{ "submission_id": "3543422", "keywords": [ { "keyword_id": "267924", "keyword_name": "asriel dreemurr", "contributed": "f", "submissions_count": "2864" }, { "keyword_id": "274482", "keyword_name": "burgerpants", "contributed": "f", "submissions_count": "79" }, { "keyword_id": "365510", "keyword_name": "chara (undertale)", "contributed": "f", "submissions_count": "14" }, { "keyword_id": "21574", "keyword_name": "coming of age", "contributed": "f", "submissions_count": "151" }, { "keyword_id": "720794", "keyword_name": "december holiday", "contributed": "f", "submissions_count": "9" }, { "keyword_id": "441760", "keyword_name": "deltarune", "contributed": "f", "submissions_count": "4365" }, { "keyword_id": "3", "keyword_name": "dog", "contributed": "f", "submissions_count": "175344" }, { "keyword_id": "123", "keyword_name": "female", "contributed": "f", "submissions_count": "1102739" }, { "keyword_id": "34", "keyword_name": "goat", "contributed": "f", "submissions_count": "24302" }, { "keyword_id": "1440", "keyword_name": "human", "contributed": "f", "submissions_count": "109981" }, { "keyword_id": "165", "keyword_name": "male", "contributed": "f", "submissions_count": "1212779" }, { "keyword_id": "199599", "keyword_name": "nonbinary", "contributed": "f", "submissions_count": "8935" }, { "keyword_id": "4369", "keyword_name": "reindeer", "contributed": "f", "submissions_count": "5808" }, { "keyword_id": "909", "keyword_name": "romance", "contributed": "f", "submissions_count": "9209" }, { "keyword_id": "4530", "keyword_name": "slice of life", "contributed": "f", "submissions_count": "1810" }, { "keyword_id": "209483", "keyword_name": "trans female", "contributed": "f", "submissions_count": "955" }, { "keyword_id": "2295", "keyword_name": "transgender", "contributed": "f", "submissions_count": "17232" } ], "hidden": "f", "scraps": "f", "favorite": "f", "favorites_count": "1", "create_datetime": "2025-02-06 21:22:24.464179+00", "create_datetime_usertime": "06 Feb 2025 22:22 CET", "last_file_update_datetime": "2025-02-06 20:53:44.596771+00", "last_file_update_datetime_usertime": "06 Feb 2025 21:53 CET", "username": "kimberlyeab", "user_id": "1078223", "user_icon_file_name": "272726_kimberlyeab_asgsafdsaf.jpg", "user_icon_url_large": "https://nl1.ib.metapix.net/usericons/large/272/272726_kimberlyeab_asgsafdsaf.jpg", "user_icon_url_medium": "https://nl1.ib.metapix.net/usericons/medium/272/272726_kimberlyeab_asgsafdsaf.jpg", "user_icon_url_small": "https://nl1.ib.metapix.net/usericons/small/272/272726_kimberlyeab_asgsafdsaf.jpg", "file_name": "5425075_kimberlyeab_friendsweleft5.doc", "file_url_full": "https://nl1.ib.metapix.net/files/full/5425/5425075_kimberlyeab_friendsweleft5.doc", "file_url_screen": "https://nl1.ib.metapix.net/files/screen/5425/5425075_kimberlyeab_friendsweleft5.doc", "file_url_preview": "https://nl1.ib.metapix.net/files/preview/5425/5425075_kimberlyeab_friendsweleft5.doc", "thumbnail_url_huge": "https://nl1.ib.metapix.net/thumbnails/huge/5425/5425075_kimberlyeab_friendsweleft5.jpg", "thumbnail_url_large": "https://nl1.ib.metapix.net/thumbnails/large/5425/5425075_kimberlyeab_friendsweleft5.jpg", "thumbnail_url_medium": "https://nl1.ib.metapix.net/thumbnails/medium/5425/5425075_kimberlyeab_friendsweleft5.jpg", "thumb_huge_x": "300", "thumb_huge_y": "300", "thumb_large_x": "200", "thumb_large_y": "200", "thumb_medium_x": "120", "thumb_medium_y": "120", "files": [ { "file_id": "5425075", "file_name": "5425075_kimberlyeab_friendsweleft5.doc", "file_url_full": "https://nl1.ib.metapix.net/files/full/5425/5425075_kimberlyeab_friendsweleft5.doc", "file_url_screen": "https://nl1.ib.metapix.net/files/screen/5425/5425075_kimberlyeab_friendsweleft5.doc", "file_url_preview": "https://nl1.ib.metapix.net/files/preview/5425/5425075_kimberlyeab_friendsweleft5.doc", "mimetype": "application/msword", "submission_id": "3543422", "user_id": "1078223", "submission_file_order": "0", "full_size_x": null, "full_size_y": null, "screen_size_x": null, "screen_size_y": null, "preview_size_x": null, "preview_size_y": null, "initial_file_md5": "20d8f3e87fbfd967bcdc7ba59d4a57a2", "full_file_md5": "20d8f3e87fbfd967bcdc7ba59d4a57a2", "large_file_md5": "", "small_file_md5": "", "thumbnail_md5": "8dbf2c3935585ac833003ebc2a409a93", "deleted": "f", "create_datetime": "2025-02-06 20:53:44.596771+00", "create_datetime_usertime": "06 Feb 2025 21:53 CET", "thumbnail_url_huge": "https://nl1.ib.metapix.net/thumbnails/huge/5425/5425075_kimberlyeab_friendsweleft5.jpg", "thumbnail_url_large": "https://nl1.ib.metapix.net/thumbnails/large/5425/5425075_kimberlyeab_friendsweleft5.jpg", "thumbnail_url_medium": "https://nl1.ib.metapix.net/thumbnails/medium/5425/5425075_kimberlyeab_friendsweleft5.jpg", "thumb_huge_x": "300", "thumb_huge_y": "300", "thumb_large_x": "200", "thumb_large_y": "200", "thumb_medium_x": "120", "thumb_medium_y": "120" } ], "pools": [ { "pool_id": "98392", "name": "To the Friends We've Left Behind", "description": "", "count": "7", "submission_left_submission_id": "3537684", "submission_left_file_name": "5414332_kimberlyeab_friendsweleft4.doc", "submission_left_thumbnail_url_huge": "https://nl1.ib.metapix.net/thumbnails/huge/5414/5414332_kimberlyeab_friendsweleft4.jpg", "submission_left_thumbnail_url_large": "https://nl1.ib.metapix.net/thumbnails/large/5414/5414332_kimberlyeab_friendsweleft4.jpg", "submission_left_thumbnail_url_medium": "https://nl1.ib.metapix.net/thumbnails/medium/5414/5414332_kimberlyeab_friendsweleft4.jpg", "submission_left_thumb_huge_x": "300", "submission_left_thumb_huge_y": "300", "submission_left_thumb_large_x": "200", "submission_left_thumb_large_y": "200", "submission_left_thumb_medium_x": "120", "submission_left_thumb_medium_y": "120", "submission_right_submission_id": "3548910", "submission_right_file_name": "5435306_kimberlyeab_friendsweleft6.doc", "submission_right_thumbnail_url_huge": "https://nl1.ib.metapix.net/thumbnails/huge/5435/5435306_kimberlyeab_friendsweleft6.jpg", "submission_right_thumbnail_url_large": "https://nl1.ib.metapix.net/thumbnails/large/5435/5435306_kimberlyeab_friendsweleft6.jpg", "submission_right_thumbnail_url_medium": "https://nl1.ib.metapix.net/thumbnails/medium/5435/5435306_kimberlyeab_friendsweleft6.jpg", "submission_right_thumb_huge_x": "300", "submission_right_thumb_huge_y": "300", "submission_right_thumb_large_x": "200", "submission_right_thumb_large_y": "200", "submission_right_thumb_medium_x": "120", "submission_right_thumb_medium_y": "120" } ], "description": "When Asriel returns to Hometown as Flowey, it's a shock to literally no one.\n\n...\n\nExcept for Pizzapants, the friend she failed to tell.\n\nCommissions for Casca, many thanks to them for helping bring this piece to life!\n\n[url=https://discord.gg/GddZvgqXgd]Hey, y'all should join my Discord! It's multifandom and queer as fuck (Please be 18+ though).[/url]\n\n[url=https://kimberlyeab.carrd.co/]Visit my website to see where else you can find my work, follow my socials, or support me on Patreon![/url]", "description_bbcode_parsed": "When Asriel returns to Hometown as Flowey, it's a shock to literally no one.

