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No money being made.\nWord Count part 18: 3,738 multi-chapter 2k3\nSummary: Donatello is known as the 'go-to Turtle', the guy who can fix all sorts of things. His role in the family takes an unexpected turn when his brothers decide to expand on his job description.\nRatings per chapter vary - R to NC-17\n~~This amazing preview image was created by the incomparable @Sherenelle \n \n\n!!~~Winner in the Universal TMNT Fanfiction Competition 2016: (Erotica Ballot) Sexiest Donatello 1st Place; Most Turtle-Tastic T-Cest 1st Place ", "description_bbcode_parsed": "Disclaimer: The TMNT are not mine. No money being made.
Word Count part 18: 3,738 multi-chapter 2k3
Summary: Donatello is known as the 'go-to Turtle', the guy who can fix all sorts of things.  His role in the family takes an unexpected turn when his brothers decide to expand on his job description.
Ratings per chapter vary - R to NC-17
~~This amazing preview image was created by the incomparable @Sherenelle  
 

!!~~Winner in the Universal TMNT Fanfiction Competition 2016: (Erotica Ballot) Sexiest Donatello 1st Place; Most Turtle-Tastic T-Cest 1st Place ", "writing": "\tIt took expert stitching and nimble fingers to close the wound on Raph’s arm. The job was messy and Raph bled freely until Don managed to pull the sliced top layer of skin together after first making repairs to the interior layer of the cut.\n\n\tThe blood loss meant that Raph had to have a transfusion and Don was thankful that he always banked some of their own blood for such an occasion. Though Don offered a sedative and then pain medication, Raph stubbornly declined both.\n\n\tLeo refused to leave Raph’s side during the entire ordeal. Standing on the opposite side of the exam table from where Don worked, Leo held onto Raph’s hand. It was one of the greatest shows of caring and affection that Don had seen between those two since the time Leo had almost been killed by the Shredder and Raph had cried.\n\n\tWhen Don finished the stitching and removed the intravenous line for the transfusion from Raph’s arm, he washed his hands and then dug out some material that he could use to make a sling.\n\n\t“What’s that for?” Raph asked with a frown as Don approached the table.\n\n\t“It’s exactly what it looks like it’s for,” Don answered. “You’re going to wear this sling and keep that arm as immobile as possible.”\n\n\t“Ya’ sewed me up and plastered my arm with bandages, why do I need a sling too?” Raph asked, sounding grumpy.\n\n\t“Because I said you do,” Don snapped. “For once, do what I ask without arguing with me.”\n\n\tRaph’s mouth dropped open and even Leo stared at Don with a stunned expression. Mikey, who was across the room to stay out of the way, said, “It’s okay Donny. He’ll do it, complaining is just a reflex reaction with Raph.”\n\n\tDon pressed his lips together in a tight line, trying to contain his rising anger. Master Splinter hadn’t allowed him to stop the fight that had resulted in Raph’s being injured, but Don had certainly gotten to mop up afterwards, as usual. Why did no one seem to understand how much pressure he felt at being the one who was always expected to fix everything?\n\n\t“Sit up so I can tie this in place,” Don said, sliding a hand under Raph’s carapace. “Go slow.”\n\n\tOn the opposite side, Leo leaned in to help, pushing up on Raph until his brother was in a seated position. Raph grunted and swayed a little, closing his eyes while he waited for the room to stop spinning. Leo maintained his hold on Raph, letting his brother know he could lean on him if he needed to.\n\n\tDon gently tied the sling around the opposite side of Raph’s neck and then gingerly lifted his brother’s arm into it. A quick adjustment moved Raph’s arm to the correct height and then Don stepped back and crossed his arms.\n\n\tThere were things he wanted to say, but it was all jumbled in his head. The anger and frustration he was feeling didn’t help, those emotions just clouded the issue.\n\n\t“Do you need for Raph to sleep in here?” Leo asked softly, directing his question to Don.\n\n\t“I don’t want to,” Raph cut in. “Why do I need to? My hammock’s more comfortable than a cot.”\n\n\t“The cot doesn’t require as much effort to get in and out of,” Don said shortly.\n\n\t“Don’t be stubborn,” Leo said, placing his hand on Raph’s shoulder. “I’ll stay with you.”\n\n\t“Don’t need a babysitter either,” Raph grumbled.\n\n\t“I never said you did. Have you ever considered the possibility that I might feel guilty about nearly slicing your arm off?” Leo asked. “It would make me rest easier if I could stay near you for a while.”\n\n\t“At least until ya’ pack up and move out of the lair, right Leo?” Raph asked, giving his brother a hard look.\n\n\t“What else would you have me do? Master Splinter has already pulled me aside to talk to me about my inability to control my jealousy. He wanted to know what I was going to do if the three of you refused to split up; if I was going to shut myself off from you or find somewhere else to live so that I wouldn’t have to see your relationship,” Leo said heatedly.\n\n\t“A relationship ya’ refuse to be a part of ‘cause ya’ want Donny all to yourself,” Raph said.\n\n\t“Or maybe he was thinking that Donny would move out with him,” Mikey said, remaining in his spot against the wall.