# Catching Butterflies Chapter 5

~Catching Butterflies: Chapter Five~
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The sound of whining hinges breaks the silence as I push the front door to my apartment open. I let it shut behind me, depositing the items in my pocket on a small table next to the door. Flipping the lights on, I stare at the lonely room, where I’ve spent the last few years doing absolutely nothing. I feel like an outsider; This used to be my reprieve from judgement, from both myself and others. I threw that all away in the vain hope that I could be a better person, but the hollowness that grasps my heart tells me there’s no point. I take off my shoes, leaving them by the door too as I grab my phone and sit down at my desk. The conflict between my desire to change and my feelings of futility go head-to-head in my mind. I can’t help but clutch at my head as a splitting headache begins to burn me. To silence both schools of thought, I hit the power button of my computer and watch the screen light up; I must’ve left it in Sleep mode by accident. All the better for me now, though; I search my desktop for the icon I’m looking for. There it is.
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I launch Rock Ring: Combat Devolved. It’s not too long before I’ve connected to a multiplayer server and begun the familiar process of clubbing random strangers. It helps to numb my headache; time spent focusing on the game is time spent not acknowledging how I seem to ruin everything I touch. I wouldn’t call myself great at the game, but I’m not bad, either. The constant fight for the top of the scoreboard makes every match bleed into one another. Soon enough, I completely lose track of time. It’s only upon practically throwing my mouse to the side and mashing left click to hit a slingshot flick that I snap back to reality. The left button of my mouse lets off a sickening noise, and after a few further clicks, I realize I’ve just broken my mouse. I watch my character die, then look at the mouse with a frown. Time to face reality, I guess.
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I pull out my phone from my pocket, checking the time; two in the morning. It’s actually kind of relieving, knowing I’ll be lost in a dream for the next eight or so hours. I get up off my chair, changing into more comfortable clothing before climbing into bed and relaxing under the warm covers. Wrapping myself up, I shut my eyes. As pathetic as it is, I pretend I’ve been wrapped up in a wing hug by my loving guardian angel, Fang. She stares at me with those amber eyes, seeing some sense of worth in me that nobody else has. She holds my hand, protecting me dearly from anything that would try to hurt me. Not out of obligation, but out of love. I can’t help but shed a tear as I drift off to sleep in her arms.
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~
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My head throbs as sunlight shines into my room and stirs me awake. Blinking my blurred vision away, I rub my head as I look around my room. I have nothing to do today, but staying in bed feels wrong. I try to recall last night’s dream, to no avail as usual. This time, though, I remember it was pleasant; the only remaining thing I can recall before it fades away completely is a set of pale yellow eyes staring into me. It doesn’t take long before I come to the conclusion that they’re Olivia’s; whatever I was dreaming about must have involved her. With Olivia on my mind, I suddenly find myself deflated as I recall the events of yesterday. My attempt at protecting her by refusing to help her to the roof; what should I have done? I couldn't bear to see Olivia hurt, but I don't want to be a bad friend. Sighing, I pull myself out of bed. It's a question I'll have to answer another day; for now, I'm actually starving. I recall that I didn't eat anything last night except for a hotdog; I decide to search my pantry and fridge to see if I can cobble something filling together. My attempts at rummaging for food aren't successful; unless there's something I can make out of stale pasta, table salt, milk and a jar of pickles, I'll probably have to go to the store. I silently seethe at having to leave my room, especially this early.
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I put on some half-presentable clothing and grab my wallet, keys, lighter and cigarettes before walking out the front door. On the elevator ride down to the parking lot, I find myself considering walking instead. There's a 7/11 not too far away, and maybe it'll be good for me to get some exercise. As I reach the parking lot, I look between my car and the street that leads from my apartment building. It's actually somewhat quiet right now; maybe walking would be nice. Then again, maybe I'll get pulled into a passing alley and get mugged. Deciding between the two options leaves me standing in the parking lot for an oddly long time, and I start to wonder if anybody's watching me; I commit to walking, if only to stop myself from standing around like a weirdo. Between my job and my reclusive tendencies, I don't usually get to see Volcadera Bluff at this hour, and I start to regret that; it's surprisingly quiet, and I find myself admiring the few shrubs and trees that dot the sidewalk of this urban residential area. They're ugly, but there's almost a beauty to be found in it; despite everything, they continue to grow. It reminds me of my own inability to grow most houseplants. No matter how hard I try, I can't seem to care for them without them wilting away. I guess I just don't know what plants need.
