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A story of two witchers, brothers-by-choice, and their fight against evil.

Originally this was going to be the whole thing, but I still have ideas to play with so. I'm thinking two, maybe three more chapters?

Hades belongs to \r\n\t\t\t\t\t\r\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\r\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\r\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\r\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\r\n\t\t\t\t\t\t
\r\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t
\r\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\tTheHades\r\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t
\r\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t		\r\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\tTheHades\r\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t
, who is an amazing artist and friend and deserves all your love, so go give your love there.", "writing": "Chapter One: Witcher Problems\n~Zerrex Narrius\n\n\n\n“How did we end up in this situation, again?” asked the black wolf hanging from the rusty shackles chained to the wall. He asked this to his large lizard companion in a voice that made it very clear he was absolutely aware of how and rather was assigning blame to the who who had gotten them into this particular predicament.\n\n“Well,” his companion, a taller, thicker-built lizard answered obliviously, “I think it started when we were told about that job in the moor.”\n\n“Uh huh.” the wolf slowly closed his eyes: distinct, orange, almost animal, the common mutation of all their kind. Just like his friend's. \n\nWitchers.\n\nHis pointed lack of enthusiasm, however, was unique to him.\n\nHis fellow Witcher nodded, almost solemnly, as if he wasn't aware of his compatriot's obvious displeasure. “It sounded easy enough. Livestock being killed, graves dug up, standard monster attacks. Ended up being spiky ghouls-”\n\n“Alghouls. Vesemir would smack you every time you called them 'spiky ghouls' and you still haven't learned a ploughin' thing, Zerrex!”\n\n“All that did was smack it into my head that they're called spiky ghouls. You know me, Hades. Hitting me doesn't do anything.” the reptile answered with a shrug and a wry smile. “But the spiky ghouls-”\n\n“Alghouls.”\n\n“-spiky ghouls, the spiky ghouls, uh, we found they had been attracted by a pit full of dead people. Should have been a tipoff it was a trap but-”\n\nHades snorted. “You had to play hero.”\n\n“And you were the one who decided to use Igni on the corpses” Zerrex replied pointedly. “Gas didn't knock us out, though. The alchemist's fire did.”\n\n“Can't you just say 'bomb' like everyone else?” Hades sighed, rolling his eyes beneath his dark curtain of hair.\n\n“Well, it was an alchemist who bombed us, so that makes it reasonable to say it was alchemist's fire.” Zerrex answered rationally, and Hades side-eyed him and flexed his fingers moodily flexed, wishing he had just a little more slack so he could send just a touch of Igni in Zerrex's direction. “And now we're here. The alchemist took blood samples from us and is probably going to kill and dissect us.”\n\n“Aye, and not soon enough, lads, I'm sick of all yer bitchin'!” snapped the sulking guard at the table on the other side of the bars, who was grumpily trying to read a book by the dim light of a torch. “His lordship promised me I could tie the noose myself!”\n\n“Ah, the classic.” Hades remarked dryly.\n\n“Well, sire, then you'll be pleased to hear that the noose will be specifically used to suffocate you, rather than break your neck.” The guard swept up the torch and approached the cell, banging the torch into the bars and sending a puff of embers towards the witchers. “And the other one is going to be drowned in a tub!”\n\nThe light danced across their bodies: the toned, athletic, strong form of Hades, and the muscular, larger physique of the lizard; one furred in charcoal, with his blacker mane of hair, the other with emerald scales that turned to blue across his chest, white hair decorating both his masculine form as well as falling past his shoulders, loose and dirty.\n\nThey were both completely naked, stripped of even their valued medallions. To Hades' distaste, he noticed immediately that the rat guard was actually wearing one of them, saying moodily: “You know that witchers don't look kindly on their possessions being worn like trophies. And the rest of the world doesn't look kindly on witchers.”\n\n“Ooh, I'm so scared.” sneered the rat. “Ploughin' witchers! Still tryin' to be cocky even when you're set to be killed and chopped up for his lordship's entertainment!”\n\n“I guess we know which of us is going to be hung.” Zerrex remarked, and Hades and the guard both looked at him before the reptile pointedly rocked his hips, making his surprisingly-large, black-fleshed member swing like a pendulum: “It's me, because see, I'm already hung.”\n\n“Oh for fuck's sake.” Hades groaned, as the rat rolled his eyes and spat to the side in disgust. “Just stab me and be done with it now, please.”\n\n“Can't do, friend, or believe me, I'd have beaten you both out of my misery long ago. His lordship wants you for his alchemy, and says we're not to damage the 'goods.'”\n\n“Well my goods-”\n\n“Shut up, please just shut up.” Hades interrupted grouchily, and then he scowled and added: “By the way, this isn't the way, I wanted to die, and I swear if we get out of this I'll make sure you never forget it.”\n\nZerrex only shrugged amiably, and then, as the guard began to turn away, he called: “Hey, wait! I have a last request!”\n\nThe guard snorted, looking over his shoulder and retorting: “Oh, is that so, m'lord? Whatever can do for you sire, you want a last meal, or-”\n\n“I want to jerk off one last time.” Zerrex said bluntly.\n\nHades' eye twitched before he glare at him, and the rat guard gave a chortle, turning fully towards the bars as he blurted out: “What?”\n\n“I want to masturbate.” The lizard looked at the guard seriously, captured his attention with his eyes, as his fingers subtly shifted, and Hades muttered under his breath. “Look, it's easy. Just undo one of these shackles-”\n\n“Y-Yeah... no, no. No! I can't do that.” the rat blurted out, although he looked almost... confused, as if he was trying to remember why that was a bad idea.\n\n“Well, then you should jerk me off instead.” Zerrex reasoned with a pointed tilt of his head, and oh, Hades hated everything about this as he pursed his lips, but kept his mouth shut as he quickly formed a Sign with his fingers.\n\n“I mean, you have to honor his last request. And it's not like either of us are going to be able to tell anyone about it.” Hades added, trying not to sound annoyed as all hell.\n\nZerrex nodded, adding pleasantly: “My friend here jerks me off all the time and he loves it! I bet you will too!”