\n\n\t“It’s time for ya’ to be honest with us, Leo. I told ya’ that I’d give Donny up if you’d stay here with us and I meant it. Is that what ya’ want?” Raph asked.\n\n\t“I want not to think that you purposely made a move on Don just to get back at me!” Leo exclaimed. He took a deep breath to calm himself. “I know you said you didn’t. This is me being honest about it. When you did that, I knew it was too late to tell Don how I felt about him. I didn’t want to give you the satisfaction of rubbing your relationship in my face. I preferred to behave as though I didn’t want to be with Don. When you forced my hand and made me admit I cared for him that way, it seemed that the only option I had left in order to save face was to move.”\n\n\t“Pride dude. That’s supposed to be the worst sin of all,” Mikey said.\n\n\tRaph frowned at Leo. “Ya’ really think I’m petty enough to use my own brother to get back at ya’ for something? Hell, if I wanna show ya’ I’m mad, I’ll punch ya’ in the mouth. I don’t do that sneaky backstabbing crap. Ya’ outta know me better.”\n\n\tA part of Don was glad that his brothers were talking their differences through, but a larger part of him felt as though they’d forgotten he was his own person. The whole conversation seemed as though they were arguing over a possession, rather than a brother with feelings of his own.\n\n\tAll of it, everything they’d gone through; it all felt surreal. Had Donatello really lost that much control over his own life that he needed his brothers to make decisions for him on who he was meant to be with?\n\n\tIt would be so much easier if he could go back in time and just tell Raph ‘no’.\n\n\t“Maybe if you’d been that forthcoming in the first place, I wouldn’t have thought you were using Don to get at me,” Leo told Raph. “That ambush . . . it seems like it changed a lot of things for us. I should have realized . . . . “\n\n\t“Stop right there,” Raph interrupted. “I know I’ve been throwing that ambush in your face, but not once have I really thought that was your fault. Not once, Leo. Ya’ know damn well I get frustrated when I think Shredder believes he got one over on us. I get this mental image of his fucking smug expression and all I want to do is get paybacks.”\n\n\t“Did you ever stop to think that I might believe you going after Don was your way of getting paybacks on me?” Leo asked.\n\n\tRaph made an annoyed sound in the back of his throat. “This is ridiculous. Ya’ want to be with Don, then be with him. What does it matter that he’s been with us? Ya’ already said ya’ love all of us. Well, so can Donny.”\n\n\tFor a moment Leo said nothing, seeming to fight with some internal emotion. Don waited, wanting to hear the entire discussion because he was fed up with his brothers talking about him behind his back. Leo and Raph needed to work this through without coming to blows, though that’s what it had taken to get them to open up to each other. \n\n\tMaster Splinter had been right not to stop them. He’d told Don that they had chosen to behave as adults and everything that happened because of that were consequences that they had to deal with. He hadn’t even gone to the infirmary with them. Don knew his father loved them and had a deep concern for them. As a father he had an obligation to teach them how to solve their own problems. This situation seemed to be the line that Master Splinter had decided to draw in the sand. He wasn’t going to interfere nor make any of this easy on them.\n\n\t“I have to find a way to overcome my jealousy, or at least to contain it,” Leo eventually said. “I don’t want to move away from you guys, we’re stronger when we’re all together. I don’t want to take Donny away from you either. I know he gives you and Mikey something you need. Maybe if I could . . . see you with him, it would help me understand.”\n\n\tLooking up at Don, Leo said, “Kiss Raph. Kiss him the way you do when the two of you are alone.”\n\n\tNow it was Don’s turn to stare. Having sex in private was one thing, but now they expected an exhibition from him?\n\n\tHe’d had enough. The anger and resentment Don had been feeling finally boiled over. “I have had it!” Don shouted, startling his brothers. “I love you guys, but I’m tired of everyone telling me what to do and pulling me in several directions at once!”\n\n\tThere were probably a hundred more words he could have thrown at them, but there didn’t seem a point. That was just another thing that aggravated him; how often over the last couple of weeks he’d been the one trying to explain things enough to satisfy everyone else’s ego. What Don wanted most was to be left alone.\n\n\tWithout another word, Don stormed out of the infirmary. He didn’t care whether Raph heeded his warnings regarding the care of his arm or not. He didn’t give a damn if Leo got pissed at him for not following an ‘order’. How dare he issue that sort of command to Don anyway?\n\n\tBefore Don made it to the stairs, Master Splinter appeared out of the shadows in front of him. Don came to a quick stop, his heart pounding and the color high in his cheeks. He resisted the urge to just push past his father but didn’t try to hide the fact that he was in a high bad humor.\n\n\t“How is Raphael’s arm?” Master Splinter asked, his tone mild.\n\n\tDon’s lips quivered as he fought back an angry retort, managing to keep his voice calm as he answered, “There was no lasting damage. He can’t use it for a while.”