The fist knocking on Rainbow's cloud home knocked her out of the latest in a long line of orgasms she was about to reach. "Oh shit!" both her and her father, Bow Hothoof shouted as he stopped slamming his big daddy dick into her. "Quick daddy, hide!" Rainbow shouted, kicking him away without a second thought to the heights of pleasure denied to her as well as his well being. "Ah!" Bow shouted, as he collapsed against the headboard of her bed. "Dashie, sweetie! You kicked me in the junk! It hurt! A lot!" "I'll kiss it better later, okay!" she whispered loudly, quickly throwing on a jacket and some sweat pants, hiding her discarded clothes under her mattress. "Right now, though, you really have to hide, daddy! I'm sorry, but hop to it!" Bow sniveled and whined, pointing at his still erect cock. "But...boner." The knocking on her door increased in intensity. Rainbow snapped her fingers. "Now, daddy!" A single, manly tear rolled down Bow's face as he sighed sadly and complied, sliding off the bed and ducking behind a nearby bookshelf. Once secure that her father was out of sight, Rainbow rushed to the door in her famous speed, shouting, "Alright, alright already! Hold your horses! I'm coming, I'm coming!" Irritated, she remarked to herself that she truly had been cumming, or at least about to, before the unexpected interruption. Unlatching it and peeking out, she held a breath she hadn’t know she’d been holding. Standing there was Applejack. Just Applejack. Holding what looked to be a barrel of cider on her shoulders and a sack of apples in her hand. Automatically, Rainbow Dash wiped away some of the sweat that had pooled on her brow. Not from the nervousness of it being a guard rather than a long time friend, but from the marathon booty call her and her dad had been thoroughly and vigorously answering for each other. “Hey, AJ. What’s up? And if you say this house here, I hope you like getting suddenly reacquainted with the ground. I know you still can’t fly all that well since the alicorn shift, but I don’t care. I’ve heard that joke way too many times. “Pinkie?” “Pinkie.” Applejack nodded in understanding. “Well, I just decided to drop on by, or more like fly on up—” Rainbow Dash groaned. “To give you some munchies and stuff to wash down your munchies.” Rainbow nodded and opened the door, letting Applejack in. When she was fully inside, she shut and locked the door and asked, “Is it cider season already?” “No. But Granny’s been experimenting with her newfangled alicorn magic and forcing us to help her.” Applejack made her way to the kitchen counter and placed the barrel and sack firmly and securely on it. “Her latest mad magician scheme’s got us trying to make new kinds of cider apples to get the maximum amount of the stuff for the fewest amount of apples.” Rainbow perked up. “Huh. Sounds interesting. Let me guess: the cider you brought over is supposed to be one big taste test for little ole me?” “E’yup,” Applejack admitted, pouring her and Rainbow a glass each. “Believe it or not, this gallon here we managed to get out of only six apples.” “Only six apples?!” Rainbow asked, incredulous. “E’yup,” Applejack said, handing Rainbow her the glass. “And they ain’t giant neither. They’re small suckers. Only about the size of golfballs. Or the kidney stones Pinkie should be passing through her willy if she was a stallion and her body processed all the sugary junk she eats like a normal pony.” Rainbow spit out the little bit of cider she’d managed to drink before Applejack’s joke started making her laugh uncontrollably, the former pegasus beating her fists against the counter to get a hold of herself again. "Thank ya kindly, thank ya kindly," Applejack said, taking a mock bow. "I'll be here till Tuesday. Try the apple fritters. The bits keep Sweet Apple Acres running." Once Rainbow finally got herself under control, she managed to say, between giggles, "Well, I'm going to try and not let anymore of Granny's giant kidney stone sized apples go to waste. But I make no promises if you sideswipe me out of nowhere with a funny comment like that again." "You're welcome," Applejack drawled, taking the first sip of her cider. "I aim to please." Rainbow swished the cider around in her mouth a bunch, really doing all she could to really taste it to give her honest opinion. Finally, she swallowed and smacked her lips. "Well?" Applejack asked. Rainbow looked like she was wondering about something. "What's that? What's that face mean? Did you like it? Did you not like it?" Rainbow itched her nose. "Well, it's...it's not bad." "Not bad?" "Yeah." Rainbow Dash took another sip. "Well what in tarnation is that supposed to mean?!" Rainbow took a step back, a tad afraid by the sheer heat in Applejack's word. "Whoa, whoa. Take it easy. It's not Flim-Flam cider levels of just okay at best. This