\n\nHades face puckered as he shot a horrible look at Zerrex, who gave a grin in return, and then the wolf managed through bared teeth: “Yes. Love it.”\n\n“I... well... yes...” the rat mumbled after a moment, grasping at his belt for his keys. He pulled one loose, opening the door to the cell to let himself inside, where he dropped the torch on the floor in almost the same moment he fell to his knees, staring at the reptile's cock as he mumbled: “Ploughin' madness. Big as a dragon! Can't believe you... would...”\n\nHe gripped that dark flesh, and the reptile closed his eyes, tilting his head back as Hades grimaced and turned away, but of course his eyes flicked towards the show, shifting his thighs together awkwardly as the lizard encouraged: “Take your time. I know it's a lot to handle.”\n\n“Fuck.” Hades muttered.\n\n“No, just a handie. Would be rude to ask for more.” Zerrex said glibly, before he muttered, as the rat almost anxiously took that member in both hands, squeezing the veiny, dark-fleshed shaft. It throbbed and thickened in his grip, fattening, and the rat stared in disbelief at how fat and heavy it was becoming.\n\n“Ploughin' hell...”\n\nZerrex grinned wryly, and then he sighed as Hades made a frustrated noise at him, the lizard grumbling: “Oh, as if you're not enjoying the show.”\n\n“Big as me arm!”\n\n“Can you just... hurry up?” Hades complained, and Zerrex sighed as the rat shook himself briefly, then looked up almost in confusion as his hands loosened their grip on the reptile's half-erect shaft. \n\n“Sorry.” Zerrex apologized, before he suddenly twisted his hips to one side, then hard back, swinging his cock like a meaty baseball bat into the face of the guard. It struck with a strangely-satisfying, wet smack, the guard gargling in shock as the force of the blow knocked him sprawling-\n\nHades sharply kicked a leg out, the rat's head impacting his shin, and if the initial blow hadn't knocked him senseless, than the force of skull against bone was enough to finish the job and knock him completely unconscious. \n\nThe wolf quickly brought up his other leg, catching the knocked-out guard in a scissors between his shins. Then he shot a horrible glare at Zerrex, who only looked mildly back at the wolf before he noted: “Hey, I'm the one who's gonna be blueballed here, as far as I'm concerned I just took one for the team.”\n\n“Fucking fuck.” Hades grumbled, the wolf rolling his eyes and trying to ignore his own aching balls as he muttered: “Should have just let them drown you.”\n\n“Hung me. Because I'm-”\n\n“Hung, yes, I get the joke.” Hades grumbled again as he gritted his teeth, squeezing his grip into the chains he was hanging by. They were still biting painfully into his wrist, but he concentrated on what he was doing with his legs for now and ignored the ache, hooking a leg under the armpit of the unconscious guard and letting his weight shift to that side, so he could hook the other down as well.\n\nThen, with a grunt of effort, he carefully hoisted the rat towards him: his head lolling forwards and nearly smacking into his groin really didn't help matters much, but Hades kept his mind focused as he rocked his hips, bucking the rat into the air, tossing him forwards bit-by-bit until he was between his thighs, and then he gritted his teeth as he carefully hefted the guard's body between his legs as he growled: “Ploughin' bastard weighs a ton!”\n\n“Lift with your back, not your knees.” Zerrex quipped, and Hades shot him a look as the reptile stretched one of his own legs out: one thick toeclaw slipped upwards, hooking onto the keyring around the rat's belt, and then he gave a quick nod, and Hades simply let the guard's unconscious body drop to the floor with a thump.\n\nThe ring tore off, nearly bouncing loose from the reptile's toeclaws, but the lizard managed to quickly raise his foot, the keys jangling but then settling. The lizard wheezed a sigh of relief, then shifted sideways slightly, while Hades was already rolling the unconscious rat under him so he could stand on his chest, giving himself the extra bit of slack he needed from his chains.\n\nWhy he needed this slack was made apparently as Zerrex lifted his foot high, the wolf grumbling as it nearly pushed into his face before his fellow witcher tossed the keys up off his toeclaws, and Hades caught the ring in one hand, then quickly reached across and undid a manacle. A second later, he was completely free, dropping his back against the bars of the narrow cell with a sigh before he looked up as Zerrex cleared his throat loudly.\n\nHe stared at the wolf, who only looked back at him for a few moments before the reptile said bluntly: “I'll scream.”\n\n“I bet you will.” Hades muttered, and then he finally sighed before stepping forwards. He pointedly shoved a paw against the reptile's crotch, using that ridiculous cock of his almost like a stepladder as the lizard grunted, the wolf's free hand squeezing his bicep as he lifted himself up to level with the lizard's raised arms. “Why do you have to be built like a leshen?”\n\n“Made of hard wood?”\n\n“More like strung out like sticks.” Hades undid both manacles, and then hopped down as Zerrex brought his hands down and rubbed at his wrists with visible relief. “How are we getting out of here?”\n\n“This isn't the first fortress we've escaped.” Zerrex noted, and Hades grumbled as he bent down, taking the medallion off the rat's neck, then drawing the guard's sword. He tossed it in the air and caught it, point-down towards the rat's neck, but the lizard cleared his throat and said mildly: “He got cockslapped unconscious. Do you really think he's going to be eager to come help his friends chase us down?”\n\nOkay. That was a good point. But all the same Hades hesitated before he straightened and instead moodily toyed with the edge of the short sword, asking: “You aren't going to stop me from killing everyone, are you?”\n\n“Oh no, not at all. But I think we should try and get our stuff back before we mount any assaults. I don't want another scar on my penis.” Zerrex said mildly as he pointed at himself, and Hades snorted and gave a wry smile.\n\n“Good point. But you're the one who's more likely to alert the guards, you lummox.”\n\n“True, I'm not sneaky in the shadows like you.” the lizard replied amiably, and Hades huffed. “Tell you what, I'll let you take the lead.”\n\nHades nodded as they left the cell: their primal eyes adjusted quickly to the lack of light in this dreary dungeon as the wolf squeezed his medallion slowly in his hand, holding it so he could feel the slightest twitch or vibration: the last thing he wanted was for that asshole alchemist to ambush them because he happened to be on the way down to question them.\n\nZerrex followed: close, but not so close as to crowd his fellow witcher. With all the time they had worked together, they understood how one-another liked to operate, and it made situations like this much more tenable. \n\nHades slipped out into the hall, which was as dimly-lit as the cell room had been. He moved silently, with the lizard in tow almost as quiet, only the click of his heavy claws on the stone making any noise.