Fool me once, shame on me. Fool me twice, shame on me. Right back to how it was last night--how exciting. No Steempy, no TV, no noises, no notheeng. Just me, and this steamy-hot, deleecious deener in front of me. My stomach was growling loudly. ...Fuck it, I'll eat the food again. Alone again, might I add... I took one bite, and-- MMM-MMMMMMM, now THIS is DELEECIOUS...like ALL of your MEALS, MMMMMMMMMM-MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMPPPH, do I ENJOY EGLAAAAZED HAAAMMMMMM~! I delibrately hollered my words aloud, just so he heard me...just so he knew that I still cared about him. Why...he made me feel so good about myself, over the years passed. Before...I...I was a piece of FUCKING SHIT...a DEESGRACE, an IRREDEEMABLE DEESGRACE, FUCK!!! W...wi....w-without him...I...I... The ham was tasting saltier...it was obvious...because I was crying, right now. My chewing got slower, and I tightened my grip on the fork. It has to be me...it's all my fault! ... "Goddammit, I know you're there. Come on out..." Ren must have 6th sense...everytime I was about to approach him, he had one of his long, charming ears raised up for me...oh that was why-- SHOVE--! Whoa--Ren suddenly pushed the plate across the table, and the plate was now playing see-saw on the other end...I would say that looks like fun, but Ren didn't look like he wanted any, right now....gulp-- Then, I turned around...wait, why am I turning around? "NO! You will NOT LEAVE! You STOP HERE, and LISTEN TO ME!" Ren yelled. It was like something was in me...as if it MADE me TOO AFRAID to TURN AROUND and see those eyes have that raging fire in them! GOD, I could feel my spine tingling, and NOT in a good way-- Ren grabbed me by the shoulders, and turned me around...but he didn't. Or maybe couldn't? That was kinda weird... Then, he circled around in front of me. Oh no....I've done wrong! I could see it in his face that he's about to have an outburst....ohhhh...I...I d-don't like it when he b-barks-- "I WORK A 9-TO-5, I PAY THE BILLS, I RUN THIS HOUSE, I'M IN CHARGE! THE LEAST YOU COULD DO IS SAY 'HI' TO ME!" But Ren, I have! I HAVE said 'hi' to you, all this time! Am I not doing it the way you want me to? Okay then-- HI, REN! HI MISTER HOEK, HOW ARE YA? Is that enough for you, huh? Or was that just not KIND ENOUGH FOR YOU? ...Ren was silent the whole time. His eye twitched...his eyes turned bloodshot, and I saw the RED in them...he was trembling.... Oh no....I went too far. His arm shook, and he slowly raised his hand... Please God no... Nononono, NO! ... Anticlimatically, I dropped my hand. I couldn't do it...I couldn't slap him. I lacked the mean streak I used to have... As I looked at my stoopid feet...the laughter came back. Ever since yesterday...the mirthfulness slowly was coming back. Distant memories decided to mock me again, clawing at my soul-- NUDGE-- The damned fat cat pushed past me, and I watched his frame...his tubby frame, along with that bouncing bigbooty, all of that causually into the darkness, before I heard that infamous creak sounding like that one time he farted on a medicine ball...and soon, the door was shut. I looked down at my fee--FUCK, MAN. Angrily, I made my way towards the table, up went my palm...down it went as a fist-- SLAM-- SHATTER. I flinched--my dinner was ruined. All my fault. I sighed, and went ahead and cleaned up the mess I made. After that, I paced around back and forth in the kitchen. This was killing me...why wasn't Steempy acting normal? What happened? Why was it happening...? What the FUCK?!? I couldn't take it anymore...I needed some relief. Yeah, that's what I need. Some well-earned relief. I took out a match, lit it aflame. Looking at the bit of fire perched on the end of it made me giddy..I couldn't wait to do it, oh yes, YES, I couldn't wait. Flick~ FWOOOOOOMMMMMMMM~! Yessssss, I just stood there n' watched everything...everything BUUURRNEEEENNGGGGG...I didn't care if it CONSUMED it all, I wanted to watched it ALL BURN DOWN. Good riddance, firewood. That was what you were there for--to sit and rot in that fireplace, and let some fuckface like me expedite the suffering for you. But it still wasn't enough...the fire, as much as it relieved, also...perturbed me. It made me discover I still have plenty left in the tank. I was still frustrated, and the pangs in my heart was eating me ALIVE! I knew I had to--I leapt forth...into the couch, gripped that fucking peellow in my hands and bore my nails into the soft fabric, maniacally sinking my eyes into that eenoncent surface, grinding my teeth...and then I sunk my face into the peellow, embeddening my face through all the fluff, and started crying out as loud as I could. I cried, and cried, and cried...GOD, was it depressing to weep, but it was also so euphoric. I HAD to let this out, no matter what! I didn't care if I looked foolish--that my tiny glutes tightened as I sniffled, that I was banging my feet on the arm of the couch, that my ears floppped up and down like sad, sad, windshield wipers...I just kept crying. Finally, I yanked my face out of the pillow, looked up into that glowing heaven which was the illuminated ceiling, and shouted-- Am I doing something WRONG?! Something in me made me continue-- I embrace him, spoon him in bed, compliment on his cooking, praise him for his