For the Love of Retsuko
It was just another busy afternoon at the accounting office. The sound of ringing phones, typing, and the ceaseless beeping and buzzing of all manner of electronic devices filled the air. 
Haida the hyena walked into the break room and sat at one of the tables.
The little white fox Fenneko was also in the room. She was looking at a selection of drinks on the vending machine.
“I just had to get out of there for a few,” said Haida, “you know what I mean?”
“Yeah,” said Fenneko as she pressed a button on the machine, “I’m getting tired of this job.”
“We say this like every day,” said Haida with a chuckle, “but we just keep coming back for some reason.”
“Retsuko,” said Fenneko. 
“Huh?” said Haida. 
Fenneko grabbed the can from the bottom of the machine and cracked it open. 
“Have you seen Retsuko?” asked Fenneko.
“Oh- no,” said Haida, “haven’t seen her all day.”
“I saw her briefly in the women’s locker room this morning,” said Fenneko, “and I’m very concerned for her.” 
“Why is that?” asked Haida.
Fenneko took a big swig of her drink. 
“The boss has been running her ragged,” explained Fenneko, “she can only take so much, until one day –she jumps off the roof.”
“What!?” shouted Haida, “Don’t joke around like that!”
“It’s only a matter of time,” said Fenneko, “what with the way Mr. Ton and the others have been treating her lately. I wouldn’t be surprised.”
“Ahhh!” shouted Haida as he dashed off to find Retsuko.
“Retsuko!” shouted Haida as he ran down the hallway, “Where are you!?” 
The fat pig supervisor Mr. Ton was walking down the hall with a golf club in his hand.
“And that’s how I got one under par on the 9th green,” said Mr. Ton. 
The energetic little deer girl Tsunoda swooned over the fat pig.
“Oh, so cool,” she chirped as she followed close behind him, “I like that there is so much of the color green in this game! Such a natural color, I love nature!”
Haida ran up to Tsunoda and grabbed her.
“Tsunoda, have you seen Retsuko!?” he asked. 
“Oh! I haven’t seen Retsuko all day,” said Tsunoda, “but if I had to guess, she’s probably in the file room, that’s where she typically goes to get away from it all. I tried to get in there earlier but it was locked, it’s never locked, isn’t that strange?”
Haida dropped Tsunoda and ran toward the file room.
“And when you find Calendar tell her I need MORE TEA!!” shouted Mr. Ton.
“Retsuko! Retsuko!!” shouted Haida.
Haida pulled on the door to the file room but it was locked.
“Retsuko, open the door! Please Retsuko!” shouted Haida.
Haida slammed all his body weight into the door and it burst open.
“Retsuk-…” Haida stopped. He stared into the dimly lit room in shock. Retsuko’s lifeless body hung silently from a rope. 
“Oh God! Retsuko! Retsuko!!” screamed Haida as he ran toward her.
Haida tripped over a toppled chair as he clamored forward.
“No! Retsuko!! Why!?” he screamed. 
Haida pulled at the rope but it wouldn’t break.
“Damn it!” he shouted.
Haida propped the chair back up and stood on it. He sank his teeth into the rope and tore at it until his mouth was bleeding. The rope snapped, tearing out one of his teeth as it did, and he and Retsuko fell to the floor.
“Retsuko!!” shouted Haida as he took the rope off from around her neck.
Haida tore Retsuko’s blouse. Blood dripped from his mouth onto her as he started pumping her chest with both hands in a desperate attempt to revive her.
Kabae the pink hippo walked by the open door.
“Oh dear!” she shouted. 
“Call an ambulance!” shouted Haida.
Kabae ran away screaming.
“Damn it, Retsuko! Breath!!” shouted Haida.
Haida pressed his bleeding mouth against Retsuko’s lips and blew air into her lungs. 
Fenneko appeared in the doorway. 
“What’s going on?” said Fenneko.
“Fenneko!” shouted Haida, “come help me!” 
“Is that Retsuko!?” said Fenneko in shock.
“She’s not breathing!” shouted Haida.
Fenneko ran toward Haida.
“Do you know any medical stuff!?” asked Haida desperately.
“A little!” said Fenneko.
Fenneko lifted Retsuko’s arm as Haida continued pumping her chest.
“Retsuko!!” shouted Fenneko.
 “We’re not going to lose you!” shouted Haida.
 “Just open your eyes!” shouted Fenneko, “Stay with us!” 
Haida pinched Retsuko’s nose and pressed his mouth over hers. Her chest rose and fell as he breathed air into her lungs.
“This isn’t happening! This can’t be happening!” Fenneko screamed.
Blood and tears streamed down Haida’s face as he continued his attempts to revive her. 
“Retsuko,” groaned Fenneko, “Retsuko!” 
 Black eyeliner smeared across Fenneko’s white fur as she covered her eyes in anguish.
Haida finally stopped. He breathed heavily in exhaustion and stared down at Retsuko’s body. His own blood had soaked into the fur on her face and stained it red.
“Oh God!” screamed Haida as he turned and embraced Fenneko.
Fenneko squeezed Haida close to her as he cried into her chest. The blood from his mouth soaked into her blouse. 
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Haida and Fenneko stood by the door to the file room as an EMT crew carried Retsuko’s body out in an opaque white bag. 