\n\nThe only sounds were the whimpers and growls, and occasional sobs, that came from what appeared to be other cells lining the corridor. Some of them sounded animals, others insane; the tingle of his amulet told Hades that many of these prisoners had been experimented on in some way or another with magic. \n\nHe saw one guard, who was peeking into a cell, grinning to himself: in a flash, Hades crossed the distance towards him and jammed the sword into the vulnerable opening in his breastplate beneath his arm, tearing between his ribs and piercing almost to the other side of his body with almost surgical precision.\n\nThe guard collapsed backwards, a dull look of surprise on his face: before his corpse hit the ground, Zerrex gently caught it and lowered it quickly but gently as Hades yanked his sword free and flicked blood off it. \n\nThe reptile stepped on the fallen torch and snuffed it out with a twist of his foot, and Hades turned his eyes back ahead as he muttered: “Careful. I hear voices ahead.”\n\n“Two, I think.” Zerrex confirmed as they moved down the corridor, before they both paused at an ajar door, flickering light gleaming through the crack.\n\nHades leaned forwards and peeked in, and made a moue of distaste as he saw a pair of guards standing over a table, playing with some of their equipment. “Lookit me, I'm a witcher now!” exclaimed one cheerfully, as he waved Hades' steel sword through the air.\n\n“I'd prefer to be richer over a witcher.” remarked the second, as he scowled at the leather vest in his hands. “Would you just look at this thing? Could use it as a soddin' tent!”\n\n“Ploughin' hell, mate, didn't you see those freaks? Probably them witcher potions that made him big as a house! You could do with a bit o' that yourself!”\n\nHis friend grumbled as he waved away the tip of the sword the other guard poked at him with, tossing down the vest before he began rifling through the rest of the belts and leather armor. “As if Gorrander will let us near those potions. Madman is probably going to want us to kidnap more locals now to feed those brews to and see what happens.”\n\n“I'll get the moron with my sword. You take the other one.” Hades muttered, and without needing to wait for acknowledgment, he sprang in, a black blur that launched a metallic streak sharply into the throat of the guard.\n\nHe struck so quickly that the guard's body reacted with shock, swinging his arms out and taking a surprised step back even as his head whirled into the air, flipping wildly out of control before falling with a thunk to the ground, followed a moment later by the collapse of the headless corpse. \n\nMeanwhile, Zerrex had already seized the other guard by the head and slammed him roughly back into the wall with a satisfying clang, leaving a large dent in his helmet before he allowed the drooling henchman to collapse in a broken heap.\n\n“Didn't kill him?” Hades asked, almost disapproving.\n\n“Might want to question him if his brain isn't entirely scrambled. I want to know more about this alchemist.”\n\n“It's an alchemist, Zerrex. You saw his band of bandits on the way in-”\n\n“Band-its. Get it?”\n\n“-and they don't look any different from your standard thugs. Mercenaries and thieves and slaves, probably. Plus whatever bodyguard he's cooked up.”\n\nZerrex grunted as he dug through the table alongside his friend, absently sorting out their piles of gear. “True. But I'd like to know if it's a golem or just a guy he's dumped a lot of potions into.”\n\n“We're going to kill it either way.”\n\n“Well, yes...” Zerrex paused and meditatively picked up his own steel sword, noting: “But it looks like he's taken all our silver.”\n\nHades only gave Zerrex a look and a smile, however, and the lizard scowled after a moment before he touched the distinctive tattoo on his chest, muttering: “Oh balls.”\n\nIt only took them a few minutes to suit back up: Hades, in his more traditional witcher armor, his equipment bags repacked and neatly secured, while Zerrex had a slightly more 'exotic' look with a one-armed vest and a long sleeve attached by belts to the other, nipple peeking out from the open arm when he flexed and moved.\n\nHades gave him a wry look, and Zerrex shrugged before he defended: “Keeps me cool.”\n\n“You wish.” Hades answered, and Zerrex grumbled as he sheathed his steel sword. “You ready?”\n\n“How do you want to do this?”\n\nThat was a good question, Hades thought as he pushed his hands together and bowed his head forwards, thinking. His medallion, back in place around his neck, hummed faintly: he didn't think they were quite in danger yet, but it was definitely encouraging him to move a little faster.\n\n“We stay quiet as long as possible.” Hades looked at the unconscious guard, then kicked him hard in the stomach, waking him up with a gargle and wheeze before his fingers sharply formed the Sign for Axii. “Who runs this base?”\n\nThe guard stared up at him as he gasped for breath for a moment, his eyes gleaming with the power of the Sign before he answered in a mumble: “Gorrander... Lord Gorrander. Alchemist...”\n\n“What is he doing here?” Zerrex questioned.\n\n“Experiments... immortality... fisstech...”\n\n“Ah, the usual then.”\n\nHades ignored Zerrex's wry remark, asking calmly: “How many people does he have working for him here?”\n\n“Don't know... twenty of us? Slaves... the Fat Cow...”\n\n“Fat Cow?”\n\nThe drooling guard only stared at them blankly, and Zerrex and Hades traded looks before the reptile shrugged, and Hades ordered: “Sleep.”\n\n“Sleep.” mumbled the thug, before he slid down and seemed to pass out almost immediately. \n\n“Sounds like a golem. We'd better be ready. But not as many bandits as I thought.”\n\n“Small operation. Embarrassing that he caught us.”\n\n“Well, when we tell stories about it later we can make it an even hundred.”\n\nHades grunted, although not really in disagreement. He automatically took point again: the best thing they could do was stay quiet, and maybe they could slip past the rest of these thugs, or at the least take out a few more bandits before they set off any alarms.\n\nHades took point again, and Zerrex followed cautiously behind him; when they reached an intersection, they split up without needing to discuss it, Hades heading straight on and Zerrex turning the bend.\n\nThe lizard found a thug slumped in a chair next to a door: he was able to move up silently, and by the time the bandit looked up, it was too late. A moment later, the thug was on the ground in a broken heap and Zerrex was brushing his hands off before he leaned in and peeked through the bars of the door.\n\nStorehouse. The door didn't really want to give at first, but that was a problem solved by simply applying more force, and the old handle snapped off in his grip, the locking mechanism clunking to pieces inside.