{ "submission_id": "1380457", "keywords": [ { "keyword_id": "3579", "keyword_name": "arousal", "contributed": "f", "submissions_count": "4226" }, { "keyword_id": "5352", "keyword_name": "desire", "contributed": "f", "submissions_count": "391" }, { "keyword_id": "4541", "keyword_name": "donatello", "contributed": "f", "submissions_count": "3554" }, { "keyword_id": "12340", "keyword_name": "jealousy", "contributed": "f", "submissions_count": "408" }, { "keyword_id": "78", "keyword_name": "kissing", "contributed": "f", "submissions_count": "23128" }, { "keyword_id": "208823", "keyword_name": "leo/don", "contributed": "f", "submissions_count": "67" }, { "keyword_id": "26978", "keyword_name": "leonardo", "contributed": "f", "submissions_count": "4178" }, { "keyword_id": "5244", "keyword_name": "males", "contributed": "f", "submissions_count": "43543" }, { "keyword_id": "3607", "keyword_name": "michelangelo", "contributed": "f", "submissions_count": "2938" }, { "keyword_id": "75542", "keyword_name": "ninja turtles", "contributed": "f", "submissions_count": "1480" }, { "keyword_id": "40552", "keyword_name": "possessive", "contributed": "f", "submissions_count": "115" }, { "keyword_id": "16233", "keyword_name": "raphael", "contributed": "f", "submissions_count": "4624" }, { "keyword_id": "81015", "keyword_name": "tcest", "contributed": "f", "submissions_count": "2318" }, { "keyword_id": "18653", "keyword_name": "teenage mutant ninja turtles", "contributed": "f", "submissions_count": "5800" }, { "keyword_id": "3606", "keyword_name": "tmnt", "contributed": "f", "submissions_count": "9250" }, { "keyword_id": "142377", "keyword_name": "tmnt2003", "contributed": "f", "submissions_count": "728" }, { "keyword_id": "232199", "keyword_name": "tmnt2k3", "contributed": "f", "submissions_count": "200" }, { "keyword_id": "2307", "keyword_name": "touching", "contributed": "f", "submissions_count": "1890" }, { "keyword_id": "3618", "keyword_name": "turtlecest", "contributed": "f", "submissions_count": "2549" }, { "keyword_id": "14477", "keyword_name": "turtles", "contributed": "f", "submissions_count": "4234" } ], "hidden": "f", "scraps": "f", "favorite": "f", "favorites_count": "16", "create_datetime": "2017-06-19 22:44:39.997036+00", "create_datetime_usertime": "20 Jun 2017 00:44 CEST", "last_file_update_datetime": "2017-06-19 22:34:32.349335+00", "last_file_update_datetime_usertime": "20 Jun 2017 00:34 CEST", "username": "hummerhouse", "user_id": "54734", "user_icon_file_name": "19508_hummerhouse_raphael.gif", "user_icon_url_large": "https://nl1.ib.metapix.net/usericons/large/19/19508_hummerhouse_raphael.gif", "user_icon_url_medium": "https://nl1.ib.metapix.net/usericons/medium/19/19508_hummerhouse_raphael.gif", "user_icon_url_small": "https://nl1.ib.metapix.net/usericons/small/19/19508_hummerhouse_raphael.gif", "file_name": "1943301_hummerhouse_beck_and_call_part_16.doc", "file_url_full": "https://nl1.ib.metapix.net/files/full/1943/1943301_hummerhouse_beck_and_call_part_16.doc", "file_url_screen": "https://nl1.ib.metapix.net/files/screen/1943/1943301_hummerhouse_beck_and_call_part_16.doc", "file_url_preview": "https://nl1.ib.metapix.net/files/preview/1943/1943301_hummerhouse_beck_and_call_part_16.doc", "thumbnail_url_huge": "https://nl1.ib.metapix.net/thumbnails/huge/1943/1943301_hummerhouse_beck_and_call_part_16.jpg", "thumbnail_url_large": "https://nl1.ib.metapix.net/thumbnails/large/1943/1943301_hummerhouse_beck_and_call_part_16.jpg", "thumbnail_url_medium": "https://nl1.ib.metapix.net/thumbnails/medium/1943/1943301_hummerhouse_beck_and_call_part_16.jpg", "thumb_huge_x": "300", "thumb_huge_y": "225", "thumb_large_x": "200", "thumb_large_y": "150", "thumb_medium_x": "120", "thumb_medium_y": "90", "files": [ { "file_id": "1943301", "file_name": "1943301_hummerhouse_beck_and_call_part_16.doc", "file_url_full": "https://nl1.ib.metapix.net/files/full/1943/1943301_hummerhouse_beck_and_call_part_16.doc", "file_url_screen": "https://nl1.ib.metapix.net/files/screen/1943/1943301_hummerhouse_beck_and_call_part_16.doc", "file_url_preview": "https://nl1.ib.metapix.net/files/preview/1943/1943301_hummerhouse_beck_and_call_part_16.doc", "mimetype": "application/msword", "submission_id": "1380457", "user_id": "54734", "submission_file_order": "0", "full_size_x": null, "full_size_y": null, "screen_size_x": null, "screen_size_y": null, "preview_size_x": null, "preview_size_y": null, "initial_file_md5": "c51e15b2fd637ab2e662b95ae44bdd83", "full_file_md5": "c51e15b2fd637ab2e662b95ae44bdd83", "large_file_md5": "", "small_file_md5": "", "thumbnail_md5": "0b6decb11bf19b160312ff03c64e0131", "deleted": "f", "create_datetime": "2017-06-19 22:34:32.349335+00", "create_datetime_usertime": "20 Jun 2017 00:34 CEST", "thumbnail_url_huge": "https://nl1.ib.metapix.net/thumbnails/huge/1943/1943301_hummerhouse_beck_and_call_part_16.jpg", "thumbnail_url_large": "https://nl1.ib.metapix.net/thumbnails/large/1943/1943301_hummerhouse_beck_and_call_part_16.jpg", "thumbnail_url_medium": "https://nl1.ib.metapix.net/thumbnails/medium/1943/1943301_hummerhouse_beck_and_call_part_16.jpg", "thumb_huge_x": "300", "thumb_huge_y": "225", "thumb_large_x": "200", "thumb_large_y": "150", "thumb_medium_x": "120", "thumb_medium_y": "90" } ], "pools": [ { "pool_id": "41144", "name": "Beck and Call", "description": "Donatello is known as the 'go-to Turtle', the guy who can fix all sorts of things. His role in the family takes an unexpected turn when his brothers decide to expand on his job description.", "count": "24", "submission_left_submission_id": "1350828", "submission_left_file_name": "1898709_hummerhouse_beck_and_call_part_15.doc", "submission_left_thumbnail_url_huge": "https://nl1.ib.metapix.net/thumbnails/huge/1898/1898709_hummerhouse_beck_and_call_part_15.jpg", "submission_left_thumbnail_url_large": "https://nl1.ib.metapix.net/thumbnails/large/1898/1898709_hummerhouse_beck_and_call_part_15.jpg", "submission_left_thumbnail_url_medium": "https://nl1.ib.metapix.net/thumbnails/medium/1898/1898709_hummerhouse_beck_and_call_part_15.jpg", "submission_left_thumb_huge_x": "300", "submission_left_thumb_huge_y": "225", "submission_left_thumb_large_x": "200", "submission_left_thumb_large_y": "150", "submission_left_thumb_medium_x": "120", "submission_left_thumb_medium_y": "90", "submission_right_submission_id": "1402646", "submission_right_file_name": "1977306_hummerhouse_beck_and_call_part_17.doc", "submission_right_thumbnail_url_huge": "https://nl1.ib.metapix.net/thumbnails/huge/1977/1977306_hummerhouse_beck_and_call_part_17.jpg", "submission_right_thumbnail_url_large": "https://nl1.ib.metapix.net/thumbnails/large/1977/1977306_hummerhouse_beck_and_call_part_17.jpg", "submission_right_thumbnail_url_medium": "https://nl1.ib.metapix.net/thumbnails/medium/1977/1977306_hummerhouse_beck_and_call_part_17.jpg", "submission_right_thumb_huge_x": "300", "submission_right_thumb_huge_y": "225", "submission_right_thumb_large_x": "200", "submission_right_thumb_large_y": "150", "submission_right_thumb_medium_x": "120", "submission_right_thumb_medium_y": "90" } ], "description": "Disclaimer: The TMNT are not mine. No money being made.\nWord Count part 16: 3,527 multi-chapter 2k3\nSummary: Donatello is known as the 'go-to Turtle', the guy who can fix all sorts of things. His role in the family takes an unexpected turn when his brothers decide to expand on his job description.\nRatings per chapter vary - R to NC-17\n~~This amazing preview image was created by the incomparable @Sherenelle \n\n!!~~Winner in the Universal TMNT Fanfiction Competition 2016: (Erotica Ballot) Sexiest Donatello 1st Place; Most Turtle-Tastic T-Cest 1st Place", "description_bbcode_parsed": "Disclaimer: The TMNT are not mine. No money being made.
Word Count part 16: 3,527 multi-chapter 2k3
Summary: Donatello is known as the 'go-to Turtle', the guy who can fix all sorts of things.  His role in the family takes an unexpected turn when his brothers decide to expand on his job description.
Ratings per chapter vary - R to NC-17
~~This amazing preview image was created by the incomparable @Sherenelle