Mr. Ton, Tsunoda, and the other accountants watched in silence from the other side of the hall as the body was placed on a stretcher and wheeled out of the office.
A police officer approached Haida with a note pad.
“I’m going to have to take a quick statement,” said the officer as she led Haida away from the other workers.
“So you are the one who found her?” she asked.
“Yeah,” said Haida trying to hold back his emotions.
“Take your time, just start from the beginning,” she said.
Haida explained what happened.
The cop then interviewed Fenneko before moving on to the other workers.
Haida sat in an office chair and looked over at Fenneko.
She was sitting on the floor with her eyes closed. She slowly opened her eyes and then closed them again. She looked as if she was about to pass out. 
Haida got up from his chair and walked over to her. He knelt down beside her.
“I’m going to be sick,” said Fenneko, “I didn’t mean what I said earlier, I didn’t think Retsuko would actually do this. I don’t mind if you hate me forever for saying such a thing.”
Haida hugged Fenneko and squeezed her close to him. 
“You – you want to get outta here?” asked Haida.
“Take me away from this horrible place,” said Fenneko. 
Haida took off his tie and dropped it on the floor. Fenneko stood up and walked with Haida out of the office.
Mr. Ton watched as the two accountants left the room. He didn’t say anything.
On the ground floor Fenneko and Haida watched from the building’s front steps as the ambulance carrying Retsuko’s body slowly drove away into the city. No sirens sounded, no lights flashed, there was no hurry. 
Haida put his hands in his pockets as the ambulance disappeared into the traffic.   
 “Fuck this world,” he groaned. 
“Y-you want to come back to my place?” asked Fenneko.  
“I don’t know what I want anymore,” said Haida.
Haida and Fenneko stared forward into the traffic of the busy road in front of them. The sun was setting and the buildings of the city were all aglow in a bright orange hue. 
“It’s beautiful,” said Fenneko.
“It reminds me of her,” said Haida.
“It does,” said Fenneko.
Fenneko put out her hand and Haida took it in his as they both stared out into the light of the setting sun.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The door to Fenneko’s apartment opened and she and Haida walked in.
Neither of them said anything.
Fenneko went to the kitchen and began filling a kettle with water.
Haida went into the bathroom and turned on the light.
He looked at himself in the mirror. 
His face was covered in blood and the tooth he had lost from his mouth made him look like a different person. He certainly felt like a different person. He stared blankly into the mirror as he recalled the moment he severed the rope holding Retsuko, it was the same moment that his tooth tore out. 
“Haida,” said Fenneko.
Haida jumped up in surprise as Fenneko entered the room.
“Oh Fenneko, it’s just you,” said Haida.
Haida ran his hands through his hair and groaned in aggravation.
Fenneko sat on the edge of the bathtub. The blood on her blouse from her embrace with Haida earlier was still wet. 
“Losing a friend is a terrible thing,” said Fenneko as she tried to keep herself from crying. 
Haida sat down on the side of the bathtub next to Fenneko.
“It’s just that-” said Haida.
Fenneko took out a cloth and started wiping the blood from Haida’s face with it. 
“It’s just that I don’t think I can live the same without her,” said Haida.
Haida started crying again as Fenneko cleaned under his lip.
“You loved that girl,” said Fenneko.
“If only I told her,” said Haida, “this probably would have never happened.”
Fenneko unbuttoned Haida’s blood soaked shirt and removed it from his back. 
“It’s a terrible thing,” said Fenneko, “but it’s not your fault.”
Fenneko left the room with the blood stained shirt. 
“But, maybe it is my fault,” whispered Haida, “I did nothing to stop her, nothing to help her.”
Haida slouched down onto the ground and leaned with his back against the tub. The fluffy pink rug on the floor felt nice against his palms, but his mind was not in the room, it was still lost in the moment of when he found Retsuko hanging from that rope. The image of her lifeless body swaying over the toppled chair repeatedly flashed over and over in his mind. 
Fenneko came back into the room carrying a cup of tea. She could see Haida was not all there. 
“Haida?” said Fenneko, her hand visibly shaking as she held out the cup for him. 
He did not respond. Fenneko placed the cup on the floor and knelt down next to him. 
Haida leaned against her and then moved to lie down on the ground. Fenneko guided his head to rest upon her lap. She then began stroking the fur atop his head like a mother comforting a child. 
Haida became more relaxed and calm looking as this proceeded.
“I wonder how long she was like that?” said Haida, “while we were all doing our work or joking around in the office she was in there, maybe for hours… hanging there.”
“It’s sad to think about,” said Fenneko as she stroked Haida’s fur.
“Like, that’s all we do in this country,” said Haida, “we go to work until we retire and die, and in the end we all just end up like that one way or another. Personally, one of the only reasons I sometimes look forward to going to work is just because I know you guys will be there, my only real friends. Isn’t that pathetic?”
Fenneko smirked. 	
“You know why I look forward to going to work at that office?” said Fenneko.
Haida shook his head.
“For the money,” said Fenneko, “our friendship is merely an added benefit of the arrangement.”
Haida turned and stared up at Fenneko’s face.
“But that doesn’t mean I don’t sincerely treasure our friendship,” she said with a smile.
Haida sat up and ran his hand over the fur of Fenneko’s head. Her ears were so big and fluffy. They flopped down behind her head only to pop back up again as he pet her. Haida looked into Fenneko’s eyes but she turned away.
