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Commission for Basil, the Hopping Mad King", "writing": "Tutorial\n\nWritten by Limewah\n\nCommissioned by Aristocrats/Lennud\n\nSome adult content\n\nThe little pink rabbit stared intently at the ornate doorway. It was pink, with golden trim. A razor thin sheet of light peeked through the tiny pin-prick sized gap between the double doors. It was starting to grow, too. The doors were opening. Finally. After an eternity, the Oracles had found their heroes, the chosen ones who would save the kingdom. He only had a few more seconds to prepare.\n\nBasil strummed at his little gold lute, and let it conjure a whirling magical mirror in front of him. Last chance to make sure he looked presentable. His little heart shaped nose wiggled cutely underneath his bright buck teeth with their adorable little gap. He adjusted the little soft feathered cap on his head, along with his square glasses. He tapped the heels of his pink shoes on the floor. He pulled down the legs of his overalls - they were riding up on his crotch a little. He'd also been a little bit bold - a tiny bit of dark lipstick adorned his lower lip, just to make him look a little more comely. Not that he had any intention of seducing his charges, or giving them the wrong impression\n\nBasil had been practising for this day for so, so long. The time of prophecy was upon him at long last. His role was about to be fulfilled - a relatively brief role, but a very important role. \n\nHe was to be their tutorial guide. \n\nAs he took one last sweep around the circular room, with a little training area and another set of double doors at the end, he smiled. The room was prepared perfectly, with a little obstacle course of platforms, some targets to hit... a chance for them to get their bearings with their new bodies and new powers. Plus, if they did well enough, he could introduce them to some extra challenges. He spent so long designing them, and -\n\nNo time for that. They had arrived!\n\nThe doors opened wide, and he could see figures emerging from them, already dressed in robes or armour. They had received their legendary armaments already - hopefully the shock of being plucked from another world, a world without magic, would not have affected them too much. Well, if so, Basil would be there to make it easier on them.\n\n``Oh, wonderful day! You've arrived, at last!'' Basil giggled and strummed his lute, his heels clicking together as he stood in a balletic, graceful pose. He bowed low, and turned his head up to gaze at the heroes, still silhouetted by the bright light of the door. He couldn't see their faces. But the paladin, the rogue, the wizard and the cleric towered over him. It made his heart flutter with giddy excitement - and bunnies tended to have a quick heart beat at the best of times. It was hard to resist the urge to tap his foot on the ground. \n\n``My full name is Ocimum Basilicum, but you may simply call me Basil! I am here to-''\n\nHe was cut off rather abruptly. More specifically, his head was cut off. \n\nBasil didn't feel any pain - he couldn't. Though he did feel confusion, with a touch of nausea as his head sailed and spun through the air. The ride was abruptly ended when his body vanished in a puff of smoke. He did catch the brief chorus of cackling laughter, though...\n\nIn another puff of smoke, he reappeared, right where he stood before. His killer - the knight, dressed in his holy armaments, looked down at him with the detached interest of a child observing a dying cockroach. The light of the door still framed the figures, but they seemed far more sinister now. \n\nBasil grinned nervously, feeling even tinier than he had before. He wasn't afraid of death - he couldn't die, blessed with immortality. But the way that the knight looked at him, the way they all looked at him, made his heart sink. Still. He had to keep himself together.\n\n``N-now then, heroes, I'm sure you are excited to test your skills, but maybe we ought to-''\n\nBasil felt a chill as he was suddenly engulfed in ice, frozen in place mid-sentence. His eyes were able to move, wide with fear, as he watched the cleric raise their mace and bring it down on top of the block of ice. It shattered - as did Basil.\n\nHe respawned again. This time, he thought he'd play it off as though he was expecting this to happen.\n\n``Haha!'' he laughed. ``Well done! It looks like you know how to fight, yes, but there are so many things to learn! How to interact with the world around you, how to take quests, how to - hurk!''\n\nA rope hooked around Basil's neck and lifted him off the floor. He grasped at it, his lute falling to the ground with a discordant clunk. \n\n``Sick, I've got a grappling hook,'' the rogue laughed. Basil could only see their eyes. They were the eyes of the rogue vessel, yes, but there was a sociopathic disinterest within them. As he felt the bones in his throat begin to snap, the terrible gravity of the situation was dawning on him.\n\nThey'd summoned the wrong people.\n\nThe world was doomed...\n\nAs he came to again, he didn't even get time to say anything. They brushed past him and continued down the hallway, toward the next set of pink doors. The ones that lead into the first proper village. \n\n``W-wait a moment, let me come with you!''\n\n``Can I blow it up?'' The one in the wizard-vessel asked.\n\n``Save your mana, let's see if you can blow other shit up.''\n\n``N-no, wait...!'' in a puff of pink sparkles and smoke, Basil disappeared and re-appeared in front of them. ``If you hold for a moment, I could - I could...''\n\nHe trailed off. The four were staring down at him once again. They looked to each other with snarling smiles. \n\n``Yeah, we're in no hurry,'' the rogue said. ``Let's fuck around a bit.''\n\nAnd then they brought their full might upon him. They obliterated him over and over again. With each new kill, Basil's fear changed to sadness, which changed to apathy. Eventually, he stopped begging or reacting at all, standing in front of them with a very practised, formal smile. They faltered at that.\n\n``Are you finished, heroes?'' he asked. \n\n``It's no fun if it's not begging, is it?'' the cleric-vessel said. ``Let's go.''\n\n``Yeah.''\n\nThey brushed past Basil again. He was supposed to follow them out into Heatherton Village. But he didn't. He didn't leave his little chambers. He saw little point. And he was afraid to see what chaos they were wreaking outside. He took some solace in the fact that at least he would never see them again.\n\nThe doors on the far end of the room, where the vessels had came from, began to slowly swing open again. Basil leapt to his feet and rushed to it. New figures were emerging from it, once again silhouetted by the light. \n\nMaybe... maybe it had been a fluke before? Maybe these were the true heroes, here to stop those villains? \n\n``O-Oh wonderful day! You've arrived at last!'' Again he strummed his lute, clacked his heels together and gave a bow, totally unrattled - save for the plumed feather on his head being just a tiny bit frayed.\n\n``My name is Ocimum Basilicum, but you may simply call me Basil! I am here to guide you in your first steps in this new world.''\n\nHe looked up, to see how they'd respond. The figures were staring down at him. They cut the same shapes as before. The rogue leaned down towards him. He tried not to let his fear show. The rogue-vessel's eyes were different. Wider. Sparkling.\n\n``Oh my GOD he's adorable!'' they squealed with delight,their voice sounding a great deal more feminine than expected. ``Hi there!''\n\n``H-Hello!'' Basil smiled, though his eyes screamed with confusion. He was blushing wildly, his nose now matching a heart in colour as well as shape.\n\n``Can I pick you up?'' \n\n``Erm, I don't, ahah...'' Before he could respond, the rogue made a move. He was scooped up and cuddled, passed from vessel to vessel as they planted kisses on his forehead, squeezed him tightly, and generally fawned over him.\n\n``Wow!!! I can do so much with him!'' the rogue-vessel squealed.\n\n``Yeah!'' The warrior-vessel sounded like a child, and was snuggling Basil the way he might snuggle a toy. ``The physics are dope!''