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", "count": "2", "submission_right_submission_id": "3641595", "submission_right_file_name": "5603157_ultralewdbat_ratchet_and_clank_fuzzy_logic.txt", "submission_right_thumbnail_url_huge": "https://nl1.ib.metapix.net/thumbnails/huge/5603/5603157_ultralewdbat_ratchet_and_clank_fuzzy_logic.jpg", "submission_right_thumbnail_url_large": "https://nl1.ib.metapix.net/thumbnails/large/5603/5603157_ultralewdbat_ratchet_and_clank_fuzzy_logic.jpg", "submission_right_thumbnail_url_medium": "https://nl1.ib.metapix.net/thumbnails/medium/5603/5603157_ultralewdbat_ratchet_and_clank_fuzzy_logic.jpg", "submission_right_thumb_huge_x": "300", "submission_right_thumb_huge_y": "169", "submission_right_thumb_large_x": "200", "submission_right_thumb_large_y": "112", "submission_right_thumb_medium_x": "120", "submission_right_thumb_medium_y": "67" } ], "description": "In which Clank realizes some things about his feelings for Ratchet", "description_bbcode_parsed": "In which Clank realizes some things about his feelings for Ratchet", "writing": "Retirement just never seemed to work out for the Lombax hero Ratchet or his robotic friend Clank. Something would happen that would draw them back into the action and usually in a dire manner. About the fourth time (or it might have been the twelfth some of those adventures bled together) This had happened, Ratchet decided it might be easier to just lean into it. Clank had agreed and so they had planned out a lengthy tour of low level action dealing with death courses, arena challenges and more than a few gang fights. It had been so relatively calm they had actually been planning a trip to Veldin for a vacation when the news came out.\n\n\nThe Museum of Intergalactic History on Igliak had suffered a theft, which probably wouldn’t have gotten the attention of a pair of heroes like Ratchet and Clank if not for what was stolen. One of the remaining Biobliterators and a copy of the blueprints. Needless to say the two sprang into action there was a whole tale of daring-do and gags that this story quite frankly does not have the time for. After tracking the Biobliterator all the way back to the solanna galaxy and then to a micro planet in bum fuck nowhere Ratchet and Clank finally confront the villain and then things go a little sideways. You’ll see soon enough.\n\n---\n\n\nRatchet came to a complete stop as the doors slid open. “Oh **** me!”\n\nClank peered around his shoulder at the profanity. “The Museum is not going to be happy about this…” Clank remarked dryly witnessing as his friend had that the Biobliterator had been Hot Rodded. The main gun was one of the few things still remaining wholly intact, the spheroid armor was shucked like corn along with all the bits that let the device take on its combat form. Its engines had been swapped out for a much more aggressive body. A gunner control slash cockpit had been added on top turning the model into a gun with some big engines strapped on the back pretending to be a spacecraft.\n\n\n“YES **** YOU!” the Czarnian pilot called out. “Nothing will stop my plan for revenge!!!”\n\n“Yeah speaking of care to rant at us about what it is you want revenge on?” Ratchet asked as he began to stealthily scoot to the left.\n\n“Or for that matter for what reason you chose the Bioblitorator?” Clank chimed in knowing that the play here was to trick their foe into a long winded motive rant.\n\n“WELL since you asked… I Might as well tell you that soon the Blackwater High School class of ‘178 will suffer my wrath as payment for calling me names, beating my *** and generally ruining my life!!!”\n\nRatchet whispered. “I think I have a shot from here but I need some extra height.” Clank nodded, readying his jump jets to push Ratchet into the sky.\n\n\n“That’s why I’m going to use this modified device to turn them all into sexbots!” The loony declared.\n\n\nRatchet went from crouched prepared to jump to ramrod straight in the span of two seconds. “You’re gonna- What? Why?”\n\n“I modified this Biobleterator to transform its targets using the latest in organic pleasure technology. I’m going to **** them literally. And when I get bored with them I'll dismantle them for parts and sell them for scrap!!!”\n\n\n“That’s nuts! Why sex bots, why not just invent some sort of mind control doodad?” Ratchet said fully distracted from his previous task.\n\n“Please do not give the wannabe super villain ideas, Ratchet.” Clank replied.\n\n“Oh yeah, I suppose you are right.” Ratchet said before fixing the villain with a stern gaze.