stuff's at least above average." "Above average?!" Applejack yelled, disbelievingly. "We was taking shifts day and night pouring magic to make that batch of apples!" "Look, okay, the flavor isn't bad, Applejack!" Rainbow yelled back. "It's just... the flavor from your normal supply of cider apples is a little more well rounded, you know? Yes of a kick to it. Can't really savor the flavor the same way. This stuff right here is like Mug Rootbeer, and your normal stuff is like A and W." "Mug rootbeer?!" Applejack took off her cowboy hat and started stomping on it. "A whole three days down the drain for something people could get at the bargain store!" “Oh yeah!” Rainbow said, taking another sip of cider. “Speaking of, how’s it going trying to convince Filthy Rich and Diamond Tiara to come out and camp for a bit on your property?” Applejack chuckled, but it sounded forced. "Well, they ain't biting just yet. I mean, they've been spending a lot of time at the mall or the movies every time Diamond gets out from school recently, but it ain't long enough for Phase 2 to commence just yet." "Darn," Rainbow said, downing the last of her cider. "I was REALLY hoping you were hiding the first set of footage regularly coming in of Filthy and Diamond doing each other in this sack or barrel." "Dashie, what do you think this is, a spy movie?" "Kinda?" "Well, hate to break it to you, but this is just me being neighborly and seeing if all me and my family's slaving away was worth anything. Which apparently, it wasn't." Applejack sighed sadly. "Oh, come on, you know that's not true!" Rainbow exclaimed. "Just because it's not the smash hit you were hoping for doesn't mean it's not good. It's just a set back, I promise! You and Grannie Smith know apples better than anyone! I'm sure you'll get it right soon enough!" Applejack looked at her friend and smiled sadly. "Thanks, Dashie. You're a good friend. And hey, at least we done got eternity to figure it out ever since Twilight cracked the alicorn code for everypony, right?" "Right. We do definitely have that. And infinite time to spend with those we love and care for the most." Rainbow pointed her muzzle to her bedroom a few times until she was sure Applejack got the hint. "Oh! Your daddy! He's..." Rainbow nodded like a horny bobblehead who couldn't wait for this conversation to end so she could get bag to taking the shagging she'd been so shamelessly enjoying before being interrupted. "Girl, why didn't you say anything?!" Applejack chuckled. "Because I thought you were here to secretly show me porn of another father-daughter duo doing the do. Not Daring Doo, just the do. Sorry for any confusion." Applejack shook her head, a shit eating grin on her face. "Well, I'll certainly let you know when Filthy and Diamond take the bait and we can bug his house properly." She walked over to the door. "I'll just leave you and Bow to it, then." She opened the door, closed it behind her, and left. Quickly running back to the door and locking it again, Rainbow fell to the ground and sighed in relief. "Is she gone, sweet pea?" her father asked from her bedroom. "Yeah." Rainbow rushed back to the bedroom and looked at the bookshelf her father was hiding behind. "It's safe to come out now. We're in the clear. For the moment, anyways." Bow Hothoof stepped out and grinned, nuzzling his daughter's cheek affectionately. He licked his lips lecherously. "So... where were we, baby?" Rainbow blushed and giggled. "If I remember correctly, we had just got done making out like whales fighting over krill, like so--" The two grabbed hold of each other's lips and kissed each other as deeply as they could, their tongues wrestling like Hulk Hogan in his prime vs The Rock in his heyday. They parted. "And then, you ate my pussy out like this--" Rainbow Dash pulled down her sweat pants and forcefully shoved her father onto his knees and her pussy into his face to lick like a succulent piece of roast beef. "Mmm, that's it, Daddy! Suck on your little girl's clitty and taste her sweet juices! Show me how much you want it!" She moaned as he began to lap at her folds hungrily. "Oh, that feels so good! Suck harder! Yeah! At least, that's what I think I said." Bow's tongue danced around her clit, flicking it expertly as his free hand reached up beneath her jacket to play with her bare nipples. Rainbow arched her back, her hips bucking wildly as she tried to force herself deeper onto his face. The pleasure was overwhelming, and she could feel herself starting to build towards an orgasm. "But before you could take me over the top," she pushed Bow aside and through him onto the bed, "I chucked you onto the bed and started sucking your big daddy dick, daddy. Like so!" She jumped into the air, opened wide, relaxed her throat, and dived her move over her father's penis, deep throating it in