# Perfect Situation Chapter 2

Chapter 2: Why Bother?
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I can't believe I'm saying this but I think I need to go outside. Staying cooped up any longer threatens to undo all the muscle mass I suffered to attain in the navy. Closing my eyes I started rubbing the soreness in them away, the pale blue light from the laptop screen was still burned into my retina. Standing up from my well worn chair I stretch away the aches that six hours of motionless shitposting earns you. Glancing briefly at the assorted plates, cups and boxes of trash that have piled up around my rather pathetic battlestation. A voice in the back of my mind is telling me that I should move some of it to the trash, I'm getting up anyways so I might as well right? However I just turn away from the mess, what was the point of cleaning up when no one but me was going to see it anyways? Staggering over some long forgotten trash that had apparently fallen to the floor I make my way to the kitchen to inspect what little remains in the fridge.
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Salami, half a jar of tomato sauce, a packet of ramen and two eggs are all that greet me when I open the door. With a sigh I begin collecting the paltry remains and set a pot of water to boil. Staring at the water beginning to bubble I'm reminded of when I was younger, I'd get so animated talking to the invisible camera pretending that I was some foodie on YouSnoot. I can't help but chuckle at the idea as I begin dumping my ingredients into the now boiling pot. The thought still hasn't left my head however, pretending I was on YouSnoot did give me some inspiration to cook more than ramen and eggs. A long repressed urge was welling within me that would not be denied, What was the harm in acting childish now and then?
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"What up, it's ya boy Anonymous back at it again with whatever this fuckin' mess is." I smirk at the invisible audience to my side
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"Now, what you wanna do when you're depression cooking is actually have real food and ingredients in the house otherwise you end up having to get creative! What I've done here is what I like to call the ramalami special."
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My fun was cut short by the fact that I wasn't actually cooking anything that special which didn't leave me much to comment on. Despite that I still managed to have enough fun to eat my atrocious lunch with a smile. Pushing open my door I'm greeted with the chilled coastal air that threatened to dampen my tentative good mood. Time for the cheapest method of warming up known to man and dino alike, exercise. Jogging down the street with my arms pumping and chest heaving I started to regret my smoking habit. More focused on the pain in my chest I didn't pay too much attention to people on the street. Running past polychromatic blurs on my way to the gym I cant help but wonder why the hell it was called skin row when we were clearly still the minority? Meteor dodgers aside it wasn't long before I was forced to slow to a walk thanks to my lungs being unable to decide whether they needed me to breath or cough more. God was I really this out of shape already? Thankfully I managed to last long enough to put the bleakness of my shitty neighborhood behind me.
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Staring at the building I came all this way for left me taken aback by just how impressive it was. The building was far bigger than the shitty holes in the wall that I was used to and as I peered through the huge glass windows that dominated the entrance I could see an honest to god boxing ring! This place was in my price range!? Guess people just don't use the gym much these days, can hardly blame them for that considering I wouldn't be here if my life were on track. Stepping through the door I was greeted with a thankfully warm blast of air that was tinged with the smell of sweat and the sounds of exercise. Scanning the room I was astonished at just how many people were here, damn near every machine had a colorful occupant. So much for unpopular I thought as I moved to check in, the woman at the front seemed quite surprised to see a human. The green and purple raptor who introduced herself as Sarah turned out to be very animated and immediately drowned me in questions
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"Wow, did you just move here!?"
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"I read that humans were endurance hunters, you must have great stamina huh?"
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"I hear humans have a year long mating season!"
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"Are you doing anything later?"
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She kept talking but god damn this girl was way too high energy, I tuned her out almost immediately. It took a few minutes of non-commital grunts and nods before she eventually took the hint and let me sign up. She looked disappointed but I was disappointed to be here so that makes us equal, sorry toots. Walking away from the tenacious theropod it dawned on me that I didn't exactly have much to do with all of the weights taken. The only unoccupied equipment were the treadmills and I had done more than enough cardio getting here. With a sigh I realized I'd have to actually talk with people and made my way to the lat pulldown machine. Standing behind an absolute manlet of a triceratops I watched him pull some honestly impressive weights for his size, that was about what I lifted and I easily had 6 inches on this guy. Facing towards the wall he didn't seem to notice me so I cleared my throat, hoping it wouldn't be lost in the din of clanking metal and grunting men. I could have sworn I saw his head twitch a bit but he continued pumping iron so he must not have heard me.