\n\n“I’m a man of simple tastes, I like robots and I like sex. Put them together with a side of REVENGE and you have a winning combo.”\n\n“You know we aren’t going to let you do that right?” Ratchet said, finally dropping back into his ready stance.\n\n\n“Yeah you are.” the villain declared and very suddenly the whole room was flooded with an orange light. Clank dropped to the floor, his connection point no longer there. “Thanks for waiting while the gun warmed up by the way, that last software patch took forever to download!”\n\n\nClank turned and was shocked to see that his lombax friend was gone. Sleek chrome steel marked with glossy black stripes replaced sandy brown fur and orange stripes. Glowing orange camera screens replaced blue eyes. His clothes were represented by dark gunmetal segments. Ratchet was now a robot and as Clank ran around to see the front side of his friend he was shocked to find himself admiring him in a distinctly sexual way. Ratchets transformed color scheme was so dull that bits of him that did have more color were very eye catching which is how Clank found his eyes drifting from the glowing circle on his upper chest to the softly glowing Mecha-Tech model 220 “Pleasure Pulse” phallus that jutted proudly from Ratchets hips.\n\n\n“Very nice i’ll have to come back for-” The villain's speech was cut short when robo-Ratchet suddenly whipped a broken groovitron into his head knocking the Czarnian out cold.\n\n\n“Ah man… stupid Biobliterator. I look ridiculous.” Ratchet said, looking himself over before covering the glowing cock jutting from his hips. \n\n“I’m going to pull the specs from that machine so we can get you back to normal…” Clank said only slightly bothered by the voice asking him if he really wanted Ratchet to be all squishy again. “I suppose I should secure the villain as well.”\n\n“Cool, I'll get in touch with the Galactic Rangers and arrange a pickup…” Ratchet frowned at himself again. “No cameras.”\n\n---\n\n\nClank was very distracted the whole flight home. He was having some sort of malfunction because he couldn’t stop glancing over at Ratchet's newly shiny self. The image of his friend standing all steel and silicon was occupying an unsettling amount of his RAM. Specifically the sexual attachment Ratchet was sporting kept creeping back into his thoughts. Clank was about as male as a robot could get and had until today been entirely heterosexual. Or so he had thought perhaps he had simply never met a male he was attracted to. Maybe it was just Ratchet, maybe the lombax who was his first friend was the only exception. Clank thought about all the effort they had put into saving one another from various disasters and realized that love was the only explanation for their choices. Today’s revelation was that fleshiness aside he would love to be Ratchet’s romantic partner.\n\n“Clank you want to get out of the ship sometime today?” Ratchet said, his voice popping with his general agitation. \n\n\nClank looked around realizing that they were parked at their home on Metropolis. “Oh uhm sorry I was… lost in thought.” Clank said as Ratchet helped him out of the ship.\n\n\n“I can’t remember a time you were this quiet, You must be putting some serious thought into whatever it is.” Ratchet said as he walked across the floor his mechanical tail lashed side to side. The swaying appendage and his angle gave Clank a tantalizing view of the softly luminescent “Pleasure Port” nestled in the silicon covered cheeks of his rear\n\n\n“Uuuhhh.” Clank responded as he was smacked across the face with the reminder that his friend had not just been turned into a robot but a sexbot. Ratchet was at this moment when Clank was questioning his own sexuality a machine designed solely for sexual gratification. Ratchet was already walking into the house and Clank followed after. He couldn’t help but compare the sway of the robot Ratchet's hips to the gait the lombax used normally. \n\n\n“Okay you got the plans for the modified Bioblitorator let's get a list of parts together and… Clank?”\n\n\nClank snapped from the haze of thoughts that he had been in. “Yes?”\n\n\n“Am I going nuts or do you have a boner?” Ratchet asked, pointing directly between Clank’s legs.