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People say that it is a cold, indifferent place that does not care whether you win or lose, succeed or fail, live or die. For the most part, that is true. But some people seem to be loved by the world, always succeeding and getting what they want, no matter what. And there are some who are despised by the world, always suffering and struggling no matter how hard they try to avoid it. Whenever it seems like they would get a foothold, it would crumble away, and the pain would come back, worse than before. \n\nMelias believed he was someone that the world just hated.\n\nIt wasn’t any single thing. Life just seemed to have it out for him. He was different. He was different from almost everyone else, in almost every way. And, as he sat in the faculty office on his first day at college, that was being made very clear to him once again.\n\n“Okay, Melias. Did I pronounce that right?”\n\n“Melias. Rhymes with smelliest.”\n\nThe guidance counselor—a rhino named Mr. Rachardin, as the placard on his desk said—laughed. “My mistake. Okay, Melias… says here that… oh, okay, right. I see the problem. How did that happen? The system should have prevented this…”\n\nYes, of course the thing that shouldn’t have happened happened to him.\n\n“Well, let’s see what we can do.” Mr. Rachardin drummed his fingers on the desk as he read his computer screen. “Crow?” he said, suddenly.\n\nMelias closed his eyes. It never got any easier. “Yes, crow.”\n\n“S-sorry,” Mr. Rachardin said. “I didn’t mean to say that out loud. I meant no disrespect.”\n\n“I understand.”\n\nThe counselor leaned back in his chair as he continued typing on his keyboard. “Um, if you’re not comfortable with this, just let me know… but, are you albino?”\n\n“No. Leucistic.”\n\nMr. Rachardin turned his head. Sorry, I’ve heard that word before, but…”\n\nYes, he probably has. But Melias is probably the first leucistic person he’s met. Yes, when the world hates you, it reminds you whenever it has an opportunity. He took a breath, and launched into his well-practiced explanation. “Albinism is a complete loss of melanin, which is the pigment that determines how dark your fur or feathers are, as well as the colour of your eyes. Other pigments are not affected, so people with albinism may retain some of their colour. In either case, their eyes are always red. Leucism is a partial loss in all pigments, which leads to a wide variety of outcomes, from slightly desaturated colours, all the way to a complete loss of colour. In my case, I have no pigment in my feathers, but my eyes remain normal.”\n\nMr. Rachardin nodded. “I see. Well, that certainly makes you unique!”\n\nYeah, Melias was aware of that. He was acutely, painfully aware of that.\n\n“Anyway, it looks like I can resolve the scheduling conflict. There’s another CS-1228 course available that doesn’t interfere with any of your other classes.” Mr. Rachardin rotated his monitor toward Melias, who leaned forward and read the screen. The new classes added weird gaps to his schedule. Because of course they did. He was kind of liking the way his schedule had shaped up, but nice things are fake, aren’t they?\n\n“Okay.”\n\n“Great. I’ll send that off to your school email. Do you know how to access it?”\n\n“Yes.”\n\nMr. Rachardin looked at Melias, his eyes narrowing ever so slightly. The crow felt judged. What, was he too terse? Was this guy expecting small talk? Does he think he’s just an asshole? Anxiety swelled in his chest. He just wanted to get out of here and be alone. \n\n“Well, er, is there anything else I can help you with?”\n\n“No.”\n\n“O-okay. Well, have a nice day, Melias. And sorry again about—”\n\nMelias stood up. “It’s fine. Thank you for your help, Mr. Rachardin.” He turned around and walked out of the office. It took only a few minutes, but it felt like an hour to him. Those kinds of interactions were just so draining. Say something wrong, and people jump down your throat. Don’t say anything at all, and people act like you’re planning to stab them. You just can’t win.\n\nAs he got to the hallway, he pulled out his phone. Still about 45 minutes until class. With nothing better to do, he decided to go to the library. He spent a lot of time holed up in the library at his high school, and took comfort in having a place where it was socially unacceptable to bother him. He went to the school’s interactive map and got directions. \n\nAs he walked the halls toward his destination, he looked at the faces of the other students as they crossed paths. They were all looking at him, weren’t they? Trying to figure out why he looked so weird? Trying to figure out what kinda bird he was? If he was even a bird at all? He slouched and sped up, keeping his arms close to his body as he held the straps of his backpack. Just keep your head down. It’ll all be fine. It’ll all be fine.\n\nAnd it was. Sooner than he expected—maybe because he was just lost in his own thoughts—he reached the library. As he stood just inside the entrance, he looked around, overawed. He couldn’t believe how big it was. Aisles of books in every direction, and it even had two levels. And in a so-called ‘small college!’ He couldn’t imagine how big the libraries at the fancy universities must be. Even all the people bustling about couldn’t dampen his excitement. \n\nHe took a few steps forward, then caught the staircase out of the corner of his eye. He jogged over to it and leapt up the stairs, jumping two at a time, until he got to the upper level. After exploring for a bit, he found a nook to slide into. He sat on the floor and pulled out his laptop, then logged in to the library’s system. But before he could search for any books, he heard a commotion at the lower level. His stomach turned. Figures. Just figures. Can’t get any peace, even at a library. Whatever. It wasn’t his problem. It was fine. But those voices were getting kind of loud…\n\nHe pushed himself to his feet and ambled over to the railing. Toward the entrance on the lower level, a few people were berating a… a… something? The figure was tall and slim, much like himself, with a bunch of orangish-red fur on its head, but… nowhere else? The parts of its body not obscured by clothes seemed very, very pale. Was it shaved? And was ‘it’ a man or a woman? Or something else entirely? He wanted to go down and check things out, but his aversion to conflict was stronger, so he stayed at the top, watching from a safe distance. The strange figure recoiled and put its hands up as one of the people—some kind of lupine—got closer to him. Even from this distance, Melias could see the snarl on her face.\n\n“Hey, hey, hey!” yelled a lanyard-wearing moose from across the library. He marched over to the group and gestured wildly, his arms swinging around as he pointed at each of the assailants. Most of them seemed cowed, but the snarling lupine argued back. Her voice got louder and louder, until she finally shouted loud enough for everyone in the library to hear.\n\n“Because he’s a filthy fucking human, that’s why!”\n\nMelias’ eyes went wide as his white beak hung open. A human? Here? There were no humans here! They weren’t even[i] allowed [/i]to be here! He had certainly heard the stories and seen the pictures. Terrifyingly tall, horribly heavy, and awfully aggressive, humans had to be kept away, for the safety of everyone! And yet… he looked back at the human, who had moved himself—she did say ‘he,’ right?