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Online[/center]\n\n\t\"Alvin, you ready?\" Julie called from the living room, sounding impatient.\n\t\"Just about,\" I replied, as I tried and failed for the third time to force my suitcase shut. I glared down at the thing. It was a slick, gray, vinyl American Tourister Expeditioner that was taller than me when standing on end. It lay there on the floor, taunting me with its refusal to close. \n\tJulie Martins came into the bedroom of our Westside apartment to see what the holdup was. She was wearing a white sweater and blue jeans, her short, brown hair styled in a pixie cut. She folded her arms and looked annoyed. \"You put your Nightmunk costume and gear in there, didn't you?\"\n\t\"Of course I did,\" I grunted, climbing on top of the thing to see if an additional seventy pounds of chipmunk would do the trick. It didn't.\n\t\"For pity's sake, Alvin,\" said Julie, exasperated, \"this is a family get-together, not a crime-fighting mission!\"\n\t\"Always best to be prepared,\" I said, as I contemplated using a zip-tie to hold the case shut.\n\tRolling her eyes, Julie came over and put her leather boot down on it, and I finally managed to secure the latch. \"Think it'll stay shut?\" she asked.\n\tI straightened up. \"Well, according to the commercials, an angry gorilla couldn't open one of these things.\"\n\tJulie smirked. \"I'll bet Dr. Silverback could manage it.\"\n\t\"Yeah, but he'd use a laser torch or something.\"\n\tShe crouched down to be eye to eye with me. \"I thought we were taking a break from being superheroes, Alvin. That's why I didn't pack my Nightfox costume or gear. I just want to have a nice, normal weekend and introduce you to my family.\"\n\tI looked into her big brown eyes. \"Funny thing about being a superhero, Julie. Trouble tends to find you, no matter where you go.\"\n\t\"Especially when you look for it,\" she said pointedly.\n\tI put my hand over my heart. \"I promise, I'm not going to go looking for any trouble. What would I find in Grand Rapids, anyway? Purse snatchers?\"\n\t\"It may not be Millennium City, but there's still crime there.\"\n\t\"Let the local cops deal with it,\" I said. \"As of this moment, Nightmunk is officially on vacation.\"\n\tShe smiled and pressed her mouth to my muzzle, my big buck teeth rubbing her lips and my leathery nosepad against her pointed human nose. I chirred happily, putting my arms around her neck, the sleeves of my leather jacket brushing her skin. We stayed like that for a moment, and then our mouths parted and I smiled at her, our noses and foreheads touching. \"I love you, Julie,\" I said.\n\t\"I love you too, Alvin,\" she replied. Then she stood up. \"Come on, we've got a two-and-a-half-hour drive ahead of us, and I'm going to have to do it all, since your feet can't reach the pedals.\"\n\t\"Blame Dr. Moreau for giving me short legs,\" I said, dragging my case into the living room.\n\tJulie grinned. \"I would, but he gave me the rest of you as well.\" She stood aside as I lugged my heavy case out into the hall. Then she closed and locked the door behind us, and we headed downstairs together.\n\n\tJulie and I drove west along I-96 in our rented car, across the monotonously flat, snow-blanketed southern Michigan farm country between Millennium City and Grand Rapids, skirting the state capital of Lansing along the way. Normally, I would use time like this to do research, but I reminded myself I was on vacation, so I spent most of the trip reading a mystery novel on my cell phone. It wasn't very good. I guessed who the killer was halfway through.\n\tI hadn't known until a few days ago that Julie came from a wealthy family. She'd never talked about her past, and I'd never pried into it, though it would have been easy enough for me to do so. I'd actually been rather surprised when she told me, since when I'd first met her she'd been working as a waitress at a bar in Westside, the most run-down section of Millennium City, and living in an apartment building crummy enough to let a poor manimal refugee from Monster Island rent a room there. Her mother had died when Julie was sixteen, and her father had gotten remarried, to a younger woman Julie hadn't gotten along with. So when she'd been old enough, Julie had left Grand Rapids and settled in Millennium City, which had been the city of Detroit until the supervillain Doctor Destroyer had leveled it back in 1992. A year ago, Julie's father and stepmother had gotten divorced, and her former stepmother had married a younger man, who had subsequently suffered some sort of breakdown and was now in an institution. Julie was of the opinion that her former stepmother had driven him mad by fooling around with other men, but given that she apparently detested the woman, I wasn't sure how much stock to put in that. Anyway, it was none of my business.\n\tWe pulled up before a rather daunting mansion in a very posh neighborhood. Grand Rapids is home to some of the richest families in Michigan, and Julie came from one of them. I stared up at the place as we got out of the car, our breaths misting before us. \"This is where you grew up?\" I asked, astonished.\n\tJulie nodded. \"This is the Martins family home, built in 1875. My great-great-great-grandfather made a fortune in the textiles business. He was one of those filthy robber barons. Owned a bunch of sweatshops in Detroit and Chicago.\"\n\t\"Lovely,\" I commented. \"How do you suppose he'd feel about his great-great-great granddaughter sleeping with a chipmunk?\"\n\tShe looked at me and grinned. \"He'd be horrified.\"\n\tI nodded. \"Good.\" We went up the marble stairs together.\n\tJulie rang the bell, and after a minute the big, carved oaken door opened to reveal a large-framed portly man with gray hair and a mustache. He was wearing a velvet smoking jacket, dark trousers, and slippers. I recognized him from a picture Julie had shown me of him. He was Conrad Martins V, her father. His craggy face split in a smile when he saw his daughter, and he held out his arms to her and spoke in a deep baritone voice. \"Julie!\"\n\tJulie smiled back shyly. \"Hello, Daddy.\" They hugged each other.\n\t\"It's so good to see you again after such a long time!\" Martins said, holding her close, a tear running down one cheek. He looked like this meant the world to him. Then he let go of her and looked down at me. I knew Julie had told him what to expect, but I wanted to see his reaction to meeting his daughter's chipmunk boyfriend in person. If he had any reservations, he didn't show them. He smiled and extended his hand to me. \"You're obviously Alvin. Pleased to meet you.\"\n\tI shook his hand. \"Nice to meet you too, Mr. Martins,\" I said.\n\t\"Call me Conrad. Please, come in out of the cold.\" He stepped back to allow us inside, and we entered the foyer.\n\t\"This is quite a place,\" I said, looking up at the high ceilings.\n\t\"Yes, it is rather big, isn't it?\" said Martins. \"Then again, they had big families back then.\"\n\t\"Must be a pain to keep clean,\" I commented. \n\t\"I have a maid come in twice a week. Can I get you both something to drink? Brandy, perhaps?\"\n\t\"That sounds wonderful,\" said Julie.\n\tHe led us into an enormous living room that looked like something out of the Gilded Age, with a grand piano and a fully stocked bar against one wall, and we sat down on a red satin sofa while he poured brandy into two snifters and brought them over to us.\n\t\"How have you been, Daddy?\" Julie asked, sipping her brandy with her legs crossed. I sipped mine as well. It was excellent.\n\t\"Fine, fine,\" he said. \"Health is good, enjoying my solitude.\"\n\tJulie nodded. \"How's Connie?\"\n\tMartins sighed. \"Being an ass, like always.\"\n\t\"Who's Connie?\" I asked.\n\t\"My older brother,\" said Julie. \"I take it he doesn't live here?\" she asked her father.\n\t\"No, he has a place in the city,\" Martins replied.\n\t\"Does he ever visit?\"\n\t\"Only when he needs money.\" He looked at his daughter. \"You know, I've always admired that you never asked me for anything.\"\n\t\"Well, we didn't exactly part on the best of terms,\" said Julie.\n\t\"I know, and I'm sorry about that. I know you and Margot didn't like each other very much.\"\n\tJulie smirked. \"That's putting it lightly!\"\n\t\"I was hoping we could heal some old wounds while you're here,\" said Martins. \"Randall is throwing a party tonight. I'd like you and Alvin to attend.\"\n\t\"Will Margot be there?\" Julie asked, raising an eyebrow.\n\t\"Of course! She's married to his nephew, after all.\" He leaned forward. \"Julie, please, I'd really like to see the two of you patch things up.\"\n\t\"Why? She's not your wife anymore!\"\n\t\"I know, but I still have feelings for her, and I don't like seeing people I care about angry at each other.\"\n\tJulie considered it while I remained silent. I had no intention of getting involved in a family squabble. \"Formal dress?\" she asked, finally.\n\t\"You know how Randall loves to dress up.\"\n\t\"Well, that leaves us out, then. Alvin doesn't have anything to wear.\"\n\t\"Actually,\" said Martins, smiling, \"I took the liberty of ordering a tuxedo in his size.\"\n\tJulie blinked. \"Did you now?\"\n\t\"How did you know my measurements?\" I asked, surprised.\n\t\"You are something of a public figure,\" Martins said to me. \"I had my tailor estimate them from photographs of you.\" He looked back at Julie. \"Please?\"\n\tJulie hesitated, then sighed. \"Oh, all right!\"\n\tMartins smiled. \"Thank you, Julie. The party starts at eight.\"\n\t\"Well, I suppose I'd better start getting ready, then,\" said Julie. She looked over at me. \"If you're okay with this, Alvin.\"\n\tI wasn't big on parties, but I didn't want to stand in the way, so I shrugged and said, \"Why not? Sounds like it might be fun.\"\n\tJulie smirked. \"Fun? With Margot there? Yeah, we'll see about that!\"\n\t\n\tThe last time I'd worn a tuxedo had been on the other-dimensional world of Zoolok, which was populated by animal people like myself. I'd had dinner at an elegant restaurant, danced with a beautiful fox lady, kissed her, and almost gone to bed with her. Superheroes lead weird lives. I watched my reflection in a full-length mirror as I tried to remember what she'd taught me about how to tie a bowtie.\n\t\"All these old dresses,\" said Julie, leafing through them as she stood before the closet trying to pick one.\n\t\"What costume shall the poor girl wear?\" I mused as I messed with my tie.\n\t\"To all tomorrow's parties?\" asked Julie.\n\t\"Hopefully, it won't last that long.\"\n\t\"It will, if I know Randall Morris.\" She turned around, holding up a green sequined dress against herself. \"How's this?\"\n\tI turned and looked at it. \"Well, at least it's not a hand-me-down dress from who knows where.\"\n\tJulie smirked. \"Not on this girl! At least, not in front of Margot.\"\n\tI nodded. \"So, what do I need to know about her?\"\n\tJulie began peeling off her clothes. \"You mean other than the fact that she's an unfaithful, heartless, gold-digging whore?\"\n\t\"Wow! Don't beat around the bush. Say what you really think!\"\n\tShe snickered. \"Nothing I could possibly say could do justice to how evil that woman is. She slept with Connie, you know.\"\n\tI stared at her. \"Her own stepson?\"\n\t\"Yep,\" said Julie. \"I caught them in bed together.\"\n\t\"Does your father know about this?\"\n\t\"Oh, I told him, but they both denied it. Margot claimed I was just saying it because I hated her, which I did. And Dad was so in love with her he refused to believe anything I told him about her. I finally got tired of him always taking her side, so I split.\"\n\tI shook my head. \"Did I just step into an episode of [i]All My Children[/i]?\"\n\t\"Pretty much,\" Julie said, stepping into her dress. \"It's the one where the wayward daughter comes home with her new boyfriend. Who happens to be a chipmunk.\"\n\t\"Do you think your dad approves of me?\" I asked.\n\t\"Dad's pretty open-minded. It's Connie I'm worried about. He's a jerk.\"\n\t\"I kind of gathered that.\"\n\tJulie sighed. \"Even when we were kids, he was lazy and irresponsible. Dad sent him to Harvard to make something of himself, but he flunked out his first year. Broke Dad's heart. Now all he does is party with his friends—some of whom are pretty shady characters—and hit Dad up for money.\"\n\t\"Sounds to me like the best thing your father could do would be to cut him off and force him to grow up,\" I said.\n\tJulie nodded and looked at me, her eyes glistening. \"You know he didn't even come to Mom's funeral?\"\n\tI went over to her, and she knelt down, and we hugged each other as she sobbed on my shoulder. I patted her on the back gently. \"Maybe it's not too late,\" I whispered.\n\t\"You mean because my brother's still alive, and yours aren't?\" Julie asked.\n\t\"I hadn't even considered that, but you're not wrong.\"\n\tJulie let go of me and straightened up, regaining her composure. \"We'll see.\"\n\t\"You ready to go?\" I asked.\n\tJulie nodded and smiled. \"You look really cute in a tux, Alvin.\"\n\tI grinned. \"Thanks. I've never seen you in an evening dress before. Looks nice on you.\"\n\t\"What, this old thing?\" \n\tWe both laughed, she took my hand in hers, and we went downstairs together. Her father was waiting for us in the foyer, also decked out in a tux. He smiled when he saw us. \"You look lovely, Julie!\" he said.\n\tShe smiled back shyly. \"Thanks, Daddy.\"\n\tHe turned his eyes to me. \"And you look like quite the gentleman, Alvin!\"\n\t\"Thank you, sir,\" I replied.\n\t\"Shall we?\" Conrad asked. He helped Julie on with her coat, and we went out into the icy cold night, got in his Mercedes, and drove off.\n\n\tThe Morris house was only a few minutes away and turned out to be another big Victorian mansion. There were about a dozen cars parked in front of it. Clearly, we were not the first to arrive. We got out of the Mercedes and walked up to the door, and Conrad rang the bell as I braced myself for all the stares that I knew were coming. You'd think I'd be used to it by now. Then again, I don't attend a lot of social gatherings.\n\tA butler answered the door. He glanced down at me briefly, though his expression didn't change. I imagined Conrad had called ahead and told them what to expect. The butler greeted us, escorted us inside, and took Julie's coat, and we proceeded from the foyer into the living room.\n\tThe room was crowded with a couple dozen people, the men all wearing tuxedos, the women in expensive-looking dresses. Someone was playing a piano over the dim babble of background conversation, and ice cubes were clinking in glasses beneath a crystal chandelier. A distinguished-looking, middle-aged, balding man with a salt-and-pepper mustache came forward to greet us, smiling. \"Conrad! Glad you could make it!\"\n\t\"Hello, Randall,\" said Conrad, giving him a firm handshake. \"Yes, I managed to make some time in my busy schedule.\"\n\t\"Julie!\" said Randall, grinning at her. \"Nice to see you again! It's been far too long!\" He shook her hand as well. Then he turned to me. \"And we have a bonafide celebrity in our midst! Pleased to meet you, Alvin!\"\n\t\"Nice to meet you too, Mr. Morris,\" I said, shaking his hand and smiling.\n\t\"Come on in and meet everyone!\" said Randall, gesturing at the party guests, all of whom were staring at the furry little freak in a tux. \n\tThen a woman came forward, smiling. She was wearing a white silk dress that rose to a string of pearls around her neck and left her arms bare. She had short, light brown hair, big blue eyes, high cheekbones, and a round face that smiled readily. She didn't appear to be much older than Julie. \"Oh my, aren't you an eye-catcher?\" she said, crouching down with her hands on her knees and looking at me. Then she extended a slender hand that bore several golden rings. \"I'm Margot.\"\n\tI took her bejeweled hand and squeezed it. \"How do you do, Margot? I'm Alvin.\"\n\t\"Oh, I've heard all about you!\" she said, teeth flashing. \"I bet you've heard a lot of terrible things about me. Well, rest assured, they're all true!\" She stood up and looked at Conrad. \"How are you feeling, former husband?\"\n\t\"About a million dollars lighter, since the divorce,\" Conrad replied with a chuckle.\n\t\"Eh, you'll live,\" said Margot. Then she turned to Julie. \"Hello, Julie! Long time, no see!\"\n\tJulie forced a smile, and I could tell she was thinking it hadn't been nearly long enough. \"Hello, Margot.\"\n\t\"You're late,\" said Margot. \"The fun, if any, has begun. Mind if I borrow your boyfriend? I'll introduce him to everyone and blacken characters later, okay?\"\n\tI looked up at Julie, who simply shrugged, and then at Margot. \"Perfect. Let's go.\"\n\tMargot took my arm and led me through the crowd of gawkers to a woman in her forties who had short, curly brown hair and was wearing a blue paisley dress and pearls. \"This is Alice Turkel, Randall's sister and my mother-in-law—the sweetest, finest woman in the whole world. Alice, this is Alvin, the famous crime-fighting manimal from Millennium City, and a real cutie to boot!\"\n\t\"How do you do, Mrs. Turkel?\" I said, bowing to Alice. \n\tShe smiled down at me. \"Hello, Alvin. Honored to meet you.\" \n\t\"I don't deserve her, really, a little siren like me,\" said Margot, grinning at Alice.\n\t\"I believe you,\" I replied, smiling.\n\t\"Oh, don't take Margot seriously,\" said Alice, smiling. \"She'll never grow up. My my, Alvin, you really do look like your namesake, if you don't mind my saying!\"\n\t\"Thank you,\" I said, \"but I'm afraid the credit for that goes to my creator, Dr. Moreau.\"\n\tAlice nodded. \"I understand you're here with Conrad and Julie Martins?\"\n\t\"Yes, they're around . . . somewhere,\" I said, looking for them.\n\tMargot looked around as well, saw someone, and waved. \"Oh, Scotty! Come, come!\" A thin young man with neatly combed brown hair weaved through the crowd to join us. He glanced down at me uncomfortably. \"This is little Scotty Turkel, good brother of my current husband. He wants me to divorce Henry and marry him. With my husband an incompetent, Scotty will inherit the family fortune!\" She sounded delighted at the prospect, while Scotty blushed and squirmed.\n\t\"Oh, Margot,\" Alice admonished her, \"you mustn't say such things, even in fun! Alvin doesn't understand!\"\n\t\"He ought to,\" said Margot, grinning. \"He's a detective!\"\n\t\"A detective,\" Scotty snorted, looking down his nose at me with obvious disdain.\n\t\"I'm also on vacation,\" I added. \"Don't forget that.\"\n\t\"And here's our host, old Father Time himself!\" said Margot, as Randall, Conrad, and Julie came over to join us.\n\t\"Enjoying yourself, Alvin?\" Randall asked.\n\t\"It's . . . very interesting,\" I replied, as politely as I could.\n\t\"There they are, darling,\" Margot said to me with cheerful malice in her voice, \"all my main admirers, all under one tent. The naughty elephant, the big bad wolf, and the innocent little lamb,\" indicating Conrad, Randall, and Scotty in turn.\n\tJulie shook her head and looked at her father apologetically. \"I'm sorry, Dad. I can't do this.\" She glared at Margot. \"Margot, you're a bitch. You've always been a bitch, and you always will be a bitch!\" And with that, she turned and strode away.\n\t\"Julie!\" Conrad called after her.\n\t\"Oh, let her go, darling,\" said Margot, sounding bored. \"She never did have any appetite for fun.\"\n\t\"Excuse me,\" I said, and ran off after Julie.\n\tI found her sitting in front of the piano. Whoever had been playing it earlier had apparently gone off to join the party. I climbed up onto the bench next to her, and she looked down at me. \"I knew this was a bad idea,\" she said.\n\tI nodded. \"I didn't want to say anything, because it seemed so important to your father. He even bought me a tux. But, yeah, now that I'm here, I agree.\"\n\tJulie sighed. \"Margot hasn't changed a bit. If anything, she's gotten worse. She's like a reverse King Midas. Everything she touches turns to crap.\" She looked at me. \"You know, I used to be in love with her current husband, Henry.\"\n\t\"The one who went crazy?\" I asked.\n\t\"The one she drove crazy, with all her philandering. He was such a sweet, sensitive boy. I hate to think what she put him through.\"\n\t\"I didn't know you liked the sensitive type,\" I said.\n\t\"I liked Henry. He was so gentle and kind.\"\n\tI smirked. \"Not at all like the tough, mean chipmunk you're with now.\"\n\tJulie smiled at me. \"You can be gentle and kind, Alvin. Sometimes.\" Then she sighed. \"And now Randall tells me she's after Henry's brother, Scotty.\"\n\t\"So I heard. From what I saw of Scotty, it looks like they deserve each other.\"\n\t\"Well, Scotty always was kind of a jerk.\"\n\t\"He certainly doesn't seem to care much for manimals.\"\n\t\"Considering he has the hots for Margot, that pretty much says all that needs to be said about his taste and judgment. I bet they're already sleeping together.\"\n\t\"And what does being with me say about yours?\" I asked.\n\tJulie grinned. \"That I have funny taste in men.\"\n\tI chuckled, placed my fingers on the piano keys, and started playing \"My Funny Valentine.\"\n\tJulie blinked in surprise. \"I didn't know you could play piano!\"\n\t\"Dr. Moreau created me and my brothers to entertain him,\" I said as I continued playing. \"We each had to learn to play several musical instruments. I can also play guitar, banjo, and violin.\" I frowned down at the keys. \"The problem with this song is, Rodgers and Hart didn't write it for someone with only eight fingers.\"\n\tJulie shrugged. \"Sounds fine to me.\"\n\t\"Thanks,\" I replied. Then I started singing the lyrics—softly, because it's that kind of song:\n\n\t[i]My funny valentine\n\tSweet comic valentine\n\tYou make me smile with my heart\n\tYour looks are laughable\n\tUnphotographable\n\tYet you're my favorite work of art\n\tIs your figure less than Greek?\n\tIs your mouth a little weak?\n\tWhen you open it to speak\n\tAre you smart?\n\tBut don't change a hair for me\n\tNot if you care for me\n\tStay, little valentine, stay\n\tEach day is Valentine's Day[/i]\n\n\tA group of party guests had gathered around to listen, and they applauded when I finished. I thanked them, smiling and blushing beneath my fur. It was nice to be appreciated for the thing I was made to do. Then I felt Julie squeeze my hand. \"The Wicked Witch of the Mid-West is back,\" she whispered. \n\tI turned toward Margot as she came over to join us. \"Giving a little concert, are we, darling?\" she asked me, smiling.\n\tI nodded. \"Yeah, in this tux and this setting, I feel like George Gershwin.\"\n\t\"Play 'Anything Goes,'\" said one of the guests, laughing.\n\t\"That's Cole Porter,\" I replied.\n\t\"Well, if you're taking requests,\" said Margot, \"I have one for you.\"\n\t\"Sure, what is it?\" I asked.\n\t\"Could we talk in private?\" \n\tI looked up at Julie, who was pointedly ignoring her former stepmother. She didn't give me a sign either way, so I hopped down off the piano bench and let Margot lead me to the foyer. \n\t\"I'm meeting someone in the driveway who I want to get rid of as quickly as I can,\" said Margot once we were alone. \"If I'm not back in a moment or two, come and look for me.\"\n\tI chuckled. \"And rescue the fair maiden in distress?\"\n\t\"I'm not kidding,\" said Margot. Her practiced insouciance was gone now, and the concern on her face appeared genuine.\n\t\"All right,\" I said.\n\t\"Thanks, darling,\" said Margot, relieved. \"You're a real hero.\" She bent down and kissed my furry cheek, then threw a fur wrap over her bare shoulders, opened the door, and went outside into the freezing night air as I stood in the foyer, watching. \n\tThere was a car in the driveway, and a tall blond man standing beside it. He didn't look especially happy. Margot went up to him, and they started talking. I couldn't make out what they were saying, but it didn't appear to be an amicable conversation. This was confirmed a moment later when the man seized her by the neck with both hands. I ran down the steps and leaped at him, socking him in the jaw. He let go of Margot and fell against the car, slumping to the ground.\n\t\"Thanks,\" Margot said, breathing heavily and clutching her disheveled dress against her bosom.\n\t\"Well,\" I said, \"now that the fair maiden in distress has been rescued, what do we play next?\"\n\t\"Let's play hide and seek,\" said Margot, still clutching her dress. \"Hide your eyes, darling.\"\n\tI turned around so she could fix her dress in privacy.\n\t\"You can look now,\" said Margot. I turned back around to face her. Her dress was fixed, and the man's coat was open. Before, it had been closed. \"The gentleman you see below is none other than my former stepson and your girlfriend's ne'er-do-well brother, Connie Martins. He's partners in a nightclub in Grand Rapids that enjoys a very evil reputation. We must go sometime.\"\n\t\"Thanks,\" I said, \"but—\"\n\t\"No, none of that,\" said Margot. \"I never take 'no' for an answer, darling—especially from men.\"\n\tI smirked. \"You probably don't hear it very often.\"\n\tConnie groaned and rubbed his jaw. He opened his eyes, and they widened when he saw me. \"What the hell is that?\" he asked.\n\t\"Pardon me,\" said Margot. \"Alvin, allow me to introduce Mr. Conrad Martins VI. Connie, Alvin.\"\n\t\"Hello, Mr. Martins,\" I said, smiling at him.\n\tConnie got to his feet, glaring at me. \"Did this little freak hit me?\"\n\t\"Alvin is also the famous superhero Nightmunk from Millennium City,\" said Margot, clearly enjoying herself.\n\tConnie whirled on her in alarm. \"Superhero? Why, you double-crossing, two-timing—\"\n\t\"Two-timing?\" asked Margot. \"Connie, you don't know the half of it!\"\n\t\"You haven't been shooting your mouth off, have you?\" Connie demanded.\n\t\"No, not yet,\" Margot replied. \"Well, goodbye, Connie. You're leaving.\"\n\t\"All right,\" Connie growled, \"but I'll be back, and when I do, I'll get what I came for!\" He got in his car, slammed the door, and drove away.\n\t\"He was fun,\" I commented.\n\tMargot laughed. \"Imagine how much more fun he would have been if he knew you were dating his sister!\"\n\tI nodded. \"Shall we rejoin the party?\"\n\tMargot took my hand in hers, and we went back inside.\n\tThe party was still going full steam as Margot and I made our way into the living room. I looked around for Julie, but I didn't see her. Perhaps she was powdering her nose. Conrad, Alice, Scotty, Randall, and several other people were standing around a table, holding drinks and talking. I realized as we approached that the topic of conversation was me and Julie. We both paused a moment to eavesdrop.\n\t\"So, you actually approve of your daughter dating that . . . creature?\" Scotty asked Conrad, sounding repulsed by the idea.\n\t\"Whether I approve or not doesn't matter,\" said Conrad. \"Julie's a big girl. She can decide for herself what she wants . . . and who she wants. She always has before.\"\n\t\"Couldn't you threaten to cut her off?\" Scotty asked.\n\tConrad shook his head. \"Julie hasn't taken a cent from me in five years.\"\n\t\"I hear he's a respected member of Millennium City's superhero community,\" said Alice.\n\tScotty sniffed. \"Freaks, all of them!\"\n\tRandall grinned at his nephew. \"Let's hear you say that the next time some supervillain goes on a rampage. Anyway, what's it to you? As long as they're happy together, where's the harm?\"\n\t\"I just think it's disgusting,\" said Scotty. \"He's not even human!\"\n\t\"I think it's rather sweet,\" said Alice. \"And human or not, Alvin seems nice enough.\" Then she noticed me and Margot. \"Ah, there you are! You're just in time for some of Conrad's famous rum coffee. I saved some for you. I was afraid it'd all be gone by the time you got back.\" She handed glasses of hot, dark liquid to me and Margot.\n\t\"Thanks, Alice, dear,\" said Margot, sipping her drink.\n\t\"How do you like it, Margot?\" Conrad asked.\n\t\"It's perfect!\" Margot replied, smiling.\n\tI took an experimental sip from my glass and nodded to Conrad. \"Good stuff!\"\n\t\"Thank you!\" said Conrad, looking pleased.\n\t\"Hey, everyone,\" said Margot, \"this stuff ought to change our luck. Let's try the wheel again!\"\n\t\"Good idea!\" said Randall. \"Nobody can lose now!\" They all went over to a miniature roulette table that had been set up in the living room for the party.\n\t\"I'm broke, Conrad,\" said Margot. \"You'll have to stake me again.\"\n\tConrad frowned. \"I want to speak to you, Margot.\" He took her by the arm and led her into an adjoining room. Scotty followed them, apparently intent on overhearing whatever it was Conrad wanted to speak to her about. \n\tAlice watched them go, then turned to me. \"Margot looks worn out, poor child.\"\n\t\"She's had a very exciting evening,\" I said. \"If you'll excuse me.\" I headed off to look for Julie.\n\tShe was in the hallway by herself, looking at her cell phone. She glanced up as I approached. \"There's a blizzard coming,\" she said. \"A big one. Alice was offering to let everyone stay over, rather than drive home in the storm.\"\n\t\"That sounds like a good idea,\" I said. \"Most of them are probably too drunk to drive anyway.\"\n\t\"So, how did you find Margot?\" Julie asked.\n\tI smirked. \"A little too tart for my tastes.\"\n\tShe chuckled. \"What did she want to talk to you about?\"\n\t\"Actually, she just wanted me along as insurance. It was your brother she wanted to talk to.\"\n\tJulie blinked. \"Connie's here?\"\n\t\"He was, for a few minutes. He left after I punched him out when he tried to strangle Margot in the driveway.\"\n\tJulie gasped. \"Connie tried to kill Margot?\"\n\tI nodded. \"She took something off him, but I didn't get a chance to see what it was.\"\n\t\"Alvin, what is going on?\" Julie asked.\n\t\"There's one word that would cause all of this to make sense,\" I replied. \"Blackmail.\"\n\tJulie stared at me. \"You think Connie's blackmailing Margot?\"\n\tI shook my head. \"A blackmailer doesn't try to strangle their victim. I think Margot's blackmailing Connie.\"\n\t\"That doesn't make any sense!