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reflection. So much going on in that teenage brain of his that it's almost breaking. ", "description_bbcode_parsed": "Poor Lin, going through so much grieving and self reflection. So much going on in that teenage brain of his that it's almost breaking. ", "writing": "Saturday, December 9, 2028\n\n\tFang quietly grumbled, annoyed at waking earlier than usual without an alarm. He’d hoped his military sleep schedule had finally loosened its grip, however it still returned on rare occasions. He laid in bed, staring at the ceiling, his eyelids too restless to stay shut, not even forcing them closed helped.\n\n\tWith a sigh, he rolled out of bed, he curled his toes against the short length plush carpet for a few seconds then stood up. He grabbed a pair of pajama bottoms and a shirt, slipping them on in silence. The quiet house felt calm, almost too calm, as he headed downstairs. One of the stairs creaked as he laid his foot on it, he made a mental note to look into that later, to make sure that the screws or nails or whatever holding it down wasn’t coming up or the wood damaged.\n\n\tHe stopped at the alarm panel near the backdoor to disarm it, frowning when he saw it was already disarmed for all of the first floor only. His chest tightened. “Why?” He asked, and glanced around the first floor, his eyes darting to all of the dark shadow corners. He moved quickly but quietly, checking each door and window on the first floor. They were all locked, except the backdoor.\n\n\tHis stomach dropped. He locked it immediately, his fingers lingered on the bolt before turning away. Something didn’t feel right.\n\n\tHe hurried to the den, heading straight for the built-in bookshelf. Pulling it open, using the secret hidden latch, he stepped into the small hidden safe room. His hands moved automatically, grabbing his Springfield Armory 1911 Emissary .45 ACP pistol, a loaded magazine, and holster. He strapped it on, then holstered the weapon in one fluid motion. He grabbed two more filled magazines and slipped them into his pocket.\n\n\tHe wasn’t taking any chances. If this was just a mistake, someone forgetting to set the alarm, it didn’t matter. He wasn’t taking risks with his family.\n\n\tHe closed the small safe room behind him and headed to the backdoor. He glanced through the side of the curtains to see if he could spot anything, any movement. His eyes widened, then contracted. There was someone out there. But who? He narrowed his eyes to see if he could figure it out, but they were a little too far away. He still didn’t want to hit the alarm and jolt his entire family up and cause them to panic. Another mental note, talk to Vapor about having a night-time alarm test to see how the kids would react and get to the safe room in the basement.\n\n\tHe cautiously unlocked the door, took the pistol from its holster, then quietly stepped outside. The icy cold air flowed through his fur, causing him to shiver. He remembered that the outside thermostat said it was 25 degrees (-4c). His entire body shivered, but he shook it away for the danger out in their yard.\n\n\tWhoever it was moved with an odd, almost Kung Fu-like way. It didn’t matter what their movements were, he had the drop on them. He crept closer, and from twenty feet away, he spoke firm and clear.\n\n\t“Do not move. I have a gun, and I will shoot. Raise your hands slowly above your head,” Fang commanded, his voice firm like steel.\n\n\tThe figure stopped moving, left arm outstretched in front, right fist close to his chest. His right foot was firmly planted in the snow, while his left foot angled in front of them. He was just two feet away from a tree, staring at it, deep in whatever strange stance he’d assumed. He was frozen in place, he dared not to move a muscle in his arms or legs. He knew the voice.\n\n\tThe figure slowly turned his head, just his head, eyes locking onto Fang.\n\n\t“It is me, Lin,” he said, his voice shaky. Nervous. He knew Fang was deadly with a rifle from miles away. He didn’t want to find out how good he was at close range.\n\n\t“God dammit, Lin,” Fang muttered, exhaling sharply. His breath turned to steam in the frigid air. He decocked the hammer, engaged the safety, and holstered the pistol. “Get over here.”\n\n\tLin lowered his stance, then made his way over, standing in front of Fang. He looked like a lost, scared animal, unsure of the danger lurking around him. Lin stood there in clothing that Fang had never seen him wearing before. He was in an all white robe like outfit with a black or dark blue belt around his waist. He ignored the clothes and looked back at Lin’s face.\n\n\t“What are you doing out here so early? It’s 4:30 in the morning.”\n\n\t“I…” Lin stammered, then darted his eyes to the left. They stood there in silence for a moment before Lin found his voice again. He sounded broken and defeated.\n\n\t“I broke one of the disciplines of Shaolin. I am punishing myself. Reminding myself of what I was taught,” he explained.\n\n\tFang looked at the teenage Panda, then looked further down at his hands. The young panda was rubbing his knuckles on his left hand, and Fang noticed the white fur on his wrists was stained with red. \n\n\t“What… What do you mean, punishing yourself?” Fang asked, worry lacing his voice as he shifted his gaze between Lin’s face and his hands. \n\n\tLin winced, very slightly, while he flexed his fingers, trying to relieve some of the pain from his knuckles. This wasn’t part of Shaolin training, but punishment was what you earned when you failed something, anything, too many times.