—to a chair. The man slouched forward, elbows on his knees, hands over the back of his neck. He didn’t look like a danger to anyone. \n\nMelias looked back at the lupine, who was getting an absolute earful from the moose. After a little more of that, she spun around and flounced out of the library, glaring at the human as she left. The moose walked over to the human and knelt down next to him. Melias was taken aback by the size difference. The moose was taller, bigger, had a nasty set of antlers on his head… what did the human have? Melias studied the unfamiliar form as the two talked, and he really couldn’t see anything dangerous at all. What was so scary about him? \n\nAfter a bit, the two stood up, and the human walked into the library proper. Maybe Melias was imagining things, but it did seem like everyone else was giving him a wide berth. The human turned in his direction, and Melias was suddenly aware that he was gawking like a tourist at a museum, so he spun around and went back to his cranny.\n\nHe looked up the library’s system again, and, after familiarizing himself with the search engine, found the scientific journals. Even though he knew very little about humans, he had heard the stories, so perhaps formal papers would be a reliable source of information. And yet, as he read through the highest impact papers, he saw nothing but bias. Humans, they said, demonstrated elevated levels of arrogance, dishonesty, delusion, violence, avariciousness, and hatred. It went on to say that those who interacted with humans were more likely to find themselves as both perpetrators and victims of violent crimes. There were even very professional and scientific looking graphs to prove it. Melias cocked an eyebrow. It felt like lying with stats to him. Maybe it was true, but it smelled very strongly of racism to him. He had heard very similar things written about all sorts of species, but they were never true. \n\nWell, they were, but none of it was specific to any race. Those traits were found in everyone, so why discriminate? People would hurt you no matter what they looked or sounded like. Best to just keep to yourself. That’s how Melias had survived. \n\nAs he closed the page, his phone vibrated in his pocket. One new message from ‘Pop.’ \n\n[10:34:45] Pop: hey, Mel! everything going okay?\n\nMelias immediately felt a little better. For all of his cynicism, there was one bright spot that never went dark: his parents. When the rest of the world showed him contempt, they showed him love and care. They wanted him when his biological parents didn’t. He wouldn’t be here without them.\n\nBut that was yet another way in which Melias was different. To this day, he never knew his biological parents, or why he was given up. He imagined that they had feathers blacker than night, and that they didn’t want a child that looked like a snowcrow. Or maybe they just couldn’t support him. He didn’t know. And, if he was being honest, he didn’t really care. Okay, maybe a bit. But not enough to do anything about it.\n\nOh, maybe he should answer Pop.\n\n[10:37:03] Melias: Hi, Pop. They double-booked my schedule, so I had to have that fixed. Aside from that, I’m fine.\n[10:37:55] Pop: oh that’s annoying. still, for the most part, college is a lot of nothing 99% of the time\n[10:38:26] Melias: Actually, there was a commotion in the library. There’s a human here. I think he’s a student.\n[10:38:42] Pop: really? a human? are you sure?\n[10:39:14] Melias: I’m not. But a lupine started harassing him, and she said that it was because he was a human.\n[10:38:36] Pop: wow, what an asshole! hey, let me go get Dad. he knows more about this than me\n\nMelias nodded to himself. His father—his other one—was a social support worker specializing in particularly downtrodden people, and often had pretty wild stories to tell. It wouldn’t surprise him if he had seen a few humans in his time. \n\n“Umm, excuse me?”\n\nMelias’ head shot up. Even before he saw the source of the voice, his muscles tensed, ready to spring away at a moment’s notice. But when he saw his questioner, those muscles locked tight, unable to move at all.\n\nIt was the human. Right there. Right in front of him. \n\nHis eyes darted around the man’s form, searching for any dangerous features. And yet he found none. No beak, no claws, nothing sharp anywhere. Even his teeth looked dull. And he wasn’t that big at all. Hell, Melias was pretty sure he was the bigger of the two. \n\n“S-sorry, I’m not bothering you, am I?” the human said. His voice was soft and gentle. It almost reminded Melias of Pop’s voice. But he didn’t know what his expression meant. And in the face of uncertainty, he couldn’t let his guard down. \n\n“What do you want?” he said, emphasizing the edge in his corvine voice.\n\nThe human winced and shrunk back. “Never mind. Sorry for bothering you,” he said as he scurried away. \n\nAn unexpected pang of guilt hit Melias. Was that necessary? He saw the way the human recoiled from the lupine woman. If he were actually dangerous, he would have stood up for himself. Was he [i]really [/i]one of these so-called dreadful humans? He probably had to deal with this all the time. Always getting looks, always getting treated badly, always dealing with everyone else’s bullshit.\n\nHe was different. Just like Melias. And Melias had done to the human what others had done to him. Stupid bird. Idiot bird.\n\nBefore he could dwell on it, his phone buzzed again. He looked down to see that he had a new message from ‘Dad.’\n\n[10:46:02] Dad: Mel! Pop tells me that you saw a human at your college?\n[10:46:20] Melias: Hi, Dad. Yes, I believe so. At least, that’s what someone said.\n[10:46:33] Dad: What did they look like?\n[10:47:10] Melias: Thin, unremarkable height. Perhaps a little shorter than me. He had no fur, except for on his head. His skin was very pale.\n[10:47:26] Dad: Wow! That certainly sounds like a human. Poor guy :(\n[10:47:37] Melias: Poor guy?\n[10:48:02] Dad: Humans have it tough.\n[10:48:13] Melias: Yes… that seems to be the case.\n\nGuilt hit him again as he remembered the human’s cringing face. He had always told himself that he wasn’t going to hurt anyone else the way they hurt him, but his self-defense instincts had—\n\nNo. No excuses. He had to be better. He had to be [i]perfect[/i], so no one else would get hurt. Not him, not anyone. \n\nHe wanted to ask his dad some questions, but then noticed the time. If he didn’t get going now, he’d be late for class. After sending goodbye messages to his parents, he stood up and walked to the stairs. Part of him hoped he’d see the human again. The guy probably didn’t want anything to do with him, but he at least wanted to apologize. The thought of someone being in pain because of him sat in his stomach like a cinder block. Bird-brained moron. This is why no one liked him. This is why no one wanted to be his friend. This is why…\n\nNo, no, stop that. He remembered back to what his therapist told him. Entertaining your negative thoughts only internalizes them and damages your self-esteem even more. Be gentle with yourself. Give yourself permission to make mistakes.\n\nBut he didn’t deserve gentleness. He deserved to feel bad. Deserved it for being such a loser freak. He sighed and shook his head. He was going to be late, so he buried his emotions, jogged down the stairs, and made his way out of the library. The human was nowhere to be found. Maybe they’d meet again. He hoped so.\n\nWait, Melias, hoping he’d see someone again? What was getting into him?