# Bad Bitch Stella Remaster Chapter 2

Chapter 2: Mistakes Were Made
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*BEEP BEEP BEEP*
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My Monday morning alarm pierces the veil of my feverish Stella-based dreams. Meanwhile, my morbid imagination forms images of an angry shotgun wielding Fang chasing me through the streets of Volcaldera for ever daring to cheat on her.
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I flop to the side and put a hand over my face. I feel like shit, and I know that I deserve to feel like shit. Hell, I deserve to feel worse. As I look at my clock still blaring its 6 AM alarm, I can’t help but want to crawl back into bed and die.
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I've done something unforgivable. The worst part? It’s not even over. Oh no. Today my newest dark secret might come to light for all the world to know. The question is, who will spill the beans? Rosa? Stella? Hell, even me if I slip up. With the blessed curse that is post-nut clarity, I can't even begin to rationalize why I even did what I did besides getting a quick and dirty kick out of it. I love Fang. I would never do anything to hurt her, yet here I was, having done everything short of straight-up sex with someone else.
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I flip through my messages, hoping to Raptor Jesus or whatever other deities I haven't yet pissed off with my stupidity that it would all turn out to be a dream. ‘A pleasant, sexytime-filled dream,’ I begin imagining before shaking my head. ‘No. No horny,’ I scold myself as I scroll through my message history. Of course, as soon as I hit last night’s time, the entire conversation between Stella and me comes up. It’s all there, clear as day for anyone to see and judge.
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“This is a nightmare,” I mumble as I put my phone down and bury my face in my hands. I’ve gone and committed the biggest sin in any relationship. Worse is that I can't even ask anyone for advice. What would they tell me other than how big of a fuck-up it was?
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Just as I’m about to give in to despair, I remember that there was someone I could talk to. It was a long shot, but he’s been nothing short of a bro up to this point. “I mean, Reed probably doesn’t know much about relationships, and I’m 50% sure he’s pitching for the other team, but who else can I turn to?”
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It was a long shot, but there was at least the chance that Reed would keep the whole fiasco on the down-low. If nothing else, at least keep Fang from getting too emotionally hurt. Then again, he might also cut ties with me once I tell him. I'd totally deserve it. Still, it's the best plan I can come up with. That, and trying to find Stella alone somewhere and try to clear up this clusterfuck.
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With my plan now set in my mind, I get out of bed and start my morning routine. It takes me considerably longer to get ready that morning than any other morning in recent memory...
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* * *
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I move around the school, doing my best to avoid anyone that isn’t Reed. Fortunately, Trish is absent today, so I can talk with the pink raptor alone right before math class, our first class of the week. I also haven't yet run into Fang. Or Stella. Or Rosa. My luck can only hold on for so long, and Reed immediately gets suspicious of my fidgeting around. He at least waits until near the end of class when everyone else is too engrossed in their own conversations to confront me about it.
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“Something up, bro?” Reed asks me, curiosity burning in his eyes. “You haven’t really been yourself all class period.”
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I hesitate for a second before buckling down for what I’m about to say.
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“Reed, um... can you keep a secret?”
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“Hells yeah, man!” Reed answers in his usual optimistic tone. “What’s up?”
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“Even if it's something really fucked up?” I ask, all the while leaning closer to the raptor to avoid unwanted ears tuning in.
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The smile Reed was sporting seconds ago drops at my words. “Yeah. ‘Course,” he responds.
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I contemplate backing off or lying, but I know Reed enough that after that intro, he would see right through whatever deception I come up with. Besides, he’s my bro and probably the only other person right now that I can trust with what I've done.
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“Reed… I seriously fucked up, man. Like, really, REALLY seriously fucked up! And I don't know what to do!”
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Reed looks at me expectantly, his eyes wide and ready to absorb even my subtlest of movements.
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On my end, I don't even know where to begin. ‘I guess from the very start’s a good place as any,’ I think to myself as I queue up the memories in my brain.
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“So, you remember that bet I had going with Stella?”
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Reed chuckles. “Ah yeah, that bet. Let me guess, Stella won?”
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I nod in reply, which only causes Reed to snicker some more. “So what was the wager you two made?” he asks me with growing curiosity.