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"Hey buddy, you almost done?" I tried my best to sound amicable and not as irritated as I was feeling.
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He flinched, damn near dropped his weights in the process. Come on pal, just give up the machine so I can get out of here. It took a few moments but eventually he did the exact opposite, returning to his routine like I wasn't even there. Oh, fuck this guy! I didn't have to put up with this shit! Looking around the gym once more I hoped that somebody else had finally finished but raptor jesus did not smile down on me, per usual. My cursory glance did inform me of one thing though, that big central boxing ring was totally empty. That was certainly an idea, I could use that hand to hand training for some good after all. Maybe pounding this gym rat would help me work through some frustration? I shook the phantom image of Fang and her tired eyes from my mind and set my jaw, preparing the most authoritarian voice I could muster.
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"Look, I ran the whole way here and I'd like to be done and get home before dark so unless you'd like to be my exercise in the ring I'd really appreciate-"
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"Sure." SHE interrupted me, this was a girl? She was fucking jacked! Now that I know it's no homo I have no shame in admitting I was mirin'
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I swear that voice was familiar, it niggled some long forgotten memories but remained stubbornly out of my reach. Until she turned around that is, No fucking way was this the same girl. Trish looked up at me with that unforgettable smirk, a smirk who's smug aura mocked me and informed me that I had fallen for some kind of trap. Trish stood up, taller than before but so was I, her well-defined muscles glistening in the fluorescent light. She looked me up and down, muscular arms crossed as she took in the one and only Anon Y. Mous
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"You look terrible." she finally said, making no attempt to conceal her judgement
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"You look like you changed your name to Terry, your point?" I drawled, far too drained to put up with the bullshit of someone like Trish
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Her faced screwed up with an anger I was all too familiar with "You're a real piece of shit you know that? Five whole years you've been gone and you come back a bigger asshole than ever!"
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"So are you going to let me have the machine or not?" I replied, trying to convey just how bored I was with this conversation. Who gives a shit what Trish thinks?
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Her eternal smirk returned "Oh no, you wanted to spar. I've been waiting five years to punch you in the face"
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She headed for the back where the gloves were presumably stored with her shoulders square and head held high, the absolute picture of confidence. Her self-assured stride didn't go unnoticed as a few people stopped what they were doing when she walked past, murmuring to one another. The room was suddenly alive with an energy that was absent before until it was punctuated by a shout that made its way across the room.
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"Trish got a live one!"
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If I thought the room was animated before it paled in comparison to now, damn near everyone had dropped their weights and was gathering around the ring. Utterly baffled at an entire building of people suddenly invested in my fight with a girl I hadn't seen since highschool I looked at the the guy next to me dumbfounded. The.. Shark? Man in question grinned mercilessly at me from behind his sunglasses, Why the hell was he wearing those indoors anyways?
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"You fucked up my man, Better not pussy out! Been a while since we got a show" he snickered behind rows of sharp teeth.
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A show? Does Trish do this often?
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"So uh..." I mumble, still staring at the growing crowd "is Trish popular around here?"
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He laughs at that "Oh yeah, she's in here every damn day and beating up idiots like you is practically her hobby. Hell she's beaten up most of the guys here, we call her the tiny terror" He continues laughing until he realizes what he's said "Don't uh... Don't actually tell her we call her that."
