One… two… three…

Cielan’s little legs carried him down the street as he counted the houses. The morning had been long and frustrating. He couldn’t get Lairo out of his mind. His pace quickened.

Four… five… six…

The sweet sound of the songbird’s voice played in his head. He needed to hear it again. He broke into a jog.

Seven… eight… nine…

Just a few more to go. He could see Lairo’s house in the distance. His stomach tensed. He started running.

Ten… eleven… twelve… thirteen… there!

He slowed to a walk as he came to the small brick house. Okay, Cielan. Look cool. Don’t go crazy. He walked down the lane and up to the front step. After taking a moment to compose himself, he thumped on the door. Silence. Silence. Clunk, clunk, clunk, click. The door swung open. Cielan only caught a flash of Lairo’s resting face before it erupted into a wide smile. 

“Cielan! I just got back! Come on in!” 

Music to his ears. After a long morning of excitement, anticipation, and fighting with a laptop he didn’t understand how to use, he was finally back with Lairo. 

“Hey, Lairo,” he said as he walked into the home. His calf muscles were sore. He really should have stretched before he started running. No matter—he was here now, and he was already starting to feel more at ease.

The two walked into cardinal’s room and spent another day playing, talking, and laughing together. With each day he spent with Lairo, Cielan’s affection for the songbird only grew. Every parting was painful, and every evening spent alone in his bed felt so isolating. Lairo did help him get everything set up on his laptop, so the separation was only partial, but it wasn’t enough. He needed to see him, to hear him, to feel him.

It was that last one that was giving him trouble. 

Cielan was slowly finding it more and more difficult to spend so much time in close contact with his crush without being able to actually touch and hold him. The visits continued daily, and Lairo never seemed to tire of him. Cielan was anything but tired of Lairo—indeed, he needed him more and more each day—but he couldn’t ignore the tension for much longer.

Two weeks had passed since his first visit, and he found himself once again standing in front of the Kova residence. He rapped at the door, which swung open faster than he expected. It was not Lairo, but Nev who was standing there, wearing a jacket and holding a bag that was overflowing with paper.

“Ah, Cielan! Back again this afternoon, are we?”

“Hi, Mr. Ko–er, Nev.”

There was a commotion behind Nev, who twisted to face it. Cielan leaned around him just in time to see Lairo stumble around the corner, wave his arms to keep his balance, before barely catching himself on the edge of the wall. 

“Slow down, Lairo! He’s not going to disappear!”

Cielan raised a fist to his beak and ducked back behind Nev, trying to suppress a smile and giggle. God, everything he did was so cute.

“Sorry, dad.”

“Going somewhere, sir?” Cielan asked.

“Yes, you caught me just as I was heading out. There’s a charity event in Wheraime and I’m going to be out for most of the evening.”

Cielan cocked his head. “Wheraime? That’s on the other side of the city.”

“Indeed… it’s quite a trek,” Nev said, leaning off to the side and picking up another bag full of paper. “One I make gladly, though. They’re struggling out there. Well, that’s everything.” Nev looked over his shoulder at Lairo. “I’ll send you a text when I’m on my way back, alright?”

“See ya, dad.”

“Have fun, you two.”

Cielan stepped out of the way as Nev walked out and closed the door. He turned toward Lairo, who was standing with his hands folded at his waist. 

“So… how are you?” the cardinal said, seemingly having trouble keeping eye contact. It was something Cielan had been slowly picking up on; Lairo seemed to be more… affectionate? Tender? The internal struggle this caused was one of the reasons Cielan felt so on edge. On one hand, he really did think the cardinal was coming on to him. It was the little things—the way Lairo would gaze at him, unblinking, during their conversations. The way he always seemed to shuffle a little closer when they were both on the bed. The way he seemed to be going out of his way to please him.

On the other hand, of course he would want to believe all that. Maybe that’s just how Lairo was normally. Maybe he was projecting his own desires onto the cardinal. Maybe he was seeing things that weren’t there. Maybe—

“Cielan? Hey?”

Cielan blinked. “Oh, I-I’m good. How about you?”

Lairo took a single step forward and turned his head a little. “You sure you’re okay?” 

Cielan smiled, but the whirlwind in his mind continued to spin. He was overanalyzing everything Lairo did now.

“Yep, all good! What’s going on in Wheraime?”

“Oh, you didn’t see? There was a big fire, and a bunch of buildings—”

Cielan winced. 

Lairo clapped his hands in front of his beak as his eyes went wide. “Oh, fuck! I’m so sorry! I wasn’t even thinking—”

“It’s fine, man,” Cielan said. But once again, his mind wandered. He thought back to the few times he said or did something that seemed to bother Lairo, and how nervous he felt about possibly hurting him. Yet Lairo was doing the same thing back to him. Did that mean…

“Oh, no, I’ve gone and upset you…”

Cielan’s eyes refocused and he put a hand on Lairo’s shoulder. “No, it’s fine. It’s super cool that your dad is going to help out with something like that. It means a lot to me, you know.” Lairo looked up at Cielan as he spoke, and with each word, the blue jay could feel the tension drain from his friend. “So, you had a movie you wanted to show me?”

