# Catching Butterflies Chapter 6

~Catching Butterflies: Chapter Six~
​
Room Three-two-six.
​
The automatic doors at the front of the hospital slide apart, allowing me to walk into the pristine lobby unobstructed. The area is picturesque, with sunlight pouring through a skylight overhead. The front desk is straight ahead with halls that run off to either side, and an elevator on the back wall leads to a platform that overlooks the area and leads off to both sides. Potted plants and wooden seating line the walls, and employees regularly traverse the area to destinations unknown.
​
Room Three-two-six.
​
I take a few steps forward, toward the main desk. Behind it sits a bright-orange triceratops currently tapping away at a computer on the desk. She looks bored, but seems abnormally dedicated to completing whatever monotonous errand she's likely busy with. Despite this, as I approach the main desk, her head turns to look up to me. The expression of boredom is immediately replaced with a smile, one that I can only assume is artificial.
​
Room Three-two-six.
​
Her chipper voice is somewhat off-putting, given my own nervousness; "Welcome to Volcadera Memorial Hospital, my name is Sarah, how may I help you today?"
​
"Room Three-two-six."
​
Her face slowly turns to one of confusion, and I realize what I said makes absolutely no sense. Raising a hand to my face, I cough before correcting myself; "I'm here to visit somebody."
​
Her face returns to normal, but I don't feel any less awkward about the exchange. She takes another look at the monitor, muttering something to herself as she begins to type.
​
She reaffirmed, "Room three two six, you said? I'll need your name and connection to the patient."
​
Giving her my name was easy, but I have no idea who the patient is. I tried to come up with something on the spot; "W-Well, I'm a.. friend of the family."
​
The triceratops hesitates for a moment, but eventually shrugs, seemingly appeased by the answer. I sigh internally, feeling a smidge of guilt for the lie. In any other circumstance, it probably wouldn't have worked, but I don't think the receptionist cares all that much. Either way, she fetches a paper badge from a printer below the desk and hands it to me. On it reads my name, an ID number, and the word "VISITOR" in large, red letters. I pin it to my shirt, adjusting to the awkward feeling of metal against my skin. Room three-two-six; that must be on the third floor, so my first destination is the elevator at the back of the lobby. Shuffling past bodies constantly entering and leaving the elevators, I tap the button for the third floor and wait with several others as the elevator begins its slow ascent. Light small talk between two dinosaurs in white coats fills the air in the meantime, leaving me unable to think too heavily about what exactly I'm going to do once I'm there.
​
A distinct 'ding' rings out as the elevator reaches the third floor, and as the doors open, I step out after the two doctors. They seem to know exactly where they're going, while I'm left scanning the walls for some kind of map. While I don't find one per say, there are large signs that list room ranges followed by large white arrows. The range of Three-two-zero to Three-three-zero is to the right, so I head in that direction. Each room is numbered as well, so I don't have a hard time finding room Three-two-six. The blinds are covered, so I can't exactly see into the room; I take the time to stop in front of the door and think about what exactly to do.
​
I'm assuming Olivia is in there, but not as a patient. Who is, then? Her father? Did he suffer some kind of accident? Why didn't she tell me? Shaking these unanswerable questions out of my head, I try to focus on what Naser told me. Relationships are mutual, not built on paternalism. I have to wait for Olivia to reach out before I can hold her hand. W-Well, not like that.. okay, maybe like that, I don't know yet. As my mind begins to drift on how exactly I feel about her, I'm brought back to reality by a nurse brushing against me in a passive aggressive manner; I realize that I'm standing in the middle of the hallway. Getting the message, I sigh and step forward, getting a firm grip on the sliding door handle before pushing it aside and stepping in.
​
The room itself is nearly pristine, with a clean floor and all furniture organized as if it's rarely used. The sound of a heart rate monitor's soft beeps echoes from beside the patient bed, and a moment's glance confirms that the room is occupied by somebody. Two bodies, in fact. Tucked into the patient bed on the right side of the room lies an older dinosaur with fair green skin and longer hair. She lies still, either asleep or unconscious with her arms to her side. Speaking of her arms, they feature a few tattoos with meanings I can't really decipher at a glance. Altogether, she looks.. peaceful. I quiet myself in fear of somehow waking her from the slumber.