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I can see Trish entering the ring with an extra pair of gloves around her neck, guess it's time to pay the piper. Leaving chadshark blubbering behind me I push my way past the crowd to enter my own side of the ring. Raptor jesus on his cross of rock even the receptionist is getting in on this? Sarah is practically bouncing where she stands waving and cheering for me, At least she seems earnest. Her voice is practically drowned out by everyone else jeering and laughing at the new guy about to get his shit pushed in. Well fuck those guys, I was a navy seal with 300 confirmed theoretical kills. Like hell I was going to lose to Trish of all people, stepping through the elastic bands I swaggered over to meet her in the center. Trish had clearly been working out but she didn't have actual combat experience, besides, a little muscle mass isn't going to make up for the weight and height difference. She tossed a pair of gloves at me and waited patiently as I strapped them on, that smug smile of hers never left her face.
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"Any last words, skinnie?" She asked nonchalantly while doing a few preliminary stretches
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Finishing the last of the straps I looked over to her, a moment I never realized that I was waiting for had been dropped right in front of me.
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"Don't hate me because I'm beautiful" I leaned forward for effect "Triggaaaaa~"
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Raising my fists for the oncoming onslaught I positively basked in the gasp of our spectators and the renewed cheers, looks like I won some favor with the crowd for that one. Surprisingly Trish didnt rush right at me or scream about words belonging to her, peeking over my mitts I can see an array of emotions flick across her face. Her confident smug was lost to absolute shock, slipped into that insensate rage that I was familiar with, then to arousal? Back to rage and finally her confident smirk surfaced once again though the smile was strained, another win for me. Trish decided against saying anything to my surprise and instead walked forward just as casually as she did when she retrieved the gloves. I could sense a danger in her stance however, this time we were in the ring and all my anime poisoned brain was good for was reminding me of a jojo meme. Well if she was just going to walk at me...
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I held out a gloved hand where it rested against her forehead, keeping her at arms distance and my body well away from any punches she could throw at me. Looking down at trish I adopted a smug smirk of my own
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"Honestly Trish, what did you expect?"
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The next few moments were a blur, mostly because I found myself airborne without realizing how. Trish grabbed my arms one moment and the next I was on my back, Jesus that hurt. Stumbling to my feet I looked around for my opponent and caught sight of a red mass consuming my vision. Trish clocked me straight in the face with a resounding thud, did she weight that thing with rocks? The brain clattering around in my skull finally realized I was in a fight and sent adrenaline pumping through my body. She threw a second punch as I was reeling but I managed to catch her fist with my own. Squinting past the stinging in my face I defaulted into the training that was beaten into me long before Trish had her chance. I wasted no time in throwing one hell of a haymaker at her, I had to get the momentum back on my side. The tiny terror nimbly hopped back, of course she did, while I was still stuck in my follow through she darted back in to land a quick jab into my side. Painful but she didn't knock the breath out of me at least, how was she so fast? Throwing another punch, this one far more conservative proved to have the same result. I was still pushing her back though and there was nowhere to run in the ring. Jab after jab rewarded me with only the swish of air but just as I was sweating from the exertion I had finally cornered her.
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Time to finish this, faking with my left fist I clocked my right back for a punch that would have put my old officer to shame. As pumped with adrenaline as I was I saw it all in slow motion. Trish, faced screwed up with concentration, abused her short height and fucking ducked beneath my blow. I knew what came next but I couldn't whip my body around fast enough to stop her before she planted her fist firmly in my gut. Pain exploded from the impact and left me sputtering and choking on my own spit, gasping for air. I swung wildly, mostly as a reflex but it did succeed in getting her away from me before she could follow up and end the fight.
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Taking up a far more defensive stance this time I raked in ragged breaths, couldn't let her get another hit like that in or I'd be hitting the mat for sure. We watched each other for a moment, circling one another slowly with the roar of the crowd dim and distant beneath the blood roaring in my ears. I expected Trish to be mocking me the whole while, to have to put up with that smug cunt look of hers. Instead her face was stone and her eyes were calculating, she was clearly putting everything she had into this fight. Watching the girl before me, now a woman who was clearly in her element I realized something that shocked me, she was beautiful.
