifying that my actions were taken out of a misguided attempt at preventing the loss of a life… even if my fears ultimately turned out completely false. Thanks to that guard, what would have been at least a day's suspension turned into more campus beautification via the gardening club. Of course, since Stella is standing president, this upcoming weekend wouldn't be as bad. At least, that was the hope.
​
As Stella and I sit on the campus rooftop enjoying our lunch and some anime on her phone, I can't help but feel slightly fortunate that things turned out as they had. Sure, people got hurt, and life wouldn't be the same anymore, but it all could have gone so much worse than it had…
​
"Hey, Anon!" Stella called to me, snapping me out of my thoughts.
​
"Yes?" I answered with a smile.
​
"Are you done narrating everything that's happened to you since last week?"
​
I blink a couple of times and groan. 'Stupid mumbling,' I think to myself.
​
Stella giggles and gives me a peck on the cheek. "It's okay. I like your mumbling. It reminds me of a lot of a show where the MC thinks to himself out loud in an echo-y voice."
​
I let out a laugh at that. "I know they do that for the benefit of the audience, but have you ever wondered the logistics of it? Does it happen in real-time, or is it like slowed-time? What about if another character can read minds? Is it acknowledged, or do they just roll with it like it's normal?"
​
Stella gives me a shrug and cuddles up to me a bit more. "Whatever the case is, I like it. Never stop doing it, Anon."
​
I hug Stella tighter, thankful to have someone in my life that doesn't view my mumbling habit as something in need of correction but rather to be celebrated.
​
"So," I ask, looking my weeb stego girlfriend in the eye, "What are we watching today?"
​
"Glad you asked!" Stella chirps as she does various taps on her phone. "Today, we're watching Runaway Space Ideon!"
​
I only know of the show, thanks to it being one of the earlier works of Yoshiyuki Tomino, aka "Kill 'em All" Tomino.
​
Stella lets out another giggle. "That's right, Anon, and he would later go on to make the Gundam Series!" she gave me another kiss on the cheeks and beamed. "See, you're not the only one who can address a non-existent crowd of people!"
​
I roll my eyes and tap her phone. "Let's stop poking fun at my disability and start watching!"
​
"Hey!" Stella suddenly exclaims, giving me a furrowed look. "I, for one, find your 'disability' extremely charming and worth protecting!"
​
I again roll my eyes, but I can't help but have a huge grin on my lips as I do.
​
The door to the rooftop suddenly opens, surprising Stella and me. For a second, I dread to think that it's Naser and Naomi once again coming up to have their brand of fun. I let out a sigh of relief when I realize that it's only Fang who's visiting us.
​
Wait. Fang's visiting us?
​
We pause the video as Stella and I look at each other, confirming that no, we were not having separate hallucinations about Fang standing in front of us and that yes, the real flesh and blood Fang was there.
​
"Hey, dweebs," Fang says in a cheerful, albeit slightly forced tone before either Stella or myself can say anything. "H-how are you," she then says in a more reserved manner, one closer to how she likely feels in that moment.
​
Stella and I look at each other again before Stella looks Fang in the eyes and smiles widely. "We're doing great, actually!" she exclaims in a bubbly way that just makes me want to hug her tighter.
​
Fang gives Stella a nod and a smile before glancing my way. It's quick, but I can once again see the pain in her eyes as she grabs onto her arm and fidgets a bit.
​
"I… I just came by to see how you guys were doing, but it seems like everything's cool, so I worried for nothing!" she lets out a single laugh and turns around. "A-anyway, I'll let you two get back to your anime watching. I'll… I'll see you both later…"
​
"Wait," I start, calling out to Fang just as she's about to open the door. I look at Stella, who gives me a smiling nod. She seems to know my plan before I can even tell her anything.
​
"Do you… want to hang out for the rest of lunch?" I ask, not knowing what kind of answer I would get from Fang.
​
Fang's eyes widen for a split second before she clears her throat and fidgets a bit more.
​
"I mean… I don't know… I do have a lot of things to do, a-and places to be and other stuff…" She takes a deep breath and gives us a wide smile. "But, seeing as you two dweebs are so alone up here, I'll stick around for a while."
​
"We'd love to have you join us!" Stella joyously exclaims.
​
I give Fang a nod, though I'm not ready yet to say anything else to her. So much had happened, and so much of that pain was still fresh. Yet, ignoring it or letting it fester wasn't healthy for any of us. Regardless of what we were at the end of the day or who we chose to give our hearts to, we were still friends, our tribulations helping to forge us into stronger people. After all, loving someone meant far more than just a physical relationship.
​
Fang takes another deep breath and walks towards us, a bitter-sweet smile on her lips.
​
Yes. Fang may not have been my goth ptero girlfriend anymore, but that didn't stop her from being my friend any less, and friends support each other through thick and thin...
​
THE END