\n\nHis literature and mathematics classes were back-to-back, and nothing out of the ordinary happened in either. People stared at him and his unusual colour, and life went on. When it was over, he set off to his dorm, nerves on high alert. He had grown up in this city, but his parents lived all the way across town. It was either cramped, hour-long bus rides, twice a day, or living in a tiny dorm with a random stranger. His parents told him that the experience of living away from home would be good for him, so here he was. But he was having second thoughts. He didn’t want to be here. He didn’t want to be in his dorm. He wanted to be home. \n\nBut, less than fifteen minutes later, his dorm is where he found himself. He pushed open the door, nearly hitting Xaza, his roommate.\n\n“Whoa, Melias! Watch what yer doin’!” the short tabby said as he hopped backward.\n\n“Sorry.”\n\n“Hey, no problem! How’d your day go?” Xaza asked as he began putting on his shoes.\n\n“Fine.”\n\nThe cat chuckled. “Man, you really aren’t one for talking, are ya?”\n\n“Sorry.” Melias felt like the walls were closing in on him. Xaza was friendly. Too friendly. Melias did not do well with friendly. Friendly people always wanted to talk and ask you how your day went and invite you out to do things. God, he hated ‘doing things.’ He just wanted to get on his laptop and retreat back into the spaces where he felt the smallest semblance of comfort. \n\n“I’m off to cheer on my bud! He’s trying out for the rastock team!”\n\nUgh. [i]Sports. [/i]Just an excuse for a bunch of grown men to get noisy, loud, and belligerent. Melias had to fight to keep a straight face. “I see.”\n\nXaza frowned, his ears going flat on his head. “Alright, I’ll get out of your feathers. Take it easy, Melias.”\n\n“Thank you.” The response felt rude, so he searched for something more to say. “I hope your friend wins.”\n\n“Thanks, pal,” Xaza said as he walked out of the room. \n\nA mixture of relief and shame hit Melias. Why couldn’t he just be normal? Why couldn’t he talk to people when they talked to him? \n\nWell, at least the cat was gone now… Melias felt the tension slowly draining from his body as sweet solitude, his best friend, surrounded him. He pulled his laptop out of his backpack and fell back on his bed, letting the afternoon turn to evening, and then to night.\n\nAs the sun went down and coated the room in darkness, Melias still wasn’t fully relaxed. That damn human. Their brief interaction was really sticking to him. He was used to rebuffing people who tried to talk to him, and it never bugged him before. So why was it bugging him now? Was it what Dad said? Humans have it tough… he could certainly see that. The discrimination was everywhere. But why?\nWhy did everyone hate humans so much?\n\nHe sent Dad a message asking if he was around for a phone call. No response. While he waited, he decided to do more searching online, but it really wasn’t turning up much that was useful to him. He found an old message board thread, over twenty years old, and gave it a quick read.\n\n‘idk ive met a few humans and theyre pretty much just like, normal. ppl always talking like theyre gonna eat me or something lol but i dont even see how? like have you seen their “claws” lmao just bite their throat out if they fuck with you’\n\n‘My great grandma was a refugee from the North Coast Conflict. When she was a kid, she had to hide her basement with a cabinet over the trap door for a week so that the humans wouldn’t rape or kill them. Her town went from over a thousand people to under a hundred because of those bastards.’\n\n‘HUMANS ARE GAY’\n\nMelias rolled his eyes. He was glad that casual homophobia as an insult had since fallen out of vogue. Still, that second post was strange. What did that old war have to do with anything? As he made another search, his phone rang next to him. He picked it up and looked at the display. “Dad.” He answered.\n\n“Hello?”\n\n“Hey, Mel.”\n\nMelias couldn’t help but smile a little. A familiar, friendly voice was just what he needed right now. But something sounded off. “Are you okay, Dad?”\n\n“I’m fine. Just tired. I only got home from work fifteen minutes ago.”\n\nMelias looked at the clock. “But it’s past ten.”\n\n“Yes, I know,” his dad said, wearily. “There was a mishap at work today and a couple of us had to stay late printing off client records. Two thousand, seven-hundred and fifty-three client records.”\n\n“That sounds terrible. I’m sorry.”\n\n“Hey, at least they pay overtime,” his dad said, laughing mirthlessly. “But enough about me… how did your day go?”\n\n“Nothing interesting, aside from the incident in the library.”\n\n“With the human?”\n\n“Yes. Dad, have you met any of them before?”\n\n“Yep, a few.”\n\n“What were they like?”\n\n“Like most of the people we see. Scared. Lonely. Hurting. Desperately looking for help.”\n\n“The human I saw had no beak, no claws, no horns… are they really as dangerous as people say?”\n\nHis dad took a deep breath. “Right. Where do I even begin… okay, so, it’s really complicated, but—”\n\nThe door flew open, and Mel flinched in his bed, nearly dropping his phone. Xaza burst into the middle of the room with a single leap and turned toward the crow.\n\n“Hey, Melias! How—oops, sorry!” he said.\n\n“Who’s that?” Melias’ dad asked.\n\n“Sorry, I should go,” said Melias, his voice getting quiet.\n\n“Wait, everything okay?”\n\n“Yes, Dad. It’s just my roommate.”\n\n“What’s he like? We can finish this through text if you want.”\n\n“Okay. Talk to you then.”\n\n“Just send me a message when you’re ready. Bye, Mel!”\n\nThe call ended, and he was no closer to any answers. He had so many questions he wanted to ask. So many things he wanted to know. And this cat had to go screw it up. He went to pull up his texting app, but as he did, he was accosted by Xaza.\n\n“Talking to the ol’ Pop?”\n\n“No, Dad.”\n\nXaza furrowed his brow. “That’s what I said.”\n\n“Oh. Right. Yes.”\n\nXaza fell back on his bed and yawned. “Whew, I’m tired! Tryouts went so long!” The cat looked at the clock on Melias’ night stand. “Man, seriously? I knew it was late, but not past ten.” He sighed. “I got class at eight in the morning tomorrow, so I think I’m just gonna turn in now. I’m fine with a little light and noise, but don’t get wild, alright?”\n\nMelias, get wild? For a moment, he envisioned himself at a party with a large funnel stuffed in his beak, beer pouring into the spout. “That’s okay. I’m not loud.”\n\nXaza grinned. “Nah, didn’t think so.” Without warning, the cat yanked his shirt off and tossed it into his laundry hamper. \n\nMelias recoiled as his eyes went wide for a moment. Was this guy really just ripping his clothes off?\n\nXaza reached down to his pants, then stopped and turned to the bird. “Oh, shit! Sorry, man. I shoulda asked first. I sleep naked. Does that bug you?”\n\nJust totally naked? Not even in his underwear? Melias glanced at the cat’s lithe, flexible body. Well, at least he was nice to look at… but still! He swallowed. “It’s fine.”\n\n“You sure? You seem uncomfortable. I don’t wanna—”\n\n“No, it’s fine. You just surprised me.”\n\nXaza nodded. “Well, sorry.” He pulled his pants off, curled them up in a ball, and tossed them overhand into the laundry hamper. “Suh-wish!”\n\nMelias [i]was [/i]uncomfortable, but not for the reason Xaza probably thought. He couldn’t remember the last time he was around someone naked. Maybe never. But he had to admit that he was kind of enjoying it. For all of his introversion and difficulties with talking to others, he still had his… predilections. And this cat was checking a lot of boxes. He glanced down at his phone, trying not to gawp, but he couldn’t help but look out of the corner of his eyes as Xaza yanked off his underwear. \n\nThe first thing he noticed was the fuzzy, firm scrotum, extending slightly forward. It wobbled softly as the cat tossed his underwear toward the laundry hamper and missed.