\n\nEver a packrat, the lizard wiggled his fingers as his eyes flicked back and forth before he quickly picked his way through the supply shelves: they were sparse – he wasn't exactly interested in most of the traps and munitions they thought were worth keeping under lock and key, after all – but there were at least a few useful components here. \n\nThe reptile's hands worked quickly, rapidly assembling a simplified bomb from the materials he had found as he returned to the intersection: there, he found Hades already impatiently waiting for him, the wolf gesturing sharply with his head. “Found the way up. I see you've been amusing yourself.” \n\n“Better safe than sorry, right?” Zerrex remarked, tossing the bomb easily up and down like it was a toy and not a shrapnel-laden explosive.\n\nHades gave him a pointed look, and Zerrex shrugged before he caught the bomb one last time, then handed it over. The wolf felt it in his hand, squeezing it slowly as his fingers automatically found the short fuse.\n\nThey headed back the way Hades had indicated, and he gestured silently: a staircase, past an open archway that conversation was filtering out of. Hades squeezed the bomb, but Zerrex shook his head at the gesture before he pointed at his eyes.\n\nFair. They would check it out first. Maybe there was a quieter way to deal with things.\n\nThey reached the archway and both witchers leaned out, familiar bodies pressed almost together as they peeked around the corner. Three more guards in what looked like a bunk room of some sort... no, four, there was someone snoring under a blanket in one of the beds.\n\nFour was easy. The problem was they were right next to the staircase leading up to the main house, and if there were guards up there, they could hear the commotion and set off an alarm. But on the other hand, if they didn't deal with these mercenaries now, they'd undoubtedly become a problem sooner or later.\n\n“Remember when those Scoia'tel ambushed us and that one elf on the cliff thought you couldn't reach him?” Zerrex muttered in Hades' ear, and Hades scowled horribly, then sighed tiredly before he tucked the bomb away in a safe pocket.\n\n“This is a stupid idea.” he growled under his breath.\n\n“And?”\n\n“...fuck.”\n\nHades shifted backwards, pressing back against the wall and tensing his body. Zerrex grinned, grasping the wolf's arm, and he readied himself before the smaller witcher gave a short nod, leaping in the air and slamming his paws against the hard surface as Zerrex wrenched him through the air in a satellite throw, flinging him hard into the room beyond.\n\nWithout their enhanced senses, this would be impossible: instead, Hades was able to sharply twist his body around and slam both feet into the face of one of the mercs at the table before he even knew what was going on, sprawling backwards in a fine spray of blood. Even before he hit the ground Hades had already used the force of his kick off the grunt's face to fly past a second half-armored soldier, catching him with a flying arm hook that yanked him out of his seat.\n\nThe third at the table began to stand, only to be caught around the neck by Zerrex, who almost casually hefted him out of his chair as he headed past to the back of the room, holding him in a chokehold as he approached the surprised guard sitting up in his bunk.\n\nZerrex looked down at him, and the naked fox stared back up before he made a wild grab at the sword by his head, but the lizard seized him by the head and slammed his skull back against the wall before letting him slump back in the bed in a drooling heap.\n\nA moment later, he dropped the grunt he'd choked out, as Hades rubbed his head with a grimace as he straightened, standing over the possibly-dead mercenary he'd clotheslined into the ground. He scowled at Zerrex, but the lizard only shrugged before he noted: “You want to try and throw me again?”\n\n“I'll throw you off a cliff.” Hades grumbled, and Zerrex only shrugged before they headed out of the room, the wolf muttering: “Four more down; that should be half their security force, right?”\n\n“Hell if I know. Every time we think something's going according to plan, after all...”\n\n“Good point.\n\nThey headed up the stairs, and cracked the door ajar: even the peek allowed Hades to see the fortress wasn't in great condition. There was a guard beside the door, but that was dealt with by cracking it a little wider, then yanking the dozing mercenary through the crack before he even knew what was happening.\n\nHades and Zerrex emerged out of the dungeon, quickly taking in their surroundings: dirty, ugly stone, the classic hideout. Not that Kaer Morhen was in much better condition, but at least they tried to fix up their castle a little.\n\nThe two witchers focused, listening in different directions before Hades felt a tingle at his neck. The gentlest of sizzles, and the wolf gestured towards an archway, muttering: “Sense of magic in this direction. Can hear something too. Maybe not people, though.”\n\n“Let's find out.” Zerrex said, and Hades had to agree.\n\nThey moved deeper into the fortress, and quickly found their way to a laboratory full of bubbling beakers and strange equipment, some of which they recognized from Kaer Morhen's potion labs, and others which were foreign even to them. It seemed like an eclectic mix of magical equipment and the kind of showy stuff that charlatans often used to fence their wares: then again, that didn't entirely mean anything. Sometimes you needed more flash than sizzle to sell a product.\n\nThe lizard started towards a shelf full of reagents and components, but Hades caught him by the arm, saying mildly: “I wouldn't do that if I were you.” \n\nZerrex took a second look at the shelf and realized quickly there was a thin sheet of some kind over it, almost indiscernible even to his eyes: but once he saw it, he was also able to make out the faint shape of magic runes, painted in some sort of reactive ink.\n\n“Ah. Those look like they would hurt.”\n\n“Yes. More importantly, they'll set off an alarm.”\n\n“Glad you care, Hades, your empathy is your best quality.”\n\n“Do you recognize any of this equipment?” \n\n“Hey, you were the potions expert, not me.” Zerrex paused, then walked over to one of the tables, frowning as he studied one of the bubbling beakers. Yes, it was true, Hades was better at making potions, but... “Smells like he's extracting something from flesh. Probably... elven in nature.”\n\nHades grimaced, then muttered: “You spend too much time with monsters, eating people.”\n\n“It's rude not to accept a meal from friends.” Zerrex answered. He checked the equipment quickly, then both he and Hades followed a row of beakers to their terminus: another vial where now-ocher fluids were dripping into. \n\nZerrex's muzzle wrinkled up, before he muttered: “Five orens says it's an 'extract of immortality.'”