Not Truck Nuts, Dragon Balls!
By tannim
March 27, 2011

	"Those really are kind of fun to look at." Tannim said to himself.  "I wonder if they have any different sizes."

	He clicked another link, then another.  Truck Nuts really didn't have much variety of shape or length though.  While he browsed he rolled his own nuts about on the floor with his feet.  He'd wanted to see a long scrotum version of the bronze looking fake testicles.

	Almost all the fun of having such things on the back of a car would be to see them swinging and swaying.  Such a short scrotal length though... they just weren't going to swing well.  The lack of variety in types was another problem.  They only had a pair of bull like testis.

	Tannim leaned down and picked his own nuts off the floor.  His long scrotum trailed down over his left foot and back up to his groin.  Pressing his hand tightly to his balls he forced the skin to outline his jewels very clearly.

	"Why don't they make different types?  Horse scrotes are damn popular and they look completely different than a bull's and even different than a deer's."  He tapped his chin with his nuts, then looked back at the screen. "I wonder how hard it would be to make my own such toys."

	It took only about a five minutes to find out.  Carving or sculpting a realistically full scrotum was a real pain and even if he DID manage to, he didn't have the material or equipment required to make them.  The dragon sighed and sat back down, then stood up and shifted the loose man rope from under his ass better, and sat down again.

	"I suppose I could just make a parody commercial with what I've got." Tannim mused. "Maybe it'll at least encourage them to add a longer bit of length above the balls themselves!"

	After a quick dig through his gear he finally found his video camera. Far from the best, but it would do for what he wanted.  He thought for a bit about how to do the commercial, then drew up a slogan  on a bit of card board.  "Like Truck Nuts? You GOTTA Try DRAGON BALLS!" It didn't fit very well though.  A few variations and cuts, however, and he had the sign written up.  A quick tape job onto a wooden generic rectangle on a pole sign and he had the secondary prop done.

	"And now for the main prop." He laughed and took a long hot shower.  Not only was it relaxing to rub his hands all over his body, it was loosening.  Tannim's already well stretched coin purse. loosened a bit to sag and swing more easily.  He needed that flexibility for the video to show off a good swing and nice soft flesh folds. "There... oh, almost forgot."

	The dragon patiently lathered his hands with the soap and drug them along his scrotum at about his knees.  Rubbing upward a bit and bending over he washed off his slightly stretched and distorted perineum thoroughly.  Knowing that bit of skin would be in the video, Tannim soaped it and his anus above it even better than he'd scrubbed his masculine cord.

	While he was anxious to start, there was always time for a bit of butt fun.  Washing around his ring always put him in the mood to slip in a finger or two.  What better place than a shower for it, anyway.  He paused, then smirked.  A bit of shampoo, always something nontoxic, and he decided to be nasty.

	The dragon squatted in the shower and pressed his testicles, both at once, against his pucker.  They were too slippery to easily hold but with his whole hand pressing behind them, they slowly squished against his ring until they popped in.  He grunted as he immediately popped them back out.

	"Fuck that feels great.  Those normal guys don't know what they're missing."  He popped his testis back in again, his tail staying high and out of the way, and then out and in yet again.

	The water poured on over him, keeping his flesh hot and loose and requiring another application of the shampoo.  Tannim took a deep breath as he let his ass swallow his nuts a bit deeper than before, then clenched hard around them.  All around them his inner walls constricted and slipped and slid over them and over the think skin surrounding his male eggs.

	He tugged firmly at his sack behind himself and enjoyed the pressure of his ring resisting letting them out and, even more so the feeling, he received when they finally did slip free again.  The dragon didn't pay attention to anything else as he again popped them back in.  With the shower water falling he could easily have missed somebody coming in, then thought it odd he'd had that thought.  Odd until a familiar, and feminine, voice called out from behind him.

	"Wow, now that's a view!" Margaret Nolan laughed at him jumping around to face her.  The doctor lifted an eyebrow up at Tannim's exotic flesh connecting to him in two places.  "New trick?"