\n\n\tMaster Splinter nodded, looking at Don knowingly. “I know you are angry, my son. Please remember this; there is such a thing as vulnerability. It is difficult for most of us to expose so much of ourselves to another person; it requires a level of trust that is hard to give. All three of your brothers are willing to be vulnerable to you. They trust you with that part of themselves, but they do not trust that part with each other. You should take that into consideration as you try to decide what your next step should be.”\n\n\tAfter delivering that somewhat cryptic piece of advice, Master Splinter turned around and walked to his room, entering without a backward glance and quietly shutting his door.\n\n\tWhatever message Master Splinter was trying to deliver, it wasn’t something that Don was in the mood to explore at the moment. He bounded upstairs quickly, but rather than going to his own room, he detoured to Michelangelo’s.\n\n\tDon did not want to talk to either Leo or Raph and didn’t want them following him to his room and trapping him there. So far, Mikey was that only one who wasn’t being overly pushy, wasn’t trying to make Don feel guilty about his choices, or engaging in a lot of in-fighting. He also had a feeling that Mikey was sensitive enough to understand what Don needed most and would leave him alone to think.\n\n\tIt was difficult to pace in Mikey’s room. His possessions were stacked on the floor; the various objects sorted into piles that probably had some significance to Mikey. Trying to maneuver between them while Don’s mind worried over his problems was next to impossible.\n\n\tGiving up, Don sat down on his brother’s surprisingly clean bed. A passing thought that is was probably kept that way because of him made Don rub at his forehead, trying to forestall a headache that he could already feel building.\n\n\tDon’s eyes fell idly on a nearby bookshelf and he got up to check the bindings. It had never occurred to him to wonder what Mikey liked to read, assuming that comic books were his younger brother’s sole foray into literature. He was surprised to find that Mikey had rather eclectic tastes in books, and that a copy of “Where the Wild Things Are” appeared to have been read a lot.\n\n\tTaking the book back with him to the bed, Don sat down to read. Though the book was short, the buried message about anger, fear, frustration, and jealousy, helped to calm him.\n\n\tIt also helped Don think. What his family was going through was growth and change. Wishing that things would stay the same wasn’t realistic; he didn’t really want his family to stagnate. They had, as Master Splinter wisely pointed out, chosen to engage in adult acts. Maybe they hadn’t taken the time with a slow buildup to that stage, but it was clear from Raph and Mikey’s and even Leo’s reactions that they were on a path they were eventually destined to take.\n\n\tDon was lying to himself if he tried to say he could easily slip back into what he used to be; the turtle who had no interest in sex, who never had carnal desires. He enjoyed those things with Raph and Mikey, but he longed for it with Leo.\n\n\tWanting something and making it come true were worlds apart, at least as far as his need for Leonardo went. As long as Leo held onto the belief that he couldn’t defeat his own possessive jealousy, they were all at a stalemate.\n\n\tOne thing that Don was not going to do was put on a show for Leo with Raph. Leo would just have to think of another way to defeat his own inner demons.\n\n\tReplacing the book on the shelf, Don helped himself to another, and then got comfortable on Mikey’s bed to read.\n\n\tThere was a tap on the door a couple of hours later and then Mikey entered carrying a plate of food and a bottle of cold water.\n\n\t“You don’t have to knock on your own bedroom door,” Don said as he sat up.\n\n\tMikey offered him a shy smile and a small shrug as he set the plate and bottle on the nightstand. “I figured you came in here for the alone time you couldn’t get by going to your own room, so I wanted to give you some space.” He pointed at the food. “Hopefully starving wasn’t a part of your plan. I can leave again if you want.”\n\n\t“No, stay here and talk to me,” Don said as he picked up the plate. It contained a sort of homemade hash casserole of Mikey’s own design which was a personal favorite of Don’s.\n\n\tMikey sat down on the bed next to him and watched with appreciation as Don dug into his meal. “Let’s see. Leo got Raph onto a cot in the infirmary and took the one next to him. They were both sitting there talking like grown-ups when I left to make dinner. I brought food to them so that Raph wouldn’t move and after they ate Leo convinced him to lay down.”\n\n\t“So they’re getting along,” Don said, taking a swig of water.\n\n\t“At least for now,” Mikey said. “I don’t know if they figured anything out because the last time I put my two cents in, they ended up trying to kill each other.”\n\n\t“That was not your fault Mikey,” Don quickly said. “You should be able to say what you think without worrying over how it will affect one of us.”\n\n\t“I used to think that was true, but sex seems to make everyone super sensitive about stuff,” Mikey replied. “It makes me feel closer to you than ever, so I don’t get why everyone else has such hard feelings.”