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“She got me to watch some shit with her. You know, anime."
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Reed crosses his arms and nods. So far, so good. But now came the part that I was most afraid of…
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“So she invited me to her house. Except she doesn’t have a house. She rents one of the dorm rooms I didn’t even know we had.”
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Reed again chortles. “Wait, you’re telling me you didn’t know that the school has dorm rooms available for rent?”
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Thinking about it, I have to ask myself why my father didn’t actually send me to one of the rooms here instead of a shitty apartment in Skin Row. My only answer is that it was probably cheaper. My transfer over to Volcano High had been an emergency, so money was probably super tight…
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I shake my head. Now’s not the time to think of the reasons why I was living in squalor. “That’s beside the point,” I tell Reed and move on from any lingering thoughts on the matter. “The point is, Stella invited me to her room. I get there, and she’s all alone. Next thing I know, she’s convinced me to get on her bed and—”
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“You did not!” Reed suddenly snaps, all the while moving forward and grabbing me by the arms, surprising me enough that I swore he was about to bite me.
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“No. NO!” I retort before the situation can get any uglier. “It uh… went well, actually. The watching anime part.” I rub the back of my neck, but my words barely do anything to stop Reed from looking at me with an intense glower. “After the episode ended, though… Stella like… kissed me out of fucking nowhere!”
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Reed’s already wide eyes open even wider—if that was possible. “Stella... kissed you?”
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“Yes!” I snap at the velociraptor with some annoyance. “It was so sudden and unexpected that I just bolted the fuck out! But…”
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Reed again leaned in closer to my face. “...But…?” He demands, his expression a mixture of worry and expectation.
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I groan. ‘Can't do it. Jesus Reed, you would never talk to me if you knew,’ I think as I struggle to form words on my tongue. I take a look around the room. Thankfully, nobody is paying us any attention despite our intense conversation. Thank god for small miracles, at least.
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Realizing that I’m way too far into this to leave it as is, I open my mouth to plan my next set of words. Instead of coming out smoothly, they get stuck in my throat as I struggle to have them come out and not sound like I’m making the wrong impression of a Mongolian throat singer. “I—then—night—jacked—"
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To my surprise, Reed's troubled face lightens as a gentle grin forms on his lips. “Dude, you did the jenkem to the kiss?” he asks me matter-of-factly.
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I shut my mouth and nod in response.
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Reed lets out a sigh of his own and fixes me with a stern yet compassionate stare. “Yeah, that's kinda fucked up, but like… you just gotta let Stella down, you know like—”
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“It was pictures. She sent pictures. I asked, and she sent me pictures,” I snapped. My statement shuts Reed right the fuck up as he freezes in an attempt to process the literal nuke I had dropped on him.
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“Dude… are you… serious?” Reed asks in a soft, almost shell-shocked tone.
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I say nothing. What the fuck could I say?
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My silence is answer enough for Reed. He slumps back into his chair and puts both hands over his face. From what little of his visage I can see through his hands, he looks like someone who refuses to believe what he just heard.
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“Man… this is absolutely fucked up...” He whispers before sitting up straight and letting out a weary exhale. He rubs the back of his neck and then fixes me with a glance equal parts angry and disappointed. “Fang doesn't know jack, right?”
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“She doesn't. Not yet,” I answer, unable to keep my voice from trembling in terror.
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Reed looks down at the floor, almost as if he can’t bear to look me in the eyes anymore.
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“I don't know what to do, man. I figured that I'll talk to Stella today and get her to back off. Still, I don't know how to handle the Fang situation," I say before reaching out to grab Reed by the arms, much in the same way he did to me earlier in our conversation. “Help me out here, man, please!”
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Before Reed can speak whatever words he formed in his mouth, my phone buzzes. I reach for my device and bring up the home screen, showing the message notification is from none other than Stella. I flip the phone over to Reed and show him the screen for dramatic effect, and he looks back at me with maybe the most intense stare I had ever seen from him since first arriving in Volcano High.
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“I can't… can’t help you, bro. I'll keep this a secret, but Fang’s my friend, and I won't lie to her, even if it's to help out another friend.”
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My heart starts racing. Despite a part of me knowing that it was for the best, Reed’s words make me feel as if my ass is about to prolapse at any second...
