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"thumb_medium_y": "75" } ], "pools": [], "description": "Disclaimer: The TMNT are not mine. No money being made.\nWord Count: 1,236 TMNT 2k3 one shot\nRated: T\nSummary: They aren't suited to be together, no matter what Leonardo dreams about.\n~Written in response to my own writer's challenge: Think of your favorite TMNT pairing and then write a one shot as to why the pairing wouldn’t work.\n--My favorite is still OT4, but there are things about each turtlecest pairing I really love, so I'm addressing one of those in this fic. My choice: Raphael and Donatello.\n**Preview art by the amazing Sherenelle!", "description_bbcode_parsed": "Disclaimer: The TMNT are not mine. No money being made.
Word Count: 1,236 TMNT  2k3 one shot
Rated: T
Summary: They aren't suited to be together, no matter what Leonardo dreams about.
~Written in response to my own writer's challenge: Think of your favorite TMNT pairing and then write a one shot as to why the pairing wouldn’t work.
--My favorite is still OT4, but there are things about each turtlecest pairing I really love, so I'm addressing one of those in this fic. My choice: Raphael and Donatello.
**Preview art by the amazing Sherenelle!", "writing": "\t``Ya' know what the trouble with you is? Ya' think ya' know everything.''\n\n\t``I don't think I know everything, but I certainly know more than you,'' Donatello snapped back.\n\n\t``How'd ya' like to wear that engine mount?'' Raphael growled.\n\n\t``That's right, resort to violence when you can't win an argument any other way,'' Don countered.\n\n\tLeonardo started towards them, but Mikey halted him with a hand on his arm. ``Shouldn't we put a stop to this?'' Leo asked.\n\n\t``Nah.'' Mikey shook his head. ``Let them fight. Donny can more than hold his own. There's not always gonna be someone around to referee; they've gotta work it out by themselves.''\n\n\tHe urged Leo towards the stairs and away from the service bay. They could still hear their brothers' bickering as they entered the kitchen.\n\n\t``I'm gonna start dinner and you're gonna help,'' Mikey announced. ``You can cut up some veggies.''\n\n\tLeo dutifully washed his hands, his brow still puckered with concern. ``It's just that I so rarely hear those two argue.''\n\n\t``Oh, they argue,'' Mikey said. ``Usually Don says something to pacify Raph and the hot head cools off before he gets too riled up. If Donny thinks he's right, though, there's no backing down.''\n\n\t``Why don't I know about it? We've lived together for nearly twenty years,'' Leo said.\n\n\t``'Cause they don't do it in front of you or Sensei,'' Mikey told him. ``At least they try not to.''\n\n\tLeo began chopping up a pile of carrots. ``I always believed those two got along the best. They seem to have the most in common. In fact, the other night I had this dream. . . .''\n\n\tHe trailed off and Mikey turned to look at him, surprised to see that Leo's face was flushed.\n\n\t``What dream? Now you gotta tell me,'' Mikey said. ``Was it raunchy?''\n\n\tHis brother glanced up and rolled his eyes. ``Why would you immediately go there?''\n\n\t``Oh, I don't know. Maybe `cause you're totally blushing,'' Mikey said. ``Tell me the dream. Tell me, tell me, tell me.''\n\n\tLeo couldn't help but smile. His brother had a way about him, one that never failed to make Leo give in to his requests.\n\n\t``It was nothing, really. I think it was my subconscious reacting to things I thought I was seeing,'' Leo said. ``Things between Raph and Don. You know, not quite brotherly things.''\n\n\tMikey's eyes widened. ``Oh! You mean like those two doing the horizontal tango? How far did they go in that dream of yours?''\n\n\t``You do not need details,'' Leo admonished.\n\n\t``Sure I do,'' Mikey said, gazing at Leo in his most endearing manner. ``You can save it for later if you want to.''\n\n\tThere was a hint of suggestion in his voice that Leo did not fail to catch. Rather than addressing the inuendo, Leo followed a thought of his own. ``I wonder if I had that dream because you and I are together and I was hoping those two could be equally as happy.''\n\n\t``Not gonna happen,'' Mikey said. ``Maybe you were wishing it, but that's not gonna make it come true.''\n\n\t``You don't think we're the reason they argue?'' Leo asked.\n\n\tMikey shooed the idea away with the wave of a hand. ``Nope. They were like this before we became `us'.''\n\n\t``But they both like doing the same things,'' Leo stated. ``They like to watch football, they play video games together, they both enjoy working on our vehicles.''\n\n\t``Raph likes doing that stuff with Casey too, doesn't mean he wants to screw him,'' Mikey said.\n\n\tLeo's face twisted in disgust. ``Ugh, thanks for that mental image.''\n\n\t``You're welcome,'' Mikey said with a grin. He bounced over to the refrigerator. ``They both like those things so naturally they'd do them together. Doesn't mean any more than that.''\n\n\t``Then what about how much more protective Raph is of Donny when we're in a battle?'' Leo asked. ``How he always seems to know exactly where Don is?''\n\n\t``Dude, Raph considers that one of his duties,'' Mikey said. ``It just seems like he's saving Don's bacon more than either of us `cause Don's the one who's usually trying to do some techno magic during a fight. You can focus on the enemy, I can focus on the enemy, but Don has to divide his focus.''\n\n\tThey stopped talking at the sound of a raised voice. ``Ya' let me know when ya' come down off your high horse and maybe I'll think about showing ya' the right way to fix that engine!''\n\n\tRaph was halfway to his room when Don went flying past the kitchen in order to shout, ``The day you can show me anything is the day we switch brains!''\n\n\tStopping in his doorway, Raph turned. ``Ooh, solid comeback! Eat shit and die!''\n\n\tHe entered his room and slammed the door. Leo and Mikey might have been invisible for all Don cared. The genius was as angry as either had ever seen him as he went back to the service bay, muttering invectives aimed at Raph under his breath.\n\n\t``Raph's going to regret that,'' Leo said, a worried expression on his face. ``We all know how painful Don's retaliation is. I hope we haven't made this thing between them worse by being together.''\n\n\t``Nope, wasn't us,'' Mikey assured him. ``You spend too much time practicing, bro'. This is what you've got me for, to enlighten you. Those two wouldn't kiss on a bet, trust me.''\n\n\t``But most of the time they are really good together,'' Leo said. ``I put them together when we patrol because I know Don can temper Raph's rashness.''\n\n\t``Just `cause Don knows how to talk to him when he's about to do something crazy doesn't mean anything more than that,'' Mikey said. ``To quote stats the way Donny does, ninety-four percent of the time they get along. It's the other six percent that's always gonna keep them apart.''\n\n\t``The other six percent being that they sometimes argue?'' Leo asked. ``We sometimes argue.''\n\n\t``The arguing's only a little of the six percent,'' Mikey said. ``The rest is they just don't see each other as anything more than a brother. You don't gotta worry though, they're both honestly happy for us and satisfied with not being like us.''\n\n\t``How do you know?'' Leo gave his brother a suspicious look.\n\n\tMikey grinned and leaned in close. ``'Cause I caught Donny spanking the monkey while staring at Jhanna's hair, and Raph tugging the tiger to one of those girlie magazines he hides in his room.''\n\n\tLeo's eyes narrowed. ``How exactly did you manage to catch them in those very private moments, Michelangelo?''\n\n\tMikey backed up and began pulling chicken from a package. ``I'm nosy,'' he replied with absolutely no shame. He pointed a finger at his brother. ``You should be thanking me. Now you know their preferences. So, no more dreaming about them.''\n\n\t``Tell that to my subconscious,'' Leo said.\n\n\tOnce more Mikey moved in close to press his mouth against the side of Leo's head. ``Hello, subconscious. The only sex dreams you will have from now on will be about me.''\n\n\tA corner of Leo's mouth lifted as Mikey followed the command with a kiss to his neck. ``Do that again at bedtime and it might work.''\n\n\t``Oh, I think I can do better than that at bedtime,'' Mikey replied with a wink.\n\n\tOf that Leo had no doubt.\n\n", "writing_bbcode_parsed": "\t``Ya' know what the trouble with you is?  Ya' think ya' know everything.''