\n\n\t“You have to admit that even you were upset at the idea that Leo might be trying to put a stop to our having sex,” Don said, glancing sideways at his brother.\n\n\t“Well yeah,” Mikey said, as if the reasons were glaringly obvious. “Sex isn’t the problem, it’s all the extra baggage Leo keeps trying to pile on top. I love being with you but I don’t have heartburn over the idea that we aren’t going to bed with each other every night. Why should it bother me that you have sex with Raph too? I know he isn’t going to try to keep you all to himself. If you enjoy spending time with both of us, then we’ve got a perfect thing going.”\n\n\t“Except that Leo isn’t part of the equation,” Don said.\n\n\t“He could be. Nobody’s stopping Leo other than Leo himself. Raph’s doing the whole righteous act and saying he’ll give you up for Leo’s sake, but that’s just him trying to one-up Leo. Raph shouldn’t have to give you up and neither should I. Leo should come down from his high horse and see that it doesn’t hurt him or his relationship with you one bit by sharing,” Mikey said.\n\n\tDon set his plate down. “For once, I’d like to be the one to make the choice of what and how much I want to do. I’d like to make the decision on where we go from here.”\n\n\t“’Cause we kind of stormed over you, didn’t we?” Mikey asked astutely. “We moved so fast that we didn’t give you time to think. I guess we shouldn’t have done it that way. My only excuse is that our emotions were sort of raw at the time.”\n\n\t“I understand that, Mikey. I really do. Facing your own mortality makes you take stock of your life and all of the things you’ve never experienced. I’m past being upset over how this whole thing got started. I just want to find a way to restore balance to our family,” Don said.\n\n\t“You know, we don’t tell each other how we feel about stuff. Not really. Like, the important stuff. I think that’s something we’ve got to learn to do,” Mikey said. “I really love you, Donny. I’d do anything for you. From now on I’m not going to make any moves on you. If you want to do something with me, it’ll be all your decision.”\n\n\tDon felt a touch of dismay at hearing that, which surprised him. He took a second to sort out his emotions before speaking. “I don’t want us to be like that with each other, Mikey. I enjoy your spontaneity and playfulness. I’d miss it a lot. There’s no reason why we can’t just be who we are with each other and let things happen naturally.”\n\n\t“You won’t feel like I’m pressuring you?” Mikey asked.\n\n\t“I promise that from now on, I’ll speak up if I feel uncomfortable about anything we do,” Don said. “You have to make the same promise.”\n\n\tMikey grinned. “Okay, I do. Did you have something kinky in mind? ‘Cause I’m totally down with that.”\n\n\tDon couldn’t help but laugh. Mikey had such a gift for making everything easier.\n\n\tThe sound of someone tapping lightly on the door quickly changed the mood in the room. Mikey stood up, taking Don’s empty plate off the nightstand before walking to the door and opening it.\n\n\tLeo stood there looking slightly unsure of himself. “Would it be all right if I came in and talked to Donny?” he asked.\n\n\t“That’s up to Donny,” Mikey said. “I’m not his keeper, he’s just camping out in here.”\n\n\tMikey stepped back from the door and looked at Don, leaving it to him as to whether Leo would enter or have the door slammed in his face. Don knew that Mikey was capable of the latter, especially if he thought he needed to be protective. As nice as it was to have a self-appointed watch turtle, Don didn’t require safeguarding from his own brother.\n\n\t“What is Raph doing?” Don asked.\n\n\t“He’s sleeping. I got him to take a sedative,” Leo said.\n\n\tThough that had probably taken some effort on Leo’s part, he didn’t seem pleased with himself or as if he were looking for a pat on the back from Don. In fact, the only thing Don could read from his brother was a slightly pleading expression in his eyes and that he appeared contrite.\n\n\t“No pressure, Donny. The decision is yours,” Mikey said quietly, reminding him of what they’d talked about.\n\n\t“Let him in,” Don said.\n\n\tMoving aside, Mikey waved Leo over the threshold and gave him a hard stare. The warning was clear; Mikey had appointed himself watchdog over Don and was prepared to bite if necessary.\n\n\tIf Leo had come to unburden himself, or to at least apologize, he wouldn’t do it with Mikey within earshot.\n\n\t“Mikey, could you go down and sit with Raph?” Don asked. “I’m not comfortable with his being alone, even if he is asleep at the moment.”\n\n\tOne thing about Mikey, he was quick on the uptake. “Sure. Call if you need me. Should we have some sort of signal? Like, if this door is closed, I should stay out?”\n\n\t“I’ll come down to check on Raph myself later,” Don assured him.\n\n\t“No rush,” Mikey said as he headed out of the room. Turning to wink, he added, “If you soil the sheets, make sure to change them.”\n\n\tHe pulled the door shut behind him before Don had a chance to reply to that innuendo.\n\n\tLeft alone with his oldest brother, Donatello remained seated on the bed, waiting for Leo to make the first move.\n\nTBC……………\n\n", "writing_bbcode_parsed": "\tIt took expert stitching and nimble fingers to close the wound on Raph’s arm.  The job was messy and Raph bled freely until Don managed to pull the sliced top layer of skin together after first making repairs to the interior layer of the cut.