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Reed closes his eyes and scowls, all the while scratching his head furiously. “Look, bro… I'll hold Fang off for today so you can handle Stella. But you better fucking explain it to her after!” Reed sighs and continues in a mellow tone. “You fucked up. Fang might be willing to look the other way 'cause you seriously seem like you know that it's fucked. And that you were the one to fuck it into the ground in the first place...”
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At Reed’s words, I feel a wave of relief wash over me. It wasn’t over yet, but this was more than I could have hoped for. Thank you, based god Reedman. “Thanks, dude! I… I owe you a big one!”
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Reed holds a hand up at my words. “Don’t thank me yet,” he says ominously. “You make it up to Fang, and we're square. This is a one-time thing; you better believe it.”
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I'm about to respond when the bell goes off. Reed immediately gets up from his chair and leaves, but not before fixing me with a ‘you-so-do-not-want-to-fuck-this-up’ glare that sends chills down my spine and turns my blood cold.
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When the shock of seeing a pissed-off Reed finally wears off, I instinctually make my way to my next class. The walk helps clear my head a bit and lets me think about my next move.
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With Reed running interference for me today, that gave me precious time to try and get my trainwreck of a life back into some semblance of order before it was too late.
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With that, I remember Stella’s message from a few minutes ago. Dreading what I would see, I have to mentally prepare myself before opening up my messaging app. A part of me is hopeful that she’s come to her senses and feels guilty over what we did last night. Or, at the very least, she’s ready to listen to reason over horniness.
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I scroll up to see Stella’s latest messages.
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[Stella]
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*i got called a bad girl Anon*
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[Stella]
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*am I a bad girl? <3 <3*
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My mind goes blank, and essentially I do the blinkingguy.gif motion. Though I want to ignore the message and pretend I never saw it, my mind reminds me of what I need to do. This is my chance.
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[Anon]
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"lunch. roof."
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The bell rings again as I finish typing. I shut my phone off and make a mad sprint to my next class. Only when I turn the corner and see the room do I remember that my next class was music…
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‘Oh fuck no…’ I think as the feeling of my ass prolapsing returns to me a second time. One more, and it will officially beat my current record…
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Before I can panic any more, I feel my phone buzz again. I don’t even need to think about who sent the message. I only pick up my pace and reach the class before my absence is noted down by Mr. Jingo. Thankfully, I’m able to slip in undetected.
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The first thing I do is scan the room for signs of Fang. To my surprise, my goth ptero girlfriend seems to be missing. Before I can fully register the implications of Fang’s absence, Mr. Jingo walks up to me. “I'm afraid your partner won't be back for a while,” he tells me matter-of-factly. “They're helping Reed with something school-mascot-related. Don’t quite know what it was, but it sure sounded dire for Reed to barge in here and snatch Fang away from us.”
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I take a huge sigh and almost collapse from the relief. ‘THANK FUCK!’ I think as I give Mr. Jingo my best feigned disappointed look. “O-okay,” I reply to my teacher, who hands me my day’s assignment sheet and leaves me to my own devices.
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As soon as Mr. Jingo walks back to his desk to do whatever the fuck it was that he usually did when not teaching, I rush to the furthest spot in the back of the room and take out my phone to check the new message from Stella. To my surprise, there was a couple from Fang too. I tap on my girlfriend’s profile and bring up her messages first.
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[Fang]
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*soz ditching w/ Reed*
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[Fang]
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*ill help u after school :V*
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Wow. If I wasn't yet feeling shitty, that sure did it. Still, with Fang gone from music class, that meant I didn’t have to worry about her until after school. Hell, probably even tomorrow if I really wanted to be extra careful. It sucked having to play a game of hide and seek with her, though. I’d typically be doing everything in my power to actively hang out with her more.
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With Fang’s messages checked, I turn my attention to Stella’s.
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[Stella]
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*okie <3*
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After the text, there was a picture attached. A closeup of Stella’s mouth making a blowjob gesture with her hand.
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I almost drop the phone. “This fucking bitch,” I whisper to myself as I stuff my phone in my pocket and try to focus on schoolwork for once.
