[15:37]Porkifiable: I flash with shame that lamps are the stars of the ancients. I'd rather just look at one, Then move my gaze to the darkness next to it. O man behind the lamp, Do you want to cry in front of me? Or just like me, Dodge the light. Glass and steel plates, Frightening me, They also blocked my crying breathing. The ancients, weren't lucky to indulge them, They only have truly painful nights. But I should have been, Rushing forward and shouting. Look at the person in front, See whether he is crying. [18:33]Porkifiable: In those uncomfortable times, I wish you weren't alone. May someone be with you, sad or angry, or even to feel ashamed, scared or rebellious. [21:54]: Thanks piggy [21:54]: You too, and nice poem [12:24]Porkifiable: why do people feel bad when they get criticised even if there're no actual consequences [12:29]: oh hi pork [12:29]: because humans dont like to feel bad [12:34]Porkifiable: more specific? [12:36]Porkifiable: , some words, such as "mental illness is all due to irresponsibility" or "you feel bad because you are too idle," make me feel hurt. Why do I feel hurt? [12:36]: being told they have things to improve has to be done very carefully, to not make the human feel discouraged from naturally improving [12:37]: oh those [12:37]: those make you feel hurt because they claim you could have prevented it. It's a lie but it still hurts. [12:38]Porkifiable: I feel a sense of loss of control because of these words. I would have the illusion that the other party seemed to be my teacher forcing me. [12:40]: probably because being told something like that, if you've been trying very hard to not be idle but still feel bad, can make you feel really really bad, because if you were trying your hardest and it still wasn't enough, how are you ever supposed to feel good [12:42]: this is, of course, very much not true and being busy is not the solution to feeling bad. [12:45]Porkifiable: or pushing me, idk [12:46]Porkifiable: i keep getting lagged off [12:47]Porkifiable: Especially when they show that they are good for me, I get hurt more. [12:47]: they dont seem that good for you [12:48]Porkifiable: i sent these yesterday: It's incredibly stupid if people feel worse being irresponsible to themselves than to others, due to the fear of being punished to push them to be better rather than the fear of the natural consequences, and that's for a person who is, like, 30 years old and no one will actually punish them. Not to mention that, usaully, people don't use such a way to make themselves more responsible to themselves. Why does saying these and the following make me feel better? Because, since I've made things clear, now I think I can explain to my imaginary punisher why they shouldn't punish me. Also, it feels warm if I find you feel the same way as mine sometimes. [12:48]Porkifiable: yeah [12:53]Porkifiable: do you feel the same way [12:54]: definitely [12:54]: there was a good video i watched about extrinsic vs intrinsic motivation and that sums it up very well [12:55]Porkifiable: i know the 2 concepts [12:57]: very important to know [12:57]Porkifiable: I don't really like psychology very much. Teachers should understand psychological discourse, and more importantly, what students think and feel in their hearts. In reality, neither of them understood. [12:58]Porkifiable: I know both concepts. When the teacher scolds or punishes the classmates in front, I think about these things in my heart. [12:59]: yeah [13:00]Porkifiable: Knowing this makes me feel better, as if I have been understood by someone else (i.e. those psychologists). [13:02]Porkifiable: do you have imaginary punishers in your heart? [13:02]Porkifiable: I'm not talking about imaginary specific people. I am referring to this feeling. [13:04]Porkifiable: You will be afraid of their punishment and will want to talk to them and tell them that "You should not force me or push me like this." [13:05]Porkifiable: But these are all illusions. That person is just in your heart. [13:14]Porkifiable: And it's not just a matter of self-contradiction. It makes sense to mentally simulate what the other person is thinking before expressing your opinion to the other person. [13:22]: i have a punisher in my heart yes,, and i think most people do [13:24]Porkifiable: he won't actually punish you, but you can feel the fear, and be angry then [13:28]Porkifiable: still, it's not just a matter of self-contradiction. it's also to mentally simulate what the other person is thinking before expressing your opinion to the other person. [13:34]Porkifiable: The teacher is too busy to understand the student's heart, but they can occupy such an important place in the student's heart. [13:43]: im sorry your teachers do not understand your heart [13:49]Porkifiable: People say this feeling between children and parents, for me it's me and my teacher lol [13:52]Porkifiable: The counselor said that my case is rare, and most people have a similar complex structure to their parents [13:56]Porkifiable: My conversations with you should be made into children's books.