Khiray of the River 
An Afterword by the Author

(If you did not yet read the story, do it now. Leave this text.
I am talking a lot about things that you don't want to know
right now. This is an AFTERword, so you should read it AFTER
the novel. Hush, go away!)


Do you remember...?

"Adventures tend to change their protagonists. During an adventure
we have to show what stuff we are made of, we have to fight
adversities, take a lot of punishment, accept fate, choose a goal
and search a way to reach it. Sometimes the adventure leaves us
broken and embittered, the kind of beggars and bums who
appreciate a bottle of rum more than a flea-free bed. Sometimes
it changes us into villains who have learned to love power for
power's sake, exploiting and crushing the weak to multiply our
wealth and influence. And sometimes we have to grow beyond our limits
to stand up for our beliefs, to protect those we love, or to face
the evil among us - and in us.

Sometimes we become heroes."

That were the words at the end of the preface, chapter zero. That
was at the beginning. Quite a time back - more than one and a half
years, with a half-year hiatus that almost killed the story due to
missing net access. I'm still amazed that I managed to continue
the story smoothly - in other cases, when I abandoned a storyline
for so long a time, I lost interest in the characters and the story,
and it became shelved (I still have four or five projects that got
never finished; one of those days I might use the ideas again).
The fact that "Khiray of the River" actually has been finished
may show you how much I cared about unfortunate Khiray and
sweet Saljin. It may not be the best of stories, as novels go -
I'm not John Steinbeck or Jack Vance or Harlan Ellison or
Stephen Donaldson. And my hapless attempts at translation provided
an additional difficulty. Hey, I'm German - the story reads much
better in my mother language! So go learn German. (Actually,
even some German furry fans told me that they rather read the
English version because that language is somehow connected to
the fandom; and indeed, words like "Furry" or fun-creations like
"anyfurry", "nofurry", "furryfolk", "fisherfurry" and so on that
I used throughout the novel, do not sound quite right when translated
to German.) But despite all problems, there is a lot of my heart's
blood in the story. So I hope you enjoyed it. Or will enjoy, if
you are one of those people who only read a story when completed.
(I said you should read this AFTER the story! Last warning!)

Actually, I wouldn't call "Khiray" a completed novel. If this was
a project for a pocket book, it would be just the first draft. There
are things I would change, parts that I would tone down or emphasize,
characters that I would give more room, dialogues that could be
improved, and events that should be clarified. I even botched up
a few times - big scale! For example, the question why Khiray sails
the Otterpath: two rivers of approximately the same length, covering
the same height difference, would flow with the same speed, no
matter where they flow. Period. I claimed the exact opposite, but
I have to take that statement back. Sorry. To clarify here, I would
change the map and make the Otterpath shorter and the Long Run
longer.

And then there's Pallys' description which spoke of scars - although
I later stated that all scars on his body disappeared over time,
and with the character's history, he had no major fight in the
last 400 years. I didn't make use of the description, anyway;
so it would probably be modified.

And, of course, the fact that the Foxtaur society consisted of "tribes"
earlier and later of "clans"; the idea was that the tribes are the
larger units, but this got never explained, and I may have messed
up here and there. Same with the expression "truthfinder" that I
developed after that kind of magicians was mentioned already.

Moreover, I would draw some sketches of the 'Silver Ansicc'. I
described the ship in a rather sketchy way. I claimed that it
does not look like a Mississippi steamer, but in my mind, that's
_exactly_ the way it looks, except the parts I really described in
detail. I use more descriptions than other authors, but still I could
improve, getting more precise, using nifty comparisons, and
quitting with the babble where it is not necessary.

Some story parts need clarification. Galbren wasn't present when
Alvanere was destroyed, so why did he know so much? - He
was connected to Beladanar all the time via a magical device.
How could Galbren know about the Archangel's Dekka'shin when
Khezzarrik himself wasn't able to see it, and the Dekka'shin was
transformed only after Beladanar's demise? - He didn't; when he
saw the weapon in the Drunlord's palace, he took a blind shot. 
Galbren's story had a lot of holes (for example, he claims to have
been present at Alvanere, but his ship has been in Drun'kaal for
days; he claims that Khiray wanted to kill the Drunlord with the
Dekka'shin, and later states that he didn't use it because he didn't
want to draw attention; he never explains how the Dekka'shin
was stolen; and so on), why does the Drunlord believe him and not
Khiray? - Because the truthfinders confirm Galbren's version; the
Armygan society around the coast has become very dependant of the
truthfinders; while the Drunlord recognizes the holes in Galbren's
tale, he decided to wait with his objections until he knew more.
And Galbren himself, although he does not realize it, was under
Khezzarrik's spell when he entered the palace - to play the Demon's
game.