one smooth, if forceful, go as she landed. "That's it, baby! Suck on that big, hard daddy-dick! Suck it till all of daddy's juices paint your stomach white! That's probably what I said," he moaned, thrusting his hips upwards. His cock felt hot and hard in her mouth, filling her completely, making it hard for her to breathe. She pulled back just enough to gasp for air and then dived back down, taking him deeper, her lips brushing against the sensitive skin at the base of his cock. Her father groaned, his hands tangling in her beautiful, multi-colored hair, holding her close as he felt the familiar pressure building in his loins. He began to thrust into her mouth, faster and harder, his hips bucking wildly as he neared his release. "Oh, that's it, baby!" he cried out, his voice raw and desperate. "Suck it out of me, Rainbow! Make Daddy feel good!" Grinning lecherously, Bow grabbed both of Rainbow's cheeks, swollen with the size of his cock, and pulled her off them, a thick trail of saliva connecting his willy to her mouth. "But before I could spill my seed down your sexy throat--" He flipped her over onto her back and spread her leg, holding them over his shoulder. "I think that I couldn't take the foreplay anymore and skipped straight to the main event!" With a deep thrust, he buried his cock in her tight, wet pussy, feeling her walls grip him as she let out a moan. "Oh, fuck yes, Daddy!" she cried out, arching her back as he began to pound into her, throwing of her jacket and sweat pants to the wayside. Her nails dug into the sheets beneath her, and her eyes rolled back in her head as she felt the familiar, aching pleasure build inside her. Her father grinned wickedly down at her, sweat dripping from his brow as he fucked her harder. "That's it, baby," he growled, "take it all from Daddy!" He reached down and grabbed her athletic tits, squeezing them roughly as he thrust deeper, making her gasp for breath. Rainbow arched her back, moaning in ecstasy as she felt herself getting closer and closer to the edge. Between those moans, she asked, “And then…I think...I asked you how mom was doing…” “And then...I think...I told you…she’s all nice...and lazy...and fat with my foal...your new little brother...whose gonna pound his…mommy and you...his big sis...someday in the future...if you and your friends’...little scheme…goes through!” Bow shouted in between his moans "Oh, Daddy, I'm gonna cum!" she cried out, her body tense with anticipation. “Is what I think I said then! And what I’m saying now! Bow thrust harder, his hips slamming into her with a force that made the bed creak beneath them. "Cum for Daddy, baby!" he growled, his breath hot against her ear. He reached down and circled her clit with his thumb, sending her just a step before going over the edge. "Oh fuck yeeeaaahhh! Fuck meeeeee!" Before Rainbow Dash could finally be granted the release she so crazily craved, however, another knock came at her door. "Ahhhhh!" Instinctively, she kicked her father off her again, this time avoiding his junk and only striking him in the solar plexus with her hooves. However, this time, she wound up kicking him so hard that he struck the ceiling and bounced off it onto the floor. Hard. Her father groaned and clutched his side where she had kicked him, rolling onto his back and gasping for breath. "Dammit, Rainbow," he wheezed. "You could have at least warned me..." "No time! Sorry daddy!" Again, Rainbow put on the jacket and sweat pants in a rush and rushed for the door. "Who is it?" she asked, opening the door to find none other than Applejack again, much to her annoyance. "You again?! Can't you come back in like ten minutes, tops?!" "Your jacket and sweat pants are on backwards," Applejack said, ignoring her. Rainbow Dash looked down at herself to realize that her jacket and sweat pants were, in fact, on backwards. "That's besides the point!" she looked up, her face flustered red. "Just come in and tell me what you want, now!" Applejack looked apologetic as she entered and Rainbow shut and locked the door behind her. "Sorry. I know you and your daddy's special playdates are super important to you--" "Uh, yeah! Especially when he's about to take me to cloud nine with his pecker!" Rainbow Dash shouted, sexually exasperated. "But a thought occurred to me as I flew back down. Or, not really flew, just glided and hoped the wind didn't lead me to crash nowhere I didn't want to go." "Yeah, yeah, you're still not the best flyer. Hurry up! I'm loosing arousal here!" "Dashie... you live in a cloud house. A mobile cloud house." "Yeah, yeah, and the sky my cloud house is in is blue. What else is new?" "Dash, do you still have that telescope Twi got you for your birthday last year?" "Oh, yeah, of course. It's in my room somewhere. Why?" Applejack beamed. "The one that let's you record whatever