\n\n“Fits, considering what it sounds like he wanted from us.” Hades agreed, before both the witchers looked up sharply at a slow clapping.\n\nTheir eyes locked on a slender fox dressed in robes of far foreign weave and an ornate silver mask, exotic charms hanging from his sleeves and around his neck. The mask left enough of his muzzle uncovered they could clearly see his smile, and how it didn't reach his callous green eyes as he glared daggers into them from beyond an archway at the far end of the room.\n\nEyes with a hint of other color in it, like unfinished, or unsuccessful mutation.\n\n“Looks like somebody's already been sampling his own stash.” Zerrex noted, and Hades snorted as he drew his sword and readied himself, already sensing the ambush lumbering in from behind them.\n\n“I'd love to chat with you about my discoveries, but somehow I doubt you'd understand: witchers and sorceresses and all your ilk seem highly protective of your secrets. Which I would understand better, if I were not offering to improve them. Ah, a bit of time with you, witchers, and I could easily fix your numbed emotions, your sterility, all your flaws...”\n\n“Is that before or after you drown us like kittens in a tub?” Hades growled.\n\nThe alchemist replied with a patronizing smile and a chuckle, answering: “Well, that wouldn't be necessary if you'd submit to my work, but we all know you won't do that, will you? Now, if you'll excuse me, I'll leave you to my servant. Don't worry about the equipment: this stage dressing has already served its purpose.”\n\nHades rose his hand, sharply forming the Aard Sign, but the thunderous blast of force crashed into an invisible barrier that blocked the arch. Obviously a magical forcefield of some kind, but there was no time to dissect or dispel it as a stomping from behind them drew their attention. \n\nHades and Zerrex both winced at the hulking mass that lumbered through the doorway: a minotaur, but one whose impressive bulk had been further augmented by heavy steel plating that had been grafted across its body. The monster groaned as its massive hooves crushed across the floor times, chipped crescent blade of its massive executioner's axe sending up sparks as it ground against the floor.\n\n“Guess he's not concerned about taking us in one piece anymore, huh?” Zerrex muttered as he drew his sword, grimacing as the bull-beast focused on them with a snort of steam that made the ring in its nostrils jangle against the mask of metal covering the monster's face.\n\n“What, you're not going to try and talk this one down?” Hades asked wryly, and the lizard tilted his head towards him as a slight grin crested his muzzle.\n\n“I'm not against violence, Hades, it's just that every problem isn't a nail, mister hammerhead.” \n\nBefore Hades could retort, the minotaur suddenly stormed forwards with a mooing roar, swinging its blade around in a clumsy overhead arc. Both Hades and Zerrex intercepted it, swords crossing, and yet even working together they were both almost knocked flat by the force of the rough chop.\n\nThe minotaur snorted as he leaned against the haft of his axe: his muscles bulged with power, making the steel plates that covered his body separate slightly, revealing hairless flesh and surgical scars. His joints were pink and sinewy, gleaming in the light as if his skin had been scraped off and replaced with rubber.\n\nSuddenly, he stepped back as he yanked the axe away before swinging the heavy weapon sideways: Hades ducked as Zerrex dodged backwards, then whistled at the minotaur as he shouted: “Hey, come and pick on someone your own size!”\n\nIf nothing else, it worked, the bull snorting as he crashed forwards, carelessly swinging his axe back an forth in wide, heavy arcs at the reptile, smashing a set of beakers as the lizard dodged backwards before the reptile grunted with the effort it took to deflect a swing of the axe and send it chopping into the table behind him instead. \n\nHades slipped around behind the beast and grit his teeth at the sight: the minotaur's back wasn't just armored, he had some kind of jangling shield chained into his back, protecting his spine and making it impossible to get a clean blow at his neck. He also didn't have the time to analyze too much, as Zerrex gagged when the minotaur suddenly reached a hand out and seized him by the throat, shoving him back onto the table even as the lizard swung his steel sword against the monster's chest... and it did nothing but clang off the metal breast of the hulking beast.\n\nHades leapt in and chopped hard at the back of the minotaur's knee, and the beast howled in pain as the wolf moved in a quick pirouette, narrowly avoiding both a wide swing of the axe, and the body of the lizard as the minotaur hurled the other witcher through the air and sent him smashing through an array of beakers and tubes, glass and concoctions spraying in every direction as he tumbled over the table.\n\nThe minotaur advanced on Hades, and the witcher allowed himself to be pressed backwards; he shifted out of the way of each hard chop of the beast's axe, retaliating with quick cuts of his sword, but the strikes barely made a scratch against the minotaur's armored chest.\n\nHades finally managed a hard upwards stab as he reached the other end of the room, piercing the soft underside of the minotaur's muzzle. But even through the spray of blood, the minotaur gave a raspy moo of pain as he swung his arm out and smashed Hades back against the wall before he speared the butt of his axe into his chest, pinning him like a bug.\n\nHades gargled, baring his teeth in agony as he felt his armor dent inwards, the wall cracking as he was forced bodily upwards as the minotaur grasped the handle of his axe and pushed harder into the witcher's chest-\n\nStrong arms seized around the minotaur's waist, then twisted him hard to the side, yanking him away from Hades and slinging him into one of the stacked shelves: the moment the minotaur collided with it, magical energy erupted across his body as a wail blared through the room, Zerrex and Hades both flinching at the noise.\n\nThe minotaur dropped his heavy axe as he tore himself away from the shelf with a snort and groan, and almost on reflex, Hades formed the Sign of Igni and sent a blast of flame into the metal breastplate grafted to the minotaur's body. The plates, already seared by magic, were superheated by the spell, the bull-beast clawing at his own chest before he dropped his head and simply charged.\n\nZerrex cursed, fingers forming Quen as he sidestepped in front of Hades, then caught the bull by the horns and gritted his teeth as he was crushed back into the wall. Pain seared through his body, but it wasn't from the impact: that was muted, compared to the feeling of the magic sigil tattooed on his chest burning, and his scales grinding against one-another as they hardened like steel.