\n\n\t“I…” Lin started, but went silent again. He couldn’t look Fang in his eyes, there was too much embarrassment, too much shame that he brought on himself, and his host family.\n\n\tFang could sense the fear and worry in Lin. He placed his hand on Lin’s shoulder, causing him to finally look up at him. Fang was smiling but there was worry in his eyes.\n\n\t“It’s okay, Lin,” Fang said quietly, “you can tell me if you want, or not. I just want to make sure that you’re safe, and that you’re not going to hurt yourself.”\n\n\t“I… Fang, I broke the rule of Shaolin to not lose control, and restraint. I lost control of my emotions with Bruno. I lost my restraint to only defend myself. I should have… I could have stopped when I knocked Bruno to the ground. But I punched him many times before I stopped. Stopped only when he cried in pain. I should not have slammed his head into the big floor stage thing that many times. I did a lot wrong. I would be punished for it at Shaolin Temple for doing that. I should, and will punish, myself for breaking so many rules,” Lin explained, then bowed, “I am sorry for bring shame to you and the Wolfe family.” He held that low bow for what felt like minutes, but was only about five seconds, until Fang placed his hand on Lin’s arm and told him to raise.\n\n\tFang and Lin talked about it for quite some time, even going over to the snow covered picnic table, clearing the snow, and sitting down. Lin explained how he started Shaolin Tongzi Gong at six years old and had fully mastered it at ten-years-old. He was then placed into a school to learn English, so that he could become an exchange student. Fang listened to him offloading so much pressure and stress of his training, his schooling and the preparation of moving to America.\n\n\tBy the time they finished talking the sun was starting to peek over the horizon.\n\n***\n\n\tA couple of hours later, and having finished his self-punishment, Lin walked back into the house and up to his room. Just before he entered, Laika came out of her bedroom and walked over to him.\n\n\tShe yawned a few feet away, then smiled at the Panda boy in front of her.\n\n\t“Good morning Lin,” Laika said, smiling and unknowingly showing her teeth. There was nothing wrong with her teeth, but as wolves, they did their best not to show too much teeth, which could be seen as a form of aggression to some, albeit a rare thing for anyone to think would be happening. “How are you?”\n\n\t“I am okay,” he replied, “and you?”\n\n\t“I’m good,” she replied blushing, then looked down.\n\n\tShe gasped with worry, her heart raced as she took his hands in hers. Blood stained his fingers and wrists, visible even through his near-black fur. The red flashed in the light, vivid against his dark fur.\n\n\t“What happened?” Laika asked, her eyes wide with concern. “We need to get you cleaned up and bandaged. We don’t need you getting an infection.” She quickly pulled him toward his bedroom. He stumbled, surprised by how effortlessly the 60-pound, 11-year-old wolf girl managed to jerk his much larger, 160 pound, frame along with her. She had nearly caused him to fall to the floor, but managed to regain his footing, then kept up with her. After rushing him into his bedroom, she pulled him into the bathroom.\n\n\tHe remained silent as she ran warm water over his hands and knuckles. The hands softly, gently, rubbed his fingers and knuckles, working the dried blood out. The water swirled red with his blood before circling down the drain. She asked again what had happened, and he muttered that he had just been letting out some anger from yesterday, still unsure about if he should tell her the full truth.\n\n\t“I understand letting out anger,” she said, guiding him to the toilet seat so he could sit down. “But don’t hurt yourself doing it. I don’t like seeing furs that I like hurt, it hurts me to see others hurting.” She explained, not meaning to make Lin feel guilty about his semi-self-harm punishment. Her words stung harder than Fang’s words, and even more than his punches against the tree.\n\n\t“I am sorry, Laika,” he said, watching her wrap a gauze bandage around his individual fingers and knuckles while making sure that he could still use his fingers and hands as normal. She finished the gauze wrap by placing three metal clips on each hand at the end to keep the gauze from unraveling.\n\n\t“It’s okay, Lin,” she said, then kissed each of his bandaged hands, “just don’t hurt yourself anymore, if you can keep from it,” she smiled.\n\n\tThe guilt hit him like fourteen metric tons of gold glazed roof tiles.\n\n\t“I will do… try not to,” he replied sheepishly.\n\n\t“Good,” she smiled, then let go of his hands, “so what did you do to hurt yourself? I guess punching something.”\n\n\t“It is nothing that you need worry about,” he replied, trying to keep from having to talk about it again, and afraid that if he told her what he was doing that it might scare her. He didn’t want to ever scare her in anyway.\n\n\t“Okay,” she replied quietly, hoping that he would have opened up to her with his feelings. She smiled at him, then gave him a hug. “Let’s go get breakfast.”\n\n\tLin smiled then nodded. He headed downstairs with Laika next to him. They grabbed what they wanted then sat down and quietly ate together.\n\n***\n\n\tLater that evening Laika knocked on Lin’s bedroom door and waited until he said to come in.