it sees?" "Yeah, but I'm still not following where you're--" Applejack clapped her hands and rushed towards Rainbow's bedroom. "Hey! AJ! Wait! You can't just go waltzing on in there!" Rainbow Dash took off after Applejack, but tripped and fell because her pants on were on backwards and felt weird to run in. Before she could get up, the former earthpony made it into the room, took one look at Bow's naked form, and went, "Hey Bow, what's up?" before going to Rainbow's closet and rummaging around in it. "Uh, me, just now after Dashie kicked me because you were banging on the door harder than I was banging her just now?" "Ha! Ain't that the truth!" Using her wings like a smart pony to get back up, Rainbow Dash then flew into the room and shouted, "Applejack! Stop invading my privacy while me and my dad were having hot, kinky sex, damn it!" "Sorry Dashie, but this revelation can't wait! Not if you want to one day live in a world where you and your daddy don't gots to hide your love no more, ASAP!" Applejack finally pulled out the telescope and pointed at the sliding doors leading to the balcony next to the bed. Taking the hint, Rainbow sighed and pointed at her dad then at his pile of discarded clothing. Grumbling in the same sort of sexual frustration his daughter was in, he hastily put on his boxers, blue jeans, and muscle shirt as Rainbow opened the sliding doors and helped Applejack carry the telescope to the balcony. When Bow was done getting dressed, he helped the two mares set it up carefully as close to the railing as possible and tied it up to the bars so that it didn't accidentally fall overboard and ruin somepony's day. They'd see enough 'airmail' being accidentally dropped by Ditzy Doo not to take such precautions. "Okay, looks like the telescope is safely in position," Bow said, dusting his hands. "But the big question's still here," Rainbow said, hands on hips, turning to Applejack. "Why on earth did we put it there to begin with, AJ?!" "Dashie, do I REALLY gotta spell it out for you? Me? The filly who couldn't tell ya the written difference between two, too, and to growing up?" Applejack ask as though the answer was so obvious and had so many context clues that she really didn't need to just come out and say it. Rainbow Dash just rolled her eyes, "Oh, yeah. I get it. You want to see if you can get a peek at Thunderlane, right? Because he lives next door and sometimes sunbathes in the nude, right? That's what you want to--" "Dashie," her father interrupted, "I think your friend here wants to use your fancy, video recording telescope to spy on that secret father-daughter couple you were telling me about. What were their names again? Stupid Wealthy and Copper Circlet or something?" Rainbow Dash 's eyes widened with surprise and understanding. "Ohhhhh...and because my house is a cloud it probably has a really good...Ohhhhh...I get it now." "Well, right now," Applejack said, fiddling with the controls and settings, "I'm trying to get and see if really does have a really good view of Filthy and Diamond's mansion. If it don't, we're just gonna have to get you to move it somewhere it do." Rainbow Dash huffed, folding her arms. "Yeah, when I get the money for the zoning permits, maybe." "Dash, you're cash! Rich! From being a Wonderbolt!" Applejack said as she experimented with the zoom function and took an experimental recording just to see if it worked properly. "Yeah, and one of the reasons Dash stays cash! Rich! From being Wonderbolt! Is by being the biggest penny pincher this side of your Grannie and not getting into a tussle with Mayor Mare over where my house hovers!" Rainbow Dash threw her hands up. "Also, HELLO! Paper trail! If I have to file out a bunch of forms and some snoop already knows Filthy or Diamond or both are compromised, all they'd have to do to point the finger at me and go snooping is see I suspiciously moved my house in good line of sight of their house during the time Spoiled Rich went off galivanting to some sandbox!" "Okay, okay, calm down, honey," Bow said, patting Dash on the shoulder. "You'll just attract all that attention you just said you didn't want." "Yeah, besides," Applejack began, smirking deviously as she put an eye to the telescope's viewing lens. "If what I'm looking at is right, it's all a moot point anyways." Applejack stepped aside from the telescope and waved Rainbow over to see for herself. Curious, yet still apprehensive, Rainbow put her eye to the lens and saw what Applejack had. A near perfect, frontal view of the Rich estate, including the window for the master bedroom, where all of the incestuous much older father-much younger daughter magic that they knew about happened. "If you press this here dial to the right," Applejack said, doing just that, the telescope focusing in on the master bedroom window so much