\n\nThe bull crushed against him, and the lizard wheezed as his grip tightened on the horns before he drove a knee upwards into the beast's steaming chest, and then he kicked hard down into his knee. The first hit was useless, but the second caused the bull's leg to buckle, the minotaur almost falling to a kneel.\n\nHades saw his chance: he leapt onto the minotaur's angled back, then half-fell as he jammed his sword straight down, spearing between grafted metal skull and the heavy shield protecting his back.\n\nThe bull-beast gave another of its discordant moos, heavy, armored body flexing and shaking before it collapsed to its knees. Hades winced as he tumbled off its back, and Zerrex gasped as he shoved the beast's head aside and he fell to the side on his ass as well.\n\nThe witchers sat for a few moments, and then Zerrex grimaced as his scales relaxed before he winced as he hugged himself, tucking his bleeding hands under his armpits as he muttered: “Guess that was the Fat Cow, huh?”\n\n“I hope it was the Fat Cow.” Hades grumbled as he stood up with the help of his sword, pausing to wipe it against his pantleg. Perhaps the faintest hint of worry passed over his features before he said grumpily: “At least this time you didn't catch the monster with your face. Let's find you some bandages.” \n\nZerrex smiled despite himself, then said wryly: “Glad to know you care. Let's be fast, though, don't want that asshole catching on that we dealt with his bully.”\n\nHades only grunted in response as he sheathed his weapon, then cast his eyes across the wrecked laboratory. It gave him a bad feeling that the alchemist had been willing to abandon all this equipment: after all, even if a lot of it was just for show, it was a lot to surrender...\n\nWell, either way there was a quick way to solve that problem, wasn't there? \n\nHe still took his time to make sure he found some strong cloth, and that he properly bandaged Zerrex's hands. The lizard sat quietly for it, not making any snide remarks, only smiling a little before he said softly, as the wolf finished securing the last of the bandaging: “Remember how I broke my fingers?”\n\n“Oh, don't worry, Zerrex, I don't think anyone could forget that.” Hades remarked with a slight smile despite himself.\n\nThat had been back when they had been kids. During that stupid test, climbing the mountain, trying to sneak around the old brute of an ogre, Old Speartip. Of course he'd been awake during their trial, and of course Zerrex had stupidly decided the best course of action was to try and lure the cyclops away.\n\nPredictably, as a dumb child with no real life experience, he succeeded only in drawing Old Speartip towards him. The lizard ended up cornered, barely escaping into a low vent even as Hades shouted and swore and threw rocks from a high ledge.\n\nIt had been twenty uncomfortable minutes. And again, as a stupid child with no real experience in things, once it had gone quiet Zerrex had started to crawl his way out of the crack in the rocks, and Old Speartip had come leaping around the corner.\n\nZerrex learned that day how hard it was to crawl backwards. And how much it hurt to have a cyclops stomp on your hands.\n\nThe worst part had been the malice: Old Speartip seemed to delight in the screams of pain as Zerrex had yanked his hands back under the rock, and the ogroid had lingered, relishing Zerrex's agony as Hades had shouted and sworn at him from above furiously. But after a few minutes Old Speartip had wandered off, chuckling and please with himself.\n\nGiant asshole.\n\nThe rest of the climb had been miserable. Zerrex was thankful he and Hades were able to be there for each other, and still had a lot of gratitude for the male who always seemed to be there for him, to bandage him up after he did some stupid-ass thing, who was willing to help another witcher with broken hand finish his climb to the top of the mountain to claim his medallion.\n\nHades finished tying off the bandages, and the lizard flexed his fingers. If only he'd broken them after he'd become a witcher, then they wouldn't hurt so damn much.\n\n“Ready?” Hades asked.\n\nZerrex nodded, pausing only to grin and kick his fallen sword up to his hand with a wink, and Hades rolled his eyes as the lizard spun the blade before sheathing it. “We've got an alchemist to turn into a potion. And I guess we should get our stuff back, too.”\n\nHades sighed, then led the way to the shielded archway. The two studied it for a few moments, and then Zerrex noted: “I bet there's a way to turn it on and off at will. Maybe a password, or touching the stones in order.”\n\n“It's definitely built into the archway.” Hades said, and he and Zerrex traded looks before they both drew their swords and stabbed them into either side of the arch, prying into the bricks on either side of the doorway.\n\nMagic flashed and sparked, a piercing scream making both witchers wince before they managed to pop loose their bricks at almost the same time, and then they quickly leapt backwards, Hades shifting out of the way and Zerrex covering his face as the doorway half-collapsed and half-exploded as the magic circuit was interrupted. \n\nThey were left standing in front of a sizzling hole, their medallions vibrating intensely before they slowly calmed, the two looking down the hall beyond as a last few sizzles of magic crackled along the edge of the shattered doorway.\n\n“He's going to hear us coming.” noted Zerrex.\n\n“Then let's not keep him waiting.” Hades answered.\n\nThe halls beyond had been reinforced, and they were able to follow the construction to a wing of the fortress that looked like excavated wreckage. Had this been the workshop of some previous alchemist or sorcerer, or was it the result of their new friend's various 'experiments?'\n\n“Crazy mage. Why are the ones who make potions always crazy?”\n\n“Carelessness while handling toxic chemicals. We're mutants and we still get drunk and crazy from half the things we stick our hands into.”\n\n“As long as you aren't sticking your dick in it.” Hades muttered.\n\nZerrex huffed, but before he could retort, they both heard a shift: in a flash, the two had their swords at the ready, even as a single mercenary jumped out from around a corner and swung at them with his own blade.\n\nHis head was off even before his own sword made contact with Zerrex's, who deflected the blade sharply down. Body and head tumbled to the floor, and Hades grimaced: was that someone who had been sent out to meet them, or had he just stumbled across their path?\n\nThe door he'd popped out led to a stairway, and they hurried up the twisting steps into a squat tower. Now, finally, they could both feel the tingle of magic in their medallions as well as hear conversation ahead.\n\n“-ready, idiots. They'll be here soon. Now, I've given you both amulets that should negate or reflect their magic.” Definitely the alchemist. “Do not underestimate them!”\n\n“Funny, coming from you!” Zerrex said loudly, before he muttered to a glaring Hades: “Bomb.”