...

Except for Pizzapants, the friend she failed to tell.

Commissions for Casca, many thanks to them for helping bring this piece to life!

Hey, y'all should join my Discord! It's multifandom and queer as fuck (Please be 18+ though).

Visit my website to see where else you can find my work, follow my socials, or support me on Patreon!", "writing": "Chapter Five\n\nFelix was a boy. He knew that he was a boy. There was scruff on his chin, no tits on his chest, and he liked having a cock. All of these things were totally and one hundred percent true. He was absolutely certain of it.\n\nJust because the rare intrusive thought told him otherwise, didn't mean that it wasn't true.\n\nHe leaned against the window of his workplace, glancing back at the darkened restaurant inside. He was twenty and this was what he had to show for his entire life. Being a junior manager of some shitty pizza place in a small town.\n\nMeanwhile his friends were bettering themselves, being authentic and free in a new city. They were going to parties and building lives without him in them, making new and excited friends who actually had prospects for their futures.\n\nIt felt bad. There was no way to really sugarcoat it.\n\nFelix's hand was shaking. So, he reached into his breast pocket, pulling out a green pack of cigarettes. He popped them open and put one between his lips, picking up on that faint taste of mint which lingered within its filter. With that still shaking hand, he lit it, inhaling and allowing that soothing warmth into his lungs.\n\nIt helped, a little, stabilizing him and taming that twitchy hand. Though he then hated himself for needing something like that in the first place. It was a Band-Aid when there was a gaping wound in his very being, spilling out his personhood at an alarming rate.\n\nFelix glanced at the pack. That had been his last cigarette and there was no chance that Sans' shop was still open to grab more.\n\nFuck...\n\nA car drove by and Felix followed it with his eyes.\n\nIt would be remarkably easy to just step in front of the next one. At the speed that monsters blitzed through this town, it would probably be effective.\n\n...\n\nWhat the fuck, man?\n\nFelix took another pull from the cigarette, inhaling nice and deep, longer than he reasonably should've. It would seem that he had flown too close to the sun as he started to hack and cough, ejecting the greyish smoke from between his lips. He wheezed and hammered a fist into his leg, hating that irritating burn which now festered within his lungs.\n\n``I'm not a girl,'' he whispered with his now hoarse voice.\n\nBut he believed it even less this time around. This wasn't the kind of identity crisis that a guy would have. This wasn't some weird fetish. If it was, then the thoughts would go away when he jerked off at night.\n\nHe couldn't be trans. There was nothing that he could think of that would make him think so. Surely, other guys had to have these sorts of identity crises from time to time. Like everyone probably wanted to be a chick just because they seem so much happier with their lives.\n\nFelix sank towards the sidewalk, realizing that his legs were doing a rather poor job of supporting him at this point. He groaned as he grabbed his legs and pulled them in against his chest, nearly going fetal. There were tears in his eyes, licking at them and threatening to spill over if even one more thought entered his tormented mind. Everything was just so fucking loud.\n\n``Why did they need to come back?'' he asked himself.\n\nEverything was so much simpler when he didn't know that Flowey was like that. Life had been so much easier when he didn't know how much happier she had become. How much happier he could be if he were to...\n\nAnother car drove by and Felix felt that twitch, that urge to leap in front of it. It wasn't like his life was worth very much anyways. He was a dude with an identity crisis, a nicotine addiction, and who maybe had a couple thousand dollars to his name, if that. Barely a degree better than a fucking NEET at this point.\n\nFelix heard footsteps and looked to his side. \n\nWell well well... if it isn't the girl of the hour.\n\n``Hey,'' Flowey called, waving at him. ``Are you okay?''