There is the question about the Demons' power. What can they do,
what can't they? Exactly how many magicians are necessary to kill
a Demon, and is that possible at all? How does the magic work?
All these are valid questions, but I decided not to answer them.
Khiray is not experienced in magic matters; he uses it in a way we
use a car, but he does not know how it works, except in short moments
of enlightenment. (Remember that Pallys wanted Khiray to attend a
magic university? Maybe Khiray has the talent after all - but not the
education.) Since the reader looks through Khiray's eyes almost
constantly, I didn't want to convey details about how magic works.
Same goes for the levels and spheres. There are stories galore
behind it - and lots of pages written with notes about the ages before
Khiray's time -, but they are not part of this novel and provide only
background for me. Khiray is overwhelmed by the actual power he
faces, and that's the feeling the reader should get too. 

Dealing with that much power has some dangers. It strains the
suspension of disbelief. I put in a lot of mundane details and stuff
to keep the reader involved despite the esoteric enemy. And it
cries out for a deus ex machina - since the heroes themselves are
unable to defeat the Demons, I needed the Archangel as ultimate
saviour. I introduced the concept of Archangels relatively early and
stated repeatedly that only Archangels can beat Demons (not
entirely true, but sufficient for this novel). But I bet that some
readers were disappointed that it was not Khiray himself who killed
Beladanar. Too much power makes everything possible - including
the sudden death of the heroes. I had to deal with that issue: why
didn't the Demons dispose of Khiray very soon, if they are really
that powerful? In most novels that deal with overwhelming odds,
incredibly strange luck is responsible for narrow escapes, or the
enemy - invincible in the beginning and smart like Einstein - gets
dumb and dumber during the book and loses his powers gradually,
until the reader faces the question why the whole ruckus was
necessary - the hero could have punched out the evil guy any time
with his left fist. "Khiray" has a lot of narrow escapes... but none
were accidental. The insidious plan of Khezzarrik khi Valangassis
was all the time behind it. In a final draft, I would probably describe
the pact and the Demon oath in more detail, daring the reader to
actually guess Khezzarrik's plan before he explains it by himself...
Fact is: Almost all the time, the Demons would be able to kill the heroes
if they just cooperated. It's Khezzarrik's game that keeps Khiray
alive. Even when the Demons attack at Alvanere, they are still
fooling around. Demon mentality is very different from Furry or
Oo'men. The one second when Khezzarrik really wants Khiray dead
- is the very second when Khiray can't be killed anymore. Khiray/
Taphaliel kills Khezzarrik. In the end, the Demon's game had turned
against him.

And finally, I may change some of the character interaction. The
idea to cut out Sarmeen's tongue was damn dumb... without the
possibility of giving him dialogue, he remains a character even
more on the side than unfortunate Kaslin-Ray. Fryyk, too, should
have more depth. Kinnih and Pakkaht/Perlish have their moments,
and the central cast - Khiray, Saljin, Delley, Pallys - all satisfy me.
But Kaslin-Ray got thrown out of the game because he didn't
contribute anything, Shooshun was left back because of the same,
and Sarmeen and Fryyk didn't have enough lines.

The book is too long, anyway. It's relatively straightforward and
doesn't justify the length. There are some repetitions for the sake of
the format which would be thrown out, but it's still far more than
500 pages (depending on the character-per-page rate). But I have
to admit that I don't know where to cut - surely not at the cultural
details, the dialogue, or the action parts...

On the other hand, I am really pleased with the way the story parts
connect. I managed to uphold the internal logic, I did not blunder
on the character history, and the final version kept to the red line
I had laid out at the beginning. The mysterious hints and omens,
the bit and pieces end all up in the revelations I had set them up
for. This is not really a "quest" story with surprises waiting around
every corner - Khiray did sail the Drun'kaal route before, after all
- but I flatter myself by thinking there are enough twists in the
story to keep a reader interested. (You may disagree... but then
you'd probably not read this afterword!)

Anyway, there won't be a second draft, much less a final version.
First, you all have the story already, and most of you have read
it. Changing the script would force you to read it again, and you
probably rather have a new story (and I rather have interested
readers). That is a disadvantage of the "serial" format - the author
can't go back and insert useful pieces into previous chapters, or
change continuity backwards on a whim. (Or is it actually an
advantage? Sometimes I wonder.) Second, I wouldn't change the
story itself, nor the main characters. It would still begin with
Khiray's Foxtaur bargain and the Demon revelation, and it would
still end with the final duel with Galbren and Khezzarrik, and
Khiray leaving the Armygan. Khiray would still be a dreaming
naive youngster in the beginning, eager to please and frightened
by the forces that gather around him, and he would still end up
a hero, surviving the worst things that could happen to him
(almost - this cruel Otter author can think of even nastier things,
but that would leave Khiray catatonic or crippled, rather unsuitable 
for a hero), strengthened by his love and supported by his 
determination. Pallys would still be dead. Saljin would still
have to deal with her honor and duty. And the path of all the 
other characters would be essentially the same.
And third and finally, all the translation work I have done
would be in vain. I had to translate it all again, or perform the
changes on two texts in different languages in parallel.