 “I-I’m not Retsuko,” said Fenneko.
“I know,” said Haida sadly.
 Fenneko stood up and climbed into the empty tub as Haida leaned back against it. 
“Maybe I should just end it all myself and join her,” he said.
Fenneko began removing her clothes behind the bath curtain. 
“There’s more to life than pointless death,” said Fenneko.
Fenneko tossed her clothes on the side of the tub and turned on the water.
Haida sat with his back against the tub as the room slowly filled with steam.
“Sorry for bleeding on you earlier,” he said.
Fenneko rubbed her face under the water of the gushing faucet. The patches of smeared black makeup around her eyes quickly dissolved away. 
“It’s okay,” said Fenneko.
Haida stood up and glanced at the silhouette of Fenneko in the tub behind the curtain. He turned and walked out of the room, closing the door behind him as he did.
Fenneko turned the faucet down to a trickle and glanced out into the bathroom. 
“Haida?” she questioned almost in a whisper. 
Fenneko slowly recoiled back behind the curtain and put her hand over her chest. Her heart pounded as she curled up in the shallow water and held herself tight. Fenneko watched as the blood on her chest slowly defused into the water like the open wound to a bleeding heart. 
“Forgive me Haida,” whispered Fenneko sadly. 
Haida found his shirt draped over a chair in the kitchen. He brought it to the sink and began scrubbing the blood stains. 
“Damn it,” said Haida in grief, “what am I doing?”
He opened the lid to the trash bin, tore the shirt, and tossed it in. 
“One less horrible memory,” he groaned.
Haida looked around Fenneko’s kitchen. It was a very sterile environment, nearly as bland as the office tea room he thought. Haida was about to open the fridge but before he could he was taken aback by what he saw. The refrigerator door was completely covered in carefully arranged photos of Retsuko, Fenneko, and himself. Most of them were group photos of the trio together but many were carefully made single images of either himself or Retsuko. 
“Fenneko…,” whispered Haida as he looked at the pictures. 
They were all there, every fond memory he could remember… and even some that he could not. 
Haida couldn’t help but chuckle as he looked at some of the more ridiculous photos. Most had clearly been downloaded from off Instagram or taken as screenshots and then printed on glossy paper.
What struck Haida most was that there didn’t seem to be any photos of anyone else, just the three of them.
Haida turned only to see Fenneko standing in the kitchen entrance watching him, her body wrapped in a towel the same shade of white as her fur.
“My only friends,” said Fenneko as she smiled with tears in her eyes.
Haida couldn’t help but laugh.
“And to think all this time I thought I was the pathetic loner of our group,” said Haida with a smile. 
Fenneko walked up to the fridge and removed one of the tiny framed photos. 
“This one’s my favorite,” said Fenneko holding back from becoming overly emotional.
The picture showed three young and confused looking versions of Haida, Fenneko, and Retsuko. They were all standing together in front of a desk with an obnoxiously jolly and smiling Mr. Ton peeking out from behind them.  
“It’s the day we all first met,” said Fenneko, “the company took it for their records. We didn’t even know each other when this was taken. And look at Mr. Ton, still wearing that nightmare-inducing new-hire face.”
“He was so horribly nice for those first few days,” said Haida with a chuckle.
“It was terrifying!” laughed Fenneko.
Fenneko put the picture back in its place making sure it was perfectly straight. She then took down another photo. 
“This is my second favorite,” she said as she handed the photo to Haida.
Haida looked at it and his face immediately became red with embarrassment. It showed him passed out on a chair as Retsuko and Fenneko kissed him on either side of his face while flashing gang signs in what could only have been an alcohol-induced encounter. 
“Heh, I don’t remember this,” said Haida. 
Fenneko took the picture from Haida’s hands and turned away. She walked to the other side of the room and stood in the doorway of an adjoining room. The expression on her face became very serious.
“Follow me and I can show you what else you don’t remember,” said Fenneko. 
Fenneko disappeared into the darkness as Haida hesitantly followed. 
Haida walked into the adjoining room. 
Fenneko reclined onto a large bed.  
“Come up here with me,” said Fenneko. 
“Fenneko,” said Haida, “you don’t have to… it’s just that I’ve always thought of you more as a little sister or even a brother.” 
Fenneko laughed and pointed to a big screen TV in front of the bed.
“I just want to show you the video that goes with this picture,” laughed Fenneko.
“Oh,” said Haida with a sigh of relief. 
Fenneko picked up a remote and turned on the TV as Haida sat with her. She scrolled through the options and opened a folder labeled ‘The Incident’.
“Not even Retsuko was aware of this video,” said Fenneko, “it is something that I should have shared with both of you long ago, but I just didn’t have the courage to do it. After the events of today, well, I realize now that it was never my decision to make. I’m sorry Haida.”
“W-what do you mean?” asked Haida, “What is it?”
Fenneko pressed the play button.
The video started, it was very blurry and chaotic. Nothing really could be made out. 
“It’s the night Retsuko gave herself to you,” said Fenneko.
“Oh Haida,” called out a voice in a lustful tone from the TV.
Haida’s ears perked up. 
“Retsuko?” said Haida as he sat up in the bed.
“Oh Haida! Right there! Don’t stop!” 
