Tanya's Burger Stand A Furside Tale by Misterbony Tanya was a beautiful lioness. From head to toe she had soft, sleek, golden fur, complemented by eyes of a similar hue. Her hand and feet paws were massive, with big claws she rarely used, and she always had a toothy smile. She was also a Fr who was a definitive carnivore. So it was no suprise that she opened a hamburger stand in the Neutral District. It did not look like much, just a large square building that was completely and entirely a massive kitchen, with six stools attached to a window and countertop. It was a lot like stands you would have seen at the carnivals. And Tanya worked it alone. Tanya loved her customers and got very close to all of them as a result. She never ate Humes, but she sure served a lot of them, many having prefrence on the kind of meat in their burger. And she had several variations, from regular ground beef to pork to chicken to expensive meat styles of various sorts. Her best burger, however, was the Meatastic, a blend of various expensive meats. It was her best seller. And it was little Mickey's favorite. He was there now, eating the burger he saved all week to buy, like always. The little seven year old was easily Tanya's favorite customer. His ruby hair, tanned and sllightly plump body, blue eyes, and pleasant voice were all delights for the lioness. Every week, usually on Saturday, he would come order a Meatastic. she would then blend the meat from cow, pig, chicken, and even ox into a single ground patty, spicing it up. Then it went on a big flat iron griddle, where it cooked up quickly along with a big toasted bun. She never put anything on the burger, not even lettuce or tomato, unless the customer asked for it. And all Mickey ever put on his burger was a litle ketchup and some diced onion. Said too much else ruined the flavour of the yummiest burger ever. But the sale of the burger was half the fun. Mickey and Tanya then talked about their days, about how life was treating them. But oday the conversation went in a different direction... ***************** "How is it?" Tanya asked, as Mickey finished the fourth bite of the massive burger. "MMMMM!" HE managed to get out, Tanya laughing as she wiped the counter, earing her white apron and chef's hat. Normally she went au natural, since her fur covered her completely, but she loved cooking in her apron. Besides, Mickey always seemed to like it. "Tanya..." He asked after swallowing a bite. "Do you ever cook Hume?" The lioness blushed. "Why do you ask dear?" Mickey smiled. "MY best friend Joey, he got caught yesterday. Some bear lady now owns him. She roasted him like a pig over a fire." As he said it, he looked at the meat grinder. "Well Joey was unlucky. See not all Furs eat Humes. I myself never had one. I prefer other forms of meat." Mickey got curious. "Not even me?" Tanya giggled some. "If I ate you I would lose my best customer!" She patted his head. Mickey, however, was not done. "But say you did... how would you do it?" Tanya was speechless for a few seconds. "What?" "How would you eat me, if you were going to?" Tanya chuckled. She thought for a bit then spoke. "Well, firat I wold fatten you. Give you a week in some kind of pen, and feed you lots of meat. Once you were plump, I would take my biggest meat grinder and pop you in it. Then I would spice you up some..." "With what?" The boy asked, leaning close. "Oh I dunno... a little garlic. Maybe some red and black pepper. A good helping of italian seasoning." Mickey mmmed. "SOunds yummy." Tanya chuckled. "Then I would mold you into a single patty, the biggest I ever made, big and thick and round, but pressed in the middle so it doesn't puff up when cooked. Then I would put you on the grill until you were cooked medium well." Mickey waited a moment, and then askd. "And then?" Tanya chukled. "Then? Then I'd eat ou of course. I'd get a big poppyseed bun, boy sized, and plop the patty on it. I'd add a little spicy mayo and maybe some tomato and onion. Finaly, I would eat you in tiny, nibbly bites. That's how I would eat you." Mickey chuckled. "Ok, just was wondering." He finished the burger and paid Tanya. "I would like it someday if you caught me. Being food that waysound skinda fun!" Tanya giggled and pat Mickey's head, giving him the change. "It does at that. Well, maybe someday." She handed him the chance. "See you next wek kiddo!" "Bye!" He said. "Say hi to your mom and dad for me!" "Will do!" And with that, the boy wa sgone. Tanya just chuckled. The very idea, her eating that little boy. Never happen. Soon after she closed up shop, and pulled out a squirming guy from the freezer, all tied up and wriggling. He had tried to steal from her customers, and the plice had okayed the consumption before being reformed over at the jailhouse. "This is why I could never eat that adorable little boy." She told the thief, picking up a large butcher knife. "I'm just too cruel, and love my prey just so evil." God she loved her job. THE END