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About fifteen minutes pass before I realize this is taking longer than I remember. Looking around the block, I start to realize I must’ve gone completely off course; I don’t actually know where I am right now. The dilapidated buildings and hooded figures that dot the area start to rouse a sense of paranoia in me. I start looking around for street signs, praying I didn’t just end up in a ghetto. My fears are realized; I’ve somehow landed myself right in the middle of Skin Row. This place has a reputation for being a hellhole; my only saving grace is the fact that it’s human dominated, so I’m not going to be beaten to death in some kind of race war. Still, I’m definitely an outsider here, so I quickly pull up my GPS and reorient myself before speed walking to get out of the area as fast as possible.
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Luck is on my side, as my walk is uneventful aside from some harsh glares by passers-by. Maybe I should start carrying a knife on me, in case this happens again. Regardless, I’m back on my way to the convenience store, though I’m approaching it from the opposite direction than I normally would. My walk takes me through several commercial areas, with stores lining the sidewalk begging for customers to enter. Toys, knick-knacks, greasy food, clothes; everything you could ever want is right here. A more class-conscious man would comment on the depravity of it all, but I don’t really care; besides, there’s a certain kind of soul to urban living like this. Maybe I’m just being too optimistic, though. I take in the sights; the neon lights meant to bring attention to advertisements, the well-worn concrete that’s started to crack, and even the buckets of rust that are parked along the street. Well, apparently all except one. A dented-up sports car also sits along the road, next to a blinking parking meter. I suppose its owner didn’t take maintenance costs into account when buying it. The store isn’t too far away, so I continue walking.
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Wait. I can’t help but suddenly stop myself and double take on the damaged sports car that sits on the side of the road. I back up to get a closer look at it; the license plate on the back of the car reads, “N45 C4R”. Nascar? Like, the motor sport? The word Nascar runs through my mind a few times before I tangentially recall a name. This looks nearly identical to Naser’s car. Is he around here somewhere? I turn my head, scanning the street and looking for him. At a glance, it doesn’t look like it. I do notice that this space’s parking meter is blinking; it looks like it’s out of time. My better nature calls to me, and while I’d normally ignore it, the sentimentality of the car’s appearance gets the better of me. I scrounge though my pockets and pull out my wallet, grabbing a couple quarters from what little change I carry and putting them into the meter. That’ll buy another twenty minutes. I feel content with my good deed for the day; even if this car isn’t Naser’s, I still feel better about helping somebody out. I turn back down the street to walk away, but the sound of a ringing bell and a swinging door behind me shifts my attention towards a clothing store.
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Out from the frame of a swinging glass door steps the orange-highlighted pterosaur that I had just been thinking about. He's staring at his phone, practically oblivious to my presence as he walks toward the parking meter with change in his hand. I take a few steps towards him as he reaches the meter; I'm hoping maybe he'll have something to say about how Olivia's doing; Possible introductions go through my mind as I approach. Some degree of surprise covers his face when he notices the parking meter still has time. As I get closer, he looks up at me.
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"Oh hey, Naser. I alrea-" I'm met with visible recoil as Naser raises his arm defensively.
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"Who the f- Wait, YOU?" He spits, his expression settling into one of disgust or disdain. I try to speak, but my throat finds itself suddenly dry; I'm left standing there in complete silence as the accusatory stance Naser has formed saps any sense of confidence I just had. He lowers his arm, at least, indicating that he doesn't perceive me as any kind of threat. The expression does not change.
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"What do you want?" He asks, as if I've interrupted something important.