\n\nEven the wolf had to smile at this, as Zerrex sauntered down the hall, and the smaller male followed, palming the bomb out of one of his sidepacks and holding it behind his back.\n\nZerrex strode into the doorway and leaned it in with that big shit-eating grin of his. The one that always drove Hades crazy, because if there was one thing he was good at, it was provoking people. “So hey there. Sorry about your cow, but if you wanna join us on the way out we can make it up with a pony ride instead.”\n\n“Witchers. Good.” The alchemist gestured across the open room: but now it had been largely cleared, with only a few crates remaining, and a chair in which the alchemist sat, his hands tented, his eyes studying the scene with cruel glee.\n\nSix mercenaries stood, all of them carrying silver weapons, several shivering and wild-eyed: they'd imbibed potions. The wonder wasn't that they weren't dead already, really, but then again, they were dealing with an alchemist. And as arrogant as he was, he seemed to have some special knowledge of their mutations and abilities, which meant they couldn't underestimate him as a foe. “Now, I will admit that to this day it baffles me why silver injures monsters in a way steel does not. How is it that a simple silver blade can pierce what a steel bolt cannot, or cleave bleeding wounds in flesh that even barbed shrapnel fails to rend?\n\n“All I can think of is some form of allergy. Some reaction to the alloy compound. Today, however, I am gifted with a chance to receive two answers: whether or not witchers count as 'monsters' for the sake of this silver allergy, and whether your silver blades are truly as durable and dangerous as they say, or if these more modest weapons will suffice.”\n\n“I mean you could also just like, ask. Why is that so hard?” Zerrex questioned pointedly, before he added almost casually: “You guys know you're like, going to die, right? If you took any of the potions he offered you, you're already dead.”\n\n“The witcher lies. Don't let him distract you.” the alchemist said contemptibly, before he added easily: “Why, look at me, I sampled the brews myself so I could tell you their effects!”\n\n“Yeah, look at him. Creepy dude's a mutant himself.” Zerrex pointed out, as one of the mercenaries shifted, breathing hard, hands kneading, squeezing painfully across the pole of the ugly silver... that's not even a mace. Just a chunk of silver on the end of a stick. Gods above, why? Why...\n\n“You know, I'm curious.” Zerrex said after a moment. “What's the obsession here? You get kicked out of witcher school or something?”\n\nThe alchemist sneered at this, before he said calmly: “Remember. A bonus if you can take either witcher alive, but an extra hundred orens to whoever shuts this idiot up.”\n\n“If only it was that easy.” Hades intoned, before he lit the bomb in his hand with a quick Igni Sign, then flicked the bomb in an easy underhand just past the wall of the reptile as Zerrex covered his face and protected himself with the Quen Sign.\n\nThe bomb went off with a tremendous bang, the lizard grimacing as shrapnel cut against his scaled body and tore at his armor. But he got off lucky, protected as he was by both the Sign and the potent energy running through his hardened scales: the closer mercs went down with screams of agony, and even the furthest were knocked off their feet by the force of the blast.\n\nZerrex lowered his arm, and clicked his tongue at the sight that greeted him as his scales slowly returned to normal, brushing bits of debris away from his chest. He was fine getting away with nothing more than a few scratches, though: especially when most of the enemy force had already been killed from that bomb blast.\n\nNot that all of them bore signs of lethal shrapnel, or that they'd been jellified by concussive blast: from the way one of the was clutching at his chest and the seizure another was in, the shock of the explosion had caused them to suffer heart attacks. Well, that was why normal people couldn't risk witcher potions: a witcher's body and brain could struggle to deal with the effects of sensory enhancement. Give that to your average person, even if you improved the odds a bit with some kind of sedative or dilutant...\n\nThe last mercenary was trembling, staring as Hades strode out from behind Zerrex. His eyes immediately locked on his bag,which sat in the lap of the alchemist, the fox's hands neatly tented over one of Hades' few truly treasured possessions: the satchel that contained his neat little box of witcher potions.\n\n“If you make this easy on us all and just surrender, I won't have to show you first hand how much silver hurts, and how much longer it takes to kill someone with over steel.” Hades paused just long enough to bend down and pick up one of the fallen silver weapons, and then he added contemptibly: “If you can even be called a 'person' anymore, that is.”\n\nThe alchemist chuckled, even as the last mercenary stammered, silver sword shaking in his grip: “P-Perhaps we should listen, Lord Gorrander-”\n\n“I paid good money to you and your soldiers to provide me ample security. But don't worry. Even in death you mercenaries have a purpose to serve.” dismissed the alchemist contemptibly, and Hades' eyes widened before he bared his fangs in a mixture of shock and disgust as one of the bodies of the dead convulsed.\n\nThe stomach ripped open, vines crowning upwards, twisted with bone and viscera; a blossom like a dragon's skull yawned open, puking toxic gases into the air. In a thousand years, Hades never would have believed the horror of what he was witnessing, if he hadn't just seen it with his own eyes.\n\n“Archespore!” The thing's roots and tendrils were already spreading across the corpse, making it quiver and shake as it turned towards him on predatory instinct, vomiting a sticky secretion at him. Hades narrowly avoided it, then sharply retaliated with Igni, and the hideous plant screamed.\n\nThe other corpses were bursting open as Zerrex cursed, grasping at his sword before Hades called to him: the wolf kicked a sword in his direction, and while it wasn't his sword, it was still silver.\n\nSilver weapons. Right.\n\nZerrex jumped out of the way as vines lashed at him: the archespore were growing with shocking speed, twined with the innards and viscera of the recently-dead: were the corpses affecting their growth somehow? But there was no time to think as he snatched up the silver sword in one hand and weaved his way towards the nearest dead, slashing into the mutant blossom as it yawned open and knocking it back with a hideous, bestial scream of pain. \n\nHe cut down into it, severing the blossom in half, and hissed as acidic 'blood' came blasting out of the head of the mutant plant. He slipped sharply away as it lashed back and forth violently and the corpse shook and danced with the vines tearing against it, before the lizard gritted his teeth at the sight of the blossom regenerating.