So even if we could argue about the necessity of a final draft,
there won't be any. The text is completed, like it or not. 
After all, I don't make any money with it.

I'll go on to other stories now. First, there is a sf story I promised
to Yarf, essentially a rewrite of a story I did some years back for
a contest. Parts of it are written already, but I'd like to illustrate
it, too. Then, there are six complete storylines that are ready
for writing - I assembled those while I wrote "Khiray"; some make
a novel, others just a short story. One of those stories has become so
prevalent in my mind that I feel a real need to write it down, but
it is so depressing and sad that I'd rather do a simple plain action
story before. Then there is one sf story that covers the "change of
body" theme; I will write that one as a real novel with the intention
to sell it, so I have to write it completely in German first, and while
it is clearly furry, it may not end up posted here. And a lot of titles
and ideas that I collect in a file; maybe something comes out of that,
too.

(I do welcome comments on what you'd like to read, but please
keep in mind that those are MY stories, and while I may catch the
idea you are throwing at me if it's interesting, I'm still the one who
does the writing and who decides about the contents. I can write
for years without running out of old ideas, not to speak of new
ones. And this is only my furry stuff. But if you like to tell me
what you think, you are welcome.
Ah, to whom am I talking anyway? Judging from the responses
I got for "Khiray", there will be some people that tell me that they
liked it, some who demand porno stuff, a creepy little voice
crying "Me too", and a vast majority who does not even tell me
if they read what I write at all. Maybe I should print and sell my
stuff, then I'd get at least to know how many readers I actually have!
C'm on, guys and gals, get off the bleachers!)

Or did I do so badly? I'm not English or American; maybe it is a
ludicrous illusion that I could ever please a native speaker with my
stories. I'd hate to make a complete ass of myself. Maybe I should
quit that story business altogether and quietly retreat to the bleachers
myself, instead of wasting bandwidth with my dumb texts. I offered
you many months ago that I would try to prevent future errors if you
just point them out to me. But the only hint I ever got was from Jumpy
(he was dead right about my mistake), and he's German too. It
seems all the native speakers, who know better, left me after the first
chapter, and I'm not sure whether to bother anymore and translate the
stuff. Okay, I know about some English/American/Australian readers,
but this translating is godawful work, and not even knowing whether
I have ten readers or a thousand is pretty tiresome.

Starting with that Yarf! story (I do not know yet if it will be published,
after all, I did not yet write it...) everything will be written directly in
English, like this text. That will eliminate most Germanisms - I have a
tendency to cling too much to German sentence structure, preserving
every sentence in the original words, which is very bad. Furthermore,
I will stick to shorter texts for a while, leaving me the option to go
over the text and correct it afterwards. 

I do not know if and when I will return to longer stories; there is so
much to do and so little time. I'd like to do comics instead; surely I'd
get more recognition in the visual field if I'd draw something. And
I would like to see some of my stuff printed, if not professionally -
my English is too bad for an actual book, and furry is not a well-liked
genre with big-time publishers anyway - then at least in fanzines.
Comics would bring some $$ (no, I'm not having any delusions about
the amount), and being published in fanzines could get me a complimentary 
issue, if nothing else. I'm easily frustrated, and facing the wall of silence
rising before me is disheartening. I won't try to tell you that my return as 
storyteller depends on the final responses to "Khiray" -- see, I'm not
only doing this to share a story with you, I'm also flattering my vanity
by having all that online stuff out there; hey, why not simply admit it...
--, but it will have an influence. Keep your very own Otter happy, send
him some nice lines.

Sigh.

However, it's over. More than one and a half year since it began, more
than 500 pages later - twice the volume and thrice the time I had 
originally intended for the project (okay, I took a half-year break, but
that was not my intention after all). What do they say? "Creativity is
ten percent inspiration and ninety percent perspiration." True, true.
And the final polish would need about the same time again, but as I
said, I won't do that.

[I actually wanted to tell you something about myself in this place,
but I guess no one's interested in writer's biographies, so I will just
mention that "Khiray" is not my first novel -- albeit the first one that
is available to the public. And I cut the stuff about how "Khiray" was
actually written as well; maybe there are some readers who think the
magic of a story is lost when someone describes the development in
too much detail.]

Thus, I stop here. I hope you had fun and enjoyed the ride. Join me again
for a new story from the Armygan -- or some other part of the same
world -- or something completely different. Read some reviews in the
meantime, and support our anthologies.


"Khiray again attended to her [Saljin's] soft ears with his muzzle and to 
her sleep-ruffled and love-tousled fur with his hands, sleepy, content, 
filled with silence and emptyness."

I sure wish I had a pretty Foxtauress right here.

--- Cairyn Playful Otter ---
(Ronald W. Klemp)
March 10, 1997