\tThe blood loss meant that Raph had to have a transfusion and Don was thankful that he always banked some of their own blood for such an occasion.  Though Don offered a sedative and then pain medication, Raph stubbornly declined both.

\tLeo refused to leave Raph’s side during the entire ordeal.  Standing on the opposite side of the exam table from where Don worked, Leo held onto Raph’s hand.  It was one of the greatest shows of caring and affection that Don had seen between those two since the time Leo had almost been killed by the Shredder and Raph had cried.

\tWhen Don finished the stitching and removed the intravenous line for the transfusion from Raph’s arm, he washed his hands and then dug out some material that he could use to make a sling.

\t“What’s that for?” Raph asked with a frown as Don approached the table.

\t“It’s exactly what it looks like it’s for,” Don answered.  “You’re going to wear this sling and keep that arm as immobile as possible.”

\t“Ya’ sewed me up and plastered my arm with bandages, why do I need a sling too?” Raph asked, sounding grumpy.

\t“Because I said you do,” Don snapped.  “For once, do what I ask without arguing with me.”

\tRaph’s mouth dropped open and even Leo stared at Don with a stunned expression.  Mikey, who was across the room to stay out of the way, said, “It’s okay Donny.  He’ll do it, complaining is just a reflex reaction with Raph.”

\tDon pressed his lips together in a tight line, trying to contain his rising anger.  Master Splinter hadn’t allowed him to stop the fight that had resulted in Raph’s being injured, but Don had certainly gotten to mop up afterwards, as usual.  Why did no one seem to understand how much pressure he felt at being the one who was always expected to fix everything?

\t“Sit up so I can tie this in place,” Don said, sliding a hand under Raph’s carapace.  “Go slow.”

\tOn the opposite side, Leo leaned in to help, pushing up on Raph until his brother was in a seated position.  Raph grunted and swayed a little, closing his eyes while he waited for the room to stop spinning.  Leo maintained his hold on Raph, letting his brother know he could lean on him if he needed to.

\tDon gently tied the sling around the opposite side of Raph’s neck and then gingerly lifted his brother’s arm into it.  A quick adjustment moved Raph’s arm to the correct height and then Don stepped back and crossed his arms.

\tThere were things he wanted to say, but it was all jumbled in his head.  The anger and frustration he was feeling didn’t help, those emotions just clouded the issue.

\t“Do you need for Raph to sleep in here?” Leo asked softly, directing his question to Don.

\t“I don’t want to,” Raph cut in.  “Why do I need to?  My hammock’s more comfortable than a cot.”

\t“The cot doesn’t require as much effort to get in and out of,” Don said shortly.

\t“Don’t be stubborn,” Leo said, placing his hand on Raph’s shoulder.  “I’ll stay with you.”

\t“Don’t need a babysitter either,” Raph grumbled.

\t“I never said you did.  Have you ever considered the possibility that I might feel guilty about nearly slicing your arm off?” Leo asked.  “It would make me rest easier if I could stay near you for a while.”

\t“At least until ya’ pack up and move out of the lair, right Leo?” Raph asked, giving his brother a hard look.

\t“What else would you have me do?  Master Splinter has already pulled me aside to talk to me about my inability to control my jealousy.  He wanted to know what I was going to do if the three of you refused to split up; if I was going to shut myself off from you or find somewhere else to live so that I wouldn’t have to see your relationship,” Leo said heatedly.

\t“A relationship ya’ refuse to be a part of ‘cause ya’ want Donny all to yourself,” Raph said.

\t“Or maybe he was thinking that Donny would move out with him,” Mikey said, remaining in his spot against the wall.

\t“It’s time for ya’ to be honest with us, Leo.  I told ya’ that I’d give Donny up if you’d stay here with us and I meant it.  Is that what ya’ want?” Raph asked.

