Doofin' Off in Public
by tannim
June 06, 2011

	"Ah, there you are, Agent P.  Yeah, Doofenshmirtz up to something. Blah blah, same as always. Something about renting a lot of waste dumpsters or something. I dunno, I wasn't paying attention at the meeting today.  I got my pubic hair caught in my zipper and... oh, did I leave the mic on again?"

	"Well, you WERE talking to him, sir.  Oh, he's already on his way."

	"Good. I'll be in the bathroom, you have no idea how uncomfortable this is."

	Doofenshmirtz dug around in his old failures pile.  There were just SO many.  He was almost out of room and his Ex wouldn't let him use their shared storage garage anymore.  Recycling all of them would be such a pain he'd just let the dump do it for him, even if those waste dumpsters DID cost a fortune to rent.

	"Hey, my old De-Volition-izer.  I still don't understand how this thing failed.  It worked, then it didn't.  Honestly what went wrong?  Hee hee, I almost made Perry the Platypus eat that wad of used gum..." He shuddered. "So gross!  I should have made him do other gross things.  I could have made him kiss my old nanna's gummy old lips!  Oh, no... NOBODY deserves that.  I'm evil and even I don't want that on anybody." Dr. Doof shrugged.  "I suppose I could try it again, but no, he'd just beat it again.  Heh, beat it... what a funny phrase.  Used to refer to something really dirty where I came from." Another glance at the helmet. "Hey, I bet that would be humiliating and maybe even get him fired!"

	Perry snuck up to the door and set his decoy dummy.  When he was out of range he had it knock for him then dove through a window instead.  It was, as usual, empty.  Dr. Doof was probably elsewhere.  The obvious chair and table were, familiar, but he shrugged and wandered over to them.  The sooner he got that out of the way the sooner he'd be told what was going on again.  His enemy was predictable if nothing else.

	As he sat down he hoped it didn't have anything to do with ketchup.  Something thunked onto his head and he sighed in relief.  Good, nothing food related.  The head gear felt familiar though.  When he saw  Doofenshmirtz, and what he was holding though, that relief turned to annoyance.  Surely the human wouldn't try the same trick twice!

	Dr. Doof pressed a button and Perry's body went rigid, twice indeed. "Hello, Perry the Platypus!  I know you liked my De-volition-izer last time!  You remember? When I mode you almost eat that gum and push me around in that snazzy shopping cart that YOU stole?" He sat down opposite Perry at the table. "Well, I found again while I was throwing away a lot of my previous inventions.  You have no idea how much space some of those take up. I mean honestly, why did I have to build some of those so BIG?!  I should have KNOWN they'd be hard to store."

	Agent P waited as patiently as anyone who'd lost control of their bodies could.  The random nonsense would give way to what was really happening sooner or later.  He really wasn't looking forward to fighting the mind control helmet again.  Even less since in theory the professor would have enhanced it in some way.  A brief strain to move his feet only produced a silly expression on his face.

	"Ah, yes, Perry. Struggle all you like.  I have IMPROVED the design!  Now it has a strap!" He leaned over and tucked it around the platypus's bill. "So no more accidental knocking it off THIS time!" He paused. "Wait, that's not how you beat me last time... how did... OH, right. The battery.  Ummm... hmmm... OH I know, I'll take the spare remote with me!  This time though, I may not need it anyway.  I know JUST what I want you to do! MUAHAHA... How's that evil laugh? Is it good? I hope so, because I'm not doing it again.  It hurts your throat you know.  Ok now, Perry, let's go for a walk."

	Agent P waddled out ahead of his captor and nemesis.  He didn't know what the man was going to do the streets were crowded, there was a news team nearby for a little league game, and Dr. D seemed entirely too smug.  His body felt so weird with no control.  It felt even weirder when he heard a button click and felt the De-volition-izer kick up the control.

	"Have FUN Perry the Platypus. I'll be watching from across the street.  Don't worry... you'll enjoy this too!" Doofenshmirtz laughed as he hurried away.

	Perry found himself walking up to a fruit stand with an odd, and rather enjoyable, stirring between his legs.  It was a moment to climb to the top and then he made his cute chirrup sound.  Several people looked over to him just in time to see his hand rub over his chest as though circling the nipples he didn't have.

	There were laughs, to the humans it just looked a bit like expressing hunger.  That didn't last long when they saw him flashing his pink at them between his legs.  Perry turned his bill to look at one man before his hand rubbed lower along his belly to just touch a single finger to his peaking moist cock tip.  He chirruped again, slower and with more tone to it for suggestion.