\n\nClank glanced down and winced physically and mentally as he realized that he was very much popping a “boner”. Clank considered his options and decided honesty was the best strategy. “I am in fact. It’s Mecha-Tech model 220 in Ameboid Green. It would normally be concealed except for when I get excited and well…” Clank’s fans whirred as if he was overheating. “I can’t help but find your present appearance extremely attractive.” \n\nThe glow in Ratchet's eyes dimmed and then flared. “Oh you think this looks hot huh?” Ratchet teased turning to the side and wiggling his hips causing his mechanized cock to bounce and sway in a fashion that had Clank feeling a need to check his coolant levels. The robot Lombax laughed at Clank before turning and walking up to him again. “So call me incurious but I never wondered how two robots got it on… until today.”\n\n\nClank blinked three times quickly before realizing that due to the difference in height he was eye level with Ratchet’s glowing member. Clank lamented not having proper lips as at the moment all he wanted to do was to shove that orange cock into his mouth. Instead he reached up and gave it a stroke he wasn’t sure of what he was going to do beyond that. “Well in that case let me take the lead.” Clank replied, still stroking his long-time companion's cock.\n\n\n“Mmm no complaints from me, this feels pretty great.” Ratchet replied with a groan of pleasure. “There’s more to this than stroking right? Or is it because we are both guys?” Ratchet asked, slowly sinking to his knees as his tool began to drool lubricant over Clank’s digits. \n\n“There is more we could do but you’d have to take it.” Clank felt his own cock jump and something skipped a run cycle from the excitement. “I don’t have that part installed.” Ratchet's grin was smug, his glowing eyes smoldering as he laid himself on the ground cock jutting into the air clear lube dribbling forth down to the silicon ring of his pleasure port.\n\n\n“Show me.” Ratchet commanded as he used his tail to prop his bottom up to the perfect level. Clank hesitated for only a moment before obeying. Clank was far from being inexperienced with sex. Indeed his fame both as a saviour of three galaxies and a holofilm actor had given no end of opportunities to indulge his appetite for love. None of the ladies he had been with before or after his latest upgrades compared to Ratchet. The robotic lombax’s pleasure port was slick and smooth. Ratchet was smiling, his eyes focused on Clank as the smaller robot worked his hips into Clank with a passion never before felt. “Mmmm so how long have you had this secret weapon?” Ratchet teased the robot lombax asked as his tool sprayed his chest and face with lube.\n\n“I had a… smaller model… when I was assembled… it wore out before the protopet incident.” Clank replied his cooling systems were acting up and it was affecting his vocalizers. “They didn’t make that model anymore… So I got this one.”\n\n“I think it’s just the right size for you… and for me.” Ratchet replied with his tool fountaining a fresh batch of lube on to his sleek metal body. \n\nClank could only take so much stimulation. “I love you Ratchet!” Clank cried out as his cock twitched and flooded Ratchet’s pleasure port with nanite infused lubricant. Clank’s systems flashed a message and he went through a forced shut down.\n\n\n---\n\n\nClank rebooted to the sound of the door shutting and some heavy parts slamming down on Ratchet's work bench next to him. \n\n“What happened?” Clank asked.\n\n“So apparently that modded blitorator tried to force install some programs in both of us but the signal got jammed into your signal buffer. After we had sex you had a buffer overflow and I had to rummage around in your head to figure out what was wrong.” Ratchet said, rapidly assembling the parts from the box. “While I was there I got a parts list to undo my robotness.” \n\n“Oh I see.” Clank replied feeling a touch disappointed that Ratchet was going to be all squishy again.\n\n“Oh and I also got this for you.” Ratchet said, presenting Clank with an installation kit for a pleasure port. “I figured even with regular delivery times we’d have plenty of free time to play around with each other.” Ratchet said his eyes aglow with mischief and something more. “Oh and I love you to Clank.”", "writing_bbcode_parsed": "Retirement just never seemed to work out for the Lombax hero Ratchet or his robotic friend Clank. Something would happen that would draw them back into the action and usually in a dire manner.  About the fourth time (or it might have been the twelfth some of those adventures bled together) This had happened, Ratchet decided it might be easier to just lean into it. Clank had agreed and so they had planned out a lengthy tour of low level action dealing with death courses, arena challenges and more than a few gang fights. It had been so relatively calm they had actually been planning a trip to Veldin for a vacation when the news came out.