\t“I want not to think that you purposely made a move on Don just to get back at me!” Leo exclaimed.  He took a deep breath to calm himself.  “I know you said you didn’t.  This is me being honest about it.  When you did that, I knew it was too late to tell Don how I felt about him.  I didn’t want to give you the satisfaction of rubbing your relationship in my face.  I preferred to behave as though I didn’t want to be with Don.  When you forced my hand and made me admit I cared for him that way, it seemed that the only option I had left in order to save face was to move.”

\t“Pride dude.  That’s supposed to be the worst sin of all,” Mikey said.

\tRaph frowned at Leo.  “Ya’ really think I’m petty enough to use my own brother to get back at ya’ for something?  Hell, if I wanna show ya’ I’m mad, I’ll punch ya’ in the mouth.  I don’t do that sneaky backstabbing crap.  Ya’ outta know me better.”

\tA part of Don was glad that his brothers were talking their differences through, but a larger part of him felt as though they’d forgotten he was his own person.  The whole conversation seemed as though they were arguing over a possession, rather than a brother with feelings of his own.

\tAll of it, everything they’d gone through; it all felt surreal.  Had Donatello really lost that much control over his own life that he needed his brothers to make decisions for him on who he was meant to be with?

\tIt would be so much easier if he could go back in time and just tell Raph ‘no’.

\t“Maybe if you’d been that forthcoming in the first place, I wouldn’t have thought you were using Don to get at me,” Leo told Raph.  “That ambush . . . it seems like it changed a lot of things for us.  I should have realized . . . . “

\t“Stop right there,” Raph interrupted.  “I know I’ve been throwing that ambush in your face, but not once have I really thought that was your fault.  Not once, Leo.  Ya’ know damn well I get frustrated when I think Shredder believes he got one over on us.  I get this mental image of his fucking smug expression and all I want to do is get paybacks.”

\t“Did you ever stop to think that I might believe you going after Don was your way of getting paybacks on me?” Leo asked.

\tRaph made an annoyed sound in the back of his throat.  “This is ridiculous.  Ya’ want to be with Don, then be with him.  What does it matter that he’s been with us?  Ya’ already said ya’ love all of us.  Well, so can Donny.”

\tFor a moment Leo said nothing, seeming to fight with some internal emotion.  Don waited, wanting to hear the entire discussion because he was fed up with his brothers talking about him behind his back.  Leo and Raph needed to work this through without coming to blows, though that’s what it had taken to get them to open up to each other.  

\tMaster Splinter had been right not to stop them.  He’d told Don that they had chosen to behave as adults and everything that happened because of that were consequences that they had to deal with.  He hadn’t even gone to the infirmary with them.  Don knew his father loved them and had a deep concern for them.  As a father he had an obligation to teach them how to solve their own problems.  This situation seemed to be the line that Master Splinter had decided to draw in the sand.  He wasn’t going to interfere nor make any of this easy on them.

\t“I have to find a way to overcome my jealousy, or at least to contain it,” Leo eventually said.  “I don’t want to move away from you guys, we’re stronger when we’re all together.  I don’t want to take Donny away from you either.  I know he gives you and Mikey something you need.  Maybe if I could . . . see you with him, it would help me understand.”

\tLooking up at Don, Leo said, “Kiss Raph.  Kiss him the way you do when the two of you are alone.”

\tNow it was Don’s turn to stare.  Having sex in private was one thing, but now they expected an exhibition from him?

\tHe’d had enough.  The anger and resentment Don had been feeling finally boiled over.  “I have had it!” Don shouted, startling his brothers.  “I love you guys, but I’m tired of everyone telling me what to do and pulling me in several directions at once!”

\tThere were probably a hundred more words he could have thrown at them, but there didn’t seem a point.  That was just another thing that aggravated him; how often over the last couple of weeks he’d been the one trying to explain things enough to satisfy everyone else’s ego.  What Don wanted most was to be left alone.

\tWithout another word, Don stormed out of the infirmary.  He didn’t care whether Raph heeded his warnings regarding the care of his arm or not.  He didn’t give a damn if Leo got pissed at him for not following an ‘order’.  How dare he issue that sort of command to Don anyway?

\tBefore Don made it to the stairs, Master Splinter appeared out of the shadows in front of him.  Don came to a quick stop, his heart pounding and the color high in his cheeks.  He resisted the urge to just push past his father but didn’t try to hide the fact that he was in a high bad humor.

\t“How is Raphael’s arm?” Master Splinter asked, his tone mild.

\tDon’s lips quivered as he fought back an angry retort, managing to keep his voice calm as he answered, “There was no lasting damage.  He can’t use it for a while.”