“Oh, yeah!” The life had returned to Lairo’s eyes, and Cielan was relieved to see it. The two walked across the house and into the cardinal’s bedroom, where Cielan took his usual place on the bed as Lairo sat on his computer chair. Lairo pulled up his streaming app and selected a movie, and the two settled into their usual film routine of commenting over the action as it happened.

But something was just off. That tension again. He was having fun, but try as he may, he could not focus on the movie. He was much more interested in hearing Lairo talk. He wanted him. Lairo wanted him back, he hoped. He couldn’t take it anymore. He needed answers.

“Hey, Lairo, just outta curiosity…”

Cielan thought he was ready, but as soon as the words left him, he froze. Would it be too obvious? Was he prying? Maybe he could back out…

“Yeah?” Lairo asked, looking up at him. His eyes twinkled from the light of the television, and he smiled that gentle smile that always made Cielan’s chest tight. He just had to know. He just couldn’t take it any longer.

“You ever have a girlfriend?”

It was subtle, but unmistakable. The way his shoulders stiffened. The quick, sharp breath. The head turn that seemed a little too quick. Cielan could tell he struck a nerve, and his stomach churned. Had he made Lairo uncomfortable? But there was also the excitement; the potential. Did his reaction mean what he thought it meant?

“I mean, I guess I never have,” Cielan said, keeping his eyes on the songbird. Lairo seemed to go even more rigid, and guilt overtook desire. “Hey… you okay?”

Lairo looked toward the ceiling as he shook his head. “No, it’s fine… it’s just… dad asks that all the time.” Lairo sat bolt upright and dropped his voice. “When are you going to meet a nice girl? I saw some at the college! You should get to know them,” he said, poorly mimicking his father’s intonation. “I wish he’d stop…”

“He should just leave you alone. Let you find someone on your own.”

Lairo snorted. It was the first time Cielan had ever heard him make that noise; he was really feeling like he had made a mistake by bringing up the topic, and tried to find a way to pivot, but before he could say anything, Lairo started talking again.

“That’s not happening,” he said. The usual musical quality of his voice was absent, replaced by a breathy vocal fry that Cielan could barely hear over the movie. “Not as long as I still live here.”

The gears in Cielan’s head whirred as he tried to figure out what that meant. “But doesn’t your dad want you to—”

Lairo went perfectly still. He didn’t even seem to be breathing. “Do we have to talk about this?” Instead of the indignant tone he took previously, his voice was back to normal, but pleading, almost frightened. Cielan scooted himself to the side of the bed, getting close to Lairo, who seemed to clam up a little more.

“Sorry, I didn’t realize it would upset you this much,” the blue jay said. He felt like the berries he had for lunch were trying to come out the way they went in. Seeing Lairo like this filled Cielan with anxiety, and knowing it was his fault made him want to do almost anything to get him feeling better again.

Lairo sighed. “No, it’s okay.” It clearly wasn’t, but Cielan decided to drop it. Why did he do that? He kept peeking at Lairo, who seemed to have shrunk in his chair. Time felt like it was stretching out. He could tell by the scene in the film that it hadn’t been long at all, but Cielan felt like it had been hours since his failed venture. The tension in the room was stultifying. Everything he could think of saying felt like it would make things worse. He was starting to get a headache.

“Nobody understands,” Lairo said, catching Cielan completely off guard.

“I-what?”

“Um… have you ever had a girlfriend?”

Cielan gulped. He chose that question for a reason. Why would Lairo ask it back? “I, well, no. It’s kind of hard to do that when you’re homeless…”

Lairo smacked his crest and shook his head. “Right, right, sorry. Fuck. Never mind. I’m such a dumbass.”

“Hey! Don’t say that!” Cielan said, surprised at his own volume. Lairo straightened up a bit, and Cielan paused before lowering his voice and continuing. “It’s okay, man, really. Uh, besides, I wouldn’t have had one even if I hadn’t been homeless…”

Boy, he sure did just blurt that out, huh.

“Why… not?”

Cielan sighed. Well, it’s now or never. “I’m… just not interested in girls.”

Lairo’s head craned back toward Cielan. His beak was slightly ajar, and his brow was furled. They made eye contact, and Cielan saw the stress Lairo was under. He didn’t just look upset—he looked like he was exhausted from carrying too heavy a weight for too long. 

“I think I do understand. Lairo…” He took a deep breath and smiled at the cardinal. He wanted to be as unambiguously positive as he could. “Lairo, are you gay?”

A barely audible whine escaped Lairo’s throat as he began to breathe faster. His brow trembled as he nodded ever so slightly. 

Cielan’s heart was doing laps around his body, but as he gazed into the cardinal’s shimmering eyes, the energy drained from him. He looked like he was on the verge of tears. Lairo brought a shaking hand to his beak and looked at Cielan with fear in his eyes. 

