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  "description_bbcode_parsed": "<span style='word-wrap: break-word;'>I miss camping with my friends so bad, I miss going out on the water and just spending the day playing. I want to go back but i don&rsquo;t think I&rsquo;ll ever experience that feeling again. Life is hell now and I don&rsquo;t understand anything anymore. I&rsquo;m scared, I don&rsquo;t know what to do with my life, and I feel like I&rsquo;ll never be happy again. I&rsquo;m crying as I write this, I just want to go back so fucking bad. I miss being okay. I miss having fun. <br />I hate being alive now. I&rsquo;m barely even a person anymore. I tried to end it a number of times last year but couldn&rsquo;t go through with it. I just want to feel again. I want to feel like I have a future, I want to feel like I have options again.<br /><br />I want to go back to the lake, I felt safe then. I felt happy then.<br /><br /><br /><br />admins if you see this and want me to remove it just tell me to or do it yourself I guess. Love you guys.</span>",
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