\tMaster Splinter nodded, looking at Don knowingly.  “I know you are angry, my son.  Please remember this; there is such a thing as vulnerability.  It is difficult for most of us to expose so much of ourselves to another person; it requires a level of trust that is hard to give.  All three of your brothers are willing to be vulnerable to you.  They trust you with that part of themselves, but they do not trust that part with each other.  You should take that into consideration as you try to decide what your next step should be.”

\tAfter delivering that somewhat cryptic piece of advice, Master Splinter turned around and walked to his room, entering without a backward glance and quietly shutting his door.

\tWhatever message Master Splinter was trying to deliver, it wasn’t something that Don was in the mood to explore at the moment.  He bounded upstairs quickly, but rather than going to his own room, he detoured to Michelangelo’s.

\tDon did not want to talk to either Leo or Raph and didn’t want them following him to his room and trapping him there.  So far, Mikey was that only one who wasn’t being overly pushy, wasn’t trying to make Don feel guilty about his choices, or engaging in a lot of in-fighting.  He also had a feeling that Mikey was sensitive enough to understand what Don needed most and would leave him alone to think.

\tIt was difficult to pace in Mikey’s room.  His possessions were stacked on the floor; the various objects sorted into piles that probably had some significance to Mikey.  Trying to maneuver between them while Don’s mind worried over his problems was next to impossible.

\tGiving up, Don sat down on his brother’s surprisingly clean bed.  A passing thought that is was probably kept that way because of him made Don rub at his forehead, trying to forestall a headache that he could already feel building.

\tDon’s eyes fell idly on a nearby bookshelf and he got up to check the bindings.  It had never occurred to him to wonder what Mikey liked to read, assuming that comic books were his younger brother’s sole foray into literature.  He was surprised to find that Mikey had rather eclectic tastes in books, and that a copy of “Where the Wild Things Are” appeared to have been read a lot.

\tTaking the book back with him to the bed, Don sat down to read.  Though the book was short, the buried message about anger, fear, frustration, and jealousy, helped to calm him.

\tIt also helped Don think.  What his family was going through was growth and change.  Wishing that things would stay the same wasn’t realistic; he didn’t really want his family to stagnate.  They had, as Master Splinter wisely pointed out, chosen to engage in adult acts.  Maybe they hadn’t taken the time with a slow buildup to that stage, but it was clear from Raph and Mikey’s and even Leo’s reactions that they were on a path they were eventually destined to take.

\tDon was lying to himself if he tried to say he could easily slip back into what he used to be; the turtle who had no interest in sex, who never had carnal desires.  He enjoyed those things with Raph and Mikey, but he longed for it with Leo.

\tWanting something and making it come true were worlds apart, at least as far as his need for Leonardo went.  As long as Leo held onto the belief that he couldn’t defeat his own possessive jealousy, they were all at a stalemate.

\tOne thing that Don was not going to do was put on a show for Leo with Raph.  Leo would just have to think of another way to defeat his own inner demons.

\tReplacing the book on the shelf, Don helped himself to another, and then got comfortable on Mikey’s bed to read.

\tThere was a tap on the door a couple of hours later and then Mikey entered carrying a plate of food and a bottle of cold water.

\t“You don’t have to knock on your own bedroom door,” Don said as he sat up.

\tMikey offered him a shy smile and a small shrug as he set the plate and bottle on the nightstand.  “I figured you came in here for the alone time you couldn’t get by going to your own room, so I wanted to give you some space.”  He pointed at the food.  “Hopefully starving wasn’t a part of your plan.  I can leave again if you want.”

\t“No, stay here and talk to me,” Don said as he picked up the plate.  It contained a sort of homemade hash casserole of Mikey’s own design which was a personal favorite of Don’s.

\tMikey sat down on the bed next to him and watched with appreciation as Don dug into his meal.  “Let’s see.  Leo got Raph onto a cot in the infirmary and took the one next to him.  They were both sitting there talking like grown-ups when I left to make dinner.  I brought food to them so that Raph wouldn’t move and after they ate Leo convinced him to lay down.”

\t“So they’re getting along,” Don said, taking a swig of water.

\t“At least for now,” Mikey said.  “I don’t know if they figured anything out because the last time I put my two cents in, they ended up trying to kill each other.”

\t“That was not your fault Mikey,” Don quickly said.  “You should be able to say what you think without worrying over how it will affect one of us.”

\t“I used to think that was true, but sex seems to make everyone super sensitive about stuff,” Mikey replied.  “It makes me feel closer to you than ever, so I don’t get why everyone else has such hard feelings.”

\t“You have to admit that even you were upset at the idea that Leo might be trying to put a stop to our having sex,” Don said, glancing sideways at his brother.