\n\n\tLin was sitting on the bed with a few books and binders next to him. He was studying and working on homework, specifically vocabulary. He looked worried and heavy in thought.\n\n\t“What’s up?” Laika asked, now standing beside his bed.\n\n\t“Studying,” he replied, holding up a worksheet, “but I am not sure of a few words.”\n\n\t“You want help?”\n\n\t“Yes, please,”\n\n\tShe got on the bed and sat down next to him. He handed her the worksheet. It had 24 words, and 24 written definitions. He had to match the words with the definitions. He only had one of the twenty-four done. All of the words were advanced vocabulary, longer more difficult words.\n\n\tLaika looked over the words and her eyes widened. She only understood a few of them. She looked back over at him, causing him to sigh and deflate. She was smart but he knew instantly that she wouldn’t be able to help him, and she confirmed that.\n\n\t“I wish I could help you, Lin, but I only know a few of these,” she said. “Like Nostalgia, Eloquent, and Anomaly. You should ask my mom or dad for help, or maybe Luna.”\n\n\t“I was hoping that I would not have to bother them, but I suppose I will have to,” he replied, while rubbing his hand and knuckles on his left hand.\n\n\t“No one will be bothered by you asking for help,” she reminded him. “Are you hands hurting?”\n\n\t“Yes,” he replied.\n\n\tShe slipped off the bed, took the book and worksheet and sat them back on the bed. He took his hands, then guided him into the bathroom. She unwrapped the bandages, then cleaned and bandaged them again. She spread out some ointment to protect the scrapes and cuts from infection, then put new gauze wrap on, wrapping them like she did that morning.\n\n\tThey smiled at each other for a few seconds.\n\n\t“Now then, grab your worksheet and we’ll go get my mom to help out,” she said.\n\n\tVapor helped Lin out, but never gave him direct answers. She did remind him that he can, and should, use the dictionary or his vocabulary book to look these up. He lowered his head and said that he left his vocabulary book in his locker at school, then admitted that he had forgot about dictionaries.\n\n\tAfter some time Lin headed back up to his room. Laika stopped at his door and told him to have a good night and sleep well. He said the same back to her.\n\n\tAfter going back into his room, he picked up his books, binders and other school items and stacked them on his desk.\n\n\tHe sat at his desk and stared at the middle computer monitor. The computer was turned off. He sat there thinking about what he had done, and his self-punishment. He came to the conclusion that he hadn’t punished himself enough for what he had done. Then he sighed upon remembering what Laika had told him, “I don’t like seeing furs that I like hurt, it hurts me to see others hurting.” He sighed and lowered his head running her voice over-and-over again in his mind. He suddenly remembered something else from about four months ago, in the library in the house. His mind wandered to that memory and replayed it, over and over. His pants got tighter and tighter. He groaned out in pain then snapped out of it. He quickly stood up, locked the door, then headed into the bathroom and locked that door. He felt embarrassed by the memory, and even more embarrassed with what he was about to do.\n\n\tHe stripped down, went into the shower and turned it on. He sat on the bench, sighed an exhale, then wrapped his hand around his cock and closed his eyes. He went back to that memory.\n\n\t“She was wearing a thin, nearly transparent, white dress that showed off the figures of her body, her small budding breasts breaking the flatness coming up from her stomach. On her waist she wore a pair of yellow panties with brown teddy bears printed randomly on them, the crotch just barely sticking out from the bottom.”\n\n\tHe moaned.\n\n\t“She was wearing a thin, nearly transparent, white dress that showed off the figures of her body, her small budding breasts breaking the flatness coming up from her stomach. On her waist she wore a pair of yellow panties with brown teddy bears printed randomly on them, the crotch just barely sticking out from the bottom.”\n\n\tHe groaned.\n\n\t“…the crotch of her panties…”\n\t“…the crotch of her panties…”\n\t“…the crotch of her panties…”\n\t“…the crotch of her panties…”\n\t“…the crotch of her panties…”\n\t“…her naked crotch…”\n\n\tHe gasped and moaned at that thought and as multiple jets of cum squirted hard out of his dick. His cum splattered six feet away and onto the glass wall of the shower. He continued masturbating until he no longer had anything left in him. After a minute, he opened his eyes to the mess. His hand, his dick, sheath, balls and legs were covered, and the line from the bench to the wall. Even his stomach and chest has a couple of lines, after he inadvertently pulled back towards his body with the last two cum shots.\n\n\tHe sighed out heavily, content with releasing his urge and needs, but also sighed about needing to clean this all up. He didn’t know if his host family would be mad at him for doing [i]this[/i] in their house. At his house in China, if his father had caught him doing this, he would have been beaten for it, then punished with extra work duty. He didn’t want to make the Wolfe family more mad then they already were at him for fighting. He ignored what was on the floor and the glass for now, focusing on his own body to get his cum off of him. After washing himself six times, each time with more than enough soap to wash a small army, he figured that would be enough. He got to work on cleaning the floor and the glass. After cleaning all that up, he washed himself off from head to toe.