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Stuttering, I reply, "W-Well, I was on my way to get.. stuff, but I noticed your car. Small world, right?"
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His glare is not one of amusement; I don't think he believes me. He looks at the meter next to his car, confirming it has time before stuffing the change into his pocket again.
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With some reluctance, he utters, "Look, if this is about Olivia, I don't know what to tell you." I'm left speechless for a few moments as it becomes evident that he must've caught some sort of fallout from what happened last night.
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I try to apologize; "Look, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to hurt her, okay?"
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Deflecting it casually, he states, "I'm not the person you should apologize to, and I'm not going to be your middle man."
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He turns, ignoring me completely as he walks towards the door of the store he had left before. I call out his name and receive no response. I'm not quite sure why I do it, but I move forward and grab his shoulder, hoping to stop him in his tracks. I immediately regret it, though; Naser spins around and delivers a solid impact to my chest with an open hand as he shoves me backwards. I stumble, barely catching myself before I fall off the curb of the sidewalk. Pedestrians begin to turn their eyes, staring at both of us as this happens.
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With a hushed aggressive tone, Naser barks, "What the fuck is your problem, man?"
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The stress of the situation makes my mind race; I've already fragmented my relationship with Olivia, and here I am about to do the same with her closest friend. What is wrong with me?
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Scrambling for words to say, I let my thoughts spill out from my mouth with reckless abandon; "I- I don't want her to be alone, okay!? Can you just.. help me?"
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Whatever I said seemed to have some effect on him; Naser pauses for a few moments, his expression changing from one of defensive anger to quiet contemplation. We stand there for about ten seconds in total silence; by this point, any passers-by have moved on from the altercation. Naser finally sighs, and goes to speak. As he does, though, he's immediately cut off by the ringing of a bell from the door of the shop he was about to enter. He turns around, stepping off to the side and doing his best to return to normal as the woman glares at both him and me.
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The woman standing before me is the last person I'd ever expect to see today. My pure angel, the embodiment of love that had flooded my dreams over the last month. Fang. Between her perfect form, her angelic wings and the familiar makeup that highlights her eyes, I'm left stunned for several seconds.
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She ultimately settles her gaze on Naser, speaking with a confused tone that completely betrays the calming and gentle voice I had always imagined her to have; "Why the hell are you still out here?"
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Naser stares at her, nervousness clouding his face. I haven't ever seen him this vulnerable; he rubs his head while mumbling, "Just.. got caught up with, uh.. him."
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They both turn to look at me. All of a sudden, I feel very small. Remaining silent, it takes a few seconds before Fang directly speaks to me.
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"Who are you?"
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How am I supposed to answer that question? My name? My connection to Naser? What should my first impression be for the woman who saved my life from crumbling into dust?
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Coughing lightly, the only thing I can respond with is, "I'm.. just a friend."
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Her expression shifts to one of impatience, nonverbally indicating she does not have the time for evasive answers. Tightening her grip on what looks like a cloth shopping bag, she taps Naser on the shoulder and motions down the sidewalk.
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"We still have stores to hit, Naser. Let's go." Her words disregard my presence entirely, and I can't help but frown in response. The two begin to walk down the sidewalk, in the direction I had just come from. Once again abandoned, I reorient myself and begin my travel to 7/11. I guess what they say about 'Never meet your heroes' is true; Fang wasn't at all like I had expected. She's beautiful, sure, but very dismissive. I don't know what I expected, though; She barely knows me, and she has no reason to want to know me. I'm just a human. Just a human. That's all I'll ever be.
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"W-Wait!"
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Hearing the shouted word, I slowly turn myself back around. It looks like Naser has separated from Fang; he's begun jogging toward me with a strange expression on his face. I take a few steps forward, and we meet; The way he looks at me is strange, like he's desperate about something. I'm left with plenty of questions, at least until he starts speaking.
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With bated breath, he says, "You meant what you said, right? About Olivia?"
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It takes me a few moments to recall what exactly I said, but I eventually nod slowly.