“Lairo…” Cielan said. He wasn’t sure what else he could say.

The cardinal slid the hand up to his forehead and looked at his knees. “They all hate me…”

“Who do?”

“Everyone. They’re all so… religious. The ‘nice’ ones just say people like me ‘need to be saved.’ Everyone else…”—he threw his voice and adopted a frat boy diction—”hey dude, that shit’s gay. You’re acting like a fag. Stop being a fucking queer.” 

Cielan’s heart broke. He heard other kids using words like that growing up. Not knowing better, he had even said things like that himself. But now that he was seeing how it affected his crush, he felt mad. 

“And then there’s dad…”

Oh no. His father was a rector. The church around here didn’t have the greatest views on homosexuality.

“What about him?”

“I just remember the last time I was at a sermon. He kept talking about ‘the love between man and a woman is the truest form of love’ and all that kind of stuff. I felt so… so…” Lairo buried his head between his knees. “Would he hate me?”

Cielan desperately wanted to reach out and hug him; to tell him that it was okay, and that he was here for him. He gestured Lairo toward the bed. “Hey… come here.”

Lairo stared at Cielan, but didn’t move. His jaw was trembling and his eyes looked glassy. 

Cielan smiled. “It’s okay, Lairo. Come on.” He tried to make his voice as welcoming as he could.

The cardinal sighed, closed his eyes, and slid off his chair onto the bed. 

Cielan patted Lairo on the back. “It’s okay, man. It’s okay.”

Lairo turned his head toward Cielan, but avoided eye contact. “I just… couldn’t tell anyone. Even online, none of my friends know. I’m so scared that someone would find out and tell him.”

“But you told me.”

“I… when you said that you weren’t interested in girls… I thought…” He groaned and exhaled, his breath shaking.  

Cielan sidled closer. “Thought what?”

“I thought that maybe you meant you were… like me.”

Cielan moved even closer, his beak nearing Lairo’s head. “You mean… gay?”

Lairo slammed his eyes shut and nodded again.

“Yeah. Yeah, I am,” Cielan said.

The cardinal opened his eyes slowly and he gazed back into Cielan’s, his face crinkling up. His cheeks quivered and his shoulders drew closer together. Then the dam burst. He threw his arms around the blue jay’s torso and bawled into his shoulder. Each sob carried a different insult, a different burden, a different fear. 

Cielan wrapped an arm around Lairo and stroked his crest with the other. He wanted to say something, but nothing came to mind. Maybe it was just best to let the cardinal cry. And cry he did, occasionally pulling his head back to wipe his tears. It made Cielan’s own eyes water. He was no stranger to suffering, and he knew no one cried like this unless they were truly suffering.

Gradually, the flow subsided and the boys simply embraced one another. Cielan listened as the cardinal sniffled and his breath slowed until it reached its normal rhythm. The blue jay felt oddly at peace. It seemed that he should feel worse about his best friend crying his eyes out, but something about the whole situation felt therapeutic. Like sharing in someone’s burden helped him handle his own.

Lairo pulled his head off Cielan’s shoulder and gazed up at his friend. His lachrymose eyes glistened as he did so, and it took the blue jay’s breath away. Even being a shaking, tear-smeared wreck didn’t stop him from being the most beautiful thing in Cielan’s world.

“S-sorry,” Lairo said, wiping his eyes again. “That was pretty embarrassing.”

“It’s fine, Lai…”

The cardinal giggled. “Lai?”
 
“Err—”

“That’s okay… I like it.” 

Cielan sat back and smiled. “I hope you’re feeling better.”

Lairo nodded. “Uh-huh.” He looked back down at the bed. “Um, so…”

Cielan suddenly felt his skin burning under his feathers. He scooted next to Lairo. “Yeah?” 

The cardinal took a deep breath. “Well, uh… you’re just… really nice, and,” Lairo said, before mumbling something Cielan didn’t catch.

“Sorry, and what?”

Lairo groaned and turned his body away. “Um… really… cute,” he said, each word diminishing in volume.

Cielan leaned up against Lairo. “Well, when I first met you, I thought the same thing about you.”

Lairo groaned louder and crumpled forward. “Really?” 

“We haven’t known each other for long… but I really like you, Lairo.”

Lairo sat back up and turned back around, covering his face with both hands. “I… I like you too, Cielan.”

On the outside, Cielan appeared calm and serene. On the inside, he felt like several jackhammers were shaking his body. He wished his vestigial wings could carry him into the sky. He wanted to beam, to cry out in jubilation, but it just didn’t feel right. Not with Lairo seeming so meek. Instead, he settled on reaching up and guiding one of the cardinal’s wrists off his face and into his hand.