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I could feel my guard slip as I got lost in my thoughts and Trish noticed it immediately forcing me to struggle to put up a defense against her blows. Just as quick as she darted in though she retreated and we resumed pacing about like a cat and mouse. To my chagrin I didn't feel like the cat in this situation. Alright, snap out of it anon you haven't even landed one punch yet! Your pride as a man is riding on this! She's clearly experienced, I need to do something that will take her off balance. My mind flickered to fang, my stomach still roiled thinking of her but I was willing to bet that bringing her up would hurt Trish more than it would me. The thought made me grimace, it would work but that was a new low. Just how badly did I want to win? Steadying myself I took a deep breath despite the pain in my gut, raising my fists I caught her eye and gave her the smarmiest grin I could.
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"Heh, you're pretty good."
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"Pretty... Good?" Trish seemed halfway between confusion and outrage
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That was my chance, this time I was the one springing forward like a viper. Trish reacted with impressive speed but still too slow, I brought my fist up and cracked her right on the chin. Now THAT was a punch, I wouldn't be surprised if I lifted her off her feet with that. Hopping back from the recovering triceratops I let an easy smile come over me, fists still raised and dancing on my feet. Trish recovered far quicker than I expected, when she caught my gaze again I realized that her eyes were still focused. How the hell was that possible? She's even smiling god damnit! I didn't get much time to question it because Trish barreled after me, her strikes were too fast to block all of them as she peppered my abdomen and sides with jabs. God damn those sting, alright enough with this boxing shit it clearly wasn't working. Gritting my teeth I hunched down and launched myself forward, arms wide as I tackled her to the ground. Trish let out a surprisingly girlish yelp as I took her to the mat, her scales were warm and slick with the exertion of kicking my ass. Ha! Now I've got the tiny terror where I want her, raising my arm up I... Oh that's a fist coming for me. My vision is quickly obscured with red before it's lost entirely, I could use a nap anyways.
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After a positively riveting conversation with my ancient reptile brain, nice guy by the way, I found myself thrust back into my body of meat and pain. Groaning I blinked my eyes a few times and forced my head to swivel so I could see just what dimension I had landed in. I was seated on a bench outside the gym, the fluorescent lights too bright to look at compared to soothing night sky. Looks like volcadera bluff, figures I couldn't just isekai into my favorite visual novel, muzzle game. I took a moment to lean my head back and bask in the chilly air caressing my bruised and sore flesh, conciousness was overrated.
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"Hey you, you're finally awake." A feminine voice jolted me out of my fugue.
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I suddenly became aware of a purple triceratops waiting expectantly for a reply. Wait, Trish was sitting right next to me? Since when? I really must have been out a long time because her hair was no longer damp with sweat instead curled into her usual style. Not to mention her impressive musculature and no less impressive bust were hidden beneath a warm looking jacket. She raised an eyebrow quizzically as I looked her over but chose not to comment.
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"Why are you sitting with me?" I sighed quietly, in too much pain to put effort into my voice. It was a genuine question. Didn't Trish hate my guts?
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"Because I wanted to make sure I didn't kill you, idiot." She replied snarkily
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Fair enough then, I sort of wish she had honestly. Would have a been a fitting end I thought as I dug around for my beloved smokes. A faded memory of fang mentioning cigarettes helping with pain weighed heavily on my mind. It definitely felt like I fell down those stairs a second time. At last finding my addiction I popped the menthol between my lips and inhaled the sweet succor that numbed the aches and pains of existence if only a little. Glancing over to trish I could see she was still looking at me or more specifically my cigarette, fuck it lets be polite for once. Taking one last beautiful drag I plucked it from my lips and held it over to Trish, trying my best to look friendly to the woman who knocked my ass out. Trish's face scrunched up at the smell of nicotine, the look she gave me definitely implied she thought I was a fucking idiot.
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"I don't spend hours working on my body just to ruin it, no thank you" her tone was snippier than the night air, clearly a sore subject.
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Shrugging my shoulders I brought the precious cancer back to my lips for another drag, Tapping the ash on the pavement. I groaned inwardly, I was too hurt to get up and leave and I didn't want to sit around with an awkward silence. I guess I could catch up with her, we used to sort of be friends after all, right?