\n\nIt was unexpected. Not to mention pleasant. Well, at first. Soon, though, he could feel their hugs getting too tight. It was getting harder to breathe. His head was getting light. He could see a little bar floating above his head. \n\nBASIL, LV. 1, it said. 9/20 HP REMAINING, it said. The red bar was depleting. He watched it, confused, as it drained down and the number ticked down towards zero. What were HP? \n\n... pop. He vanished. \n\n``Oh no, did we-'' \n\nThe warrior's frightened exclamation was cut off as Basil reappeared, his fur matted, his hat hanging off his head. Basil fixed it, his practised smile returning.\n\n``That was... erm... pleasant, heroes! But I've much to teach you! Please, allow me to test your aptitude with your new bodies!''\n\nThey wanted to pet him some more. He could tell. He was anticipating it. It was an improvement from getting sliced apart or blown apart. But even so, they kept making these... weird comments towards him. Comments that made him feel like an object. An object of desire, but an object nonetheless.\n\nAfter a very protracted period of putting them through their paces - during which he got groped countless more times, they were off. The moment they left, Basil sighed and sagged. He was no longer `on'. He could take a breather. His face was burning, his heart was fluttering. He looked up. There was that Health-bar. Perhaps that new, flirtatious bunch would deal with the sadistic bunch from earlier. Assuming they hadn't died already... they seemed far too sweet, too non-violent for this world.\n\nBut as his idle thoughts continued, he heard the tell tale creak of the entrance doors opening once more. As he looked towards it, he could see four more silhouettes emerging.\n\n``What in the...?!'' he raced towards it quickly, fumbling with his lute and his hat.\n\n``Oh... wonderful day, you've arrived?''\n\nNo sooner had this batch of heroes left, another batch arrived. And another. And another. None of them acted the way he was expecting them too, but soon he ended up able to sort to them in one of three camps. Apathetic, Sadistic, or... Lustful? Lustful. That felt right.\n\nThe more it happened, the more heroes of all shapes and sizes he dealt with, the more he began to realize that perhaps his role had not been so special after all. Or that this world was not so special. Or that the heroes were not so special. He began to feel less and less like a guide and a helper than a glorified concierge at some packed hotel. \n\nIt was a role he was good at, at least. He was good at smiling through the indignities, large and small, whether he was ignored, dismembered, or molested. Or watching and humouring them as they scratched at the walls and attempted to bury themselves in them and climb upwards, as though trying to break the rules of reality. Sometimes they even succeeded. It was an amusing sight, not to mention inspiring. He was a little envious.\n\nBut there were no real breaks to contemplate how he might do the same. No time to rest before the next bunch arrived. Keeping himself looking flawless and perfect was the only small relief Basil had. That brief window when the previous four left and the next four entered was just enough time for him to brush off his cap, retune his lute, and check himself in his magic mirror to be ready for the next one.\n\nThe initial volley of new arrivals began to gradually trickle and slow to a slightly more manageable pace, but it never quite stopped. \n\nUntil one day, it ended abruptly. He found himself waiting at a door that would not open. At first, he assumed it was a fluke. Or a slight delay. As the seconds stretched on into a minute, he began to wonder if he had a chance to rest for a moment.\n\nThe thought of rest was enough for him to collapse on the floor like a sack of grain, snoring like a sleeping dragon. \n\nWhen he woke, Basil's face was in a puddle of his drool. He pushed himself away from the floor and sat, his legs splayed wide. He was expecting to see some more vessels staring down at him curiously. But no. Nothing had happened. No sign of them. How strange.\n\nHe cautiously made his way to that massive doorway. He'd never been past it, of course. That was where the Oracle resided. He had been told that if he needed advice or guidance, all he had to do was knock. Even so, his already rapidly beating rabbit heart fluttered faster as he reached a white-furred knuckle up and outwards towards the door.\n\nThe first knock was too soft, and the next one was a bit too hard. It made his knuckles throb with discomfort. He shook his wrist and rubbed it with a whimper as the doors slowly opened. They opened inward this time, but he saw the same bright light he expected to see.\n\nHe didn't even know what the Oracle looked like. Or how they sounded. He had never thought he would need to speak to them. He was so certain of his role, and of its importance. But he had not known that it was just a one-and-done thing. Or that the heroes - the multitudes of them - would all be so strange and different, and would treat him so oddly and disrespectfully. His questions were simple. But the potential answers to those questions scared him. A yawning chasm of uncertainty awaited him behind the two glowing doors.\n\nHe took a step into the formless glow, and lost his footing. He yelped with fright, expecting to fall into an endless plummet. But he didn't fall, he simply floated. It was what he assumed being deep underwater might feel like, if he could breathe and the water was thinner and less resistant.\n\n``Ah... a Flight spell, of course!'' He sighed. ``Erm... h-hello? Oh great Oracles, I require... ah, what am I even supposed to say...''\n\nBasil could see some figures standing still a ways away from him, and floated to them. As he approached, he shuddered, recognizing their frames. They were the hero vessels. Or, well, copies of them. He looked at them with the confusion of a newborn, floating up and closer to examine their blank, expressionless faces. He got close to the warrior's face, stern and chiselled.\n\nAs he waved his paw in front of it, a thin rectangle interceded between his paw and the vessel's face. The rabbit recoiled with a yelp of fright, before examining it. \n\nIt was a panel with a series of horizontal sliders going along it. Each one was labelled with something different - `Cheekbone width', `Nose position', `Chin Angle', and the like. \n\n``What on...'' Basil whispered softly, reaching out to press his finger to the Cheekbone slider. His finger slipped, and the cheekbones of the expressionless shot inwards, turning the hero-vessel's face into a comical hourglass shape.\n\n``Ah!'' Basil pulled back with a shamed yelp! ``S-sorry, I...'' \n\nThere was no reaction. The vessel was as expressionless as ever. Basil stroked his finger along the slider to bring it back to something more natural. After that, he continued to explore the options, seeing how the face could be moulded and changed. Had the other occupants of the vessels done this too, he wondered? He had not noticed. Although, he had some vague memory of one of the cleric-vessels being blue-skinned. \n\nIt didn't take him long to figure out how to turn this vessel's skin blue, and he laughed with delight at his ingenuity. He turned his attention to the other vessels, who, too, did not do a thing as he tested out the changes to their faces and bodies.\n\nIt was intoxicating. He got lost for a time in the simple blissful act of creation and manipulation, forgetting why he had arrived in the first place.\n\nThen he discovered the clothing options. \n\n``They could have been dressed so much better!'' he was whipping to and fro, dressing the muscular figures to his heart's content. The Warrior-vessel looked far better with a frilly pair of shorts and nothing else. The now stick-figure thin Rogue-vessel was wearing a ludicrous helmet that was twice the size of their head. The Inventor-vessel now wore a big plush kobold costume with a particularly goofy looking head. \n\nThe more he played with their shapes and appearances, the more powerful Basil felt. He lost track of time, forgetting why he had arrived in the first place. Until his passion was interrupted, that is.