\n\n“Bah!” Xaza said as he marched over to pick them up. His long tail swished back and forth as Melias stared at his soft-looking, but well-shaped ass. The cat leaned forward, one leg planted on the floor, the other extended back in the air, and picked up his fallen clothes. His scrotum dangled down as he did so, and Melias’ chest went tight. After putting his underwear in the hamper, Xaza twirled around and skipped back to his bed, his balls bouncing up and down as he did so. \n\nMelias looked down and cursed his… everything. He cursed his inability to talk to other people. He cursed his fear of physical intimacy. He cursed his homosexuality for making him so turned on by other men. And he cursed his debilitating obsession with testicles.\n\n[i]God, [/i]Melias fucking loved balls. He just wanted to hold them, to roll them around in his hands, to lick them, to rub his beak against them. He loved big balls and he loved small balls. He loved dangly balls and he loved tight balls. He loved the way they swung back and forth when tops fucked. He loved it all, and getting a show in person lit a scorching hot fire in his hormone-addled, barely-adult body. \n\nBut that heat was met with a blast of cold from the other direction. Before he could ruminate, however, a voice interrupted him.\n\n“Can ya get your lamp?” Xaza asked. Melias’ head swung over toward the cat, who was in bed and facing the wall. He leaned over and turned off the light, leaving his phone screen as the only source of illumination in the room. “Thanks. Good night, Melias.”\n\n“Good night.”\n\nMelias sighed. [i]Now [/i]he could ruminate. The tension grew as he thought of his own body. After taking another look at Xaza to make sure he was still facing away, he lifted his pants and stared at his own groin. No penis. No external testicles. Just one single cloaca that he couldn’t see from this angle. Yet another way that Melias was different. Even most avians had penises. He knew both of his fathers did. But he didn’t. \n\nHe let go of his pants, which snapped back onto his hips, then fell back on the bed, his head hitting the pillow. He didn’t [i]hate [/i]his cloaca or anything. In fact, he kind of liked it. It felt nice to play with. But it was different. It was so different. Even if he could get past his difficulties with talking to others, how could he show it to them? They would laugh. They would think he’s a freak. They would have no interest. Even if, by some divine miracle—or, more likely, divine error—someone actually wanted to be intimate with him… they probably wouldn’t fit inside. Sure, he was able to get some smaller toys in, but he had seen how big the lupines or equines got. He had no chance of fitting anyone like that inside of him and anyone foolish enough to try would just be let down. Best just to keep his fantasies to himself, where they couldn’t hurt anyone. \n\nHe closed his eyes. As he lay there, unaware of how much time was or was not passing, his phone buzzed. He pulled it up and checked his notifications. One message from Dad.\n\n“Shit…” he said, under his breath. He had totally forgotten.\n\n[22:18:55] Dad: Everything going okay, Mel?\n[22:19:13] Melias: Yes, Dad. Sorry. I was distracted.\n[22:19:27] Dad: Making a friend? :)\n[22:19:50] Melias: No. He’s already asleep. I just got distracted and forgot to get back to you. I’m sorry.\n[22:20:17] Dad: That’s no problem at all! Just wanted to make sure everything was alright.\n[22:20:40] Dad: I hope he’s not making you uncomfortable.\n[22:20:56] Melias: He keeps trying to have conversations with me.\n[22:21:02] Dad: Ah, Mel…\n[22:21:10] Melias: I know, I know. \n[22:21:27] Dad: Sorry. I’m not trying to be pushy. But give it a try, okay?\n[22:21:35] Melias: I’ll just embarrass myself.\n[22:21:48] Melias: I don’t have anything interesting to say, anyway.\n[22:21:53] Dad: :(\n[22:22:17] Dad: Come on, Mel. You know that’s not true. I’ve seen the way you light up when you talk about the things you care about. You just need to find someone you gel with.\n\nMelias sighed. He knew that Dad was right. It was just too scary. He would find someone interesting, screw up, and people would get hurt. It had happened before and it would happen again. It was far safer to just keep away.\n\n[22:22:36] Melias: Sorry.\n\nHe sighed and let his arms fall to his sides. He looked over at Xaza, who was completely under his blanket, except for his ears sticking out. Perhaps the tabby had the right idea. An early night was sounding pretty good right now. His phone buzzed.\n\n[22:24:11] Dad: Anyway… did you want to keep going with our conversation?\n\nOh, right, the human. His head buzzed with questions, but a big yawn forced its way out of his beak. Maybe he’d ask just one…\n\n[22:25:27] Melias: Yes. Earlier, I asked if humans are as dangerous as they say. It seems clear that they aren’t, but is there any truth in the stories?\n[22:25:41] Dad: Well, like I said, it’s very complicated. Can I call back?\n[22:25:53] Melias: My roommate went to sleep, remember?\n[22:25:59] Dad: Oh\n[22:26:02] Dad: Damn\n[22:26:16] Melias: I am quite tired, myself. Maybe we should talk about this later. \n[22:26:28] Dad: Okay! Honestly, I should probably go to bed too. 2753 records… \n[22:26:56] Dad: Even with a bunch of us staying to do it, it still took ten hours straight of just printing.\n[22:27:05] Melias. Did you finish?\n[22:27:17] Dad: Yep, thankfully. But I’m so tired now.\n[22:27:30] Melias: Get some rest, Dad. You’ve earned it.\n[22:27:38] Dad: Thanks, Mel.\n[22:27:55] Dad: You know… you really are a sweetheart.\n\nMelias cringed. By now, he had learned to endure insults and threats. But compliments? He’d rather be put in the beak yanker.\n\n[22:28:10] Melias: Dad…\n[22:28:59] Dad: It’s true! One of these days, you’re gonna meet someone who’s just right for you, and you’re gonna make each other really happy. Just like me and Pop did.\n\nWhat did he do to deserve this abuse?\n\n[22:29:12] Melias: Dad, please stop… \n[22:29:39] Dad: Okay… I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to upset you. I just want you to be happy. You know that.\n\nGuilt struck again. If it were anyone other than Dad or Pop saying it, he’d call them a liar. But Dad really did care. Dad really did believe it. If only Melias could believe it too…\n\n[22:29:54] Melias: I know. Thank you. I appreciate it.\n[22:30:04] Melias: Even if sometimes I seem like I don’t.\n[22:30:10] Dad: :)\n[22:30:16] Dad: Thanks, Mel.\n[22:30:24] Dad: I’m exhausted. I think it’s time for bed. \n[22:30:44] Melias: Alright. Good night, Dad. I love you. Say good night to Pop for me.\n[22:31:12] Dad: I love you! Pop says good night and that he loves you, too. Sleep well! :)\n\nMelias put his phone on the table and slid deeper under his blankets. The sight of the human shrinking away from him replayed in his head once more. He didn’t even know him, but imagining what he must go through filled him with a strange sense of… kinship? Sympathy? He really wanted to apologize. As his eyes grew too heavy to keep open, he tried to think about what he would say. He rehearsed it in his head, trying to get the words just right. But gradually, words stopped coming at all as he drifted to sleep.\n", "writing_bbcode_parsed": "Melias had a theory about the world. People say that it is a cold, indifferent place that does not care whether you win or lose, succeed or fail, live or die. For the most part, that is true. But some people seem to be loved by the world, always succeeding and getting what they want, no matter what. And there are some who are despised by the world, always suffering and struggling no matter how hard they try to avoid it. Whenever it seems like they would get a foothold, it would crumble away, and the pain would come back, worse than before. 