that Dashie could make out the details of the door leading into the master bedroom. "You get a zoom so crisp and clear you can see the crown molding of the doorframe there like you was right next to it!" "That...that's amazing, AJ!" Rainbow said, fiddling with the dial herself, zooming in and out of various places inside the master bedroom. "And the best part is that if you press this here button to the left," she paused a second to do just that, "you can get a recording lasting up to twelve hours on one SIM card." Rainbow Dash gasped. "Really?! Oh my gosh!" She brought her head back up to look at Applejack, all sorts of excited. "I could point this thing in the right direction, set it to record, leave it for a while, and when I get back I could have so many videos of them!" "That's the idea." Applejack shook her head up and down. "Applejack...this is...this is...cool! Awesome-sauce! Totally fucking great, and exactly the break we were looking for if we can't get Filthy and Diamond out of the house to wire it up with cameras and listening devices!" "Why thank ya kindly, and you're welcome." Applejack tipped her hat. Bow grinned. "Well, something tells me I should drop my more often to see what my number one flyer's managed to catch on her telescope." "I wouldn't recommend that," Applejack said, shaking her head side to side. "Why the hay not?!" Rainbow backed up against her daddy and draped an arm around his neck, fetchingly. "Still jealous you don't have a daddy to run into the big, strong, masculine arms of when you need a good, long, hard tucking in at night, and a big dicki--" "Rainbow!" Bow said before slapping her upside her head hard enough to almost fall over the rails and careen of the balcony. "Ow! Hey! What the fuck, dad?!" He flew up to her and smacked her upside her head again. "No insulting ponies who've lost their father! I may be one of your number one fans and your secret lover, but I raised you better than that, little missy!" As Rainbow glared at him and rubbed her head, Applejack said, "You're dad's a keeper alright, Rainbow. My advice? Cherish him and don't get on his bad side. Also, DO NOT be with him more than usual. I don't think I need to say why." Applejack walked back to the screen door and opened it. "Will do, mam," Rainbow said, giving a mock salute and sneaking in a middle finger which made her dad raise his hand again, causing her to squeak and say, "Sorry!" Turning back a moment, Applejack added, "Also, when you and he are, uh, done with what y'all were doing...I wouldn't mind you setting this thing to record and telling me if you caught our other two daddy-daughter love birds in question in the act by noon tea at Fluttershy's house tomorrow." "I can do that!" Rainbow Dash exclaimed, grinning and bouncing up and down. "This is gonna be great! I can't wait to see what kinda things we'll find out!" "Same!" Applejack closed the screen door behind her and walked off. For a while, Rainbow Dash and her father just stood there on the balcony, waiting to hear the telltale sound of Applejack shutting the front door behind her. Hearing what they thought was it, Rainbow shared a look with Bow, nodded, and went inside, looking up and down to make sure that Applejack was finally gone and that she and her father could finish their tryst with a bang. Finding neither head, hide, nor tail of her former earthpony friend, Rainbow let out a sigh of relief, locked the door once more, and idly strolled back to her room and the balcony just beyond. "Yeah. Looks like she's gone." Opening the sliding door again, she beckoned to her father with a sensual finger and a look that screamed, 'Come hither and fuck my brains out, daddy.' She turned around and shook her hips and tail seductively as she sashayed back into her bedroom. She jumped onto her back onto the bed and assumed the position she'd been in twice before already before being interrupted by Applejack. Bow entered the room, closed the sliding door behind him, and took off his jeans and underwear, not even bothering to remove his shirt this time. Rainbow Dash wasted no time in taking off her own pants but leaving on her jacket because at this point she was too lazy and horny to care. He grabbed her legs and put them over his shoulders again. She looked up at him, her stalliony number one fan and father and fuckbuddy, a sultry grin on her face. "Come on, daddy. Give me what I need. FINALLY!" He grinned back and thrust into her, hard and fast, bending his neck down to bite down on the scruff of her neck, his breath hot on her clavicle as she arched her back and moaned. He reached down with both hands and cupped her breast through her jacket, rolling her nipples between his fingers as he pounded into her. Rainbow Dash's hips rose to meet his thrusts, her muscles clenching and releasing around him in perfect