~Note: this takes place in it's own universe completely separate from McInTots or Into A Tizzy~
Isabelle Lisa McIntosh and Taylor Ryan McIntosh
In
Unexpecttraction, Vol. 6
Chapter 11
Adventures In Pissing In Space
by the kzx
It started within the window view as a bluish/greenish dot, growing quickly as the Cruz Vacia made its final hyperspeed approach, having slowed down enough to safely navigate fellow planets in the Irean System. The starfield warp around where the kids sat flattened out to something less strange and a window popped up in the lower left corner showing the front view of the ship, Planet Ireos, somewhat similar to Earth except more greens and whites, growing into a larger and more detailed celestial body. Izzy could feel her limbs start to tremble, numbing with realities crashing into her mind.
She was about to visit an actual alien planet!
She was alone for three days with her closest friends!
She was about to learn the truth about her and Tay!
Becky pulled out a device Izzy saw her use on the shuttle earlier. It wasn’t her phone; Becky’s phone was white with blue stars on across the back. This thing was all black and Becky held it longways, despite having seen Becky hold her phone that way before. There was something different about this time. It had a cover that unfolded, slid back, refolded behind it and all within a fraction of a second. It didn’t seem to glare, having something like a matte surface all over.
Izzy felt Tay move, lifting her head right away. He was still looking at the starfield, but his words indicated a reflective contemplation. “We’re really doing this, huh?” he said. Izzy squeezed his arm.
“Yep.”
Becky’s motions were interrupted by Jules seeming to bug the raccoon. Maybe there was a ‘stop it!’ said, but Izzy wasn’t sure. A sound chimed and Becky got up from the rail seat, approaching the twins with Jules in tow. “Okay, we’re approaching Delphic space, and once we’re well within Delphic space, we’ll be safer and not have to be so anonymous and the message I set up to be sent will be sent.” She said.
“A message to who?” Izzy asked. Becky continued.
“Ms Sylvia, well, her name is Nel, but I used to call her Ms Sylvia. She’s my mediator on Ireos, kind of like a… personal assistant slash agent.”
“Oh, wow, you really are like a celebrity there, huh?” Izzy asked with excitement. Becky nodded, smiling.
“Well, everywhere but Earth, really. Come on, let’s go.” Becky said, moving toward the entrance back to the main lobby area.
“Where’re we going now?” Izzy asked, being, she figured, the only one to ask questions, or at least ones that weren’t a waste of Becky’s time. Tay would only ask dumb questions, though Izzy still loved him dearly, and Jules had already been to Ireos, though likely never with Becky, so her usual method, with Rex, was probably less careful and formal than Becky’s.
“There are some high ranking Irean officials on board that could escort us down to the planet; we just gotta find ‘em.” Becky said, looking around.
“Maybe Ms Selon knows them.” Izzy said. Becky half shrugged, her gaze sticking to a red hallway entrance with gold lettering.
“She does.”
The group followed Becky into the red entryway, which gave way to white walls and a black ceiling with a weird glow to it. The floor was red carpet, then black tile, then red carpet, repeating. It opened to a room, not nearly as large as the lobby, but still big with high ceilings and chandeliers. Becky was heading towards the group Ms Selon was talking to before, beings of all shapes and sizes, and all cloaked in vibrantly colored and intricately detailed robes, now that Izzy was close enough to see them clearly. “Ahh,” Becky sighed in a kind of relief at what she saw, “you guys stay close behind me.”
“…on your butt?” Tay whispered, “i don’t like coon butts.”
“tay, just f—get behin—get behind me!” Becky hissed, swatting at the dingo boy.
As Becky got closer, one or two of the elegant looking guests, men and women, looked over with an amusement. “May we help you?” one of them said; Izzy was too afraid to look! She saw Becky sort of look up, being careful.
“Oracleman Fennish,” Becky said, attracting the attention of the entire group of what Izzy braved to see: five figures of different species that weren’t very obvious from afar, “do we know the weather in Cetear today?” Several slight gasps of either surprise or joy were uttered locally. The figure with the most outrageous clothes, long ears and white fur, though not really what Izzy would call a rabbit, turned fully to Becky.
“…the weather should be cold, clear…” he said, “Your Eminence, oh, I mean, pardon me, Lady Rebecca, is that you?” he said, expression of confusion mixed with being star-struck. Becky removed her hood and smiled.
“Hello!” The group of figures looked upon Becky with a reverence Izzy would’ve normally seen reserved for treasure or something very special, or something very important.
“Sen Yubi…” izzy heard multiple times followed by a mass motion of paws doing the same signals, like a kind of prayer ritual. No, wait… there were six figures, the large shape behind them all becoming evident as being a person with its huge mechanical hands performing the same motions:
Right hand/paw open and up,
like for the sign language for the letter ‘B,’
but palm facing left, at the chest.