​
Beside the older woman, in her signature wheelchair and facing mostly away from me, sits Olivia. Her green hair is notably matted, and she's hunched over with her hands buried into her face and covering her eyes. She hasn't even reacted to the sounds of my entrance, just remaining in that pose with the occasional breath. I'm left staring at the scene with only the sounds of the heart monitor to accompany me. My mind is blank, and my heart even more so. We spend several seconds in complete silence before Olivia's raspy voice breaks it.
​
"S-Sorry, I'm in the way."
​
She removes her hands from her face, placing them on the wheels of her wheelchair and haphazardly pushing herself out of the way of some of the more complex machines that lie beside the hospital bed. She must think I'm a doctor or nurse; I rack my brain trying to figure out some introduction that won't leave her completely pissed at me. This takes longer than I want it to; long enough to Olivia to shift her gaze towards me herself.
​
Our eyes lock. For a few moments, nothing happens. I try to speak, but nothing leaves my throat. The pain in Olivia's eyes has extradited any concept of speech from me. Continued silence fills the air, only broken in intervals by the beeping of the heart monitor. I need to say something, anything, to break the trace between us. Swallowing, I decide to force something out of my throat, even without thinking about it.
​
"Hey." I state, my voice breaking.
​
Obviously, this was not the correct choice of action, and I knew that even before she did. Still, I'm not even able to add anything to the statement to make it better; my mind endlessly fails me. Olivia continues to stare at me, processing the ridiculousness of my introduction. The pain in her eyes begins to warp, twisting her expression into one of anger as the two emotions mix into a disgusting combination. With grit teeth, Olivia's claws begin to dig into the armrests on her chair; claws that I can't help but notice would probably hurt if I were to be struck by them. Seeing her like this, I take a step back as fear grasps my heart; I'm left with conflicting feelings of wanting to reach out and ease her pain versus wanting to leave to stop her anger. This conflict leaves me standing still, unable to move, unable to act. I can't do anything. I can't help her, but I can't leave her.
​
Once again, Olivia has to be the one to break the silence. She gasps, letting her grip on the armrests of the wheelchair falter as the anger begins to subside from her and leaves only the pain. She lowers her head, muttering loudly; "Why.. why are you here?"
​
Why am I here? I'm here because I want to help you; because I don't want you to be alone. Or maybe I just can't stand being alone. How do I express that in words? What am I supposed to say?
​
I guess I should start with an apology.
​
"I'm here to say sorry." I tell her, with what little strength I could muster. Olivia gently raises her head to me, glancing at me for a few moments before looking off to the side.
​
Eventually, she responds, "Look, it's not your fault. I just thought.. that you'd understand, of all people."
​
I take a step closer to her, as desperation overtakes me; "N-No, I wasn't thinking about.. you. I was scared, and I let that mess everything up. I know now that you.. you don't want to be afraid. You don't need me or anybody else to be scared for you."
​
Olivia emits a sigh, and she noticeably sits up before saying, "Y-You really don't have to apologize. I should've just.. said how I felt, instead of storming off. It's my bad, I just wanted to.. y'know, live like a normal high-schooler. Be wild. Make memories. Stuff like that. That's why I wanted to go to the school."
​
I slowly nod my head, letting a few moments of silence go by before I speak; "Well.. starting now, we can be honest with each other, right?"
​
Olivia's head gently nods as well. The faintest hint of a smile tugs across her face, washing away some of the pain that lingers over her figure and holds her down. I can't help but smile in return; finally, something I've done matters.
​
Looking around the room, I find a flimsy wooden chair seated along the wall next to Olivia. I decide to sit down, figuring I'd be here with her awhile. She shows no objections to this, but does turn her head toward the older woman lying in the hospital bed.
​
Now is as good of a time as any to ask; "So.. who is she?"
​
Olivia glances toward me, and I can tell my question brings her some amount of anguish. I almost correct myself, but Olivia smiles as she turns back to the woman.
​
"That's.. Mom." She says, clearly reminiscing about past events.
​
I'm left frowning as my sense of empathy flares up. I didn't know Olivia's mother was in the hospital, but then again, I didn't know much about her friends and family at all.
​
"I-Is she alright?" I ask, hoping to ease my own sorrow. It quickly becomes apparent to me that a question like that probably isn't in good taste.
​
Much to my expectation, Olivia shakes her head slightly and exhales deeply, continuing to stare toward her mother with a morose expression. I want to comfort her, but I'm not entirely sure how or what to say. Maybe there's nothing to say at all; I decide to remain silent, letting us sit together in the peaceful silence for awhile. I'm sure everybody she's ever met has expressed their sympathy for the situation, and I've already said enough to bring up bad memories.