!!~~Winner in the Universal TMNT Fanfiction Competition 2016: (Erotica Ballot) Sexiest Donatello 1st Place; Most Turtle-Tastic T-Cest 1st Place", "writing": "\tDonatello’s epiphany did not come as all that much of a surprise to him.\n\n\tHe knew his place in the family; he had always known what they needed from him. Over the past couple of weeks Don had come to understand that Raph and Mikey also needed a physical intimacy with him and at his core he understood why they had that need.\n\n\tDon knew their desire was based on a sexual attraction to him, that they needed his body and his touch just as much as his giving nature, but he had never felt that type of need for himself – until now.\n\n\tThe tingle that Don was experiencing wherever his skin touched Leo’s was nothing less than exhilarating. He’d awakened to those feelings after having fallen into a light doze in Leo’s arms.\n\n\tIt was almost shocking to Don to find that he wanted to act on those feelings. He wanted to kiss Leo again, he wanted Leo to touch him everywhere, he wanted to feel Leo’s mouth on his body, and he wanted Leo to make love to him. Don wondered if this was the type of aching need that both Raph and Mikey went through when they were with him.\n\n\tTilting his head up, Don looked into Leo’s face. His brother’s eyes were closed, but Don could tell that Leo wasn’t sleeping.\n\n\t“Are you getting hungry?” Leo asked without opening his eyes. “Do you want me to get you something?”\n\n\t“No, I’m fine,” Don answered. “Did you sleep?”\n\n\tLeo smiled slightly before finally turning his head on the pillow so he could look at Don. “I didn’t want to sleep. It felt too good to have you here and I didn’t want to miss a minute of it.”\n\n\tTheir mouths were close enough so that Don only had to stretch his neck a little in order for his lips to find Leo’s. It was a deep kiss, one that had Leo tightening his grip on his brother and had Don squeezing Leo’s hip.\n\n\tBefore Don could move his hand to touch Leo in a way that would let him know how much Don wanted him, Leo gently broke the kiss.\n\n\tNerve endings were singing all over Don’s body. “You don’t have to miss anything ever again,” Don said breathlessly. “I can be here in your bed whenever you want. I can be more than just someone you sleep next to.”\n\n\t“Don’t think that I don’t understand what it is you’re offering Donny, because I do,” Leo said. “For me, this situation is more complicated than I think you realize.”\n\n\t“Then tell me,” Don urged. “Help me understand. I want you so badly right now.” To emphasize his point, Don rubbed his knee against the top of Leo’s leg.\n\n\t“Slow down, Donny. Please,” Leo said, though there was a catch in his throat.\n\n\t“Explain this to me, Leo. You’re reacting to my touch, so I know you want me too,” Don said.\n\n\t“Yes I do,” Leo admitted, “and that’s the problem. Once I had you in that way, once you’d shared yourself with me, I’d want that every night. [i]Every [/i]night, Donny. Not just every third night or whenever you could fit me into the rotation.”\n\n\tSo Raph had been right when he’d said that Leo was possessive. Apparently Leo did realize more about himself than Raph thought he did.\n\nWanting Leo the way that he did, needing to love Leo the way that he did, made Don that much more aware of how Mikey and Raph felt for [i]him[/i]. To give Leo what he wanted meant shutting out his other two brothers, and Don simply could not do that.\n\n“It isn’t as though I’m paying them house calls,” Don said with a touch of bitterness in his tone. “There isn’t a schedule posted somewhere that assigns the dates for my sexual liaisons. I could be with you more because my feelings for you are different, but I couldn’t cut them off completely. They need what I offer them sexually and I enjoy being so close to them.”\n\n“You’ve explained that to me,” Leo said. “I’ve already grasped those facts. What I’m telling you about is the conundrum that I face. This is who I am, Donny.”\n\n“I changed,” Don said, making certain that Leo could see his fervor. “I never felt sexual attraction before, never had any desire for that type of intimacy. I’ve only just realized that I can feel that way towards someone with whom I’m connected in an intensely emotional way. You don’t have to possess me for me to be yours, Leo. Your mindset can change too.”\n\n“You’re asking me to share you and I don’t know if that’s something I can do,” Leo said with a touch of stubbornness. “It’s one of my character traits, not a personality flaw. I’m a good leader because I don’t share my responsibilities or burdens with anyone. Sharing is not in my nature.”\n\n“You keep seeing this from a team perspective,” Don told him. “It’s not, it’s a family thing. All we’ve ever done our entire lives is to share. That’s how we’ve survived. When we wear our masks we are members of a team, when we take them off we’re family. Lovers. There’s no need for you to direct our actions, our instincts will do that for us.”\n\n“Leadership isn’t a part time job,” Leo said. “To do it well you have to live it, breathe it, and be [i]it [/i]all of the time. There is no dividing my personality.”\n\n“I’m not asking that of you,” Don said. “I’m asking that you learn to handle this in the same way you would any new situation. I’m asking you to adjust your thinking to fit the circumstances. That is [i]exactly [/i]what you do as a leader.”\n\n“And what do I do when you aren’t in my bed, when I know that you’re in Raph’s or Mikey’s?” Leo asked with a pained expression. “How do I deal with those mental images after knowing exactly how you look when you are under [i]me[/i]? How do I push away that innate jealousy? You told me it wasn’t fair of me to hide my emotions from you and this is one of them. When you weren’t with me I’d lie here, picturing your face and your body, and I’d see their hands on you. I can barely handle that knowledge now.”\n\n“Then maybe you should share your bed with one of them when I’m with the other,” Don said.\n\n“I should . . . what?” Leo asked in astonishment, disentangling himself from Don and pushing himself up onto an elbow so that he could stare at his brother.\n\nDon bit his lip, not sure where that idea had sprung up from. He pressed on with it. “I wasn’t suggesting sex. I’m thinking that maybe you should experience some of the closeness with them that I’ve felt just by spending the night holding them. Maybe that’s what we all need the most, more so than intercourse. It’s what Mikey’s looking for, something akin to romance. You could have that with them too.”