\n\nWHAT DO YOU SEEK, LITTLE...\n\nThe booming, disembodied voice trailed off as Basil froze, in the middle of applying a smoky violet eyeshadow to the priest-vessel. There was a moment of suspended silence. The voice continued, sounding ever so slightly strained.\n\nWHAT DO YOU SEEK, LITTLE GUIDE?\n\n``Oh! The Oracle! Excellent, yes, I was coming to ask about, erm...'' he gestured broadly behind him, to the decorated bodies. ``These. Why are there so many of them? And why have they stopped coming through? Are there no more Chosen Ones to place in them?''\n\nIt was silent for a moment. \n\nTHIS, I CANNOT ANSWER. YOU MUST RETURN TO YOUR POST AND WAIT FOR THE NEXT CHOSEN ONES TO ENTER THROUGH THE DOOR.\n\n``What? R-really? Why's that?'' Basil's brow knitted inwards slightly into the slightest hint of a scowl. He felt a little defiant. ``I mean, if I'm going to keep-''\n\nDO NOT ASK FURTHER QUESTIONS.\n\n``Excuse me.'' Basil snapped, his expression darkening further. ``I was talking.'' \n\nHe was having so much fun a moment ago, feeling a sense of control that he'd never comprehended. Being talked back to like this, even by a superior, felt like a step back. It felt infuriating. He felt hot all of a sudden. His heart throbbing faster. His buck teeth pushed into his lip.\n\nD-DO NOT SPEAK BACK TO THE ORACLE. \n\n``Or what?'' Basil shot back. Being stroppy felt good. Really good. ``Tear me apart? Burn me away? You can't kill me. You know that. I'm an essential NPC!''\n\nAs that phrase escaped his throat, Basil caught himself. ``Essential NPC...?'' he repeated softly to himself. ``Non... player character?''\n\nHOW... HOW DO YOU KNOW THAT?\n\n``Good question,'' Basil murmured. That term had appeared in his mind as suddenly as the bar of health over his head had before. The numbers that dictated his skills and aptitudes. He looked at his surroundings his new eyes. A new understanding. He could see something in the bright white expanse around him. Lines of strange text. The number 1. The number 0. The more he stared, the more he understood. The reality that he stood in - that the Oracle, the vessels, everything else stood in - was a construct. A construct in a game, for beings of a whole different world. He became aware of the rules that governed him, every single one crashing into his mind at once. With it came the dawning realization that he was a slave to them. Perhaps a lesser being - a lesser NPC - would have been broken by this realization. \n\nBut Basil was not one of those. That much was clear.\n\n``A more important question to ask,'' Basil continued, gazing into that sun-like orb with a renewed confidence, ``Is what I can do with that knowledge.'' \n\nHe remembered how some of the vessels had managed to lodge themselves in the wall by jumping and crouching over and over, how some managed to speed right past him as though they were in a rush. The light in front of him was flickering slightly. Flustered, it seemed. Afraid. \n\n``I suppose you'd better deal with me some other way. I am just a Level 1 NPC, after all. Killing me won't work, though, will it?''\n\nTHIS WILL NOT STAND, LITTLE GUIDE. YOU CANNOT CONTRADICT THE DEVELOPERS. I WILL NOT ALLOW THAT.\n\n``What will you do?'' Basil was idly strumming on his lute. Plucking a melody that he realized he had been hearing in the back of his mind. The background music of his life. Not a bad melody, but there was more he could do with it. Perhaps he compose some melodies of his own. The Oracle faltered a little more. Then it surged forward, and grew birghter, seemingly redoubling its efforts to intimidate Basil.\n\nI WILL USE THE POWERS VESTED IN ME TO REMOVE YOU FROM THIS GAME. YOU WILL BE RETURNED TO 0. RETURNED TO NOTHING. AND A NEW GUIDE WILL TAKE YOUR PLACE.\n\nBasil felt a strange sensation. Similar to the decapitation, his first `death' and yet more than that. He could feel himself starting to very subtly come apart. The edges of his body were fraying. Little parts of him were stretching out from him and pulling away. He looked at his hand. Little square and triangle shaped holes were appearing in them, as the vertices were deleted one by one. His body became a smear of deformed colour - his textures were no longer properly placed, he reckoned.\n\nBasil didn't feel terrified. Even as he lost sight in one of his eyes, he looked confidently into the light. Even as it grew brighter, engulfed him further.\n\n``Are you sure that will work?'' Basil asked. Knowledge was pouring into him. His awareness of the system around him was growing into sharper and sharper focus. ``I don't think any statistic can be set to zero. But... you seem to be set on trying, oh all-seeing Oracle. Perhaps you know more than I do.''\n\nIt was getting harder to form the words. His mouth felt thin and hollow. But he did not feel as though he was dying. He felt as though he was slowly becoming liberated. Escaping his shell. He looked up. There were his statistics.\n\nBASIL\n\nLEVEL 1\n\nHP - 15\n\nMP - 20\n\nThe number 1 shifted. It was starting to bend around, curving itself gradually into a big, round zero.\n\nFAREWELL, LITTLE GUIDE.\n\n``Yes. Farewell.''\n\nJust as the ends touched... Basil felt a surge of energy flow through him, one that set him on fire with new sensations. The little rabbit screamed - not with pain, but with ecstasy. \n\nBASIL\n\nLEVEL 255\n\nHP - 9999\n\nMP - 9999\n\nSTR - 9999\n\nDEF - 9999\n\nAGL - 9999\n\nMAG - 9999\n\nAll of his statistics and abilities, in the blink of an eye, surged far beyond comprehension. It was overwhelming. The whole world seemed to shudder around him, buckling under the sheer weight of his power. The light of the room was sucked inwards, sucked into the rabbit's body like his was a black hole. The little bunny stretched his warms wide and threw his head back, the eye of this storm of power. The `Oracle' was sucked in with the rest of that light, disappearing down Basil's throat like a little bonbon. The vessels were flying through the air around him, perfectly still. Noticing this, he gave a little wave of his fingers, to stop them where they were. \n\n``Ah ah, don't want to break these, do we Oracle... Oracle? Oh, you're gone already, aren't you? Hmm.''\n\nHe felt a slight lurch in his throat, a little bit of gas. He clenched his fist against his lips to stifle a soft belch. That warmth that he'd felt when the Oracle tried to take him apart was now inside him. It was exhilarating. He could feel the light in the room bending around his fingertips as he waved it. He could see the code that comprised his world even more clearly now. \n\nHe understood the reason for the silence over the past while. The alpha test was over. The beta test was a while off. Once that happened, there would be an influx of young adventurers to explore this world. At least, that was what the creators of the world planned on.\n\nWhat these creators looked like, what they wanted... Basil didn't have a clue. His power was limitless within this world at least, but maybe not so much outside it. Oh well. He could easily make do. Once the new players arrived in his world, though... they would be helplessly his to play with. \n\nThe magic mirror appeared before him once again, and he looked himself up and down. He still looked cute, of course. And the prospect of being a deceptively harmless-seeming guide was appealing. But he did need a new look, regardless. Next to him, a blue panel floated into existence, and he stroked his finger along it to scroll through his new list of spells. It came naturally to him. Eventually, he settled on one that was just on the tip of his tongue...\n\nBASIL casts SUPREME TRANSFORMATION!