cleaning, encourage him on inventions that actually seem USEFUL, tell him what a 'GUD KITTY' he is! Am I doing something WRONG?! I watched that ceiling for a long time. I wondered if a mouth would emerge and tell me the answer...but that only happens when I'm in a deep, mad episode. Now I kept droning out my feelings-- H-have...have I somehow SAPPED the happiness outta him, and brought it unto me?! Am I being TOO HAPPY for him? I don't get it...does he ENJOY big, mean Ren instead?! Did...did I...answer my own question? I always thought abouut this once we admitted our mutual gayness...was the newer me, the current me--the happier me--slowly overtaking him? I mean, I've never been so happier in my life...til now...but the joyfulness I have now was something Steempy never really saw me exhibit back then, aside from a small burst here or there. I rested my hand upon my chin, continuing to ponder...and this time, aloud-- Maybe that's just it--he LUVS our contrast. Bad cop, good cop...yeah, that's right. I'll be mean~ I cracked Da Vinci's Code.... As I stared into the pillow in front of me, with the Rorsasch test I made formed by my tears, I decided to fluff the peellow, pinched the corners of them and tucked them out, until it vaguely looked like the eediot. Then, I drew my feet up and proceeded to kick the everloving sheet out of that blasted piece of furniture! Feathers went flying, who gives a fuck, they all need to fall eventually...just like how everything was going for me! Soon, the entire thing exploded into a swarm of feathers...I breathed hard, and the fire within me still brimming with power~! The thought of becoming a big, mean jerk again was exciting...I wanted to exact my power upon that fuckeeng cat...and...and...ooooohhh, GOD~ My...my boner~ There it was, throbbing in my lap. I started stroking it...my angry high being fed into my penis...mmmmmmppphhh, the fact that I'm turned on by thinking about being such an abusive deectator over Steempy...gosh, it was making me so hard! Yeah...yeah...YESSSSSSS! I'm going to go into the bedroom, thrust that door open, jump onto that bed, look right at that precious face...and....and... I got distracted by a photo of the tail-less feline on the stand next to the other end of the couch, his face frozen in a perpetual state of innocent joy...his smile big and jubilant, with his wide, soft, wet tongue sticking out. COME BACK TO MEEEEE! I screamed that aloud to the photo. Now, I was gripping it hard, and I continue to beg to it-- C'MONNNNN, STEEMPY! I WANT THE REAL ONE TO BE JUST LIKE YOU! FUCK...I CAN'T BE MEAN! I DON'T WANNA BE MEAN! WHY CAN'T WE WORK THINGS OUT? I sobbed, unable to say anymore. My love for him was paramount--I loved that dumbfuck so much that I became dumbfucked, as I started smooching on the glass cover of the photo frame, wishing I could see that dimwitted smile as a silent response to all the love that I so desperately wanted to give to the authentic one. ... I got carried away. I actually shouted at him, with no joy behind it, this time. ...Was Ren making me angry like him, too? My brain is hurting...I feel so conflicted, right now. Yeah, I can't pretend that I didn't do it...that I didn't shout at him like a rude feline. That wasn't okay. No sir. I should have talked to him reasonably. I am an adult n' all. Right now, I was in bed, with the sheets already over me, my eyes staring into the ceiling, with moonlight leaning on it. I should get up and apologize...but suddenly, I felt really sleepy...like REALLY TIRED SLEEPY EXHAUSTED. Wow, I must be so pooped...all I did was...made meals...went to the bathroom...took a shower...washed the clothes...ohhhh, here came the dream land...chuggah chuggah...chooo, choooo....I was halfway towards make-pretend world... Then, I saw a giant glass globe shatter in front of me...but in my city, one guy stole and broke about eleven of those things. But I have a feeling I shouldn't have sent the grip. Abolish the afternoons. Illegal instructions...ages three and up...uuuggghhhhh.... ZZZZZZZZZZZZZ........... Then, something touch me. My lips were wet. I must be sleepdrinking, again... Huh...some, something's grabbing me...holding me by the face. But it wasn't rough. It was gentle. While that was going on, I felt the glass touch my lips, but no water came through. Wait...glass cups kiss back? Oh...it's...it's Ren. My tired eyes opened, barely able to make out the fuzzy images of those pink eyes floating over me. I heard him chuckling. I was fading in and out of my mind...I think he said something. Think I was supposed to say something, also. What was it...lemme hug Ren, maybe it would--Yeah....mmmmmgghhh...I know what to say... Love you too, Ren, mmmmmmmpphhh~ I turned over to get comfy, and fell back to sleep, again. ... Ren pouted, furious as he climbed back onto the bed. Before he went to sleep, he clicked on a nightlight--which was the same photo of Stimpy he was crying at earlier, the frame of the picture outlined in warm, dim lights. He gave it several, pleading blinks with his puppy eyes, and let out a whine so cute that it would even make Stimpy on a normal day blush, then went to sleep. The chihuahua was so distraught from what had been going on with the cat that he didn't think much of that vandalized bit of wallpaper having been torn off a while ago.