Lairo squeezed back, and dropped his other hand to his chin. “Ah… Cielan…”

Cielan smiled and leaned forward, resting his beak against Lairo’s, before turning his head and kissing him. Lairo reciprocated, and the two locked beaks, their tongues dancing together. Cielan put his hand on the back of the cardinal’s head and pulled him closer as the two softly chirped and gasped while they kissed. His other hand slid under Lairo’s shirt, and the cardinal gasped and pulled back.

“Sorry, too much?”

“No, it’s okay… I’ve just never had anyone do that,” Lairo said, wearing the biggest smile Cielan had ever seen on him. This time, the cardinal initiated the kiss, and he leaned forward and pushed Cielan onto his back as their tongues met once again. They giggled as Lairo fell on top of the corvid, and Cielan was surprised at just how light the little cardinal was. The touch and scent was intoxicating, and his body reacted in kind. His penis had become fully erect, and he tried to twist his body away so that his partner didn’t notice, but in doing so, it crashed directly into Lairo’s hipbone.

“Ow!” Cielan said, wincing.

“Are you okay? What was that?” Lairo said, reaching down for what hit him. He clutched Cielan’s penis through his pants, and the blue jay gasped and tensed up. It took Lairo about half a second to realize what he did.

“Oh my god! I’m so sorry!” he said, leaping backwards, landing on the edge of the bed. His momentum threatened to deposit him onto the floor, and he grasped the corner of the mattress to keep himself from going overboard. Cielan popped up and took Lairo’s free hand, pulling him back to safety. Their eyes met for but an instant before Lairo whined and buried his head in the blankets.

“No, it’s okay,” Cielan said. It was sudden and a little abrasive, but the sensation of Lairo’s hand grasping his most sensitive of places thrilled him. “I, um, actually kind of liked it…”

Lairo whined even louder and fell onto his side, wrapping his hands around his face. 

Cielan giggled, flopped down next to him, and brought his face close to Lairo’s.

“I’ve never touched another boy’s… penis… before,” Lairo said between the gap in his hands.

Cielan’s upper body trembled. “Do you wanna touch it again?”

Lairo whimpered. “Y-yes.” His voice was reaching a pitch most men—or women, for that matter—could not. 

Cielan wasn’t into teasing, but there was something very endearing about his boyfriend’s innocence. He pulled himself close to Lairo’s and gently clasped one of the cardinal’s wrists, pulling it to the band of his underwear. A single golden eye, so full of excitement and nervousness, stared into his own. The corvid nuzzled his beak up against Lairo’s. “I’m ready when you are.”

The cardinal slowly worked his fingers into the underwear. Cielan’s voice shook as the cardinal’s hand teased his length and cupped his balls. “It feels bigger than mine…”

Wow, really? Cielan was, in his estimation, not very big at all. But perhaps he was wrong. Or more likely, Lairo’s diminutiveness extended beyond just his height and frame. Well, now he had to know. He placed a free hand on Lairo’s stomach.

“Can I see?”

Lairo moaned as the blue jay’s fingertips teased the fine feathers on his torso. “O-okay…”

“You sure?”

“Yeah,” Lairo said as his voice dropped to a whisper. He pulled his hand out of the blue jay’s pants and brought it to his beak. Cielan knew that it was just a nervous tic, but, well, that was just wrapped around his penis. 

He found it a hell of a lot hotter than thought he would. 

Cielan’s hand slid down the cardinal’s torso and latched his underwear with a talon, slowly dragging it down. Lairo’s penis popped out, and he took a big gulp of air as it smacked into his pubis.

“Is… is it small?”

Cielan really didn’t care. It was Lairo’s, and that made it perfect. He pulled down his own pants, tucking the band under his scrotum, and put his cock next to the songbird’s. A shaking noise escaped Lairo’s throat as their lengths touched, and Cielan took a good look. Was he bigger? Maybe a little longer and a little thicker, but not by much. He reached down and grasped the underside of each cock in his hand, and began stroking them together. It was a strange feeling, and probably not something he would want to do every day, but in this moment, his first time—his first proper time—it just felt right. He leaned forward and placed his beak against Lairo’s and continued his slow stroking.

“I… oh… I…” Lairo said before his legs straightened and he threw his head back. His cock twitched powerfully in Cielan’s grasp, firing thick globs of semen onto the base of the blue jay’s shaft. Each twitch was accompanied by a high pitch squeak as the first orgasm the cardinal had ever shared with another wracked his small figure. The visual made Cielan shiver, and he stroked faster as the cardinal emptied himself onto his partner. As Lairo’s twitching stopped and his breathing slowed, he returned to a more relaxed pose and looked into Cielan’s eyes with a screwed-up grin on his face. The blue jay looked down at his and Lairo’s crossed swords, his still rock hard and covered in semen, Lairo’s softening as it leaked. Holy hell. If he could have gotten harder, he would have.

Lairo looked away. “Oh, I’m sorry…”

“For what?”

“I finished so fast… it’s embarrassing…”

That hadn’t occurred to Cielan. It was over quick, but he loved every second of it. 

“That’s fine!” Cielan took his hand away and raised it to his face. “Hey, look.”

