Friday. Sam was ready to quit just because of what happened the night before. Fortunately, Simon, the manager, was at the casino, showing off his impressive chemin-de-fer skills. He was on a roll. At the sight of Sam, Simon decided to pass the shoe and talk with him. 
"Hi, Sam. What's the problem?"
"I don't have a problem, I have fuckin' problems! Plural. Wanna hear, Simon?"
"Sure."
"Well, Monday, my first day, I was given the task of delivering a cake to a birthday party in the ballroom. I didn't know whose birthday it was, but I assumed it was a birthday party because everyone was in their birthday suits."
"Oh, I forgot to tell you. The resort is clothing-optional."
"Yeah, thanks for the heads up. Anyway, I tripped into a closet there and had 20 years erased from my age."
"That doesn't sound like a problem."
"Actually, it wasn't. The cake turned out to have a MILF hiding inside, I got my first taste of breastmilk in God knows how long, and I even played with one of the guests. Overall, it was a good experience, but still, quite an odd way to start off my first week on the job."
"True. Anything else?"
"Well, on Tuesday, in another room, some crazy psycho maniac sticks a gun in my face and forces me to confess to having sex with his wife."
"He made you have sex with his wife?"
"He thought I did! He held me at gunpoint with a loaded pistol, the kind James Bond uses!"
"A Walther PPK? Sounds horrifying."
"Damn straight, it was! Wednesday was somewhat better. A weasel couple invited me to their room to monitor a sorcerical ritual."
"'Sorcerical'? They were wizards?"
"Yes."
"Like Harry Potter or like Merlin the--?"
"The former. Most recently, yesterday, there's room 161. A scary buck dude pokin' his finger in my chest, his hooligan pets making noises at me, a detached cock and balls in the bedside drawer, rooms blazing afire... a needle from God knows where stuck in my leg, infecting me with God knows what, and finally, me walking out the fuckin' door right now! Buenas noches."
"Now, wait just a minute! I know you're freaked, I know you're stressed. You've had a real bad week--"
"Yes, I've had a real bad week. Alexander's terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day was just one day, nothing compared to my week--"
"Did you say that you found a man's severed genitals?"
"Yes, I did."
"No problem, this is a hotel, we've had detached genitals, male and female, before, it's just the price of doing business. You said the hotel was on fire. Is it still on fire?"
"No, it's out."
"Good, sprinkler system worked like a charm. Now, you wanna leave, you've had enough. Perfectly understandable. But can't you stay on board for just one more night?"
"No. I want to get off the hook now!"
Simon got out six $20 bills. "I'll bump your payday up." 
The sound of an early payday was music to Sam's ears. He swiped the $120 from Simon's hand and returned to the desk. By coincidence, the phone was ringing. "Room service."