Blurry images flickered across the TV screen as the sound of Retsuko’s voice rang out.
Fenneko pressed the pause button.
“This can’t be real,” said Haida. 
“They had to put you in the ER that night because you were so wasted,” said Fenneko, “I can hardly remember anything either. Truth is I found this video on my phone, and I don’t even remember taking it.”
Fenneko gave the remote to Haida and got up from the bed.
“You’ll probably want to see this alone,” said Fenneko, “I need to dry off a bit more anyway.”
Fenneko walked toward the door.
“Stay with me,” said Haida.
Fenneko looked at Haida and walked back to the bed. She laid down next to him. 
Haida pressed the play button and the video resumed. 
The blurry images cleared to reveal Retsuko with her legs spread wide apart. Haida could be seen thrusting into her as they both moaned in delight. 
“Woooo! Look at them go!” shouted Fenneko in the video as the camera angle shook, “I think they’re both losing their virginity tonight!”
“Fenneko, I swear,” said Haida in the recording, “I will fuck your brains out next.”
“Well this reporter is certainly looking forward to it!” shouted Fenneko as the camera zoomed in on Retsuko’s face, “How you hanging in there Retsuko!?” 
“Oh!” Shouted Retsuko as sweat dripped from her face, “It’s just great! Oh! This is great! Fuck yes! Yes! Fuck me harder Haida!” 
The camera zoomed in on Retsuko’s pussy as Haida thrust hard into her. His shaft and balls began to spasm as stream after thick hot stream of his cum pumped deep into the little red panda. 
“Yes! Haida!” screamed Retsuko, “Fill me with your hyena cum! I want babies! Haida babies! So many Haida babies!”
 “Oh! Retsuko!” shouted Haida in the video, “take all my fucking cum! I’m gonna marry you – and Fenneko too, and w-we’ll all be together forever - a three way fucking marriage!” 
The camera zoomed out and then became still as it was placed on a level surface. Fenneko ran into the frame topless wearing only a pair of light blue striped panties.
“That’s right, three way marriage!” shouted Fenneko in the video as she crouched down and pointed at Retsuko’s pussy and Haida’s still twitching dick. 
The camera frame suddenly tilted upward from its position and pointed towards the sky as the sounds of moaning and groaning continued. 
Back in the room Fenneko pressed the pause button.
“This is basically where the video ends because the camera got knocked over,” said Fenneko.
“W-what happens next!?” shouted Haida, “Why doesn’t Retsuko stay with me!? Why did I forget this!? Did she get pregnant!? And Fenneko… we didn’t – did we!?”
“All I know is what is on the video,” said Fenneko, “It was years ago and I don’t know what came over us that night, it certainly isn’t like me to talk or act like that. And no… I’m quite certain we didn’t.”
“Oh man, that was intense,” said Haida, “that never happened again, did it?”
“As far as I can tell this was the only time,” said Fenneko.
Haida sighed.
“I act so differently when I drink,” said Haida, “I try not to overdo it these days, but back then… I guess there was no telling what might happen.”
Fenneko leaned onto her side and looked at Haida. She slipped the towel down revealing her fluffy white chest and stomach. Her body was like that of a little kid.
“Haida,” said Fenneko, her face red with embarrassment, “I sometimes watch this video and imagine that everything you said in it came true in the end, if society wasn’t the way it is… a three way marriage with you and Retsuko would have been...”
Fenneko slipped the towel back over herself and turned away. 
“…it’s just a ridiculous fantasy,” she said, “and now with Retsuko gone… well the nightmares I have about dying alone a heartbroken virgin seem much more plausible than anything positive I can imagine.”  
“Fenneko, that’s ridiculous,” said Haida, “you’re not - you’re a virgin?”
“Just forget it,” said Fenneko, “at least you had Retsuko that one night, consider that knowledge closure for yourself or whatever.”
“We didn’t,” said Haida, “that night…”
“No,” said Fenneko upset, “I told you, we definitely didn’t.” 
Haida gently wrapped his arms around Fenneko.
“D-do you want to… now?” asked Haida.
Fenneko turned and looked at Haida.
“You can pretend I’m Retsuko,” she whispered.
“You’ve always been there for me Fenneko,” said Haida, “I don’t have to pretend you’re anyone but you.”
Tears swelled up in Fenneko’s eyes. 
“For Retsuko,” whispered Fenneko.
Haida removed the towel from off of Fenneko and slid his hands over her fluffy bare chest.
“For the love of Retsuko,” whispered Haida.
Fenneko gazed into the big hyena’s eyes as he moved in close and kissed her on the lips. The little white fox closed her eyes as a feeling of bliss enveloped her. 
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Retsuko stood on a chair in a dark room. It was silent, far away from the noise and commotion of the busy office. 
“This calendar’s days are finally over,” whispered Retsuko to herself. The little red panda tightened the rope around her neck.
“I guess, then, this is it,” she said with a sigh. The chair under her feet wobbled as she gave the rope one last tug. 
Retsuko took a deep breath and closed her eyes.
“Retsuko!” echoed a faint voice in the distance, “Retsuko!” 
The voice got louder.
“Haida?” said Retsuko in surprise.
Retsuko took the rope off from her neck and climbed off the chair.
“Retsuko!” shouted Haida directly outside the room.