\n\nShe was dressed in a pair of jeans and a hoodie, bundled up against the chilly spring air. Her cane clicked as she made her way over with a bag hanging from her other powerful arm. \n\nIt was strange how familiar, yet foreign, she felt. Felix could still clock her as his friend but also, she was so much more than that, so much better than Asriel could've ever hoped to be. This was a better person, through and through.\n\nIt made Felix envious. It made him mad. It made him sad. It made him feel so many different emotions all at once, the collective sensation of them burning at his brain and threatening to send him crashing into yet another destructive spiral.\n\n``Just peachy,'' Felix grumbled.\n\nFlowey came over and placed her cane against the wall. She then, ever so carefully, started to settle down, wincing as she tried to adopt a similar position to himself. She shrugged off her bag and reached inside, pulling out two bottles of Lech, offering one of them to him. \n\nFelix scoffed and took it, twisting off the top. Flowey looked unsure of herself but mimicked him by doing the same.\n\n``Didn't realize you drank beer,'' Felix said.\n\nFlowey took a sip and cringed. ``I don't.''\n\nFelix snickered and held up the bottle. Something which Flowey also did as they tapped the necks of them against one another. ``What's the occasion?''\n\n``To seeing an old friend,'' Flowey said, reaching out and patting him on the leg. ``How are you doing, Felix?''\n\nFelix sighed and took a sip of his beer. ``Not great.'' He looked down at his lap. ``If I can be completely honest with you.''\n\nFlowey nodded. ``I'm sorry that I never told you about...'' She gestured to herself, moving her hand along the length of her still foreign body. ``About this.''\n\nFelix wanted to say that it was okay but that would've been a lie. It didn't feel okay in the slightest.\n\n``You are one of my best friends,'' Flowey then said, shaking her head. ``But I was so scared that you were going to hold it against me.''\n\nFelix frowned. ``What?''\n\n``Well, we were a squad back in high school,'' Flowey said, attempting another tiny tip of beer. She didn't cringe nearly as hard this time around though her sip was still so very small, more playacting than anything approaching genuine drinking. ``We used to go to parties together and act as one another's wingman while picking up chicks. I... I don't know... I thought you'd hate me for taking away your best friend.''\n\nFelix chuckled. ``Fuck.'' He shook his head. ``Thought never crossed my mind.''\n\n``I can see that now,'' Flowey said.\n\n``What I do feel is hurt,'' Felix said, pointing the bottle at Flowey and gesturing towards her with the neck of it. ``Feels like I've missed a huge chunk of your life. Like you guys are barely online anymore.'' He shook his head. ``It feels pretty bad to just be this stranger in the friend group. Feels like I'm barely even a part of it anymore. You come to town totally different people and even have a new friend that I've never heard about before. It hurts, bro... dude... sis?''\n\nFlowey nodded and looked down at her hands.\n\n``But also, what did I honestly expect?'' Felix followed up. He didn't want to put his whole heart out there but it was pretty hard not to at this point. It felt appropriate to lay all his cards out on the table. ``I kind of just stayed stuck in place dealing with the stuff I've been dealing with for the past two years. If I wanted to be a part of your life then I'd finally get my shit sorted and move into the city before it's too late.''\n\n``It'll never be too late,'' Flowey tried, squeezing his legs.\n\nThe two of them went silent, Felix sipping his beer while Flowey did the same, though far more apprehensively. It felt like there was something else waiting, an elephant in the room that was just eyeing up an opportunity to stampede and disrupt this tender moment.\n\n``Felix,'' Flowey tried. ``Are you trans?''\n\nFelix blinked. ``What?''\n\n``I just...'' Flowey sighed. ``This is going to sound weird but you remind me a lot of myself when I was trying to find my way out of the closet.'' She rubbed at her arm. ``And like... I don't want to make assumptions but...'' She motioned vaguely through the air as if hoping it would make the question make sense. ``I thought that I'd ask.''