	"What is that platypus DOING?" "I don't know... and why did it shift that loose banana between it's legs like... THAT?" "Why worry about that banana?  What about the pink one?" "That's disgusting!" "Why's he looking as us like that?" "Whoa, Cool.  It's like the monkeys at the zoo, mom!"

	The platypus couldn't shut out the reactions.  Everybody hated seeing his hand an his slowly swelling penis, but not a single one of them looked away.  He was glad that the news team hadn't noticed yet, even more so when Dr. Doofenshmirtz made him lift his legs and rub just behind his balls instead.  His anus was fully visible to them along with everything else that humans weren't meant to be at all interested in.

	The professor wasn't lying when he said Perry would enjoy it, too, he just wasn't telling the whole truth.  It was far more humiliating than it was enjoyable.  So many strangers watched his fingers circling his tight pucker.  So many strangers watched his penis stiffening to a full three inches.  Just so many strangers!

	Had it been a lover, he wouldn't have been at all ashamed to display himself so.  Even the pompous leer he could feel his beak twitched into wouldn't have been at all bad.  Instead, he squeezed his full dick with his free hand and spread his ass with two fingers and nodded at a fat guy wearing a Sam and Max T-shirt as though he wanted him.

	Perry tried to see  Doofenshmirtz in the crowd but gave up when he was made to bend forward and lick his own chest fur with long slow strokes.  His hand, however, moved much faster while working his cute platypus dick.  Pleasure built steadily, even pushing away some of the embarrassment, until he looked up to try to find his nemesis again, right into the TV camera focused directly on him.

	His hand pumped furiously over his cock to give them a good show and Perry shook his head 
no when Dr. Doof made him thrust his hips lewdly toward the camera.  The only good thing was that his fingers slid away from his tight ring.  It was good until he grabbed a banana anyway.

	The news anchor walked casually over to him as though not wanting to interrupt and all he could do was push the banana into his beak to slobber on it.  Pre-seed oozed down his erection when he had to let go of it and suddenly he wanted to keep going.  He'd just felt the first stirrings of orgasmic pleasure only to be forced to concentrate on something worse, taking the banana out of his mouth and again presenting his ass fully.

	Agent P looked around again, trying to find anything to let him NOT press the banana under his cute beaver tail.  The best he found was when the anchorman pressed the microphone to him and asked what he thought he was doing.  His answer left the man and the audience staring.  With a firm thrust, Perry STABBED the banana against his tight ring and winced with pain from the sudden intense stretching.

	"Ooops! SORRY PERRY THE PLATYPUS, I FORGOT YOU NEEDED TO STRETCH FIRST!"  Doofenshmirtz's voice drew only a few glances, then a few snickers as it kept going. "GOOD THING YOU HAVE A LOT TO PRACTICE WITH, ISN"T IT?"

	The platypus pressed his duck bill to the mic to kiss and lick over it lewdly while Doof made him grope around for a new banana.  The mashed first banana was tossed away before again he brought the second up to lick over it.  It too was stabbed against his anal ring and it too deformed under the pressure required to open him up just that bit more.

	"Mr. Platypus, just WHY are you... er... defiling a fruit stand in such an intimate way?" The news anchor gestured behind him. "At a kid's baseball game?  Do you really hate the great American past time so much?  Couldn't you at LEAST do it at a soccer game?"

	Perry rolled his eyes at the man, then clenched them shut as he ground another banana over his needy cocktip.   Doofenshmirtz was teasing him worse, he knew it.  That insane man... was oddly good at making him masturbate with a banana.  The rubbing felt good.  Very good actually.  He rather liked the way the flesh-like fruit peel's subtle bumps rubbed against his glans.

	There was still the humiliation, but his tormenter worked him over so well.  His free hand picked up another banana to replace the well slicked one he'd just coated with his pre.  There was a gasp from the crowd and even a cheer when Perry stuffed it into his butt successfully without deforming it.

	The platypus's eyes bulged in surprise but he didn't know what to think of it.  His attention was still heavily on the one dragging so wonderfully around his shaft.  He couldn't think how  Doofenshmirtz was so good at pleasuring him with a banana of all things but it didn't really seem to matter with how much he was enjoying it.  The fullness in his ass only made it feel even better.  With the taboo and embarrassment of doing it in public, it drove his lust to a new pitch.  If anybody was going to accidentally save him from the mind control helmet again, he wasn't sure if he wanted them to wait or to do it before he came!