The Museum of Intergalactic History on Igliak had suffered a theft, which probably wouldn’t have gotten the attention of a pair of heroes like Ratchet and Clank if not for what was stolen. One of the remaining Biobliterators and a copy of the blueprints. Needless to say the two sprang into action there was a whole tale of daring-do and gags that this story quite frankly does not have the time for. After tracking the Biobliterator all the way back to the solanna galaxy and then to a micro planet in bum fuck nowhere Ratchet and Clank finally confront the villain and then things go a little sideways. You’ll see soon enough.

---


Ratchet came to a complete stop as the doors slid open. “Oh **** me!”

Clank peered around his shoulder at the profanity. “The Museum is not going to be happy about this…” Clank remarked dryly witnessing as his friend had that the Biobliterator had been Hot Rodded. The main gun was one of the few things still remaining wholly intact, the spheroid armor was shucked like corn along with all the bits that let the device take on its combat form. Its engines had been swapped out for a much more aggressive body. A gunner control slash cockpit had been added on top turning the model into a gun with some big engines strapped on the back pretending to be a spacecraft.


“YES **** YOU!” the Czarnian pilot called out. “Nothing will stop my plan for revenge!!!”

“Yeah speaking of care to rant at us about what it is you want revenge on?” Ratchet asked as he began to stealthily scoot to the left.

“Or for that matter for what reason you chose the Bioblitorator?” Clank chimed in knowing that the play here was to trick their foe into a long winded motive rant.

“WELL since you asked… I Might as well tell you that soon the Blackwater High School class of ‘178 will suffer my wrath as payment for calling me names, beating my *** and generally ruining my life!!!”

Ratchet whispered. “I think I have a shot from here but I need some extra height.”  Clank nodded, readying his jump jets to push Ratchet into the sky.


“That’s why I’m going to use this modified device to turn them all into sexbots!” The loony declared.


Ratchet went from crouched prepared to jump to ramrod straight in the span of two seconds. “You’re gonna- What? Why?”

“I modified this Biobleterator to transform its targets using the latest in organic pleasure technology. I’m going to **** them literally. And when I get bored with them I'll dismantle them for parts and sell them for scrap!!!”


“That’s nuts! Why sex bots, why not just invent some sort of mind control doodad?” Ratchet said fully distracted from his previous task.

“Please do not give the wannabe super villain ideas, Ratchet.” Clank replied.

“Oh yeah, I suppose you are right.” Ratchet said before fixing the villain with a stern gaze.

“I’m a man of simple tastes, I like robots and I like sex. Put them together with a side of REVENGE and you have a winning combo.”

“You know we aren’t going to let you do that right?” Ratchet said, finally dropping back into his ready stance.


“Yeah you are.” the villain declared and very suddenly the whole room was flooded with an orange light. Clank dropped to the floor, his connection point no longer there. “Thanks for waiting while the gun warmed up by the way, that last software patch took forever to download!”


Clank turned and was shocked to see that his lombax friend was gone. Sleek chrome steel marked with glossy black stripes replaced sandy brown fur and orange stripes. Glowing orange camera screens replaced blue eyes. His clothes were represented by dark gunmetal segments. Ratchet was now a robot and as Clank ran around to see the front side of his friend he was shocked to find himself admiring him in a distinctly sexual way. Ratchets transformed color scheme was so dull that  bits of him that did have more color were very eye catching which is how Clank found his eyes drifting from the glowing circle on his upper chest to the softly glowing Mecha-Tech model 220 “Pleasure Pulse” phallus that jutted proudly from Ratchets hips.


“Very nice i’ll have to come back for-” The villain's speech was cut short when robo-Ratchet suddenly whipped a broken groovitron into his head knocking the Czarnian out cold.


“Ah man… stupid Biobliterator. I look ridiculous.” Ratchet said, looking himself over before covering the glowing cock jutting from his hips.

“I’m going to pull the specs from that machine so we can get you back to normal…” Clank said only slightly bothered by the voice asking him if he really wanted Ratchet to be all squishy again. “I suppose I should secure the villain as well.”

“Cool, I'll get in touch with the Galactic Rangers and arrange a pickup…” Ratchet frowned at himself again. “No cameras.”

---


Clank was very distracted the whole flight home. He was having some sort of malfunction because he couldn’t stop glancing over at Ratchet's newly shiny self. The image of his friend standing all steel and silicon was occupying an unsettling amount of his RAM. Specifically the sexual attachment Ratchet was sporting kept creeping back into his thoughts. Clank was about as male as a robot could get and had until today been entirely heterosexual. Or so he had thought perhaps he had simply never met a male he was attracted to. Maybe it was just Ratchet, maybe the lombax who was his first friend was the only exception. Clank thought about all the effort they had put into saving one another from various disasters and realized that love was the only explanation for their choices. Today’s revelation was that fleshiness aside he would love to be Ratchet’s romantic partner.

“Clank you want to get out of the ship sometime today?” Ratchet said, his voice popping with his general agitation.


Clank looked around realizing that they were parked at their home on Metropolis. “Oh uhm sorry I was… lost in thought.” Clank said as Ratchet helped him out of the ship.


“I can’t remember  a time you were this quiet, You must be putting some serious thought into whatever it is.” Ratchet said as he walked across the floor his mechanical tail lashed side to side. The swaying appendage and his angle gave Clank a tantalizing view of the softly luminescent “Pleasure Port” nestled in the silicon covered cheeks of his rear


“Uuuhhh.” Clank responded as he was smacked across the face with the reminder that his friend had not just been turned into a robot but a sexbot. Ratchet was at this moment when Clank was questioning his own sexuality a machine designed solely for sexual gratification. Ratchet was already walking into the house and Clank followed after. He couldn’t help but compare the sway of the robot Ratchet's hips to the gait the lombax used normally.  