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Of course, the more I try to focus on my music assignment, the more I remember the picture Stella sent me. Much as I hated to admit it, her blowjob gesture was getting a nice rise out of me. Had it not been for my conflicting emotions over the morality of what I was mixed up in, I would have asked Mr. Jingo for permission to use the bathroom...
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* * *
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A few hours and many, many rejected instances of self indulge later, lunchtime arrives. Rather than making my way to the lunchline as I usually would, I power walk towards the roof, all the while trying to work through my conflicted feelings.
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Would it be that bad to keep Stella around? That is if we can keep it a secret? Looks like that's her agenda in the first place. If she wanted me and Fang to break up, she's got more than enough leverage on me. This was all still a major fucking red flag, but it's not like I'm deliberately setting out to hurt Fang.
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On the other hand, I'm not sure that I'd ever be able to look at myself in the mirror again. Fang will surely know that something's up, and then it will be only a matter of time until she figures it out. Plus, there's Reed. Judging by the glare he gave me, he will never let me get away with it.
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No. The only way out of this was for me to set this mess straight and set down some real boundaries.
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Scanning the surroundings, I conclude that I'm alone on the roof. No messages from Stella, so I'm assuming she's on her way. I guess correctly, as only a minute or two after the thoughts cross my mind, she makes her appearance. She's wearing her usual shirt and shorts combo. Part of me is thankful for that. Makes this all the more normal. Or at least as normal as this situation’s become.
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“Hey, Anon!” Stella waves to me in her usual bubbly tone.
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I don't respond. Instead, I walk up to Stella and grab her by the forearm before forcefully dragging her behind the little shed Fang preened on top of that one time.
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“Geez! Okay!” Stella calls out as she pulls her arm back. Seems like she's not really sure what to expect.
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I take a deep sigh and steel my resolve for what I need to do next.
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“Stella, this can't continue,” I start in as dead-serious a tone as I can possibly muster. “I have a girlfriend, who you know, by the way. I shouldn't have led you on last night either, so I am sorry. But please, let's not go any further than this.” After I finish my announcement, I cross my arms and look away from the lime-yellow stego, no longer able to bring myself to keep eye contact.
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There's total silence for a while. To my surprise, Stella steps closer, causing me to back into the wall.
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“No further, so… We should keep things as they are?” Stella asks in a sultry tone as she grabs my belt with both hands, pulling her body closer to mine. “Cause I really am your Bad Bitch now, Anon!”
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I’m fucking speechless. I want to push Stella away, yet I can't find the strength to lift a single finger. I don’t know if it's because my brain still recognizes her as one of the only friends I have or if it's because that damn inner caveman is bouncing off the walls with excitement over our forbidden romance. Whatever the case, a part of me can’t help but be absolutely enraptured by Stella’s forwardness and boldness in the face of disaster.
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It’s almost admirable.
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I quickly shake off what other thoughts I have in my mind and focus on the here and now. “That's not what—” I start, but I’m cut off by the creaking of the roof access door.
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“Are you sure this is okay? Isn't the roof like, off-limits?” the all-too-familiar voice of Fang’s brother echoes feet away from where Stella and I were hiding.
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“Precisely,” the voice of Volcano High’s outrageously dawn-tinted class president, and general pain in my ass, answers.
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My eyes widen in absolute horror. What the fuck are Naser and Naomi doing up here during their lunchtime?
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I hear the door shut behind the two. “Shit, fine. Let’s do this..."
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I’m absolutely frozen in place by fear of discovery. A quick check at Stella tells me that she's as frozen as I am. The thing is, I don’t know if it's because of fear or because she’s thinking of somehow turning this to her advantage...
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I can hear clothes shuffling and a belt getting undone.
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My eyes widen in horror.
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No.
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Oh god, please, please no. No.
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Nooooooooooooooooo!
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Not one second after my brain nearly shuts down, the unmistakable sounds of slurping, gagging, and moaning hit my ears. With each passing second, I can hear the wet slapping of a cock being taken into a mouth with increasing speed. The drip of what can't be anything other than spit and cum hit the ground as the moans of pleasure grow louder and louder.
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This can't be real. I've fainted, and this is a dream, right?
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Right!?