Left hand/paw down and forward,
palm open, like an offering,
apart from the other hand/paw.
“What brings you this way, Lady Rebecca? I assume you are heading to Ireos?” Fennish said, paws clasped before him.
“Yes, and it’s confidential, our visit there; we need escort to the Amorian Temple, please. I’ve already sent a message of our arrival to Sylv—I mean Nel.” Becky said, bowing slightly. Fennish, along with the others smiled and chuckled gentle laughs.
“Lady Rebecca, you need not ask for our escort; it would be a great honor.” He said. Becky shrugged.
“I know, I know, but I’m not without my manners. I don’t like to order people around or expect—”
“Well, I do!” Tay barked, hood already off, stomping forward, “I’m hungry! Gimme a big samwich!” Izzy couldn’t believe what she was witnessing, feeling so embarrassed, and if she had to describe the look on Becky’s face, she would use the word ‘supernova.’ Jules just laughed. Izzy rushed forth.
“T-Tay! That’s so rude! Don’t—”
“Can’t tell me I’m rude! I’m a VIP! I’m hungry! Becky, make them make me a samwich! I’m sure this…” Tay paused, gesturing to the figure in the back of the group, “…big…robotic…robofish could handle some turkey and some goddamn swiss! I was promised a meal!” Embarrassed beyond comprehension, Izzy saw that from within the giant cloak draped over the 6th figure’s body, there was a visible tank of water partially enclosed in a metallic body with robotic arms and legs. Inside the tank, she could see there was an angry dolphin.
“Tay-lor!” Izzy cried, yanking the boy’s hood back before Becky could destroy him, Becky, composing herself, chuckled in a way that was the definition of ‘awkward.’
“I am sooooo so so so sorry; he’s, uh… that’s Tay, he’s—”
“It is ‘okay,’ as you say it on Earth.” Fennish said, smiling in amusement along with the others; even the… aqua… mech… dolphin was smiling again… she guessed… Could she even tell if a dolphin was smiling or not? Fennish looked at Tay. “Arrival of the Sen Yubi, there will be a banquet, I assure you,” turning to Becky, “that is if… the Lady Rebecca would choose to be more discreet?” Becky smiled.
“Yeah, we don’t want anything big or… obvious; was just want confidentiality.” Fennish nodded.
“It will be done, your Greatness.”
There was a gentle tone overhead with a soft, female voice that Izzy imagined coming from the same species as Ms Selon. It repeated three times:
Ireos, Inner System, Clannarad Station
Izzy turned her attention to an ornate window within view. The ship was slowing from hyperspeed. She figured the planet was well in view by now. “We should be on our way then. Come.” Fennish said, leaning in. Becky nodded.
“Lead the way.” She said, pulling out her device again, probably checking a confirmation that the message to Ms Sylvia was indeed sent.
The group of dignitaries broke into a formation around the kids as they walked away, like an automatic protection, though Izzy wondered if Becky actually needed it; were these people powerful as well? The cluster of robed figures and Earth children gathered in a small room that acted as a diagonal elevator to a more blue room, like that first VIP room, but with gold trim in places. Everyone sat down, Izzy sat on a half circle cushiony seat between Becky and Tay, and, judging by the warning signs surrounding a particular door, Izzy guessed this was where they would eventually exit the Cruz Vacia once it docked.
But there was something else, something bigger. It glowed and illuminated most of the dark walls on the other end of the room. Izzy was magnetized by it, eyes unable to tear away once they landed on it. A large window displaying the frontal view of the ship, Planet Ireos in all its glory standing like a beacon of life among the blackness of space. The tiny bluish/greenish dot had become a gigantic ball of white clouds and blue oceans and vast patches of green, continents Izzy didn’t even know the names of! Her tummy flipped, the excitement of not only seeing a new world, but visiting one!
Izzy looked around to find herself the only one paying the amazing giant planetary beauty before them any attention. Jules stood with one of the dignitaries, a tall, handsome wolf/bear looking guy, but they were by the window, not looking out of it, Jules clearly attempting to flirt with the robed figure while he was either annoyed or torn between his desire to smile at the girl or ignore her.
Becky was still working on her device, probably very used to this kind of thing, and Tay, who was distracted by something to his right. Izzy leaned forward to find her brother staring nervously at a plant a few feet from where they sat. It had several long stems, each of which ‘blooming’ at the end with what looked like a small mouth. Izzy felt Tay grip her arm. “Izzeeeee…” he whined. Izzy reached over to hold Tay’s paw. Becky leaned forward and smiled, leaning back.
“It thinks you’re cute.” She said, chuckling. Izzy let out a giggle, too, hugging Tay.
“It has good taste.” She said.
“I gotta piss.” Tay blurted out, disrupting the moment. He shot up, “Where’s the loo?” Becky held her paw out.