\n\n“Are you proposing that as a solution to our dilemma?” Leo asked. “That none of us sleeps alone anymore?”\n\n“We have to try something Leo, even if it’s out of the box thinking,” Don said. “We’ll lose as a family if you hold yourself aloof from the rest of us. I’ll lose because I love you and want to be with you in every possible way.”\n\nLeo glanced at the map on his bedside table and then back at Don. “It’s a . . . unique idea, maybe better than other alternatives. I just don’t know that it will work. I don’t see Raph going along with it for one thing.”\n\n“Sometimes you have to throw a Hail Mary pass and hope for a touchdown,” Don said. “It wouldn’t be the first time we’ve done something like that. Raph is the one who started all of this, Leo. He’s invested in seeing it work. He might surprise you.”\n\n“A football analogy? Now you sound just like Raph,” Leo said with just a hint of a smile. It gave way to an earnest expression. “There is another solution too, Donny. Don’t have sex with any of us. You can share our beds, we can take and give comfort and closeness, but intercourse wouldn’t be part of the equation.”\n\nLeo had said that he wanted him, so Don couldn’t quite understand this proposal. He was sure that their last kiss had turned Leo on too, so how could he suggest abstaining from something without ever having it?\n\nBrow furrowed, “Are you just being selfless Leo, or is it something else? Don’t you want to . . . ?\n\nHis question was interrupted by a tap on the door. It wasn’t the loud knock that usually accompanied either Mikey or Raph and the pair knew instantly who it was.\n\nThrowing the blanket back, Leo swiftly sat up, offering his hand to Don and pulling him up as well. Leo was already seated on the edge of the bed before Don could even swing his legs around, proving once more just how fast the turtle leader’s reaction times were.\n\n“Come in,” Leo called as Don settled next to him.\n\nMaster Splinter entered the room, glancing from one of his sons to the other. He didn’t seem surprised to find them together.\n\nAlthough his father looked calm, Don was panicking on the inside. “I c . . . came in here to t . . . talk . . . .” Don began to splutter.\n\nLifting a hand, Master Splinter silenced him. “I thought that I would find you here. It is time for the two of us to talk as well.”\n\nDon’s mouth snapped shut and he glanced at Leo, who nodded. “It’s all right, Donny.”\n\nWithout another word, Don stood up and followed his father from the room, resisting the urge to look back at Leo. Don only knew that Leo had risen from the bed when he heard the sound of his brother’s bedroom door being closed.\n\nA distinct feeling of dread sat heavily in Don’s gut as he entered Master Splinter’s room. Kneeling on the rug, Don waited with his head bowed while his father slid the door shut and then came over to join him.\n\nNot knowing which direction the conversation would take, Don remained silent as Master Splinter took up his usual position directly in front of his son. For a long moment Master Splinter simply contemplated Donatello as though trying to decide how to begin.\n\nFinally Master Splinter sighed. “Why do you suppose that an act with such far reaching ramifications can be so easily entered into without thought as to what might occur afterwards?”\n\nKeeping his eyes on the floor, Don said, “I’m not sure that’s a fair question for me to try and answer.”\n\n“Because you were not the one to initiate sex with your brothers,” Master Splinter said. “You were, however, the one to say yes when they pressed you for it.” Shaking his head, he stopped Don from interrupting. “You do not need to explain again how your brothers needed you, I have already heard it once. We are not here because of what has already come to pass, it cannot be undone.”\n\n“Do you wish that it could be?” Don asked, tentatively fishing for the reason he’d been called to Master Splinter’s room.\n\n“We are beyond those philosophical types of questions,” Master Splinter said. “If to discuss the philosophy of time travel was not your objective for asking the question, then we should begin to address the actual reason for why you are here.”\n\nSensing that his father’s first question wasn’t simply rhetorical, Don said, “The . . . emotions of a moment will sometimes push aside rational thought. Fear, loneliness, desire, an impending sense of your own mortality can overwhelm a moment and result in actions that haven’t been thoroughly examined.”\n\n“Yet you do not tend towards that type of emotional outburst yourself, do you Donatello? Your mind follows a path of logic and reasoning. While you did not yourself feel the same physical urges that overwhelmed your brothers, you agreed to join them on the path they were taking. Your own desire was not a physical one, but a need to appease both Raphael and Michelangelo’s needs.”\n\n“Yes,” Don replied, seeing that his father was summarizing Don’s own explanations for why the sexual encounters had not only begun, but had continued.\n\n“You take comfort in giving it,” Master Splinter said. “That is a commendable trait. Your giving nature has not only brought us safety and security, it has provided us with some of life’s simple amenities. If you think that I do not understand how your brothers could be drawn to you when searching for an intimate kind of love, let me assure you that I do. It is the soothing calm of your nature, Donatello. You have a light within you, a warmth, which is appealing to all three of your siblings.”\n\nDon could feel a lump rising in his throat, his chin quivering with emotion. Whether or not sex appealed to him, the idea that he meant that much to his brothers certainly did.\n\n“In return, the feeling of being so close to them . . . sustains me,” Don said, speaking softly and using the word that Leo had supplied to Raph during a previous argument.\n\n“It is a connection that holds you bound to them as all of you grow older,” Master Splinter said. “I understood it as soon as I realized that Raphael had finally chosen to act upon his desires for you. Your incredible mind separates you from them in many ways and they care for you too much to allow you to drift even farther from them.”\n\nGlancing up, Don asked, “Is that why you didn’t come right out and forbid our affairs?”\n\n“Would doing so have solved anything?” Master Splinter countered. “Though you are all [i]my [/i]children, you are no longer children in that sense of the word. You have expressed an understanding of the psychology of taking a lover. I believe that Raphael and Michelangelo have given the subject much thought as well.”