Lairo twisted his head, saw his cum on the presented hand, and buried his face in the bed. “Oh my god… that’s mine, isn’t it…”

Cielan laughed. “Well, I haven’t finished, so…”

Lairo shot up back and he stared at Cielan, eyes wide and beak slack. “I’m so sorry! I didn’t even realize!”

Fuck, he was so god damn cute.

“That’s okay, Lai, I can just…”

“No, no! Um… Cielan… I wanna try something.” 

“Yeah?”

“Um…” Lairo rolled over onto his other side, and pushed his rear toward Cielan. “I usually use a toy for this, but… um…”

Cielan took a sharp breath. He was not expecting this. But the fantasies of the previous night ran through his head once more. He looked down at the round, red behind of the cardinal and gently spread the cheeks with his hand. Damn, he looked so tight. His heart slammed into his ribs. His dick felt like it was going to explode. His body was telling him to line up and just…

Memories flooded back. He had been keeping his encounter with the buck out of his mind best he could, but now he found himself in a similar situation, but on the other side. Doubt filled him. His experience had left a mark on him. He was now in the position to inflict it upon another, should he screw it up. The thought of Lairo suffering like he did filled his mind with television static. Should he even be doing this? Could he even do—

“Cielan?” 

Cielan blinked, the songbird’s voice taking him out of his mind and focusing him on the present. No, Lairo was asking for this. He wanted this. It was Cielan’s job, his duty, to please his partner. To make him feel incredible. To make him feel loved… like he wanted to feel when he embarked on his misadventure. He would not let him down.

“You’re sure?” 

“I want you to be my first…”

First. Yeah. Lairo could have been his first, too. But in a way, he was. Sure, he’s had sex. But he had never made love. He pushed his chest flush against Lairo’s back and threw an arm over him, pulling him closer.

“I want you to be mine, too.” There was a small pang of guilt, but to him, it was the truth. Either way, it was definitely the first time he was on this side of the equation.

“Here… use this,” Lairo said, his shoulder craned behind him. In his hand was a little bottle of personal lubricant. Cielan took a moment to ponder where Lairo had been hiding it before he took it and popped open the flip top. Just as he was about to apply it, he realized that Lairo’s cum was still globbed at the base of his shaft and slowly drying. For a moment, he considered just mixing the lubricant with it… but something about that just felt wrong, so he scooped it up and deposited it straight onto his tongue. It wasn’t all that bad. He closed his eyes and imagined the cardinal’s shaft twitching and throbbing as it spilt its load into his mouth. The thought was an aphrodisiac to him, and he squirted a healthy dollop of the lubricant on his penis and smeared it around before placing the tip on Lairo’s hole. But something was stopping him. Thoughts of hurting Lairo filled his mind once more, and he locked up.

“Um… I don’t actually know how to do this,” Cielan said, each word coming out slower than the last. “I don’t want to hurt you…”

“Just start slow. I’ll be fine,” Lairo said, twisting his upper body around and smiling over his shoulder at Cielan.

There they were again. Those perfect, intoxicating amber eyes. The eyes that could cut through any doubt or pain in his heart. The eyes that told him, ‘everything’s gonna be okay.’ Cielan smiled back and slowly pushed in.

Lairo gasped as the pressure increased and he slowly welcomed his lover inside of him. “Oh, that feels so nice…”

Music to Cielan’s ears. His penetration continued slowly. He basked in each millimetre of heavenly sensation as he pushed deeper and deeper inside. Cielan felt every deep breath Lairo took as the cardinal pushed back on his chest, bringing them even closer. His heart raced. Could Lairo feel it as it beat against him? Finally, after a minute or so, Cielan bottomed out, his hips coming to rest against Lairo’s plush rear.

“Cielan… wow…”

The blue jay exhaled, taking in the sensation of Lairo’s passage clinging to his sensitive length. His cock twitched involuntarily as the precum flowed out in a steady drip. 

“You doing okay, Lai?”

Lairo looked back over his shoulder with a huge smile. “Yeah… yeah, I’m doing great.” He looked away and pushed his hips back into Cielan’s groin. “Um… ready when you are.” 

Cielan nodded and began moving; not so much thrusting as rocking. The sensation was unlike anything he had felt before. Unlike his rough hand, Lairo was soft, warm, and welcoming. With each thrust, delicate as they were, he heard his boyfriend chirp and moan. In many ways, that was better than his own pleasure. The knowledge that he was making the one he loved feel so good filled him with an intense happiness. It was a life-affirming feeling. A feeling that he wanted to never let go. 

“Cielan… hold me…” Lairo said, lifting himself slightly off the bed. Cielan slipped his arm under the red bird’s armpit and pulled him close with the other. The feeling of the cardinal’s soft feathers against his hands was wonderful, and he slid them up and down Lairo’s body. 

They continued their lovemaking without words, the only sounds in the room being gentle gasps and moans, with the occasional creak of the bed. 