​
...
​
...
​
A few minutes pass as we both continue our bout of silence. Olivia remains lost in thought, probably about memories with her mother. The pain in her eyes as she remains this way, hunched over and supporting her head with her hands, brings me pain as well. In an effort to comfort her without breaking the silence, I raise my hand from the armrest of the chair and place it gently on her shoulder, reminding her that I'm here for her. Olivia's breathing pattern is interrupted as she cranes her head toward me, and the painful expression she harbors makes me consider abandoning the show of affection. To my surprise, she raises her own hand and places it overtop of mine as a smile tugs at the edges of her mouth. I'm completely new to holding hands, but something about it ignites a fluttering feeling that refuses to leave my heart.
​
"T-Thanks." Olivia utters, looking back towards her mother with a newfound sense of happiness. We sit like this for several seconds, and I can't help but notice how her hand feels. Her palms are soft, but the cool texture of her claws resting near my wrist causes a tingling sensation that shoots through my forearm. It's probably my nerves panicking over the danger of being raked open, but when combined with the warm feeling of her gentle affection, I'm left flustered in a way I cannot describe. The green baryonyx shows no signs of noticing my nervousness, though; I take a slight amount of relief in that.
​
"She was always so strong, y'know?"
​
The words tumble out of Olivia's mouth, breaking the silence. Her eyes glance toward me, and I nod in acknowledgement.
​
"No matter what happened, she'd be the one to help me, to pull me up and say it'd be alright.. but after the accident, she just.. I dunno, fell apart. Shutting herself away, smoking, drinking.. worse. She started coming home later and later every day, never sober, just.. passing out on the couch. Dad tried his best, but he couldn't.. help her."
​
Olivia's words echo throughout the room, followed by a bout of silence. I continue to listen.
​
"I tried everything I could, t-to show her that I was still me, that nothing had changed.. but it didn't work. I studied, I exercised, I tried to play with her like we usually did.. I already lost my legs, I d-didn't want to lose my Mom, too."
​
I continue to listen.
​
"She couldn't get over it.. like every time she'd look at me, it'd all hit her again, like some kind of nightmare. She'd never talk to anybody about it, not even Dad.."
​
I continue to listen.
​
"..One night, she didn't come home. The police found her, she fell.. w-we don't know if it was on purpose but.. she never woke up."
​
Olivia's words die down, and once again we're both left in silence. Olivia tightens her grip on my hand as I begin to emotionally process what she had told me, and the overwhelming feeling of empathy crashes into me at once as I find myself shivering. Olivia isn't so able, though; the admission and recollection of recent events leaves her vulnerable, and she begins to sob quietly as tears well in her eyes. The overwhelming desire to ease her pain causes me to tighten my grip on her shoulder, evoking a pained look toward me by Olivia. As we stare at each other, she begins to adjust her position, sliding closer to me. Almost instinctually, I understand; I adjust my own seating position and we pull each other closer, embracing in an affectionate hug to ease each other's pain. Our heads side by side, I slowly close my eyes, losing myself in the emotion of Olivia's embrace; any sense of nervousness or worry for the future is drained from my soul, and I'm left drifting in the sensation of our genuine connection.
​
For once, I feel right. I feel like I belong, that I'm finally where I want to be. Every second we spend together is worth more than any of the last four years I've spent lost in time-wasting hobbies, trying to pretend that I was okay with being alone, that I had accepted it. I barely register the tears that lightly dot my shoulder, I can only focus on her warmth.
​
​
I love you, Olivia.
​
​
Like all good things, our embrace comes to an end sooner than I'd like. We slowly pull away from the hug, and I find myself face to face with Olivia, our eyes meeting as we sit close to one another. Even with the dim light of the hospital room, I can see the glistening of her eyes, and the reflections of light that cover where her tears had fallen across her face. Where there was once pain now lies relief, where there was once fear now lies courage; A smile is painted across the baryonyx's face, and I offer her a reassuring nod. She turns her head away to look at the older woman once more, drying the tears that cover her face with the sleeve of her purple sweatshirt. I find myself staring at nothing in particular; my mind desperately tries to relive the moment I had just spent in Olivia's arms, and the veil of silence falls over both of us once again.
​
I'm not sure how much time passes, but we stay like this for awhile. My wandering mind begins to worry about Olivia's well-being, but this is put to rest as she suddenly grabs my forearm with her hand.
​
"H-Hey." She says, looking at me sheepishly. The surprise leaves me confused, but I turn my attention toward her fully after only a few moments.