Haida pulled on the door to the file room.
“Please Retsuko, open the door!” shouted Haida.
Retsuko unlocked the door and it creaked open.
“Retsuko, oh thank God,” said Haida in relief as he entered the room.
Retsuko closed the door.
Haida stood in the dimly lit room and looked up at the noose hanging from the ceiling. 
“I-I couldn’t do it,” said Retsuko sadly, “I was about to, b-but then I heard you…”
“Retsuko…” said Haida, “how could you… why would you even think of doing such a thing!?”
Haida turned to look at Retsuko. Her eyes were bloodshot and streaming with tears. 
“Oh Retsuko,” said Haida as he knelt down and embraced her.
The red panda cried into his chest as he hugged her tightly. 
“Want me to walk you home and we can forget all about work for today?” asked Haida.
Haida could feel Retsuko nodding in agreement against his chest. 
“I just can’t take it anymore,” sniffed Retsuko, “promise you’ll take me away from this horrible place?”
“I promise,” said Haida, “I’ll take all this stuff down and then we can get out of here.” 
“Thank you Haida,” said Retsuko.
Haida walked with Retsuko out of the office. 
They descended the stairs together until they were in the main lobby.
“After you,” said Haida with a smile as he held the door for her.
“Thank you Haida,” said Retsuko as she walked through.
The two friends stood outside the entrance to the building and looked out into the city. The sun was setting and all the buildings were illuminated in an orange glow.
“It’s beautiful,” said Retsuko.
“It reminds me of you,” said Haida.
“Oh stop,” laughed Retsuko, “I’m not that beautiful.” 
Haida turned and looked Retsuko in the eyes. 
“You are more beautiful than anything else in this world,” he said to her. 
Retsuko stared into Haida’s eyes. 
“Ya mean it?” asked Retsuko in awe. 
“Yeah,” said Haida with a laugh, “and I’ve been meaning to tell you- ever since I first met you.”
“Haida,” said Retsuko, “I feel the same way about you.”
“Yeah?” said Haida with a blushing smile.
“Yes,” said Retsuko, “I’ve always felt this way toward you.”
“Heh, that’s great,” said Haida happily.
“It’s just…” said Retsuko sadly, “it’s just that we can never be together.”
Haida put his hand on Retsuko’s shoulder.
“Why not?” he asked.
Retsuko turned away.
“Because,” said Retsuko, “…I’m dead.”
Blood began to drip onto the ground from Haida’s mouth.
“No,” said Haida, “that isn’t true!”
Haida went to embrace Retsuko but he passed right through her as if she wasn’t there.
“I’m so sorry Haida,” cried Retsuko.
She turned to look at him. Her shirt was torn and her face was covered in blood. 
“No, Retsuko, I can fix this!” cried Haida.
“It’ll be okay Haida,” said Retsuko as tears streamed down her face.
“No!” screamed Haida as he tried to embrace her, “Retsuko! Stay with me!”
“I can’t,” cried Retsuko as her body began to fade away.
“Retsuko!” shouted Haida.
Retsuko faded into the air as the orange glow of the setting sun shone brightly all around her. 
“No! Retsuko! Retsuko!!” cried Haida. 
“Haida!” screamed Fenneko, “wake up!”
Haida opened his eyes and jumped out of the bed.
“Retsuko! Retsuko!!” cried Haida, his fur soaked in sweat, “where’s Retsuko!?” 
Fenneko knelt on the other side of the bed in bewilderment. 
“I just saw her! She was just here!” shouted Haida.
The orange glow of the rising morning sun shone brightly through the window of Fenneko’s bedroom.
“Please, Haida,” cried Fenneko, “please remember!” 
Haida held his head as the memories came flooding back to him. 
“I c-couldn’t save her…,” said Haida as he sat with his head in his hands.
Fenneko leaned in close to him.
“It’s going to be okay Haida,” said Fenneko as she stroked his back.
Haida sighed. 
“I’m sorry for scaring you,” said Haida.
Fenneko kissed Haida on the cheek.
“For the love of Retsuko,” she said.
Haida turned and embraced Fenneko. He stroked her head. Her big floppy fox ears folded down behind her head as his hand drifted over them. Fenneko closed her eyes and breathed peacefully.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Fenneko stared up at the ceiling of her bedroom as Haida got dressed.
“I-I gotta go,” he said.
“Yeah,” said Fenneko with a sigh, “I know.”
“Sorry for… ruining your clothes, and scaring you – and the mess,” said Haida awkwardly as he put on his shoes.
 “It’s okay,” she Fenneko.
 “Guess, I’ll be seeing you,” said Haida as he turned to leave.
“Yeah,” said Fenneko with a small smile.
Haida left the apartment. The front door shut abruptly and all became silent.
Fenneko rolled over and hid her face in her pillow. She clutched her chest and cried. Her heart ached. It was so intense that it brought her physical pain. 
“W-what have I done…,” cried Fenneko.
Fenneko got up from the bed and staggered into the bathroom. 
She turned on the bath shower and huddled down under its warm flow. She held her knees tight to her chest as the hot water streamed over her body. 
“Please,” she cried, “please no more heartache…”
 Fenneko stared up into the stream of hot water flowing onto her from above.
“For the love of Retsuko,” cried Fenneko, “what does that even mean?”