\t``I don't think I know everything, but I certainly know more than you,'' Donatello snapped back.

\t``How'd ya' like to wear that engine mount?'' Raphael growled.

\t``That's right, resort to violence when you can't win an argument any other way,'' Don countered.

\tLeonardo started towards them, but Mikey halted him with a hand on his arm.  ``Shouldn't we put a stop to this?'' Leo asked.

\t``Nah.'' Mikey shook his head.  ``Let them fight. Donny can more than hold his own.  There's not always gonna be someone around to referee; they've gotta work it out by themselves.''

\tHe urged Leo towards the stairs and away from the service bay.  They could still hear their brothers' bickering as they entered the kitchen.

\t``I'm gonna start dinner and you're gonna help,'' Mikey announced.  ``You can cut up some veggies.''

\tLeo dutifully washed his hands, his brow still puckered with concern.  ``It's just that I so rarely hear those two argue.''

\t``Oh, they argue,'' Mikey said.  ``Usually Don says something to pacify Raph and the hot head cools off before he gets too riled up.  If Donny thinks he's right, though, there's no backing down.''

\t``Why don't I know about it?  We've lived together for nearly twenty years,'' Leo said.

\t``'Cause they don't do it in front of you or Sensei,'' Mikey told him.  ``At least they try not to.''

\tLeo began chopping up a pile of carrots.  ``I always believed those two got along the best.  They seem to have the most in common.  In fact, the other night I had this dream. . . .''

\tHe trailed off and Mikey turned to look at him, surprised to see that Leo's face was flushed.

\t``What dream?  Now you gotta tell me,'' Mikey said.  ``Was it raunchy?''

\tHis brother glanced up and rolled his eyes.  ``Why would you immediately go there?''