	Agent P's chest heaved.  His breath came heavy and ragged.  With Dr. Doof relentlessly making him twisting the banana in deep then JERK it out roughly out with one hand while the other stroked another banana over his cock he was building too quickly toward his peak.  Precum drooled out of his tip while the pleasure built higher.  He let out a chatter of annoying when both hands stopped again.

	His frustration let him look over his shoulder to see his nemesis watching from across the side street.  Doofenshmirtz waved then grinned as he pressed a few more controls.  Perry immediately turned to lewdly lick over the microphone's round tip before pressing his bill to it.

	The camera recorded all of Perry's suggestive sucking and bobbing up and down on it.  It recorded Perry's hands peeling the not quite rip banana and tossing the insides away.  Recorded Perry hunching his hips up into the banana peel while he squeezed it around his stiff dick, then panned away to the stunned expression on their news anchor.

	Agent P was mortified by the little league game letting out.  All the children milled around, laughing at him.  All he could do was grunt and rock while one hand jammed the banana into his ass and the other made him fuck the slick insides of a banana peel.

	He was surprised how good the cool peel felt, and even more so how much he was enjoying having his ass full by a much less ripe banana.  Perry's cheeks were flushed from the situation deep enough to see through his fur.  Panic from the kids showing up made him able to resist the control a bit, but even without being required to do it, he kept pleasuring himself in front of everybody.  It felt too good and he was too far gone to stop after building so high.

	The platypus's whole body responded to his will again, quite suddenly, but other than stopping himself from giving the microphone a blow job, he did nothing with it.  His groin tingled with the blissful pre-orgasmic pleasure.  Sticky pre leaked constantly into the peel with each thrust into it.  His ass steadily crushed and deformed the banana while he stuffed it in more enthusiastically.  Without any more help at all, he was humiliating himself just as well as when the helmet was making him.

	Agent P's body stiffened up just a moment before he came.  Dr. Doof had finally finished switching remotes, but he was too busy watching the lustful semi-aquatic mammal to make him do anything more humiliating.  He was far too busy enjoying the show to think of something new and Perry finally came.

	Perry's bill dropped open.  His hand jerked hard on the banana peer, ripping his cock through it to spray his cum into the air.  Three spurts shot over him along his chest and cheek, but the fourth spattered into the helmet strapped to his head.  His orgasmic high kept him from noticing sparks erupting out of the de-volition-izer for several seconds.

	The rest of his wad sprayed over his belly until it dribbled weakly down into his groin fur.  The platypus lay still for nearly a minute with the hush of the crowd all around him.  He could hear the grunts of indecent activities from several directions as a few of those watching him got their own enjoyment from the show but none so loud as from Dr. Doofenshmirtz.

	That sound, his accented gruntings, finally brought Perry out of his stupor.  It took him another moment to discover he had full control, over his left side, and drag himself off of the bananas.  A quick flop onto the ground and he limped over to his enemy like a bad zombie movie character.

	He spotted the man masturbating furiously in his lab coat, but Dr. D finished before he could get close enough to grab the controller. "Not THIS time Perry the Platypus!  I don't know how you got half your body free, but I still control... oh, wow, do you see how much I came this time? It's like twice what I normally do for a quicky!  Ahem, but I still control the other half!"

	Perry easily parried his own right hand, then again, and again.  His right leg tried to kick him but that just threw his whole body off balance.  With a look behind him he smirked and twisted in time to use another punch from his right arm to propel him back into Doofenshmirtz's cum puddle.  The right leg stepped into it and slipped out from under him.

	His fall propelled his arms back just far enough to let him snatch the controller from his foe's hands before he rolled away.  When he came up, the helmet was off and he was already diving into Dr. Doof.  As usual Heinz Doofenshmirtz was defenseless against a real attack and simply doubled over with one eye wide by twitching.  The helmet had been given back in a very private place.

	Perry gave it back again, instead slamming it onto the man's head.  The platypus climbed onto the criminal's shoulders and made his captive give him a piggy back ride to jail.  He spent an hour of quality time with Dr. Doofenshmirtz.  Watching HIM masturbate was less satisfying than he'd expected.  At least, less satisfying in the petty revenge way.  It was unexpectedly satisfying in the arousing way.

	Heinz's laughter at the sight of Perry sidling away before anybody noticed his erection died a few moments after Agent P left.  Just as soon as the other inmates crowded around him with very friendly expressions on their faces.