Fenneko groaned as she felt between her legs. 
 “This was a mistake…,” she said sadly, “…and it’s all my fault.”
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Haida closed the door to his apartment. He sat on his bed and took out a bottle of liquor from under it. 
“Retsuko is dead,” said Haida, “…I just want to forget.” 
He put the bottle to his lips and drank until it was empty.
Haida went to the fire escape and looked down at the street below. 
“I guess I still have Fenneko,” he said with a sigh.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Fenneko lifted her leg over the side of the tub. As she got out a sharp pain shot through her body. 
“Hngg…” she groaned. 
Blood ran down her leg.
“What was I thinking?” groaned Fenneko, “…impaling myself on a fence post would have been less damaging than what I let Haida do to me.”
Fenneko stood up and limped along back to her bedroom. She laid down on the bed and looked at her phone. Instagram was full of people talking about Retsuko.  
Fenneko turned off the phone and tossed it in her nightstand drawer. 
She wrapped herself in covers and turned on the TV. It was nothing but political nonsense. 
“Another politician said something stupid and that’s all they care about,” said Fenneko as she watched the news program, “people our age die by suicide and alcohol abuse more and more every year but what do they talk about – the Orange Yak’s Twitter status.” 
Fenneko looked down at the bottom section of the TV screen. ‘The Incident’ video was still opened in the minimized area. Fenneko closed the news program and expanded the minimized video.
“I just couldn’t show him the whole thing,” said Fenneko, “he would’ve gotten the wrong idea… he… wouldn’t have understood.”
Fenneko pressed the play button and the video resumed where it had left off. The camera was pointed upward toward an empty sky as the sound of groaning emanated from the background.
“Ah hold up,” said the voice of Fenneko as the camera was lifted and repositioned correctly. It zoomed in on Haida’s face, he was passed out. 
“Fenneko!” shouted Retsuko.
Fenneko ran into the frame. 
Retsuko and Fenneko ran up to Haida.
“Junior accountants represent!” shouted Retsuko as she made a gang sign with her hands. Fenneko copied her and they both kissed Haida on either side of his face. 
As they both embraced Haida’s passed out body, Retsuko grabbed Fenneko’s head and pulled it in towards hers. Their lips interlocked directly in front of Haida’s unconscious gaze. 
“R-retsuko…” said Fenneko timidly as she pulled away.
“Come on Fenneko,” said Retsuko, “let me fill in for Haida this time.”
Retsuko slid her hands down the little fox’s fluffy shoulders. 
Fenneko was clearly on edge but she trusted Retsuko. 
“I-I’ve never done this before,” whispered Fenneko.
“Hehe,” chirped Retsuko, “I’ll be gentle.”
Retsuko kissed Fenneko again, their mouths interlocking like a completed puzzle. Hot saliva exchanged between uncertain quivering lips. 
Fenneko sat on Haida’s lap as Retsuko pulled down her panties. The white fox covered her face in bashfulness as the red panda slid her hands over her stomach.  
Fenneko let out a few shy squeaks as Retsuko put her hands between the fox’s thighs and spread them apart. 
There was no turning back now. Fenneko watched as Retsuko ran her tongue over the tiny unmentionable area that she barely even knew she had. The fox closed her eyes as the feeling of wet heat enveloped her. She bit her lip trying hard to muffle the unintentional yelping that the strange new sensation forced out of her. 
Retsuko was completely inundating Fenneko, her mouth consuming every inch of her delicious female innocence.    
“R-Retsuko…” moaned Fenneko in the video, “…I-I can’t take…anymore…hngg…”
Retsuko felt Fenneko’s hips as they made tiny thrusts upwards towards her. Every fiber of the little fox’s being was now focused on reaching the absolute peak of stimulation. 
“Aghnnn….hnggg…” she groaned as Retsuko clamped down upon her harder. 
“Retsuko…” she said in an out-of-breath whisper, “…Retsuko…” 
The TV screen went black as Fenneko turned off the video. 
“Retsuko…” said Fenneko with a sigh, “what was the point… if we were to never speak of that night again… and for me to be unsure and too afraid to ask - if you even remembered it?”
Tears streamed down Fenneko’s face.
“If only I had said something,” she cried, “maybe you would have stayed with me, with us, Haida and me?”
Fenneko lay on her bed and stared at the ceiling. 
“Haida…,” said Fenneko, “if I feel this way… there’s no telling what he’s feeling. It’s probably ten times worse. What if he… after I showed him that video of him with Retsuko – that night… what if he decides…to end it?”
Fenneko put her hands over her mouth.
“Oh no!” she shouted, “Haida! It would be all my fault! I shouldn’t have let him leave! He might actually do it!”
Fenneko got out of bed and put on her clothes.
She called Haida on her phone, but he did not answer. 
“No, please!” she shouted, “answer your phone! Don’t do this to me Haida!”
Fenneko ran out of the apartment and slammed the door, her fingers feverishly texting to Haida’s inbox.  
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Haida sat on his bed and strummed his bass guitar. 
He stopped for a moment and picked up a bottle. He drank the contents and then dropped it on the floor.
“Just a few more *hic* to go,” he said in a groggy tone. 
Haida resumed strumming his guitar - the sounds emanating lacking all rhyme and reason.
Fenneko ran up to Haida’s door out of breath and knocked.