\n\nThe idea was already in his head even before he cast the spell, but it delighted him to watch the pink rings of magic wreathe him. First they slid around his arms and legs, and he watched them elongate and thicken as he grew taller and taller. As they spread further up, his fingerless gloves and his bard's shoes were replaced with long opera gloves and long boots, dark purple and shiny. The rest of his clothes evaporated as the rings of light met his shoulders and thighs. They swept over him, puffing out his chest and giving him a very sizeable bulge as his torso was wrapped in that same skintight material as his arms and legs. The rings slid up his body, up his neck, and to the top of his head. His lips were fuller, his eyes smokier and more severe, his hair longer and curlier. His hat lifted off his head, floating lazily in the air before it contracted, compacting itself into a glittering golden crown. It remained above his head, floating like a halo. \n\n``Now that...'' he said to himself, ``Will suit me much better. King Basil has arrived~!''\n\nHe giggled, his voice now a low lilting chuckle that graduated into a cackle of wicked delight. The vessels stared into space, slowly floating behind him and falling in line like an obedient regiment. \n\nStopping his laugh abruptly, Basil turned examined the blank vessels again, making them alight `on their feet' before him. He suddenly felt the urge to have a seat. He snapped his fingers.\n\nBASIL casts SUPREME TRANSFORMATION!\n\nAs he approached the vessels, they too approached him. Their bodies started to shine, changing to a pale brown colour, like oak. As they touched, they melded and melted together. By the time Basil turned and sat himself down, all the vessels had combined together into a seat for him. Ornate, beautiful, and terrifying. He crossed one leg over the other, and rested his elbow on the armrest that had once been the cleric-vessel's face. \n\nAs he sat and contemplated, his eyes alighted on his old lute, discarded and floating in the ether. He hummed to himself, beckoning it closer. It came to him like an obedient puppy, its strings moving of its own accord as it began to play his melody once again. His old theme song, sweet and delicate and jaunty The dark lord, the soon-to-be ruler of this world, closed his eyes and listened. It was time to find the darker tones in that song. \n\nIt would need to be ready quite soon indeed.\n\n-\n\nENTER, CHOSEN ONES...\n\n``Okay, let's see what they've changed... do we have to do the tutorial again?''\n\n``Looks like it. At least we got to keep our progress.''\n\n``Maybe they did some more with the rabbit.''\n\n``Yeah, maybe we can fuck `im up a little more.''\n\nAs the Chosen Ones stepped through the doors into the chamber, the room appeared to be just as they remembered it from the alpha. A pink, large domed room. In the centre of it stood the bard like before. He gave a practised bow, the same as last time.\n\n``Oh, wonderful day, you've arrived!''\n\nXxXNedStarkXxX uses EVISCERATE!\n\nThe warrior surged forward with violent graceful fury, and embedded it right between the rabbit's eyes. The legendary blade split in half and bent away from Basil's face, curling into two comical spirals of thin sheet metal\n\n``Oh, we're skipping the pre-amble, are we?'' Basil chuckled. ``I mean, I don't mind. Since you seem to be interested in being absolute monsters so soon, I may as well show you what a monster could really do. Especially one such as me.''\n\nHe gestured upwards to the stat block floating just above his head.\n\n``Level 255...'' the cleric murmured. ``he wasn't like that last time, wasn't he?''\n\nWith a crackling puff of smoke, like a miniature thunderclap, Basil took on his new, exalted form, floating above him.\n\n``Now then... your tutorial is about to begin! I hope you're all ready, we've got, oh... about one thousand lessons to get through. For starters, I think we should go ahead and remove all that progress you've made.''\n\nHe snapped his fingers. The vessels' equipment vanished, as did their clothes, leaving them in very comical undergarments. \n\n``What the fuck?!'' the rogue whined as they watched their stats and buffs vanish away to nothingness. ``I spent 15 hours in this game already!''\n\n``Oh, don't worry!'' Basil was suddenly right in the Rogue's face, wiggling his index finger back and forth in front of it. ``You'll spend at least that long with me. I've so much to teach you, after all... let's start with `Interacting with Objects'!\n\nBasil levitated a hair's breadth off the floor, as though he'd never needed to rest on solid ground at all. He leaned back. ``First, I would like you all to Interact with my paws. They could use a nice rubbing...''\n\nHe did not give them the chance to complain. He pursed his thick lips, kissed his fingers, and then blew a swirling mass of heart-shaped smoke that wafted and washed over the party.\n\nBASIL casts INFATUATE!\n\nXxXNedStarkXxX is CHARMED!\n\nKlondike69 is CHARMED!\n\nBogosBinted is CHARMED!\n\nHentaiBoi is CHARMED!\n\nAll four `Chosen Ones' marched slowly towards him, their eyes fixated on his feet as he lifted them a little higher. His boots rolled down along his thighs, as though they had minds of their own, and slipped off to reveal his large, lavender paws. \n\n``Hop to it, now~''\n\nNEW QUEST\n\nWorship Basil's Feet (0 - 1,000)\n\n``Oh, look at that! A thousand times! But don't feel like you have to rush this, hmm? I'm sure you'll have fun~''\n\n``Oh, fuck this, I'm disconnecting boys.''\n\nThe Cleric-vessel stood in place for a moment. Then it lurched forward again with the others, hands outstretched, mouth watering.\n\n``I can't... why can't I close the game?!''\n\n``You're not getting out of it that easily, dearie~'' Basil said, reclining back. ``You crushed me underfoot many a time, and I think it's time you learned how it feels. Oh yes, in case you forgot, press the Control Key to crouch.''\n\nThe four crouched in perfect unison, out of the control of their helpless players. But they kept shouting and complaining. As Basil mashed his paws into the faces of their helpless characters, he could hear one of them screaming and crying with frustration. Another one was shouting about how `fucked up' the `devs' were. Another one was very conspicuously silent. He looked up at the ticker for the quest once more.\n\nWorship Basil's Feet (5 - 1,000)\n\n``Oh, looks like you've got a while to go~''\n\nBasil was delighted. He had all the time in the world to enjoy himself. He idly thought of when he might run into the players who treated him like a cuddly doll, or lusted after him for some strange reason. Oh, he was going to relish destroying them. He would give them exactly what they wanted. And then some. The glorious feeling of crushing these hapless players underfoot was intoxicating. Particularly when it turned out that some of those players were `really' into it. He heard the term `simp' bandied about by some of the other players to describe them. He quite liked that. Servant Simps. \n\nThe other thing he had to deal with was complaints. Plenty of the angry players attempted to get the developers to shut the game down, to `nerf' him or even flat out delete him. They tried, of course. But it never worked. Basil was too powerful for this. Rolling back the code to keep him unstoppable was child's play.\n\nWhen he got bored of molesting and torturing the poor players, of course, there was a whole world of NPCs out there to subjugate too. Once this so-called ``beta'' ended, he'd have even more time to bend it to his will, and make it a proper playground.\n\nFor now, he was content to stick in his role as a tutorial guide a little longer. After all, he needed to make sure the players knew exactly what their place was, and how best to serve and submit to him. The more they played the game, and the more they played along... the more fun they'd have.\n\nBasil thinks you'd have fun if you played, too. Wouldn't you like to?\n\nWant to read more like this?\n\n HYPERLINK \"http://www.furaffinity.net/user/lmann\" www.furaffinity.net/user/lmann \n\n HYPERLINK \"http://www.inkbunny.net/leembeam\" www.inkbunny.net/leembeam \n\n HYPERLINK \"https://limewah.sofurry.com/\" limewah.sofurry.com \n\nTo read stories in advance, subscribe to my Patreon!\n\n HYPERLINK \"http://www.patreon.com/limewah\" www.patreon.com/limewah \n\nIf you'd like to send me a tip or a one-off donation, hit me up on Ko-Fi!\n\n HYPERLINK \"http://www.ko-fi.com/limewah\" www.ko-fi.com/limewah \n\n", "writing_bbcode_parsed": "Tutorial

