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No. 22235
ID: fdb81c
I have no place in judging the artwork, cause I just don't have the chops to know anything about it. But I think I have the chops to judge the character and characterization.
Ian:
>Eh. Just once I'd like to see a dark anti-hero-ish character named Stan or Walter.
Age: 29
>At least he ain't some kind of hyper-competent teenager. But I'd suspect that someone of this age would start to learn form life experience, and being applying it.
Ian is essentially an ideal vision of myself if I were a furry instead of a human. He is a direct reflection of myself in personality. Of course, with fictional characters, one has the benefit of making things a little more exciting than usual.
>Never say that the character is an idealized version of yourself, even if it's true and really obvious. Just don't say it. Not saying it leaves us fudge room to believe you're just terrible at this.
In this case, Ian is a freelance 'Professional.' He's a hired gun, a soldier of fortune. Some of his clients have been noteworthy people. Others have been less than reputable. He doesn't come cheap, but he backs up his work with a 'lifetime guarantee' of sorts. Either the job gets done, or he dies trying. Anonymity is important to him, and he doesn't take jobs that are too close to home for that very reason. Those that do know him closely are completely oblivious to how he makes his living. They think he is an 'Efficiency Consultant.' In some twisted point of view, that's absolutely correct.
>Okay, from a creative standpoint, I'd have just left it at "Professional" or used the words assassin or hitman. "Hired gun" and "Soldier of Fortune" makes him sound like a rough mercenary, not someone who is exacting and quiet. Also, the second part about keeping his job secret would have been excellent time to expand on his personality or add some depth. Like he's actually ashamed of what he does or he's just an out-and-out psychopath who can fake emotions really well but doesn't actually feel them.
When not under contract, Ian spends his time relaxing in his apartment, playing video games, watching movies and TV shows, barbecuing on the balcony, listening to music, and maintaining his fitness.
>Some of these things feel exclusive to each other. Unless he's playing Wii Fit or Kinect Fitness. But if this IS how he lives, this would also paint him as a loner or recluse. Which isn't bad necessarily, but conflicts the porn-friendly aspects of the bio.
Ian's dress attire is always a fishnet shirt, ankle-length black leather trenchcoat, black pants (leather or denim), and black cyberpunk boots. He wears a spiked collar that never comes off for any reason.
>Okay, how the hell does he maintain any "Anonymity" if he wears the same thing all the time? Especially if he wears such recognizable clothes. Even Hitman 47 put on disguises from time to time. It wouldn't be that hard to say, "You've got a hit out on you. Watch out for anyone who looks like he came from the club scene in the Matrix."
Ian's penis is humanoid and uncut, 7 inches in length when fully erect.
>Ehh... A little on the optimisitic side, but it's not grossly hyperbolic. I'd say this part is a wash.
Ian's sexual preferences lean toward the fairer sex. He is naturally heterosexual, but has had many male partners as well. He prefers submissive, bashful types. He sees his lovers not just as people in need of intimate contact, but also of protection. He finds meaning in his life when holding someone he loves in his arms. Yet his extremely introverted lifestyle makes settling down with him difficult. He doesn't like the idea of being with one person for the rest of his life. He would much rather be 'within reach' of anyone that needs him.
>This is something I've ALWAYS had a problem with. No. Just no. I don't care your reasoning or explanation, being a playboy witha bunch of lovers AND being a loner do not go together. I don't care how many times you use the word Love, it is anything but. If he really is sleeping with lots of people, and thinks he loves each and every one of them in the way implied, then he's got committment problems or the same sense of "love" as folks here on the web whom "fall in love" with anyone who will chat with them for more than an hour. Now you COULD make something of this if, you know, you tried. Example: He does have multiple lovers and he does think he's protecting them and loving them for their benefit, but deep down he's really just feeding his ego. He needs someone to need him. He's not really loving them, he's just kinda using them. There's a story in there.
From the age of 16 to his mid 20's, before he wizened with age, Ian was just as likely to be taken to bed as he was to bring others to his bed. He slept with many a woman and man. Only men that could overpower him earned the right to top him. Now that he's pushing 30, the number of people that still have that right has significantly decreased.
>This part is just confusing or at least unimportant. It doesn't really add anything. Unless you add it to my proposed example from above, then you could say he liked being sexed-up because, once again, he wanted to people to want him.
Ian has had a vasectomy to ensure he never has kids of his own.
>If there were an explanation for why, other than he never wants kids, it could have fleshed him out a bit more.
His preferred weapon of choice is the M1911 handgun, and he has two concealed on his person at all times when out of his apartment.
>Look, if you're going to give your character a weapon, make it part of him. Don't just say he has this particular kind of gun to be cool. Say why. Is it special? Did someone give it to him? Was this the same gun he first killed with? Make it say something about him. And don't just assume we know that he can dual-wield, because... well that's dumb.
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