The Life of Young Greg: The Play


"I got the part! I got it! I got the freaking part!" Young Greg cheered as he walked home with fists full of happiness. Not even the afternoon bullies dampened his mood! He got it! He got the freaking part!

Every year the school puts on a big play/musical, and Greg has gone to see the upperclassmen (8th graders) preform every year, but now it was HIS turn! He was going to have his moment in the spotlight! What if there's a theater agent out there? He could get on Broadway!

Greg squealed with happiness and started skipping home. This year the school was going to put on Peter Pan, and HE was Peter Pan! The play was practically named after him! Greg would be where all the eyes would be; he sang, he danced, he fought, he flew, he ROCKED. The young raccoon has never been so happy before.

Greg knew that this would be hard work, but he was ready for every speed-bump, obstacle, hang-up, and hurdle to throw itself in his way! Greg was going to be a star, he would be remembered at this school for centuries to come, he could FEEL it!

The cast wasn't that great, but that only gave him more of an opportunity to shine. His counterpart, Wendy, was played by this wolf girl named Ivelese; she's probably foreign or something, he's never met her before, and he hated her singing voice, but again, more of an opportunity to shine <3

Greg was surprised to see that another kid who was bullied a lot got the part of Captain Hook. Damuel was a weird one, he always died his hair purple, and he payed the Nerd-Price for it; name-calling, signs being put on his back, shoving, kicking, gum consistently put in his hair, pantsing, and yes, wedgies. He wore tighty whities regularly too, which, for some reason, created a small bond between them. Greg liked to practice with him a bit more than the other kids, even though he could never match Greg's fantastical singing and acting ability.

Occasionally they would go to Damuel's house or Greg's, depending on who's parents weren't home, and they would practice in just their undies. It was easier to move around then, and it filled them with raw passion as they felt totally exposed and vulnerable. It was weird, but they liked doing it, and it made them feel silly. They had a lot of choreographing to do anyways, they were Captain Hook and Peter Pan for Pete's sake! 

Nevertheless, Greg felt so ready for this. He was the first one to get off book, and he knew his singing voice was like satin flowing in the wind. There was only one problem --

The day before the big premier, when Greg was leaving school, Lou and his gang of thugs came up and pinned Greg against the wall. They pulled his pants down despite the way he held his knees together, and kicked him right between the legs. 

They let go of him so he could slowly fall to the floor in a mortified sigh, clutching his poor young sack. As he did so, the entire group of older kids laughed at him. Through his teary eyes, Greg saw something that scared him so bad he almost gagged; tickets.

Each one of them had tickets, and showed them to Greg before leaving him in his agony. The walk home was the hardest journey he had ever made. 'They're coming to the show... they're going to do something... they're coming to the show...' He thought in a loop the entire time. He didn't even spare a second to his sore balls, those were in another world, in a /better/ world. In his mind, he was thinking of all the horrible things that could go wrong. He saw that movie Carrie, he knows things!

Suddenly the world was darker, and he could hardly rehearse anymore. Greg took Valerian-Root, Melatonin, all the things he takes to calm down, but he still had a knot in his stomach. He threw away the jeans and briefs he was wearing, and put on his pair of lucky underwear; his red Bikini Briefs. They felt great AND helped him through some very hard times, though that was another time, and another story.

When the time came for him to dawn his green tights, brown shoes, and green shirt, Greg felt a /little/ bit more confident, not much, but a little. The school wouldn't let Peter Pan wear a knife around his waist, like he does in all the other plays, so he just wore a belt with an empty sheath.

With his battle armor donned, the young raccoon snuck out of the house. He never told his parents about the play, since he knew he would act better without them there. This was the only costume that the school had for Peter Pan, and he /wouldn't/ let anyone outside the theater see him in it, so he went from bush to bush and did his best to stealth this. He gotta go fast.

Greg entered the school through the back exit; closest to the theater department. Everything was cool, he was getting his makeup on and everything, when out of nowhere the director tells him that he will be hooked up to a harness and actually flown around for a few scenes. They haven't brought this up with him until tonight, however it does make sense, now that he thinks about how he moved around while they rehearsed.... Apparently this bat kid named Wubz would be controlling him, and most of the other tech stuff in the show. The bat went over some of the safety procedures with him and attached the harness painted green to match Greg's outfit.