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Before I can even register it, a full minute’s passed by as Naser hisses and moans, and Naomi grunts pleasurably as she very obviously works her tongue over Naser’s pleased soldier. From the lewd sounds hitting my ears, It doesn't sound like they'll be done anytime soon…
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Where the fuck was Spear kicking down the door to the roof when you needed him most?
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Much to my dismay, Stella shifts closer to me, all the while looking into my eyes me with a sultry, aroused expression. I can’t stop her as she presses her breast against my chest, nor can I even think of shoving her away as she wraps her tail around my leg and presses her face against mine. “Aww, Anon, maybe we should do something too?” she whispers seductively into my ear.
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“S-shut the fuck up,” I whisper to Stella in a stuttery voice. Not one second after I whisper those words, the disturbing sound of throat fucking echo in the air, Naomi being perhaps a little too eager to please Naser.
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Stella can't help but giggle, all the while gently caressing my face with her hand. "Mmmm, can you hear how hard Naser is giving it to Naomi? So hot, right?" As she again whispers that into my ear, she moves her other hand towards my crotch. Without wasting a single beat, she begins unzipping my pants, her hand effortlessly reaching through my underwear and right for my already rock-hard dick.
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As much as I fucking hated it, I couldn’t deny what my body was telling me. Yes, it was the hottest single thing I had ever heard in my life. It was making me so horny that the only thing stopping me from fucking Stella then and there was my loyalty towards Fang.
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“Shut up! Shut up! Shut up!” I hiss through clenched teeth as I try to keep Naser and Naomi from finding us.
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Before I can stop her, Stella gets on her knees releases my dick from its boxy prison. She pauses for a second to marvel at its size before opening her mouth in eager anticipation for me to take the initiative.
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"Stop it!" I hiss through clenched teeth.
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“Make me!” Stella snaps with a smirk on her face.
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“Fuck, did you hear that?” Naomi suddenly asks, stopping her fellatio play as she no doubt looks around for any possible witnesses.
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“NahIdidn'thearanything,” Naser says in a stupefied tone, almost as if he’s struggling to maintain his faculties in his bliss-addled state.
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I glance to the side in fear and then glance back down towards Stella, who, with my dick still in her hand, fixes me with an impatient look. When she takes a breath in preparation for saying something else that will no doubt cause us to get caught, I grab the back of her head and force her to take my dick all the way in.
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Bitch wants to get shut the fuck up, then I’ll shut her the fuck up. ‘Yeah, try talking with a throat full of cock,’ I think to myself as I push my dick as far into Stella’s throat as I can make it go. The suddenness of my entry surprises her, but to the stego’s credit, she doesn't gag one bit. It honestly impresses me.
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I keep Stella’s mouth plugged with my dick, her short snoot pressed up against my stomach, until Naomi once again starts throat fucking Naser. Even with the two turning their attention back to themselves, I can’t help but feel my whole body shaking in panic. At the same time, I'd be a dirty liar if I said it didn't feel great having my dick rammed up Stella’s throat. With her unable to move her head, I can feel her tongue exploring my length. From the other side of the shed, the noises intensify. Naser’s really giving it to Naomi now. By the sounds of it, Naomi’s taking it like a champ too.
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“Ffffuucckkk!” Naser shouts orgasmically. I guess that's him finishing. Truth is, I'm not that far behind. Even in her current circumstance, Stella is doing all she can to tip me over. Silently too, thank fuck.
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Somewhere inside the building, a bell rings. The sound of shifting clothing and a zipper getting pulled fills the air before the sound of shuffling footsteps follows. I hear the door open as Naser and Naomi leave the roof, all the while flirting with one another, no doubt riding the high of having had sex on school grounds.
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When the door at last slams shut, I let out the breath of air I’d been holding since before the bell rang. I'm so relieved that I immediately let go of Stella's hair and prepare to remove my dick from her mouth. But she doesn't budge one bit. If anything, she fixes me with a lust-filled stare as she doubles down and starts to suck me dry.
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I peer down at Stella with a combination of horror and bliss. ‘Am I going to...? Will she seriously make me...?’ I think, not quite sure what to make of the situation I practically walked into. There’s nowhere to run with a wall behind me.
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Do I even want to run?