She could hear him inside playing the guitar.
“Haida,” said Fenneko as she knocked on the door, “can I come in?”
There was no response. 
Fenneko turned the knob and the door opened. She walked inside.
“Fenneko, such big ears, such big eyes,” sang Haida drunkenly.
“Haida?” questioned Fenneko as she walked into his bedroom. 
“Come to join me?” groaned Haida as he strummed the guitar.
 “Haida,” said Fenneko, “are you okay?”
Haida kept strumming his guitar.
“I came to make sure you were okay,” said Fenneko.
“Do I look okay?” asked Haida with a sarcastic laugh. 
Haida reached for another bottle but it fell over and began spilling out onto the floor.
“Haida…” said Fenneko sadly, “don’t do this.”
“Okay mom…,” groaned Haida. 
Haida dropped the guitar and rolled off the bed face first onto the floor.
“Haida!” screamed Fenneko as she ran to him.
Fenneko lifted his head off the ground. His nose was bleeding. 
“You’re not the mailman!” shouted Haida, “Retsuko! Deliver those reports to Mr. Ton!”
 “Oh Haida,” said Fenneko sadly, “what have you done to yourself?”
Haida lifted his arm and stroked his hand over Fenneko’s head. Her huge ears flopped down under his hand only to pop back up again with each stroke. 
“Fenneko,” said Haida with a drunken grin, “so fluffy...”
“H-Haida,” said Fenneko hesitantly nearly in tears, “how much did you drink?”
“You’re too small,” said Haida, “how you gonna beat my new record?”
Fenneko looked around at the several empty glass bottles that littered the floor. 
“Oh God… w-we need to get you to a hospital!” cried Fenneko.
Fenneko picked up one of the bottles.
“This is nearly pure alcohol,” cried Fenneko, “why are you doing this to yourself – why are you doing this to me!?”
Fenneko took out her phone and dialed the emergency number. 
“Yes, hello!?” shouted Fenneko into the phone, “Yes, my friend needs an ambulance! Yes, it’s urgent!”
As Fenneko talked on the phone Haida rolled onto his back and spread his arms out across the floor. 
“What a joke,” he said with drunken laugh, “what a sick joke.”
Fenneko hung up the phone.
“They’re on their way,” she said, “they’re going to make you better Haida.”
Haida swung his arm and scattered the empty glass bottles across the floor.  
“Better!?” he shouted. 
Fenneko got up and put some distance between herself and Haida.
“Fuck out of my house, bitch!” shouted Haida as he rolled onto his side facing away from her. 
“I-I know you don’t mean that,” whispered Fenneko as she tried to contain her emotions.
“Oh fuck off!” shouted Haida, “you fucking knew.”
“Knew what?” cried Fenneko.
Hadia laughed. 
“You said you wouldn’t be surprised if she killed herself that day,” he said with a chuckle, “you knew the whole day and did nothing. When you finally told me, it only took me a minute to find her – but it was already too late. You knew, you knew the whole… the whole fucking day.” 
“I-I wasn’t seriously thinking that,” cried Fenneko, “I didn’t know she would actually do it.”
“Well she did,” said Haida coldly, “and no amount of pity fucks and fridge photos can change that.”
Fenneko clutched her chest as if her heart had just been stabbed by a million knives. 
“Y-you’re right,” cried Fenneko, “I-I shouldn’t have done that last night, no matter how scared or lonely - - I loved her…Haida – I know how much you loved her too, I just wanted that feeling again, just one last time… but I – I wasn’t thinking...”
Fenneko sat on the ground next to Haida and hid her face in her hands as she cried uncontrollably. 
“…I loved her, Haida,” cried Fenneko.
Haida grabbed a bottle from under his bed and rolled it toward Fenneko.
“For the love of Retsuko,” groaned Haida.
Fenneko picked up the bottle and removed the cap. She shivered as she put the rim to her lips. The liquid burned like acid as it filled her mouth. She swallowed. 
Fenneko coughed uncontrollably for several seconds.
“Dear God,” she cried, “this will be the end of me.”
She took another large gulp and then another until the bottle was nearly empty. 
Fenneko stared down at the ground. Small puddles of alcohol were scattered all around. The smell was intense like gasoline. 
Fenneko tossed her bottle across the floor. Time seemed to be slowing down and everything began to appear as if it were made of waves. 
“Is this what it feels like?” she said looking over at Haida. 
Haida groaned something unintelligible. 
Fenneko looked at her hands and waved them around.
“Heh heh,” she chuckled, “this is what it feels like.”
Fenneko’s vision began spinning so severely that she could not longer discern what anything was anymore. 
“Haida,” said Fenneko with a drunken slur, “you break my heart.”
She stumbled forward and fell on top of him.
“Haida?” Fenneko questioned as she stared directly into his face. 
His eyes were open but he did not blink or make a sound.
“They’re on their way,” groaned Fenneko, “they’re on their… way.”
Fenneko leaned forward and tried to stand only to quickly fall back down again. 
The room around her had devolved into a nightmare of disassociated motion and nonsense.
“S-so this is what it’s like,” cried Fenneko as she collapsed onto her back. She spread her arms apart as Haida had done earlier. 
Fenneko reached toward the ceiling as blackness enveloped her vision. 
“No…,” whispered Fenneko desperately, “…I don’t want this, not like – not like this...”