\t``Oh, I don't know.  Maybe `cause you're totally blushing,'' Mikey said.  ``Tell me the dream.  Tell me, tell me, tell me.''

\tLeo couldn't help but smile.  His brother had a way about him, one that never failed to make Leo give in to his requests.

\t``It was nothing, really.  I think it was my subconscious reacting to things I thought I was seeing,'' Leo said.  ``Things between Raph and Don.  You know, not quite brotherly things.''

\tMikey's eyes widened.  ``Oh!  You mean like those two doing the horizontal tango?  How far did they go in that dream of yours?''

\t``You do not need details,'' Leo admonished.

\t``Sure I do,'' Mikey said, gazing at Leo in his most endearing manner.  ``You can save it for later if you want to.''

\tThere was a hint of suggestion in his voice that Leo did not fail to catch.  Rather than addressing the inuendo, Leo followed a thought of his own.  ``I wonder if I had that dream because you and I are together and I was hoping those two could be equally as happy.''

\t``Not gonna happen,'' Mikey said.  ``Maybe you were wishing it, but that's not gonna make it come true.''

\t``You don't think we're the reason they argue?'' Leo asked.

\tMikey shooed the idea away with the wave of a hand.  ``Nope.  They were like this before we became `us'.''

\t``But they both like doing the same things,'' Leo stated.  ``They like to watch football, they play video games together, they both enjoy working on our vehicles.''

\t``Raph likes doing that stuff with Casey too, doesn't mean he wants to screw him,'' Mikey said.

\tLeo's face twisted in disgust. ``Ugh, thanks for that mental image.''

\t``You're welcome,'' Mikey said with a grin.  He bounced over to the refrigerator.  ``They both like those things so naturally they'd do them together.  Doesn't mean any more than that.''

\t``Then what about how much more protective Raph is of Donny when we're in a battle?''  Leo asked.  ``How he always seems to know exactly where Don is?''

\t``Dude, Raph considers that one of his duties,'' Mikey said.  ``It just seems like he's saving Don's bacon more than either of us `cause Don's the one who's usually trying to do some techno magic during a fight.  You can focus on the enemy, I can focus on the enemy, but Don has to divide his focus.''

\tThey stopped talking at the sound of a raised voice.  ``Ya' let me know when ya' come down off your high horse and maybe I'll think about showing ya' the right way to fix that engine!''

\tRaph was halfway to his room when Don went flying past the kitchen in order to shout, ``The day you can show me anything is the day we switch brains!''

\tStopping in his doorway, Raph turned.  ``Ooh, solid comeback!  Eat shit and die!''

\tHe entered his room and slammed the door.  Leo and Mikey might have been invisible for all Don cared.  The genius was as angry as either had ever seen him as he went back to the service bay, muttering invectives aimed at Raph under his breath.

\t``Raph's going to regret that,'' Leo said, a worried expression on his face.  ``We all know how painful Don's retaliation is.  I hope we haven't made this thing between them worse by being together.''

\t``Nope, wasn't us,'' Mikey assured him.  ``You spend too much time practicing, bro'.  This is what you've got me for, to enlighten you.  Those two wouldn't kiss on a bet, trust me.''

\t``But most of the time they are really good together,'' Leo said.  ``I put them together when we patrol because I know Don can temper Raph's rashness.''

\t``Just `cause Don knows how to talk to him when he's about to do something crazy doesn't mean anything more than that,'' Mikey said.  ``To quote stats the way Donny does, ninety-four percent of the time they get along.  It's the other six percent that's always gonna keep them apart.''

\t``The other six percent being that they sometimes argue?'' Leo asked.  ``We sometimes argue.''

\t``The arguing's only a little of the six percent,'' Mikey said.  ``The rest is they just don't see each other as anything more than a brother.  You don't gotta worry though, they're both honestly happy for us and satisfied with not being like us.''

\t``How do you know?''  Leo gave his brother a suspicious look.

\tMikey grinned and leaned in close.  ``'Cause I caught Donny spanking the monkey while staring at Jhanna's hair, and Raph tugging the tiger to one of those girlie magazines he hides in his room.''

\tLeo's eyes narrowed.  ``How exactly did you manage to catch them in those very private moments, Michelangelo?''

\tMikey backed up and began pulling chicken from a package.  ``I'm nosy,'' he replied with absolutely no shame.  He pointed a finger at his brother.  ``You should be thanking me.  Now you know their preferences.  So, no more dreaming about them.''

\t``Tell that to my subconscious,'' Leo said.

\tOnce more Mikey moved in close to press his mouth against the side of Leo's head.  ``Hello, subconscious.  The only sex dreams you will have from now on will be about me.''

\tA corner of Leo's mouth lifted as Mikey followed the command with a kiss to his neck.  ``Do that again at bedtime and it might work.''

\t``Oh, I think I can do better than that at bedtime,'' Mikey replied with a wink.

\tOf that Leo had no doubt.

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