\n\n\tAfter getting out of the shower and while drying off, he stood in front of the sink and stared at his reflection. He started reflecting on what he had just done. His face paled for just a few seconds but then blushed bright red. His only thought at the moment? “That was wrong. She is just a little girl, younger than I am. How could I do that?” But something about it felt right too. He did think that she was very cute, extremely pretty. She was quite smart too, probably smarter than Luna, and even Vapor, he thought. He thought about the time that they were all out at the pool, everyone in their swim suits, Luna was in a two-piece bikini. Luna was beautiful, but she didn’t faze him much. Then he thought about Laika in her one-piece swim suit, and his dick almost instantly sprung back up. He growled and softly smacked his dick for doing that, chastising himself for letting that happen. He couldn’t deny it though, he liked this young wolf girl. She made him smile and laugh, and even open his heart up some. He even told her about some things that he shouldn’t have, about his father and the Triptychs. She promised that she wouldn’t say anything or tell anyone about it. It had horrified her to find out he was from that kind of group, but he had reassured her that he didn’t like it, that he was happy to be over here and away from it. He didn’t go into any details about the worse stuff they did, but what little he did tell her it was enough to make Laika squirm.\n\n\tHe laid on his bed and stared at the ceiling for quite some time, and eventually fell asleep.\n\n***\n\nSunday, December 10, 2028\n\n\tAt four in the morning, he turned his alarm off and sat up. After a stretch and yawn, he curled his fingers, cutting off a gasp from the pain of his knuckles. \n\n\tHe sat on the edge of the bed in the dim light of the bedside lamp on his nightstand. He stared at his knuckles, crusted over with scabs from yesterday’s punishment. Laika’s words kept running through his mind, over and over again. He knew that he needed to punish himself, but he really didn’t want to worry Laika. He kept rubbing his knuckles while he thought about it all.\n\n\tDown in the kitchen, he tossed in a reusable K-cup into the cappuccino machine. He sat at the island counter while he waited for the cup to finish brewing.\n\n\tHe sat down outside on the picnic table in the freezing cold, snow falling at a slow but steady rate. He took a sip of his Caramel Vanilla Cream drink, then another.\n\n\tAfter a few cups of the Caramel Vanilla Cream, and one Classic Cinnamon Roll Coffee, he turned around when he heard the door open. He turned back around and stared at the half empty coffee cup.\n\n\tFang sat down next to him.\n\n\t“Morning Lin,” he said, “you’re up early.”\n\n\t“What time it is?”\n\n\t“Six-twenty-two”\n\n\t“Oh,” Lin replied.\n\n\t“What’s up, buddy? What’s got you down?”\n\n\tLin spoke up after a minute of silence and a sip of the Classic Cinnamon Roll coffee. He explained to Fang what he was thinking and feeling about his self-punishment, and what Laika had said to him. Fang sat there and listened.\n\n\tAfter a little bit, Fang gave him some advice. Lin nodded and agreed. He felt better, but was still feeling bad about the entire situation. He didn’t say what he did in the shower the prior night, he was more than sure that Fang would beat him badly for doing that.\n\n\tFang stood up and looked at Lin, “I’m heading back inside, it’s freezing out here. Why don’t you come back in and get a warm cup of coffee?” He said, then left, leaving Lin to make up his mind.\n\n\tLin looked over at the tree, it patiently waiting for him to come over and start pummeling it again. He stared at the tree for quite some time, thinking about everything.\n\n\tWith a sigh, he shook his head, “no, I don’t want to hurt Laika again,” he thought to himself, stood up and headed back inside.\n\n\tOnce in the kitchen, Fang handed him a warm cup of French Vanilla Cappuccino. “It’ll help you warm up,” he said.\n\n\t“Thank you,” Lin replied, then sat down.\n\n\tFang sat next to him at the center island counter, and without looking over, “Lin, just thinking about what you did, how it made you feel bad. How it made you constantly think about what you did. How it made you want to punish yourself,” he said, then took a sip of his coffee. “That’s self-punishment there. You were trained to do physical punishments, but punishments come in many ways. Like I said, you just feeling awful about it, and replaying it over and over again, that’s your conscience punishing you.” He took another sip and remained quiet, letting Lin sink it all in.\n\n\tNeither of them spoke again until breakfast, however Lin was thinking and replaying what Fang had told him. It was truth. All those thoughts, replaying the situation back, it was self-punishment.\n\n\tHe finally agreed with himself to not do anymore physical punishments like he had done. He wanted to leave all that behind in China. He didn’t want any of that to follow him here, or more than it already had. He wanted a fresh start. A new life. It wasn’t going to be easy to do, but he knew that he could do it and break away.", "writing_bbcode_parsed": "Saturday, December 9, 2028