The last point of light in her vision faded to blackness. 
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Fenneko opened her eyes. She was in sterile-looking white room that seemed to stretch for miles in all directions. She sat up and looked around.
“Hey,” said Retsuko.
The red panda was sitting right next to Fenneko.
“R-Retsuko?” questioned Fenneko.
“Yep,” said Retsuko happily, “it’s me.” 
Fenneko hid her face in her hands and cried.
Retsuko put her arm over Fenneko’s shoulder.
“Don’t cry Fenneko,” said Retsuko, “It’s good to see you again.”
Fenneko turned and embraced Retsuko. 
“Oh Retsuko,” cried Fenneko, “I knew there was something wrong that day and I didn’t do anything to help you! I wasn’t there for you!”
Retsuko squeezed Fenneko tight and pat her on the head. 
“Don’t cry,” said Retsuko, “It was my decision, and mine only. I’m sorry I left you guys... I just couldn’t take that world anymore. This one however… everyone’s really nice to me in this new place.”
Fenneko let go of Retsuko.
“Oh Retsuko,” cried Fenneko, “I-I made a big mistake.”
“I saw the whole thing,” said Retsuko.
“I drank a whole bottle of some type of alcohol, and – I – I think it killed me,” cried Fenneko.
“Would you be sad if I told you this is the afterlife?” asked Retsuko.
Fenneko burst into tears.
“I don’t want to die!” shouted Fenneko. 
Retsuko embraced Fenneko.
“Shhh, it’s okay,” said Retsuko, “you’re not dead.”
“B-but you’re here,” cried Fenneko, “that means I’m dead!”
“Nah-ah,” said Retsuko with a smile, “you just gotta open your eyes.”
“My eyes are already open,” said Fenneko.
“Oh, no they’re not,” said Retsuko with a laugh, “just concentrate and open your eyes.”
Fenneko blinked several times.
“It –it isn’t working!” shouted Fenneko.
Retsuko stood up and extended her hand.
“Here, let me help you,” said Retsuko.
 Fenneko took Retsuko’s hand and stood up next to her. 
“Please Retsuko,” said Fenneko desperately, “please, help me.”
“Do you trust me?” asked Retsuko.
“Yes,” said Fenneko.
Retsuko stood in front of Fenneko and grabbed her by her shoulders.
“This might hurt a little, but it should do the trick,” said Retsuko, “ready?”
Fennko nodded.
“Wake the fuck up Fenneko!” shouted Retsuko as she shook her body violently.
“Hey!” shouted Fenneko, “Stop it! Owe! I thought you had magic or some shit!”
“NO FUCKING MAGIC!” shouted Retsuko in her demonic death metal voice, “ONLY PAAAAAIIIIINNN!!”
Retsuko slammed Fenneko to the ground and slapped her in the face.
 “AAHAHAHA!” laughed Retsuko, “WAKE THE FUCK UUUPP!!”
Retsuko grabbed Fenneko by her ears and slammed her head against the ground.
Fenneko clenched her eyes shut as her head hit the floor.
“Fucking hell Retsuko!!” shouted Fenneko as her eyes burst open.
Retsuko was gone. 
Fenneko sat up and looked around. She was in a hospital bed in a room full of machines. Everything was quiet. All she could hear was the faint sound of beeping from a nearby heart monitor. 
Fenneko held her head, it hurt so much.
 “Retsuko…” whispered Fenneko, “…it worked.”
The door to Fenneko’s room opened and a nurse walked in.
 “Oh thank goodness,” said the nurse, “we thought you would never open your eyes. How are you feeling - any pain, soreness?”
“My head…” said Fenneko with a chuckle, “it’s killing me, like someone just slammed it against the ground.”
“Oh, that should go away soon,” said the nurse, “very typical of your condition. We had to put you on a machine that cleaned your blood and breathed for you for a while. Your brain and organs would have been severely damaged had the doctors not treated you when they did, you’re very lucky to be alive.”
Fenneko sat back in the bed.
“How’s Haida?” asked Fenneko.
“Who?” asked the nurse.
“My friend. I made the call - the call was for him,” said Fenneko.
“Oh,” said the nurse as she looked at a chart, “it says here you were the only patient brought in that day.”
“Is he… dead?” asked Fenneko sadly. 
“I don’t know,” said the nurse, “I only just started working here so I don’t know too much about your case - it happened so long ago, it’s possible he went to a different hospital, I can check for you.”
Fenneko looked at the nurse with an awkward expression.
“What do you mean… so long ago?” asked Fenneko, “how long was I out?”
The nurse looked at the chart. 
“You were in a coma for a little over… umm – seven months and… two weeks,” said the nurse.
“Seven months!?” said Fenneko in shock.
“Yeah, I can’t wait to tell the staff that you’re finally awake,” chirped the nurse, “I know the last thing Dr. Stevens wanted to deal with was delivering a baby for a comatose patient, he’ll be overjoyed when I tell him you’re finally up!”
The nurse left the room and all became silent. 
Fenneko stared up at the ceiling and took a deep breath. She sat up and lifted the sheets of her bed and looked down.
Before she could react there was a knock at the door.
“Fenneko, you’re awake…”
Fenneko looked up. Tears immediately began running down her face.
“Oh… Haida.”
(End)