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"So... Gym, huh? Wouldn't have expected you to be the type" I said exhaling smoke as I did so.
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Trish adopted her old smirk but for whatever reason it lacked the mean spirit I usually associated with it.
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"Let me put it in terms you understand" she jutted her lower jaw forward, furrowed her eyebrows and uttered in her best baritone "Me lift heavy stone, make sad head voice quiet" her smile returned with a giggle at her casual racism.
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Now it was my turn to raise an eyebrow. "Alright, I suppose I deserved that after my comment in the gym"
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"You definitely did"
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"Guess all your experience beating people up in high school paid off, you're even better at it now" I countered, unwilling to let her have the last word.
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She snorted at that "Oh please, there was only a few times" She started ticking fingers as she mentally went through them, when she got to ten she mysteriously decided to stop counting and became rather interested in anything but me.
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We returned to silence after that but this time it felt a little more companionable. Never thought I'd meet Trish again, let alone that it would go better than my encounter with Fang. Flicking the butt of my cigarette and grinding it beneath my shoe I immediately lit up another one, fuck I hurt. Sliding a new menthol between my lips I looked over to see that Trish seemed pensive, something within my cold dead heart wanted me to ask her what was wrong. Maybe I was just lonely and didn't want the conversation to end or maybe I wasn't as upset at Trish as I thought. Aw hell, it's not like I was going to see her again after tonight right? Don't think I could show my face around here after getting cold clocked by Trish anyways.
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"Spit it out, I'm listenin'" I mumbled with the cigarette between my lips as I dug around for the lighter I literally just had.
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"I just wanted to say, well, I'm sorry." her voice was soft and tinged with enough raw emotion that told me she was telling the truth
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I could feel my eyebrows rocket up my skull and it was only luck that kept that blessed cigarette in my mouth as it hung limply from my slack jaw.
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"You.. You want to apologize to me?" I was legitimately baffled, Never in my wildest dreams had I expected this
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She let out a heavy sigh before she spoke "Where to start? I shouldn't have been so hostile to you back at school, I had gotten so comfortable with the band that having some new guy there changing everything made me freak out."
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"But it's not like I was any better friend to you, we were kids." I reminded her. Wait, why was I defending Trish?
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"Just today I tricked you into a fight you couldn't win so I could vent five year old frustrations on you" she argued.
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I waved her off "Yeah but I was still the one who asked for it, besides you act like I wasn't eager to punch you in the face too."
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The corners of her lips twitched as she threatened to smile but she looked away and continued "It was monstrous of me to dig up your past to try and humiliate you in front of Fang and the school. When Fang broke up with you I was ecstatic to have my friend back but she wasn't the same. I couldn't console her or change her mind until eventually she just... drifted further and further away."
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She turned back to look me in the eyes, her own were glistening with tears that threatened to spill. "This whole time I couldn't help but think that I was the one putting strain on your relationship, that you never apologized to her because of me, that I was the reason Fang left everyone behind."
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That gave me a bit to think about, it was true that Trish strained my relationship with Fang. I did end up more hostile after the doxxing incident, it was hard not too with everyone laughing at me. I could hear Fang's voice clear as day reminding me that "Trish was right about you." It was true that that the thought of Trish's smug face made me tentative to approach the gang again. It made me feel like there was no way I could make up with Fang while Trish was whispering in her ear. Could it really be that simple? Trish was the one to blame for my fucked up life? Looking at the woman next to me, her breathing interspersed with silent sobs as she let herself relive every mistake she made... It made it hard to believe. My skull throbbed painfully, trying to think of some bullshit to excuse myself was proving too difficult when my brain felt like it was swelling. It would be easy to blame her for everything but I don't think even I could convince myself of it afterward.
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"You cant apologize for that either, Trish." I spoke, my throat constricting as even through the fog of my mind I realized what I was admitting to the both of us.