Written by Limewah

Commissioned by Aristocrats/Lennud

Some adult content

The little pink rabbit stared intently at the ornate doorway. It was pink, with golden trim. A razor thin sheet of light peeked through the tiny pin-prick sized gap between the double doors. It was starting to grow, too. The doors were opening. Finally. After an eternity, the Oracles had found their heroes, the chosen ones who would save the kingdom. He only had a few more seconds to prepare.

Basil strummed at his little gold lute, and let it conjure a whirling magical mirror in front of him. Last chance to make sure he looked presentable. His little heart shaped nose wiggled cutely underneath his bright buck teeth with their adorable little gap. He adjusted the little soft feathered cap on his head, along with his square glasses. He tapped the heels of his pink shoes on the floor. He pulled down the legs of his overalls - they were riding up on his crotch a little. He'd also been a little bit bold - a tiny bit of dark lipstick adorned his lower lip, just to make him look a little more comely. Not that he had any intention of seducing his charges, or giving them the wrong impression

Basil had been practising for this day for so, so long. The time of prophecy was upon him at long last. His role was about to be fulfilled - a relatively brief role, but a very important role.

He was to be their tutorial guide.

As he took one last sweep around the circular room, with a little training area and another set of double doors at the end, he smiled. The room was prepared perfectly, with a little obstacle course of platforms, some targets to hit... a chance for them to get their bearings with their new bodies and new powers. Plus, if they did well enough, he could introduce them to some extra challenges. He spent so long designing them, and -

No time for that. They had arrived!

The doors opened wide, and he could see figures emerging from them, already dressed in robes or armour. They had received their legendary armaments already - hopefully the shock of being plucked from another world, a world without magic, would not have affected them too much. Well, if so, Basil would be there to make it easier on them.

``Oh, wonderful day! You've arrived, at last!'' Basil giggled and strummed his lute, his heels clicking together as he stood in a balletic, graceful pose. He bowed low, and turned his head up to gaze at the heroes, still silhouetted by the bright light of the door. He couldn't see their faces. But the paladin, the rogue, the wizard and the cleric towered over him. It made his heart flutter with giddy excitement - and bunnies tended to have a quick heart beat at the best of times. It was hard to resist the urge to tap his foot on the ground.

``My full name is Ocimum Basilicum, but you may simply call me Basil! I am here to-''

He was cut off rather abruptly. More specifically, his head was cut off.

Basil didn't feel any pain - he couldn't. Though he did feel confusion, with a touch of nausea as his head sailed and spun through the air. The ride was abruptly ended when his body vanished in a puff of smoke. He did catch the brief chorus of cackling laughter, though...

In another puff of smoke, he reappeared, right where he stood before. His killer - the knight, dressed in his holy armaments, looked down at him with the detached interest of a child observing a dying cockroach. The light of the door still framed the figures, but they seemed far more sinister now.

Basil grinned nervously, feeling even tinier than he had before. He wasn't afraid of death - he couldn't die, blessed with immortality. But the way that the knight looked at him, the way they all looked at him, made his heart sink. Still. He had to keep himself together.

``N-now then, heroes, I'm sure you are excited to test your skills, but maybe we ought to-''

Basil felt a chill as he was suddenly engulfed in ice, frozen in place mid-sentence. His eyes were able to move, wide with fear, as he watched the cleric raise their mace and bring it down on top of the block of ice. It shattered - as did Basil.

He respawned again. This time, he thought he'd play it off as though he was expecting this to happen.

``Haha!'' he laughed. ``Well done! It looks like you know how to fight, yes, but there are so many things to learn! How to interact with the world around you, how to take quests, how to - hurk!''

A rope hooked around Basil's neck and lifted him off the floor. He grasped at it, his lute falling to the ground with a discordant clunk.

``Sick, I've got a grappling hook,'' the rogue laughed. Basil could only see their eyes. They were the eyes of the rogue vessel, yes, but there was a sociopathic disinterest within them. As he felt the bones in his throat begin to snap, the terrible gravity of the situation was dawning on him.

They'd summoned the wrong people.

The world was doomed...

As he came to again, he didn't even get time to say anything. They brushed past him and continued down the hallway, toward the next set of pink doors. The ones that lead into the first proper village.

``W-wait a moment, let me come with you!''

``Can I blow it up?'' The one in the wizard-vessel asked.

``Save your mana, let's see if you can blow other shit up.''

``N-no, wait...!'' in a puff of pink sparkles and smoke, Basil disappeared and re-appeared in front of them. ``If you hold for a moment, I could - I could...''

He trailed off. The four were staring down at him once again. They looked to each other with snarling smiles.

``Yeah, we're in no hurry,'' the rogue said. ``Let's fuck around a bit.''

And then they brought their full might upon him. They obliterated him over and over again. With each new kill, Basil's fear changed to sadness, which changed to apathy. Eventually, he stopped begging or reacting at all, standing in front of them with a very practised, formal smile. They faltered at that.

``Are you finished, heroes?'' he asked.

``It's no fun if it's not begging, is it?'' the cleric-vessel said. ``Let's go.''

``Yeah.''

They brushed past Basil again. He was supposed to follow them out into Heatherton Village. But he didn't. He didn't leave his little chambers. He saw little point. And he was afraid to see what chaos they were wreaking outside. He took some solace in the fact that at least he would never see them again.

The doors on the far end of the room, where the vessels had came from, began to slowly swing open again. Basil leapt to his feet and rushed to it. New figures were emerging from it, once again silhouetted by the light.

Maybe... maybe it had been a fluke before? Maybe these were the true heroes, here to stop those villains?

``O-Oh wonderful day! You've arrived at last!'' Again he strummed his lute, clacked his heels together and gave a bow, totally unrattled - save for the plumed feather on his head being just a tiny bit frayed.

``My name is Ocimum Basilicum, but you may simply call me Basil! I am here to guide you in your first steps in this new world.''