\" Julie protested. \"She took dad for a million bucks in the divorce settlement! She doesn't need money!\"\n\tI shrugged. \"You said they used to be lovers. Maybe he did something that pissed her off and she's doing it out of spite. It's happened before.\"\n\t\"Should we call the police?\" Julie asked.\n\t\"And tell them what? We have no proof, and Margot and Connie will just deny everything. Anyway, I'm not sure I care enough to bother.\"\n\tJulie sighed. \"I'm sorry.\"\n\tI raised an eyebrow. \"For what?\"\n\t\"For dragging you into this freakshow that passes for a family!\"\n\tI smiled. \"I don't mind. It's actually kind of refreshing, being around ordinary people with ordinary problems.\"\n\tWe were interrupted as Alice and Margot came down the hall, Conrad just behind. Alice was supporting Margot, who looked half asleep. Margot put her hand on my shoulder and squeezed it, smiling weakly. \"Good night, darling.\"\n\t\"Turning in early?\" I asked. \"It's only ten o'clock.\"\n\t\"Margot's overtaxed herself,\" said Alice, smiling gently at her. \"I'm going to take her upstairs and put her to bed.\" She looked at me, Julie, and Conrad. \"Will you be staying the night? We have plenty of guest rooms, and it's already snowing like crazy outside.\"\n\t\"I think that might be best,\" said Conrad.\n\t\"Very well,\" said Alice. Then she paused, no doubt trying to decide how to phrase the next question delicately. \"Will you be needing two rooms, or three?\"\n\tI didn't much care if these people knew that Julie and I were sleeping together, but I also didn't know if Julie had told her father yet, and I didn't want to embarrass her in front of him by saying it. I looked up at her, letting her answer for us.\n\t\"Alvin and I will only need one room,\" Julie said.\n\tWell, there it was. Now they all knew. Alice just smiled and nodded before helping Margot up the stairs, leaving me and Julie with Conrad.\n\t\"Daddy—\" Julie began, and stopped when Conrad held up his hand.\n\t\"It's your life, Julie,\" he said. \"I've never tried to tell you what to do, and you wouldn't listen anyway.\" Then he smiled. \"But, for what it's worth, I think you could do a lot worse.\"\n\tJulie smiled and threw her arms around her father, hugging him. \"Thank you, daddy!\"\n\tConrad patted his daughter on the back, then looked down at me. \"You look after her.\"\n\tI nodded. \"I will, sir.\"\n\tJulie put a hand atop my head and tousled my hair. \"You know, I think I could turn in myself. It's been a long day.\"\n\t\"You won't get any argument from me,\" I replied, smiling up at her. \n\t\"Well, I hope you don't mind if I go back and rejoin the party,\" said Conrad. \"Sleep well, you two!\" He waved and headed back toward the living room.\n\t\"Good night, daddy!\" Julie said. We turned and went up the stairs to the second floor. \n\tAlice was standing in the hallway, speaking through a door that was open just a crack. \"What's that, dear?\" she asked, then laughed at a reply we couldn't hear. \"Absolutely! Well, sweet dreams!\" She closed the door and turned to face us. \"Poor dear,\" she said. \"She fell asleep the instant her head touched the pillow.\"\n\tI nodded. \"Is there any particular room we should use, Mrs. Turkel?\"\n\t\"Oh, any room on this floor will be fine,\" she replied. \"Are you going to bed?\"\n\tJulie nodded. \"Yes, it was a long drive and we're both pretty tired.\"\n\tAlice smiled. \"Well, sweet dreams to you both, then.\" She walked past us and headed back downstairs. Julie and I picked a room and went inside, closing the door behind us.\n\t\"So,\" I asked, as I began slipping out of my tux, \"how long do you think before everyone downstairs is talking about us?\"\n\t\"I imagine they were already doing that before we got here,\" Julie replied.\n\tI nodded. \"As long as you're cool with it.\"\n\t\"Alvin, I accepted when we became lovers that people were always going to talk about us.\"\n\t\"Yeah, but these are people you know. You should have heard what Scotty was saying.\"\n\t\"To hell with Scotty! He's an asshole! He always was!\"\n\t\"Yeah, I kinda got that.\"\n\tJulie crouched down and took my fuzzy face in her hands, looking into my eyes. \"I love you, Alvin. I'm not ashamed of it, and I don't care what anyone says.\"\n\tI smiled at her. \"You're amazing, Julie.\"\n\tShe smiled back. \"I know. Dibs on the bathroom.\" And she ran past me into the bathroom and closed the door.\n\tI took the rest of my clothes off and climbed into bed, lying there thinking how lucky I was to have someone like her in my life.\n\n\t[i]And what costume shall the poor girl wear\n\tTo all tomorrow's parties\n\tA hand-me-down dress from who knows where\n\tTo all tomorrow's parties\n\tAnd where will she go, and what shall she do\n\tWhen midnight comes around\n\tShe'll turn once more to Sunday's clown\n\tAnd cry behind the door\n\t\t\t\t--The Velvet Underground[/i]\n\n\tI awoke to the sound of gunshots. I sat bolt upright and glanced at the small digital clock on the nightstand. It was just after two in the morning. Then I realized that Julie wasn't in bed with me. That was odd. I hopped out of bed, pulled on my trousers, and ran out into the hall and down the stairs. Party guests were running toward the front door, which was open. I joined them.\n\tIt was snowing heavily outside, and a crowd of people were gathered in the front yard. I could see Randall, Alice, Scotty, and the butler among them. The butler was holding a revolver, his face ashen. Scotty had his arms around his mother, who was clutching her fists to her face. Randall was crouching over someone lying in the snow and shouting into his cell phone, \"Send an ambulance to 3295 Kirkshire immediately! Someone's been shot!\"\n\t\"How did he get away from that place?\" Alice moaned. \"Why did he come here?\"\n\t\"What happened?\" I asked, crouching beside the prone figure. It was a young man wearing a robe, pajamas, and slippers, with a large red stain spreading across his chest. I didn't recognize him from the party, but then I hadn't been paying much attention to the guests.\n\t\"This fool here shot my brother!\" said Scotty, glaring at the butler.\n\t\"He was on the roof, sir!\" the butler protested. \"I thought he was a burglar!\"\n\t\"Will he be all right?\" Alice asked me desperately as I examined her son.\n\t\"I'm afraid not,\" I replied. \"That gunshot wound was bad enough, and the fall from the roof didn't help any.\"\n\tHenry Turkel gurgled around a mouthful of blood as he tried to speak. Alice knelt down next to him, Scotty hovering over her. \"Yes, darling, it's mother,\" she said, her voice quavering.\n\t\"I killed . . . that dirty cur . . .\" Henry gasped. Then his eyes went blank, and his body went limp. \n\tI checked for a pulse. There wasn't one. I looked up at Alice. \"I'm sorry, Mrs. Turkel. He's gone.\"\n\tAlice broke down, sobbing, and Scotty held his mother, trying to comfort her as tears ran down his cheeks. My throat tightened. Scotty may have been a bigoted jerk, but a brother's love is a brother's love. I'd been twice before where he was now. I knew how it felt.\n\tI hugged myself, shivering. I was outside, in a blizzard, wearing only a pair of trousers. My fur was helping stave off hypothermia, but even so, I had to get out of the cold quickly. Then I noticed that Henry had been holding something in his right hand. It was a short length of iron pipe. There was blood on it, and bits of hair.\n\tI stood up and addressed the crowd. \"Nobody touch anything,\" I said.\n\t\"Who do you think you are, giving us orders?\" Scotty demanded, and any sympathy I'd had for him immediately evaporated.\n\t\"I'm a registered hero,\" I shot back. \"I think that gives me some authority here.\"\n\t\"Oh, a hero!\" Scotty sneered. \"What do you do, sing at villains with that squeaky voice until they surrender?\"\n\tAs I tried to think of a suitable reply, a woman's scream came from inside the house. I turned and ran back through the front door.\n\t\"It came from upstairs!\" one of the guests told me, and I bolted up the stairs and ran down the hallway. I stopped before an open door and peered into the room. Lying sprawled on his back on the floor was Conrad. Standing before him, holding a knife that was covered in blood, was Julie.\n\tShe was wearing a robe, her feet were bare, and her face was devoid of expression. She didn't react as I came in. She appeared to be in shock. I knelt down beside Conrad, lifted his wrist, and checked his pulse. He was dead, but his flesh was still warm, his arm flexible. He hadn't been dead for long. I also noticed that he hadn't been stabbed. Instead, the left side of his head had been smashed in by some blunt object . . . much like the pipe Henry had been holding. I stood up and turned to Julie.\n\t\"Julie?\" I said. \"Are you there?\" She looked down at me, and nodded mutely. \"What happened?\" I asked.\n\tIt took a moment for her to answer. \"I heard the shots,\" she said at last, her voice quiet and flat. \"I was going to check it out. I passed this door, and saw . . .\" Then she shuddered, and the knife fell from her hand as it all came crashing in on her. Delayed reaction. Not uncommon in situations like this. She cried out in anguish and rushed toward Conrad's body. \"Daddy!\"\n\tI caught her and held her back. I could do that, because I'm strong for my size. \"There's nothing you can do for him,\" I whispered, holding her tightly. Then I looked up into her glistening eyes. \"Baby . . . honey . . . where did you get the knife?\"\n\tShe swallowed, trembling in my arms. \"It . . . it was lying on the floor, by his right hand.\"\n\tRandall appeared in the doorway. \"What's going on in here?\" he asked.\n\t\"Conrad's dead,\" I replied, still holding Julie.\n\tRandall gasped. \"Oh my God!\"\n\tI looked up at Julie again. \"Julie, can you walk? Are you functional?\"\n\tShe sucked in a breath through clenched teeth and nodded quickly.\n\t\"I need you to go downstairs with Randall and wait for the police,\" I said. \"I have to look around up here. Okay?\" She nodded again, and Randall gently led her away. Then I went to work.\n\tI crouched down and inspected the knife. It was an ornate dagger with a carved wooden handle. That handle didn't look as if it would take prints very well, and Julie's holding it would have obliterated the killer's prints anyway, assuming of course that she wasn't . . . I pushed that thought aside. But if it hadn't been used to kill Conrad, whose blood was on it? Was there a third body lying around somewhere?\n\tI noticed that the curtain was fluttering. I went over to the window. There were wet footprints on the floor in front of it from a man's dress shoe, roughly size 10. There were remnants of snow that hadn't fully melted yet. They'd been made in only the past few minutes. That coincided with the freshness of Conrad's body. The wet prints led out of the room and into the hallway. I followed them. They stopped at the door of Margot's room. I knocked and called her name. There was no response. I opened the door and went inside, turning on the light.\n\tThe room was in a state of chaos. Virtually every drawer was pulled open, their contents in disarray. Someone had been searching for something, and they'd been in a hurry. Margot lay on the bed. I went over and lifted the covers, peering underneath. She was dead, stabbed through the heart. I sighed. She may have been a horrible person, but she didn't deserve this. Nobody did. I let the covers fall and left the room, heading back downstairs.\n\tThe party guests were all standing around and jabbering nervously. Julie was sitting in a chair, being comforted by Randall, and Alice was in another chair with Scotty standing beside her. Everyone stopped talking and stared at me as I came downstairs. I went over to the bar, climbed up on a stool, and poured myself a shot of whiskey.\n\t\"What did you find?\" Randall asked as I tossed the drink back.\n\t\"Margot's dead, too,\" I replied. \"Stabbed through the heart.\"\n\t\"Oh God, no!\" cried Scotty. Alice gasped. The rest started murmuring among themselves.\n\t\"Also,\" I added, \"someone searched her room. I don't think he found what he was looking for, though.\"\n\t\"Why do you say 'he'?\" Scotty asked. \"It could have been a woman!\" He looked at Julie accusingly.\n\t\"You think [i]I[/i] killed her?\" Julie asked in disbelief.\n\t\"Everyone knows you hated her!\" Scotty snarled.\n\t\"Julie was barefoot when I found her in the room with Conrad's body,\" I said. \"Randall can confirm that. Whoever was in Margot's room was wearing size 10 men's shoes. Based on the length of his stride, I'd say he was around six foot three.\"\n\t\"Is that your 'professional' opinion?\" Scotty sneered.\n\tI glared at him. \"Yes, it is! This is what I do, whether you like it or not!\"\n\tScotty sniffed. \"I'll wait for the [i]real[/i] detectives to arrive, if you don't mind.\"\n\tI shrugged. \"Fine with me. I'm on vacation anyway.\" I hopped down off the stool and went over to Julie, taking her hand and squeezing it gently. \"How are you holding up?\" I asked her.\n\tJulie took a deep breath, shivering. \"I'm okay.\"\n\t\"We'll see how okay you are when the police get here!\" Scotty said, smirking.\n\tRandall growled at his nephew. \"Scotty, shut up!\"\n\tAlice patted her son's arm. \"Darling, be a good boy. This has been a terrible night for all of us.\"\n\t\"Worse for some than for others, mother,\" Scotty replied sourly.\n\tI ignored him and went back to the bar for another drink. This terrible night was also going to be a long one.\n\n\tAbout ten minutes later, the paramedics arrived. Randall met them, explaining that there was nothing they could do for the victims. The police showed up a few minutes after that. I'd gone upstairs to put my shirt on, since I didn't feel like talking to the cops only half dressed. As I came back downstairs, Randall was speaking to a detective. He was a big, beefy man in a trenchcoat who looked every inch a cop. He stared at me in surprise, which was followed by a look of immediate dislike. There was also an owlish forensics man and a couple of uniforms.\n\t\"Oh, Alvin,\" said Randall. \"I was just saying that poor Henry was undoubtably responsible for both tragedies.\"\n\t\"A pity poor Henry isn't alive to defend himself,\" I commented.\n\tRandall raised an eyebrow. \"You don't agree?\"\n\t\"I never jump to conclusions.\"\n\tRandall looked a little miffed, but retained his manners. \"Inspector, this is Alvin, the famous crime-fighter from Millennium City. Alvin, this is Inspector Larsen, from the homicide squad.\"\n\tI held out my hand to Larsen. \"How do you do, Inspector?\" Larsen shook my hand, nodding and saying nothing.\n\t\"Alvin was present when Henry confessed,\" said Randall.\n\t\"Yes, that's right,\" I replied.\n\t\"I understand you're on vacation, Mr. . . . Alvin,\" said Larsen, \"so I imagine you won't care to concern yourself with this case.\" It sounded more like an order than an observation.\n\tI smiled up at him. \"I'm sure you can handle it better than I could, Inspector.\"\n\t\"The police have already examined Henry's body,\" said Randall. \"Shall we go upstairs, gentlemen? It won't take long. Your work will be merely routine.\" He led the cops upstairs, and I followed along.\n\tWe entered the room where Conrad's body lay, and the forensics man donned a pair of latex gloves and knelt beside the corpse. \"Nothing's been touched, gentlemen,\" said Randall. That wasn't strictly true, but Randall didn't know that Julie had been holding the dagger when I found her, and I didn't feel like mentioning it.\n\tThe forensics man picked up the dagger, examining it. \"No chance of fingerprints there,\" he said. \"That carved handle won't take them.\"\n\t\"Odd-looking piece of hardware,\" Larsen commented. \"Shouldn't be hard to trace.\"\n\tRandall nodded. \"Henry was always picking up outlandish things like that.\"\n\tThe forensics man turned his attention to Conrad's body. \"Something strange here,\" he said. \"This man wasn't killed with that dagger. He died of a fractured skull!\"\n\t\"There's nothing strange about it,\" said Randall. \"Henry used the knife to kill Margot, but for Conrad he used that hunk of pipe he was holding when he died.\"\n\t\"Why wouldn't he use the same weapon on both victims?\" I asked.\n\tRandall looked annoyed with me again. \"Henry was insane. Who can say what was going through his head?\"\n\tI turned to Larsen. \"Inspector, you'll notice that there are wet footprints leading from the window, across the floor, and down the hall to Margot's room. They were made by a man's dress shoe. Henry was wearing slippers. Also, the stride length indicates that the man who made them was around six foot three. Henry was about five ten.\"\n\tLarsen glared at me. \"I thought we agreed you weren't going to involve yourself in this case!\"\n\t\"I'm a witness, Inspector. I can't help but be involved.\"\n\t\"All the same,\" Larsen growled, \"I'll conduct this investigation in my own way, thank you!\"\n\tI shrugged. \"It's your show, not mine.\"\n\t\"Shall we go to his other victim?\" Randall asked. \n\tWe left the room and went down the hall to Margot's room. The forensics man lifted the quilt covering her body. \"No question what caused her death,\" he said. \"That knife went straight through her heart. She died instantly.\"\n\t\"Poor Margot,\" said Randall, shaking his head. \"She died just as she lived—violently.\"\n\tLarsen gazed around the room. \"Looks like whoever killed her was searching for something.\"\n\t\"Whatever it was, they didn't find it,\" I commented.\n\t\"How can you be sure?\" asked Randall.\n\t\"When people find what they're looking for, they stop looking. This room has been tossed from top to bottom, so unless whatever they were after was in the last place they looked, they didn't find it.\"\n\tLarsen scowled at me. \"I had considered that.\" He turned to Randall. \"What jewelry did Mrs. Turkel have, Mr. Morris?\"\n\t\"Nothing but a few rings,\" Randall replied. \"She didn't like jewelry.\"\n\t\"Haven't you forgotten the string of pearls?\" I asked. \"She was wearing them last night.\"\n\t\"That's right!\" said Randall, remembering. \"A memento of her days with Conrad Martins. Cost the old boy plenty, too.\"\n\t\"Look around for those pearls,\" Larsen instructed his men.\n\t\"You might want to check her vanity first,\" I said, nodding to the one nearby. \"A woman normally keeps her jewelry there so she can see how she looks wearing it.\"\n\tLarsen frowned and went over to the vanity. He picked up a small, decorative jewelry box sitting there and opened it. It was empty. Then he checked the various drawers. \"No pearls here,\" he concluded.\n\t\"Well,\" said the forensics man, coming over to us, \"if it was robbery, they overlooked these.\" He held out Margot's gold rings in his palm. \"I had a hell of a time getting them off her fingers,\" he said, handing them to Randall.\n\t\"I guess that eliminates robbery as a motive,\" said Randall.\n\t\"What about the pearls?\" I asked.\n\t\"We'll undoubtably find those in Henry Turkel's pockets.\"\n\t\"I already checked them,\" said Larsen. \"His pockets were empty.\"\n\t\"Well, never mind the pearls,\" said Randall, exasperated. \"I'm sure they'll turn up. Henry confessed! What more do you want?\"\n\t\"I still need to get everyone's statement for my report,\" said Larsen.\n\tRandall sighed. \"Very well. If you want to add to the heartaches of this family with that sort of nonsense, I suppose we can't stop you.\"\n\t\"There is something else I think might interest you, Inspector,\" I said.\n\tLarsen looked down at me with obvious annoyance. \"What's that?\"\n\t\"Conrad Martins's son Connie tried to kill Margot earlier tonight.\"\n\tLarsen and Randall both stared at me. \"He did?\" Randall asked, astonished.\n\tI nodded. \"They had an argument in the driveway. Connie would have strangled her if I hadn't intervened. And he said he'd be back.\"\n\t\"What was the argument about?\" Larsen asked.\n\t\"I couldn't hear, but I think Margot was blackmailing him.\"\n\t\"Blackmail?\" asked Randall. \"Margot didn't need money!\"\n\t\"Well, she took something off him after I knocked him out. What else could it have been but a payoff?\"\n\tLarsen smirked. \"[i]You[/i] knocked him out?\"\n\tI grinned up at him, my hands in my pockets. \"One punch.\"\n\t\"Maybe [i]he[/i] was blackmailing [i]her[/i],\" said Larsen, \"and she took whatever it was he had on her.\"\n\t\"Why would he bring the blackmail material to the meeting?\" I asked. \"And why would he try to kill her? You can't get money from a corpse.\"\n\tLarsen frowned. \"I'll have Connie Martins brought in for questioning, but I'm far from convinced that that business had anything to do with the killings. From where I'm standing, it seems clear that Henry Turkel was responsible for both murders. He escaped from the sanitarium, came here, and killed his wife, and when Conrad Martins discovered him, he smashed his skull in.\"\n\t\"With an iron pipe,\" I said, \"instead of using the dagger he killed Margot with.\"\n\tLarsen glared at me. \"As Mr. Morris pointed out, Henry was crazy. Crazy people do crazy things.\"\n\t\"And you're just going to ignore the fact that the slippers Henry was wearing don't match those footprints.\"\n\t\"Look, Alvin,\" Larsen growled, trying to make my name sound like an insult, \"you may be a bigshot in Millennium City, with famous friends like Nighthawk and Defender, but Grand Rapids is [i]my[/i] beat, and I don't need some sawed-off superhero wannabe playing amateur detective!\"\n\tI gazed up at him coldly. \"I wouldn't dream of playing amateur detective, Inspector Larsen. I'll leave that to you.\"\n\tHis eyes widened, and he clenched his big ham fists. \"Why, you little—\" he began, then caught himself. He took a deep breath, regaining his composure. \"There will, of course, be a formal inquest regarding the deaths of Conrad Martins and Margot Turkel,\" he said calmly. \"If you have anything to add to the official police report, you can bring it up there. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have a lot of people to talk to.\" He turned and lumbered out of the room, followed by Randall—who threw me a dirty look—the forensics man, and the two uniforms. I sighed, shaking my head, and walked after them.\n\n\tThe cops didn't leave until around four in the morning. Julie and I both gave Inspector Larsen our statements. Neither of us mentioned that Julie had been holding the dagger when I'd found her. I wasn't sure she even remembered having it, since she'd been in such a state of shock at finding her father dead, and I didn't see anything to be gained by incriminating her. I didn't believe for one minute that Julie would have killed Margot, no matter how much she disliked the woman, and that wasn't just love talking. I'd been living with Julie for nearly a year, and I'd gotten to know her pretty well. But there was an unsettling possibility creeping around the corners of my mind. \n\tOnce we'd given our statements, we both went upstairs, undressed, and got into bed. Julie put her arms around me and I around her, and we lay that way for a time. Then Julie began shivering and sobbing, her cheek against my furry shoulder. I held her tighter and gently stroked the back of her head. I didn't say anything. Words are so inadequate at times like this.\n\t\"What did Larsen have to say?\" Julie asked finally.\n\t\"The consensus seems to be 'blame poor, dead Henry,'\" I replied. \"If he weren't already dead, Randall would be tying a noose around his neck. Did he have anything against Henry?\"\n\t\"Not that I know of,\" Julie replied. \"He used to take Henry and Scotty on fishing trips when they were kids. I went along on a couple of them. That's when I first got to know Henry. I remember he used to feel bad for the fish. I thought that was kind of sweet.\"\n\t\"Hmm. A man who feels sorry for fish doesn't make a very likely murder suspect.\"\n\t\"Well, that was before Margot drove him insane.\"\n\t\"Even so, there are a lot of things about this case that don't add up.\"\n\tJulie looked at me. \"You don't think he did it?\"\n\t\"No, I don't. I think they're using him as a patsy so they can close the case quickly with a minimum of publicity.\"\n\t\"I'd love it if you could prove he was innocent,\" said Julie. \"I hate the idea of them blackening that poor boy's memory to shield someone else.\"\n\t\"And I hate the idea of a murderer going free,\" I said. \"But don't get your hopes up. Inspector Larsen already has his killer, and he clearly doesn't care for me, so he's not likely to be swayed by anything I have to say. It'll take some pretty convincing evidence to persuade anyone that Henry was innocent. Then, there's the fact that one of the people near the top of my list of suspects is your dear brother, Connie.\" I watched her face intently to observe her reaction.\n\tJulie hesitated a moment, then sighed. \"If it were just Margot, I wouldn't give a damn. Does that make me a terrible person?\"\n\tI shook my head. \"No. You didn't like her. There's no reason why you should care who killed her.\"\n\tJulie smiled at me. \"Thanks. But since they also killed my father, I want to see them brought to justice, no matter who they are.\"\n\tI nodded. \"Okay, then. Let's get some sleep. I'll start investigating tomorrow. Or rather, later today.\"\n\tJulie nodded back. \"Thank you, Alvin.\"\n\tI smiled back at her, and we kissed, and Julie turned out the lights. However, as I lay back on my pillow in the darkness, my smile faded. There was something about this whole business that really bothered me. Julie was lying. She'd said she'd been awakened by the gunshots and had gone to investigate them, but that wasn't true. I'd been awakened by the shots, and I'd woken alone. I couldn't fathom why she would lie to me. As far as I knew, she never had before. But the fact that she'd done so tonight meant that there was something she didn't want me to know, something she didn't trust me with, and that both hurt and frightened me. I considered confronting her, but decided against it. Perhaps she'd tell me on her own, eventually. At least, I hoped she would. And I hoped that whatever she was hiding wasn't something that would force me to choose between my love for her and the principles I'd chosen to dedicate my life to. I rolled over on my side and fell into a troubled sleep.\n\n\tThe following morning, Julie and I drove back to her father's house to change clothes, then to the sanitarium where Henry had been a patient. It was a big old red brick building in a secluded, picturesque spot on an expansive property where patients could walk around freely, though of course none were doing that now, as there was two feet of snow on the ground. We went inside and spoke to the receptionist, asking to see Henry's physician, a Dr. Spiro. She spoke to him through the intercom, and he agreed to see us, so we proceeded to his office. \n\tDr. Spiro was a thin, distinguished-looking, gray-haired man who regarded me with interest as we entered. I'd gotten that reaction before. Biological oddities like myself often arouse the professional curiosity of people in the medical profession. Julie and I introduced ourselves, and he invited us to sit down, which we did. \"Well, what can I do for you?\" Spiro asked.\n\t\"We're here regarding Henry Turkel,\" I replied. \"I assume you've already spoken to the police.\"\n\tSpiro nodded. \"They were here earlier this morning. Are you assisting them?\"\n\t\"Not officially,\" I said. \"This is more of a personal matter. Julie and Henry were old friends.\"\n\t\"We're trying to prove his innocence,\" Julie added.\n\tSpiro nodded. \"I hope you succeed. It'd take a lot of responsibility off my shoulders.\"\n\t\"Was Henry Turkel a violent patient?\" I asked.\n\t\"Only occasionally,\" Spiro replied. \"Most of the time he was quite rational, until something caused him to change.\"\n\t\"Had he been acting in an unusual manner before his escape?\" I asked.\n\t\"No, he seemed rather quiet until about three in the afternoon. Then, he became morose and nervous.\"\n\tI noticed Julie's fingers tighten on the arm of her chair. \"Any idea what may have caused him to change?\" I asked Spiro.\n\t\"I'm afraid not,\" Spiro replied. \"But something must have gotten him more excited than usual, because immediately after his escape, we found my dog Boston, dead, his skull caved in.\"\n\tI blinked. \"Just before Henry died, he muttered something about having killed 'that dirty cur.' The police are treating it as a confession.\"\n\t\"You think he may have been referring to Boston?\" asked Spiro.\n\t\"It's a distinct possibility.\"\n\t\"Well, I sincerely hope so,\" said Spiro.\n\t\"Would it be possible for me to have some of your dog's hairs?\" I asked.\n\t\"Certainly. His bed is right over there.\" He gestured to a doggie bed on the other side of the office. I slid off my chair, went over to it, plucked some of the black and white hairs that covered it with the tweezers from the miniature forensics kit I habitually carry in my jacket pocket, and placed them in a tiny glass vial.\n\t\"Thank you, Doctor,\" I said to Spiro. \"You've been very helpful.\"\n\t\"I'm glad to have been so,\" he said.\n\t\"If it becomes necessary, can I rely on you as a witness?\"\n\t\"Yes, of course.\"\n\t\"Thank you.\"\n\tJulie and I left his office, went out into the snow-covered parking lot, and got into the car. \"Is there something you'd like to share with me?\" I asked, as we sat there in the stationary vehicle.\n\tJulie was staring straight ahead. \"I think I may have caused all this,\" she said quietly.\n\t\"How so?\" I asked.\n\t\"Yesterday, at three in the afternoon, just before we left to come here, I was talking to Henry on my computer.\"\n\t\"Henry had Internet access?\"\n\t\"His doctor allowed him limited contact with the outside world. I told him I was coming to see him. And . . . he asked me about a string of pearls.\"\n\t\"The pearls Margot was wearing last night,\" I said, \"which have since mysteriously disappeared.\"\n\tShe looked at me. \"You know about them?