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"You aren't responsible for me, What I said to Fang were the words of a drunk idiot who was too much of an asshole to get over himself and try to earnestly understand the girl he loved. What I did afterward were the actions of a coward who would rather blame the world than himself and I'm not any better these days either." my voice rattled a bit as long forgotten emotion suddenly welled from within me
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Trish looked at me and I think this was the first time she truly looked at me, from my ratty clothes to my sunken eyes to the defeated posture I surely wore. I expected her to be relieved that I took the guilt off her or perhaps disgusted at who I had become but instead she smiled at me. It was a small smile, earnest and heartfelt that promised me she understood and it was because she understood that her smile was tinged with a sadness that her misty eyes only amplified.
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"If that were the case Anon, I don't think you'd have admitted it." she replied sounding just as shaky as I did.
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That hit me with a whiplash I wasn't expecting, both her realization and the fact that she used my name for the first time in memory. My mouth worked but I just couldn't find the words for her, not that it mattered because she kept speaking.
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"It was nice of you to try and take some of the guilt off me" her smile got a little sadder as she continued. "But there's one thing I'll always blame myself for, I wanted to break you and Fang up because I was jealous she got you before I did."
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Fucking hell Trish, keep dropping those bomb shells why don't you.
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"Y-You were?" I stammered out, barely recovered from the first revelation.
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She chuckled, still a little choked with emotion for a true laugh "Well yeah, why do you think I was always so mean to you? That's how girls show these things"
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"In grade school!" I raised my voice a little louder than I meant to, but seriously!?
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She looked indignant, puffing her cheeks "it's not like I got to interact with many boys! There was literally just Reed and he was pitching for the other team!"
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That was... Actually not that surprising, honestly with eyelashes like those...
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"We were stupid kids, huh?" I realized as I flicked the stub of my cigarette to the sidewalk
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"I don't know, I think you're still pretty stupid" she crossed her arms, a bit of her old snark returning but I could tell she didn't mean it. When I didn't bother to defend myself she decided to follow it up.
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"If you weren't then you'd have realized that I'm actually pretty great, not merely 'good'" she said it with such disgust I was fairly certain she was genuinely offended at the the idea
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"Yeah, you are" I said with an easy smile, surprising myself at how quickly and naturally that slipped out of me.
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Oh wow, I've never seen Trish blush before. The moment didn't last long unfortunately and we shared a somewhat nervous laugh at her expense, that long forgotten emotion in my breast was more present than ever. Putting this ghost to rest felt good and sharing the night with a friend who felt both old and new was good for the soul. We chatted more under the moonlight, about the past and about our careers. Turns out Trish really did go to the gym every day as she worked as a personal coach and dietician, she punched me in the arm when I told her she was always good at telling others what to do. I'm proud to say that I didn't cry even though I really wanted to. She seemed quite attentive to my old navy stories and was shocked at the tattoo's that I still had and the scars of those removed. Eventually however Trish checked her phone and frowned, seems all good things must come to an end. She stood from the bench and stretched out some aches giving me the chance to check her perfectly sculpted rear before she offered me her hand.
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"You said you ran here? Can't exactly have you run home in your condition. Let me drive you, least I can do." She didn't actually wait for me to take her hand as she grabbed my arm and yanked me to my feet. Ow. Rosa eat your heart out.
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I wasn't about to refuse, If I even made it to skin row I'd likely be shanked before I got home. Giving Trish my address had her frown at me, concern clear in her eyes. I'm not sure why because she was easily the toughest damned dinosaur I've ever met by now. My thoughts drifted briefly to an absolute leviathan of a man, scar cut across the side of his face and the rumble of his voice as he made it clear he wasn't above decapitating me with a blunt object. Okay, maybe second toughest dinosaur. Trish led the way to her truck, far bigger than it needed to be but you know what they say about stereotypes. Buckling in and enjoying the plush seat I shot a small smile at Trish who returned it. Starting the truck the lights of the city were soon flashing by and suddenly the rigors of the day to hit me like, well, like Trish. Resting my head against the door and closing my eyes the last thing on my mind was just how different Trish seemed. It was a pleasant thought that lulled me to sleep just as surely as the rumble of the engine.