And then he felt it. That familiar pressure in his groin. The hastening of his breath. He leaned forward and groaned into Lairo’s ear. “I’m going to cum, Lai…”

Lairo let out a high-pitched whine and covered his eyes with his arm. 

Cielan continued his gentle, slow thrusts for as long as he could, but he soon found himself at this peak. He pushed all the way in and didn’t pull back, his orgasm making his whole body seize up as his cock emptied itself deep into the cardinal’s tight passage. Breathy grunts escaped him with every pulse as the sensation rushed to his head, making the edges of his vision go white. All the while, Lairo chirped and moaned, his tight ring clenching the base of Cielan’s cock, as if trying to wring out every last bit of cum. As the crescendo passed and the spurts subsided, Cielan rested his head against the back of Lairo’s shoulder, and they shared in the afterglow of their lovemaking, both breathing hard, then normally, then quietly.

“Cielan…” Lairo finally said. His voice was shaky, almost as if he was trying not to cry. “Are you an angel?”

Cielan laughed, perhaps a little harder than he wanted to. What a corny thing to say… and yet, it seemed so perfectly Lairo. Sweet, innocent, and adorable. “I’m glad you enjoyed it,” he said, nuzzling the cardinal’s back.

“I don’t think I’ve ever felt so wonderful in my entire life.”

In the past two weeks or so, Cielan had experienced a kaleidoscope of emotions. Excitement, misery, infatuation, doubt, joy, even bliss. But those words made him feel something entirely new. Something he didn’t recognize. He had been craving love and affection for most of his life, dreaming but never daring to believe it possible. Yet it was. The itch had been scratched; the hole had been filled. It was euphoric relief. 

But reality was calling, and his penis had softened up all the way and slid out of Lairo with a squelch. 

The cardinal jolted and giggled. “Oh, wow, that tickles.” He reached a hand back, and it brushed over Cielan’s soft, still extra sensitive penis, causing him to jerk back. “Ah! Sorry!”

“It’s fine! Wow, we gotta get you cleaned up,” Cielan said, watching a blob of semen slide out and getting stuck in the red feathers. “You really don’t want that drying down there.”

“Shoot, I forgot to grab the tissues. They’re on my desk,” Lairo said as he started to gently finger himself, teasing more semen out. “Ahh! That feels so weird!”

“I’ll pull out next—”

“No, you won’t,” Lairo said, with an assertiveness that caught Cielan off guard. He returned to his usual docility and continued, “I mean, unless you want to.”

Cielan snickered as he hopped off the bed, pants still around his thighs, and hobbled over to desk. He took a few tissues to wipe himself off before tossing the box over to Lairo, who failed to catch it cleanly as it bounced off his fingertips and onto the floor.

“God, I’m so clumsy,” he said, stretching over the side of his bed and picking it up. 

“So cute, I’d say,” Cielan said as he wiped himself off as best he could. He pulled his pants back up and flopped onto the bed behind Lairo. “Hand me some of those and I’ll wipe you off…”

Lairo cooed at the comment and handed some tissues to Cielan. 

“Oh, wow, that’s a lot,” the blue jay said as he did his best to wipe his dripping load out of the cardinal’s anus and feathers.

Lairo giggled as the soft tissue paper tickled him. “Got it all?”

“Almost done.” Cielan bunched up the last tissue into a ball and tossed them one by one into a nearby trash can. To his surprise, they all landed perfectly inside.

“Wow, nice shooting,” Lairo said, sitting up and turning around to face Cielan as he pulled his shorts back up.

“Do you mean the tissue or—”

Lairo laughed and gently pushed on the blue jay’s chest. The boys beamed at each other, and Lairo fell backwards into Cielan’s arms. They continued to stare at each other as the blue jay cradled the cardinal, rocking him back and forth.

“You have beautiful eyes,” Lairo said. 

Cielan expression widened. “You’re kidding, right?” His eyes were the beautiful ones? He looked at them every morning in the mirror. They were nothing special.

“No! I could stare at them all day…”

“My eyes are boring… not like yours.”

Lairo shook his head. “What’s so special about my eyes?”

“They’re like stars in the night sky.”

Lairo smiled and looked away. A few seconds later, he started giggling.

“What’s so funny?”

Lairo started laughing harder. “That was… pretty cheesy.”

Cielan looked at the wall for a moment until he, too, started laughing. And they laughed, and laughed, and laughed. They laughed until Lairo rolled out of Cielan’s arms and leaned over the side of the bed. A moment later, he came up holding a game controller.

“So… the movie’s kind of a bust… wanna just play something?” he said, waving the controller around in front of Cielan. The blue jay took it and Lairo sat next to him, leaning against his boyfriend as the game popped up on the screen. Hours passed, and the two reverted back to a more casual mode of interaction, albeit with more cuddling and kissing. As the sky grew dark outside, Lairo received a text on his phone.

“Dad’ll be back in about an hour.”