\"\n\tI nodded. \"Randall mentioned that your father had bought them for her when they were married.\"\n\tJulie sighed. \"Yes, and Margot refused to return them after the divorce.\"\n\t\"Sounds like her,\" I commented.\n\t\"Henry was furious about that. He called them a badge of infamy. He wanted them returned to my father. So, to calm him, I promised I'd go to Margot's room that night, get the pearls, and give them to him. I figured I could sneak in, grab them, and sneak back out without anyone knowing.\"\n\tI nodded. Julie had the skills of a ninja, having been temporarily possessed a few months ago by the spirit of one, who had used her body to complete his assignment. \"And that's why you weren't in bed with me when I was awakened by the gunshots.\"\n\t\"Yes, I was in Margot's room when Henry was shot. I was heading back to our room with the pearls in a pocket of my robe when I saw my father's body.\"\n\t\"With the dagger that killed Margot beside him.\"\n\tJulie nodded. \"That's right.\"\n\t\"Which you were holding when I found you.\"\n\t\"I . . . must have picked it up. I don't remember. I wasn't thinking clearly.\" She turned her eyes to meet mine. \"Alvin, why are you looking at me like that?\"\n\tI decided it was time to broach that unsettling possibility that had been creeping around the corners of my mind. \"Julie, has it occurred to you that you may have killed Margot without realizing it?\"\n\tShe stared at me. \"What?\"\n\t\"You absorbed the skills of a ninja when you were possessed by one. Perhaps you absorbed other things as well, like his bloodthirstiness.\"\n\tJulie shook her head. \"No, I couldn't—\"\n\t\"You were in the same room with a woman you hated, who had wronged your father by refusing to return something that had been given to her as a token of his affection. The Japanese are very big on honor, Julie. And revenge.\"\n\tJulie sat in silence for a moment, pondering this. \"Do you really think it's possible?\" she asked at last.\n\tI shrugged. \"I don't know. Ninja magic is way outside my area of expertise. But I think we at least have to consider the possibility.\"\n\tJulie hugged herself, shivering. \"Yamazaki used my body to kill someone, and to try to kill you!\"\n\tI squeezed her arm gently. \"But that wasn't you, Julie, that was him. You weren't responsible for what he did, and if some residual traces of his personality influenced you to kill Margot, you wouldn't be responsible for that, either.\"\n\tShe looked at me, scared and defensive. \"And my father?\"\n\tI shook my head. \"No, that wouldn't make any sense. First, you didn't open the window and track snow into the room, since you were already in the house. Second, you couldn't have made those footprints. Third, you would have used the dagger you were holding. And fourth, you had no motive. It's looking more and more to me like Margot and your father were killed by two different people, and at this point, I'm fairly certain that neither of them was Henry Turkel.\" I looked at her. \"Where are the pearls?\"\n\tShe sighed. \"They're in my suitcase, back at Dad's house. I didn't know what else to do with them. Dad's dead, Henry's dead, Margot's dead. They don't have an owner anymore!\"\n\t\"Well, we'll worry about them later,\" I said. \"They're not really germane to the case. I think it's time we paid a call on your brother. Are you ready for that?\" I looked up at her with concern.\n\tJulie nodded. \"Let's get it over with.\"\n\tShe turned the ignition key, and we drove out of the parking lot and headed toward the city.\n\n\tThe Griffin's Roost was a nightclub located in a run-down neighborhood in Grand Rapids. It was a two-story brick building with an Art Deco facade that had probably looked very classy ninety years ago. Now, it just looked shabby, with stained, snow-shrouded concrete griffins perched along the ledge lining the second floor, their wings boldly pointing straight up as they stood silent vigil over the decaying edifice.\n\t\"This is Connie's club?\" asked Julie, as we got out of the car and looked up at the place from the slush-covered sidewalk. \"It's a dump!\"\n\tI nodded. \"Margot did say it had an evil reputation.\" We walked to the front door, tried it, found it unlocked, and went inside.\n\tThe interior was a little nicer, with red velvet curtains and furnishings of polished wood. There was nobody manning the front desk, so we just walked past it and entered the main bar area facing the dance floor and stage. It was around noon, so there weren't many customers, just a few folks sitting at the bar. Julie and I went up to the bartender, who looked down at me in surprise. \"Can I help you?\" he asked.\n\t\"We're looking for Conrad Martins,\" Julie replied. \"Is he here?\"\n\t\"Who wants to know?\" the man asked suspiciously.\n\t\"His sister.\"\n\t\"Hold on,\" the man said. He took out his cell phone and dialed it. \"Boss, there's a girl here who says she's your sister. Twentyish, brown hair. Also, one of those manimals is with her. Looks like a chipmunk. Okay.\" He put his phone away. \"He'll be down in a minute. In the meantime, he said you can have whatever you want, on the house.\"\n\t\"How nice of him,\" Julie said, smiling thinly.\n\t\"I'll have a scotch and soda,\" I said.\n\t\"Make that two,\" Julie added. The man poured our drinks and handed them to us, and we went to one of the booths and sat down.\n\tAs we sat there drinking and waiting, a couple of thuggish-looking types came over to us. One was short and stocky with dark hair, and the other was a taller, slimmer black man. They were both wearing suits with open collars and gold neck chains. They grinned at us in way that was not at all friendly. \"Hey, half-pint,\" the dark-haired thug said to me. \"This your girlfriend?\" He inclined his head toward Julie.\n\t\"Yeah,\" I replied. \"This yours?\" I gestured at his companion.\n\tThe black thug just laughed, but the dark-haired thug frowned. \"You better watch your mouth, pipsqueak,\" he growled. \"Nobody likes a smart guy!\"\n\tI smiled at him. \"Then you must be very popular.\"\n\tThe dark-haired thug snarled and plunged his right hand into his jacket pocket. I reacted by throwing my drink in his face. While he was blinded, Julie moved like a mousetrap springing, seizing his right arm and twisting it behind his back, making him cry out in pain. In his right hand he held an automatic. I glanced at the black guy to see what he would do. He just stood there, looking surprised.\n\t\"Sal! Louie! What the hell are you doing?\" Connie demanded as he came striding up to us. He glared at the guy with the automatic. \"Sal, put that away!\"\n\t\"I can't move!\" Sal hissed through clenched teeth.\n\t\"Julie, let go of him!\" Connie ordered. Julie took Sal's gun away and released him, and he stood there, glowering at both of us. \n\t\"What are you doing here?\" Connie asked Julie.\n\t\"Nice to see you, too, Connie,\" Julie said sourly. \"Strangle anyone lately?\"\n\t\"Look, I already talked to the cops,\" Connie snarled at her. \"They're satisfied Henry did it. Case closed!\"\n\tI nodded. \"Lucky for you Henry decided to pay a call on his family that night, and that the butler shot him. Otherwise, the cops might be looking for someone about six-foot-three who wears size 10 shoes.\" I glanced down at his feet. \"Someone like you, Connie.\"\n\tConnie looked at me and smirked. \"There's thousands of guys in this town who fit that description, freak.\"\n\t\"How many of them swore they'd be back to get what they came for?\" I asked, unperturbed.\n\tConnie grinned. \"Sure, I said I'd be back. But I wasn't in [i]that[/i] much of a hurry.\"\n\t\"Did you find what you were looking for in Margot's bedroom?\"\n\tConnie snickered. \"Sure I did. Lots of times. But Julie knows all about that, don't you, Julie?\"\n\t\"I know you have horrible taste in women!\" Julie said accusingly.\n\t\"Oh, like you can talk!\" Connie shot back, gesturing at me. \"He belongs in a sideshow!\"\n\tI rolled my eyes. \"Come on, Connie, you can do better than that. Tell me one I haven't heard a thousand times before.\"\n\t\"Doesn't make it any less true!\" Connie growled.\n\tI grinned at him. \"Did you tell your boys here how this sideshow freak laid you out with one punch?\"\n\tSal and Louie blinked as Connie turned scarlet, and looked at him. \"One punch?\" Louie asked. \"That little guy?\"\n\tConnie pointed at the door. \"I want both of you out of here. Now!\"\n\tI shrugged, slid out of my seat, and walked past him. \"Thanks for the drink. Too bad most of it ended up on the floor.\" I stopped and turned when I realized Julie wasn't following me. She was standing, looking at her brother.\n\t\"Connie, why?\" she asked him.\n\tConnie looked surprised. \"Why what?\"\n\t\"Why did you have to become such a creep? You were my big brother! When we were kids, I looked up to you!\"\n\tConnie bit his lip. Her words really seemed to bother him, probably because he didn't have an answer for her. It wasn't hard to figure out why he'd turned out this way. His rich dad had spoiled him rotten, most likely shielding him from the consequences of his actions, so now he thought he could get away with anything. I'd seen the type before. He was a brat, pure and simple.\n\tJulie scowled at her brother. \"I guess with Dad gone and Margot no longer blackmailing you, your money problems are over. Assuming, of course, Dad kept you in his will, which I'm sure he did.\" She laughed harshly. \"I wouldn't be surprised if you bumped him off yourself!\"\n\tConnie looked at her. \"You really think I could do that? Murder my own father?\"\n\t\"I wouldn't put anything past you, Connie.\" She turned to me. \"Come on, Alvin, let's get out of here. I can't stand the stench.\" She ejected the magazine from Sal's gun, tossed it and the gun in different directions, and walked out, with me following her. \n\tWe went to the car and got in. \"I'm sorry,\" I said as we pulled out. \"That must have been hard on you.\"\n\t\"Not as much as you'd think,\" Julie said. \"I pretty much wrote him off years ago.\"\n\t\"If you say so. I know I'd give anything to have my brothers back.\"\n\t\"Your brothers weren't slimeballs. Unless you count Dr. Sciuridae.\"\n\tI frowned. Dr. Sciuridae was an evil version of my brother Simon who lived in another dimension. \"No, I don't.\"\n\t\"So, what did all that accomplish?\" Julie asked.\n\t\"Well, Connie knows I suspect him now. With any luck, that'll cause him to do something stupid.\"\n\t\"But you don't have any evidence that he's guilty of either murder.\"\n\t\"No, but he doesn't know that. In the meantime, there's something I want to check out, but it'll have to wait until tonight.\" I looked up at her. \"I'm famished. Want to grab some lunch?\"\n\tJulie smiled at me. \"Ever had a Halo Burger?\"\n\t\"No, I can't say that I have.\"\n\t\"It's a western Michigan delicacy. One bite and you'll think you've gone to heaven. There's a location not far from here.\"\n\tI grinned. \"Okay, lead on!\"\n\tWe headed off so Julie could show me what heaven tasted like.\n\n\tAs I said before, southern Michigan is as flat as a pancake. It was bulldozed along with the rest of the American Midwest during the last Ice Age when a giant glacier rolled over it, and as a result, there's nothing to obstruct the frigid winter winds that blow off the Great Plains. Such a wind clawed at me now, trying to steal the heat from my body and whipping my cape around me as I stood on the rooftop of the Grand Rapids Police Department under a full moon. I was wearing my Nightmunk costume, which has a built-in heating system, but ten below is still ten below, and tiny icicles had formed in the fur on my cheeks and muzzle as my breath froze the second it left my mouth. Every time I inhaled, the icy air seared my sinuses.\n\t If this had been Millennium City, I would have simply called Chief Surhoff and asked if I could examine the evidence pertaining to the case I was interested in, and he probably would have said yes, because I'm a registered hero and I've helped him out before. But I knew Inspector Larsen wouldn't let me anywhere near the evidence from the Turkel murders, so I was forced to use more unorthodox methods. I attached a grapple to the edge of the building and lowered myself over the side to a large, multipaned window. The interior latches presented no difficulty. I have a special gadget for those. I pushed the window open a bit and slipped through, dropping to the floor of the evidence room. \n\t It was dark inside, so I took out my flashlight and began searching for what I was after. There was a clipboard hanging from a hook by the door that listed the logged-in evidence by case. I found the locker holding the evidence from the Turkel case. There were the dagger that had killed Margot and the iron pipe that Henry had been clutching when he'd died, both in plastic evidence bags. I picked up the latter and opened the bag. Using a pair of tweezers, I took a sample of the blood and hair encrusting the pipe and placed it in a tiny glass vial from my forensics kit. Then I re-sealed the bag, put it back in the locker, closed the locker, and left the way I'd come in.\n\tJulie was waiting for me in the car in the parking lot across the street from the police station. I opened the door and climbed in. She giggled when she saw me. \"You look like a chipmunk Santa Claus!\" she said. \n\t\"Ho ho ho,\" I said, grinning back at her as the little icicles on my cheeks and muzzle began to melt in the heated interior of the car.\n\t\"Did you get it?\"\n\tI nodded. \"Yeah, easy as pie. Let's get this stuff home so I can analyze it.\"\n\t\"You really think that's dog hair and blood on that pipe?\" Julie asked as she started the car and threw it into drive.\n\t\"I'm almost certain of it,\" I replied.\n\t\"Wouldn't the police already know that?\"\n\t\"Unless they're grossly incompetent, which I doubt. Grand Rapids isn't exactly some little backwater town.\"\n\t\"Then why wouldn't they say so?\"\n\tI looked at her. \"Is Randall Morris an influential person here?\"\n\t\"I'd say that's a pretty fair assessement.\"\n\t\"The kind of person who could get local officials to do what he wants?\"\n\t\"You think there's been a cover-up?\"\n\t\"He has been trying to pin the murders on Henry from the start.\"\n\tJulie nodded. \"So you think he might be the real killer?\"\n\t\"Or he could be trying to deflect attention away from them.\"\n\t\"And where does Connie fit in?\"\n\t\"I'm pretty sure he was in the house that night. Beyond that, it's hard to say.\"\n\tWe arrived back at Julie's father's house, got out of the car, and went in through the front door. I was deep in thought about the case, which may explain why I didn't notice anything wrong until it was too late. As we entered the living room, the crystal chandelier lit up and we suddenly found ourselves surrounded. I recognized Sal and Louie from the Griffin's Roost, and there were four others as well, all pointing pistols at us. Connie was standing off to one side. Beside him stood a Latina girl I didn't recognize. She looked terrified.\n\t\"Hello, sis,\" Connie said. \"Hello, Alvin. Nice costume.\"\n\t\"Connie, what the hell do you think you're doing?\" Julie demanded, glaring at him.\n\t\"It's called self-preservation, sis,\" Connie replied. \"Your fuzzy boyfriend is making me nervous. I don't like being nervous.\"\n\t\"What have you got to be nervous about?\" I asked.\n\t\"Let's just say not everything that goes on in the club is strictly legal, and I don't need some freak who thinks he's Nighthawk sticking his big nose into my business.\"\n\tI smirked. \"And you think killing us is going to divert attention [i]away[/i] from you? That's really dumb, Connie.\"\n\tConnie shrugged. \"I'll make sure nobody finds the bodies. Everyone will just assume you two went back to Millennium City.\"\n\tJulie rolled her eyes. \"And it won't look the least bit suspicious when I don't show up for the reading of Dad's will and you inherit everything!\"\n\tConnie blanched. Apparently, he hadn't thought about that. \"It doesn't matter!\" he countered defensively. \"They still won't be able to prove a thing!\"\n\tI sighed. \"Connie, you're a stupid punk who's in way over his head. Get out now, while you still can.\"\n\tConnie scowled, drew a pistol, and pointed it at me. \"You can't talk to me like that, freak!\"\n\tSal spoke up. \"You want us to waste the little pipsqueak, boss?\"\n\t\"The only thing you'd waste would be your bullets,\" I said. \"My costume is armored.\"\n\t\"Your face isn't!\" shouted Connie.\n\tI grinned. \"Then you'd better be a really good shot. Otherwise . . .\" A pair of silver-blue questionite claws slid out of each of my gauntlets.\n\tConnie pulled the trigger. I crossed my arms in front of my face, and the bullet pinged harmlessly off my left gauntlet. His henchmen shot at me too, with equal lack of success. I was drawing their fire, which had been my intent. Taking advantage of the distraction I was providing, Julie drew a throwing blade from her jacket and hurled it at the chandelier, cutting its cord and sending it crashing to the floor, plunging the room into darkness.\n\tJulie and I laid into the thugs as they fired blindly, using the muzzle flashes of their guns to target them. I sheathed my claws and struck with my fists, as I didn't want to kill anyone. I was worried about Julie. While in some ways her ninja skills made her a better fighter than me, without her Nightfox costume she wasn't bulletproof, and there was always the chance of a stray shot finding its mark.\n\tWhen the shooting stopped, Julie switched on a table lamp and we could see again. Connie's men were lying strewn around the room, unconscious. The Latina girl was crouched cowering against the wall, hands over her ears, shivering. Connie was gone.\n\t\"He must have slipped past us!\" said Julie.\n\t\"The car they came in must be parked in the street!\" I said. \"Maybe we can still catch him!\" I turned and ran out the front door, Julie close behind me.\n\tConnie was running toward a car parked out on the street. He was also well ahead of us. He jumped in and gunned the engine as we ran up to the car. There was no way we could reach it in time, so I drew my grapple gun, held it with both hands, and fired at the rear bumper. The car peeled out, spraying slush, and I was yanked off my feet and my arms nearly torn from their sockets as it took me along for the ride.\n\tI skidded along the icy street, dragged behind the speeding car, my armored costume shielding me from serious harm, though I was still getting dirty slush sprayed in my face. I hit the retract button on my grapple gun and was reeled up behind the bumper. Reaching up with my left hand, I grasped the bumper, let go of the grapple gun, popped the claws on my right gauntlet, and plunged them into the car's trunk. Thus braced, I popped the claws on my left gauntlet and rammed them into the trunk too, using them to pull myself up a bit farther, like a mountain climber sinking pitons into a rock face.\n\tConnie realized he had company and began shooting at me, shattering the rear window and showering me with chunks of safety glass. Unfortunately, that meant he wasn't paying much attention to what was ahead of him. I lifted my head and saw two headlights blazing directly in front of us. Connie saw them too, and screamed. There was nothing I could do for him. I retracted my claws and leaped to one side, curling into a ball as Connie's car slammed into the front of a semi. There was an explosion of glass, and my ears were raked by the screech of twisting metal as I landed on the street, bouncing and rolling, my body armor absorbing most of the impact.\n\tI skidded to a stop, uncurled, and slowly got to my feet, my whole body sore. I turned and looked back at the crash. The semi's front was caved in. The driver had gotten out, looking shaken but unharmed. Connie's car was totaled. I went over to the wreck and winced at what I saw. The collision had catapulted him through the windshield. It was pretty nasty. As I took out my cell phone and dialed 911, the lyrics of Kiss's \"Detroit Rock City\" came unbidden to my mind:\n\t\n\t[i]Twelve o'clock, I gotta rock\n\tThere's a truck ahead, lights starin' at my eyes\n\tOh my God, no time to turn\n\tI got to laugh 'cause I know I'm gonna die\n\tWhy?\n\tGet up, everybody's gonna move their feet\n\tGet down, everybody's gonna leave their seat[/i]\n\n\t\"You know, Nightmunk,\" said Inspector Larsen, leaning across a table in an interrogation room in Grand Rapids Police Headquarters and looking at me with a none-too-friendly expression, \"for someone who's allegedly on vacation, you seem to be involving yourself in this case quite a bit.\"\n\tI nodded, taking a sip from a cup of hot cocoa I was holding in my gloved hand. I was seated across the table from him, still wearing my costume, the hood pulled back. I had just finished giving him my statement regarding Connie's attempt to kill Julie and me and his subsequent death in a car crash. \"I tend to get involved when people try to murder my friends, Inspector. I'm funny that way.\"\n\t\"Why did you go to see Connie Martins earlier today?\" he asked sharply.\n\t\"Because Julie wanted to talk to him.\"\n\t\"What about?\"\n\t\"Their father was murdered yesterday. It's just possible she might have wanted to find out how he was taking it.\"\n\t\"And why did she bring you along?\"\n\t\"Because I'm her friend, and the Griffin's Roost has an unsavory reputation.\"\n\tHe regarded me for a moment. \"Are you and Miss Martins romantically involved?\"\n\tI frowned. \"I don't see how that's any of your business, Inspector.\"\n\t\"It's my business if it helps me to establish a motive for why you and she might have wanted her brother dead!\"\n\tI stared at him. \"Did you even listen to my statement? Connie tried to kill [i]us[/i]! He and his boys ambushed us as we entered her father's house!\"\n\t\"And you hadn't given him any reason to fear for his life,\" said Larsen, skeptically.\n\t\"No! And even if I had, would that justify him breaking into his father's house and threatening to kill me, Julie, and that other girl? Who is she, anyway?\"\n\t\"I'll ask the questions,\" said Larsen. \"And Connie didn't break in. He had a key, presumably given to him by his father. We found it on his body.\"\n\t\"Okay, so he let himself in. He still tried to kill us!\"\n\t\"Why were you wearing your costume?\"\n\t\"Because I was concerned for Julie's safety, and I can protect her better in this.\"\n\t\"Why were you concerned for her safety? Could it be because she accused Connie of murdering their father?\"\n\tI shook my head. \"That's not what she said. She said she wouldn't be surprised if he'd done it, and in light of recent events, neither would I!\"\n\t\"Would you be surprised to learn the other girl was Conrad Martins's maid?\"\n\t\"Not really. He mentioned he had one.\"\n\t\"Odd for a maid to come over in the middle of the night, isn't it?\"\n\t\"I agree, it is odd.\"\n\t\"You ever see her before?\"\n\t\"No, never.\"\n\t\"Why do you suppose she came?\"\n\t\"I don't know. Why don't you ask her?\"\n\tLarsen reached into his coat pocket and lifted up a string of pearls, laying them on the table between us. \"These look familiar?\"\n\tI nodded. \"They're the ones Margot Turkel was wearing the night she was killed.\"\n\t\"We found them in Julie Martins's suitcase.\"\n\t\"You did? Interesting.\"\n\t\"Any idea how they got there?\"\n\tI shook my head. \"None whatsoever.\"\n\tLarsen looked at me intently. \"You know what I think, Nightmunk?\"\n\tI shrugged. \"That the moon is made of cheese?\"\n\t\"I think Julie Martins stole those pearls from Margot Turkel's room. And I think you and Julie tried to kill Connie tonight so you wouldn't have to split her father's money with him!\"\n\tI nodded. \"And then Connie obligingly drove his car into a semi for us.\"\n\t\"He was trying to get away from you!\" Larsen growled.\n\t\"Yes, because he tried to kill me and failed! Has it occurred to you that Connie had as much motive for wanting Julie dead as she did for wanting him dead?\"\n\tLarsen pounced. \"So you admit she did have a motive!\"\n\t\"If either of us cared about her father's money, which we don't.\"\n\tHe smirked. \"You two share an apartment in Millennium City, correct?\"\n\t\"We've never made any secret of that.\"\n\t\"It's in Westside. Pretty poor neighborhood.\"\n\tI sighed. \"You see this costume, Inspector? It's made of an exotic polymer—bulletproof and fireproof.\" I held up my gauntlets and popped my claws. \"These blades are questionite, one of the rarest metals on Earth. I also have a variety of weapons, gadgets, and other equipment, and a grav bike. Nighthawk gave me these things to increase my effectiveness as a crime-fighter. Now, I've never bothered to calculate how much all this stuff cost, but if I had to guess, I'd say somewhere in the neighborhood of five million dollars. In short, I need money about as much as I need Rogaine. If you try to use that as a motive to pin Connie's death on Julie and me, you're going to end up with egg on your face.\" I leaned back in my chair and folded my arms across my chest.\n\tLarsen was silent for a moment. \"You still haven't explained how those pearls ended up in your girlfriend's suitcase,\" he said at last.\n\t\"I told you, I don't know. The last time I saw them, they were around Margot Turkel's neck.\"\n\t\"I'm warning you, Nightmunk,\" Larsen said, glowering at me, \"if you know something about her and Conrad Martins's deaths you're not telling me, I'll book you for withholding evidence!\"\n\tI chuckled and put my hands behind my head and my feet up on the table. \"You may be able to scare ignorant pushers and pickpockets with threats like that, Larsen, but it won't work on me. I know my rights. I don't have to tell you squat unless you can rustle up a subpoena, and no judge on this planet is going to issue a subpoena to make me testify about a case you've already declared closed. Seriously, Larsen, if you're going to make a threat, make one that means something. Otherwise, stop wasting my time.\"\n\tLarsen made a grumbling noise, his bluff called. \"All right, you're free to go.\"\n\t\"What about Julie?\" I asked.\n\t\"I'm holding her on suspicion of grand larceny.\"\n\tI jumped to my feet on my chair and leaned toward him, hands on the table. \"You can't do that!\"\n\t\"The pearls were found in her suitcase!\" Larsen shot back. \"That's about as open-and-shut as it gets!\"\n\tI ground my teeth together. As much as I hated the idea of Julie being in jail, there wasn't much I could do about it. Larsen could hold her for up to twenty-four hours before formally charging her with a crime. Once he did, I could post her bail and she'd be free until her trial, but I was pretty sure Larsen would hold her as long as he could to try to sweat a confession out of her. It wouldn't work, of course—Julie's ninja discipline would see to that—but in the meantime she was stuck where she was. I pulled my hood up, jumped down off my chair, and headed for the door, muttering under my breath.\n\tAs I was leaving, Larsen said, \"You can't fool me, Nightmunk! You know something, and I'm going to find out what it is!\"\n\tI looked back at him and grinned. \"Anything's possible. After all, you made inspector.\" And I turned and left.\n\tAs I walked through the lobby of police headquarters with everyone staring at me, I noticed the Latina girl who'd been with Connie and his thugs waiting by the door. I walked up to her. \"Hello,\" I said, extending my hand. \"I don't believe we've been formally introduced. I'm Alvin.\"\n\tShe nodded, shaking my hand. \"I know who you are. Thank you for saving my life tonight.\"\n\t\"Well, that's kind of what I do. Mind telling me who you are? I like to know the names of the people I save.\" I smiled at her.\n\t\"My name is Gabriela Ortiz. I was Conrad Martins's maid.\"\n\t\"Yeah, Inspector Larsen mentioned that. Strange time to drop by for a cleaning.\"\n\tShe scowled. \"I didn't 'drop by.' Connie kidnapped me and brought me there by force! He said he was going to kill me!\"\n\t\"Why would he do that?\" I asked.\n\t\"I don't know! He wouldn't tell me!\"\n\tI pondered this. Connie hadn't been the sharpest knife in the drawer, but abducting and killing the maid when he didn't have to sounded too dumb even for him. There had to have been some reason. \n\tA taxicab pulled up at the curb in front of the police station. Gabriela glanced at it, then at me. \"I am headed back to Conrad's house,\" she said. \"Would you like a ride?\"\n\t\"You're not going to your own place?\" I asked.\n\t\"Conrad's is closer, and I am rather shaken up after what happened tonight. I would like to lie down.\"\n\t\"In that case, I'll be glad to come along,\" I said. \"I'll even pay the fare.\"\n\tShe smiled at me. \"Thank you.\"\n\tWe rode back to Conrad's house in silence. I paid the cabbie, and we went inside, out of the cold. I pulled back the hood of my costume and went to the bar. \"Would you like a drink?\" I asked Gabriela. \"I'm having one.\" I poured myself some of his excellent brandy.\n\tGabriela sat down on the couch, hugged herself, and began sobbing and shaking. I sighed and went over to her, offering her the glass I'd poured. \"Here, drink this,\" I said. \"According to the movies, brandy fixes everything.\"\n\tGabriela accepted the glass and took a gulp from it. \"Can it fix a broken heart?\" she asked.\n\tI shook my head. \"No, but it does help dull the pain.\"\n\tGabriela looked at me, her eyes red. \"I still can't believe he's dead. He was so gentle and kind.\"\n\tI nodded. \"I didn't know him long, but he seemed like a good man. He didn't even object to me being with his daughter.\"\n\t\"How could he have such a rat for a son?\" she asked. Then she looked at me and bit her lip. \"No offense.\"\n\tI smiled. \"None taken.\" My eyes drifted to a framed photograph on a table beside the couch. It was a picture of Conrad and Margot, Conrad dressed like an Arab sheik, Margot in a harem girl outfit. There was handwriting on it, identifying it as having been taken for a costume ball Randall had held over a year ago. That would have been before the divorce. Then I noticed a dagger stuck in the sash around Conrad's waist, and my eyes went wide. It was the dagger that had killed Margot.