\t“Well yeah,” Mikey said, as if the reasons were glaringly obvious.  “Sex isn’t the problem, it’s all the extra baggage Leo keeps trying to pile on top.  I love being with you but I don’t have heartburn over the idea that we aren’t going to bed with each other every night.  Why should it bother me that you have sex with Raph too?  I know he isn’t going to try to keep you all to himself.  If you enjoy spending time with both of us, then we’ve got a perfect thing going.”

\t“Except that Leo isn’t part of the equation,” Don said.

\t“He could be.  Nobody’s stopping Leo other than Leo himself.  Raph’s doing the whole righteous act and saying he’ll give you up for Leo’s sake, but that’s just him trying to one-up Leo.  Raph shouldn’t have to give you up and neither should I.  Leo should come down from his high horse and see that it doesn’t hurt him or his relationship with you one bit by sharing,” Mikey said.

\tDon set his plate down.  “For once, I’d like to be the one to make the choice of what and how much I want to do.  I’d like to make the decision on where we go from here.”

\t“’Cause we kind of stormed over you, didn’t we?” Mikey asked astutely.  “We moved so fast that we didn’t give you time to think.  I guess we shouldn’t have done it that way.  My only excuse is that our emotions were sort of raw at the time.”

\t“I understand that, Mikey.  I really do.  Facing your own mortality makes you take stock of your life and all of the things you’ve never experienced.  I’m past being upset over how this whole thing got started.  I just want to find a way to restore balance to our family,” Don said.

\t“You know, we don’t tell each other how we feel about stuff.  Not really.  Like, the important stuff.  I think that’s something we’ve got to learn to do,” Mikey said.  “I really love you, Donny.  I’d do anything for you.  From now on I’m not going to make any moves on you.  If you want to do something with me, it’ll be all your decision.”

\tDon felt a touch of dismay at hearing that, which surprised him.  He took a second to sort out his emotions before speaking.  “I don’t want us to be like that with each other, Mikey.  I enjoy your spontaneity and playfulness.  I’d miss it a lot.  There’s no reason why we can’t just be who we are with each other and let things happen naturally.”

\t“You won’t feel like I’m pressuring you?” Mikey asked.

\t“I promise that from now on, I’ll speak up if I feel uncomfortable about anything we do,” Don said.  “You have to make the same promise.”

\tMikey grinned.  “Okay, I do.  Did you have something kinky in mind?  ‘Cause I’m totally down with that.”

\tDon couldn’t help but laugh.  Mikey had such a gift for making everything easier.

\tThe sound of someone tapping lightly on the door quickly changed the mood in the room.  Mikey stood up, taking Don’s empty plate off the nightstand before walking to the door and opening it.

\tLeo stood there looking slightly unsure of himself.  “Would it be all right if I came in and talked to Donny?” he asked.

\t“That’s up to Donny,” Mikey said.  “I’m not his keeper, he’s just camping out in here.”

\tMikey stepped back from the door and looked at Don, leaving it to him as to whether Leo would enter or have the door slammed in his face.  Don knew that Mikey was capable of the latter, especially if he thought he needed to be protective.  As nice as it was to have a self-appointed watch turtle, Don didn’t require safeguarding from his own brother.

\t“What is Raph doing?” Don asked.

\t“He’s sleeping.  I got him to take a sedative,” Leo said.

\tThough that had probably taken some effort on Leo’s part, he didn’t seem pleased with himself or as if he were looking for a pat on the back from Don.  In fact, the only thing Don could read from his brother was a slightly pleading expression in his eyes and that he appeared contrite.

\t“No pressure, Donny.  The decision is yours,” Mikey said quietly, reminding him of what they’d talked about.

\t“Let him in,” Don said.

\tMoving aside, Mikey waved Leo over the threshold and gave him a hard stare.  The warning was clear; Mikey had appointed himself watchdog over Don and was prepared to bite if necessary.

\tIf Leo had come to unburden himself, or to at least apologize, he wouldn’t do it with Mikey within earshot.

\t“Mikey, could you go down and sit with Raph?” Don asked.  “I’m not comfortable with his being alone, even if he is asleep at the moment.”

\tOne thing about Mikey, he was quick on the uptake.  “Sure.  Call if you need me.  Should we have some sort of signal?  Like, if this door is closed, I should stay out?”

\t“I’ll come down to check on Raph myself later,” Don assured him.

\t“No rush,” Mikey said as he headed out of the room.  Turning to wink, he added, “If you soil the sheets, make sure to change them.”

\tHe pulled the door shut behind him before Don had a chance to reply to that innuendo.

\tLeft alone with his oldest brother, Donatello remained seated on the bed, waiting for Leo to make the first move.

TBC……………

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