\n\n“The three of us are in accord. That isn’t our problem,” Don stated miserably.\n\n“No it is not,” Master Splinter agreed. “The problem is that there are [i]four [/i]of you.”\n\n“Leo,” Don said, almost under his breath.\n\n“Leonardo has been left out of this equation,” Master Splinter said. “Because he chose to question the consequences of your actions, he aroused Raphael’s resentment. To circumvent Leonardo’s apprehension with regard to the matter, you asked that Raphael and Michelangelo treat him differently.”\n\n“That wasn’t what I was trying to do,” Don protested.\n\n“Nevertheless, it is how your brothers perceived that request. We have seen the results of that misstep. This morning's quarrel has highlighted not only the misunderstandings between your four, but the miscommunications as well. Unity and balance are gone.”\n\n“Leo and I are trying to repair that,” Don offered.\n\n“Sleeping in his bed will not resolve the situation,” Master Splinter said. “I am certain that the hours you have spent lying next to him today have provided you with the comfort of knowing that Leonardo cares for you as deeply as Raphael and Michelangelo. That Leonardo [i]desires [/i]you just as they do. If it were a simple matter of becoming as intimate with him as you have become with the other two, then balance would be restored. Such is not the case.”\n\n“He told you that when you talked to him, didn’t he?” Don asked.\n\n“Ah my son, I had known of Leonardo’s penchant towards possessiveness long before this occurred,” Master Splinter answered. “That trait factored into my decision to make him leader. It can be an advantage, but it can also be a detriment. That is what I discussed with Leonardo.”\n\n“Then how do we resolve this?” Don asked. “I want to be with him, but I need for him to accept that I will continue to be with Raph and Mikey too.”\n\n“If I had the answer, it would be forthcoming,” Master Splinter said. “I can offer guidance and advice, I can draw your attention to certain pitfalls, but I cannot alter a mindset that is stubbornly adhered to. I will submit this insight for your consideration; Leonardo has expressed a need to distance himself from the situation. To withdraw to a point where he is not reminded on a daily basis of the change that has occurred between his siblings.”\n\nDon’s mouth fell open as he remembered the map that Leo had been perusing. “He’d move out?” Don asked incredulously. “He can’t do that. You can’t allow him to do that. He’s our brother. He’s our leader. How could he be those things from a distance? How would I . . . I wouldn’t know what to do without him.”\n\nThe concept of Leo moving out left Donatello feeling incredibly dismayed. His brother had made no mention of that possibility while they’d lain together talking of solutions for their dilemma. Had he already made up his mind and only been humoring Don? Was that why Leo hadn’t accepted Don’s sexual overtures? \n\nMaster Splinter seemed to be watching those thoughts go through Don’s mind as he quietly studied his son. With a brief nod, he said, “I do not believe for one minute that is what Leonardo truly wants to do, but he is convincing himself that it is the only alternative. He wants nothing more than to know his brothers are happy, and if he must sacrifice something to that end, he will do so.”\n\n“But he needn’t!” Don exclaimed. “It’s just a matter of change; he doesn’t need to have that mindset. We can find a way to prove to him that this is a part of his life he doesn’t need to assert such control over.”\n\n“Do you understand possessiveness, Donatello? Do you know the basis for jealousy?” Master Splinter asked. “When Leonardo thinks of you engaging in sexual relations with your brothers, he feels a sense of abandonment, a fear that he will permanently lose you to them. It is in many ways an irrational emotion. Leonardo is ashamed of that emotion and tries to hide it from all of you. He fears it would make him look vulnerable.”\n\n“It didn’t help that my attempt to arrange for Raph and Mikey to treat him with kid gloves only exacerbated those feelings,” Don said, looking crestfallen. “I didn’t understand anything at all. If Leo leaves, I’ll never forgive myself.”\n\n“I have spoken to him and given him my opinion that distancing himself from the situation will not resolve the issue because he cannot run from himself,” Master Splinter said. “I called you in here to discuss this as I believe you are the one to ultimately dissuade him of the notion.”\n\nRecalling his discussion with Leo and how he’d said that Don’s idea was better than the alternatives, Don knew deep down that Leo did not want to leave them.\n\n“I won’t let him go,” Don said firmly. “I won’t let him have that option. I . . . .”\n\nHe was interrupted by the noise of raised voices from outside the room. Both Don and Master Splinter looked towards the door as the sounds drew near, recognizing that they belonged to Leo and Raph.\n\nStanding quickly, Master Splinter signaled for Don to follow him, but to remain silent. Rather than opening the door, Master Splinter stood next to it, indicating to Don that they should listen to what was transpiring in the lair.\n\n “Did you gain no insights at all while you were in your room?” Leo asked. “This is exactly why we were told to separate and think about our situation.”\n\n“What’s there to think about? Ya’ can’t stand the idea of not being in complete control of everything!” Raph shouted. “I already had that one figured out!”\n\n“So as usual you are not at fault for anything? You still want to rush out and attack the Foot despite what Father told you!” Leo yelled.\n\n“That’s not what’s going on here,” Raph snarled. “Ya’ know damn well it isn’t!”\n\n“We’re not solving anything this way,” Mikey said loudly, clearly trying to get the pair to listen to reason. “We shouldn’t be out of our rooms.”\n\n“Why don’t you prove to me that your head’s on straight, Raphael? There’s the dojo, I challenge you to try and defeat me,” Leo said.\n\n“Fine! If ya’ want your ass kicked, I’ll be glad to oblige!” Raph roared.\n\nWide eyed, Don looked at Master Splinter, expecting his father to rush out and stop them. Instead, Master Splinter shook his head and placed a finger to his lips.\n\nDonatello had always believed his father to be very wise. He hoped that Master Splinter knew what he was doing, because none of what he’d just heard sounded good.\n\nTBC……………\n\n", "writing_bbcode_parsed": "\tDonatello’s epiphany did not come as all that much of a surprise to him.