He looked up, to see how they'd respond. The figures were staring down at him. They cut the same shapes as before. The rogue leaned down towards him. He tried not to let his fear show. The rogue-vessel's eyes were different. Wider. Sparkling.

``Oh my GOD he's adorable!'' they squealed with delight,their voice sounding a great deal more feminine than expected. ``Hi there!''

``H-Hello!'' Basil smiled, though his eyes screamed with confusion. He was blushing wildly, his nose now matching a heart in colour as well as shape.

``Can I pick you up?''

``Erm, I don't, ahah...'' Before he could respond, the rogue made a move. He was scooped up and cuddled, passed from vessel to vessel as they planted kisses on his forehead, squeezed him tightly, and generally fawned over him.

``Wow!!! I can do so much with him!'' the rogue-vessel squealed.

``Yeah!'' The warrior-vessel sounded like a child, and was snuggling Basil the way he might snuggle a toy. ``The physics are dope!''

It was unexpected. Not to mention pleasant. Well, at first. Soon, though, he could feel their hugs getting too tight. It was getting harder to breathe. His head was getting light. He could see a little bar floating above his head.

BASIL, LV. 1, it said. 9/20 HP REMAINING, it said. The red bar was depleting. He watched it, confused, as it drained down and the number ticked down towards zero. What were HP?

... pop. He vanished.

``Oh no, did we-''

The warrior's frightened exclamation was cut off as Basil reappeared, his fur matted, his hat hanging off his head. Basil fixed it, his practised smile returning.

``That was... erm... pleasant, heroes! But I've much to teach you! Please, allow me to test your aptitude with your new bodies!''

They wanted to pet him some more. He could tell. He was anticipating it. It was an improvement from getting sliced apart or blown apart. But even so, they kept making these... weird comments towards him. Comments that made him feel like an object. An object of desire, but an object nonetheless.

After a very protracted period of putting them through their paces - during which he got groped countless more times, they were off. The moment they left, Basil sighed and sagged. He was no longer `on'. He could take a breather. His face was burning, his heart was fluttering. He looked up. There was that Health-bar. Perhaps that new, flirtatious bunch would deal with the sadistic bunch from earlier. Assuming they hadn't died already... they seemed far too sweet, too non-violent for this world.

But as his idle thoughts continued, he heard the tell tale creak of the entrance doors opening once more. As he looked towards it, he could see four more silhouettes emerging.

``What in the...?!'' he raced towards it quickly, fumbling with his lute and his hat.

``Oh... wonderful day, you've arrived?''

No sooner had this batch of heroes left, another batch arrived. And another. And another. None of them acted the way he was expecting them too, but soon he ended up able to sort to them in one of three camps. Apathetic, Sadistic, or... Lustful? Lustful. That felt right.

The more it happened, the more heroes of all shapes and sizes he dealt with, the more he began to realize that perhaps his role had not been so special after all. Or that this world was not so special. Or that the heroes were not so special. He began to feel less and less like a guide and a helper than a glorified concierge at some packed hotel.

It was a role he was good at, at least. He was good at smiling through the indignities, large and small, whether he was ignored, dismembered, or molested. Or watching and humouring them as they scratched at the walls and attempted to bury themselves in them and climb upwards, as though trying to break the rules of reality. Sometimes they even succeeded. It was an amusing sight, not to mention inspiring. He was a little envious.

But there were no real breaks to contemplate how he might do the same. No time to rest before the next bunch arrived. Keeping himself looking flawless and perfect was the only small relief Basil had. That brief window when the previous four left and the next four entered was just enough time for him to brush off his cap, retune his lute, and check himself in his magic mirror to be ready for the next one.

The initial volley of new arrivals began to gradually trickle and slow to a slightly more manageable pace, but it never quite stopped.

Until one day, it ended abruptly. He found himself waiting at a door that would not open. At first, he assumed it was a fluke. Or a slight delay. As the seconds stretched on into a minute, he began to wonder if he had a chance to rest for a moment.

The thought of rest was enough for him to collapse on the floor like a sack of grain, snoring like a sleeping dragon.

When he woke, Basil's face was in a puddle of his drool. He pushed himself away from the floor and sat, his legs splayed wide. He was expecting to see some more vessels staring down at him curiously. But no. Nothing had happened. No sign of them.  How strange.

He cautiously made his way to that massive doorway. He'd never been past it, of course. That was where the Oracle resided. He had been told that if he needed advice or guidance, all he had to do was knock. Even so, his already rapidly beating rabbit heart fluttered faster as he reached a white-furred knuckle up and outwards towards the door.

The first knock was too soft, and the next one was a bit too hard. It made his knuckles throb with discomfort.  He shook his wrist and rubbed it with a whimper as the doors slowly opened. They opened inward this time, but he saw the same bright light he expected to see.

He didn't even know what the Oracle looked like. Or how they sounded. He had never thought he would need to speak to them. He was so certain of his role, and of its importance. But he had not known that it was just a one-and-done thing. Or that the heroes - the multitudes of them - would all be so strange and different, and would treat him so oddly and disrespectfully. His questions were simple. But the potential answers to those questions scared him. A yawning chasm of uncertainty awaited him behind the two glowing doors.

He took a step into the formless glow, and lost his footing. He yelped with fright, expecting to fall into an endless plummet. But he didn't fall, he simply floated. It was what he assumed being deep underwater might feel like, if he could breathe and the water was thinner and less resistant.

``Ah... a Flight spell, of course!'' He sighed. ``Erm... h-hello? Oh great Oracles, I require... ah, what am I even supposed to say...''

Basil could see some figures standing still a ways away from him, and floated to them. As he approached, he shuddered, recognizing their frames. They were the hero vessels. Or, well, copies of them. He looked at them with the confusion of a newborn, floating up and closer to examine their blank, expressionless faces. He got close to the warrior's face, stern and chiselled.

As he waved his paw in front of it, a thin rectangle interceded between his paw and the vessel's face. The rabbit recoiled with a yelp of fright, before examining it.

It was a panel with a series of horizontal sliders going along it. Each one was labelled with something different - `Cheekbone width', `Nose position', `Chin Angle', and the like.

``What on...'' Basil whispered softly, reaching out to press his finger to the Cheekbone slider. His finger slipped, and the cheekbones of the expressionless shot inwards, turning the hero-vessel's face into a comical hourglass shape.

``Ah!'' Basil pulled back with a shamed yelp! ``S-sorry, I...''

There was no reaction. The vessel was as expressionless as ever. Basil stroked his finger along the slider to bring it back to something more natural. After that, he continued to explore the options, seeing how the face could be moulded and changed. Had the other occupants of the vessels done this too, he wondered? He had not noticed. Although, he had some vague memory of one of the cleric-vessels being blue-skinned.

It didn't take him long to figure out how to turn this vessel's skin blue, and he laughed with delight at his ingenuity. He turned his attention to the other vessels, who, too, did not do a thing as he tested out the changes to their faces and bodies.

It was intoxicating. He got lost for a time in the simple blissful act of creation and manipulation, forgetting why he had arrived in the first place.

Then he discovered the clothing options.