“Hold up, Tay, you might get… unbelievably confused by the ‘facilities’ away from Eart—”
“Hey! I’m not stupid!” Tay yelled. Becky calmed Tay with motions and unintelligible words as she clearly contemplated Tay’s statement and its, even Izzy had to admit, falsehood. The coon girl shook it off.
“No, Tay, think about it; you’re not on Earth. There are many different life forms out here that have very different distinct methods for dispensing waste and—”
“Talk English, bitch! I gotta go!” Tay attempted to move, blocked by Becky, angry.
“Tay, you don’t even know where a bathroom is!”
“I have a nose for loos!”
“…okay, kinda gross, but you won’t know what to do in there!” Becky’s words had a direct effect on Tay’s expression of anger.
“I KNOW HOW TO PIS—”
“No, I mean there’s more genders, sexes and genital types in the galaxy than you can possibly imagine! Just about everyone is accommodated in there, including you, and—” Becky grabbed Tay’s tail as he darted away, yanking him back, “—and so we don’t want you getting your paw or tail or…” she pointed at Tay’s crotch, “…junk stuck in some mechanical device not meant for you! I—” Becky paused, looking at Izzy then Jules and sighed, “We’ll all have to go together, actually.” Izzy blushed.
“I don’t need no girls looking and watching me piss!” Tay yelled. By this point, the dignitaries had noticed the conversation.
“Are you in need of anything, Lady?” Fennish asked. Becky smiled big.
“Ahh, not really. We all need a toilet break before the station.” She said. Jules hopped over.
“I don’t need to—”
“ALL of us.” Becky stated boldly, looking directly at the roo girl, who just quietly sauntered over.
“I’ll be back, Mr. Silence—” she said with a sweet voice back at the wolf/bear she’d been talking to, “—I gotta go tinkle, apparently” Izzy got up and joined the group led by Becky to a hall with an X and square symbol above it.
“Say, why’re we all going to the bathroom? I admit I’m curious.” She said.
“I gotta go in to show Tay how to use the facilities and not let him mess things up, but not SHOW him show him, that’s what you’re here for, Iz. And I just don’t trust Jules out there.” Becky explained. Jules made a scoff noise.
“Hey, ‘tall, dark and fuck me’ out there doesn’t hold a candle to you, Becky.” She said. Everyone blushed. Tay just needed to pee.
“Jules… God…” Becky said through gritted teeth. “Everyone, look, if I let Tay go in alone, he’ll either die or get lost or mangled, ejected into space or maybe just gets so frustrated and confused, he runs out of the place, yelling about it being ‘wrong’ or ‘not right’ and falling on his face, just like how we first met.” Becky said. Tay looked puzzled and thoughtful.
“So,” he started, “if I get stuck in some space penis machine, it’ll turn time backwards—”
“…no…”
“—and make it to where we never met—”
“No…”
“—so this whole space trip never happens and we don’t end up glued together or whatever—”
“NO!! Just—” Becky took a breath, “Follow me…” The group entered the single door that was there; no other door for, say, another sex.
“Wh-where’s the other door? The other… bathroom?” Izzy asked. Inside the ‘facility’ were several stalls, sinks, open tubs like what equines and bovines would drink from, (Izzy shivered,) and other wall or floor mounted devices.
“Out here, separation of things like sex or gender is kind of pointless. Male and female restrooms is mainly an Earth thing.” Becky led the group to a large stall, inside which was a raised central platform, some tubes coming up from the floor and straps hanging down. “Okay, Tay, I believe you sit here… and pee into one of these tubes, okay?” Tay looked at the devices and back at Becky, shrugging.
“Okay.” He said. The girls stared speechless at each other as Tay walked forward, starting to undo his pants.
“Hey! Tay, no! Hold on!” Becky barked, inching back toward the stall door, “Don’t go yet! We’re still in here!” Tay looked back with wide eyes. Jules smiled.
“Well, can I watch?”
“NO!” Becky and Izzy seemed to yell simultaneously, dragging Jules out of the stall. “Iz, just make sure he doesn’t… I dunno, get his dick caught or mangled or something… Oh, and there is no need to flush with the tubes. We’ll be waiting out here.”
Izzy closed and locked the stall door, motioning for Tay to go ahead. In a flash, Tay had his dick out, though mostly just sheath with a tiny bit of pink poking out. Izzy watching with a strange amusement as her brother grabbed one of the tubes with arrows going into its ‘mouth,’ bringing it to his hips, almost humping it, fidgeting down below and finally both paws were hugging the thing. Tay’s eyes looked up and around, then he smiled. “Heh, this thing feels cool…” he said, sighing as a sign to Izzy that he was peeing. She blushed, watching a scene that looked like a thin robot was giving her brother a blow job. She shuffled her feet, feeling a pressure tinge in her hips. no… don’t get turned on by Tay peeing!
