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"description": "Ten hours of The Canterbury Tales have got me thinking in rhyme. Blame Chaucer for this crime!",
"description_bbcode_parsed": "Ten hours of The Canterbury Tales have got me thinking in rhyme. Blame Chaucer for this crime!",
"writing": "The Rent Is Due\n\n(c) 2024 Jack Doe. All characters belong to their creator. Do not distribute without all copyright notices and disclaimers intact.\n\nWriting this story does not constitute endorsement of the events depicted herein by the author. Readers are explicitly discouraged from engaging in any activities that are illegal or harmful to themselves or others. \n\n------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------\n\nThere is a knock upon the wood.\n\nThe door reveals the landlord stood.\n\nThe rent is due, the lessee?s advised.\n\nBut he is poor; he can?t abide.\n\nAnd so, an alternate arrangement is devised.\n\nIn exchange for a daily ration of his semen, \n\nThis month?s rent will be forgiven.\n\nBut not for homelessness, he?d not agree.\n\nHis first deposit is due immediately.\n\nHis face is all a-blush, but the landlord is in a rush.\n\n\"Must the landlord watch?\" he asks.\n\nThe latter nods: to stave off faithless acts.\n\nLike eggs remit for his inspection,\n\nMayonnaise, too, his recollection.\n\nDiscomfited, the tenant upon reflection\n\nInquires about the manner of collection. \n\nThe landlord produces a jar.\n\nA quarter-cup is marked with a bar.\n\nHis eyes grow wide; there is no way to fill that up, \n\nAlthough he tried, not in a day, he?d top that cup. \n\nBut the landlord?s mien is firm and stern:\n\nHis lodgings all good tenants well must earn.\n\nIf he cannot produce it voluntarily,\n\n\"There are other ways,\" he hints - quite airily.\n\nDown to the basement he is led.\n\nHis stomach twists with fear and dread. \n\nAnd to a cross against the wall, his torso?s bound, straight and tall. \n\nAnd with the deftest of a flick, his pants are off; it?s quite the trick.\n\nFrom somewhere to the tenant?s side\n\nThe landlord bathes a probe, and when it?s dried,\n\nHe brings it near the tenant?s face:\n\nA stark reminder of his place.\n\n\"I?ll give you to the count of ten,\n\nAfter which I?ll lube this probe and then:\n\nI?ll push it into your back end.\n\nAfter that, a count of three\n\nTo see what all you?ll give to me.\n\nIf nothing from your cock flows hence,\n\nThe current starts: the pain immense.\n\nAnd so, the juice shall flow,\n\n?Till I?ve collected what I owe.\n\nAnd after that, you shall be free,\n\nUntil tomorrow?s due is owed to me.\n\nAlternatives I might propose:\n\nFind somewhere else to take repose,\n\nFor on the morrow if you?re not here,\n\nI?ll consider settled your arrears.\n\nBut be quite sure to take your things,\n\nLest I give them to my underlings.\"\n\nThen glancing at his watch, he grins and then\n\nSays to the tenant, \"Why, look, that?s ten.\"\n\nDespite the tenant?s begging cries,\n\nThe probe goes in between his thighs.\n\nAnd then upon the count of three,\n\nThe current flows so very painfully.\n\nThe tenant shrieks; his anguished voice-box trills.\n\nIt takes an hour ere the jar he fills.\n\nAnd now here comes the moral of this tale:\n\nUnless you?re rich or stallion (well and hale),\n\nAvoid this madman landlord, you wise male;\n\nAgainst his lust for semen, all things pale.\n\n",
"writing_bbcode_parsed": "The Rent Is Due
(c) 2024 Jack Doe. All characters belong to their creator. Do not distribute without all copyright notices and disclaimers intact.
Writing this story does not constitute endorsement of the events depicted herein by the author. Readers are explicitly discouraged from engaging in any activities that are illegal or harmful to themselves or others.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
There is a knock upon the wood.
The door reveals the landlord stood.
The rent is due, the lessee?s advised.
But he is poor; he can?t abide.
And so, an alternate arrangement is devised.
In exchange for a daily ration of his semen,
This month?s rent will be forgiven.
But not for homelessness, he?d not agree.
His first deposit is due immediately.
His face is all a-blush, but the landlord is in a rush.
"Must the landlord watch?" he asks.
The latter nods: to stave off faithless acts.
Like eggs remit for his inspection,
Mayonnaise, too, his recollection.
Discomfited, the tenant upon reflection
Inquires about the manner of collection.
The landlord produces a jar.
A quarter-cup is marked with a bar.
His eyes grow wide; there is no way to fill that up,
Although he tried, not in a day, he?d top that cup.
But the landlord?s mien is firm and stern:
His lodgings all good tenants well must earn.
If he cannot produce it voluntarily,
"There are other ways," he hints - quite airily.
Down to the basement he is led.
His stomach twists with fear and dread.
And to a cross against the wall, his torso?s bound, straight and tall.
And with the deftest of a flick, his pants are off; it?s quite the trick.
From somewhere to the tenant?s side
The landlord bathes a probe, and when it?s dried,
He brings it near the tenant?s face:
A stark reminder of his place.
"I?ll give you to the count of ten,
After which I?ll lube this probe and then:
I?ll push it into your back end.
After that, a count of three
To see what all you?ll give to me.
If nothing from your cock flows hence,
The current starts: the pain immense.
And so, the juice shall flow,
?Till I?ve collected what I owe.
And after that, you shall be free,
Until tomorrow?s due is owed to me.
Alternatives I might propose:
Find somewhere else to take repose,
For on the morrow if you?re not here,
I?ll consider settled your arrears.
But be quite sure to take your things,
Lest I give them to my underlings."
Then glancing at his watch, he grins and then
Says to the tenant, "Why, look, that?s ten."
Despite the tenant?s begging cries,
The probe goes in between his thighs.
And then upon the count of three,
The current flows so very painfully.
The tenant shrieks; his anguished voice-box trills.
It takes an hour ere the jar he fills.
And now here comes the moral of this tale:
Unless you?re rich or stallion (well and hale),
Avoid this madman landlord, you wise male;
Against his lust for semen, all things pale.
",
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