Greg had a /very/ bad feeling about this that made him feel like he was going to puke. Luckily for him, however, he didn't have time to puke, THE SHOW WAS STARTING!

The auditorium was packed, sold-out in fact. Parents, students, and people wanting to see a good Middle School Production, they were all there, and Greg was ready to amaze them.

Just like a knight before battle, Greg felt the anticipation boiling in his stomach as he waited back stage, with the green harness around his chest. He was supposed to fly in through the window, sing, and take them off to Neverland. He was ready. He was ready.

And he was ready. He flew in and did what he thought was the best interpretation of Peter Pan to date. This was history in the making, the future Broadway actor who came from nothing. He would be famous, and known world wide, sipping champagne and eating caviar with famous people, riding around in a Limo and living in LA! He was ready. 

The play was going perfectly, but it all switched from the best experience of his life to what Hell is actually like in the blink of an eye.

Greg and Damuel were fighting on stage with wooden swords. The crew had done an amazing job decorating the stage -- though it made it a bit hard for Greg to swing around, with Damuel actually standing a good 8 feet off the ground stage right on the hull of a pirate ship, and palm-trees stage left, this was by far the most tricky scene for him to play.

"Tap! Tap! CLACK!" The sounds of their swords clashing was only audible to those on stage. The audience heard the thrilling theme to Pirates of the Caribbean , with the sound of steel on steel playing over top of it.

Damuel himself was dressed in a long red coat with golden scroll-work cheaply painted on some parts of it.He wore black pants, an eye-patch, and his iconic hook. He was a surprising good captain hook -- well, that was until the part where he was supposed to grab Peter Pan with his hook and pull him in close.

Something must have gone wrong with the harness & wire system, because once Damuel hooked onto Greg's shirt; the wire pulled him away from Damuel instead of towards him. This caused Damuel to stumble forward with a shout and fall over the side of the pirate ship. 

The audience gasped as the pirate went overboard, but they all suddenly broke out in laughter as a loose nail caught the waistband of his tighty whities and suspended him 4 feet off the ground. He gave a squeal and bucked around wildly as the bright white fabric hung him there in place. Damuel was blushing so bright that people in the farthest row back could see. He had no choice but to hang there in an agonizing hanging-wedgie, ON STAGE as hundreds of people laughed at him. Suddenly the laughter got even louder as they saw the events on the other side of the stage.

When the harness pulled Greg backwards, he dropped his sword in an instant and held onto the harness for dear life. The fear pumping through his veins made him lose control of his bladder and he felt himself start to pee in absolute terror. The pants didn't help absorb any at all since a palm tree hooked onto them and ripped them right off!

The wire & harness stopped and hung him high up in the air, right in the middle of the stage. He started crying loudly in absolute humiliation as pee flowed out of his exposed red bulge and down his bare fur legs into a puddle beneath him. He covered his face and tried to hide himself, but he kept crying like a baby as all the audience practically laughed themselves to tears.

The curtains closed, and the last thing the audience saw was a trembling, half naked little kid who peed himself on stage.

The show was put on standby as they got both Damuel and Greg down. With a sympathetic look, the stage manager handed Greg a towel, but he could tell the stage manager was holding back his laughs. He bolted and ran right home, not giving a fig about his wet undies & legs. There was an understudy who could take the role of Peter Pan anyways, Greg just wanted to hug a pillow and cry into it.

And that's what he did...

The next day everyone was pushing him around and laughing at him, taunting him with named like 'Baby' and telling him to wet his pants. The play was recorded and shared around the entire school. Apparently the Tech guy, Wubz, was found tied up in the boys locker room in nothing but his boxers after the show, meaning someone /else/ was in control of his harness, and it didn't take him very long to guess who it was...

Even though he will never live this down, Greg formed a real bond with Damuel through this horrific event. They both suffered that day, and they tried to move past it together, even if that seemed very unlikely.

There was one thing that hit Greg the hardest out of all of this---




Ivelese didn't show up to school the next day. She was signing a contract with a talent agent who was in the audience...