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I swallow hard and again gaze down at Stella. She’s still looking right back up at me with those soft light blue eyes of hers, eyes that were now streaking tears, which ran down her blushed cheeks, all the while my dick remained embedded deep in her throat. Nothing but the bulge on the outside is visible mids the strands of saliva almost reaching down to the floor.
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As the pleasure increases tenfold, I grab on to her hair buns with both of my hands and start to awkwardly move my hips back and forth. Once again, she takes the impromptu facefuck like a total pro.
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Soon, I reach the point of no return. With one last shove, I force my entire dick down into her throat again. Seconds later, I cum with a force that I had never experienced before in my life.
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Stella closes her eyes and takes my load with loud gulping sounds. She swallows a total of five times, quite literally milking me dry of every last drop of baby batter before slowly backing off and letting my dick pop from her mouth with a lewd slurping sound.
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Using her shirt, she cleans up the drool the best she can, humming to herself contently. Meanwhile, my heart has practically stopped beating. With the climax over and the post-nut clarity mercilessly washing over me, shame and helplessness hit me double-fold. My legs give away, and I slide down beside the wall. Thankfully Stella doesn't cuddle up to me. She keeps her distance and only kneels next to me. Maybe she finally realizes how far she's gone, or perhaps seeing me so miserable struck a chord with her. Whatever the case, at this point, it doesn't even fucking matter anymore. I almost choke up on the spot. ‘That's it, my life is fucking over,’ I lament as a hollowness taker over my chest. I stay there, legs splayed and softening dick still out, not really caring who sees me anymore...
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“A-are you alright, Anon?” Stella asks me.
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I look at the yellow-lime-toned stego next to me, my brow furrowing and the flames of anger I had previously snuffed once more igniting. ‘Bitch, what do you think?’ I think, so very tempted to scream it. Instead, I clutch my hands tight and frown. “Yes, Stella, how could you tell? This is me being alright!”
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Stella doesn’t answer, but I can tell that she’s also noticed the change in mood. After about a minute of silent suffering, my now non-existent dignity compels me to at least put my dick away. And so, I very slowly stand up and stuff my now flaccid and shrunken soldier back into his barracks.
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As I finish zipping up my pants, Stella also stands up and puts a hand on my left hand, all the while smiling softly. “It's okay,” she coos soothingly, almost as if that’s somehow supposed to make me feel any better about myself.
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As Stella flutters her eyelids and grins like she is head-over-heels in love with me, something within me snaps. “OH!? It's OKAY?!” I shout so loud that I'm sure the entire school hard it. Frankly, I don’t give a damn at this point. “Wow, Stella! Did you read that from the stars? Or a deck of cards? Are you such an expert in bitching yourself out from all the hentai doujin that you've read? Or maybe it's because you routinely ruin others' lives? Maybe that's got something to do with you having SOOOO many friends, right?!" I glare deep into the stego’s eyes with such fury that I’m surprised she hasn’t yet burst into flames. “Maybe you should just fucking neck yourself, you retard!” I say, leaving nothing to interpretation as I make a hanging motion with my hand.
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God, it feels good to get that anger off my chest. At the same time, I know deep down that I'm looking for an outlet to vent my pent-up feelings. That I've gone way, way too far with my words. Yes, this whole mess started because Stella wanted to have a little fling on the side, but I played along as willingly. I can think of several dozen ways to avoid this whole situation, all involving talking to my girlfriend and working through this problem as a couple should. Instead, I let my fucking caveman instincts decide for me…
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I want to keep shouting, but I don't even have the strength for that anymore. My shoulders drop, and I fall back down again, curling in a fetal position in the process. I just now notice the hot tears rolling down my face. What a pathetic excuse for a man I must look like. Thank Raptor Jesus, there aren’t any mirrors up here...
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By some miracle—or would it be a curse in this case?—Stella hasn't stormed off yet. From the corner of my eye, I can see her fists shaking as she grasps the end of her jeans so hard that her knuckles have turned white. As I pay closer attention, I can see that her cheeks have once again turned a shade of red, and her eyes shimmer in the sunlight.