	"Hardly new, Margaret." He didn't know what else to tell the otter.

	"Well, I had thought to check you a testicular torsion so I let myself in.  With how you acted at the clinic I didn't think you'd mind." She crossed her arms under her breasts. "What ARE you doing?"

	Tannim shrugged, the end of his lengthy coin purse still inside his ass. "I'm just about to make a commercial for a product.  For Truck Nuts to be precise.  Hopefully encouraging them to add a bit of variety to their products in both shape of the nuts offered and..." The dragon wrapped a foot around his scrotal rope and stretched it out the length of his leg. "the length of the scrotum.  I don't suppose you'd like to help?"

	"That's... different."  Margaret looked at her client, then took a step forward to yank his sack out of his ass. "I guess I could help with the filming if you need."

	"Sure, that would have been a pain using just my tail." After spending a couple minutes washing his jewels in front of her, he led the way outside to his yard.  "Ok, I'll pose, and you keep the camera on me or whatever looks good."

	Tannim waited until the light turned red before walking out with a hammer and his sign.  Completely nude except for his glasses it was obvious he had nothing to hide.  He didn't look at the camera as he pressed the sign to the ground and hammered it in.  His position hid the text of the sign from the camera but also gave it a very good view of his masculinity  laying along the floor behind him.

	Still standing in front of the sign, Tannim knelt down for the next part.  Taking hold of his exotic sscrotal rope, he made of a show of coiling it around his waist.  After a the first coil another was wrapped around his belly, then again along his chest too. 

	Looking back at the camera, he made sure his chest was mostly visible before continuing.  Another stretch of his sack flesh and he wrapped it around his neck with just a bit f extra slack and length left.  He stopped and lifted his tail so Margaret and the camera focused at his well opened ass instead of what he was doing with his balls.

	Tannim shook his ass to make sure the video showed the base of his scrotum even as he backed up away from the sign.  The otter kept the camera where he wanted it, as far as she could tell, and recorded everything he wanted to show off.  With the delay he tried out different positions for his testicles to hang over his face for the commercial.

	Tightening his scrotal rope allowed for various lengths of spare cord to allow a variety of placements, but at last he found one he really liked for his goal.  With his tail still raised and anus still gaping he flicked a wing to draw the camera and unveiled his sign.  The camera recorded it all, including his normal sized testicles resting with his balls themselves dangling over his right eye from between his horns.

	"Truck Nuts? Try DRAGON BALLS!" Tannim read aloud.  He tilted his head back and forth just enough to make his balls jiggle along his forehead while he pat the sign.  "Just the thing for when you want to add some mythicism to your car or truck!  Hell, hang them from your computer as an amusing toy or swing them in front of your pet cat to drive it wild."

	Tannim stretched his sack further, the scrotal rope narrowing a bit more, as he tugged his balls down to the end of his muzzle.  He kissed them and then stood up to unwrap them and let them fall to the ground.  Ignoring Margaret's sarcastic snort, he walked away from the camera with his nuts still laying where he'd dropped them.

	"Don't pass this offer by." He walked forward a bit letting them drag behind him. "It'll always be trailing behind you in the back of your mind." The dragon glanced back, to the camera. "Just like a good pair of dragon balls should."

	"Man that was an awful commercial." Margaret said as she stopped recording.  "You really get into this, don't you?"

	"Of course.  It's a lot of fun." He walked back to pick his nuts up and tossed them over his shoulder. "Now a bit of editing and lets send this bastard in."

	"Think it'll work?" The otter handed him the camera.

	"No, but it couldn't hurt to try." He plugged it in and set to work.

	A few weeks later he tried to connect to their site to check up on it only to find they'd banned his IP address. Emailing them brought a cease and desist from contacting them as well as a call from their lawyer.  Tannim laughed and kept nagging them until they were humiliated in court by having to defend themselves, and their product, from his suggestion video by playing it publicly.  They closed a few days later after he won the right to visit their site.


	"Another win for my Dragon Balls! Heh, now... which novelty shop do I try to sell them to next?"