Outside, Becky continued doing whatever she was doing on the black device as Jules closed in. “So, whatcha doin’, hmm?” she asked, rising end inflection.
“Checking weather and other things on our area of Ireos.” Becky responded. Jules’ eyes went to Becky’s tightly-pressed thighs.
“I gotta go.” She said. Becky looked at her.
“What? Go pee?”
“Yeah!”
“Then go; we don’t have a ton of time left ‘til we’re at the station.” Jules pulled Becky’s arm.
“Come with, show me how.” She said.
“No, you’ll be okay.”
“Becky, c’mon, what if I get my dick mangled in a weird pee machine?”
“Jules—”
“Pleeeease?” the roo whined. Becky broke from her device and looked at Jules.
“Fine.” The two girls crammed into a much smaller stall as it was suddenly apparent the one Tay and Izzy were in was the only really big stall. Door closed, locked, Jules’ eyes right before Becky’s.
“Okay, so, how do ya pee in here?” Jules asked.
“You sit and pee there.” Becky said, pointing at another seat, but with a hold, kind of resembling and toilet on Earth.
“Oh…” Jules said with disappointment, “that’s it?” Becky nodded. “Ahh, well,” Jules sighed, lifting her skirt and dropping her panties, sitting, “at least it’s not weird.” Becky, blushing hard, looked away as Jules’ tinkling could easily be heard.
“Yeah…” Becky said, “not weird at all…”
“I don’t need ta sit frickin’ anywhere!” Tay said, smug with his eyes closed.
“Well, I guess not, but Becky isn’t a boy, so how would she know?” Izzy said.
“Feh,” Tay scoffed, “raccoons and girls; what a dumb compy nation.”
“Combination.” Izzy corrected.
“Huh?”
“Nothing…” Izzy murmured. Tay grunted, looking down.
“Is that it?” he asked, “Do I just..?” he pulled away, small penis still showing a peek of pink. He put it away, moving the tube from him. “How do ya flush?” he said.
“Becky said you don’t—” Izzy started, but Tay was already pushing random buttons, “Tay—!” A device came down, clamped down on Tay’s nose and wouldn’t let go.
“AHH! AHH! IZZEEE! HELP! HELP!” Tay cried, arms flailing. Both twins began to panic and a sharp… something was coming out of the clamp toward Tay’s nose like a syringe!
“BECKY! HELP!” both twins yelled.
Having finished, Jules looked for toilet paper. “How do I wipe?” she asked.
“You push this.” Becky said, pushing a pink button, just as Jules reached for it, but stopped short. Something was happening. Something touched. Something wiped. Something dried. Jules giggled, paws up and helpless. “Try not to get turned on by it.” Becky said.
“Nah, nah, it’s just really convenient; no stinky paws!” Jules stood up, freshened and smiling, “Thing that turned me on was imagining you doing that to me.” Becky blushed, angry.
“D-doing what to you?”
“Wiping… drying… freshening my lady…” Jules said. The girls went silent. Becky looked down. Jules watched her look down. Becky looked up at Jules, angrier. Jules looked down. “Oh! Sorry…” she said, pulling her panties back up, skirt back down. “Where’s the flush?” Becky reached for another button, but suddenly there was the sound of Tay screaming, then it was Izzy and Tay screaming.
“Oh, fff—” Becky said, hitting the blue button and running out of the stall. Jules watched the space loo flush and left the stall.
Becky lifted the scary clamp thing from Tay’s terrified face after having hit a blank button to cancel whatever in God’s name that device was about to do to Tay’s nose. “Yeah, sorry, that’s for a kind of species that collects its waste in a protruding growth on it’s body, piercing it to drain.” The kids left the stall. “I am so sorry. Toilets are something I didn’t prepare you guys for out here. Luckily, most toilets on Ireos are more Earth-like as the people from Ireos are more like us, well…” Becky chuckled, “I am Irean, so…”
“And I know how you pee.” Jules chimed, smiling. Becky blushed.
“Let’s go.” She said. Izzy felt something, hating to be the one to make such a request, but couldn’t hold it anymore.
“I… guys, I gotta pee…” so crude… she thought. Becky sighed.
“Okay, go use what Tay used; it’ll work for you and be faster.”
“Oh, whaaaat?!” Jules cried, “You can just hump something to pee?!” Becky looked silently at her then back to Izzy.
“When you’re done, don’t look for toilet paper, just push the pink button; hurry.” Izzy shuffled into a stall, closed and locked the door, panties down, straddled a tube like what Tay used and peed. She felt a strange something prod and almost kiss her vagina and with a slight suction it allowed a very easy urination. Done, Izzy pushed pink, felt a prod then wipe and dry. Panties back on, Izzy left the stall and joined her friends.",
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