​
"Wanna head up to the roof? Trust me."
​
The proposition causes my mind to immediately recall the events that happened yesterday. Choking down this anxiety, though, I shrug my shoulders and nod at Olivia's offer. A quick giggle follows my agreement, and before I know it Olivia has begun to roll out of the room, keeping a grasp on me as I lift myself from the wooden chair. As I reach my feet, she lets go; I'm not sure where the roof is, but I hope there's an elevator. As Olivia rolls toward the door, I take a few quick steps toward it and slide the door open myself, motioning Olivia through. She gives me the cutest wave of dismissal as a faint blush crosses her cheeks; she took the gesture as a joke, as I had intended. As she wheels out, I shut the door behind us, and we make our way through the lightly populated hallways of the hospital until we reach an elevator.
​
Olivia hits the call button, and we both wait for the doors to open. After they do, we both step inside the empty elevator, and I take a look at the several plastic buttons placed on a panel inside. It looks like there's seven options; one for each floor, a basement access, and a roof access. I hit the roof access button, but nothing seems to happen; I realize that next to these lies a keyhole, likely to prevent just anybody from reaching these places.
​
"Uhh.. Olivia, I don't think-"
​
My words are cut off as she practically rolls into me. "Nah, I got it."
​
As I step aside, she situates herself in front of the panel and digs through her pocket, eventually pulling out a small key. She places it inside of the hole, turning it and pressing the roof access button again. This time, the button glows brightly and the elevator doors come to a close.
​
For a few seconds, I'm left confused; "Why do you have a key to the hospital?
​
Olivia's expression slowly shifts into the biggest shit-eating grin I've ever seen as she states, "I stole it."
​
I can't help but scoff in surprise. It is a bit late to question the morality of the situation, though; the elevator has already started rising, and Olivia seems to be proud of herself. I laugh off any feelings of nervousness, and just wait for the elevator to reach its destination.
​
The elevator is by no means fast; it takes about a minute and a half for us to reach our destination, and not much fills the silence in the meantime. As the elevator comes to the stop and a dinging sound signals our arrival, Olivia looks noticeably more excited than she had prior. I'm not sure if she's realized, but her tail thumps up and down; quietly, but noticeable from where I'm standing. For a moment, I feel flustered, but as the doors pull open and Olivia eagerly wheels her way out onto the roof, I follow suit shortly after.
​
The roof of the hospital is about what I expected; A small helipad lies to our left, and a chain link fence protects air conditioning units to our right. A railing lines the edges of the rooftop, offering protection against anybody accidentally falling off. Olivia continues straight ahead, toward a bare section of the roof that overlooks the entrance to the hospital below. I worry for a moment about somebody catching us here, but I shake the feeling away and follow her to the edge.
​
We stand at the edge of the rooftop, and Olivia seems to be hypnotized by the view from up here. I look out over the edge as well, and I can see why she'd enjoy it; Volcadera Bluff is picturesque from so high up, and any sense of urban hell that you might get walking through the streets is completely void. The style of the surrounding buildings combined with the natural landscape mix together, offering a beautiful small-town look that almost makes me take pride in the fact that I live here. No words are said between us for the next several minutes as we simply admire the view together.
​
This is my home. It's a nice home, and I don't think I'd trade it for anything else. Especially not if it meant leaving her behind.
​
Speaking of Olivia, she suddenly prods at my arm a few times with the flat side of her claws. I turn my head, and she stares at me, sheepishly.
​
"H-Hey, do you think.. you can lift me up?"
​
The question comes as a surprise; I wouldn't consider myself a weakling, but.. I sort of doubt my ability to lift Olivia out of her chair myself.
​
"I.. well, I can try."
​
Olivia giggles briefly before offering me her hands. Clearing my throat, I mentally and physically prepare to try and meet her request. I take both of her hands, and try my best to lift her out of the wheelchair. The form is weird, though, and it ends up being too difficult for me like this. Olivia doesn't show any sense of disappointment as I lower her back down, though; in fact, she laughs. Inspired by this, I try to think of something else.
​
"Here, if you push yourself up, I can.. pull you forward, maybe."
​
She looks at me for a moment, confused, but she shrugs her shoulders and gives it a shot. As Olivia grips the armrests tight and pushes herself up, I squat down slightly and wrap my arms around her, evoking a gasp of surprise from the baryonyx. I begin to pull, hoping that the position will give me better control to carry her weight. The plan works; Olivia pushes off her wheelchair with her arms as I pull, and her legs remain straight as she practically falls into me like a pendulum. Holding her in this position practically requires us to be locked in an embrace; I adjust my hands, trying to hold her from a low point while trying to desperately avoid placing my hands on her.. yeah.