Melias believed he was someone that the world just hated.

It wasn’t any single thing. Life just seemed to have it out for him. He was different. He was different from almost everyone else, in almost every way. And, as he sat in the faculty office on his first day at college, that was being made very clear to him once again.

“Okay, Melias. Did I pronounce that right?”

“Melias. Rhymes with smelliest.”

The guidance counselor—a rhino named Mr. Rachardin, as the placard on his desk said—laughed. “My mistake. Okay, Melias… says here that… oh, okay, right. I see the problem. How did that happen? The system should have prevented this…”

Yes, of course the thing that shouldn’t have happened happened to him.

“Well, let’s see what we can do.” Mr. Rachardin drummed his fingers on the desk as he read his computer screen. “Crow?” he said, suddenly.

Melias closed his eyes. It never got any easier. “Yes, crow.”

“S-sorry,” Mr. Rachardin said. “I didn’t mean to say that out loud. I meant no disrespect.”

“I understand.”

The counselor leaned back in his chair as he continued typing on his keyboard. “Um, if you’re not comfortable with this, just let me know… but, are you albino?”

“No. Leucistic.”

Mr. Rachardin turned his head. Sorry, I’ve heard that word before, but…”

Yes, he probably has. But Melias is probably the first leucistic person he’s met. Yes, when the world hates you, it reminds you whenever it has an opportunity. He took a breath, and launched into his well-practiced explanation. “Albinism is a complete loss of melanin, which is the pigment that determines how dark your fur or feathers are, as well as the colour of your eyes. Other pigments are not affected, so people with albinism may retain some of their colour. In either case, their eyes are always red. Leucism is a partial loss in all pigments, which leads to a wide variety of outcomes, from slightly desaturated colours, all the way to a complete loss of colour. In my case, I have no pigment in my feathers, but my eyes remain normal.”

Mr. Rachardin nodded. “I see. Well, that certainly makes you unique!”

Yeah, Melias was aware of that. He was acutely, painfully aware of that.

“Anyway, it looks like I can resolve the scheduling conflict. There’s another CS-1228 course available that doesn’t interfere with any of your other classes.” Mr. Rachardin rotated his monitor toward Melias, who leaned forward and read the screen. The new classes added weird gaps to his schedule. Because of course they did. He was kind of liking the way his schedule had shaped up, but nice things are fake, aren’t they?

“Okay.”

“Great. I’ll send that off to your school email. Do you know how to access it?”

“Yes.”

Mr. Rachardin looked at Melias, his eyes narrowing ever so slightly. The crow felt judged. What, was he too terse? Was this guy expecting small talk? Does he think he’s just an asshole? Anxiety swelled in his chest. He just wanted to get out of here and be alone. 

“Well, er, is there anything else I can help you with?”

“No.”

“O-okay. Well, have a nice day, Melias. And sorry again about—”

Melias stood up. “It’s fine. Thank you for your help, Mr. Rachardin.” He turned around and walked out of the office. It took only a few minutes, but it felt like an hour to him. Those kinds of interactions were just so draining. Say something wrong, and people jump down your throat. Don’t say anything at all, and people act like you’re planning to stab them. You just can’t win.

As he got to the hallway, he pulled out his phone. Still about 45 minutes until class. With nothing better to do, he decided to go to the library. He spent a lot of time holed up in the library at his high school, and took comfort in having a place where it was socially unacceptable to bother him. He went to the school’s interactive map and got directions. 

As he walked the halls toward his destination, he looked at the faces of the other students as they crossed paths. They were all looking at him, weren’t they? Trying to figure out why he looked so weird? Trying to figure out what kinda bird he was? If he was even a bird at all? He slouched and sped up, keeping his arms close to his body as he held the straps of his backpack. Just keep your head down. It’ll all be fine. It’ll all be fine.

And it was. Sooner than he expected—maybe because he was just lost in his own thoughts—he reached the library. As he stood just inside the entrance, he looked around, overawed. He couldn’t believe how big it was. Aisles of books in every direction, and it even had two levels. And in a so-called ‘small college!’ He couldn’t imagine how big the libraries at the fancy universities must be. Even all the people bustling about couldn’t dampen his excitement. 

He took a few steps forward, then caught the staircase out of the corner of his eye. He jogged over to it and leapt up the stairs, jumping two at a time, until he got to the upper level. After exploring for a bit, he found a nook to slide into. He sat on the floor and pulled out his laptop, then logged in to the library’s system. But before he could search for any books, he heard a commotion at the lower level. His stomach turned. Figures. Just figures. Can’t get any peace, even at a library. Whatever. It wasn’t his problem. It was fine. But those voices were getting kind of loud…

He pushed himself to his feet and ambled over to the railing. Toward the entrance on the lower level, a few people were berating a… a… something? The figure was tall and slim, much like himself, with a bunch of orangish-red fur on its head, but… nowhere else? The parts of its body not obscured by clothes seemed very, very pale. Was it shaved? And was ‘it’ a man or a woman? Or something else entirely? He wanted to go down and check things out, but his aversion to conflict was stronger, so he stayed at the top, watching from a safe distance. The strange figure recoiled and put its hands up as one of the people—some kind of lupine—got closer to him. Even from this distance, Melias could see the snarl on her face.

“Hey, hey, hey!” yelled a lanyard-wearing moose from across the library. He marched over to the group and gestured wildly, his arms swinging around as he pointed at each of the assailants. Most of them seemed cowed, but the snarling lupine argued back. Her voice got louder and louder, until she finally shouted loud enough for everyone in the library to hear.

“Because he’s a filthy fucking human, that’s why!”