\n\tGabriela noticed me staring at the picture. \"Connie liked that picture too,\" she commented.\n\tI turned to her, surprised. \"He did?\"\n\t\"Yes, he was looking at it the last time he was here.\"\n\t\"When was that?\"\n\t\"The last time I was, the day before yesterday. I was helping Conrad tidy up because you and Julie were coming to visit. Connie dropped by to ask for money, like he always did. He admired the knife in the picture and asked his father if he still had it. Conrad said he did, and Connie asked him if he could have it, so Conrad gave it to him. He loved giving people presents. He was a generous man.\"\n\t\"That was the same dagger that killed Margot!\" I said. \"That's why Connie wanted you dead! You could link him to the murder weapon!\" I thought for a moment. \"And since the dagger belonged to Conrad, that would make it look like [i]he[/i] killed her. Huh. Connie was smarter than I thought!\"\n\tGabriela stared at me. \"You mean Connie killed her?\"\n\t\"Well, if he weren't already dead, it would be looking pretty bad for him right now.\"\n\t\"Are you going to tell the police?\" Gabriela asked.\n\tI shrugged. \"Do you want me to? You'd have to tell Larsen what you saw, and he won't be happy to hear it, since he's been saying Henry was the killer. And Henry's dead, so it's not like you'd be saving an innocent man from going to jail.\"\n\tGabriela nodded. \"But it would be the right thing to do.\"\n\tI smiled. \"Yes, it would be.\"\n\t\"I will think about it,\" Gabriela said, rising from the couch. \"Right now, I just want to sleep.\"\n\t\"Sleep sounds fantastic,\" I said. \"See you in the morning.\" I went to the room Julie and I had been using, took off my costume, and climbed into bed, wishing Julie were with me and feeling guilty because I knew she was having a much worse night than I was.\n\n\tGabriela was in the kitchen making breakfast when I came downstairs the following morning. I walked in, wearing a T-shirt and sweat pants, and sniffed the air. \"Something smells good!\" I commented.\n\tShe smiled at me. \"You like bacon and eggs?\"\n\t\"Love 'em!\" I replied. I climbed up on a chair, and she brought me a plate laden with scrambled eggs and juicy strips of bacon. I dug in, and she stood there watching me as I ate. Humans often do that. I'm something new and strange to them—someone who looks like an animal but acts like a human being. I arouse their curiosity. Julie had done the same thing at first. I didn't let it bother me.\n\t\"This is good!\" I said, shoveling the fluffy eggs into my mouth.\n\t\"Thank you,\" she replied. \"I added a little salsa. I didn't want to make it too hot. I didn't know if you like spicy food.\"\n\t\"I like spicy food just fine,\" I said.\n\t\"Good!\" She sat down at the table. \"So, you and Julie live together in Millennium City?\"\n\t\"Mmhmm,\" I said as I ate. \"And yes, we sleep together, too.\"\n\t\"I gathered, since Conrad told me to prepare only one guest room for both of you. It's good that you've found someone who loves you.\" She smiled.\n\tI glanced up at her. \"The way you found Conrad?\"\n\tShe blinked. \"What? How did you—?\"\n\t\"It wasn't hard to guess,\" I replied. \"The comment about a broken heart was kind of a giveaway.\"\n\tShe bit her lip. \"It wasn't what you're thinking.\"\n\t\"What am I thinking?\"\n\t\"That I was after his money.\"\n\tI shrugged. \"I won't say the thought didn't cross my mind. But people don't usually get broken hearts when all they care about is money. In any case, it's none of my business.\"\n\tThe doorbell rang, and Gabriela and I looked at each other. \"Were you expecting anyone?\" I asked.\n\tShe shook her head. \"No.\"\n\tI hopped down off my chair, went to the front door with Gabriela following behind, and opened it. It was Randall's butler, Stevens. He was a thin, balding man with a long nose who looked exactly like a butler. \"May I come in, sir?\" he asked anxiously.\n\t\"Certainly,\" I said, stepping aside and closing the door behind him after he entered. \"What can we do for you?\"\n\tStevens reached into his coat pocket and produced two objects. One was a scabbard for a dagger. The other was a brown glass bottle with a label on it. \"I thought you ought to know, sir, I saw my employer, Mr. Morris, conceal these under a rock in the garden.\" He handed them to me.\n\tThe scabbard was same one that had been sticking out of Conrad's sash in the photograph, the mate of the dagger that had killed Margot. I examined the bottle. It was empty. The label identified it as having once contained scopolamine. I looked up at Stevens. \"Why didn't you take them to the police?\" I asked.\n\t\"To be quite frank, sir,\" Stevens replied, \"I'm not entirely certain that I trust Inspector Larsen.\"\n\tI smirked. \"Smart move. When did you see Mr. Morris do this?\"\n\t\"It was about three o'clock this morning, sir,\" said Stevens. \"It was moonlight, and I was looking out of my window.\" He sighed, looking weary and morose. \"I'm having difficulty sleeping, after my part in poor Henry's death.\"\n\t\"I'm not surprised,\" I said. \"Stevens, would you be willing to sign an affidavit saying you saw Randall Morris try to hide these?\"\n\tStevens nodded. \"Certainly, sir.\"\n\t\"You realize it could cost you your job, right?\"\n\t\"I've already given my notice, sir,\" said Stevens. \"I simply couldn't go on living in that house, not with the way Scotty and his mother look at me, like I'm some sort of monster. Of course, I can hardly blame them.\"\n\tI nodded. I could see that the guilt over killing Henry was weighing heavily on him. It's a hard thing, knowing you've taken a life. It's something I have to live with every day.\n\tOnce Stevens had done what I'd asked of him and departed, I stood in the living room, holding the scabbard in one hand and the bottle in the other. \"Interesting,\" I said, regarding each item.\n \t\"Why do you suppose Mr. Morris hid those?\" Gabriela asked.\n\t\"Because he's trying to cover for someone,\" I replied. \"But why would he be covering for Connie? He and Connie didn't have any kind of close relationship, did they?\" I looked up at her.\n\t\"Not that I know of,\" said Gabriela. \"But then, I've never been to the Morris house.\" She indicated the bottle. \"What's in that?\"\n\t\"It's empty now, but it used to contain scopolamine, an alkaloid derived from the nightshade family of plants. It's sometimes used as a truth serum, because it can put people into a zombie-like state where they're highly susceptible to suggestion.\" \n\tJust then, my cell phone buzzed. I took it out and checked to see who was calling. It was Julie. \"Hey!\" I said into it, grinning happily. \"Larsen finally get tired of giving you the third degree?\"\n\t\"I think he realized he wasn't getting anywhere and gave up,\" Julie replied. \"He's charged me with grand larceny. Could you come over and post my bail, please?\"\n\t\"I'll be right there.\" I turned to Gabriela. \"Can you drive me to police headquarters?\"\n\t\"Sure,\" she replied. \"It's the least I can do.\"\n\t\"Thanks.\" I spoke into the phone. \"I'll be right over, honey. Sit tight.\"\n\t\"Thanks,\" said Julie. \"I love you, Alvin.\"\n\t\"I love you too, Julie.\" I hung up and ran upstairs to change.\n\n\tSorting out all the business at police headquarters took most of the rest of the day, so the ice-blue winter sky was growing dark by the time Julie, Gabriela, and I arrived back at Conrad's house after picking up a bucket of fried chicken along the way. Now we sat around the dining room table, munching on the crispy, greasy body parts of deceased avians.\n\t\"But everything points to Connie, Alvin,\" said Julie as we ate. \"First, he threatened Margot and said he'd be back.\"\n\t\"Yes, he did,\" I said, nodding as I nibbled on a crunchy thigh.\n\t\"Second, the footprints in the room with my father's body matched his shoe size and were made by someone his height.\"\n\t\"Also true.\"\n\t\"Third, you learned that the dagger had been given to him by my father that same day!\"\n\t\"And,\" Gabriela added, \"he also tried to kill us all because he was afraid we were getting too close!\"\n\t\"Don't overlook the little matter of Randall trying to hide that scabbard and the bottle of scopolamine,\" I reminded them. I inspected the thigh I'd been chewing on. It was denuded of flesh. \"Pass me a drumstick, would you, Julie?\"\n\t\"Yes, that's right,\" said Julie thoughtfully as she passed me a drumstick.\n\t\"Scopolamine played an important part in those murders,\" I said, \"at least in Margot's. And Connie didn't have a chance to slip it to her.\"\n\t\"What's the effect of scopolamine?\" Gabriela asked.\n\t\"It dilates the pupils and causes sudden weariness and a desire for sleep,\" I replied.\n\t\"Why, that exactly describes Margot after she came in from the porch with my father!\" Julie said.\n\t\"I'll be polite and concede you one murder for Connie,\" I said, biting into the drumstick.\n\t\"Thanks,\" said Julie, \"but why not both?\"\n\tI didn't reply immediately, because I was busy gnawing on the chicken leg. Even my big chompers were finding it a challenge. \"Wow!\" I remarked. \"This bird must have been dead for a while before they fried it. The flesh is so tough it feels like rigor mortis has set in.\" Then I stopped gnawing as I had an epiphany. Suddenly, all the pieces fell into place. I sat there with my eyes wide, staring blankly at nothing. \"Son of a bitch!\"\n\t\"Alvin?\" Julie asked, as she and Gabriela both peered at me curiously. \"Are you okay?\"\n\t\"No, I'm not,\" I replied. \"I'm an idiot. It was staring me right in the face, and I missed it. Nighthawk would be ashamed of me.\"\n\t\"What are you talking about?\" Julie asked.\n\tI whipped out my cell phone. \"Does Stevens have a personal number?\"\n\t\"I don't think so.\"\n\t\"Never mind. Do you have the number of the Morris house phone?\"\n\tJulie nodded and gave it to me, and I dialed it and waited for someone to answer.\n\t\"I know that look,\" Julie said. \"You've figured something out. What is it?\"\n\t\"You'll see when I get a whack at Stevens,\" I replied.\n\t\"Are you seriously saying the butler did it?\" asked Gabriela, looking amused. \"That nice old man?\"\n\t\"That nice old man killed Henry Turkel,\" I reminded her.\n\t\"But that was an accident!\" Julie protested. \"Alvin, you're impossible!\"\n\t\"I wouldn't go that far,\" I replied. \"I [i]am[/i] highly improbable. I'll admit I was in the dark, but thanks to this chicken, I've seen the light.\" I held up the drumstick and kissed it.\n\tSomeone at the Morris house finally answered the phone. It was Stevens. \"Morris residence,\" he said.\n\t\"Hello, Stevens,\" I said. \"It's nothing serious, I just want to ask a few questions. Tell me, was Connie Martins at the Morris house on the day of the murders?\"\n\t\"Yes, sir,\" Stevens replied. \"He came to deliver champagne for the party. Mr. Morris often purchased alcohol from his club, at Miss Margot's request. I believe she wanted to help her former stepson by providing him with some business.\"\n\tI smirked. \"How thoughtful of her. What time was he there?\"\n\t\"Oh, I should say about half past twelve, sir.\"\n\tI glanced at Gabriela. \"When did Connie leave here?\" I asked.\n\t\"Around noon,\" she replied.\n\t\"So he must have gone to the Morris place next.\"\n\t\"Yes,\" said Stevens. \"I recall him saying he'd just come from his father's house.\"\n\t\"And I imagine he hung his coat by the door,\" I said.\n\t\"Yes, sir,\" said Stevens. \"He had to arrange some wine in the cellar.\"\n\t\"So, anyone who came by could have seen it.\"\n\t\"Yes, sir.\"\n\tI nodded. That tied it all together beautifully. \"Stevens, could you tell Mr. Morris and his sister and nephew to come over here right away? Tell them I have a surprise for them.\"\n\t\"A surprise?\" Stevens asked. \"Certainly, sir.\"\n\t\"Thank you,\" I said, and hung up. Then I called police headquarters. \"Inspector Larsen, please.\" I waited while someone got him.\n\t\"What do [i]you[/i] want?\" Larsen asked, sourly.\n\t\"Hello, Inspector,\" I said cheerfully. \"Could you come over to the Martins house right away? I've figured out who killed Conrad Martins and Margot Turkel, and I thought you'd like a chance to challenge my findings.\"\n\t\"What?\" Larsen sounded surprised, angry and curious all at once. \"Now listen to me—\"\n\t\"No, [i]you[/i] listen, Inspector!\" I snapped. \"I tried to stay out of your way, but you've made a complete botch of this case from the very start! If you can't be bothered to come and try to refute what I'm going to say, that's fine with me! You can read all about it in tomorrow's paper!\" And I hung up.\n\t\"He's going to arrest you, you know,\" said Julie.\n\tI grinned at her. \"For what? For talking about a case he's already declared closed? Last time I checked, freedom of speech was still a thing.\" I sat back and sank my big buck teeth into that drumstick. It was tough, but good.\n\n\tRandall Morris, Alice Turkel, and Scotty Turkel arrived about twenty minutes later. Gabriela greeted them at the door and escorted them into the living room, where Julie and I were waiting for them, Julie sitting on a couch while I stood with my back to the crackling fireplace, hands in the pockets of my leather jacket. I reflected that I should be wearing a velvet smoking jacket and smoking a pipe, but Conrad's smoking jacket wouldn't fit me and I don't smoke. Gabriela asked them if they'd like anything to drink and went to the bar to fulfill their requests as they sat down.\n\t\"So, what's this all about?\" Randall asked, as Gabriela handed him his drink. \"You said you had a surprise for us?\"\n\tI nodded. \"A big one.\"\n\t\"What is it?\" Alice asked.\n\t\"I'd prefer to wait until someone else I've invited arrives,\" I replied. \"I doubt he'll be long.\"\n\t\"Well,\" Alice remarked, \"this certainly is melodramatic!\"\n\tScotty smirked. \"Imagine, someone who runs around on rooftops in a ridiculous costume being melodramatic!\"\n\tI smiled at him. \"Scotty, you've been a complete dick to me ever since we first met, and I can't think of anything I've done to deserve it. I can only conclude that you don't like me because I'm a manimal. After tonight, I assure you, you're [i]really[/i] going to hate me.\"\n\tScotty frowned. \"What do you mean by that?\"\n\tBefore I could reply, the doorbell rang. Gabriela went to answer it and returned with Inspector Larsen, who glared at me, his big fists clenched. I smiled back at him amiably. \"Good evening, Inspector,\" I said. \"Nice of you to come.\"\n\tLarsen nodded to Randall, Alice, and Scotty, and then looked back at me. \"All right,\" he said. \"Let's hear it.\"\n\t\"Hear what?\" Randall asked.\n\t\"He claims to know who committed the murders.\"\n\tAlice blinked. \"I was under the impression you had determined that it was my late son, Henry.\"\n\tRandall snorted. \"Of course it was! Alvin is just grandstanding.\"\n\t\"No,\" I said, \"I'm trying to bring a murderer to justice, one who Inspector Larsen here would have let go free if he had his way. That's partly why I called you all here. I want as many people as possible to hear what I have to say. But, before I begin, I have a confession to make.\" I paused and took a deep breath. \"I'm a bad detective. I committed two serious blunders during this case, the nature of which will become apparent as we go along.\"\n\tScotty chuckled. \"So, you admit you're incompetent!\"\n\tI shrugged. \"I admit I made mistakes. But at least I didn't bow to pressure and try to conceal the truth and suppress evidence.\" My eyes fixed on Larsen.\n\tLarsen glowered back at me. \"Are you accusing me of professional misconduct?\"\n\tI returned his look with equal animosity. \"Henry Turkel's only victim was his doctor's dog, Boston. I examined the hair and blood on the pipe he was holding when he died. They weren't human hair and blood; they were canine.\"\n\t\"How did you get samples of them?\" Larsen demanded.\n\t\"I was with Henry when he died, remember? I took them from the pipe.\" That was a lie, of course, but I wasn't about to let Larsen put me in jail for breaking into police headquarters.\n\t\"So you say,\" said Larsen, with an unpleasant smile, \"but my forensics man disagrees, and he's the expert, not you!\"\n\tI nodded. \"I'm well aware that if it were just my word against his, I'd lose. That's why I called a forensics expert I know in Millennium City. She's on her way here with a court order to examine the evidence from this case. In fact, she's probably already arrived at police headquarters. I'm confident that her analysis will confirm my own. And please don't try to claim exclusive jurisdiction, Inspector, because it won't work.\" I turned to Randall. \"That evidence is going to be examined by someone who isn't one of your golf buddies, Mr. Morris, and there's nothing you can do about it.\"\n\tRandall sat up, furious. \"How dare you accuse me of—\"\n\t\"Mr. Morris,\" I said, reaching into my jacket and removing a folded piece of paper. \"This is an affidavit signed by your butler, Stevens, in which he swears under oath that he saw you attempt to hide the sheath for the dagger that killed Margot and a bottle labeled [i]scopolamine[/i]. That makes you guilty of obstruction of justice and of being an accessory to murder after the fact, both very serious crimes. I suggest you stop using your influence to shield a killer, and start using it to try to save your own skin.\"\n\tRandall just stared at me, unable to speak.\n\t\"Just a minute,\" said Larsen. \"Who administered the oath for that affidavit?\"\n\t\"I did,\" I replied.\n\tLarsen blinked. \"You?\"\n\tI nodded. \"As a registered hero, I have that authority.\"\n\t\"All right,\" said Larsen, apparently realizing he couldn't win there. \"But what does scopolamine have to do with anything?\"\n\t\"I'm getting to that,\" I replied. \"On the day of the murders, three significant events occurred leading up to them. First, at noon, Connie Martins came here to ask his father for money, as was his habit. Miss Ortiz here can confirm this. While he was here, he noticed this picture.\" I picked up the photograph and held it up so everyone could see it. \"It's of Conrad and Margot, taken at a costume ball Randall held a year ago. He noticed the dagger Conrad was wearing in the picture, and asked if he could have it. Conrad, who could deny his son nothing, gave it to him. Connie then drove to the Morris house to deliver champagne for Randall's party, carrying in his coat the dagger, which would later be used to kill Margot. He arrived at twelve-thirty, hung up his coat, and went down to the wine cellar.\n\t\"Second, during the party, Margot met Connie in the driveway to receive blackmail money from him. What she was blackmailing him for, we'll probably never know, but for our purposes, it doesn't matter. What matters is that Connie tried to kill her, and after I thwarted him he swore he'd come back and get what he came for—namely, the blackmail material. \n\t\"The third important event was that Margot was drugged with scopolamine after she and I returned from her meeting with Connie. It caused her pupils to become dilated and made her sleepy, which impelled Alice to take her to her room and put her to bed. This happened at ten o'clock, as Julie and I were about to turn in ourselves.\n\t\"Just before two in the morning, Connie returned, entering the house through a second-story window. He made his way to Margot's room and searched it for the blackmail material, but came up empty. While he was at it, he stole a string of pearls from Margot's vanity.\" I glanced at Julie. She said nothing, just sat there in silence, not looking at me. \"At about this time, Henry Turkel arrived, having escaped from the asylum where he was being treated, killing his doctor's dog in the process. He came for the pearls, which had been a gift from Conrad to Margot when they were married. After their divorce, Margot had refused to give them back. Henry was furious about this, calling the pearls 'a badge of infamy,' and was determined to make amends for his wife's dishonorable conduct by stealing them and returning them to Conrad. Unfortunately, this noble intention resulted in him being shot and killed by Stevens. The sound of the gunshots spooked Connie, who attempted to flee the house. Conrad surprised him while he was trying to make his escape, and, in a blind panic, Connie grabbed some heavy, blunt object and smashed his father's skull in.\"\n\t\"Why didn't he just use the dagger?\" Larsen asked.\n\t\"He couldn't,\" I replied. \"He knew everyone would suspect him of killing Margot. After all, I'd seen him try to kill her earlier. He had the presence of mind to realize he had to make it look as if Conrad had killed her, so he removed the dagger that was sticking out of Margot's body and placed it beside Conrad's.\"\n\t\"So Connie committed both murders,\" said Scotty, nodding in agreement with his own conclusion.\n\tI shook my head. \"No, Connie killed Conrad, but he didn't kill Margot. Margot had already been dead for four hours. That's where I made one of my two big blunders. The forensics man said he had a hard time getting Margot's rings off her fingers. That was because rigor mortis had set in, causing them to become stiff. I should have realized that at the time, but I missed it completely, and, at the urging of Randall Morris, Inspector Larsen told the coroner to set the time of Margot's death at two AM so he could say that Henry had killed her. In reality, Margot died at ten o'clock, just before Julie and I went to bed.\"\n\tJulie stared at me. \"But that's impossible! We heard Alice talking to Margot from the hallway!\"\n\tI nodded. \"We heard Alice talking to Margot, but we didn't hear Margot reply. She couldn't reply. She was dead.\"\n\t\"But, that would mean . . .\" Julie began. Then her voice trailed off. Every eye in the room was on Alice.\n\t\"That was the other thing I missed,\" I said, gazing at Alice. \"You told Julie and me that Margot was so tired she fell asleep the moment her head hit the pillow. But if that were true, you couldn't have been talking to her from the hallway. You spiked the rum coffee you'd set aside for her with scopolamine. Then, when she became sleepy, you took her upstairs and put her to bed. And as she lay there, unconscious and helpless, you stabbed her in the heart with the dagger you'd found in Connie's coat while he was in the wine cellar.\"\n\tScotty shook his head vehemently. \"This has gone far enough! I refuse to stand by while this creature accuses my mother of—\"\n\t\"Scotty, dear,\" said Alice quietly, \"do shut up.\"\n\tJulie stared at Alice in disbelief. \"But, you loved Margot!\"\n\tAlice gave Julie a hard look. \"Loved . . . her? The woman who drove one of my sons insane and had her sights set on the other one? No, I hated her.\" She clenched her fists, and her voice became a poisonous hiss. \"I [i]hated[/i] her!\" Then she rose and turned to Inspector Larsen. \"I'm ready to go, Inspector.\"\n\tLarsen swallowed. \"You confess to the murder of Margot Turkel?\"\n\tAlice nodded. \"You needn't bother reading me my rights. I shan't stand trial.\" She looked at us all. \"I received a diagnosis from my doctor several weeks ago, and I'm afraid it was rather bad. That's what gave me the courage to put an end to that horrid woman. At least I'd have the satisfaction of knowing that Scotty would be safe from her after I was gone.\" She gazed affectionately at her son, who was sitting on the couch in utter shock.\n\tI regarded Alice sadly. I'd never felt so bad about solving a case. She'd only been trying to protect her son. Scotty may have been a bigoted jerk, but a mother's love is a mother's love. \"I'm sorry, Mrs. Turkel,\" I said.\n\tAlice smiled at me. \"Don't be, Alvin. You were only doing what you thought was right, just as I was. My only regret is that my dear brother has gotten himself into trouble trying to cover up what I did.\" She looked at Randall.\n\t\"There's one thing I'm still unclear about,\" said Larsen. \"How did those pearls end up in Julie's suitcase?\"\n\t\"I imagine Connie planted them there while he and his men were lying in wait for us,\" I replied.\n\t\"Why would he do that?\"\n\t\"To frame her.\"\n\t\"But he intended to kill her!\"\n\t\"True, but he might have failed, especially since Nightmunk was with her. Connie was smart. The pearls were insurance. Once she was in prison, he could arrange to have her eliminated.\"\n\tLarsen pondered this for a moment. \"That's pretty thin.\"\n\tI took the affidavit out of my jacket. \"Would this make it thicker?\"\n\tLarsen nodded. \"It might.\"\n\t\"You can have it when the charges against Julie are dropped. Then you can destroy it, so there'll be no evidence of any wrongdoing on your buddy Randall's part, and I won't make any accusations of professional misconduct. It'll all be swept under the rug.\"\n\t\"Fair enough,\" said Larsen, as Randall sighed with relief.\n\tAlice smiled at me. \"Thank you, Alvin. You're a damn fine detective.\"\n\t\"You're welcome, Mrs. Turkel,\" I replied. I felt a little less bad now.\n\tShe turned to Larsen. \"Shall we be off, Inspector? I imagine this will be quite an interesting adventure. I'm eager to begin.\"\n\tLarsen nodded and led her away, and she walked off like the lady she was.\n\tRandall rose slowly from the couch, white and trembling. He looked at me. \"I . . . thank you.\"\n\tI shrugged. \"You were protecting someone you loved. That's more than Margot ever did.\"\n\tHe turned to his nephew. \"Come along, Scotty.\"\n\tScotty stood up, looked at me, shook his head, and left with his uncle.\n\t\"Lord, I need a drink!\" I said once they were gone.\n\t\"I'll second that,\" said Julie. We both went to the bar and helped ourselves to some of her father's excellent brandy, because brandy fixes everything.\n\t\n\tThe winter sky was a somber iron gray overhead as Julie and I stood in a snow-shrouded cemetery with the other mourners around Conrad's coffin while a minister did the whole \"ashes to ashes\" thing. I was wearing a black suit and tie, and Julie a black dress with a winter coat over her shoulders. I glanced up at her to see how she was doing. Her pretty face was as hard and expressionless as those of the stone angels perched atop some of the headstones around us. I felt sad for her. She'd come here to reconcile with her father, not to bury him. Beside the coffin lay the grave of Conrad's first wife, Julie's mother. Her name had been Eloise. Connie's body was not present. Julie had refused to allow her brother to be buried in the family plot. Who could blame her?\n\tI looked out across the crowd. Randall, Scotty, and Gabriela were here, along with a lot of people I didn't know plus a few I recognized from Randall's party. There were also some reporters, whose attention was focused mainly on me, the big celebrity. It had been all over the local news for the past few days that a manimal hero from Millennium City had helped Inspector Larsen crack the case. Whatever. I didn't really care about taking credit for helping to put a dying woman in jail. I noticed Scotty glaring at me. That was fine. He had every reason to hate me.\n\tThe service ended, and people began lining up to offer Julie their condolences, which she accepted with a curt nod and a thank you. I stood beside her, and a lot of them gawked at me as they went by. It wasn't hard to guess what was going through their inquiring minds.\n\tOnce the last well-wisher had gone by, Julie and I began heading back toward the car. A reporter came up and asked if he could talk to me, and I told him to get lost. When we arrived at the car, Gabriela was there waiting for us. \"There is something we must talk about,\" she said.\n\t\"What is it?\" Julie asked. \"Did my father owe you back wages or something?\"\n\tGabriela shook her head. \"No, it's nothing like that.\" She looked at Julie intently. \"You know Conrad and I were lovers.\"\n\tJulie nodded. \"Alvin told me.\"\n\t\"What I did not tell him is that I am carrying Conrad's child.\"\n\tJulie and I both stared at her. \"Well, that's great!\" I said, breaking into a grin. I looked up at Julie. \"You're going to have a little brother or sister!\"\n\t\"Well,\" said Julie, looking dazed, \"that's quite a surprise! Did my father know about this?\"\n\tGabriela nodded. \"Yes. He wanted to surprise you with it, but he never got the chance. He also planned to marry me, but again . . .\"\n\tJulie sighed. \"Look, I don't know what kind of arrangements Dad made in his will, but I assume he would have made sure that you and the baby would be provided for. If not, you will be. In any case, I don't really care about the house. You can live there if you want to. My life is in Millennium City, with Alvin.\" She smiled at me.\n\tGabriela smiled as well. \"I would like you to be the baby's godparents, if that's all right. After all, if it wasn't for you, it never would have had a chance to be born.\"\n\t\"I'd be honored,\" I said.\n\t\"Me too,\" said Julie.\n\tGabriela looked relieved. \"Good. Well, I wish you both happiness. Come and visit us sometime. [i]Vaya con Dios[/i].\"\n\t\"You too,\" said Julie. \n\tWe both got into the car. Julie sat staring straight ahead for a moment, then began giggling and banging her head against the steering wheel.\n\t\"Interesting reaction,\" I commented.\n\tJulie threw her head back against her seat. \"I'm just letting it all out. God, I'm going to have a sibling who's twenty-five years younger than me!\"\n\tI nodded. \"That's quite an age difference.\"\n\tShe looked at me. \"And you're going to be a godfather.\"\n\tI made like Brando. \"It was an offer I couldn't refuse!\"\n\tJulie laughed and shook her head. \"Alvin, you're impossible!\"\n\t\"No, just highly improbable.\" I looked at her. \"So, back to business?\"\n\tJulie nodded, turned the ignition key, and threw the car into gear, and we headed back toward Millennium City.\n", "writing_bbcode_parsed": "
A Death in the Family