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"Good." He says, digging in his pockets for something. He pulls out a pair of car keys, raising them toward his car and hitting the automatic unlock button. The beat-up sports car's lights blink, indicating it's been unlocked. He turns back toward me, looking somewhat relieved.
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In an expedient tone, he tells me, "Get in the car."
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I can't help but stare in confusion at Naser; What kind of request is that? Why did his demeanor change so suddenly? I try to seek answers to these questions, but whatever I'm about to say is cut off by the voice of Fang in the distance.
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"Are you kidding me? Where the hell are you going?"
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With a disgruntled expression, Fang approaches the both of us. Naser turns around, and Fang steps up to him; she looks genuinely upset. In a manner of appeasement, Naser raises both of his hands with open palms toward Fang.
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Stuttering, he says, "L-Look, Fang, just.. give me, like, half an hour, alright?"
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With a scowl, she replies, "You're seriously just going to leave me here?"
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"I'll be back! I just.. have to do something." The appeasing response doesn't do much to quell the disdain from Fang's face, but eventually she just throws her hands into the air.
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"Fine. I'll just.. walk around." Her words sound more disappointed than angry now, and I can't help but feel bad. Judging by his expression, Naser feels the same way; but whatever he wants us to do takes precedence. Walking toward his car, he motions me over as he opens the driver side of his car door and gets in. I follow suit, opening the passenger door to the car. Before I enter, however.. I need to do something.
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"Hey, Fang?"
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My words are carried across the wind, and upon reaching Fang, they cause her to turn. A quiet "Huh?" echoes from her as she waits for me to speak.
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"I.. liked your show. At prom."
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She looks at me, surprised. I guess it's been awhile since anybody's brought it up to her, given that it's been over a month since she played. We stare at each other for a few seconds, and I purse my lips; I hope I didn't offend her, or anything. The response I receive is unexpected; Fang, up until this point, gave me the impression that she'd deflect a compliment like that. That's part of the reason I didn't say anything earlier. Instead her snoot contorts, and I sense the faintest hint of a blush cross her cheeks. In an adorable fashion, she averts her eyes.
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"T-Thanks."
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Feeling content with my admission, I turn back to Naser's car and hop in. It's pretty spacious, I'll give him that; Aside from the cracked windshield, the car looks fairly nice on the inside. While I look around, Naser puts his seatbelt on and puts the key in the ignition, roaring the car to life. He throws the gear into reverse, backing up before putting it in drive and turning out of the parking space at the edge of the road. It's only now that I start to realize I have no idea what we're doing.
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"Naser, where are we even going?" I ask. He glances at me for a moment, but keeps his focus on the road.
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"We're, uh.. going to Olivia." He says.
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In a surprised confusion, I ask, "W-What do you mean? Where is she?"
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I watch him frown as he thinks for a moment, still paying attention to the road as we drive through the streets of Volcadera Bluff. Eventually, he utters a reply; "The hospital."
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I freeze for a moment, panic gripping me slightly as I ask, "Why the hospital? She's not hurt, is she?"
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Naser shakes his head; "Nah.. she's there for something else. You'll.. see when we get there."
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The response brings me a bit of relief, but not enough to quell my panic completely. I do my best to remain calm, looking out of the window at the passing scenery to hopefully alleviate my quickened heartbeat. We both sit in silence for a couple minutes as Naser focuses on driving; I'm not sure how far the hospital is, but it looks like we're getting unlucky with traffic lights.
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Sitting at a red light, Naser suddenly breaks the silence as he looks toward me; "So.. what happened between you two yesterday?"
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I don't know what to tell him, so I just try to be as factual as possible; "Well, she wanted to go to the roof. Asked me to carry her up the stairs. I.. didn't want to risk her getting hurt, so I told her 'No'. Then she just stormed off."
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Naser practically laughs; not the response I expected from him. Afterwards, though, his shoulders drop and he seems to deflate. I'm not sure what to make of that.
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Eventually, he forces a smile as he says, "Yeah. That sounds like her."