“Okay you got the plans for the modified Bioblitorator let's get a list of parts together and… Clank?”


Clank snapped from the haze of thoughts that he had been in. “Yes?”


“Am I going nuts or do you have a boner?” Ratchet asked, pointing directly between Clank’s legs.

Clank glanced down and winced physically and mentally as he realized that he was very much popping a “boner”. Clank considered his options and decided honesty was the best strategy. “I am in fact. It’s Mecha-Tech model 220 in Ameboid Green. It would normally be concealed except for when I get excited and well…” Clank’s fans whirred as if he was overheating. “I can’t help but find your present appearance extremely attractive.”

The glow in Ratchet's eyes dimmed and then flared. “Oh you think this looks hot huh?” Ratchet teased turning to the side and wiggling his hips causing his mechanized cock to bounce and sway in a fashion that had Clank feeling a need to check his coolant levels. The robot Lombax laughed at Clank before turning and walking up to him again. “So call me incurious but I never wondered how two robots got it on… until today.”


Clank blinked three times quickly before realizing that due to the difference in height he was eye level with Ratchet’s glowing member. Clank lamented not having proper lips as at the moment all he wanted to do was to shove that orange cock into his mouth. Instead he reached up and gave it a stroke he wasn’t sure of what he was going to do beyond that. “Well in that case let me take the lead.” Clank replied, still stroking his long-time companion's cock.


“Mmm no complaints from me, this feels pretty great.” Ratchet replied with a groan of pleasure. “There’s more to this than stroking right? Or is it because we are both guys?” Ratchet asked, slowly sinking to his knees as his tool began to drool lubricant over Clank’s digits.

“There is more we could do but you’d have to take it.” Clank felt his own cock jump and something skipped a run cycle from the excitement. “I don’t have that part installed.” Ratchet's grin was smug, his glowing eyes smoldering as he laid himself on the ground cock jutting into the air clear lube dribbling forth down to the silicon ring of his pleasure port.


“Show me.” Ratchet commanded as he used his tail to prop his bottom up to the perfect level. Clank hesitated for only a moment before obeying. Clank was far from being inexperienced with sex. Indeed his fame both as a saviour of three galaxies and a holofilm actor had given no end of opportunities to indulge his appetite for love. None of the ladies he had been with before or after his latest upgrades compared to Ratchet. The robotic lombax’s pleasure port was slick and smooth. Ratchet was smiling, his eyes focused on Clank as the smaller robot worked his hips into Clank with a passion never before felt. “Mmmm so how long have you had this secret weapon?” Ratchet teased the robot lombax asked as his tool sprayed his chest and face with lube.

“I had a… smaller model… when I was assembled…  it wore out before the protopet incident.” Clank replied his cooling systems were acting up and it was affecting his vocalizers. “They didn’t make that model anymore… So I got this one.”

“I think it’s just the right size for you… and for me.” Ratchet replied with his tool fountaining a fresh batch of lube on to his sleek metal body.

Clank could only take so much stimulation. “I love you Ratchet!” Clank cried out as his cock twitched and flooded Ratchet’s pleasure port with nanite infused lubricant. Clank’s systems flashed a message and he went through a forced shut down.


---


Clank rebooted to the sound of the door shutting and some heavy parts slamming down on Ratchet's work bench next to him.

“What happened?” Clank asked.

“So apparently that modded blitorator tried to force install some programs in both of us but the signal got jammed into your signal buffer. After we had sex you had a buffer overflow and I had to rummage around in your head to figure out what was wrong.” Ratchet said, rapidly assembling the parts from the box. “While I was there I got a parts list to undo my robotness.”

“Oh I see.” Clank replied feeling a touch disappointed that Ratchet was going to be all squishy again.

“Oh and I also got this for you.” Ratchet said, presenting Clank with an installation kit for a pleasure port. “I figured even with regular delivery times we’d have plenty of free time to play around with each other.” Ratchet said his eyes aglow with mischief and something more. “Oh and I love you to Clank.”", "pools_count": 1, "title": "Impressive Hardware", "deleted": "f", "public": "t", "mimetype": "text/plain", "pagecount": "1", "rating_id": "2", "rating_name": "Adult", "ratings": [ { "content_tag_id": "4", "name": "Sexual Themes", "description": "Erotic imagery, sexual activity or arousal", "rating_id": "2" } ], "submission_type_id": "12", "type_name": "Writing - Document", "guest_block": "t", "friends_only": "f", "comments_count": "0", "views": "155" }