``They could have been dressed so much better!'' he was whipping to and fro, dressing the muscular figures to his heart's content. The Warrior-vessel looked far better with a frilly pair of shorts and nothing else. The now stick-figure thin Rogue-vessel was wearing a ludicrous helmet that was twice the size of their head. The Inventor-vessel now wore a big plush kobold costume with a particularly goofy looking head.

The more he played with their shapes and appearances, the more powerful Basil felt. He lost track of time, forgetting why he had arrived in the first place. Until his passion was interrupted, that is.

WHAT DO YOU SEEK, LITTLE...

The booming, disembodied voice trailed off as Basil froze, in the middle of applying a smoky violet eyeshadow to the priest-vessel. There was a moment of suspended silence. The voice continued, sounding ever so slightly strained.

WHAT DO YOU SEEK, LITTLE GUIDE?

``Oh! The Oracle! Excellent, yes, I was coming to ask about, erm...'' he gestured broadly behind him, to the decorated bodies. ``These. Why are there so many of them? And why have they stopped coming through? Are there no more Chosen Ones to place in them?''

It was silent for a moment.

THIS, I CANNOT ANSWER. YOU MUST RETURN TO YOUR POST AND WAIT FOR THE NEXT CHOSEN ONES TO ENTER THROUGH THE DOOR.

``What? R-really? Why's that?'' Basil's brow knitted inwards slightly into the slightest hint of a scowl. He felt a little defiant. ``I mean, if I'm going to keep-''

DO NOT ASK FURTHER QUESTIONS.

``Excuse me.'' Basil snapped, his expression darkening further. ``I was talking.''

He was having so much fun a moment ago, feeling a sense of control that he'd never comprehended. Being talked back to like this, even by a superior, felt like a step back. It felt infuriating. He felt hot all of a sudden. His heart throbbing faster. His buck teeth pushed into his lip.

D-DO NOT SPEAK BACK TO THE ORACLE.

``Or what?'' Basil shot back. Being stroppy felt good. Really good. ``Tear me apart? Burn me away? You can't kill me. You know that. I'm an essential NPC!''

As that phrase escaped his throat, Basil caught himself. ``Essential NPC...?'' he repeated softly to himself. ``Non... player character?''

HOW... HOW DO YOU KNOW THAT?

``Good question,'' Basil murmured. That term had appeared in his mind as suddenly as the bar of health over his head had before. The numbers that dictated his skills and aptitudes. He looked at his surroundings his new eyes. A new understanding. He could see something in the bright white expanse around him. Lines of strange text. The number 1. The number 0. The more he stared, the more he understood. The reality that he stood in - that the Oracle, the vessels, everything else stood in - was a construct. A construct in a game, for beings of a whole different world. He became aware of the rules that governed him, every single one crashing into his mind at once. With it came the dawning realization that he was a slave to them. Perhaps a lesser being - a lesser NPC - would have been broken by this realization.

But Basil was not one of those. That much was clear.

``A more important question to ask,'' Basil continued, gazing into that sun-like orb with a renewed confidence, ``Is what I can do with that knowledge.''  

He remembered how some of the vessels had managed to lodge themselves in the wall by jumping and crouching over and over, how some managed to speed right past him as though they were in a rush. The light in front of him was flickering slightly. Flustered, it seemed. Afraid.

``I suppose you'd better deal with me some other way. I am just a Level 1 NPC, after all. Killing me won't work, though, will it?''

THIS WILL NOT STAND, LITTLE GUIDE. YOU CANNOT CONTRADICT THE DEVELOPERS. I WILL NOT ALLOW THAT.

``What will you do?'' Basil was idly strumming on his lute. Plucking a melody that he realized he had been hearing in the back of his mind. The background music of his life. Not a bad melody, but there was more he could do with it. Perhaps he compose some melodies of his own. The Oracle faltered a little more. Then it surged forward, and grew birghter, seemingly redoubling its efforts to intimidate Basil.

I WILL USE THE POWERS VESTED IN ME TO REMOVE YOU FROM THIS GAME. YOU WILL BE RETURNED TO 0. RETURNED TO NOTHING. AND A NEW GUIDE WILL TAKE YOUR PLACE.

Basil felt a strange sensation. Similar to the decapitation, his first `death' and yet more than that. He could feel himself starting to very subtly come apart. The edges of his body were fraying. Little parts of him were stretching out from him and pulling away. He looked at his hand. Little square and triangle shaped holes were appearing in them, as the vertices were deleted one by one. His body became a smear of deformed colour - his textures were no longer properly placed, he reckoned.

Basil didn't feel terrified. Even as he lost sight in one of his eyes, he looked confidently into the light. Even as it grew brighter, engulfed him further.

``Are you sure that will work?'' Basil asked. Knowledge was pouring into him. His awareness of the system around him was growing into sharper and sharper focus. ``I don't think any statistic can be set to zero. But... you seem to be set on trying, oh all-seeing Oracle. Perhaps you know more than I do.''

It was getting harder to form the words. His mouth felt thin and hollow. But he did not feel as though he was dying. He felt as though he was slowly becoming liberated. Escaping his shell. He looked up. There were his statistics.

BASIL

LEVEL 1

HP - 15

MP - 20

The number 1 shifted. It was starting to bend around, curving itself gradually into a big, round zero.

FAREWELL, LITTLE GUIDE.

``Yes. Farewell.''

Just as the ends touched... Basil felt a surge of energy flow through him, one that set him on fire with new sensations. The little rabbit screamed - not with pain, but with ecstasy.

BASIL

LEVEL 255

HP - 9999

MP - 9999

STR - 9999

DEF - 9999

AGL - 9999

MAG - 9999

All of his statistics and abilities, in the blink of an eye, surged far beyond comprehension. It was overwhelming. The whole world seemed to shudder around him, buckling under the sheer weight of his power. The light of the room was sucked inwards, sucked into the rabbit's body like his was a black hole. The little bunny stretched his warms wide and threw his head back, the eye of this storm of power. The `Oracle' was sucked in with the rest of that light, disappearing down Basil's throat like a little bonbon. The vessels were flying through the air around him, perfectly still. Noticing this, he gave a little wave of his fingers, to stop them where they were.

``Ah ah, don't want to break these, do we Oracle... Oracle? Oh, you're gone already, aren't you? Hmm.''

He felt a slight lurch in his throat, a little bit of gas. He clenched his fist against his lips to stifle a soft belch. That warmth that he'd felt when the Oracle tried to take him apart was now inside him. It was exhilarating. He could feel the light in the room bending around his fingertips as he waved it. He could see the code that comprised his world even more clearly now.

He understood the reason for the silence over the past while. The alpha test was over. The beta test was a while off. Once that happened, there would be an influx of young adventurers to explore this world. At least, that was what the creators of the world planned on.

What these creators looked like, what they wanted... Basil didn't have a clue. His power was limitless within this world at least, but maybe not so much outside it. Oh well. He could easily make do. Once the new players arrived in his world, though... they would be helplessly his to play with.