Cielan looked over at the darkening sky, then at Lairo’s alarm clock. Almost 8 PM. He sighed and took Lairo’s hand. “I think I’ve gotta go… Mrs. Breling asked me to get the dishes done before bed.”

“Awww…” Lairo said, pressing his head against Cielan’s shoulder. “I’ve got five classes in a row tomorrow. I’m not going to be able to focus at all.”

Cielan laughed and rubbed his head against Lairo’s crown. “I’ll try to keep you company online. I’m getting pretty used to using a computer again.”

Lairo hummed. “I’m so glad you’re enjoying it.”

They rested against each other for a while longer before Cielan pushed himself off the bed.

“Well… guess I’ll see ya tomorrow afternoon,” the blue jay said, sagging slightly.

Lairo popped off the bed. “Wait a sec.” He smiled and walked up to Cielan, wrapping his arms around the blue jay’s shoulders and leaning into a kiss. Cielan held Lairo’s waist and pulled him close, and the two embraced. The room was silent except for the gentle hum of computer fans and the click of beaks as the two shared their final moment of the day together. Eventually, Cielan pulled back and smiled at Lairo.

The cardinal looked at the floor. “Thank you, Cielan. You don’t understand how much this means to me.”

Cielan thought to protest; after all, he, too, desperately wanted to find love. But he thought back to how just a few hours prior, the little cardinal seemed consumed by anguish and pain. Perhaps Lairo needed him as much as he needed Lairo. 

“No, thank you.” Cielan sighed. “Guess I better get going.”

“Aww… okay.” 

The two walked across the house and up to the front door.

“See you tomorrow, Lairo.”

“Mmm… I wish you could stay…” the cardinal said as he leaned forward and hugged Cielan, rubbing his crown against the blue jay’s chest. As they embraced, Cielan held Lairo close and rubbed his shoulders. Yeah, he wished he could stay like this forever and ever, but there were dishes to be washed, lest he incur the disappointment of an old grizzly bear. He released his boyfriend and smiled at him before turning around and stepping onto the front step.

The door clicked behind him and Cielan walked down the path and onto the sidewalk. As he gazed toward the orange horizon, it hit him all at once—he had a boyfriend! A sweet, caring, beautiful boyfriend who genuinely wanted him. He pumped his fist and leapt in the air as he walked, adding little twists and turns as he hopped along. On one jump, he landed facing toward Lairo’s house, and caught a glimpse of red through a crack in the curtain, which quickly vanished as the curtains shut. Oh god. Had he seen him celebrating? He rubbed his forehead and hunched over as he scurried down the sidewalk, suddenly feeling very hot. Realizing that that also looked ridiculous, he straightened up and walked normally—too normally—back home. When he got home, he allowed himself to bounce down the laneway and through the front door. 

Mrs. Breling was sitting on a chair near the door, reading her book. She glanced up at the bird as he practically danced into the kitchen. “Mercy, someone’s in a good mood. Have fun again today, did you?”

Cielan began filling the sink. “Yes, Mrs. Breling.” His voice was much peppier than usual. 

“Just ‘yes?’ My boy, you look like my husband did after our first date.”

Cielan froze and a chill ran down his spine. His mind spun like an over-revved motor, trying to find a good answer. “Uh… huh?” He shook his head. Yeah, real convincing, birdbrains. The old chair creaked loud enough to be heard over the running water, and moments later, Mrs. Breling appeared around the corner. She seemed enormous. Cielan stared at her like a stupefied animal. He was a stupefied animal. 

Mrs. Breling shook her head. “Cielan. I wasn’t born this morning.” Her expression seemed gentle enough, but he was terrified all the same. The words Lairo said about his father rattled around in his mind. Mrs. Breling was a devout attendee of Nev’s church. She would have listened to, and likely agreed with, all those sermons. He lacked his boyfriend’s obsessive fear of being found out, but now that he was staring it in its face, he couldn’t help but notice how sharp its teeth were.

“I—”

“The sink’s going to overflow, dear.”

Cielan shot forward and twisted the handle hard. His arm was completely rigid. And now that he was aware of his body, so was his back. And his legs. And his neck.

“Cielan, let me tell you a little story,” Mrs. Breling said, walking into the middle of the room. “When I was not much older than you, I met a lass at the restaurant that I waited at. Her name was Samantha, but she liked to be called Sammy. She asked me out to the lanes, and I thought, ‘ah, I could use some fun,’ and before I knew it, we were best friends. But one day, out of the blue, she told me that she loved me. Of course, I said that she was my sister and I loved her too, and she said, ‘no, no, not like that.’ Naïve girl that I was, it took me some time to catch on, but when I did…”

Cielan gulped. He had started to relax when it became clear that Mrs. Breling wasn’t upset with him, but the story made his feathers stand up.

“Well, it broke my heart to break her heart. Sammy really was a very lovely girl, but I simply… I simply don’t love women like that. I still remember her crying. I tried my best to console her, but…” The bear looked past Cielan with a glassy look in her eyes. “We really did try to remain friends, but we lost contact not long after. I do hope she found someone who could love her as she loved me…”

The blue jay continued to stare. He tried to quickly piece together all this new information, but it was too overwhelming.