\tFang quietly grumbled, annoyed at waking earlier than usual without an alarm. He’d hoped his military sleep schedule had finally loosened its grip, however it still returned on rare occasions. He laid in bed, staring at the ceiling, his eyelids too restless to stay shut, not even forcing them closed helped.

\tWith a sigh, he rolled out of bed, he curled his toes against the short length plush carpet for a few seconds then stood up. He grabbed a pair of pajama bottoms and a shirt, slipping them on in silence. The quiet house felt calm, almost too calm, as he headed downstairs. One of the stairs creaked as he laid his foot on it, he made a mental note to look into that later, to make sure that the screws or nails or whatever holding it down wasn’t coming up or the wood damaged.

\tHe stopped at the alarm panel near the backdoor to disarm it, frowning when he saw it was already disarmed for all of the first floor only. His chest tightened. “Why?” He asked, and glanced around the first floor, his eyes darting to all of the dark shadow corners. He moved quickly but quietly, checking each door and window on the first floor. They were all locked, except the backdoor.

\tHis stomach dropped. He locked it immediately, his fingers lingered on the bolt before turning away. Something didn’t feel right.

\tHe hurried to the den, heading straight for the built-in bookshelf. Pulling it open, using the secret hidden latch, he stepped into the small hidden safe room. His hands moved automatically, grabbing his Springfield Armory 1911 Emissary .45 ACP pistol, a loaded magazine, and holster. He strapped it on, then holstered the weapon in one fluid motion. He grabbed two more filled magazines and slipped them into his pocket.

\tHe wasn’t taking any chances. If this was just a mistake, someone forgetting to set the alarm, it didn’t matter. He wasn’t taking risks with his family.

\tHe closed the small safe room behind him and headed to the backdoor. He glanced through the side of the curtains to see if he could spot anything, any movement. His eyes widened, then contracted. There was someone out there. But who? He narrowed his eyes to see if he could figure it out, but they were a little too far away. He still didn’t want to hit the alarm and jolt his entire family up and cause them to panic. Another mental note, talk to Vapor about having a night-time alarm test to see how the kids would react and get to the safe room in the basement.

\tHe cautiously unlocked the door, took the pistol from its holster, then quietly stepped outside. The icy cold air flowed through his fur, causing him to shiver. He remembered that the outside thermostat said it was 25 degrees (-4c). His entire body shivered, but he shook it away for the danger out in their yard.

\tWhoever it was moved with an odd, almost Kung Fu-like way. It didn’t matter what their movements were, he had the drop on them. He crept closer, and from twenty feet away, he spoke firm and clear.

\t“Do not move. I have a gun, and I will shoot. Raise your hands slowly above your head,” Fang commanded, his voice firm like steel.

\tThe figure stopped moving, left arm outstretched in front, right fist close to his chest. His right foot was firmly planted in the snow, while his left foot angled in front of them. He was just two feet away from a tree, staring at it, deep in whatever strange stance he’d assumed. He was frozen in place, he dared not to move a muscle in his arms or legs. He knew the voice.

\tThe figure slowly turned his head, just his head, eyes locking onto Fang.

\t“It is me, Lin,” he said, his voice shaky. Nervous. He knew Fang was deadly with a rifle from miles away. He didn’t want to find out how good he was at close range.

\t“God dammit, Lin,” Fang muttered, exhaling sharply. His breath turned to steam in the frigid air. He decocked the hammer, engaged the safety, and holstered the pistol. “Get over here.”

\tLin lowered his stance, then made his way over, standing in front of Fang. He looked like a lost, scared animal, unsure of the danger lurking around him. Lin stood there in clothing that Fang had never seen him wearing before. He was in an all white robe like outfit with a black or dark blue belt around his waist. He ignored the clothes and looked back at Lin’s face.

\t“What are you doing out here so early? It’s 4:30 in the morning.”

\t“I…” Lin stammered, then darted his eyes to the left. They stood there in silence for a moment before Lin found his voice again. He sounded broken and defeated.

\t“I broke one of the disciplines of Shaolin. I am punishing myself. Reminding myself of what I was taught,” he explained.

\tFang looked at the teenage Panda, then looked further down at his hands. The young panda was rubbing his knuckles on his left hand, and Fang noticed the white fur on his wrists was stained with red.

\t“What… What do you mean, punishing yourself?” Fang asked, worry lacing his voice as he shifted his gaze between Lin’s face and his hands.

\tLin winced, very slightly, while he flexed his fingers, trying to relieve some of the pain from his knuckles. This wasn’t part of Shaolin training, but punishment was what you earned when you failed something, anything, too many times.