a story set in the universe of Champions Online


\t"Alvin, you ready?" Julie called from the living room, sounding impatient.
\t"Just about," I replied, as I tried and failed for the third time to force my suitcase shut. I glared down at the thing. It was a slick, gray, vinyl American Tourister Expeditioner that was taller than me when standing on end. It lay there on the floor, taunting me with its refusal to close.
\tJulie Martins came into the bedroom of our Westside apartment to see what the holdup was. She was wearing a white sweater and blue jeans, her short, brown hair styled in a pixie cut. She folded her arms and looked annoyed. "You put your Nightmunk costume and gear in there, didn't you?"
\t"Of course I did," I grunted, climbing on top of the thing to see if an additional seventy pounds of chipmunk would do the trick. It didn't.
\t"For pity's sake, Alvin," said Julie, exasperated, "this is a family get-together, not a crime-fighting mission!"
\t"Always best to be prepared," I said, as I contemplated using a zip-tie to hold the case shut.
\tRolling her eyes, Julie came over and put her leather boot down on it, and I finally managed to secure the latch. "Think it'll stay shut?" she asked.
\tI straightened up. "Well, according to the commercials, an angry gorilla couldn't open one of these things."
\tJulie smirked. "I'll bet Dr. Silverback could manage it."
\t"Yeah, but he'd use a laser torch or something."
\tShe crouched down to be eye to eye with me. "I thought we were taking a break from being superheroes, Alvin. That's why I didn't pack my Nightfox costume or gear. I just want to have a nice, normal weekend and introduce you to my family."
\tI looked into her big brown eyes. "Funny thing about being a superhero, Julie. Trouble tends to find you, no matter where you go."
\t"Especially when you look for it," she said pointedly.
\tI put my hand over my heart. "I promise, I'm not going to go looking for any trouble. What would I find in Grand Rapids, anyway? Purse snatchers?"
\t"It may not be Millennium City, but there's still crime there."
\t"Let the local cops deal with it," I said. "As of this moment, Nightmunk is officially on vacation."
\tShe smiled and pressed her mouth to my muzzle, my big buck teeth rubbing her lips and my leathery nosepad against her pointed human nose. I chirred happily, putting my arms around her neck, the sleeves of my leather jacket brushing her skin. We stayed like that for a moment, and then our mouths parted and I smiled at her, our noses and foreheads touching. "I love you, Julie," I said.
\t"I love you too, Alvin," she replied. Then she stood up. "Come on, we've got a two-and-a-half-hour drive ahead of us, and I'm going to have to do it all, since your feet can't reach the pedals."
\t"Blame Dr. Moreau for giving me short legs," I said, dragging my case into the living room.
\tJulie grinned. "I would, but he gave me the rest of you as well." She stood aside as I lugged my heavy case out into the hall. Then she closed and locked the door behind us, and we headed downstairs together.

\tJulie and I drove west along I-96 in our rented car, across the monotonously flat, snow-blanketed southern Michigan farm country between Millennium City and Grand Rapids, skirting the state capital of Lansing along the way. Normally, I would use time like this to do research, but I reminded myself I was on vacation, so I spent most of the trip reading a mystery novel on my cell phone. It wasn't very good. I guessed who the killer was halfway through.
\tI hadn't known until a few days ago that Julie came from a wealthy family. She'd never talked about her past, and I'd never pried into it, though it would have been easy enough for me to do so. I'd actually been rather surprised when she told me, since when I'd first met her she'd been working as a waitress at a bar in Westside, the most run-down section of Millennium City, and living in an apartment building crummy enough to let a poor manimal refugee from Monster Island rent a room there. Her mother had died when Julie was sixteen, and her father had gotten remarried, to a younger woman Julie hadn't gotten along with. So when she'd been old enough, Julie had left Grand Rapids and settled in Millennium City, which had been the city of Detroit until the supervillain Doctor Destroyer had leveled it back in 1992. A year ago, Julie's father and stepmother had gotten divorced, and her former stepmother had married a younger man, who had subsequently suffered some sort of breakdown and was now in an institution. Julie was of the opinion that her former stepmother had driven him mad by fooling around with other men, but given that she apparently detested the woman, I wasn't sure how much stock to put in that. Anyway, it was none of my business.
\tWe pulled up before a rather daunting mansion in a very posh neighborhood. Grand Rapids is home to some of the richest families in Michigan, and Julie came from one of them. I stared up at the place as we got out of the car, our breaths misting before us. "This is where you grew up?" I asked, astonished.
\tJulie nodded. "This is the Martins family home, built in 1875. My great-great-great-grandfather made a fortune in the textiles business. He was one of those filthy robber barons. Owned a bunch of sweatshops in Detroit and Chicago."
\t"Lovely," I commented. "How do you suppose he'd feel about his great-great-great granddaughter sleeping with a chipmunk?"
\tShe looked at me and grinned. "He'd be horrified."
\tI nodded. "Good." We went up the marble stairs together.
\tJulie rang the bell, and after a minute the big, carved oaken door opened to reveal a large-framed portly man with gray hair and a mustache. He was wearing a velvet smoking jacket, dark trousers, and slippers. I recognized him from a picture Julie had shown me of him. He was Conrad Martins V, her father. His craggy face split in a smile when he saw his daughter, and he held out his arms to her and spoke in a deep baritone voice. "Julie!"
\tJulie smiled back shyly. "Hello, Daddy." They hugged each other.
\t"It's so good to see you again after such a long time!" Martins said, holding her close, a tear running down one cheek. He looked like this meant the world to him. Then he let go of her and looked down at me. I knew Julie had told him what to expect, but I wanted to see his reaction to meeting his daughter's chipmunk boyfriend in person. If he had any reservations, he didn't show them. He smiled and extended his hand to me. "You're obviously Alvin. Pleased to meet you."
\tI shook his hand. "Nice to meet you too, Mr. Martins," I said.
\t"Call me Conrad. Please, come in out of the cold." He stepped back to allow us inside, and we entered the foyer.
\t"This is quite a place," I said, looking up at the high ceilings.
\t"Yes, it is rather big, isn't it?" said Martins. "Then again, they had big families back then."
\t"Must be a pain to keep clean," I commented.
\t"I have a maid come in twice a week. Can I get you both something to drink? Brandy, perhaps?"
\t"That sounds wonderful," said Julie.
\tHe led us into an enormous living room that looked like something out of the Gilded Age, with a grand piano and a fully stocked bar against one wall, and we sat down on a red satin sofa while he poured brandy into two snifters and brought them over to us.
\t"How have you been, Daddy?" Julie asked, sipping her brandy with her legs crossed. I sipped mine as well. It was excellent.
\t"Fine, fine," he said. "Health is good, enjoying my solitude."
\tJulie nodded. "How's Connie?"
\tMartins sighed. "Being an ass, like always."
\t"Who's Connie?" I asked.
\t"My older brother," said Julie. "I take it he doesn't live here?" she asked her father.
\t"No, he has a place in the city," Martins replied.
\t"Does he ever visit?"
\t"Only when he needs money." He looked at his daughter. "You know, I've always admired that you never asked me for anything."
\t"Well, we didn't exactly part on the best of terms," said Julie.
\t"I know, and I'm sorry about that. I know you and Margot didn't like each other very much."
\tJulie smirked. "That's putting it lightly!"
\t"I was hoping we could heal some old wounds while you're here," said Martins. "Randall is throwing a party tonight. I'd like you and Alvin to attend."
\t"Will Margot be there?" Julie asked, raising an eyebrow.
\t"Of course! She's married to his nephew, after all." He leaned forward. "Julie, please, I'd really like to see the two of you patch things up."
\t"Why? She's not your wife anymore!"
\t"I know, but I still have feelings for her, and I don't like seeing people I care about angry at each other."
\tJulie considered it while I remained silent. I had no intention of getting involved in a family squabble. "Formal dress?" she asked, finally.
\t"You know how Randall loves to dress up."
\t"Well, that leaves us out, then. Alvin doesn't have anything to wear."
\t"Actually," said Martins, smiling, "I took the liberty of ordering a tuxedo in his size."
\tJulie blinked. "Did you now?"
\t"How did you know my measurements?" I asked, surprised.
\t"You are something of a public figure," Martins said to me. "I had my tailor estimate them from photographs of you." He looked back at Julie. "Please?"
\tJulie hesitated, then sighed. "Oh, all right!"
\tMartins smiled. "Thank you, Julie. The party starts at eight."
\t"Well, I suppose I'd better start getting ready, then," said Julie. She looked over at me. "If you're okay with this, Alvin."
\tI wasn't big on parties, but I didn't want to stand in the way, so I shrugged and said, "Why not? Sounds like it might be fun."
\tJulie smirked. "Fun? With Margot there? Yeah, we'll see about that!"
\t
\tThe last time I'd worn a tuxedo had been on the other-dimensional world of Zoolok, which was populated by animal people like myself. I'd had dinner at an elegant restaurant, danced with a beautiful fox lady, kissed her, and almost gone to bed with her. Superheroes lead weird lives. I watched my reflection in a full-length mirror as I tried to remember what she'd taught me about how to tie a bowtie.
\t"All these old dresses," said Julie, leafing through them as she stood before the closet trying to pick one.
\t"What costume shall the poor girl wear?" I mused as I messed with my tie.
\t"To all tomorrow's parties?" asked Julie.
\t"Hopefully, it won't last that long."
\t"It will, if I know Randall Morris." She turned around, holding up a green sequined dress against herself. "How's this?"
\tI turned and looked at it. "Well, at least it's not a hand-me-down dress from who knows where."
\tJulie smirked. "Not on this girl! At least, not in front of Margot."
\tI nodded. "So, what do I need to know about her?"
\tJulie began peeling off her clothes. "You mean other than the fact that she's an unfaithful, heartless, gold-digging whore?"
\t"Wow! Don't beat around the bush. Say what you really think!"
\tShe snickered. "Nothing I could possibly say could do justice to how evil that woman is. She slept with Connie, you know."
\tI stared at her. "Her own stepson?"
\t"Yep," said Julie. "I caught them in bed together."
\t"Does your father know about this?"
\t"Oh, I told him, but they both denied it. Margot claimed I was just saying it because I hated her, which I did. And Dad was so in love with her he refused to believe anything I told him about her. I finally got tired of him always taking her side, so I split."
\tI shook my head. "Did I just step into an episode of All My Children?"
\t"Pretty much," Julie said, stepping into her dress. "It's the one where the wayward daughter comes home with her new boyfriend. Who happens to be a chipmunk."
\t"Do you think your dad approves of me?" I asked.
\t"Dad's pretty open-minded. It's Connie I'm worried about. He's a jerk."
\t"I kind of gathered that."
\tJulie sighed. "Even when we were kids, he was lazy and irresponsible. Dad sent him to Harvard to make something of himself, but he flunked out his first year. Broke Dad's heart. Now all he does is party with his friends—some of whom are pretty shady characters—and hit Dad up for money."
\t"Sounds to me like the best thing your father could do would be to cut him off and force him to grow up," I said.
\tJulie nodded and looked at me, her eyes glistening. "You know he didn't even come to Mom's funeral?"
\tI went over to her, and she knelt down, and we hugged each other as she sobbed on my shoulder. I patted her on the back gently. "Maybe it's not too late," I whispered.
\t"You mean because my brother's still alive, and yours aren't?" Julie asked.
\t"I hadn't even considered that, but you're not wrong."
\tJulie let go of me and straightened up, regaining her composure. "We'll see."
\t"You ready to go?" I asked.
\tJulie nodded and smiled. "You look really cute in a tux, Alvin."
\tI grinned. "Thanks. I've never seen you in an evening dress before. Looks nice on you."
\t"What, this old thing?"
\tWe both laughed, she took my hand in hers, and we went downstairs together. Her father was waiting for us in the foyer, also decked out in a tux. He smiled when he saw us. "You look lovely, Julie!" he said.
\tShe smiled back shyly. "Thanks, Daddy."
\tHe turned his eyes to me. "And you look like quite the gentleman, Alvin!"
\t"Thank you, sir," I replied.
\t"Shall we?" Conrad asked. He helped Julie on with her coat, and we went out into the icy cold night, got in his Mercedes, and drove off.

\tThe Morris house was only a few minutes away and turned out to be another big Victorian mansion. There were about a dozen cars parked in front of it. Clearly, we were not the first to arrive. We got out of the Mercedes and walked up to the door, and Conrad rang the bell as I braced myself for all the stares that I knew were coming. You'd think I'd be used to it by now. Then again, I don't attend a lot of social gatherings.
\tA butler answered the door. He glanced down at me briefly, though his expression didn't change. I imagined Conrad had called ahead and told them what to expect. The butler greeted us, escorted us inside, and took Julie's coat, and we proceeded from the foyer into the living room.
\tThe room was crowded with a couple dozen people, the men all wearing tuxedos, the women in expensive-looking dresses. Someone was playing a piano over the dim babble of background conversation, and ice cubes were clinking in glasses beneath a crystal chandelier. A distinguished-looking, middle-aged, balding man with a salt-and-pepper mustache came forward to greet us, smiling. "Conrad! Glad you could make it!"
\t"Hello, Randall," said Conrad, giving him a firm handshake. "Yes, I managed to make some time in my busy schedule."
\t"Julie!" said Randall, grinning at her. "Nice to see you again! It's been far too long!" He shook her hand as well. Then he turned to me. "And we have a bonafide celebrity in our midst! Pleased to meet you, Alvin!"
\t"Nice to meet you too, Mr. Morris," I said, shaking his hand and smiling.
\t"Come on in and meet everyone!" said Randall, gesturing at the party guests, all of whom were staring at the furry little freak in a tux.
\tThen a woman came forward, smiling. She was wearing a white silk dress that rose to a string of pearls around her neck and left her arms bare. She had short, light brown hair, big blue eyes, high cheekbones, and a round face that smiled readily. She didn't appear to be much older than Julie. "Oh my, aren't you an eye-catcher?" she said, crouching down with her hands on her knees and looking at me. Then she extended a slender hand that bore several golden rings. "I'm Margot."
\tI took her bejeweled hand and squeezed it. "How do you do, Margot? I'm Alvin."
\t"Oh, I've heard all about you!" she said, teeth flashing. "I bet you've heard a lot of terrible things about me. Well, rest assured, they're all true!" She stood up and looked at Conrad. "How are you feeling, former husband?"
\t"About a million dollars lighter, since the divorce," Conrad replied with a chuckle.
\t"Eh, you'll live," said Margot. Then she turned to Julie. "Hello, Julie! Long time, no see!"
\tJulie forced a smile, and I could tell she was thinking it hadn't been nearly long enough. "Hello, Margot."
\t"You're late," said Margot. "The fun, if any, has begun. Mind if I borrow your boyfriend? I'll introduce him to everyone and blacken characters later, okay?"
\tI looked up at Julie, who simply shrugged, and then at Margot. "Perfect. Let's go."
\tMargot took my arm and led me through the crowd of gawkers to a woman in her forties who had short, curly brown hair and was wearing a blue paisley dress and pearls. "This is Alice Turkel, Randall's sister and my mother-in-law—the sweetest, finest woman in the whole world. Alice, this is Alvin, the famous crime-fighting manimal from Millennium City, and a real cutie to boot!"
\t"How do you do, Mrs. Turkel?" I said, bowing to Alice.
\tShe smiled down at me. "Hello, Alvin. Honored to meet you."
\t"I don't deserve her, really, a little siren like me," said Margot, grinning at Alice.
\t"I believe you," I replied, smiling.
\t"Oh, don't take Margot seriously," said Alice, smiling. "She'll never grow up. My my, Alvin, you really do look like your namesake, if you don't mind my saying!"
\t"Thank you," I said, "but I'm afraid the credit for that goes to my creator, Dr. Moreau."
\tAlice nodded. "I understand you're here with Conrad and Julie Martins?"
\t"Yes, they're around . . . somewhere," I said, looking for them.
\tMargot looked around as well, saw someone, and waved. "Oh, Scotty! Come, come!" A thin young man with neatly combed brown hair weaved through the crowd to join us. He glanced down at me uncomfortably. "This is little Scotty Turkel, good brother of my current husband. He wants me to divorce Henry and marry him. With my husband an incompetent, Scotty will inherit the family fortune!" She sounded delighted at the prospect, while Scotty blushed and squirmed.
\t"Oh, Margot," Alice admonished her, "you mustn't say such things, even in fun! Alvin doesn't understand!"
\t"He ought to," said Margot, grinning. "He's a detective!"
\t"A detective," Scotty snorted, looking down his nose at me with obvious disdain.
\t"I'm also on vacation," I added. "Don't forget that."
\t"And here's our host, old Father Time himself!" said Margot, as Randall, Conrad, and Julie came over to join us.
\t"Enjoying yourself, Alvin?" Randall asked.
\t"It's . . . very interesting," I replied, as politely as I could.
\t"There they are, darling," Margot said to me with cheerful malice in her voice, "all my main admirers, all under one tent. The naughty elephant, the big bad wolf, and the innocent little lamb," indicating Conrad, Randall, and Scotty in turn.
\tJulie shook her head and looked at her father apologetically. "I'm sorry, Dad. I can't do this." She glared at Margot. "Margot, you're a bitch. You've always been a bitch, and you always will be a bitch!" And with that, she turned and strode away.
\t"Julie!" Conrad called after her.
\t"Oh, let her go, darling," said Margot, sounding bored. "She never did have any appetite for fun."
\t"Excuse me," I said, and ran off after Julie.
\tI found her sitting in front of the piano. Whoever had been playing it earlier had apparently gone off to join the party. I climbed up onto the bench next to her, and she looked down at me. "I knew this was a bad idea," she said.
\tI nodded. "I didn't want to say anything, because it seemed so important to your father. He even bought me a tux. But, yeah, now that I'm here, I agree."
\tJulie sighed. "Margot hasn't changed a bit. If anything, she's gotten worse. She's like a reverse King Midas. Everything she touches turns to crap." She looked at me. "You know, I used to be in love with her current husband, Henry."
\t"The one who went crazy?" I asked.
\t"The one she drove crazy, with all her philandering. He was such a sweet, sensitive boy. I hate to think what she put him through."
\t"I didn't know you liked the sensitive type," I said.
\t"I liked Henry. He was so gentle and kind."
\tI smirked. "Not at all like the tough, mean chipmunk you're with now."
\tJulie smiled at me. "You can be gentle and kind, Alvin. Sometimes." Then she sighed. "And now Randall tells me she's after Henry's brother, Scotty."
\t"So I heard. From what I saw of Scotty, it looks like they deserve each other."
\t"Well, Scotty always was kind of a jerk."
\t"He certainly doesn't seem to care much for manimals."
\t"Considering he has the hots for Margot, that pretty much says all that needs to be said about his taste and judgment. I bet they're already sleeping together."
\t"And what does being with me say about yours?" I asked.
\tJulie grinned. "That I have funny taste in men."
\tI chuckled, placed my fingers on the piano keys, and started playing "My Funny Valentine."
\tJulie blinked in surprise. "I didn't know you could play piano!"
\t"Dr. Moreau created me and my brothers to entertain him," I said as I continued playing. "We each had to learn to play several musical instruments. I can also play guitar, banjo, and violin." I frowned down at the keys. "The problem with this song is, Rodgers and Hart didn't write it for someone with only eight fingers."
\tJulie shrugged. "Sounds fine to me."
\t"Thanks," I replied. Then I started singing the lyrics—softly, because it's that kind of song:

\tMy funny valentine
\tSweet comic valentine
\tYou make me smile with my heart
\tYour looks are laughable
\tUnphotographable
\tYet you're my favorite work of art
\tIs your figure less than Greek?
\tIs your mouth a little weak?
\tWhen you open it to speak
\tAre you smart?
\tBut don't change a hair for me
\tNot if you care for me
\tStay, little valentine, stay
\tEach day is Valentine's Day