“He really does seem like a sweet boy.”

Cielan closed his eyes. “I… he… yeah. Yeah, he is.” Despite everything, he couldn’t help but smile just enough that Mrs. Breling picked up on it. 

“I hope it goes better for you than it did for Sammy.”

Cielan looked over at Mrs. Breling. “We’re already… you know.”

Mrs. Breling clapped her hands together. “Oh, dear, that’s wonderful! I’m so happy for you.” Her eyes seemed to suddenly unfocus, and she sighed. “Though I wonder…”

Cielan cocked his head. “What is it?”

“It’s Nev… he’s a wonderful man with a heart of gold, don’t get me wrong. But I am… concerned… about how he’ll feel about it.”

Cielan’s heart sank. “You think he’ll be mad? That’s what Lairo was scared of…”

“I don’t think Nev is capable of being mad. But… well, he has his struggles too, and…” She placed her hand on her cheek and seemed to think for a moment. “If he gives you and Lairo a hard time, let me know, and I’ll straighten him out.”

“Thank you, Mrs. Breling. That means the world to me.” Not for his sake, but for Lairo’s.

“Of course, dear.” The bear yawned. “I’m going to bed. I’ll be praying for you, Cielan.” She flashed one last smile before disappearing around the corner.

“Good night, Mrs. Breling,” Cielan said as he continued washing the dishes. He felt giddy. It was a great relief to know he had supporters. His mind wandered to memories of the day. As he relived his first kiss, warmth spread through his body. When he thought of Lairo cumming on him, he felt strangely fulfilled. When he thought of the orgasm rushing through him as he buried himself deep into the cardinal, well… He sighed. There really was nothing like being in love. 

At last, the dishes had been cleaned and dried off, so Cielan flicked off the light, climbed the stairs, and headed into his room. As he rolled into bed, he plucked the laptop off the table and flipped open the lid. The blue light glowed on his white feathers as the screen came to life and he pulled up his chat.

[20:21:45] Lairo: hope you made it home okay <3
[20:39:33] Lairo: ahh i’m worried :( 
[20:45:36] Cielan: Oh! Sorry! I went to do the dishes as soon as I got home.
[20:45:50] Lairo: ohhhhh
[20:45:55] Lairo: right, that’s what you said hehe
[20:46:02] Lairo: glad you’re home safe <3 already miss you
[20:46:13] Cielan: I miss you too.
[20:46:27] Cielan: I think today was the best day of my life.
[20:46:35] Lairo: i know it was mine…
[20:46:43] Lairo: i wish i could just doze off in your arms
[20:46:46] Lairo: aaaaaaaaaa
[20:46:56] Cielan: Soon, I hope!
[20:47:06] Lairo: mmmmmm i dunno… i don’t see how we can hide it from dad
[20:47:13] Cielan: Oh, about that…
[20:47:22] Lairo: ??
[20:47:23] Cielan: I told Mrs. Breling about us.
[20:47:26] Lairo: WHAT omg
[20:47:34] Lairo: why?? what did she say??
[20:47:47] Lairo: aaa sorry i’m all anxious again now :(
[20:47:53] Lairo: what if she tells dad??
[20:48:01] Lairo: fuck and it’s almost sunday too
[20:48:06] Cielan: She just… figured it out, I guess? Said I looked like her husband after their first date. But she’s happy for us and she said she’d talk to your dad if he gets mad.
[20:48:13] Lairo: wait really? she’s okay with it??
[20:48:21] Cielan: Sorry, I’m slow at typing. :(
[20:48:33] Lairo: sorry sorry i know :( 
[20:48:38] Lairo: you’re getting better though!
[20:48:43] Cielan: Thanks :) And yeah, she’s supportive.
[20:48:56] Lairo: well, okay, if she’s okay with it then… i dunno i’m still scared but it helps to know not everyone wants to kill me
[20:49:07] Cielan: Aww. :(
[20:49:21] Cielan: Who knows? Maybe your dad will be fine with it.
[20:49:24] Lairo: omg i would be so happy…
[20:49:36] Lairo: maybe then you could stay the night and you could hold me close as we fall asleep <3 <3
[20:49:49] Cielan: That sounds like heaven.
[20:49:55] Lairo: yesssss
[20:50:03] Lairo: OH btw! that patch did come out if you wanna play some

And the rest of their night became an extension of their day, chatting and playing games together. Just a few weeks ago, Cielan didn’t even dream of his life being like this, and now he couldn’t imagine it being any other way. Eventually, the excitement of the afternoon fully caught up with him, and he struggled to keep his eyes open. After saying his goodbyes to his boyfriend, he set the laptop on the side table and slid under his blankets. Sleep soon took him, and he dreamed of a little red bird smiling at him as they flew together through the sky.