\t“I…” Lin started, but went silent again. He couldn’t look Fang in his eyes, there was too much embarrassment, too much shame that he brought on himself, and his host family.

\tFang could sense the fear and worry in Lin. He placed his hand on Lin’s shoulder, causing him to finally look up at him. Fang was smiling but there was worry in his eyes.

\t“It’s okay, Lin,” Fang said quietly, “you can tell me if you want, or not. I just want to make sure that you’re safe, and that you’re not going to hurt yourself.”

\t“I… Fang, I broke the rule of Shaolin to not lose control, and restraint. I lost control of my emotions with Bruno. I lost my restraint to only defend myself. I should have… I could have stopped when I knocked Bruno to the ground. But I punched him many times before I stopped. Stopped only when he cried in pain. I should not have slammed his head into the big floor stage thing that many times. I did a lot wrong. I would be punished for it at Shaolin Temple for doing that. I should, and will punish, myself for breaking so many rules,” Lin explained, then bowed, “I am sorry for bring shame to you and the Wolfe family.” He held that low bow for what felt like minutes, but was only about five seconds, until Fang placed his hand on Lin’s arm and told him to raise.

\tFang and Lin talked about it for quite some time, even going over to the snow covered picnic table, clearing the snow, and sitting down. Lin explained how he started Shaolin Tongzi Gong at six years old and had fully mastered it at ten-years-old. He was then placed into a school to learn English, so that he could become an exchange student. Fang listened to him offloading so much pressure and stress of his training, his schooling and the preparation of moving to America.

\tBy the time they finished talking the sun was starting to peek over the horizon.

***

\tA couple of hours later, and having finished his self-punishment, Lin walked back into the house and up to his room. Just before he entered, Laika came out of her bedroom and walked over to him.

\tShe yawned a few feet away, then smiled at the Panda boy in front of her.

\t“Good morning Lin,” Laika said, smiling and unknowingly showing her teeth. There was nothing wrong with her teeth, but as wolves, they did their best not to show too much teeth, which could be seen as a form of aggression to some, albeit a rare thing for anyone to think would be happening. “How are you?”

\t“I am okay,” he replied, “and you?”

\t“I’m good,” she replied blushing, then looked down.

\tShe gasped with worry, her heart raced as she took his hands in hers. Blood stained his fingers and wrists, visible even through his near-black fur. The red flashed in the light, vivid against his dark fur.

\t“What happened?” Laika asked, her eyes wide with concern. “We need to get you cleaned up and bandaged. We don’t need you getting an infection.” She quickly pulled him toward his bedroom. He stumbled, surprised by how effortlessly the 60-pound, 11-year-old wolf girl managed to jerk his much larger, 160 pound, frame along with her. She had nearly caused him to fall to the floor, but managed to regain his footing, then kept up with her. After rushing him into his bedroom, she pulled him into the bathroom.

\tHe remained silent as she ran warm water over his hands and knuckles. The hands softly, gently, rubbed his fingers and knuckles, working the dried blood out. The water swirled red with his blood before circling down the drain. She asked again what had happened, and he muttered that he had just been letting out some anger from yesterday, still unsure about if he should tell her the full truth.

\t“I understand letting out anger,” she said, guiding him to the toilet seat so he could sit down. “But don’t hurt yourself doing it. I don’t like seeing furs that I like hurt, it hurts me to see others hurting.” She explained, not meaning to make Lin feel guilty about his semi-self-harm punishment. Her words stung harder than Fang’s words, and even more than his punches against the tree.

\t“I am sorry, Laika,” he said, watching her wrap a gauze bandage around his individual fingers and knuckles while making sure that he could still use his fingers and hands as normal. She finished the gauze wrap by placing three metal clips on each hand at the end to keep the gauze from unraveling.

\t“It’s okay, Lin,” she said, then kissed each of his bandaged hands, “just don’t hurt yourself anymore, if you can keep from it,” she smiled.

\tThe guilt hit him like fourteen metric tons of gold glazed roof tiles.

\t“I will do… try not to,” he replied sheepishly.

\t“Good,” she smiled, then let go of his hands, “so what did you do to hurt yourself? I guess punching something.”

\t“It is nothing that you need worry about,” he replied, trying to keep from having to talk about it again, and afraid that if he told her what he was doing that it might scare her. He didn’t want to ever scare her in anyway.

\t“Okay,” she replied quietly, hoping that he would have opened up to her with his feelings. She smiled at him, then gave him a hug. “Let’s go get breakfast.”

\tLin smiled then nodded. He headed downstairs with Laika next to him. They grabbed what they wanted then sat down and quietly ate together.

***

\tLater that evening Laika knocked on Lin’s bedroom door and waited until he said to come in.

\tLin was sitting on the bed with a few books and binders next to him. He was studying and working on homework, specifically vocabulary. He looked worried and heavy in thought.

\t“What’s up?” Laika asked, now standing beside his bed.