\tHe knew his place in the family; he had always known what they needed from him.  Over the past couple of weeks Don had come to understand that Raph and Mikey also needed a physical intimacy with him and at his core he understood why they had that need.

\tDon knew their desire was based on a sexual attraction to him, that they needed his body and his touch just as much as his giving nature, but he had never felt that type of need for himself – until now.

\tThe tingle that Don was experiencing wherever his skin touched Leo’s was nothing less than exhilarating.  He’d awakened to those feelings after having fallen into a light doze in Leo’s arms.

\tIt was almost shocking to Don to find that he wanted to act on those feelings.  He wanted to kiss Leo again, he wanted Leo to touch him everywhere, he wanted to feel Leo’s mouth on his body, and he wanted Leo to make love to him.  Don wondered if this was the type of aching need that both Raph and Mikey went through when they were with him.

\tTilting his head up, Don looked into Leo’s face.  His brother’s eyes were closed, but Don could tell that Leo wasn’t sleeping.

\t“Are you getting hungry?” Leo asked without opening his eyes.  “Do you want me to get you something?”

\t“No, I’m fine,” Don answered.  “Did you sleep?”

\tLeo smiled slightly before finally turning his head on the pillow so he could look at Don.  “I didn’t want to sleep.  It felt too good to have you here and I didn’t want to miss a minute of it.”

\tTheir mouths were close enough so that Don only had to stretch his neck a little in order for his lips to find Leo’s.  It was a deep kiss, one that had Leo tightening his grip on his brother and had Don squeezing Leo’s hip.

\tBefore Don could move his hand to touch Leo in a way that would let him know how much Don wanted him, Leo gently broke the kiss.

\tNerve endings were singing all over Don’s body.  “You don’t have to miss anything ever again,” Don said breathlessly.  “I can be here in your bed whenever you want.  I can be more than just someone you sleep next to.”

\t“Don’t think that I don’t understand what it is you’re offering Donny, because I do,” Leo said.  “For me, this situation is more complicated than I think you realize.”

\t“Then tell me,” Don urged.  “Help me understand.  I want you so badly right now.”  To emphasize his point, Don rubbed his knee against the top of Leo’s leg.

\t“Slow down, Donny.  Please,” Leo said, though there was a catch in his throat.

\t“Explain this to me, Leo.  You’re reacting to my touch, so I know you want me too,” Don said.

\t“Yes I do,” Leo admitted, “and that’s the problem.  Once I had you in that way, once you’d shared yourself with me, I’d want that every night.  Every night, Donny.  Not just every third night or whenever you could fit me into the rotation.”

\tSo Raph had been right when he’d said that Leo was possessive.  Apparently Leo did realize more about himself than Raph thought he did.

Wanting Leo the way that he did, needing to love Leo the way that he did, made Don that much more aware of how Mikey and Raph felt for him.  To give Leo what he wanted meant shutting out his other two brothers, and Don simply could not do that.

“It isn’t as though I’m paying them house calls,” Don said with a touch of bitterness in his tone.  “There isn’t a schedule posted somewhere that assigns the dates for my sexual liaisons.  I could be with you more because my feelings for you are different, but I couldn’t cut them off completely.  They need what I offer them sexually and I enjoy being so close to them.”

“You’ve explained that to me,” Leo said.  “I’ve already grasped those facts.  What I’m telling you about is the conundrum that I face.  This is who I am, Donny.”

“I changed,” Don said, making certain that Leo could see his fervor.  “I never felt sexual attraction before, never had any desire for that type of intimacy.  I’ve only just realized that I can feel that way towards someone with whom I’m connected in an intensely emotional way.  You don’t have to possess me for me to be yours, Leo.  Your mindset can change too.”

“You’re asking me to share you and I don’t know if that’s something I can do,” Leo said with a touch of stubbornness.  “It’s one of my character traits, not a personality flaw.  I’m a good leader because I don’t share my responsibilities or burdens with anyone.  Sharing is not in my nature.”

“You keep seeing this from a team perspective,” Don told him.  “It’s not, it’s a family thing.  All we’ve ever done our entire lives is to share.  That’s how we’ve survived.  When we wear our masks we are members of a team, when we take them off we’re family.  Lovers.  There’s no need for you to direct our actions, our instincts will do that for us.”

“Leadership isn’t a part time job,” Leo said.  “To do it well you have to live it, breathe it, and be it all of the time.  There is no dividing my personality.”

“I’m not asking that of you,” Don said.  “I’m asking that you learn to handle this in the same way you would any new situation.  I’m asking you to adjust your thinking to fit the circumstances.  That is exactly what you do as a leader.”

“And what do I do when you aren’t in my bed, when I know that you’re in Raph’s or Mikey’s?” Leo asked with a pained expression.  “How do I deal with those mental images after knowing exactly how you look when you are under me?  How do I push away that innate jealousy?  You told me it wasn’t fair of me to hide my emotions from you and this is one of them.  When you weren’t with me I’d lie here, picturing your face and your body, and I’d see their hands on you.  I can barely handle that knowledge now.”

“Then maybe you should share your bed with one of them when I’m with the other,” Don said.

“I should . . . what?” Leo asked in astonishment, disentangling himself from Don and pushing himself up onto an elbow so that he could stare at his brother.

Don bit his lip, not sure where that idea had sprung up from.  He pressed on with it.  “I wasn’t suggesting sex.  I’m thinking that maybe you should experience some of the closeness with them that I’ve felt just by spending the night holding them.  Maybe that’s what we all need the most, more so than intercourse.  It’s what Mikey’s looking for, something akin to romance.  You could have that with them too.”

“Are you proposing that as a solution to our dilemma?” Leo asked.  “That none of us sleeps alone anymore?”

“We have to try something Leo, even if it’s out of the box thinking,” Don said.  “We’ll lose as a family if you hold yourself aloof from the rest of us.  I’ll lose because I love you and want to be with you in every possible way.”

Leo glanced at the map on his bedside table and then back at Don.  “It’s a . . . unique idea, maybe better than other alternatives.  I just don’t know that it will work.  I don’t see Raph going along with it for one thing.”