Melias’ eyes went wide as his white beak hung open. A human? Here? There were no humans here! They weren’t even allowed to be here! He had certainly heard the stories and seen the pictures. Terrifyingly tall, horribly heavy, and awfully aggressive, humans had to be kept away, for the safety of everyone! And yet… he looked back at the human, who had moved himself—she did say ‘he,’ right?—to a chair. The man slouched forward, elbows on his knees, hands over the back of his neck. He didn’t look like a danger to anyone. 

Melias looked back at the lupine, who was getting an absolute earful from the moose. After a little more of that, she spun around and flounced out of the library, glaring at the human as she left. The moose walked over to the human and knelt down next to him. Melias was taken aback by the size difference. The moose was taller, bigger, had a nasty set of antlers on his head… what did the human have? Melias studied the unfamiliar form as the two talked, and he really couldn’t see anything dangerous at all. What was so scary about him? 

After a bit, the two stood up, and the human walked into the library proper. Maybe Melias was imagining things, but it did seem like everyone else was giving him a wide berth. The human turned in his direction, and Melias was suddenly aware that he was gawking like a tourist at a museum, so he spun around and went back to his cranny.

He looked up the library’s system again, and, after familiarizing himself with the search engine, found the scientific journals. Even though he knew very little about humans, he had heard the stories, so perhaps formal papers would be a reliable source of information. And yet, as he read through the highest impact papers, he saw nothing but bias. Humans, they said, demonstrated elevated levels of arrogance, dishonesty, delusion, violence, avariciousness, and hatred. It went on to say that those who interacted with humans were more likely to find themselves as both perpetrators and victims of violent crimes. There were even very professional and scientific looking graphs to prove it. Melias cocked an eyebrow. It felt like lying with stats to him. Maybe it was true, but it smelled very strongly of racism to him. He had heard very similar things written about all sorts of species, but they were never true. 

Well, they were, but none of it was specific to any race. Those traits were found in everyone, so why discriminate? People would hurt you no matter what they looked or sounded like. Best to just keep to yourself. That’s how Melias had survived. 

As he closed the page, his phone vibrated in his pocket. One new message from ‘Pop.’ 

[10:34:45] Pop: hey, Mel! everything going okay?

Melias immediately felt a little better. For all of his cynicism, there was one bright spot that never went dark: his parents. When the rest of the world showed him contempt, they showed him love and care. They wanted him when his biological parents didn’t. He wouldn’t be here without them.

But that was yet another way in which Melias was different. To this day, he never knew his biological parents, or why he was given up. He imagined that they had feathers blacker than night, and that they didn’t want a child that looked like a snowcrow. Or maybe they just couldn’t support him. He didn’t know. And, if he was being honest, he didn’t really care. Okay, maybe a bit. But not enough to do anything about it.

Oh, maybe he should answer Pop.

[10:37:03] Melias: Hi, Pop. They double-booked my schedule, so I had to have that fixed. Aside from that, I’m fine.
[10:37:55] Pop: oh that’s annoying. still, for the most part, college is a lot of nothing 99% of the time
[10:38:26] Melias: Actually, there was a commotion in the library. There’s a human here. I think he’s a student.
[10:38:42] Pop: really? a human? are you sure?
[10:39:14] Melias: I’m not. But a lupine started harassing him, and she said that it was because he was a human.
[10:38:36] Pop: wow, what an asshole! hey, let me go get Dad. he knows more about this than me

Melias nodded to himself. His father—his other one—was a social support worker specializing in particularly downtrodden people, and often had pretty wild stories to tell. It wouldn’t surprise him if he had seen a few humans in his time. 

“Umm, excuse me?”

Melias’ head shot up. Even before he saw the source of the voice, his muscles tensed, ready to spring away at a moment’s notice. But when he saw his questioner, those muscles locked tight, unable to move at all.

It was the human. Right there. Right in front of him. 

His eyes darted around the man’s form, searching for any dangerous features. And yet he found none. No beak, no claws, nothing sharp anywhere. Even his teeth looked dull. And he wasn’t that big at all. Hell, Melias was pretty sure he was the bigger of the two. 

“S-sorry, I’m not bothering you, am I?” the human said. His voice was soft and gentle. It almost reminded Melias of Pop’s voice. But he didn’t know what his expression meant. And in the face of uncertainty, he couldn’t let his guard down. 

“What do you want?” he said, emphasizing the edge in his corvine voice.

The human winced and shrunk back. “Never mind. Sorry for bothering you,” he said as he scurried away. 

An unexpected pang of guilt hit Melias. Was that necessary? He saw the way the human recoiled from the lupine woman. If he were actually dangerous, he would have stood up for himself. Was he really one of these so-called dreadful humans? He probably had to deal with this all the time. Always getting looks, always getting treated badly, always dealing with everyone else’s bullshit.

He was different. Just like Melias. And Melias had done to the human what others had done to him. Stupid bird. Idiot bird.

Before he could dwell on it, his phone buzzed again. He looked down to see that he had a new message from ‘Dad.’

[10:46:02] Dad: Mel! Pop tells me that you saw a human at your college?
[10:46:20] Melias: Hi, Dad. Yes, I believe so. At least, that’s what someone said.
[10:46:33] Dad: What did they look like?
[10:47:10] Melias: Thin, unremarkable height. Perhaps a little shorter than me. He had no fur, except for on his head. His skin was very pale.
[10:47:26] Dad: Wow! That certainly sounds like a human. Poor guy :(
[10:47:37] Melias: Poor guy?
[10:48:02] Dad: Humans have it tough.
[10:48:13] Melias: Yes… that seems to be the case.

Guilt hit him again as he remembered the human’s cringing face. He had always told himself that he wasn’t going to hurt anyone else the way they hurt him, but his self-defense instincts had—

No. No excuses. He had to be better. He had to be perfect, so no one else would get hurt. Not him, not anyone. 

He wanted to ask his dad some questions, but then noticed the time. If he didn’t get going now, he’d be late for class. After sending goodbye messages to his parents, he stood up and walked to the stairs. Part of him hoped he’d see the human again. The guy probably didn’t want anything to do with him, but he at least wanted to apologize. The thought of someone being in pain because of him sat in his stomach like a cinder block. Bird-brained moron. This is why no one liked him. This is why no one wanted to be his friend. This is why…

No, no, stop that. He remembered back to what his therapist told him. Entertaining your negative thoughts only internalizes them and damages your self-esteem even more. Be gentle with yourself. Give yourself permission to make mistakes.

But he didn’t deserve gentleness. He deserved to feel bad. Deserved it for being such a loser freak. He sighed and shook his head. He was going to be late, so he buried his emotions, jogged down the stairs, and made his way out of the library. The human was nowhere to be found. Maybe they’d meet again. He hoped so.

Wait, Melias, hoping he’d see someone again? What was getting into him?

His literature and mathematics classes were back-to-back, and nothing out of the ordinary happened in either. People stared at him and his unusual colour, and life went on. When it was over, he set off to his dorm, nerves on high alert. He had grown up in this city, but his parents lived all the way across town. It was either cramped, hour-long bus rides, twice a day, or living in a tiny dorm with a random stranger. His parents told him that the experience of living away from home would be good for him, so here he was. But he was having second thoughts. He didn’t want to be here. He didn’t want to be in his dorm. He wanted to be home. 

