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"description": "Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia. 1980. [color=blue]Juan[/color] watches [color=purple]Rosa[/color] use a rather surprising method to interrogate a pawn shop owner about one of his customers. ",
"description_bbcode_parsed": "Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia. 1980. Juan watches Rosa use a rather surprising method to interrogate a pawn shop owner about one of his customers. ",
"writing": "Juan walks into a pawn shop. Inside, a penguin, Bernard Zimmerman, is sorting through some bootleg Betamax tapes.\n\n\"Oh, Juan el Ratón. Excuse my behavior. I was going to report these but I got a little sidetracked.\"\n[color=blue]\"Well, last I've heard, Bern, you have a clear taste in sellers of pirated Betas, among other stuff.\"[/color]\n\"If it's about my non-dolphin-safe tuna habit, I kicked it, if you didn't already get the memo.\"\n[color=blue]\"I'm talking about who you bought them from, smart-alec.\"[/color]\n\"Oh, come on. You know that all my customers prefer to stay anonymous.\"\n\nRosa walks in.\n\n[color=purple]\"Do you, by any chance, have the directory?\"[/color]\n\"Oh, hey, Rosa.\" \n[color=purple]\"If you do, why don't you show it to us?\"[/color]\n\"I sold that thing years ago.\"\n[color=purple]\"Are you lying to me, Bern? You know I hate it when you lie.\"[/color]\n\"You're not my mom, she was killed in a car crash when I was in college.\"\n[color=purple]\"Of course not. Your mom couldn't do this as discipline.\"[/color]\n\nRosa gets behind Bern's kiosk, gets on her knees, unzips Bern's jeans and puls out a ten-inch manhood, which she slowly suckles. Juan watches.\n\n[color=purple]\"You have five seconds.\"[/color]\n[color=blue]\"She's brown-nosing you. That should be me sucking your cock. I don't get that way when I'm in heat.\"[/color]\n\"She's always this way. Seriously. Just because she's a married mother doesn't mean she has to get preheat syndrome every--\"\n\nBern is interrupted by a loud crunching noise, followed by the sound of Rosa swallowing his now-severed penis. Juan pulls her away.\n\n[color=blue]\"Where's your respect for the male sex?\"[/color]\n[color=purple]\"I warned him.\"[/color]\n[color=blue]\"Where's your respect?\"[/color]\n[color=purple]\"[i]You[/i] warned him.\"[/color]\n[color=blue]\"You shouldn't do that.\"[/color]\n\"You insensitive BITCH!\"\n\nJuan and Rosa watch in surprise and astonishment as Bern's manhood regrows.\n\n\"You obviously have no idea how much that [b]smarts[/b]!\"\n[color=purple]\"You better show us the directory before you lose another penis.\"[/color]\n\nBern turns a knob beind his kiosk. Part of the floor gives way to a rising column, on top of which is an enormous dark red book titled, \"The Official FUEL Directory, Sixth Edition.\" Juan and Rosa look through it, amazed by how every member is included. They stop at one entry. The mugshot is that of a male chimpanzee with strawberry-blonde hair, bondi blue eyes, and a whelpmark above his right eyebrow. Juan goes to a pay phone and calls Stephen Howler. \n\n[color=blue]\"Hello, Howler? We've found our furson. Alex Bronson Moloy. Convicted of 23 crimes of 17 different types. Was originally sentenced to execution by firing squad, but the bullets failed to kill him. He was then given seven years in jail, but he escaped. Currently, he is in hiding in southern Israel, as he is on the most-wanted list of all Ten Commanders.\"[/color]\n[color=orange]\"Israel? Well, I'd better arrange a meeting with your Israeli associate, Noah Naor in Jerusalem.\"[/color]\n[color=blue]\"Okay.\"[/color]\n\nJuan hangs up. \n\n[color=purple]\"How much for it?\"[/color]\n\"The directory? You can take that thing and dash out the door, just don't bite my pizzle off again!\"\n\nShe and Juan leave with the directory.\n\n[color=purple]\"The information in this better be relevant, or I'll bite you where it [i]doesn't[/i] grow back.\"[/color]\n[color=blue]\"Yeah. Also, I'll be back to talk about those Betas.\"[/color]",
"writing_bbcode_parsed": "Juan walks into a pawn shop. Inside, a penguin, Bernard Zimmerman, is sorting through some bootleg Betamax tapes.
"Oh, Juan el Ratón. Excuse my behavior. I was going to report these but I got a little sidetracked."
"Well, last I've heard, Bern, you have a clear taste in sellers of pirated Betas, among other stuff."
"If it's about my non-dolphin-safe tuna habit, I kicked it, if you didn't already get the memo."
"I'm talking about who you bought them from, smart-alec."
"Oh, come on. You know that all my customers prefer to stay anonymous."
Rosa walks in.
"Do you, by any chance, have the directory?"
"Oh, hey, Rosa."
"If you do, why don't you show it to us?"
"I sold that thing years ago."
"Are you lying to me, Bern? You know I hate it when you lie."
"You're not my mom, she was killed in a car crash when I was in college."
"Of course not. Your mom couldn't do this as discipline."
Rosa gets behind Bern's kiosk, gets on her knees, unzips Bern's jeans and puls out a ten-inch manhood, which she slowly suckles. Juan watches.
"You have five seconds."
"She's brown-nosing you. That should be me sucking your cock. I don't get that way when I'm in heat."
"She's always this way. Seriously. Just because she's a married mother doesn't mean she has to get preheat syndrome every--"
Bern is interrupted by a loud crunching noise, followed by the sound of Rosa swallowing his now-severed penis. Juan pulls her away.
"Where's your respect for the male sex?"
"I warned him."
"Where's your respect?"
"You warned him."
"You shouldn't do that."
"You insensitive BITCH!"
Juan and Rosa watch in surprise and astonishment as Bern's manhood regrows.
"You obviously have no idea how much that smarts!"
"You better show us the directory before you lose another penis."
Bern turns a knob beind his kiosk. Part of the floor gives way to a rising column, on top of which is an enormous dark red book titled, "The Official FUEL Directory, Sixth Edition." Juan and Rosa look through it, amazed by how every member is included. They stop at one entry. The mugshot is that of a male chimpanzee with strawberry-blonde hair, bondi blue eyes, and a whelpmark above his right eyebrow. Juan goes to a pay phone and calls Stephen Howler.
"Hello, Howler? We've found our furson. Alex Bronson Moloy. Convicted of 23 crimes of 17 different types. Was originally sentenced to execution by firing squad, but the bullets failed to kill him. He was then given seven years in jail, but he escaped. Currently, he is in hiding in southern Israel, as he is on the most-wanted list of all Ten Commanders."
"Israel? Well, I'd better arrange a meeting with your Israeli associate, Noah Naor in Jerusalem."
"Okay."
Juan hangs up.
"How much for it?"
"The directory? You can take that thing and dash out the door, just don't bite my pizzle off again!"
She and Juan leave with the directory.
"The information in this better be relevant, or I'll bite you where it doesn't grow back."
"Yeah. Also, I'll be back to talk about those Betas."",
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