​
The initial worry of falling gradually subsides from both me and Olivia; she begins to laugh as I hold her in this awkward position. The familiar warmth of Olivia's embrace washes over my soul, comforting me as we stand together like this. Her head turns, looking out toward the landscape of the town as her hands cement their grasp on my shoulders, lessening the strain on my arms. I really can't do much but stand in this position; all my focus is kept on keeping her steady.
​
After a few moments, she says, "I like the view from up here."
​
"Y-You mean from the roof?" I utter, my voice somewhat strained.
​
Olivia giggles as she replies, "No, up here with you. So this is what it's like to stand, huh?"
​
Her laugh somewhat alleviates the pressure that builds inside of me; the physical strain of holding her is starting to become overbearing. I refuse to let go, though. Nodding my head, Olivia seems to relax in my embrace, as if it's less about standing and more about.. us. She rests her head on my shoulder, leaving me more flustered than I was before.
​
It's too much.
​
I gasp as my hold on Olivia falters, using what's left of my strength to send her forwards into me rather than backwards onto the concrete ground. Olivia is equally surprised; in a fit of panic, she grasps desperately at my arms, but the attempt is wasted; the strain in my arms becomes pain rather quickly as her hands slip and lose their grip on me, sending Olivia to the ground and me backwards a few steps. My efforts to help Olivia land softly seem to have worked; she managed to catch herself with her arms, preventing any sort of head injury. Worried for her, I kneel down.
​
"S-Sorry, I couldn't.. Are you okay?"
​
Olivia coughs, but otherwise doesn't look harmed at all; "Yeah, I'm fine. I'm.. kinda heavy, aren't I?"
​
I try to deny the accusation, but no words leave my mouth. Either way, despite the pain in my arms, I try to help her toward the wheelchair. Olivia accepts the offer, and with our combined effort, she manages to secure herself once again in the metal chair.
​
"S-Sorry for that." She mutters, clearly saddened.
​
"Awh, come on. It was fun." I state, encouragingly. Olivia lifts her head toward me, offering me a slight smile in return.
​
"Y-Yeah, it was. Thanks for.." She cuts herself off, gazing at me worryingly for several seconds.
​
"What's wrong?" I ask, but Olivia doesn't respond. She raises her hand toward her face, looking down at the claws on her hands. Even from this position, I notice what's caught her attention.
​
They're speckled with blood.
​
As her eyes turn toward me again, I follow them. Looking at my left upper arm, there lies three large gashes that extend down toward my elbow. The other arm is the same way, though less severe. I have no idea how I didn't notice the injury before, but before I can react much to it, Olivia lets out a sob.
​
"I.. I didn't mean to-"
​
I practically cut her off, the words tumbling from my mouth; "No, this isn't.. It's not your fault."
​
My attempt at reassurance does little to prevent Olivia's expression of guilt. In a desperate effort to stop her from blaming herself, I try to play off the injury, letting my arms fall to my side casually. The pain burns, but I ignore it.
​
"That was fun, right? It was worth it. And besides-" I force out a small laughter, "We're already at a hospital. Nothing to worry about."
​
This attempt is slightly more successful; the guilt in Olivia's eyes noticeably dies down, and I feel relieved.
​
In a nervous tone, she says, "W-We should go back down. So they can.. fix your arms."
​
I nod my head in agreement; A quick glance at the injury shows me that blood has begin to noticeably pool. If we don't hurry, I'll probably get it on everything. Olivia rolls her way toward the elevator, and I follow at a brisk pace. Hitting the call button, it doesn't take long for the elevator to arrive; I press the first floor button on the panel, and after the doors close, we begin to descend.
​
Despite my previous words being for Olivia, I start to realize that they were actually correct; I don't regret spending time with her on the roof, or trying to help her stand, even if it's left me cut up. I glance at Olivia, and although the guilt has mostly left her, there's still a hint of sadness that refuses to leave her eyes. I only hope she doesn't take it too hard; I'd get cut like this a million times if it meant having her by my side.
​
Even as my injuries burn, the feeling of belonging that has implanted itself in my heart overpowers the pain. There's not a shred of doubt in my heart; I'm glad I spent today with her.
​
~END~