“Sometimes you have to throw a Hail Mary pass and hope for a touchdown,” Don said.  “It wouldn’t be the first time we’ve done something like that.  Raph is the one who started all of this, Leo.  He’s invested in seeing it work.  He might surprise you.”

“A football analogy?  Now you sound just like Raph,” Leo said with just a hint of a smile.  It gave way to an earnest expression.  “There is another solution too, Donny.  Don’t have sex with any of us.  You can share our beds, we can take and give comfort and closeness, but intercourse wouldn’t be part of the equation.”

Leo had said that he wanted him, so Don couldn’t quite understand this proposal.  He was sure that their last kiss had turned Leo on too, so how could he suggest abstaining from something without ever having it?

Brow furrowed, “Are you just being selfless Leo, or is it something else?  Don’t you want to . . . ?

His question was interrupted by a tap on the door.  It wasn’t the loud knock that usually accompanied either Mikey or Raph and the pair knew instantly who it was.

Throwing the blanket back, Leo swiftly sat up, offering his hand to Don and pulling him up as well.  Leo was already seated on the edge of the bed before Don could even swing his legs around, proving once more just how fast the turtle leader’s reaction times were.

“Come in,” Leo called as Don settled next to him.

Master Splinter entered the room, glancing from one of his sons to the other.  He didn’t seem surprised to find them together.

Although his father looked calm, Don was panicking on the inside.  “I c . . . came in here to t . . . talk . . . .” Don began to splutter.

Lifting a hand, Master Splinter silenced him.  “I thought that I would find you here.  It is time for the two of us to talk as well.”

Don’s mouth snapped shut and he glanced at Leo, who nodded.  “It’s all right, Donny.”

Without another word, Don stood up and followed his father from the room, resisting the urge to look back at Leo.  Don only knew that Leo had risen from the bed when he heard the sound of his brother’s bedroom door being closed.

A distinct feeling of dread sat heavily in Don’s gut as he entered Master Splinter’s room.  Kneeling on the rug, Don waited with his head bowed while his father slid the door shut and then came over to join him.

Not knowing which direction the conversation would take, Don remained silent as Master Splinter took up his usual position directly in front of his son.  For a long moment Master Splinter simply contemplated Donatello as though trying to decide how to begin.

Finally Master Splinter sighed.  “Why do you suppose that an act with such far reaching ramifications can be so easily entered into without thought as to what might occur afterwards?”

Keeping his eyes on the floor, Don said, “I’m not sure that’s a fair question for me to try and answer.”

“Because you were not the one to initiate sex with your brothers,” Master Splinter said.  “You were, however, the one to say yes when they pressed you for it.”  Shaking his head, he stopped Don from interrupting.  “You do not need to explain again how your brothers needed you, I have already heard it once.  We are not here because of what has already come to pass, it cannot be undone.”

“Do you wish that it could be?” Don asked, tentatively fishing for the reason he’d been called to Master Splinter’s room.

“We are beyond those philosophical types of questions,” Master Splinter said.  “If to discuss the philosophy of time travel was not your objective for asking the question, then we should begin to address the actual reason for why you are here.”

Sensing that his father’s first question wasn’t simply rhetorical, Don said, “The . . . emotions of a moment will sometimes push aside rational thought.  Fear, loneliness, desire, an impending sense of your own mortality can overwhelm a moment and result in actions that haven’t been thoroughly examined.”

“Yet you do not tend towards that type of emotional outburst yourself, do you Donatello?  Your mind follows a path of logic and reasoning.  While you did not yourself feel the same physical urges that overwhelmed your brothers, you agreed to join them on the path they were taking.  Your own desire was not a physical one, but a need to appease both Raphael and Michelangelo’s needs.”

“Yes,” Don replied, seeing that his father was summarizing Don’s own explanations for why the sexual encounters had not only begun, but had continued.

“You take comfort in giving it,” Master Splinter said.  “That is a commendable trait.  Your giving nature has not only brought us safety and security, it has provided us with some of life’s simple amenities.  If you think that I do not understand how your brothers could be drawn to you when searching for an intimate kind of love, let me assure you that I do.  It is the soothing calm of your nature, Donatello.  You have a light within you, a warmth, which is appealing to all three of your siblings.”

Don could feel a lump rising in his throat, his chin quivering with emotion.  Whether or not sex appealed to him, the idea that he meant that much to his brothers certainly did.

“In return, the feeling of being so close to them . . . sustains me,” Don said, speaking softly and using the word that Leo had supplied to Raph during a previous argument.

“It is a connection that holds you bound to them as all of you grow older,” Master Splinter said.  “I understood it as soon as I realized that Raphael had finally chosen to act upon his desires for you.  Your incredible mind separates you from them in many ways and they care for you too much to allow you to drift even farther from them.”

Glancing up, Don asked, “Is that why you didn’t come right out and forbid our affairs?”

“Would doing so have solved anything?” Master Splinter countered.  “Though you are all my children, you are no longer children in that sense of the word.  You have expressed an understanding of the psychology of taking a lover.  I believe that Raphael and Michelangelo have given the subject much thought as well.”

“The three of us are in accord.  That isn’t our problem,” Don stated miserably.

“No it is not,” Master Splinter agreed.  “The problem is that there are four of you.”

“Leo,” Don said, almost under his breath.

“Leonardo has been left out of this equation,” Master Splinter said.  “Because he chose to question the consequences of your actions, he aroused Raphael’s resentment.  To circumvent Leonardo’s apprehension with regard to the matter, you asked that Raphael and Michelangelo treat him differently.”

“That wasn’t what I was trying to do,” Don protested.