rhythm. "That's it, baby," he groaned, "let Daddy take care of you." She bucked her hips harder, her nails scratching against the mattress as she felt the familiar wave of pleasure washing over her. "You feel so good," he gasped, "so tight and wet." His movements became more desperate, more urgent as he neared his own release. "I love you, Rainbow Dash," he whispered, his voice thick with desire. "I love you so much. I want you. Need you. With my ring around your finger. Your belly full of those triplets you want so bad! My triplets! Your triplets! Our triplets!" The words sent a shiver down her spine, and she arched her back even further, her hips meeting his thrusts with ferocious need. "Yeah," she moaned, her voice barely above a whisper. "Yeah, that's what I want." She could feel her own orgasm building, the tightening in her core, the tingling in her limbs. "Give them to me, Daddy. Give me your babies." Of course, sadly, he couldn't really. Not yet anyways. Not until society bent the knee for all the time she had to bend the knee for society. Not until the love her and her daddy shared was enshrined into the law of the land. But she could just lay there and imagine. Her daddy could too. Their desires, even if they couldn't yet be totally fulfilled, could at least get them to get each other to cum buckets. "I'm gonna cum," they both panted, his thrusts becoming more urgent. "On my face! On my face! I wanna feel your love all over my head, daddy!" she yelled out urgently. He smiled down at her as his thrusts became rougher, harder. "You got it, baby." Soon, Rainbow cried in release, squirting at the pace of a sprinkler but with the volume of the average garden hose all over her daddy's slick daddy dick. "Ahhhhh!" she cried out in ecstasy. "Oh fuck!" he growled, feeling his own orgasm tear through him. With a hoarse cry, he pulled out and shot his seed all over her face, covering it up with his thick, creamy, gelatinous love, his desire, his need for her. She felt his hot seed splash against her cheeks, her lips, her eyes, her nose, her forehead. She gasped and arched her back, reveling in the sensation of being so completely surrounded in her daddy's essence as her own juices continued to spray out of her. "I want more!" she moaned, reaching up to wipe some of it off her face and smearing it across her fur and skin at lower points of her body, "give me all of it!" "Ahhhhh!" her dad yelled, jacking himself off to keep the baby gravy train rolling. "I will, Dashie! I will!" A fist knocking on the door. A startled yelp from her and her father. A kick to her father that sent crashing somewhere painfully in her room, this time her nightstand. The difference this time, though, was that her and her father had finally found sexual release. And they still were in that stage where they would not stop cumming. And they would not stop cumming. And they would not stop cumming. Rainbow was fed up with the rules and hit the ground running. As her father groaned out in pleasure and pain behind her, Rainbow herself could hardly stand still, squirting a stream down her legs as she made for the front door. Yet finally, squirming as she did her best to stay in place and not moan as she wanted to, there she was. She made to unlock the door, but somehow in her still coitusing haze, figured it was best to use the peephole to see who was on the other side even if it wasn't who she thought it was. Her hand shook violently as she looked through the eyehole, the world spinning and her heart racing. And there, on the other side of her front door, was exactly who she thought it was. Applejack. Hands on her skirt, fidgeting in place uncontrollably. The pleasure racking her system was quickly lessened by an adrenal spike of rage. Rainbow Dash seriously considered not even dignifying her friend’s third unwanted intrusion in a row by opening the door and talking briefly with her, but figured she owed the former earthpony that much at least after sharing her whole telescope idea with her. With a growl of annoyance that seemed to come from her very core, she unlocked the door and yanked it open, revealing her cum covered and soaked face to the outside air as little as she could. "What do you want NOW, Applejack?!" she snarled through gritted teeth, her fury making her voice quiver and crack like lightning. "Beg your pardon, but can I just use the little girl's room a sec? I think I drank a little too much cider earlier and I don't think I can hold till--" "NO!" Rainbow Dash said, slamming the door in Applejack's face. "Go home, AJ!" Doing the potty dance even faster, Applejack had only one thing to say as she heard her former pegasus friend storm off from the door on the other side. "Poop." It was actually pee, but she wound up soiling herself on her mad scramble to the nearest loo all the same.