\tA group of party guests had gathered around to listen, and they applauded when I finished. I thanked them, smiling and blushing beneath my fur. It was nice to be appreciated for the thing I was made to do. Then I felt Julie squeeze my hand. "The Wicked Witch of the Mid-West is back," she whispered.
\tI turned toward Margot as she came over to join us. "Giving a little concert, are we, darling?" she asked me, smiling.
\tI nodded. "Yeah, in this tux and this setting, I feel like George Gershwin."
\t"Play 'Anything Goes,'" said one of the guests, laughing.
\t"That's Cole Porter," I replied.
\t"Well, if you're taking requests," said Margot, "I have one for you."
\t"Sure, what is it?" I asked.
\t"Could we talk in private?"
\tI looked up at Julie, who was pointedly ignoring her former stepmother. She didn't give me a sign either way, so I hopped down off the piano bench and let Margot lead me to the foyer.
\t"I'm meeting someone in the driveway who I want to get rid of as quickly as I can," said Margot once we were alone. "If I'm not back in a moment or two, come and look for me."
\tI chuckled. "And rescue the fair maiden in distress?"
\t"I'm not kidding," said Margot. Her practiced insouciance was gone now, and the concern on her face appeared genuine.
\t"All right," I said.
\t"Thanks, darling," said Margot, relieved. "You're a real hero." She bent down and kissed my furry cheek, then threw a fur wrap over her bare shoulders, opened the door, and went outside into the freezing night air as I stood in the foyer, watching.
\tThere was a car in the driveway, and a tall blond man standing beside it. He didn't look especially happy. Margot went up to him, and they started talking. I couldn't make out what they were saying, but it didn't appear to be an amicable conversation. This was confirmed a moment later when the man seized her by the neck with both hands. I ran down the steps and leaped at him, socking him in the jaw. He let go of Margot and fell against the car, slumping to the ground.
\t"Thanks," Margot said, breathing heavily and clutching her disheveled dress against her bosom.
\t"Well," I said, "now that the fair maiden in distress has been rescued, what do we play next?"
\t"Let's play hide and seek," said Margot, still clutching her dress. "Hide your eyes, darling."
\tI turned around so she could fix her dress in privacy.
\t"You can look now," said Margot. I turned back around to face her. Her dress was fixed, and the man's coat was open. Before, it had been closed. "The gentleman you see below is none other than my former stepson and your girlfriend's ne'er-do-well brother, Connie Martins. He's partners in a nightclub in Grand Rapids that enjoys a very evil reputation. We must go sometime."
\t"Thanks," I said, "but—"
\t"No, none of that," said Margot. "I never take 'no' for an answer, darling—especially from men."
\tI smirked. "You probably don't hear it very often."
\tConnie groaned and rubbed his jaw. He opened his eyes, and they widened when he saw me. "What the hell is that?" he asked.
\t"Pardon me," said Margot. "Alvin, allow me to introduce Mr. Conrad Martins VI. Connie, Alvin."
\t"Hello, Mr. Martins," I said, smiling at him.
\tConnie got to his feet, glaring at me. "Did this little freak hit me?"
\t"Alvin is also the famous superhero Nightmunk from Millennium City," said Margot, clearly enjoying herself.
\tConnie whirled on her in alarm. "Superhero? Why, you double-crossing, two-timing—"
\t"Two-timing?" asked Margot. "Connie, you don't know the half of it!"
\t"You haven't been shooting your mouth off, have you?" Connie demanded.
\t"No, not yet," Margot replied. "Well, goodbye, Connie. You're leaving."
\t"All right," Connie growled, "but I'll be back, and when I do, I'll get what I came for!" He got in his car, slammed the door, and drove away.
\t"He was fun," I commented.
\tMargot laughed. "Imagine how much more fun he would have been if he knew you were dating his sister!"
\tI nodded. "Shall we rejoin the party?"
\tMargot took my hand in hers, and we went back inside.
\tThe party was still going full steam as Margot and I made our way into the living room. I looked around for Julie, but I didn't see her. Perhaps she was powdering her nose. Conrad, Alice, Scotty, Randall, and several other people were standing around a table, holding drinks and talking. I realized as we approached that the topic of conversation was me and Julie. We both paused a moment to eavesdrop.
\t"So, you actually approve of your daughter dating that . . . creature?" Scotty asked Conrad, sounding repulsed by the idea.
\t"Whether I approve or not doesn't matter," said Conrad. "Julie's a big girl. She can decide for herself what she wants . . . and who she wants. She always has before."
\t"Couldn't you threaten to cut her off?" Scotty asked.
\tConrad shook his head. "Julie hasn't taken a cent from me in five years."
\t"I hear he's a respected member of Millennium City's superhero community," said Alice.
\tScotty sniffed. "Freaks, all of them!"
\tRandall grinned at his nephew. "Let's hear you say that the next time some supervillain goes on a rampage. Anyway, what's it to you? As long as they're happy together, where's the harm?"
\t"I just think it's disgusting," said Scotty. "He's not even human!"
\t"I think it's rather sweet," said Alice. "And human or not, Alvin seems nice enough." Then she noticed me and Margot. "Ah, there you are! You're just in time for some of Conrad's famous rum coffee. I saved some for you. I was afraid it'd all be gone by the time you got back." She handed glasses of hot, dark liquid to me and Margot.
\t"Thanks, Alice, dear," said Margot, sipping her drink.
\t"How do you like it, Margot?" Conrad asked.
\t"It's perfect!" Margot replied, smiling.
\tI took an experimental sip from my glass and nodded to Conrad. "Good stuff!"
\t"Thank you!" said Conrad, looking pleased.
\t"Hey, everyone," said Margot, "this stuff ought to change our luck. Let's try the wheel again!"
\t"Good idea!" said Randall. "Nobody can lose now!" They all went over to a miniature roulette table that had been set up in the living room for the party.
\t"I'm broke, Conrad," said Margot. "You'll have to stake me again."
\tConrad frowned. "I want to speak to you, Margot." He took her by the arm and led her into an adjoining room. Scotty followed them, apparently intent on overhearing whatever it was Conrad wanted to speak to her about.
\tAlice watched them go, then turned to me. "Margot looks worn out, poor child."
\t"She's had a very exciting evening," I said. "If you'll excuse me." I headed off to look for Julie.
\tShe was in the hallway by herself, looking at her cell phone. She glanced up as I approached. "There's a blizzard coming," she said. "A big one. Alice was offering to let everyone stay over, rather than drive home in the storm."
\t"That sounds like a good idea," I said. "Most of them are probably too drunk to drive anyway."
\t"So, how did you find Margot?" Julie asked.
\tI smirked. "A little too tart for my tastes."
\tShe chuckled. "What did she want to talk to you about?"
\t"Actually, she just wanted me along as insurance. It was your brother she wanted to talk to."
\tJulie blinked. "Connie's here?"
\t"He was, for a few minutes. He left after I punched him out when he tried to strangle Margot in the driveway."
\tJulie gasped. "Connie tried to kill Margot?"
\tI nodded. "She took something off him, but I didn't get a chance to see what it was."
\t"Alvin, what is going on?" Julie asked.
\t"There's one word that would cause all of this to make sense," I replied. "Blackmail."
\tJulie stared at me. "You think Connie's blackmailing Margot?"
\tI shook my head. "A blackmailer doesn't try to strangle their victim. I think Margot's blackmailing Connie."
\t"That doesn't make any sense!" Julie protested. "She took dad for a million bucks in the divorce settlement! She doesn't need money!"
\tI shrugged. "You said they used to be lovers. Maybe he did something that pissed her off and she's doing it out of spite. It's happened before."
\t"Should we call the police?" Julie asked.
\t"And tell them what? We have no proof, and Margot and Connie will just deny everything. Anyway, I'm not sure I care enough to bother."
\tJulie sighed. "I'm sorry."
\tI raised an eyebrow. "For what?"
\t"For dragging you into this freakshow that passes for a family!"
\tI smiled. "I don't mind. It's actually kind of refreshing, being around ordinary people with ordinary problems."
\tWe were interrupted as Alice and Margot came down the hall, Conrad just behind. Alice was supporting Margot, who looked half asleep. Margot put her hand on my shoulder and squeezed it, smiling weakly. "Good night, darling."
\t"Turning in early?" I asked. "It's only ten o'clock."
\t"Margot's overtaxed herself," said Alice, smiling gently at her. "I'm going to take her upstairs and put her to bed." She looked at me, Julie, and Conrad. "Will you be staying the night? We have plenty of guest rooms, and it's already snowing like crazy outside."
\t"I think that might be best," said Conrad.
\t"Very well," said Alice. Then she paused, no doubt trying to decide how to phrase the next question delicately. "Will you be needing two rooms, or three?"
\tI didn't much care if these people knew that Julie and I were sleeping together, but I also didn't know if Julie had told her father yet, and I didn't want to embarrass her in front of him by saying it. I looked up at her, letting her answer for us.
\t"Alvin and I will only need one room," Julie said.
\tWell, there it was. Now they all knew. Alice just smiled and nodded before helping Margot up the stairs, leaving me and Julie with Conrad.
\t"Daddy—" Julie began, and stopped when Conrad held up his hand.
\t"It's your life, Julie," he said. "I've never tried to tell you what to do, and you wouldn't listen anyway." Then he smiled. "But, for what it's worth, I think you could do a lot worse."
\tJulie smiled and threw her arms around her father, hugging him. "Thank you, daddy!"
\tConrad patted his daughter on the back, then looked down at me. "You look after her."
\tI nodded. "I will, sir."
\tJulie put a hand atop my head and tousled my hair. "You know, I think I could turn in myself. It's been a long day."
\t"You won't get any argument from me," I replied, smiling up at her.
\t"Well, I hope you don't mind if I go back and rejoin the party," said Conrad. "Sleep well, you two!" He waved and headed back toward the living room.
\t"Good night, daddy!" Julie said. We turned and went up the stairs to the second floor.
\tAlice was standing in the hallway, speaking through a door that was open just a crack. "What's that, dear?" she asked, then laughed at a reply we couldn't hear. "Absolutely! Well, sweet dreams!" She closed the door and turned to face us. "Poor dear," she said. "She fell asleep the instant her head touched the pillow."
\tI nodded. "Is there any particular room we should use, Mrs. Turkel?"
\t"Oh, any room on this floor will be fine," she replied. "Are you going to bed?"
\tJulie nodded. "Yes, it was a long drive and we're both pretty tired."
\tAlice smiled. "Well, sweet dreams to you both, then." She walked past us and headed back downstairs. Julie and I picked a room and went inside, closing the door behind us.
\t"So," I asked, as I began slipping out of my tux, "how long do you think before everyone downstairs is talking about us?"
\t"I imagine they were already doing that before we got here," Julie replied.
\tI nodded. "As long as you're cool with it."
\t"Alvin, I accepted when we became lovers that people were always going to talk about us."
\t"Yeah, but these are people you know. You should have heard what Scotty was saying."
\t"To hell with Scotty! He's an asshole! He always was!"
\t"Yeah, I kinda got that."
\tJulie crouched down and took my fuzzy face in her hands, looking into my eyes. "I love you, Alvin. I'm not ashamed of it, and I don't care what anyone says."
\tI smiled at her. "You're amazing, Julie."
\tShe smiled back. "I know. Dibs on the bathroom." And she ran past me into the bathroom and closed the door.
\tI took the rest of my clothes off and climbed into bed, lying there thinking how lucky I was to have someone like her in my life.

\tAnd what costume shall the poor girl wear
\tTo all tomorrow's parties
\tA hand-me-down dress from who knows where
\tTo all tomorrow's parties
\tAnd where will she go, and what shall she do
\tWhen midnight comes around
\tShe'll turn once more to Sunday's clown
\tAnd cry behind the door
\t\t\t\t--The Velvet Underground

\tI awoke to the sound of gunshots. I sat bolt upright and glanced at the small digital clock on the nightstand. It was just after two in the morning. Then I realized that Julie wasn't in bed with me. That was odd. I hopped out of bed, pulled on my trousers, and ran out into the hall and down the stairs. Party guests were running toward the front door, which was open. I joined them.
\tIt was snowing heavily outside, and a crowd of people were gathered in the front yard. I could see Randall, Alice, Scotty, and the butler among them. The butler was holding a revolver, his face ashen. Scotty had his arms around his mother, who was clutching her fists to her face. Randall was crouching over someone lying in the snow and shouting into his cell phone, "Send an ambulance to 3295 Kirkshire immediately! Someone's been shot!"
\t"How did he get away from that place?" Alice moaned. "Why did he come here?"
\t"What happened?" I asked, crouching beside the prone figure. It was a young man wearing a robe, pajamas, and slippers, with a large red stain spreading across his chest. I didn't recognize him from the party, but then I hadn't been paying much attention to the guests.
\t"This fool here shot my brother!" said Scotty, glaring at the butler.
\t"He was on the roof, sir!" the butler protested. "I thought he was a burglar!"
\t"Will he be all right?" Alice asked me desperately as I examined her son.
\t"I'm afraid not," I replied. "That gunshot wound was bad enough, and the fall from the roof didn't help any."
\tHenry Turkel gurgled around a mouthful of blood as he tried to speak. Alice knelt down next to him, Scotty hovering over her. "Yes, darling, it's mother," she said, her voice quavering.
\t"I killed . . . that dirty cur . . ." Henry gasped. Then his eyes went blank, and his body went limp.
\tI checked for a pulse. There wasn't one. I looked up at Alice. "I'm sorry, Mrs. Turkel. He's gone."
\tAlice broke down, sobbing, and Scotty held his mother, trying to comfort her as tears ran down his cheeks. My throat tightened. Scotty may have been a bigoted jerk, but a brother's love is a brother's love. I'd been twice before where he was now. I knew how it felt.
\tI hugged myself, shivering. I was outside, in a blizzard, wearing only a pair of trousers. My fur was helping stave off hypothermia, but even so, I had to get out of the cold quickly. Then I noticed that Henry had been holding something in his right hand. It was a short length of iron pipe. There was blood on it, and bits of hair.
\tI stood up and addressed the crowd. "Nobody touch anything," I said.
\t"Who do you think you are, giving us orders?" Scotty demanded, and any sympathy I'd had for him immediately evaporated.
\t"I'm a registered hero," I shot back. "I think that gives me some authority here."
\t"Oh, a hero!" Scotty sneered. "What do you do, sing at villains with that squeaky voice until they surrender?"
\tAs I tried to think of a suitable reply, a woman's scream came from inside the house. I turned and ran back through the front door.
\t"It came from upstairs!" one of the guests told me, and I bolted up the stairs and ran down the hallway. I stopped before an open door and peered into the room. Lying sprawled on his back on the floor was Conrad. Standing before him, holding a knife that was covered in blood, was Julie.
\tShe was wearing a robe, her feet were bare, and her face was devoid of expression. She didn't react as I came in. She appeared to be in shock. I knelt down beside Conrad, lifted his wrist, and checked his pulse. He was dead, but his flesh was still warm, his arm flexible. He hadn't been dead for long. I also noticed that he hadn't been stabbed. Instead, the left side of his head had been smashed in by some blunt object . . . much like the pipe Henry had been holding. I stood up and turned to Julie.
\t"Julie?" I said. "Are you there?" She looked down at me, and nodded mutely. "What happened?" I asked.
\tIt took a moment for her to answer. "I heard the shots," she said at last, her voice quiet and flat. "I was going to check it out. I passed this door, and saw . . ." Then she shuddered, and the knife fell from her hand as it all came crashing in on her. Delayed reaction. Not uncommon in situations like this. She cried out in anguish and rushed toward Conrad's body. "Daddy!"
\tI caught her and held her back. I could do that, because I'm strong for my size. "There's nothing you can do for him," I whispered, holding her tightly. Then I looked up into her glistening eyes. "Baby . . . honey . . . where did you get the knife?"
\tShe swallowed, trembling in my arms. "It . . . it was lying on the floor, by his right hand."
\tRandall appeared in the doorway. "What's going on in here?" he asked.
\t"Conrad's dead," I replied, still holding Julie.
\tRandall gasped. "Oh my God!"
\tI looked up at Julie again. "Julie, can you walk? Are you functional?"
\tShe sucked in a breath through clenched teeth and nodded quickly.
\t"I need you to go downstairs with Randall and wait for the police," I said. "I have to look around up here. Okay?" She nodded again, and Randall gently led her away. Then I went to work.
\tI crouched down and inspected the knife. It was an ornate dagger with a carved wooden handle. That handle didn't look as if it would take prints very well, and Julie's holding it would have obliterated the killer's prints anyway, assuming of course that she wasn't . . . I pushed that thought aside. But if it hadn't been used to kill Conrad, whose blood was on it? Was there a third body lying around somewhere?
\tI noticed that the curtain was fluttering. I went over to the window. There were wet footprints on the floor in front of it from a man's dress shoe, roughly size 10. There were remnants of snow that hadn't fully melted yet. They'd been made in only the past few minutes. That coincided with the freshness of Conrad's body. The wet prints led out of the room and into the hallway. I followed them. They stopped at the door of Margot's room. I knocked and called her name. There was no response. I opened the door and went inside, turning on the light.
\tThe room was in a state of chaos. Virtually every drawer was pulled open, their contents in disarray. Someone had been searching for something, and they'd been in a hurry. Margot lay on the bed. I went over and lifted the covers, peering underneath. She was dead, stabbed through the heart. I sighed. She may have been a horrible person, but she didn't deserve this. Nobody did. I let the covers fall and left the room, heading back downstairs.
\tThe party guests were all standing around and jabbering nervously. Julie was sitting in a chair, being comforted by Randall, and Alice was in another chair with Scotty standing beside her. Everyone stopped talking and stared at me as I came downstairs. I went over to the bar, climbed up on a stool, and poured myself a shot of whiskey.
\t"What did you find?" Randall asked as I tossed the drink back.
\t"Margot's dead, too," I replied. "Stabbed through the heart."
\t"Oh God, no!" cried Scotty. Alice gasped. The rest started murmuring among themselves.
\t"Also," I added, "someone searched her room. I don't think he found what he was looking for, though."
\t"Why do you say 'he'?" Scotty asked. "It could have been a woman!" He looked at Julie accusingly.
\t"You think I killed her?" Julie asked in disbelief.
\t"Everyone knows you hated her!" Scotty snarled.
\t"Julie was barefoot when I found her in the room with Conrad's body," I said. "Randall can confirm that. Whoever was in Margot's room was wearing size 10 men's shoes. Based on the length of his stride, I'd say he was around six foot three."
\t"Is that your 'professional' opinion?" Scotty sneered.
\tI glared at him. "Yes, it is! This is what I do, whether you like it or not!"
\tScotty sniffed. "I'll wait for the real detectives to arrive, if you don't mind."
\tI shrugged. "Fine with me. I'm on vacation anyway." I hopped down off the stool and went over to Julie, taking her hand and squeezing it gently. "How are you holding up?" I asked her.
\tJulie took a deep breath, shivering. "I'm okay."
\t"We'll see how okay you are when the police get here!" Scotty said, smirking.
\tRandall growled at his nephew. "Scotty, shut up!"
\tAlice patted her son's arm. "Darling, be a good boy. This has been a terrible night for all of us."
\t"Worse for some than for others, mother," Scotty replied sourly.
\tI ignored him and went back to the bar for another drink. This terrible night was also going to be a long one.

\tAbout ten minutes later, the paramedics arrived. Randall met them, explaining that there was nothing they could do for the victims. The police showed up a few minutes after that. I'd gone upstairs to put my shirt on, since I didn't feel like talking to the cops only half dressed. As I came back downstairs, Randall was speaking to a detective. He was a big, beefy man in a trenchcoat who looked every inch a cop. He stared at me in surprise, which was followed by a look of immediate dislike. There was also an owlish forensics man and a couple of uniforms.
\t"Oh, Alvin," said Randall. "I was just saying that poor Henry was undoubtably responsible for both tragedies."
\t"A pity poor Henry isn't alive to defend himself," I commented.
\tRandall raised an eyebrow. "You don't agree?"
\t"I never jump to conclusions."
\tRandall looked a little miffed, but retained his manners. "Inspector, this is Alvin, the famous crime-fighter from Millennium City. Alvin, this is Inspector Larsen, from the homicide squad."
\tI held out my hand to Larsen. "How do you do, Inspector?" Larsen shook my hand, nodding and saying nothing.
\t"Alvin was present when Henry confessed," said Randall.
\t"Yes, that's right," I replied.
\t"I understand you're on vacation, Mr. . . . Alvin," said Larsen, "so I imagine you won't care to concern yourself with this case." It sounded more like an order than an observation.
\tI smiled up at him. "I'm sure you can handle it better than I could, Inspector."
\t"The police have already examined Henry's body," said Randall. "Shall we go upstairs, gentlemen? It won't take long. Your work will be merely routine." He led the cops upstairs, and I followed along.
\tWe entered the room where Conrad's body lay, and the forensics man donned a pair of latex gloves and knelt beside the corpse. "Nothing's been touched, gentlemen," said Randall. That wasn't strictly true, but Randall didn't know that Julie had been holding the dagger when I found her, and I didn't feel like mentioning it.
\tThe forensics man picked up the dagger, examining it. "No chance of fingerprints there," he said. "That carved handle won't take them."
\t"Odd-looking piece of hardware," Larsen commented. "Shouldn't be hard to trace."
\tRandall nodded. "Henry was always picking up outlandish things like that."
\tThe forensics man turned his attention to Conrad's body. "Something strange here," he said. "This man wasn't killed with that dagger. He died of a fractured skull!"
\t"There's nothing strange about it," said Randall. "Henry used the knife to kill Margot, but for Conrad he used that hunk of pipe he was holding when he died."
\t"Why wouldn't he use the same weapon on both victims?" I asked.
\tRandall looked annoyed with me again. "Henry was insane. Who can say what was going through his head?"
\tI turned to Larsen. "Inspector, you'll notice that there are wet footprints leading from the window, across the floor, and down the hall to Margot's room. They were made by a man's dress shoe. Henry was wearing slippers. Also, the stride length indicates that the man who made them was around six foot three. Henry was about five ten."
\tLarsen glared at me. "I thought we agreed you weren't going to involve yourself in this case!"
\t"I'm a witness, Inspector. I can't help but be involved."
\t"All the same," Larsen growled, "I'll conduct this investigation in my own way, thank you!"
\tI shrugged. "It's your show, not mine."
\t"Shall we go to his other victim?" Randall asked.
\tWe left the room and went down the hall to Margot's room. The forensics man lifted the quilt covering her body. "No question what caused her death," he said. "That knife went straight through her heart. She died instantly."
\t"Poor Margot," said Randall, shaking his head. "She died just as she lived—violently."
\tLarsen gazed around the room. "Looks like whoever killed her was searching for something."
\t"Whatever it was, they didn't find it," I commented.
\t"How can you be sure?" asked Randall.
\t"When people find what they're looking for, they stop looking. This room has been tossed from top to bottom, so unless whatever they were after was in the last place they looked, they didn't find it."
\tLarsen scowled at me. "I had considered that." He turned to Randall. "What jewelry did Mrs. Turkel have, Mr. Morris?"
\t"Nothing but a few rings," Randall replied. "She didn't like jewelry."
\t"Haven't you forgotten the string of pearls?" I asked. "She was wearing them last night."
\t"That's right!" said Randall, remembering. "A memento of her days with Conrad Martins. Cost the old boy plenty, too."
\t"Look around for those pearls," Larsen instructed his men.
\t"You might want to check her vanity first," I said, nodding to the one nearby. "A woman normally keeps her jewelry there so she can see how she looks wearing it."
\tLarsen frowned and went over to the vanity. He picked up a small, decorative jewelry box sitting there and opened it. It was empty. Then he checked the various drawers. "No pearls here," he concluded.
\t"Well," said the forensics man, coming over to us, "if it was robbery, they overlooked these." He held out Margot's gold rings in his palm. "I had a hell of a time getting them off her fingers," he said, handing them to Randall.
\t"I guess that eliminates robbery as a motive," said Randall.
\t"What about the pearls?" I asked.
\t"We'll undoubtably find those in Henry Turkel's pockets."
\t"I already checked them," said Larsen. "His pockets were empty."
\t"Well, never mind the pearls," said Randall, exasperated. "I'm sure they'll turn up. Henry confessed! What more do you want?"
\t"I still need to get everyone's statement for my report," said Larsen.
\tRandall sighed. "Very well. If you want to add to the heartaches of this family with that sort of nonsense, I suppose we can't stop you."
\t"There is something else I think might interest you, Inspector," I said.
\tLarsen looked down at me with obvious annoyance. "What's that?"
\t"Conrad Martins's son Connie tried to kill Margot earlier tonight."
\tLarsen and Randall both stared at me. "He did?" Randall asked, astonished.
\tI nodded. "They had an argument in the driveway. Connie would have strangled her if I hadn't intervened. And he said he'd be back."
\t"What was the argument about?" Larsen asked.
\t"I couldn't hear, but I think Margot was blackmailing him."
\t"Blackmail?" asked Randall. "Margot didn't need money!"
\t"Well, she took something off him after I knocked him out. What else could it have been but a payoff?"
\tLarsen smirked. "You knocked him out?"
\tI grinned up at him, my hands in my pockets. "One punch."
\t"Maybe he was blackmailing her," said Larsen, "and she took whatever it was he had on her."
\t"Why would he bring the blackmail material to the meeting?" I asked. "And why would he try to kill her? You can't get money from a corpse."
\tLarsen frowned. "I'll have Connie Martins brought in for questioning, but I'm far from convinced that that business had anything to do with the killings. From where I'm standing, it seems clear that Henry Turkel was responsible for both murders. He escaped from the sanitarium, came here, and killed his wife, and when Conrad Martins discovered him, he smashed his skull in."
\t"With an iron pipe," I said, "instead of using the dagger he killed Margot with."
\tLarsen glared at me. "As Mr. Morris pointed out, Henry was crazy. Crazy people do crazy things."
\t"And you're just going to ignore the fact that the slippers Henry was wearing don't match those footprints."
\t"Look, Alvin," Larsen growled, trying to make my name sound like an insult, "you may be a bigshot in Millennium City, with famous friends like Nighthawk and Defender, but Grand Rapids is my beat, and I don't need some sawed-off superhero wannabe playing amateur detective!"
\tI gazed up at him coldly. "I wouldn't dream of playing amateur detective, Inspector Larsen. I'll leave that to you."
\tHis eyes widened, and he clenched his big ham fists. "Why, you little—" he began, then caught himself. He took a deep breath, regaining his composure. "There will, of course, be a formal inquest regarding the deaths of Conrad Martins and Margot Turkel," he said calmly. "If you have anything to add to the official police report, you can bring it up there. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have a lot of people to talk to." He turned and lumbered out of the room, followed by Randall—who threw me a dirty look—the forensics man, and the two uniforms. I sighed, shaking my head, and walked after them.

\tThe cops didn't leave until around four in the morning. Julie and I both gave Inspector Larsen our statements. Neither of us mentioned that Julie had been holding the dagger when I'd found her. I wasn't sure she even remembered having it, since she'd been in such a state of shock at finding her father dead, and I didn't see anything to be gained by incriminating her. I didn't believe for one minute that Julie would have killed Margot, no matter how much she disliked the woman, and that wasn't just love talking. I'd been living with Julie for nearly a year, and I'd gotten to know her pretty well. But there was an unsettling possibility creeping around the corners of my mind.
\tOnce we'd given our statements, we both went upstairs, undressed, and got into bed. Julie put her arms around me and I around her, and we lay that way for a time. Then Julie began shivering and sobbing, her cheek against my furry shoulder. I held her tighter and gently stroked the back of her head. I didn't say anything. Words are so inadequate at times like this.
\t"What did Larsen have to say?" Julie asked finally.
\t"The consensus seems to be 'blame poor, dead Henry,'" I replied. "If he weren't already dead, Randall would be tying a noose around his neck. Did he have anything against Henry?"
\t"Not that I know of," Julie replied. "He used to take Henry and Scotty on fishing trips when they were kids. I went along on a couple of them. That's when I first got to know Henry. I remember he used to feel bad for the fish. I thought that was kind of sweet."
\t"Hmm. A man who feels sorry for fish doesn't make a very likely murder suspect."
\t"Well, that was before Margot drove him insane."
\t"Even so, there are a lot of things about this case that don't add up."
\tJulie looked at me. "You don't think he did it?"
\t"No, I don't. I think they're using him as a patsy so they can close the case quickly with a minimum of publicity."
\t"I'd love it if you could prove he was innocent," said Julie. "I hate the idea of them blackening that poor boy's memory to shield someone else."
\t"And I hate the idea of a murderer going free," I said. "But don't get your hopes up. Inspector Larsen already has his killer, and he clearly doesn't care for me, so he's not likely to be swayed by anything I have to say. It'll take some pretty convincing evidence to persuade anyone that Henry was innocent. Then, there's the fact that one of the people near the top of my list of suspects is your dear brother, Connie." I watched her face intently to observe her reaction.
\tJulie hesitated a moment, then sighed. "If it were just Margot, I wouldn't give a damn. Does that make me a terrible person?"
\tI shook my head. "No. You didn't like her. There's no reason why you should care who killed her."
\tJulie smiled at me. "Thanks. But since they also killed my father, I want to see them brought to justice, no matter who they are."
\tI nodded. "Okay, then. Let's get some sleep. I'll start investigating tomorrow. Or rather, later today."
\tJulie nodded back. "Thank you, Alvin."
\tI smiled back at her, and we kissed, and Julie turned out the lights. However, as I lay back on my pillow in the darkness, my smile faded. There was something about this whole business that really bothered me. Julie was lying. She'd said she'd been awakened by the gunshots and had gone to investigate them, but that wasn't true. I'd been awakened by the shots, and I'd woken alone. I couldn't fathom why she would lie to me. As far as I knew, she never had before. But the fact that she'd done so tonight meant that there was something she didn't want me to know, something she didn't trust me with, and that both hurt and frightened me. I considered confronting her, but decided against it. Perhaps she'd tell me on her own, eventually. At least, I hoped she would. And I hoped that whatever she was hiding wasn't something that would force me to choose between my love for her and the principles I'd chosen to dedicate my life to. I rolled over on my side and fell into a troubled sleep.