\t“Studying,” he replied, holding up a worksheet, “but I am not sure of a few words.”

\t“You want help?”

\t“Yes, please,”

\tShe got on the bed and sat down next to him. He handed her the worksheet. It had 24 words, and 24 written definitions. He had to match the words with the definitions. He only had one of the twenty-four done. All of the words were advanced vocabulary, longer more difficult words.

\tLaika looked over the words and her eyes widened. She only understood a few of them. She looked back over at him, causing him to sigh and deflate. She was smart but he knew instantly that she wouldn’t be able to help him, and she confirmed that.

\t“I wish I could help you, Lin, but I only know a few of these,” she said. “Like Nostalgia, Eloquent, and Anomaly. You should ask my mom or dad for help, or maybe Luna.”

\t“I was hoping that I would not have to bother them, but I suppose I will have to,” he replied, while rubbing his hand and knuckles on his left hand.

\t“No one will be bothered by you asking for help,” she reminded him. “Are you hands hurting?”

\t“Yes,” he replied.

\tShe slipped off the bed, took the book and worksheet and sat them back on the bed. He took his hands, then guided him into the bathroom. She unwrapped the bandages, then cleaned and bandaged them again. She spread out some ointment to protect the scrapes and cuts from infection, then put new gauze wrap on, wrapping them like she did that morning.

\tThey smiled at each other for a few seconds.

\t“Now then, grab your worksheet and we’ll go get my mom to help out,” she said.

\tVapor helped Lin out, but never gave him direct answers. She did remind him that he can, and should, use the dictionary or his vocabulary book to look these up. He lowered his head and said that he left his vocabulary book in his locker at school, then admitted that he had forgot about dictionaries.

\tAfter some time Lin headed back up to his room. Laika stopped at his door and told him to have a good night and sleep well. He said the same back to her.

\tAfter going back into his room, he picked up his books, binders and other school items and stacked them on his desk.

\tHe sat at his desk and stared at the middle computer monitor. The computer was turned off. He sat there thinking about what he had done, and his self-punishment. He came to the conclusion that he hadn’t punished himself enough for what he had done. Then he sighed upon remembering what Laika had told him, “I don’t like seeing furs that I like hurt, it hurts me to see others hurting.” He sighed and lowered his head running her voice over-and-over again in his mind. He suddenly remembered something else from about four months ago, in the library in the house. His mind wandered to that memory and replayed it, over and over. His pants got tighter and tighter. He groaned out in pain then snapped out of it. He quickly stood up, locked the door, then headed into the bathroom and locked that door. He felt embarrassed by the memory, and even more embarrassed with what he was about to do.

\tHe stripped down, went into the shower and turned it on. He sat on the bench, sighed an exhale, then wrapped his hand around his cock and closed his eyes. He went back to that memory.

\t“She was wearing a thin, nearly transparent, white dress that showed off the figures of her body, her small budding breasts breaking the flatness coming up from her stomach. On her waist she wore a pair of yellow panties with brown teddy bears printed randomly on them, the crotch just barely sticking out from the bottom.”

\tHe moaned.

\t“She was wearing a thin, nearly transparent, white dress that showed off the figures of her body, her small budding breasts breaking the flatness coming up from her stomach. On her waist she wore a pair of yellow panties with brown teddy bears printed randomly on them, the crotch just barely sticking out from the bottom.”

\tHe groaned.

\t“…the crotch of her panties…”
\t“…the crotch of her panties…”
\t“…the crotch of her panties…”
\t“…the crotch of her panties…”
\t“…the crotch of her panties…”
\t“…her naked crotch…”

\tHe gasped and moaned at that thought and as multiple jets of cum squirted hard out of his dick. His cum splattered six feet away and onto the glass wall of the shower. He continued masturbating until he no longer had anything left in him. After a minute, he opened his eyes to the mess. His hand, his dick, sheath, balls and legs were covered, and the line from the bench to the wall. Even his stomach and chest has a couple of lines, after he inadvertently pulled back towards his body with the last two cum shots.

\tHe sighed out heavily, content with releasing his urge and needs, but also sighed about needing to clean this all up. He didn’t know if his host family would be mad at him for doing this in their house. At his house in China, if his father had caught him doing this, he would have been beaten for it, then punished with extra work duty. He didn’t want to make the Wolfe family more mad then they already were at him for fighting. He ignored what was on the floor and the glass for now, focusing on his own body to get his cum off of him. After washing himself six times, each time with more than enough soap to wash a small army, he figured that would be enough. He got to work on cleaning the floor and the glass. After cleaning all that up, he washed himself off from head to toe.