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“T-take that back!” Stella shouts at me almost as loud as I had been yelling at her. “Anon, take it back!” She takes a step forward and looks me deep in the eyes. “Please…” Her voice is soft yet strained, almost as if she's doing everything in her power to hold back tears. Judging by how damp her eyes look, she won't be able to for long.
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Despite all my rage, seeing Stella in such a downed state gives me no pleasure. If anything, it only further helps in making me feel utterly and downright miserable. At once, I realize that somehow, I've managed to piss off or alienate almost everyone that I know and hold dear in just a few hours. If I don't do something, I'll end up alone again. Fang and Reed can be mad at me for a good reason. Hell, I won't even have anything to say if Naser breaks my arms. Or neck.
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But Stella...
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No, I really did say some fucked up stuff. Can’t bullshit my way around that. She might be a huge bitch for getting me in this position, but she doesn't deserve this. I remember her giddy, pure, and genuine excitement for SAO’s new season last night. I find it almost hard to believe that the girl I throat fucked a few minutes ago is the same girl. Still, that bundle of anime-loving joy was still somewhere in there, and I can't turn someone like that into a broken, cynical dipshit like me.
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Unlike everything else, I still have a chance to make this right, at least.
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“...I'm sorry…” I whisper out my apology initially. 'Common man. You can do better,’ I tell myself as I take a deep breath and sit up from my fetal position. “I’m sorry,” I say with more self-assurance. “I take it all back. You're not so bad, Stella.” I wipe some of my tears off, not that it really accomplishes anything, but it at least helps me maintain some small amount of pride.
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Stella seems reluctant to absorb my words at first. After a few seconds, though, she sits next to me and places a hand on my shoulder. As she does, she wipes some of the tears off her own face and once more looks deep into my eyes with those light-blue pools of radiance of hers.
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We stay like that for a good while. Or at least until our tears dry.
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“So... are you okay now?” Stella asks, her voice the first sound to break the silence that had fallen between us.
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“...I guess,” I answer, not quite sure if my words are even applicable considering the current situation.
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Stella removes her hand from my shoulder and coughs softly. “So um... I'm not stupid. I know why you called me here.”
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Stella’s words stun me. Where's this coming from all of a sudden?
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“And… and I know you’re soooo crazy about Fang...” She scoots closer to me and fixes me with what almost looks like a desirous expression. “But geez! Take a reality check!”
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I...
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What?
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“You've known Fang for what? A month?” Stella questions, all the while keeping her eyes locked straight on mine. “You've been dating for half of that tops! It's not like… you're engaged or whatever...” At those words, Stella stands up and walks to the side, hands behind her back and tail swinging back and forth. “So what if you fool around with another girl? That’s the nature of love!”
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I’m honestly at a loss for words. What Stella says sort of makes sense, but... fool around? I'm in a relationship, for fucks sake! She’s also right that it hasn't been going on for long, but that doesn't give me the right to cheat on my partner. And if she's right, then what's the deal with Reed? He KNEW that this shit's fucked. And so did I.
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Well, I mean…
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I stand up and put a hand on my right temple, massaging the spot to keep a growing headache from intensifying. Not counting my socially inept ass, now I have two opposing extremes that both make sense in their own way. The question was, which one would Fang agree with? ‘Let's assume that—’
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“Umm, Anon?” Stella suddenly spoke up, breaking me out of whatever train of thought I was about to board.
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“Huh?” I say, turning to face Stella with a puzzled look.
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“You've been like, mumbling for two minutes straight, is everything alright?” Stella asks. Her face is a mixture of genuine concern and slight amusement.
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Fucking mumbling. I swear it’s going to get me killed one of these days…
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“Uh, yeah…” I answer as I stop any and all loud thoughts.
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For her part, Stella fidgets around a bit, apparently unsure what to do with the still-unfolding situation. Traces of her tears are still visible on her face, though I'm not sure if they’re from me being a dick or my literal dick acting like an improvised gag. I don't even know which of the two would make me feel worse, in all honesty.
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I decide that changing the subject is the best course of action. “So uhh… you like... cards?”
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At first, Stella doesn't get what I mean by how vague the question is. It takes her an entire half a minute to realize what I’m asking.
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“Oh! You mean tarot cards!” Stella responds in the same peppy and bubbly way that I recall before the whole 'Bad Bitch Stella' persona came to light.