\tThe following morning, Julie and I drove back to her father's house to change clothes, then to the sanitarium where Henry had been a patient. It was a big old red brick building in a secluded, picturesque spot on an expansive property where patients could walk around freely, though of course none were doing that now, as there was two feet of snow on the ground. We went inside and spoke to the receptionist, asking to see Henry's physician, a Dr. Spiro. She spoke to him through the intercom, and he agreed to see us, so we proceeded to his office.
\tDr. Spiro was a thin, distinguished-looking, gray-haired man who regarded me with interest as we entered. I'd gotten that reaction before. Biological oddities like myself often arouse the professional curiosity of people in the medical profession. Julie and I introduced ourselves, and he invited us to sit down, which we did. "Well, what can I do for you?" Spiro asked.
\t"We're here regarding Henry Turkel," I replied. "I assume you've already spoken to the police."
\tSpiro nodded. "They were here earlier this morning. Are you assisting them?"
\t"Not officially," I said. "This is more of a personal matter. Julie and Henry were old friends."
\t"We're trying to prove his innocence," Julie added.
\tSpiro nodded. "I hope you succeed. It'd take a lot of responsibility off my shoulders."
\t"Was Henry Turkel a violent patient?" I asked.
\t"Only occasionally," Spiro replied. "Most of the time he was quite rational, until something caused him to change."
\t"Had he been acting in an unusual manner before his escape?" I asked.
\t"No, he seemed rather quiet until about three in the afternoon. Then, he became morose and nervous."
\tI noticed Julie's fingers tighten on the arm of her chair. "Any idea what may have caused him to change?" I asked Spiro.
\t"I'm afraid not," Spiro replied. "But something must have gotten him more excited than usual, because immediately after his escape, we found my dog Boston, dead, his skull caved in."
\tI blinked. "Just before Henry died, he muttered something about having killed 'that dirty cur.' The police are treating it as a confession."
\t"You think he may have been referring to Boston?" asked Spiro.
\t"It's a distinct possibility."
\t"Well, I sincerely hope so," said Spiro.
\t"Would it be possible for me to have some of your dog's hairs?" I asked.
\t"Certainly. His bed is right over there." He gestured to a doggie bed on the other side of the office. I slid off my chair, went over to it, plucked some of the black and white hairs that covered it with the tweezers from the miniature forensics kit I habitually carry in my jacket pocket, and placed them in a tiny glass vial.
\t"Thank you, Doctor," I said to Spiro. "You've been very helpful."
\t"I'm glad to have been so," he said.
\t"If it becomes necessary, can I rely on you as a witness?"
\t"Yes, of course."
\t"Thank you."
\tJulie and I left his office, went out into the snow-covered parking lot, and got into the car. "Is there something you'd like to share with me?" I asked, as we sat there in the stationary vehicle.
\tJulie was staring straight ahead. "I think I may have caused all this," she said quietly.
\t"How so?" I asked.
\t"Yesterday, at three in the afternoon, just before we left to come here, I was talking to Henry on my computer."
\t"Henry had Internet access?"
\t"His doctor allowed him limited contact with the outside world. I told him I was coming to see him. And . . . he asked me about a string of pearls."
\t"The pearls Margot was wearing last night," I said, "which have since mysteriously disappeared."
\tShe looked at me. "You know about them?"
\tI nodded. "Randall mentioned that your father had bought them for her when they were married."
\tJulie sighed. "Yes, and Margot refused to return them after the divorce."
\t"Sounds like her," I commented.
\t"Henry was furious about that. He called them a badge of infamy. He wanted them returned to my father. So, to calm him, I promised I'd go to Margot's room that night, get the pearls, and give them to him. I figured I could sneak in, grab them, and sneak back out without anyone knowing."
\tI nodded. Julie had the skills of a ninja, having been temporarily possessed a few months ago by the spirit of one, who had used her body to complete his assignment. "And that's why you weren't in bed with me when I was awakened by the gunshots."
\t"Yes, I was in Margot's room when Henry was shot. I was heading back to our room with the pearls in a pocket of my robe when I saw my father's body."
\t"With the dagger that killed Margot beside him."
\tJulie nodded. "That's right."
\t"Which you were holding when I found you."
\t"I . . . must have picked it up. I don't remember. I wasn't thinking clearly." She turned her eyes to meet mine. "Alvin, why are you looking at me like that?"
\tI decided it was time to broach that unsettling possibility that had been creeping around the corners of my mind. "Julie, has it occurred to you that you may have killed Margot without realizing it?"
\tShe stared at me. "What?"
\t"You absorbed the skills of a ninja when you were possessed by one. Perhaps you absorbed other things as well, like his bloodthirstiness."
\tJulie shook her head. "No, I couldn't—"
\t"You were in the same room with a woman you hated, who had wronged your father by refusing to return something that had been given to her as a token of his affection. The Japanese are very big on honor, Julie. And revenge."
\tJulie sat in silence for a moment, pondering this. "Do you really think it's possible?" she asked at last.
\tI shrugged. "I don't know. Ninja magic is way outside my area of expertise. But I think we at least have to consider the possibility."
\tJulie hugged herself, shivering. "Yamazaki used my body to kill someone, and to try to kill you!"
\tI squeezed her arm gently. "But that wasn't you, Julie, that was him. You weren't responsible for what he did, and if some residual traces of his personality influenced you to kill Margot, you wouldn't be responsible for that, either."
\tShe looked at me, scared and defensive. "And my father?"
\tI shook my head. "No, that wouldn't make any sense. First, you didn't open the window and track snow into the room, since you were already in the house. Second, you couldn't have made those footprints. Third, you would have used the dagger you were holding. And fourth, you had no motive. It's looking more and more to me like Margot and your father were killed by two different people, and at this point, I'm fairly certain that neither of them was Henry Turkel." I looked at her. "Where are the pearls?"
\tShe sighed. "They're in my suitcase, back at Dad's house. I didn't know what else to do with them. Dad's dead, Henry's dead, Margot's dead. They don't have an owner anymore!"
\t"Well, we'll worry about them later," I said. "They're not really germane to the case. I think it's time we paid a call on your brother. Are you ready for that?" I looked up at her with concern.
\tJulie nodded. "Let's get it over with."
\tShe turned the ignition key, and we drove out of the parking lot and headed toward the city.

\tThe Griffin's Roost was a nightclub located in a run-down neighborhood in Grand Rapids. It was a two-story brick building with an Art Deco facade that had probably looked very classy ninety years ago. Now, it just looked shabby, with stained, snow-shrouded concrete griffins perched along the ledge lining the second floor, their wings boldly pointing straight up as they stood silent vigil over the decaying edifice.
\t"This is Connie's club?" asked Julie, as we got out of the car and looked up at the place from the slush-covered sidewalk. "It's a dump!"
\tI nodded. "Margot did say it had an evil reputation." We walked to the front door, tried it, found it unlocked, and went inside.
\tThe interior was a little nicer, with red velvet curtains and furnishings of polished wood. There was nobody manning the front desk, so we just walked past it and entered the main bar area facing the dance floor and stage. It was around noon, so there weren't many customers, just a few folks sitting at the bar. Julie and I went up to the bartender, who looked down at me in surprise. "Can I help you?" he asked.
\t"We're looking for Conrad Martins," Julie replied. "Is he here?"
\t"Who wants to know?" the man asked suspiciously.
\t"His sister."
\t"Hold on," the man said. He took out his cell phone and dialed it. "Boss, there's a girl here who says she's your sister. Twentyish, brown hair. Also, one of those manimals is with her. Looks like a chipmunk. Okay." He put his phone away. "He'll be down in a minute. In the meantime, he said you can have whatever you want, on the house."
\t"How nice of him," Julie said, smiling thinly.
\t"I'll have a scotch and soda," I said.
\t"Make that two," Julie added. The man poured our drinks and handed them to us, and we went to one of the booths and sat down.
\tAs we sat there drinking and waiting, a couple of thuggish-looking types came over to us. One was short and stocky with dark hair, and the other was a taller, slimmer black man. They were both wearing suits with open collars and gold neck chains. They grinned at us in way that was not at all friendly. "Hey, half-pint," the dark-haired thug said to me. "This your girlfriend?" He inclined his head toward Julie.
\t"Yeah," I replied. "This yours?" I gestured at his companion.
\tThe black thug just laughed, but the dark-haired thug frowned. "You better watch your mouth, pipsqueak," he growled. "Nobody likes a smart guy!"
\tI smiled at him. "Then you must be very popular."
\tThe dark-haired thug snarled and plunged his right hand into his jacket pocket. I reacted by throwing my drink in his face. While he was blinded, Julie moved like a mousetrap springing, seizing his right arm and twisting it behind his back, making him cry out in pain. In his right hand he held an automatic. I glanced at the black guy to see what he would do. He just stood there, looking surprised.
\t"Sal! Louie! What the hell are you doing?" Connie demanded as he came striding up to us. He glared at the guy with the automatic. "Sal, put that away!"
\t"I can't move!" Sal hissed through clenched teeth.
\t"Julie, let go of him!" Connie ordered. Julie took Sal's gun away and released him, and he stood there, glowering at both of us.
\t"What are you doing here?" Connie asked Julie.
\t"Nice to see you, too, Connie," Julie said sourly. "Strangle anyone lately?"
\t"Look, I already talked to the cops," Connie snarled at her. "They're satisfied Henry did it. Case closed!"
\tI nodded. "Lucky for you Henry decided to pay a call on his family that night, and that the butler shot him. Otherwise, the cops might be looking for someone about six-foot-three who wears size 10 shoes." I glanced down at his feet. "Someone like you, Connie."
\tConnie looked at me and smirked. "There's thousands of guys in this town who fit that description, freak."
\t"How many of them swore they'd be back to get what they came for?" I asked, unperturbed.
\tConnie grinned. "Sure, I said I'd be back. But I wasn't in that much of a hurry."
\t"Did you find what you were looking for in Margot's bedroom?"
\tConnie snickered. "Sure I did. Lots of times. But Julie knows all about that, don't you, Julie?"
\t"I know you have horrible taste in women!" Julie said accusingly.
\t"Oh, like you can talk!" Connie shot back, gesturing at me. "He belongs in a sideshow!"
\tI rolled my eyes. "Come on, Connie, you can do better than that. Tell me one I haven't heard a thousand times before."
\t"Doesn't make it any less true!" Connie growled.
\tI grinned at him. "Did you tell your boys here how this sideshow freak laid you out with one punch?"
\tSal and Louie blinked as Connie turned scarlet, and looked at him. "One punch?" Louie asked. "That little guy?"
\tConnie pointed at the door. "I want both of you out of here. Now!"
\tI shrugged, slid out of my seat, and walked past him. "Thanks for the drink. Too bad most of it ended up on the floor." I stopped and turned when I realized Julie wasn't following me. She was standing, looking at her brother.
\t"Connie, why?" she asked him.
\tConnie looked surprised. "Why what?"
\t"Why did you have to become such a creep? You were my big brother! When we were kids, I looked up to you!"
\tConnie bit his lip. Her words really seemed to bother him, probably because he didn't have an answer for her. It wasn't hard to figure out why he'd turned out this way. His rich dad had spoiled him rotten, most likely shielding him from the consequences of his actions, so now he thought he could get away with anything. I'd seen the type before. He was a brat, pure and simple.
\tJulie scowled at her brother. "I guess with Dad gone and Margot no longer blackmailing you, your money problems are over. Assuming, of course, Dad kept you in his will, which I'm sure he did." She laughed harshly. "I wouldn't be surprised if you bumped him off yourself!"
\tConnie looked at her. "You really think I could do that? Murder my own father?"
\t"I wouldn't put anything past you, Connie." She turned to me. "Come on, Alvin, let's get out of here. I can't stand the stench." She ejected the magazine from Sal's gun, tossed it and the gun in different directions, and walked out, with me following her.
\tWe went to the car and got in. "I'm sorry," I said as we pulled out. "That must have been hard on you."
\t"Not as much as you'd think," Julie said. "I pretty much wrote him off years ago."
\t"If you say so. I know I'd give anything to have my brothers back."
\t"Your brothers weren't slimeballs. Unless you count Dr. Sciuridae."
\tI frowned. Dr. Sciuridae was an evil version of my brother Simon who lived in another dimension. "No, I don't."
\t"So, what did all that accomplish?" Julie asked.
\t"Well, Connie knows I suspect him now. With any luck, that'll cause him to do something stupid."
\t"But you don't have any evidence that he's guilty of either murder."
\t"No, but he doesn't know that. In the meantime, there's something I want to check out, but it'll have to wait until tonight." I looked up at her. "I'm famished. Want to grab some lunch?"
\tJulie smiled at me. "Ever had a Halo Burger?"
\t"No, I can't say that I have."
\t"It's a western Michigan delicacy. One bite and you'll think you've gone to heaven. There's a location not far from here."
\tI grinned. "Okay, lead on!"
\tWe headed off so Julie could show me what heaven tasted like.

\tAs I said before, southern Michigan is as flat as a pancake. It was bulldozed along with the rest of the American Midwest during the last Ice Age when a giant glacier rolled over it, and as a result, there's nothing to obstruct the frigid winter winds that blow off the Great Plains. Such a wind clawed at me now, trying to steal the heat from my body and whipping my cape around me as I stood on the rooftop of the Grand Rapids Police Department under a full moon. I was wearing my Nightmunk costume, which has a built-in heating system, but ten below is still ten below, and tiny icicles had formed in the fur on my cheeks and muzzle as my breath froze the second it left my mouth. Every time I inhaled, the icy air seared my sinuses.
\t If this had been Millennium City, I would have simply called Chief Surhoff and asked if I could examine the evidence pertaining to the case I was interested in, and he probably would have said yes, because I'm a registered hero and I've helped him out before. But I knew Inspector Larsen wouldn't let me anywhere near the evidence from the Turkel murders, so I was forced to use more unorthodox methods. I attached a grapple to the edge of the building and lowered myself over the side to a large, multipaned window. The interior latches presented no difficulty. I have a special gadget for those. I pushed the window open a bit and slipped through, dropping to the floor of the evidence room.
\t It was dark inside, so I took out my flashlight and began searching for what I was after. There was a clipboard hanging from a hook by the door that listed the logged-in evidence by case. I found the locker holding the evidence from the Turkel case. There were the dagger that had killed Margot and the iron pipe that Henry had been clutching when he'd died, both in plastic evidence bags. I picked up the latter and opened the bag. Using a pair of tweezers, I took a sample of the blood and hair encrusting the pipe and placed it in a tiny glass vial from my forensics kit. Then I re-sealed the bag, put it back in the locker, closed the locker, and left the way I'd come in.
\tJulie was waiting for me in the car in the parking lot across the street from the police station. I opened the door and climbed in. She giggled when she saw me. "You look like a chipmunk Santa Claus!" she said.
\t"Ho ho ho," I said, grinning back at her as the little icicles on my cheeks and muzzle began to melt in the heated interior of the car.
\t"Did you get it?"
\tI nodded. "Yeah, easy as pie. Let's get this stuff home so I can analyze it."
\t"You really think that's dog hair and blood on that pipe?" Julie asked as she started the car and threw it into drive.
\t"I'm almost certain of it," I replied.
\t"Wouldn't the police already know that?"
\t"Unless they're grossly incompetent, which I doubt. Grand Rapids isn't exactly some little backwater town."
\t"Then why wouldn't they say so?"
\tI looked at her. "Is Randall Morris an influential person here?"
\t"I'd say that's a pretty fair assessement."
\t"The kind of person who could get local officials to do what he wants?"
\t"You think there's been a cover-up?"
\t"He has been trying to pin the murders on Henry from the start."
\tJulie nodded. "So you think he might be the real killer?"
\t"Or he could be trying to deflect attention away from them."
\t"And where does Connie fit in?"
\t"I'm pretty sure he was in the house that night. Beyond that, it's hard to say."
\tWe arrived back at Julie's father's house, got out of the car, and went in through the front door. I was deep in thought about the case, which may explain why I didn't notice anything wrong until it was too late. As we entered the living room, the crystal chandelier lit up and we suddenly found ourselves surrounded. I recognized Sal and Louie from the Griffin's Roost, and there were four others as well, all pointing pistols at us. Connie was standing off to one side. Beside him stood a Latina girl I didn't recognize. She looked terrified.
\t"Hello, sis," Connie said. "Hello, Alvin. Nice costume."
\t"Connie, what the hell do you think you're doing?" Julie demanded, glaring at him.
\t"It's called self-preservation, sis," Connie replied. "Your fuzzy boyfriend is making me nervous. I don't like being nervous."
\t"What have you got to be nervous about?" I asked.
\t"Let's just say not everything that goes on in the club is strictly legal, and I don't need some freak who thinks he's Nighthawk sticking his big nose into my business."
\tI smirked. "And you think killing us is going to divert attention away from you? That's really dumb, Connie."
\tConnie shrugged. "I'll make sure nobody finds the bodies. Everyone will just assume you two went back to Millennium City."
\tJulie rolled her eyes. "And it won't look the least bit suspicious when I don't show up for the reading of Dad's will and you inherit everything!"
\tConnie blanched. Apparently, he hadn't thought about that. "It doesn't matter!" he countered defensively. "They still won't be able to prove a thing!"
\tI sighed. "Connie, you're a stupid punk who's in way over his head. Get out now, while you still can."
\tConnie scowled, drew a pistol, and pointed it at me. "You can't talk to me like that, freak!"
\tSal spoke up. "You want us to waste the little pipsqueak, boss?"
\t"The only thing you'd waste would be your bullets," I said. "My costume is armored."
\t"Your face isn't!" shouted Connie.
\tI grinned. "Then you'd better be a really good shot. Otherwise . . ." A pair of silver-blue questionite claws slid out of each of my gauntlets.
\tConnie pulled the trigger. I crossed my arms in front of my face, and the bullet pinged harmlessly off my left gauntlet. His henchmen shot at me too, with equal lack of success. I was drawing their fire, which had been my intent. Taking advantage of the distraction I was providing, Julie drew a throwing blade from her jacket and hurled it at the chandelier, cutting its cord and sending it crashing to the floor, plunging the room into darkness.
\tJulie and I laid into the thugs as they fired blindly, using the muzzle flashes of their guns to target them. I sheathed my claws and struck with my fists, as I didn't want to kill anyone. I was worried about Julie. While in some ways her ninja skills made her a better fighter than me, without her Nightfox costume she wasn't bulletproof, and there was always the chance of a stray shot finding its mark.
\tWhen the shooting stopped, Julie switched on a table lamp and we could see again. Connie's men were lying strewn around the room, unconscious. The Latina girl was crouched cowering against the wall, hands over her ears, shivering. Connie was gone.
\t"He must have slipped past us!" said Julie.
\t"The car they came in must be parked in the street!" I said. "Maybe we can still catch him!" I turned and ran out the front door, Julie close behind me.
\tConnie was running toward a car parked out on the street. He was also well ahead of us. He jumped in and gunned the engine as we ran up to the car. There was no way we could reach it in time, so I drew my grapple gun, held it with both hands, and fired at the rear bumper. The car peeled out, spraying slush, and I was yanked off my feet and my arms nearly torn from their sockets as it took me along for the ride.
\tI skidded along the icy street, dragged behind the speeding car, my armored costume shielding me from serious harm, though I was still getting dirty slush sprayed in my face. I hit the retract button on my grapple gun and was reeled up behind the bumper. Reaching up with my left hand, I grasped the bumper, let go of the grapple gun, popped the claws on my right gauntlet, and plunged them into the car's trunk. Thus braced, I popped the claws on my left gauntlet and rammed them into the trunk too, using them to pull myself up a bit farther, like a mountain climber sinking pitons into a rock face.
\tConnie realized he had company and began shooting at me, shattering the rear window and showering me with chunks of safety glass. Unfortunately, that meant he wasn't paying much attention to what was ahead of him. I lifted my head and saw two headlights blazing directly in front of us. Connie saw them too, and screamed. There was nothing I could do for him. I retracted my claws and leaped to one side, curling into a ball as Connie's car slammed into the front of a semi. There was an explosion of glass, and my ears were raked by the screech of twisting metal as I landed on the street, bouncing and rolling, my body armor absorbing most of the impact.
\tI skidded to a stop, uncurled, and slowly got to my feet, my whole body sore. I turned and looked back at the crash. The semi's front was caved in. The driver had gotten out, looking shaken but unharmed. Connie's car was totaled. I went over to the wreck and winced at what I saw. The collision had catapulted him through the windshield. It was pretty nasty. As I took out my cell phone and dialed 911, the lyrics of Kiss's "Detroit Rock City" came unbidden to my mind:
\t
\tTwelve o'clock, I gotta rock
\tThere's a truck ahead, lights starin' at my eyes
\tOh my God, no time to turn
\tI got to laugh 'cause I know I'm gonna die
\tWhy?
\tGet up, everybody's gonna move their feet
\tGet down, everybody's gonna leave their seat

\t"You know, Nightmunk," said Inspector Larsen, leaning across a table in an interrogation room in Grand Rapids Police Headquarters and looking at me with a none-too-friendly expression, "for someone who's allegedly on vacation, you seem to be involving yourself in this case quite a bit."
\tI nodded, taking a sip from a cup of hot cocoa I was holding in my gloved hand. I was seated across the table from him, still wearing my costume, the hood pulled back. I had just finished giving him my statement regarding Connie's attempt to kill Julie and me and his subsequent death in a car crash. "I tend to get involved when people try to murder my friends, Inspector. I'm funny that way."
\t"Why did you go to see Connie Martins earlier today?" he asked sharply.
\t"Because Julie wanted to talk to him."
\t"What about?"
\t"Their father was murdered yesterday. It's just possible she might have wanted to find out how he was taking it."
\t"And why did she bring you along?"
\t"Because I'm her friend, and the Griffin's Roost has an unsavory reputation."
\tHe regarded me for a moment. "Are you and Miss Martins romantically involved?"
\tI frowned. "I don't see how that's any of your business, Inspector."
\t"It's my business if it helps me to establish a motive for why you and she might have wanted her brother dead!"
\tI stared at him. "Did you even listen to my statement? Connie tried to kill us! He and his boys ambushed us as we entered her father's house!"
\t"And you hadn't given him any reason to fear for his life," said Larsen, skeptically.
\t"No! And even if I had, would that justify him breaking into his father's house and threatening to kill me, Julie, and that other girl? Who is she, anyway?"
\t"I'll ask the questions," said Larsen. "And Connie didn't break in. He had a key, presumably given to him by his father. We found it on his body."
\t"Okay, so he let himself in. He still tried to kill us!"
\t"Why were you wearing your costume?"
\t"Because I was concerned for Julie's safety, and I can protect her better in this."
\t"Why were you concerned for her safety? Could it be because she accused Connie of murdering their father?"
\tI shook my head. "That's not what she said. She said she wouldn't be surprised if he'd done it, and in light of recent events, neither would I!"
\t"Would you be surprised to learn the other girl was Conrad Martins's maid?"
\t"Not really. He mentioned he had one."
\t"Odd for a maid to come over in the middle of the night, isn't it?"
\t"I agree, it is odd."
\t"You ever see her before?"
\t"No, never."
\t"Why do you suppose she came?"
\t"I don't know. Why don't you ask her?"
\tLarsen reached into his coat pocket and lifted up a string of pearls, laying them on the table between us. "These look familiar?"
\tI nodded. "They're the ones Margot Turkel was wearing the night she was killed."
\t"We found them in Julie Martins's suitcase."
\t"You did? Interesting."
\t"Any idea how they got there?"
\tI shook my head. "None whatsoever."
\tLarsen looked at me intently. "You know what I think, Nightmunk?"
\tI shrugged. "That the moon is made of cheese?"
\t"I think Julie Martins stole those pearls from Margot Turkel's room. And I think you and Julie tried to kill Connie tonight so you wouldn't have to split her father's money with him!"
\tI nodded. "And then Connie obligingly drove his car into a semi for us."
\t"He was trying to get away from you!" Larsen growled.
\t"Yes, because he tried to kill me and failed! Has it occurred to you that Connie had as much motive for wanting Julie dead as she did for wanting him dead?"
\tLarsen pounced. "So you admit she did have a motive!"
\t"If either of us cared about her father's money, which we don't."
\tHe smirked. "You two share an apartment in Millennium City, correct?"
\t"We've never made any secret of that."
\t"It's in Westside. Pretty poor neighborhood."
\tI sighed. "You see this costume, Inspector? It's made of an exotic polymer—bulletproof and fireproof." I held up my gauntlets and popped my claws. "These blades are questionite, one of the rarest metals on Earth. I also have a variety of weapons, gadgets, and other equipment, and a grav bike. Nighthawk gave me these things to increase my effectiveness as a crime-fighter. Now, I've never bothered to calculate how much all this stuff cost, but if I had to guess, I'd say somewhere in the neighborhood of five million dollars. In short, I need money about as much as I need Rogaine. If you try to use that as a motive to pin Connie's death on Julie and me, you're going to end up with egg on your face." I leaned back in my chair and folded my arms across my chest.
\tLarsen was silent for a moment. "You still haven't explained how those pearls ended up in your girlfriend's suitcase," he said at last.
\t"I told you, I don't know. The last time I saw them, they were around Margot Turkel's neck."
\t"I'm warning you, Nightmunk," Larsen said, glowering at me, "if you know something about her and Conrad Martins's deaths you're not telling me, I'll book you for withholding evidence!"
\tI chuckled and put my hands behind my head and my feet up on the table. "You may be able to scare ignorant pushers and pickpockets with threats like that, Larsen, but it won't work on me. I know my rights. I don't have to tell you squat unless you can rustle up a subpoena, and no judge on this planet is going to issue a subpoena to make me testify about a case you've already declared closed. Seriously, Larsen, if you're going to make a threat, make one that means something. Otherwise, stop wasting my time."
\tLarsen made a grumbling noise, his bluff called. "All right, you're free to go."
\t"What about Julie?" I asked.
\t"I'm holding her on suspicion of grand larceny."
\tI jumped to my feet on my chair and leaned toward him, hands on the table. "You can't do that!"
\t"The pearls were found in her suitcase!" Larsen shot back. "That's about as open-and-shut as it gets!"
\tI ground my teeth together. As much as I hated the idea of Julie being in jail, there wasn't much I could do about it. Larsen could hold her for up to twenty-four hours before formally charging her with a crime. Once he did, I could post her bail and she'd be free until her trial, but I was pretty sure Larsen would hold her as long as he could to try to sweat a confession out of her. It wouldn't work, of course—Julie's ninja discipline would see to that—but in the meantime she was stuck where she was. I pulled my hood up, jumped down off my chair, and headed for the door, muttering under my breath.
\tAs I was leaving, Larsen said, "You can't fool me, Nightmunk! You know something, and I'm going to find out what it is!"
\tI looked back at him and grinned. "Anything's possible. After all, you made inspector." And I turned and left.
\tAs I walked through the lobby of police headquarters with everyone staring at me, I noticed the Latina girl who'd been with Connie and his thugs waiting by the door. I walked up to her. "Hello," I said, extending my hand. "I don't believe we've been formally introduced. I'm Alvin."
\tShe nodded, shaking my hand. "I know who you are. Thank you for saving my life tonight."
\t"Well, that's kind of what I do. Mind telling me who you are? I like to know the names of the people I save." I smiled at her.
\t"My name is Gabriela Ortiz. I was Conrad Martins's maid."
\t"Yeah, Inspector Larsen mentioned that. Strange time to drop by for a cleaning."
\tShe scowled. "I didn't 'drop by.' Connie kidnapped me and brought me there by force! He said he was going to kill me!"
\t"Why would he do that?" I asked.
\t"I don't know! He wouldn't tell me!"
\tI pondered this. Connie hadn't been the sharpest knife in the drawer, but abducting and killing the maid when he didn't have to sounded too dumb even for him. There had to have been some reason.
\tA taxicab pulled up at the curb in front of the police station. Gabriela glanced at it, then at me. "I am headed back to Conrad's house," she said. "Would you like a ride?"
\t"You're not going to your own place?" I asked.
\t"Conrad's is closer, and I am rather shaken up after what happened tonight. I would like to lie down."
\t"In that case, I'll be glad to come along," I said. "I'll even pay the fare."
\tShe smiled at me. "Thank you."
\tWe rode back to Conrad's house in silence. I paid the cabbie, and we went inside, out of the cold. I pulled back the hood of my costume and went to the bar. "Would you like a drink?" I asked Gabriela. "I'm having one." I poured myself some of his excellent brandy.
\tGabriela sat down on the couch, hugged herself, and began sobbing and shaking. I sighed and went over to her, offering her the glass I'd poured. "Here, drink this," I said. "According to the movies, brandy fixes everything."
\tGabriela accepted the glass and took a gulp from it. "Can it fix a broken heart?" she asked.
\tI shook my head. "No, but it does help dull the pain."
\tGabriela looked at me, her eyes red. "I still can't believe he's dead. He was so gentle and kind."
\tI nodded. "I didn't know him long, but he seemed like a good man. He didn't even object to me being with his daughter."
\t"How could he have such a rat for a son?" she asked. Then she looked at me and bit her lip. "No offense."
\tI smiled. "None taken." My eyes drifted to a framed photograph on a table beside the couch. It was a picture of Conrad and Margot, Conrad dressed like an Arab sheik, Margot in a harem girl outfit. There was handwriting on it, identifying it as having been taken for a costume ball Randall had held over a year ago. That would have been before the divorce. Then I noticed a dagger stuck in the sash around Conrad's waist, and my eyes went wide. It was the dagger that had killed Margot.
\tGabriela noticed me staring at the picture. "Connie liked that picture too," she commented.
\tI turned to her, surprised. "He did?"
\t"Yes, he was looking at it the last time he was here."
\t"When was that?"
\t"The last time I was, the day before yesterday. I was helping Conrad tidy up because you and Julie were coming to visit. Connie dropped by to ask for money, like he always did. He admired the knife in the picture and asked his father if he still had it. Conrad said he did, and Connie asked him if he could have it, so Conrad gave it to him. He loved giving people presents. He was a generous man."
\t"That was the same dagger that killed Margot!" I said. "That's why Connie wanted you dead! You could link him to the murder weapon!" I thought for a moment. "And since the dagger belonged to Conrad, that would make it look like he killed her. Huh. Connie was smarter than I thought!"
\tGabriela stared at me. "You mean Connie killed her?"
\t"Well, if he weren't already dead, it would be looking pretty bad for him right now."
\t"Are you going to tell the police?" Gabriela asked.
\tI shrugged. "Do you want me to? You'd have to tell Larsen what you saw, and he won't be happy to hear it, since he's been saying Henry was the killer. And Henry's dead, so it's not like you'd be saving an innocent man from going to jail."
\tGabriela nodded. "But it would be the right thing to do."
\tI smiled. "Yes, it would be."
\t"I will think about it," Gabriela said, rising from the couch. "Right now, I just want to sleep."
\t"Sleep sounds fantastic," I said. "See you in the morning." I went to the room Julie and I had been using, took off my costume, and climbed into bed, wishing Julie were with me and feeling guilty because I knew she was having a much worse night than I was.