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That smile doesn't last long, and we sit in silence once again. I'm far from a socialite, so I don't know what would be appropriate to say. It becomes evident between the two of us that the ball is in Naser's park, so he finally speaks up.
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"I'm, uh.. gonna give you some advice, alright?" I nod towards him; I trust what he has to say enough now.
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With a reluctant tone and a distant gaze, he tells me, "Look. Olivia isn't.. she's not the kind of person that needs to be told what she can't do. She already knows that. She's known that for the last several years. She doesn't need someone to tell her that she'll 'fall'. She just.. she needs somebody to catch her when she does. You know what I mean?"
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I listen to his words carefully, trying to impart the lesson on myself. Metaphorically speaking, I guess he was right; Olivia knew full well she couldn't climb to the roof, and yet she did it anyway. She asked me for help, and I turned her down. It must've taken a lot of courage to do that; I know she likes to be independent, so it starts to make sense why she got so aggressive all of a sudden. A few months ago, none of this would've even crossed my mind. I take some solace in my social progress.
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I finally nod my head in response to Naser, who had been looking at me nervously for a few seconds now. He sighs, nodding as well. Still, he lowers his head.
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"I couldn't do that for her. Hopefully you can."
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The nonchalant nature of his words seem to betray what he's implying. Looking over at Naser, I purse my lips, but ultimately decide to speak my mind.
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"Uh, does that mean you two were.."
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My words don't seem to phase Naser very much, but as we reach another red light, it looks like he takes the time to revel in lone-gone memories of his. He shakes his head.
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"I didn't mean to.. Look, it was a long time ago. We tried, I couldn't.. didn't make it work. Forget I said anything."
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I didn't exactly expect him to tell me that, but it's more sad than anything. Even though the two had acted like friends the few times I had seen them, it seemed Naser still harbored some kind of guilt from the past. It seemed like we shared some qualities; that gave me somewhat of a confidence boost, given my high opinion of Naser. I couldn't quite put my finger on it, but something about him is trustworthy; the kind of person you'd want as a friend. Maybe it was the fact that he was driving me on my way to mend my relationship with the only person who's ever liked me, saving me from a wasted future. That was probably it.
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I hadn't even noticed, but it looks like we pulled into the nearby parking lot of a hospital. Admittedly, I had never been here, so I didn't know anything about the buiding.
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After finding a suitable space, Naser shifts the gear into park and looks at me with a neutral expression; "Well, here we are."
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After a bit of silence, I awkwardly ask, "What, like.. room number?"
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Naser blinks a few times before saying, "Oh, right. I think it's.. room three two six. If things work out, I'll come get you two. If not, uh.. well, I don't know."
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He's already done more than I could ever ask for, so I don't fault Naser for lacking a contingency. I offer a few final words to him before undoing my seatbelt and opening the door.
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"Thanks for this, man. Especially in the middle of your, uh.. date."
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Naser gives me an odd look as I step out of the car, asking, "Date? What do you mean, date?"
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I cough awkwardly, saying "With, y'know.. Fang."
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He looks taken aback, as if offended; in a desperate effort to correct me, he states, "Dude. She's my sister."
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Oh. I stutter out, "R-Really? You two don't- I didn't.. yeah, that's cool."
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Naser looks rather perturbed. I decide to close the door and end the interaction before things can get more awkward between the two of us; the hospital entrance is only a minute or two walk away. Naser shifts gears, pulling out of the parking space as I stand there. Not wanting to end on a bad note, I have one more thing to say.
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"Take it easy!"
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Naser looks at me through his open window, nodding silently as he offers me a slight wave before pulling away. I turn to the hospital building; it's only about five or so stories tall, but definitely wider than it is tall. I start toward the front entrance.
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This is it; probably my last chance to salvage our relationship. I don't know what awaits me in that hospital, or what she's doing in there, but I'll just have to do my best. The room number repeats itself in my mind; a clear sign of my own nervousness.
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Here's hoping I don't fuck it up.
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~END~