\n\nFelix reminded her of herself?\n\nHe wanted to laugh. It felt surreal. There was no way that she knew what this was like. She probably knew from puberty that something was wrong and needed to be fixed.\n\n``Didn't you know years ago?'' Felix asked.\n\nFlowey shrugged. ``I mean on some level but it took a lot of talking to Dess to really sort out my feelings and give them some sort of concrete label. For the longest time I thought that I was stupid and it was just some weird fetish that I couldn't get out of my brain.''\n\nFelix's eyes widened.\n\n``And I don't want to make assumptions but the way that you've been looking at me either means that you want to fuck me or be me,'' Flowey added, offering a crooked smile. ``Or both, I suppose. Though I think if it was just the former then you'd ask.''\n\nFelix was stunned silent, blinking. It was strange to hear that said out loud. Yet, he slowly came to terms with what she was saying, snickering and then cackling, burying his face into his hands to try and hide his mirth. It felt good to just let his feelings out, belting out laughter like some sort of anime villain who had just overcome his foe.\n\nMaybe he was a girl. Maybe he could transition.\n\n``Felix?'' Flowey asked.\n\nFelix sniffled and wiped at his eyes. ``Sorry, I just...'' He shook his head. ``You have no idea how weird it is to hear you say that.''\n\nFlowey chuckled and shook her head. ``Fair enough.'' She slid a little closer to him and draped an arm over his shoulders, pulling him in close. ``Plus, you also do a lot of the things I used to do. The way you dress at the beach and the games you play. I see a lot of me in you.''\n\n``Dude that's gay,'' Felix teased.\n\nFlowey scoffed. ``Only if you're a girl.''\n\nFelix realized that he was shivering, seeing the useless husk of a cigarette clenched between his fingers. He reached for his pack but then remembered that this one was the last of his current supply. And he likely wouldn't be able to get another until Sans opened his shop in the morning.\n\nThankfully, Flowey came in clutch, pulling out a yellow pack of smokes. She flipped it open and Felix grabbed one from the few that were left, placing it between his lips.\n\n``Didn't realize you smoked,'' Felix said.\n\nFlowey chuckled and tossed the pack into his lap. ``They're Dess'. Angel knows that she can afford to lose a few.''\n\nFelix lit the tip and inhaled, cringing when there was no minty flavour to them. ``Fuck... why does she smoke regulars?''\n\nFlowey shrugged.\n\nFelix helped himself to a couple pulls, closing his eyes and leaning against his friend for support. Clearly, she didn't mind the smell, likely used to it on Dess. She stayed rooted in place, being so intimate and close. Honestly, it was kind of nice to get to share this moment with her.\n\n``Where do I even start?'' Felix asked.\n\nFlowey smirked. ``I'd recommend figuring out a name for yourself. Then after that talk to your friends. And after that? Well, I can put you in contact with a trans health specialist in the city. That is... if you want to go to college. If not, I'm sure that someone in Hometown knows what to do. Not like we're in the most reactionary place on Earth or anything.''\n\n``It sounds scary,'' Felix whispered.\n\n``It is,'' Flowey said. ``Which is why we should start slow and help you along as you need it. I just... I don't like seeing you suffer, man.''\n\n``I don't like seeing me suffer either,'' Felix whispered. He helped himself to another sip of beer. ``Are you happier now?''\n\n``Much,'' Flowey replied.\n\n``Will I be happier too?'' Felix asked.\n\nFlowey squeezed him tight. ``I hope so.'' She sighed. ``I miss you.''\n\n``I miss you too,'' Felix whispered.\n\n``So, any thoughts on a name?'' Flowey asked.\n\nFelix pondered it for a moment, tapping a finger against his chin. There were a few that he had considered in the past... probably more proof that he might actually be trans as picking out girl names didn't seem like the most cis thing in the world.\n\n``I think I have something in mind,'' he whispered.\n\nFlowey nodded. ``Well, what did you have in mind?''\n\n", "writing_bbcode_parsed": "Chapter Five