\tGabriela was in the kitchen making breakfast when I came downstairs the following morning. I walked in, wearing a T-shirt and sweat pants, and sniffed the air. "Something smells good!" I commented.
\tShe smiled at me. "You like bacon and eggs?"
\t"Love 'em!" I replied. I climbed up on a chair, and she brought me a plate laden with scrambled eggs and juicy strips of bacon. I dug in, and she stood there watching me as I ate. Humans often do that. I'm something new and strange to them—someone who looks like an animal but acts like a human being. I arouse their curiosity. Julie had done the same thing at first. I didn't let it bother me.
\t"This is good!" I said, shoveling the fluffy eggs into my mouth.
\t"Thank you," she replied. "I added a little salsa. I didn't want to make it too hot. I didn't know if you like spicy food."
\t"I like spicy food just fine," I said.
\t"Good!" She sat down at the table. "So, you and Julie live together in Millennium City?"
\t"Mmhmm," I said as I ate. "And yes, we sleep together, too."
\t"I gathered, since Conrad told me to prepare only one guest room for both of you. It's good that you've found someone who loves you." She smiled.
\tI glanced up at her. "The way you found Conrad?"
\tShe blinked. "What? How did you—?"
\t"It wasn't hard to guess," I replied. "The comment about a broken heart was kind of a giveaway."
\tShe bit her lip. "It wasn't what you're thinking."
\t"What am I thinking?"
\t"That I was after his money."
\tI shrugged. "I won't say the thought didn't cross my mind. But people don't usually get broken hearts when all they care about is money. In any case, it's none of my business."
\tThe doorbell rang, and Gabriela and I looked at each other. "Were you expecting anyone?" I asked.
\tShe shook her head. "No."
\tI hopped down off my chair, went to the front door with Gabriela following behind, and opened it. It was Randall's butler, Stevens. He was a thin, balding man with a long nose who looked exactly like a butler. "May I come in, sir?" he asked anxiously.
\t"Certainly," I said, stepping aside and closing the door behind him after he entered. "What can we do for you?"
\tStevens reached into his coat pocket and produced two objects. One was a scabbard for a dagger. The other was a brown glass bottle with a label on it. "I thought you ought to know, sir, I saw my employer, Mr. Morris, conceal these under a rock in the garden." He handed them to me.
\tThe scabbard was same one that had been sticking out of Conrad's sash in the photograph, the mate of the dagger that had killed Margot. I examined the bottle. It was empty. The label identified it as having once contained scopolamine. I looked up at Stevens. "Why didn't you take them to the police?" I asked.
\t"To be quite frank, sir," Stevens replied, "I'm not entirely certain that I trust Inspector Larsen."
\tI smirked. "Smart move. When did you see Mr. Morris do this?"
\t"It was about three o'clock this morning, sir," said Stevens. "It was moonlight, and I was looking out of my window." He sighed, looking weary and morose. "I'm having difficulty sleeping, after my part in poor Henry's death."
\t"I'm not surprised," I said. "Stevens, would you be willing to sign an affidavit saying you saw Randall Morris try to hide these?"
\tStevens nodded. "Certainly, sir."
\t"You realize it could cost you your job, right?"
\t"I've already given my notice, sir," said Stevens. "I simply couldn't go on living in that house, not with the way Scotty and his mother look at me, like I'm some sort of monster. Of course, I can hardly blame them."
\tI nodded. I could see that the guilt over killing Henry was weighing heavily on him. It's a hard thing, knowing you've taken a life. It's something I have to live with every day.
\tOnce Stevens had done what I'd asked of him and departed, I stood in the living room, holding the scabbard in one hand and the bottle in the other. "Interesting," I said, regarding each item.
 \t"Why do you suppose Mr. Morris hid those?" Gabriela asked.
\t"Because he's trying to cover for someone," I replied. "But why would he be covering for Connie? He and Connie didn't have any kind of close relationship, did they?" I looked up at her.
\t"Not that I know of," said Gabriela. "But then, I've never been to the Morris house." She indicated the bottle. "What's in that?"
\t"It's empty now, but it used to contain scopolamine, an alkaloid derived from the nightshade family of plants. It's sometimes used as a truth serum, because it can put people into a zombie-like state where they're highly susceptible to suggestion."
\tJust then, my cell phone buzzed. I took it out and checked to see who was calling. It was Julie. "Hey!" I said into it, grinning happily. "Larsen finally get tired of giving you the third degree?"
\t"I think he realized he wasn't getting anywhere and gave up," Julie replied. "He's charged me with grand larceny. Could you come over and post my bail, please?"
\t"I'll be right there." I turned to Gabriela. "Can you drive me to police headquarters?"
\t"Sure," she replied. "It's the least I can do."
\t"Thanks." I spoke into the phone. "I'll be right over, honey. Sit tight."
\t"Thanks," said Julie. "I love you, Alvin."
\t"I love you too, Julie." I hung up and ran upstairs to change.

\tSorting out all the business at police headquarters took most of the rest of the day, so the ice-blue winter sky was growing dark by the time Julie, Gabriela, and I arrived back at Conrad's house after picking up a bucket of fried chicken along the way. Now we sat around the dining room table, munching on the crispy, greasy body parts of deceased avians.
\t"But everything points to Connie, Alvin," said Julie as we ate. "First, he threatened Margot and said he'd be back."
\t"Yes, he did," I said, nodding as I nibbled on a crunchy thigh.
\t"Second, the footprints in the room with my father's body matched his shoe size and were made by someone his height."
\t"Also true."
\t"Third, you learned that the dagger had been given to him by my father that same day!"
\t"And," Gabriela added, "he also tried to kill us all because he was afraid we were getting too close!"
\t"Don't overlook the little matter of Randall trying to hide that scabbard and the bottle of scopolamine," I reminded them. I inspected the thigh I'd been chewing on. It was denuded of flesh. "Pass me a drumstick, would you, Julie?"
\t"Yes, that's right," said Julie thoughtfully as she passed me a drumstick.
\t"Scopolamine played an important part in those murders," I said, "at least in Margot's. And Connie didn't have a chance to slip it to her."
\t"What's the effect of scopolamine?" Gabriela asked.
\t"It dilates the pupils and causes sudden weariness and a desire for sleep," I replied.
\t"Why, that exactly describes Margot after she came in from the porch with my father!" Julie said.
\t"I'll be polite and concede you one murder for Connie," I said, biting into the drumstick.
\t"Thanks," said Julie, "but why not both?"
\tI didn't reply immediately, because I was busy gnawing on the chicken leg. Even my big chompers were finding it a challenge. "Wow!" I remarked. "This bird must have been dead for a while before they fried it. The flesh is so tough it feels like rigor mortis has set in." Then I stopped gnawing as I had an epiphany. Suddenly, all the pieces fell into place. I sat there with my eyes wide, staring blankly at nothing. "Son of a bitch!"
\t"Alvin?" Julie asked, as she and Gabriela both peered at me curiously. "Are you okay?"
\t"No, I'm not," I replied. "I'm an idiot. It was staring me right in the face, and I missed it. Nighthawk would be ashamed of me."
\t"What are you talking about?" Julie asked.
\tI whipped out my cell phone. "Does Stevens have a personal number?"
\t"I don't think so."
\t"Never mind. Do you have the number of the Morris house phone?"
\tJulie nodded and gave it to me, and I dialed it and waited for someone to answer.
\t"I know that look," Julie said. "You've figured something out. What is it?"
\t"You'll see when I get a whack at Stevens," I replied.
\t"Are you seriously saying the butler did it?" asked Gabriela, looking amused. "That nice old man?"
\t"That nice old man killed Henry Turkel," I reminded her.
\t"But that was an accident!" Julie protested. "Alvin, you're impossible!"
\t"I wouldn't go that far," I replied. "I am highly improbable. I'll admit I was in the dark, but thanks to this chicken, I've seen the light." I held up the drumstick and kissed it.
\tSomeone at the Morris house finally answered the phone. It was Stevens. "Morris residence," he said.
\t"Hello, Stevens," I said. "It's nothing serious, I just want to ask a few questions. Tell me, was Connie Martins at the Morris house on the day of the murders?"
\t"Yes, sir," Stevens replied. "He came to deliver champagne for the party. Mr. Morris often purchased alcohol from his club, at Miss Margot's request. I believe she wanted to help her former stepson by providing him with some business."
\tI smirked. "How thoughtful of her. What time was he there?"
\t"Oh, I should say about half past twelve, sir."
\tI glanced at Gabriela. "When did Connie leave here?" I asked.
\t"Around noon," she replied.
\t"So he must have gone to the Morris place next."
\t"Yes," said Stevens. "I recall him saying he'd just come from his father's house."
\t"And I imagine he hung his coat by the door," I said.
\t"Yes, sir," said Stevens. "He had to arrange some wine in the cellar."
\t"So, anyone who came by could have seen it."
\t"Yes, sir."
\tI nodded. That tied it all together beautifully. "Stevens, could you tell Mr. Morris and his sister and nephew to come over here right away? Tell them I have a surprise for them."
\t"A surprise?" Stevens asked. "Certainly, sir."
\t"Thank you," I said, and hung up. Then I called police headquarters. "Inspector Larsen, please." I waited while someone got him.
\t"What do you want?" Larsen asked, sourly.
\t"Hello, Inspector," I said cheerfully. "Could you come over to the Martins house right away? I've figured out who killed Conrad Martins and Margot Turkel, and I thought you'd like a chance to challenge my findings."
\t"What?" Larsen sounded surprised, angry and curious all at once. "Now listen to me—"
\t"No, you listen, Inspector!" I snapped. "I tried to stay out of your way, but you've made a complete botch of this case from the very start! If you can't be bothered to come and try to refute what I'm going to say, that's fine with me! You can read all about it in tomorrow's paper!" And I hung up.
\t"He's going to arrest you, you know," said Julie.
\tI grinned at her. "For what? For talking about a case he's already declared closed? Last time I checked, freedom of speech was still a thing." I sat back and sank my big buck teeth into that drumstick. It was tough, but good.

\tRandall Morris, Alice Turkel, and Scotty Turkel arrived about twenty minutes later. Gabriela greeted them at the door and escorted them into the living room, where Julie and I were waiting for them, Julie sitting on a couch while I stood with my back to the crackling fireplace, hands in the pockets of my leather jacket. I reflected that I should be wearing a velvet smoking jacket and smoking a pipe, but Conrad's smoking jacket wouldn't fit me and I don't smoke. Gabriela asked them if they'd like anything to drink and went to the bar to fulfill their requests as they sat down.
\t"So, what's this all about?" Randall asked, as Gabriela handed him his drink. "You said you had a surprise for us?"
\tI nodded. "A big one."
\t"What is it?" Alice asked.
\t"I'd prefer to wait until someone else I've invited arrives," I replied. "I doubt he'll be long."
\t"Well," Alice remarked, "this certainly is melodramatic!"
\tScotty smirked. "Imagine, someone who runs around on rooftops in a ridiculous costume being melodramatic!"
\tI smiled at him. "Scotty, you've been a complete dick to me ever since we first met, and I can't think of anything I've done to deserve it. I can only conclude that you don't like me because I'm a manimal. After tonight, I assure you, you're really going to hate me."
\tScotty frowned. "What do you mean by that?"
\tBefore I could reply, the doorbell rang. Gabriela went to answer it and returned with Inspector Larsen, who glared at me, his big fists clenched. I smiled back at him amiably. "Good evening, Inspector," I said. "Nice of you to come."
\tLarsen nodded to Randall, Alice, and Scotty, and then looked back at me. "All right," he said. "Let's hear it."
\t"Hear what?" Randall asked.
\t"He claims to know who committed the murders."
\tAlice blinked. "I was under the impression you had determined that it was my late son, Henry."
\tRandall snorted. "Of course it was! Alvin is just grandstanding."
\t"No," I said, "I'm trying to bring a murderer to justice, one who Inspector Larsen here would have let go free if he had his way. That's partly why I called you all here. I want as many people as possible to hear what I have to say. But, before I begin, I have a confession to make." I paused and took a deep breath. "I'm a bad detective. I committed two serious blunders during this case, the nature of which will become apparent as we go along."
\tScotty chuckled. "So, you admit you're incompetent!"
\tI shrugged. "I admit I made mistakes. But at least I didn't bow to pressure and try to conceal the truth and suppress evidence." My eyes fixed on Larsen.
\tLarsen glowered back at me. "Are you accusing me of professional misconduct?"
\tI returned his look with equal animosity. "Henry Turkel's only victim was his doctor's dog, Boston. I examined the hair and blood on the pipe he was holding when he died. They weren't human hair and blood; they were canine."
\t"How did you get samples of them?" Larsen demanded.
\t"I was with Henry when he died, remember? I took them from the pipe." That was a lie, of course, but I wasn't about to let Larsen put me in jail for breaking into police headquarters.
\t"So you say," said Larsen, with an unpleasant smile, "but my forensics man disagrees, and he's the expert, not you!"
\tI nodded. "I'm well aware that if it were just my word against his, I'd lose. That's why I called a forensics expert I know in Millennium City. She's on her way here with a court order to examine the evidence from this case. In fact, she's probably already arrived at police headquarters. I'm confident that her analysis will confirm my own. And please don't try to claim exclusive jurisdiction, Inspector, because it won't work." I turned to Randall. "That evidence is going to be examined by someone who isn't one of your golf buddies, Mr. Morris, and there's nothing you can do about it."
\tRandall sat up, furious. "How dare you accuse me of—"
\t"Mr. Morris," I said, reaching into my jacket and removing a folded piece of paper. "This is an affidavit signed by your butler, Stevens, in which he swears under oath that he saw you attempt to hide the sheath for the dagger that killed Margot and a bottle labeled scopolamine. That makes you guilty of obstruction of justice and of being an accessory to murder after the fact, both very serious crimes. I suggest you stop using your influence to shield a killer, and start using it to try to save your own skin."
\tRandall just stared at me, unable to speak.
\t"Just a minute," said Larsen. "Who administered the oath for that affidavit?"
\t"I did," I replied.
\tLarsen blinked. "You?"
\tI nodded. "As a registered hero, I have that authority."
\t"All right," said Larsen, apparently realizing he couldn't win there. "But what does scopolamine have to do with anything?"
\t"I'm getting to that," I replied. "On the day of the murders, three significant events occurred leading up to them. First, at noon, Connie Martins came here to ask his father for money, as was his habit. Miss Ortiz here can confirm this. While he was here, he noticed this picture." I picked up the photograph and held it up so everyone could see it. "It's of Conrad and Margot, taken at a costume ball Randall held a year ago. He noticed the dagger Conrad was wearing in the picture, and asked if he could have it. Conrad, who could deny his son nothing, gave it to him. Connie then drove to the Morris house to deliver champagne for Randall's party, carrying in his coat the dagger, which would later be used to kill Margot. He arrived at twelve-thirty, hung up his coat, and went down to the wine cellar.
\t"Second, during the party, Margot met Connie in the driveway to receive blackmail money from him. What she was blackmailing him for, we'll probably never know, but for our purposes, it doesn't matter. What matters is that Connie tried to kill her, and after I thwarted him he swore he'd come back and get what he came for—namely, the blackmail material.
\t"The third important event was that Margot was drugged with scopolamine after she and I returned from her meeting with Connie. It caused her pupils to become dilated and made her sleepy, which impelled Alice to take her to her room and put her to bed. This happened at ten o'clock, as Julie and I were about to turn in ourselves.
\t"Just before two in the morning, Connie returned, entering the house through a second-story window. He made his way to Margot's room and searched it for the blackmail material, but came up empty. While he was at it, he stole a string of pearls from Margot's vanity." I glanced at Julie. She said nothing, just sat there in silence, not looking at me. "At about this time, Henry Turkel arrived, having escaped from the asylum where he was being treated, killing his doctor's dog in the process. He came for the pearls, which had been a gift from Conrad to Margot when they were married. After their divorce, Margot had refused to give them back. Henry was furious about this, calling the pearls 'a badge of infamy,' and was determined to make amends for his wife's dishonorable conduct by stealing them and returning them to Conrad. Unfortunately, this noble intention resulted in him being shot and killed by Stevens. The sound of the gunshots spooked Connie, who attempted to flee the house. Conrad surprised him while he was trying to make his escape, and, in a blind panic, Connie grabbed some heavy, blunt object and smashed his father's skull in."
\t"Why didn't he just use the dagger?" Larsen asked.
\t"He couldn't," I replied. "He knew everyone would suspect him of killing Margot. After all, I'd seen him try to kill her earlier. He had the presence of mind to realize he had to make it look as if Conrad had killed her, so he removed the dagger that was sticking out of Margot's body and placed it beside Conrad's."
\t"So Connie committed both murders," said Scotty, nodding in agreement with his own conclusion.
\tI shook my head. "No, Connie killed Conrad, but he didn't kill Margot. Margot had already been dead for four hours. That's where I made one of my two big blunders. The forensics man said he had a hard time getting Margot's rings off her fingers. That was because rigor mortis had set in, causing them to become stiff. I should have realized that at the time, but I missed it completely, and, at the urging of Randall Morris, Inspector Larsen told the coroner to set the time of Margot's death at two AM so he could say that Henry had killed her. In reality, Margot died at ten o'clock, just before Julie and I went to bed."
\tJulie stared at me. "But that's impossible! We heard Alice talking to Margot from the hallway!"
\tI nodded. "We heard Alice talking to Margot, but we didn't hear Margot reply. She couldn't reply. She was dead."
\t"But, that would mean . . ." Julie began. Then her voice trailed off. Every eye in the room was on Alice.
\t"That was the other thing I missed," I said, gazing at Alice. "You told Julie and me that Margot was so tired she fell asleep the moment her head hit the pillow. But if that were true, you couldn't have been talking to her from the hallway. You spiked the rum coffee you'd set aside for her with scopolamine. Then, when she became sleepy, you took her upstairs and put her to bed. And as she lay there, unconscious and helpless, you stabbed her in the heart with the dagger you'd found in Connie's coat while he was in the wine cellar."
\tScotty shook his head vehemently. "This has gone far enough! I refuse to stand by while this creature accuses my mother of—"
\t"Scotty, dear," said Alice quietly, "do shut up."
\tJulie stared at Alice in disbelief. "But, you loved Margot!"
\tAlice gave Julie a hard look. "Loved . . . her? The woman who drove one of my sons insane and had her sights set on the other one? No, I hated her." She clenched her fists, and her voice became a poisonous hiss. "I hated her!" Then she rose and turned to Inspector Larsen. "I'm ready to go, Inspector."
\tLarsen swallowed. "You confess to the murder of Margot Turkel?"
\tAlice nodded. "You needn't bother reading me my rights. I shan't stand trial." She looked at us all. "I received a diagnosis from my doctor several weeks ago, and I'm afraid it was rather bad. That's what gave me the courage to put an end to that horrid woman. At least I'd have the satisfaction of knowing that Scotty would be safe from her after I was gone." She gazed affectionately at her son, who was sitting on the couch in utter shock.
\tI regarded Alice sadly. I'd never felt so bad about solving a case. She'd only been trying to protect her son. Scotty may have been a bigoted jerk, but a mother's love is a mother's love. "I'm sorry, Mrs. Turkel," I said.
\tAlice smiled at me. "Don't be, Alvin. You were only doing what you thought was right, just as I was. My only regret is that my dear brother has gotten himself into trouble trying to cover up what I did." She looked at Randall.
\t"There's one thing I'm still unclear about," said Larsen. "How did those pearls end up in Julie's suitcase?"
\t"I imagine Connie planted them there while he and his men were lying in wait for us," I replied.
\t"Why would he do that?"
\t"To frame her."
\t"But he intended to kill her!"
\t"True, but he might have failed, especially since Nightmunk was with her. Connie was smart. The pearls were insurance. Once she was in prison, he could arrange to have her eliminated."
\tLarsen pondered this for a moment. "That's pretty thin."
\tI took the affidavit out of my jacket. "Would this make it thicker?"
\tLarsen nodded. "It might."
\t"You can have it when the charges against Julie are dropped. Then you can destroy it, so there'll be no evidence of any wrongdoing on your buddy Randall's part, and I won't make any accusations of professional misconduct. It'll all be swept under the rug."
\t"Fair enough," said Larsen, as Randall sighed with relief.
\tAlice smiled at me. "Thank you, Alvin. You're a damn fine detective."
\t"You're welcome, Mrs. Turkel," I replied. I felt a little less bad now.
\tShe turned to Larsen. "Shall we be off, Inspector? I imagine this will be quite an interesting adventure. I'm eager to begin."
\tLarsen nodded and led her away, and she walked off like the lady she was.
\tRandall rose slowly from the couch, white and trembling. He looked at me. "I . . . thank you."
\tI shrugged. "You were protecting someone you loved. That's more than Margot ever did."
\tHe turned to his nephew. "Come along, Scotty."
\tScotty stood up, looked at me, shook his head, and left with his uncle.
\t"Lord, I need a drink!" I said once they were gone.
\t"I'll second that," said Julie. We both went to the bar and helped ourselves to some of her father's excellent brandy, because brandy fixes everything.
\t
\tThe winter sky was a somber iron gray overhead as Julie and I stood in a snow-shrouded cemetery with the other mourners around Conrad's coffin while a minister did the whole "ashes to ashes" thing. I was wearing a black suit and tie, and Julie a black dress with a winter coat over her shoulders. I glanced up at her to see how she was doing. Her pretty face was as hard and expressionless as those of the stone angels perched atop some of the headstones around us. I felt sad for her. She'd come here to reconcile with her father, not to bury him. Beside the coffin lay the grave of Conrad's first wife, Julie's mother. Her name had been Eloise. Connie's body was not present. Julie had refused to allow her brother to be buried in the family plot. Who could blame her?
\tI looked out across the crowd. Randall, Scotty, and Gabriela were here, along with a lot of people I didn't know plus a few I recognized from Randall's party. There were also some reporters, whose attention was focused mainly on me, the big celebrity. It had been all over the local news for the past few days that a manimal hero from Millennium City had helped Inspector Larsen crack the case. Whatever. I didn't really care about taking credit for helping to put a dying woman in jail. I noticed Scotty glaring at me. That was fine. He had every reason to hate me.
\tThe service ended, and people began lining up to offer Julie their condolences, which she accepted with a curt nod and a thank you. I stood beside her, and a lot of them gawked at me as they went by. It wasn't hard to guess what was going through their inquiring minds.
\tOnce the last well-wisher had gone by, Julie and I began heading back toward the car. A reporter came up and asked if he could talk to me, and I told him to get lost. When we arrived at the car, Gabriela was there waiting for us. "There is something we must talk about," she said.
\t"What is it?" Julie asked. "Did my father owe you back wages or something?"
\tGabriela shook her head. "No, it's nothing like that." She looked at Julie intently. "You know Conrad and I were lovers."
\tJulie nodded. "Alvin told me."
\t"What I did not tell him is that I am carrying Conrad's child."
\tJulie and I both stared at her. "Well, that's great!" I said, breaking into a grin. I looked up at Julie. "You're going to have a little brother or sister!"
\t"Well," said Julie, looking dazed, "that's quite a surprise! Did my father know about this?"
\tGabriela nodded. "Yes. He wanted to surprise you with it, but he never got the chance. He also planned to marry me, but again . . ."
\tJulie sighed. "Look, I don't know what kind of arrangements Dad made in his will, but I assume he would have made sure that you and the baby would be provided for. If not, you will be. In any case, I don't really care about the house. You can live there if you want to. My life is in Millennium City, with Alvin." She smiled at me.
\tGabriela smiled as well. "I would like you to be the baby's godparents, if that's all right. After all, if it wasn't for you, it never would have had a chance to be born."
\t"I'd be honored," I said.
\t"Me too," said Julie.
\tGabriela looked relieved. "Good. Well, I wish you both happiness. Come and visit us sometime. Vaya con Dios."
\t"You too," said Julie.
\tWe both got into the car. Julie sat staring straight ahead for a moment, then began giggling and banging her head against the steering wheel.
\t"Interesting reaction," I commented.
\tJulie threw her head back against her seat. "I'm just letting it all out. God, I'm going to have a sibling who's twenty-five years younger than me!"
\tI nodded. "That's quite an age difference."
\tShe looked at me. "And you're going to be a godfather."
\tI made like Brando. "It was an offer I couldn't refuse!"
\tJulie laughed and shook her head. "Alvin, you're impossible!"
\t"No, just highly improbable." I looked at her. "So, back to business?"
\tJulie nodded, turned the ignition key, and threw the car into gear, and we headed back toward Millennium City.
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