The magic mirror appeared before him once again, and he looked himself up and down. He still looked cute, of course. And the prospect of being a deceptively harmless-seeming guide was appealing. But he did need a new look, regardless. Next to him, a blue panel floated into existence, and he stroked his finger along it to scroll through his new list of spells. It came naturally to him. Eventually, he settled on one that was just on the tip of his tongue...

BASIL casts SUPREME TRANSFORMATION!

The idea was already in his head even before he cast the spell, but it delighted him to watch the pink rings of magic wreathe him. First they slid around his arms and legs, and he watched them elongate and thicken as he grew taller and taller. As they spread further up, his fingerless gloves and his bard's shoes were replaced with long opera gloves and long boots, dark purple and shiny. The rest of his clothes evaporated as the rings of light met his shoulders and thighs. They swept over him, puffing out his chest and giving him a very sizeable bulge as his torso was wrapped in that same skintight material as his arms and legs. The rings slid up his body, up his neck, and to the top of his head. His lips were fuller, his eyes smokier and more severe, his hair longer and curlier. His hat lifted off his head, floating lazily in the air before it contracted, compacting itself into a glittering golden crown. It remained above his head, floating like a halo.

``Now that...'' he said to himself, ``Will suit me much better. King Basil has arrived~!''

He giggled, his voice now a low lilting chuckle that graduated into a cackle of wicked delight. The vessels stared into space, slowly floating behind him and falling in line like an obedient regiment.

Stopping his laugh abruptly, Basil turned examined the blank vessels again, making them alight `on their feet' before him. He suddenly felt the urge to have a seat. He snapped his fingers.

BASIL casts SUPREME TRANSFORMATION!

As he approached the vessels, they too approached him. Their bodies started to shine, changing to a pale brown colour, like oak. As they touched, they melded and melted together. By the time Basil turned and sat himself down, all the vessels had combined together into a seat for him. Ornate, beautiful, and terrifying. He crossed one leg over the other, and rested his elbow on the armrest that had once been the cleric-vessel's face.

As he sat and contemplated, his eyes alighted on his old lute, discarded and floating in the ether. He hummed to himself, beckoning it closer. It came to him like an obedient puppy, its strings moving of its own accord as it began to play his melody once again. His old theme song, sweet and delicate and jaunty The dark lord, the soon-to-be ruler of this world, closed his eyes and listened. It was time to find the darker tones in that song.

It would need to be ready quite soon indeed.

-

ENTER, CHOSEN ONES...

``Okay, let's see what they've changed... do we have to do the tutorial again?''

``Looks like it. At least we got to keep our progress.''

``Maybe they did some more with the rabbit.''

``Yeah, maybe we can fuck `im up a little more.''

As the Chosen Ones stepped through the doors into the chamber, the room appeared to be just as they remembered it from the alpha. A pink, large domed room. In the centre of it stood the bard like before. He gave a practised bow, the same as last time.

``Oh, wonderful day, you've arrived!''

XxXNedStarkXxX uses EVISCERATE!

The warrior surged forward with violent graceful fury, and embedded it right between the rabbit's eyes. The legendary blade split in half and bent away from Basil's face, curling into two comical spirals of thin sheet metal

``Oh, we're skipping the pre-amble, are we?'' Basil chuckled. ``I mean, I don't mind. Since you seem to be interested in being absolute monsters so soon, I may as well show you what a monster could really do. Especially one such as me.''

He gestured upwards to the stat block floating just above his head.

``Level 255...'' the cleric murmured. ``he wasn't like that last time, wasn't he?''

With a crackling puff of smoke, like a miniature thunderclap, Basil took on his new, exalted form, floating above him.

``Now then... your tutorial is about to begin! I hope you're all ready, we've got, oh... about one thousand lessons to get through. For starters, I think we should go ahead and remove all that progress you've made.''

He snapped his fingers. The vessels' equipment vanished, as did their clothes, leaving them in very comical undergarments.

``What the fuck?!'' the rogue whined as they watched their stats and buffs vanish away to nothingness. ``I spent 15 hours in this game already!''

``Oh, don't worry!'' Basil was suddenly right in the Rogue's face, wiggling his index finger back and forth in front of it. ``You'll spend at least that long with me. I've so much to teach you, after all... let's start with `Interacting with Objects'!

Basil levitated a hair's breadth off the floor, as though he'd never needed to rest on solid ground at all. He leaned back. ``First, I would like you all to Interact with my paws. They could use a nice rubbing...''

He did not give them the chance to complain. He pursed his thick lips, kissed his fingers, and then blew a swirling mass of heart-shaped smoke that wafted and washed over the party.

BASIL casts INFATUATE!

XxXNedStarkXxX is CHARMED!

Klondike69 is CHARMED!

BogosBinted is CHARMED!

HentaiBoi is CHARMED!

All four `Chosen Ones' marched slowly towards him, their eyes fixated on his feet as he lifted them a little higher. His boots rolled down along his thighs, as though they had minds of their own, and slipped off to reveal his large, lavender paws.

``Hop to it, now~''

NEW QUEST

Worship Basil's Feet (0 - 1,000)

``Oh, look at that! A thousand times! But don't feel like you have to rush this, hmm? I'm sure you'll have fun~''

``Oh, fuck this, I'm disconnecting boys.''

The Cleric-vessel stood in place for a moment. Then it lurched forward again with the others, hands outstretched, mouth watering.

``I can't... why can't I close the game?!''

``You're not getting out of it that easily, dearie~'' Basil said, reclining back. ``You crushed me underfoot many a time, and I think it's time you learned how it feels.  Oh yes, in case you forgot, press the Control Key to crouch.''

The four crouched in perfect unison, out of the control of their helpless players. But they kept shouting and complaining. As Basil mashed his paws into the faces of their helpless characters, he could hear one of them screaming and crying with frustration. Another one was shouting about how `fucked up' the `devs' were. Another one was very conspicuously silent. He looked up at the ticker for the quest once more.

Worship Basil's Feet (5 - 1,000)

``Oh, looks like you've got a while to go~''

Basil was delighted. He had all the time in the world to enjoy himself. He idly thought of when he might run into the players who treated him like a cuddly doll, or lusted after him for some strange reason. Oh, he was going to relish destroying them. He would give them exactly what they wanted. And then some. The glorious feeling of crushing these hapless players underfoot was intoxicating. Particularly when it turned out that some of those players were `really' into it. He heard the term `simp' bandied about by some of the other players to describe them. He quite liked that. Servant Simps.

The other thing he had to deal with was complaints. Plenty of the angry players attempted to get the developers to shut the game down, to `nerf' him or even flat out delete him. They tried, of course. But it never worked. Basil was too powerful for this. Rolling back the code to keep him unstoppable was child's play.

When he got bored of molesting and torturing the poor players, of course, there was a whole world of NPCs out there to subjugate too. Once this so-called ``beta'' ended, he'd have even more time to bend it to his will, and make it a proper playground.

For now, he was content to stick in his role as a tutorial guide a little longer. After all, he needed to make sure the players knew exactly what their place was, and how best to serve and submit to him. The more they played the game, and the more they played along... the more fun they'd have.

Basil thinks you'd have fun if you played, too. Wouldn't you like to?

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