\tAfter getting out of the shower and while drying off, he stood in front of the sink and stared at his reflection. He started reflecting on what he had just done. His face paled for just a few seconds but then blushed bright red. His only thought at the moment? “That was wrong. She is just a little girl, younger than I am. How could I do that?” But something about it felt right too. He did think that she was very cute, extremely pretty. She was quite smart too, probably smarter than Luna, and even Vapor, he thought. He thought about the time that they were all out at the pool, everyone in their swim suits, Luna was in a two-piece bikini. Luna was beautiful, but she didn’t faze him much. Then he thought about Laika in her one-piece swim suit, and his dick almost instantly sprung back up. He growled and softly smacked his dick for doing that, chastising himself for letting that happen. He couldn’t deny it though, he liked this young wolf girl. She made him smile and laugh, and even open his heart up some. He even told her about some things that he shouldn’t have, about his father and the Triptychs. She promised that she wouldn’t say anything or tell anyone about it. It had horrified her to find out he was from that kind of group, but he had reassured her that he didn’t like it, that he was happy to be over here and away from it. He didn’t go into any details about the worse stuff they did, but what little he did tell her it was enough to make Laika squirm.

\tHe laid on his bed and stared at the ceiling for quite some time, and eventually fell asleep.

***

Sunday, December 10, 2028

\tAt four in the morning, he turned his alarm off and sat up. After a stretch and yawn, he curled his fingers, cutting off a gasp from the pain of his knuckles.

\tHe sat on the edge of the bed in the dim light of the bedside lamp on his nightstand. He stared at his knuckles, crusted over with scabs from yesterday’s punishment. Laika’s words kept running through his mind, over and over again. He knew that he needed to punish himself, but he really didn’t want to worry Laika. He kept rubbing his knuckles while he thought about it all.

\tDown in the kitchen, he tossed in a reusable K-cup into the cappuccino machine. He sat at the island counter while he waited for the cup to finish brewing.

\tHe sat down outside on the picnic table in the freezing cold, snow falling at a slow but steady rate. He took a sip of his Caramel Vanilla Cream drink, then another.

\tAfter a few cups of the Caramel Vanilla Cream, and one Classic Cinnamon Roll Coffee, he turned around when he heard the door open. He turned back around and stared at the half empty coffee cup.

\tFang sat down next to him.

\t“Morning Lin,” he said, “you’re up early.”

\t“What time it is?”

\t“Six-twenty-two”

\t“Oh,” Lin replied.

\t“What’s up, buddy? What’s got you down?”

\tLin spoke up after a minute of silence and a sip of the Classic Cinnamon Roll coffee. He explained to Fang what he was thinking and feeling about his self-punishment, and what Laika had said to him. Fang sat there and listened.

\tAfter a little bit, Fang gave him some advice. Lin nodded and agreed. He felt better, but was still feeling bad about the entire situation. He didn’t say what he did in the shower the prior night, he was more than sure that Fang would beat him badly for doing that.

\tFang stood up and looked at Lin, “I’m heading back inside, it’s freezing out here. Why don’t you come back in and get a warm cup of coffee?” He said, then left, leaving Lin to make up his mind.

\tLin looked over at the tree, it patiently waiting for him to come over and start pummeling it again. He stared at the tree for quite some time, thinking about everything.

\tWith a sigh, he shook his head, “no, I don’t want to hurt Laika again,” he thought to himself, stood up and headed back inside.

\tOnce in the kitchen, Fang handed him a warm cup of French Vanilla Cappuccino. “It’ll help you warm up,” he said.

\t“Thank you,” Lin replied, then sat down.

\tFang sat next to him at the center island counter, and without looking over, “Lin, just thinking about what you did, how it made you feel bad. How it made you constantly think about what you did. How it made you want to punish yourself,” he said, then took a sip of his coffee. “That’s self-punishment there. You were trained to do physical punishments, but punishments come in many ways. Like I said, you just feeling awful about it, and replaying it over and over again, that’s your conscience punishing you.” He took another sip and remained quiet, letting Lin sink it all in.

\tNeither of them spoke again until breakfast, however Lin was thinking and replaying what Fang had told him. It was truth. All those thoughts, replaying the situation back, it was self-punishment.

\tHe finally agreed with himself to not do anymore physical punishments like he had done. He wanted to leave all that behind in China. He didn’t want any of that to follow him here, or more than it already had. He wanted a fresh start. A new life. It wasn’t going to be easy to do, but he knew that he could do it and break away.", "pools_count": 1, "title": "Lin's Self-Punishment", "deleted": "f", "public": "t", "mimetype": "application/msword", "pagecount": "1", "rating_id": "2", "rating_name": "Adult", "ratings": [ { "content_tag_id": "4", "name": "Sexual Themes", "description": "Erotic imagery, sexual activity or arousal", "rating_id": "2" }, { "content_tag_id": "5", "name": "Strong Violence", "description": "Strong violence, blood, serious injury or death", "rating_id": "2" } ], "submission_type_id": "12", "type_name": "Writing - Document", "guest_block": "t", "friends_only": "f", "comments_count": "1", "views": "44" }