“Nevertheless, it is how your brothers perceived that request.  We have seen the results of that misstep.  This morning's quarrel has highlighted not only the misunderstandings between your four, but the miscommunications as well.  Unity and balance are gone.”

“Leo and I are trying to repair that,” Don offered.

“Sleeping in his bed will not resolve the situation,” Master Splinter said.  “I am certain that the hours you have spent lying next to him today have provided you with the comfort of knowing that Leonardo cares for you as deeply as Raphael and Michelangelo.  That Leonardo desires you just as they do.  If it were a simple matter of becoming as intimate with him as you have become with the other two, then balance would be restored.  Such is not the case.”

“He told you that when you talked to him, didn’t he?” Don asked.

“Ah my son, I had known of Leonardo’s penchant towards possessiveness long before this occurred,” Master Splinter answered.  “That trait factored into my decision to make him leader.  It can be an advantage, but it can also be a detriment.  That is what I discussed with Leonardo.”

“Then how do we resolve this?” Don asked.  “I want to be with him, but I need for him to accept that I will continue to be with Raph and Mikey too.”

“If I had the answer, it would be forthcoming,” Master Splinter said.  “I can offer guidance and advice, I can draw your attention to certain pitfalls, but I cannot alter a mindset that is stubbornly adhered to.  I will submit this insight for your consideration; Leonardo has expressed a need to distance himself from the situation.  To withdraw to a point where he is not reminded on a daily basis of the change that has occurred between his siblings.”

Don’s mouth fell open as he remembered the map that Leo had been perusing.  “He’d move out?” Don asked incredulously.  “He can’t do that.  You can’t allow him to do that.  He’s our brother.  He’s our leader.  How could he be those things from a distance?  How would I . . . I wouldn’t know what to do without him.”

The concept of Leo moving out left Donatello feeling incredibly dismayed.  His brother had made no mention of that possibility while they’d lain together talking of solutions for their dilemma.  Had he already made up his mind and only been humoring Don?  Was that why Leo hadn’t accepted Don’s sexual overtures?  

Master Splinter seemed to be watching those thoughts go through Don’s mind as he quietly studied his son.  With a brief nod, he said, “I do not believe for one minute that is what Leonardo truly wants to do, but he is convincing himself that it is the only alternative.  He wants nothing more than to know his brothers are happy, and if he must sacrifice something to that end, he will do so.”

“But he needn’t!” Don exclaimed.  “It’s just a matter of change; he doesn’t need to have that mindset.  We can find a way to prove to him that this is a part of his life he doesn’t need to assert such control over.”

“Do you understand possessiveness, Donatello?  Do you know the basis for jealousy?” Master Splinter asked.  “When Leonardo thinks of you engaging in sexual relations with your brothers, he feels a sense of abandonment, a fear that he will permanently lose you to them.  It is in many ways an irrational emotion.  Leonardo is ashamed of that emotion and tries to hide it from all of you.  He fears it would make him look vulnerable.”

“It didn’t help that my attempt to arrange for Raph and Mikey to treat him with kid gloves only exacerbated those feelings,” Don said, looking crestfallen.  “I didn’t understand anything at all.  If Leo leaves, I’ll never forgive myself.”

“I have spoken to him and given him my opinion that distancing himself from the situation will not resolve the issue because he cannot run from himself,” Master Splinter said.  “I called you in here to discuss this as I believe you are the one to ultimately dissuade him of the notion.”

Recalling his discussion with Leo and how he’d said that Don’s idea was better than the alternatives, Don knew deep down that Leo did not want to leave them.

“I won’t let him go,” Don said firmly.  “I won’t let him have that option.  I . . . .”

He was interrupted by the noise of raised voices from outside the room.  Both Don and Master Splinter looked towards the door as the sounds drew near, recognizing that they belonged to Leo and Raph.

Standing quickly, Master Splinter signaled for Don to follow him, but to remain silent.  Rather than opening the door, Master Splinter stood next to it, indicating to Don that they should listen to what was transpiring in the lair.

 “Did you gain no insights at all while you were in your room?” Leo asked.  “This is exactly why we were told to separate and think about our situation.”

“What’s there to think about?  Ya’ can’t stand the idea of not being in complete control of everything!” Raph shouted.  “I already had that one figured out!”

“So as usual you are not at fault for anything?  You still want to rush out and attack the Foot despite what Father told you!” Leo yelled.

“That’s not what’s going on here,” Raph snarled.  “Ya’ know damn well it isn’t!”

“We’re not solving anything this way,” Mikey said loudly, clearly trying to get the pair to listen to reason.  “We shouldn’t be out of our rooms.”

“Why don’t you prove to me that your head’s on straight, Raphael?  There’s the dojo, I challenge you to try and defeat me,” Leo said.

“Fine!  If ya’ want your ass kicked, I’ll be glad to oblige!” Raph roared.

Wide eyed, Don looked at Master Splinter, expecting his father to rush out and stop them.  Instead, Master Splinter shook his head and placed a finger to his lips.

Donatello had always believed his father to be very wise.  He hoped that Master Splinter knew what he was doing, because none of what he’d just heard sounded good.

TBC……………

", "pools_count": 1, "title": "Beck and Call part 16", "deleted": "f", "public": "t", "mimetype": "application/msword", "pagecount": "1", "rating_id": "2", "rating_name": "Adult", "ratings": [ { "content_tag_id": "4", "name": "Sexual Themes", "description": "Erotic imagery, sexual activity or arousal", "rating_id": "2" } ], "submission_type_id": "12", "type_name": "Writing - Document", "guest_block": "t", "friends_only": "f", "comments_count": "2", "views": "240" }