Felix was a boy. He knew that he was a boy. There was scruff on his chin, no tits on his chest, and he liked having a cock. All of these things were totally and one hundred percent true. He was absolutely certain of it.

Just because the rare intrusive thought told him otherwise, didn't mean that it wasn't true.

He leaned against the window of his workplace, glancing back at the darkened restaurant inside. He was twenty and this was what he had to show for his entire life. Being a junior manager of some shitty pizza place in a small town.

Meanwhile his friends were bettering themselves, being authentic and free in a new city. They were going to parties and building lives without him in them, making new and excited friends who actually had prospects for their futures.

It felt bad. There was no way to really sugarcoat it.

Felix's hand was shaking. So, he reached into his breast pocket, pulling out a green pack of cigarettes. He popped them open and put one between his lips, picking up on that faint taste of mint which lingered within its filter. With that still shaking hand, he lit it, inhaling and allowing that soothing warmth into his lungs.

It helped, a little, stabilizing him and taming that twitchy hand. Though he then hated himself for needing something like that in the first place. It was a Band-Aid when there was a gaping wound in his very being, spilling out his personhood at an alarming rate.

Felix glanced at the pack. That had been his last cigarette and there was no chance that Sans' shop was still open to grab more.

Fuck...

A car drove by and Felix followed it with his eyes.

It would be remarkably easy to just step in front of the next one. At the speed that monsters blitzed through this town, it would probably be effective.

...

What the fuck, man?

Felix took another pull from the cigarette, inhaling nice and deep, longer than he reasonably should've. It would seem that he had flown too close to the sun as he started to hack and cough, ejecting the greyish smoke from between his lips. He wheezed and hammered a fist into his leg, hating that irritating burn which now festered within his lungs.

``I'm not a girl,'' he whispered with his now hoarse voice.

But he believed it even less this time around. This wasn't the kind of identity crisis that a guy would have. This wasn't some weird fetish. If it was, then the thoughts would go away when he jerked off at night.

He couldn't be trans. There was nothing that he could think of that would make him think so. Surely, other guys had to have these sorts of identity crises from time to time. Like everyone probably wanted to be a chick just because they seem so much happier with their lives.

Felix sank towards the sidewalk, realizing that his legs were doing a rather poor job of supporting him at this point. He groaned as he grabbed his legs and pulled them in against his chest, nearly going fetal. There were tears in his eyes, licking at them and threatening to spill over if even one more thought entered his tormented mind. Everything was just so fucking loud.

``Why did they need to come back?'' he asked himself.

Everything was so much simpler when he didn't know that Flowey was like that. Life had been so much easier when he didn't know how much happier she had become. How much happier he could be if he were to...

Another car drove by and Felix felt that twitch, that urge to leap in front of it. It wasn't like his life was worth very much anyways. He was a dude with an identity crisis, a nicotine addiction, and who maybe had a couple thousand dollars to his name, if that. Barely a degree better than a fucking NEET at this point.

Felix heard footsteps and looked to his side.

Well well well... if it isn't the girl of the hour.

``Hey,'' Flowey called, waving at him. ``Are you okay?''

She was dressed in a pair of jeans and a hoodie, bundled up against the chilly spring air. Her cane clicked as she made her way over with a bag hanging from her other powerful arm.

