Room 63 - Strange Brew


Wednesday. Sam was sitting at the desk, calm as ever. The phone rings. "Room service."
"Yes," responds a weasel in a turtleneck and khakis. "Would you mind getting us a few things from the kitchen?"
"Not at all. What do you need?" 
"Here's what we need: fresh rosemary, a little bit of sea salt or Kosher salt if you don't have sea salt. A bottle of spring water -- Italian please, not that French shit. And some ginger, the eyes of a trout fish, and a piece of raw meat, preferably liver. The rest of the ingredient s we brought ourselves."
"Okay." Sam has scribbled down the items as the weasel speaks. Sam looks at this list and walks to the kitchen. Four minutes later, he approaches room 63 with the items and opens the door. Inside the room are the weasel and his wife, another weasel, in a tight-fitting tie-dye leotard and leg warmers. "Here's the things you asked for. Oh, and uhh, sorry, but I don't know how to pick the eyes outta this dead fish." The male weasel, named Mars, picks up the trout, flings the eyes into a Jacuzzi in the corner, and sets the trout aside. The female weasel, named Venus, tosses the other supplies into the Jacuzzi. "Okay, here's your fifty-dollar tip," said Mars. "Only, would you care to stay with us a little longer?"
"I guess I could stay..." Sam muttered, hesitantly.
"Okay. My name is Mars, and my wife's name is Venus. We are part of a sorcerical cult, and we've been trying, for five years, to perfect a ritual that will undo a curse put on our leader, Jupiter." Venus points to a big rock in the corner. "This was him," she said. "It was on this night that he was cursed. A jealous rival snuck in and turned Jupiter into this old rock." 
"The beautiful girl he was dating turned into a green snake. Management found her slithering all over her husband; a stone in his no-tell room." Mars shows Sam an old photo of an elephant in a sorcerer's robe. "This was Jupiter." 
"Wait a sec -- that rock was gonna turn back into this?"
"Yes."
"Now, that would be something worth seeing!"
"It's all part of the plan," said Venus. "We want you to check on the rock and tell us if our ritual is working, while we make love on the bed." 
Sam was confused. "I don't get it. If you two yiff to turn that rock back into an elephant, why did you need all these things?"
"The sex activates their power."
"Speaking of which," Mars interrupted. "We would like you to prep us for the ritual."
"I can't. It's hotel policy: no sex with the guests." 
"Who said you had to have sex with us?" retorted Mars. "We want you to prepare us. That is, sexually pet us." That was another story. Sam started into the weasels' pants. He rubs their genitals for thirty seconds. "Okay, that's good," said Mars. "If we climax early, it won't work."
"Oh, sorry," Sam mumbled. The weasels got naked and began their "dance." Sam watched in excitement as the weasels lay on the bed and thrusted their hips in unison. The Jacuzzi begins to bubble and boil. Sam suddenly notices a crack in the elephant-shaped rock. "It's working!" he shouts to the weasels. "Keep going!" The weasels' moans heighten; the potion bubbles over, the crack on the rock gets bigger. When Mars and Venus reached orgasm, the rock crumbles piece by piece with each spasm until the elephant sorcerer, Jupiter, rises from the Jacuzzi. A green snake slithers out. Just like Sam said, it was something worth seeing. The weasels approach Jupiter with bows of worship. Sam slowly walks toward the door and takes one last look at the strange couple at rest and the strong elephant figure in the corner of the room before closing the door behind him.