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I nod, bracing myself for what was no doubt about to be a very long lecture on a subject matter I couldn’t possibly give less of a fuck about. But the goal right now was to have some levity after all the crap that had happened minutes earlier.
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Over the next half hour, Stella explains to me all the nuances of tarot cards. What each card’s named, and how readings work. She explains the two aspects of tarot, those being the Major Arcana and the Minor Arcana. She carefully and expertly describes what each suit of the Major Arcana is named and what they represent, as well as what they can be interpreted as depending on their orientation upon a draw. She then tells me about the Fool’s journey, which is the most prominent lesson that one can take away from the tarot. Finally, she explains the Minor Arcana and how it's often neglected because it tends to be more complicated and numerous. Still, it is just as crucial as the Major Arcana.
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As I listen to Stella explain a subject that she loves so dearly, something funny happens. I start to pay attention. With each of her words, the information sinks in. Her genuine enthusiasm for what should be a silly fortune-telling method slowly wins me over. Truth was, if I don't focus on her weirdness too much, she's not bad at teaching. Apparently, she puts the same amount of care and innocent ambition into anything she likes.
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That makes me wonder if that includes her friendship towards me…
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We end up ditching the rest of the class. During that hour, I learned far more about tarot than I would have ever actively tried to comprehend. With Stella’s tutelage, I almost felt like I could start giving out amateurish readings of my own. Not that I ever would since I still thought the whole thing was silly mysticism. Still, it was something new that I would have otherwise never bothered with, and learning it felt… kinda nice…
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We're snapped out of our tarot discussion when the bell rings. I consider for a second ditching the rest of my classes to stay on the roof, but I ultimately decide against it. I bid Stella an awkward goodbye, one she replies to hesitantly, almost as if she wanted to say something else before deciding against it.
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Stella is the last to leave the rooftop...
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The rest of my classes go without further incident, leaving me to contemplate all my life decisions up to that point. Fang messages me a few times, short status reports on what they're doing with Reed. Sounds like Reed’s keeping good on his promise and managed to trap Fang for the entire day.
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In a twisted way, it makes me want to laugh. My original plan is all but ruins now, and I haven't gotten a single step closer to solving the issue with Stella. Quite the opposite, actually. But after listening to Stella and spending time with her…
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A growing part of me doesn't even want to explain anything to Fang anymore…
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My brain comes to a halt at those thoughts as I try and process what my neurons are trying to tell me. Who even says that I’m in a serious relationship with Fang? We've never announced it as such and only gone on, like, two dates. That's not a relationship; that's literally dating, and barely at that. Closer to feeling the waters, actually. So what if I'm seeing another girl? I Gotta keep my options open, no?
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I lean back on my chair and bury my hands in my face for what feels like the millionth time that day. ‘Who am I trying to convince here?’ I ask myself. It sounded more like I was trying to make up bullshit excuses to myself.
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These two contradicting flows of thought keep me in an endless loop throughout the rest of the classes.
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I've had sex with a girl while in a relationship.
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HOWEVER
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It's at best a two-week relationship that I'm obsessing over, and therefore I'm overreacting.
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HOWEVER
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If that was the case, why did it upset Reed so much? He's acting like I've committed adultery, so it has to be a serious relationship.
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HOWEVER
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Not once was it stated that this is a SERIOUS relationship, and therefore I'm overreacting.
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HOWEVER
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My initial reaction has to be the correct one. After all, I'm literally half of the relationship at hand and should know my feelings best.
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HOWEVER
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My feelings can be my turbo autism acting up after years of not having a girlfriend, and if I was normal, I wouldn't take it this hard. Therefore I'm overreacting.
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HOWEVER
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That doesn't change the fact that I've had sex with a girl while in a relationship...
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On and on it goes. My head feels like an infinity symbol. After an eternity of suffering, the final bell rings, symbolizing my freedom to go ahead and fuck my life up even more.
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Fang said she'd come over to help with my music assignment, but I don't feel like talking to anyone. If it angers Reed, then so be it. I shoot her a quick message, excusing myself. She replies something, but I can't bother to read it.
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I just wanna go home, plop onto my bed, and die…