But, less than fifteen minutes later, his dorm is where he found himself. He pushed open the door, nearly hitting Xaza, his roommate.

“Whoa, Melias! Watch what yer doin’!” the short tabby said as he hopped backward.

“Sorry.”

“Hey, no problem! How’d your day go?” Xaza asked as he began putting on his shoes.

“Fine.”

The cat chuckled. “Man, you really aren’t one for talking, are ya?”

“Sorry.” Melias felt like the walls were closing in on him. Xaza was friendly. Too friendly. Melias did not do well with friendly. Friendly people always wanted to talk and ask you how your day went and invite you out to do things. God, he hated ‘doing things.’ He just wanted to get on his laptop and retreat back into the spaces where he felt the smallest semblance of comfort. 

“I’m off to cheer on my bud! He’s trying out for the rastock team!”

Ugh. Sports. Just an excuse for a bunch of grown men to get noisy, loud, and belligerent. Melias had to fight to keep a straight face. “I see.”

Xaza frowned, his ears going flat on his head. “Alright, I’ll get out of your feathers. Take it easy, Melias.”

“Thank you.” The response felt rude, so he searched for something more to say. “I hope your friend wins.”

“Thanks, pal,” Xaza said as he walked out of the room. 

A mixture of relief and shame hit Melias. Why couldn’t he just be normal? Why couldn’t he talk to people when they talked to him? 

Well, at least the cat was gone now… Melias felt the tension slowly draining from his body as sweet solitude, his best friend, surrounded him. He pulled his laptop out of his backpack and fell back on his bed, letting the afternoon turn to evening, and then to night.

As the sun went down and coated the room in darkness, Melias still wasn’t fully relaxed. That damn human. Their brief interaction was really sticking to him. He was used to rebuffing people who tried to talk to him, and it never bugged him before. So why was it bugging him now? Was it what Dad said? Humans have it tough… he could certainly see that. The discrimination was everywhere. But why?
Why did everyone hate humans so much?

He sent Dad a message asking if he was around for a phone call. No response. While he waited, he decided to do more searching online, but it really wasn’t turning up much that was useful to him. He found an old message board thread, over twenty years old, and gave it a quick read.

‘idk ive met a few humans and theyre pretty much just like, normal. ppl always talking like theyre gonna eat me or something lol but i dont even see how? like have you seen their “claws” lmao just bite their throat out if they fuck with you’

‘My great grandma was a refugee from the North Coast Conflict. When she was a kid, she had to hide her basement with a cabinet over the trap door for a week so that the humans wouldn’t rape or kill them. Her town went from over a thousand people to under a hundred because of those bastards.’

‘HUMANS ARE GAY’

Melias rolled his eyes. He was glad that casual homophobia as an insult had since fallen out of vogue. Still, that second post was strange. What did that old war have to do with anything? As he made another search, his phone rang next to him. He picked it up and looked at the display. “Dad.” He answered.

“Hello?”

“Hey, Mel.”

Melias couldn’t help but smile a little. A familiar, friendly voice was just what he needed right now. But something sounded off. “Are you okay, Dad?”

“I’m fine. Just tired. I only got home from work fifteen minutes ago.”

Melias looked at the clock. “But it’s past ten.”

“Yes, I know,” his dad said, wearily. “There was a mishap at work today and a couple of us had to stay late printing off client records. Two thousand, seven-hundred and fifty-three client records.”

“That sounds terrible. I’m sorry.”

“Hey, at least they pay overtime,” his dad said, laughing mirthlessly. “But enough about me… how did your day go?”

“Nothing interesting, aside from the incident in the library.”

“With the human?”

“Yes. Dad, have you met any of them before?”

“Yep, a few.”

“What were they like?”

“Like most of the people we see. Scared. Lonely. Hurting. Desperately looking for help.”

“The human I saw had no beak, no claws, no horns… are they really as dangerous as people say?”

His dad took a deep breath. “Right. Where do I even begin… okay, so, it’s really complicated, but—”

The door flew open, and Mel flinched in his bed, nearly dropping his phone. Xaza burst into the middle of the room with a single leap and turned toward the crow.

“Hey, Melias! How—oops, sorry!” he said.

“Who’s that?” Melias’ dad asked.

“Sorry, I should go,” said Melias, his voice getting quiet.

“Wait, everything okay?”

“Yes, Dad. It’s just my roommate.”

“What’s he like? We can finish this through text if you want.”

“Okay. Talk to you then.”

“Just send me a message when you’re ready. Bye, Mel!”

The call ended, and he was no closer to any answers. He had so many questions he wanted to ask. So many things he wanted to know. And this cat had to go screw it up. He went to pull up his texting app, but as he did, he was accosted by Xaza.

“Talking to the ol’ Pop?”

“No, Dad.”

Xaza furrowed his brow. “That’s what I said.”

“Oh. Right. Yes.”

Xaza fell back on his bed and yawned. “Whew, I’m tired! Tryouts went so long!” The cat looked at the clock on Melias’ night stand. “Man, seriously? I knew it was late, but not past ten.” He sighed. “I got class at eight in the morning tomorrow, so I think I’m just gonna turn in now. I’m fine with a little light and noise, but don’t get wild, alright?”

Melias, get wild? For a moment, he envisioned himself at a party with a large funnel stuffed in his beak, beer pouring into the spout. “That’s okay. I’m not loud.”

Xaza grinned. “Nah, didn’t think so.” Without warning, the cat yanked his shirt off and tossed it into his laundry hamper. 

Melias recoiled as his eyes went wide for a moment. Was this guy really just ripping his clothes off?

Xaza reached down to his pants, then stopped and turned to the bird. “Oh, shit! Sorry, man. I shoulda asked first. I sleep naked. Does that bug you?”

Just totally naked? Not even in his underwear? Melias glanced at the cat’s lithe, flexible body. Well, at least he was nice to look at… but still! He swallowed. “It’s fine.”

“You sure? You seem uncomfortable. I don’t wanna—”

“No, it’s fine. You just surprised me.”

Xaza nodded. “Well, sorry.” He pulled his pants off, curled them up in a ball, and tossed them overhand into the laundry hamper. “Suh-wish!”

Melias was uncomfortable, but not for the reason Xaza probably thought. He couldn’t remember the last time he was around someone naked. Maybe never. But he had to admit that he was kind of enjoying it. For all of his introversion and difficulties with talking to others, he still had his… predilections. And this cat was checking a lot of boxes. He glanced down at his phone, trying not to gawp, but he couldn’t help but look out of the corner of his eyes as Xaza yanked off his underwear. 