It was strange how familiar, yet foreign, she felt. Felix could still clock her as his friend but also, she was so much more than that, so much better than Asriel could've ever hoped to be. This was a better person, through and through.

It made Felix envious. It made him mad. It made him sad. It made him feel so many different emotions all at once, the collective sensation of them burning at his brain and threatening to send him crashing into yet another destructive spiral.

``Just peachy,'' Felix grumbled.

Flowey came over and placed her cane against the wall. She then, ever so carefully, started to settle down, wincing as she tried to adopt a similar position to himself. She shrugged off her bag and reached inside, pulling out two bottles of Lech, offering one of them to him.

Felix scoffed and took it, twisting off the top. Flowey looked unsure of herself but mimicked him by doing the same.

``Didn't realize you drank beer,'' Felix said.

Flowey took a sip and cringed. ``I don't.''

Felix snickered and held up the bottle. Something which Flowey also did as they tapped the necks of them against one another. ``What's the occasion?''

``To seeing an old friend,'' Flowey said, reaching out and patting him on the leg. ``How are you doing, Felix?''

Felix sighed and took a sip of his beer. ``Not great.'' He looked down at his lap. ``If I can be completely honest with you.''

Flowey nodded. ``I'm sorry that I never told you about...'' She gestured to herself, moving her hand along the length of her still foreign body. ``About this.''

Felix wanted to say that it was okay but that would've been a lie. It didn't feel okay in the slightest.

``You are one of my best friends,'' Flowey then said, shaking her head. ``But I was so scared that you were going to hold it against me.''

Felix frowned. ``What?''

``Well, we were a squad back in high school,'' Flowey said, attempting another tiny tip of beer. She didn't cringe nearly as hard this time around though her sip was still so very small, more playacting than anything approaching genuine drinking. ``We used to go to parties together and act as one another's wingman while picking up chicks. I... I don't know... I thought you'd hate me for taking away your best friend.''

Felix chuckled. ``Fuck.'' He shook his head. ``Thought never crossed my mind.''

``I can see that now,'' Flowey said.

``What I do feel is hurt,'' Felix said, pointing the bottle at Flowey and gesturing towards her with the neck of it. ``Feels like I've missed a huge chunk of your life. Like you guys are barely online anymore.'' He shook his head. ``It feels pretty bad to just be this stranger in the friend group. Feels like I'm barely even a part of it anymore. You come to town totally different people and even have a new friend that I've never heard about before. It hurts, bro... dude... sis?''

Flowey nodded and looked down at her hands.

``But also, what did I honestly expect?'' Felix followed up. He didn't want to put his whole heart out there but it was pretty hard not to at this point. It felt appropriate to lay all his cards out on the table. ``I kind of just stayed stuck in place dealing with the stuff I've been dealing with for the past two years. If I wanted to be a part of your life then I'd finally get my shit sorted and move into the city before it's too late.''

``It'll never be too late,'' Flowey tried, squeezing his legs.

The two of them went silent, Felix sipping his beer while Flowey did the same, though far more apprehensively. It felt like there was something else waiting, an elephant in the room that was just eyeing up an opportunity to stampede and disrupt this tender moment.

``Felix,'' Flowey tried. ``Are you trans?''

Felix blinked. ``What?''

``I just...'' Flowey sighed. ``This is going to sound weird but you remind me a lot of myself when I was trying to find my way out of the closet.'' She rubbed at her arm. ``And like... I don't want to make assumptions but...'' She motioned vaguely through the air as if hoping it would make the question make sense. ``I thought that I'd ask.''

Felix reminded her of herself?

He wanted to laugh. It felt surreal. There was no way that she knew what this was like. She probably knew from puberty that something was wrong and needed to be fixed.

``Didn't you know years ago?'' Felix asked.

