Tannim Lassos Up Some Dinner.
by tannim
December 26, 2010

	"Damn I'm hungry." Tannim thought to himself.  A glance to the cooler of horrors, that Esme had brought with them camping, mad him turn away in disgust.  "No... I'm not eating another of her salads... or ANY damn green leaves... Ok, maybe broccoli and some cabbage, but no lettuce!"

	Esme and Tosh were asleep, Muriel was away taking a walk, the other campers they took with them were in their own tents.  Just Tannim and Ossec were out and about.  The elderly koala looked plenty happy with the breakfast he'd taken out of the cooler.  A leaf disappeared into his wrinkled muzzle and he smiled at the dragon's expression.

	"If you don't like the food, feel free to hunt something yourself.  There's probably a few wild pigs around here." Ossec picked up another large leaf and munched it. "A big dragon like yourself should be able to handle a simple little pig!"

	Tannim stared at him a moment, then pulled a cowboy hat out from behind him, poked holes in the top for his horns, tossed that hat away and pulled another out to correctly position the holes for his horns, and sat in on his head. "That's actually a good idea... I don't think I can face Esme for another Salad!" The dragon bent down and picked up his scrotum a few feet behind his testicles. "I'll lasso me up some grub!"

	Ossec watched with interest as his young friend tried to tie a slip knot into his own sack, then climbed to his feet and walked over to show him how.  Tannim looked a tad embarrassed at having to have help tying that tricky lasso knot but wasn't about to refuse the help.  The old koala knew his ropes and knots, he had to admit and soon a serviceable knot formed a serviceable masculine lasso between the dragon's legs.

	"Thanks, Ossec.  I really suck at knots."  He took a deep breath, then tried it again. "I'll lasso me up a little piggy for roast beef!"

	"Pork" Came the correction.

	"Right, what'd I say?" Tannim shrugged. "Pork.  Close enough."

	The old koala tried not to laugh while the large wings carried the odd dragon off.  It'd be a story to tell his children later, until then, he'd work on making some with Nasimi.  He slipped into his tent to get to work on that instead of putting it off like a lazy younger man.

	Tannim let his noose hang from his grip loosely.  Hunting for a pig was turning out to be a rather dangerous prospect to do by flight.  They were low creatures and there were a lot of trees just waiting to catch the slack in his scrotal rope.  He flew down past an oak tree, of course he called all the trees oak as he had no idea what they really were, and yelped in pain as he got caught again.

	It was while muttering curses and unwinding his stretched manhood from the tree branches that he heard grunting of a porcine nature.  The fairly ugly noise and, he sniffed and made a face, rather unpleasant scent, made him look down to see a young boar rooting through some mud at the edge of a stream.  He made a triumphant YES arm jerk and another when he saw that he was in a tree at the edge of the forest.  Beyond it, where the pig was moving toward, was open field.

	After hurriedly untangling himself, Tannim followed the pig carefully from the air.  The little animal looked up at him, back to the mud, then up at him again as though trying to make sure what it was seeing. It made a squeal and ran, Tannim dove after it with a broad grin as it took off into the barren, if grassy, field.

	Behind him the flying dragon leveled off and spun his fleshy lasso around over his head.  The loud squeal of the pig grew while loud leathery wings beat the air rapidly from behind.  It dodged left and right, but his hunter followed him easily with a quick banking of wings.

	Tannim swirled the lasso and HEAVED it at the pig, just missing by a good thirteen or so feet.  He hurriedly reeled himself in and tried again.  The pig didn't even notice the first cast, or the second, or the third,  and was nearly to the other side of the field when the seventh throw sent the soft sinewy man rope right on target.

	With a quick jerk of his coin purse, Tannim's noose tugged up snug around the pig's neck.  The little beast squealed as though he'd been stung by a beep in the eye, but no amount of noise or struggling loosened the unusual lasso.  It managed to get up and ran but the hunter simply hovered in the air with his hands on his hips playing the pig like a fish on a line.

	Tannim's pig managed to run another three meters before the noose crushed around it's neck and the slack was fully used up.  He ran over to his dinner before it could struggle any more and grabbed it by its hind legs to take back to camp.  His lasso was still around it's neck when he landed and Ossec looked impressed.

	"My my, I didn't think you'd manage to catch ANYTHING with that... rope of yours." The not quite octogenerian shook his head. "Amazing what you can do with that stretched out sack of yours."

	"It's really handy, I have to admit.  I do wish my aim was better though." He wandered off with his catch in tow.

	Later, Esme came out with a happy four year old running around behind her, and stared at the carcass roasting on a very crude but more or less functional spit.  Fat dripped from the pig's gutted middle to flare in the fire.  Oil glistened on it's unskinned body while the hairs were long since burned off.  Muriel and the others were sitting around talking and watching it cook.

	"Dinner is almost done!" The dragon said happily.

	"Brunch"

	"Right, Brunch, same thing.  Whatever, it's almost done." Tannim poked the thermometer into it's shoulder. "Shoulder says..."

	"Butt."

	"What?" He looked up, confused.

	"That's Pork Butt" Ossec kissed his wife's massive breast while Several giggles and laughs sounded from behind.

	"Works for me, I'll eat it's butt" He looked at a few of those laughing hardest. "and YOU can all kiss my ass!" He looked at the donkey standing despondently tied to a tree nearby. "She's lonely."