If you decide that your child doesn't need to feel ashamed or blame themselves for playing on the phone at 3:00 in the middle of the night and not doing their homework, and instead take a more down-to-earth approach to these things and their problems, this decision is not "going against the grain" or "going against the nature of human". It's not like, if you give up on what current education looks like, future kids will still feel so much shame and self-blame because those things aren't caused by education. That's not how things work. These things are caused by education and you can successfully change them if you want to.