Flowey shrugged. ``I mean on some level but it took a lot of talking to Dess to really sort out my feelings and give them some sort of concrete label. For the longest time I thought that I was stupid and it was just some weird fetish that I couldn't get out of my brain.''

Felix's eyes widened.

``And I don't want to make assumptions but the way that you've been looking at me either means that you want to fuck me or be me,'' Flowey added, offering a crooked smile. ``Or both, I suppose. Though I think if it was just the former then you'd ask.''

Felix was stunned silent, blinking. It was strange to hear that said out loud. Yet, he slowly came to terms with what she was saying, snickering and then cackling, burying his face into his hands to try and hide his mirth. It felt good to just let his feelings out, belting out laughter like some sort of anime villain who had just overcome his foe.

Maybe he was a girl. Maybe he could transition.

``Felix?'' Flowey asked.

Felix sniffled and wiped at his eyes. ``Sorry, I just...'' He shook his head. ``You have no idea how weird it is to hear you say that.''

Flowey chuckled and shook her head. ``Fair enough.'' She slid a little closer to him and draped an arm over his shoulders, pulling him in close. ``Plus, you also do a lot of the things I used to do. The way you dress at the beach and the games you play. I see a lot of me in you.''

``Dude that's gay,'' Felix teased.

Flowey scoffed. ``Only if you're a girl.''

Felix realized that he was shivering, seeing the useless husk of a cigarette clenched between his fingers. He reached for his pack but then remembered that this one was the last of his current supply. And he likely wouldn't be able to get another until Sans opened his shop in the morning.

Thankfully, Flowey came in clutch, pulling out a yellow pack of smokes. She flipped it open and Felix grabbed one from the few that were left, placing it between his lips.

``Didn't realize you smoked,'' Felix said.

Flowey chuckled and tossed the pack into his lap. ``They're Dess'. Angel knows that she can afford to lose a few.''

Felix lit the tip and inhaled, cringing when there was no minty flavour to them. ``Fuck... why does she smoke regulars?''

Flowey shrugged.

Felix helped himself to a couple pulls, closing his eyes and leaning against his friend for support. Clearly, she didn't mind the smell, likely used to it on Dess. She stayed rooted in place, being so intimate and close. Honestly, it was kind of nice to get to share this moment with her.

``Where do I even start?'' Felix asked.

Flowey smirked. ``I'd recommend figuring out a name for yourself. Then after that talk to your friends. And after that? Well, I can put you in contact with a trans health specialist in the city. That is... if you want to go to college. If not, I'm sure that someone in Hometown knows what to do. Not like we're in the most reactionary place on Earth or anything.''

``It sounds scary,'' Felix whispered.

``It is,'' Flowey said. ``Which is why we should start slow and help you along as you need it. I just... I don't like seeing you suffer, man.''

``I don't like seeing me suffer either,'' Felix whispered. He helped himself to another sip of beer. ``Are you happier now?''

``Much,'' Flowey replied.

``Will I be happier too?'' Felix asked.

Flowey squeezed him tight. ``I hope so.'' She sighed. ``I miss you.''

``I miss you too,'' Felix whispered.

``So, any thoughts on a name?'' Flowey asked.

Felix pondered it for a moment, tapping a finger against his chin. There were a few that he had considered in the past... probably more proof that he might actually be trans as picking out girl names didn't seem like the most cis thing in the world.

``I think I have something in mind,'' he whispered.

Flowey nodded. ``Well, what did you have in mind?''

", "pools_count": 1, "title": "To the Friends We've Left Behind - Chapter Five", "deleted": "f", "public": "t", "mimetype": "application/msword", "pagecount": "1", "rating_id": "1", "rating_name": "Mature", "ratings": [ { "content_tag_id": "2", "name": "Nudity", "description": "Nonsexual nudity exposing breasts or genitals (must not show arousal)", "rating_id": "1" } ], "submission_type_id": "12", "type_name": "Writing - Document", "guest_block": "f", "friends_only": "f", "comments_count": "0", "views": "42" }