The first thing he noticed was the fuzzy, firm scrotum, extending slightly forward. It wobbled softly as the cat tossed his underwear toward the laundry hamper and missed.

“Bah!” Xaza said as he marched over to pick them up. His long tail swished back and forth as Melias stared at his soft-looking, but well-shaped ass. The cat leaned forward, one leg planted on the floor, the other extended back in the air, and picked up his fallen clothes. His scrotum dangled down as he did so, and Melias’ chest went tight. After putting his underwear in the hamper, Xaza twirled around and skipped back to his bed, his balls bouncing up and down as he did so. 

Melias looked down and cursed his… everything. He cursed his inability to talk to other people. He cursed his fear of physical intimacy. He cursed his homosexuality for making him so turned on by other men. And he cursed his debilitating obsession with testicles.

God, Melias fucking loved balls. He just wanted to hold them, to roll them around in his hands, to lick them, to rub his beak against them. He loved big balls and he loved small balls. He loved dangly balls and he loved tight balls. He loved the way they swung back and forth when tops fucked. He loved it all, and getting a show in person lit a scorching hot fire in his hormone-addled, barely-adult body. 

But that heat was met with a blast of cold from the other direction. Before he could ruminate, however, a voice interrupted him.

“Can ya get your lamp?” Xaza asked. Melias’ head swung over toward the cat, who was in bed and facing the wall. He leaned over and turned off the light, leaving his phone screen as the only source of illumination in the room. “Thanks. Good night, Melias.”

“Good night.”

Melias sighed. Now he could ruminate. The tension grew as he thought of his own body. After taking another look at Xaza to make sure he was still facing away, he lifted his pants and stared at his own groin. No penis. No external testicles. Just one single cloaca that he couldn’t see from this angle. Yet another way that Melias was different. Even most avians had penises. He knew both of his fathers did. But he didn’t. 

He let go of his pants, which snapped back onto his hips, then fell back on the bed, his head hitting the pillow. He didn’t hate his cloaca or anything. In fact, he kind of liked it. It felt nice to play with. But it was different. It was so different. Even if he could get past his difficulties with talking to others, how could he show it to them? They would laugh. They would think he’s a freak. They would have no interest. Even if, by some divine miracle—or, more likely, divine error—someone actually wanted to be intimate with him… they probably wouldn’t fit inside. Sure, he was able to get some smaller toys in, but he had seen how big the lupines or equines got. He had no chance of fitting anyone like that inside of him and anyone foolish enough to try would just be let down. Best just to keep his fantasies to himself, where they couldn’t hurt anyone. 

He closed his eyes. As he lay there, unaware of how much time was or was not passing, his phone buzzed. He pulled it up and checked his notifications. One message from Dad.

“Shit…” he said, under his breath. He had totally forgotten.

[22:18:55] Dad: Everything going okay, Mel?
[22:19:13] Melias: Yes, Dad. Sorry. I was distracted.
[22:19:27] Dad: Making a friend? :)
[22:19:50] Melias: No. He’s already asleep. I just got distracted and forgot to get back to you. I’m sorry.
[22:20:17] Dad: That’s no problem at all! Just wanted to make sure everything was alright.
[22:20:40] Dad: I hope he’s not making you uncomfortable.
[22:20:56] Melias: He keeps trying to have conversations with me.
[22:21:02] Dad: Ah, Mel…
[22:21:10] Melias: I know, I know. 
[22:21:27] Dad: Sorry. I’m not trying to be pushy. But give it a try, okay?
[22:21:35] Melias: I’ll just embarrass myself.
[22:21:48] Melias: I don’t have anything interesting to say, anyway.
[22:21:53] Dad: :(
[22:22:17] Dad: Come on, Mel. You know that’s not true. I’ve seen the way you light up when you talk about the things you care about. You just need to find someone you gel with.

Melias sighed. He knew that Dad was right. It was just too scary. He would find someone interesting, screw up, and people would get hurt. It had happened before and it would happen again. It was far safer to just keep away.

[22:22:36] Melias: Sorry.

He sighed and let his arms fall to his sides. He looked over at Xaza, who was completely under his blanket, except for his ears sticking out. Perhaps the tabby had the right idea. An early night was sounding pretty good right now. His phone buzzed.

[22:24:11] Dad: Anyway… did you want to keep going with our conversation?

Oh, right, the human. His head buzzed with questions, but a big yawn forced its way out of his beak. Maybe he’d ask just one…

[22:25:27] Melias: Yes. Earlier, I asked if humans are as dangerous as they say. It seems clear that they aren’t, but is there any truth in the stories?
[22:25:41] Dad: Well, like I said, it’s very complicated. Can I call back?
[22:25:53] Melias: My roommate went to sleep, remember?
[22:25:59] Dad: Oh
[22:26:02] Dad: Damn
[22:26:16] Melias: I am quite tired, myself. Maybe we should talk about this later. 
[22:26:28] Dad: Okay! Honestly, I should probably go to bed too. 2753 records… 
[22:26:56] Dad: Even with a bunch of us staying to do it, it still took ten hours straight of just printing.
[22:27:05] Melias. Did you finish?
[22:27:17] Dad: Yep, thankfully. But I’m so tired now.
[22:27:30] Melias: Get some rest, Dad. You’ve earned it.
[22:27:38] Dad: Thanks, Mel.
[22:27:55] Dad: You know… you really are a sweetheart.

Melias cringed. By now, he had learned to endure insults and threats. But compliments? He’d rather be put in the beak yanker.

[22:28:10] Melias: Dad…
[22:28:59] Dad: It’s true! One of these days, you’re gonna meet someone who’s just right for you, and you’re gonna make each other really happy. Just like me and Pop did.

What did he do to deserve this abuse?

[22:29:12] Melias: Dad, please stop… 
[22:29:39] Dad: Okay… I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to upset you. I just want you to be happy. You know that.

Guilt struck again. If it were anyone other than Dad or Pop saying it, he’d call them a liar. But Dad really did care. Dad really did believe it. If only Melias could believe it too…

[22:29:54] Melias: I know. Thank you. I appreciate it.
[22:30:04] Melias: Even if sometimes I seem like I don’t.
[22:30:10] Dad: :)
[22:30:16] Dad: Thanks, Mel.
[22:30:24] Dad: I’m exhausted. I think it’s time for bed. 
[22:30:44] Melias: Alright. Good night, Dad. I love you. Say good night to Pop for me.
[22:31:12] Dad: I love you! Pop says good night and that he loves you, too. Sleep well! :)

Melias put his phone on the table and slid deeper under his blankets. The sight of the human shrinking away from him replayed in his head once more. He didn’t even know him, but imagining what he must go through filled him with a strange sense of… kinship? Sympathy? He really wanted to apologize. As his eyes grew too heavy to keep open, he tried to think about what he would say. He rehearsed it in his head, trying to get the words just right. But gradually, words stopped coming at all as he drifted to sleep.
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