\n\nHades sent another blast of Igni out, incinerating a second plant, before something in the corner of his eye warned him to move, the wolf narrowly avoiding a full spray of acid from the plant he had previously thought he'd burnt to a crisp.\n\nBut new plant life was surging through the old cracked-and-blackened skin, shaking off ashes and charred flesh as more roots and tendrils emerged from the corpse and twined back into it and around it, almost as if-\n\nThe wolf flashed another Igni Sign, even though at this point it sapped most of his remaining focus and energy: fire blasted across the corpse, and the plant screamed and shook as it twisted and writhed as its source of power burned, the witcher shouting: “It's the corpses!”\n\n“Got it!” Zerrex swept up one of the silver maces from the ground as he charged at another archespore, avoiding a spray of acid vomit before he flung the weapon hard: it punched into the blossom, knocking it arching backwards before the lizard swept in and chopped hard with the silver sword through the base of the plant. \n\nToxic sap spurted from the narrow stalk as the mutant plant toppled backwards, and Zerrex grimaced as he seized into the base of the archespore, feeling it writhing, flexing, growing under his grip before he stomped on the dead body, then grunted in effort as he yanked back, uprooting the disgusting life from its fetid soil.\n\nHe grimaced as vines whipped and snapped at him, cursing under his breath at the sight of the plant-mutant's 'heart;' some kind of pulsing, bulbous mass, as if the archespore had infected and merged with all the organs of the body to create... this.\n\nHe tossed the uprooted plant down, then stomped on the bulb, foot crushing the heart of the mutant in a satisfying burst of blood and stinking juices. There was no time to savor the victory, however, as the remaining archespore were continuing to rapidly grow, drawing more power from the dead bodies than should have ever been possible as they focused in on the threat of the witchers with instinctual cunning.\n\nOne spat a spray of acid, and Hades narrowly avoided it, but stepped on a vine that immediately seized the opportunity to snap out from under him, knocking him off his feet. He hit the ground hard on his back before swearing as the archespore lunged in, narrowly deflecting a bite from the skull-like blossom with his sword before it yawned open-\n\nZerrex punted the plant's blossom hard, sending it whipping around in a circle like a tetherball before he sliced into the base of the plant. But this one had grown thicker, harder; his sword not cutting all the way through, and the plant screamed as it twisted back towards him with blossom-jaws opening wide.\n\nHades made the Sign of Aard, blasting the head of the plant backwards, and Zerrex grit his teeth as he yanked back before chopping again into the bleeding wound at the base of the archespore, severing the plant completely. Then he stumbled with a gasp as a blast of poison directly collided with his back, pain shocking his entire body as steam rose from his seared armor. \n\nHades moved forwards, leaping to his feet and pouncing on the plant: he didn't have the energy for another Sign, but he was able to spear his silver sword down into the stalk of the plant and through the mangled, malformed corpse fueling it, the plant screaming in agony. \n\nHe moved quickly, pulling a flask of oil out of his sidepack and dumping it quickly down the flat of his silver sword as he twisted the weapon hard: a moment later, his hands found a match he lit with a flick of his thumb and held against the blade, and fire exploded into life, licking down the sword and into the open wound, feeding flame straight into the heart of the mutant plant.\n\nHe bared his fangs as he bore down, ignoring the whipping tendrils, the upheaving roots, the way the corpse under him bucked and jiggled as flame spread with unnatural speed through its body; Zerrex, meanwhile, was rushing another plant, fingers quickly forming Aard to blast the blossom of the plant away when its jaws open, and the spray of acid instead burst in a wide arc that splattered uselessly against the magic barrier the alchemist had protected himself inside as he continued to watch with a calm smile.\n\nZerrex slashed his sword forwards, but to his shock, the archespore's roots and vines snapped upwards, blocking the strike. He cursed, then ducked with a wince when the blossom came biting back around before he slammed the pommel of his sword into it and shouted: “Hey asshole, either do something or throw me that sword!”\n\nThe remaining mercenary, who was panicking against the wall, flinched and gasped before he looked at the silver sword in his hand, and then he half-flung it, sending it clattering across the ground. The lizard moved with surprising grace as he leapt over the corpse and dodged a bite from the blossom at the same time, then hit the ground in a roll and swept up the fallen silver sword.\n\nThe blossom bit at him, and Zerrex deflected it with a hard swipe of both silver blades before he whirled in with a roar and slammed both swords into the base of the archespore, cleaving through it before he dropped to a kneel and tore both swords into the open chest of the corpse.\n\nHe twisted as the base of the plant writhed, then grunted as he levered hard inwards with both blades, popping the core of the plant upwards into the air. Then, in a single swift movement, his blades whirled around, scissoring through the mutant heart of the plant and shredding it apart.\n\nHades was already at the last, spearing his sword through the blossom when it tried to bite him before he twisted hard to the side and dropped his weight on the pommel, stabbing the sword into the floor to pin the archespore. Roots writhed through the corpse like worms as vines snapped through the air in pain, but Hades pushed through with a grimace, protecting himself with his arms as tendrils snapped against them.\n\nHe shoved another flask down into the archespore, then leapt over it, twisting in midair and making the Sign of Igni as the deadly blossom finally wrenched free of the earth and whirled around, only to scream in frustration and agony as the corpse it had grown out of exploded a moment later in a tremendous conflagration, chunks of gore and plant hailing down throughout the room.\n\nA quiet clapping filled the air, and the witchers both turned to face the alchemist: he smiled at them beneath his mask, his eyes gleaming as he whispered: “Marvelous. Truly marvelous. But you have one left.”\n\nHades and Zerrex both looked at the mercenary, who was wide-eyed and terrified, shaking his head furiously as he blurted out: “P-Please, no no, I ain't... look at me, I ain't one of those things!”\n\n“Get out of here. But wait outside. We'll have to take you to a friend to get that archespore pod out of you.” Zerrex said, and Hades only grunted.\n\nThe mercenary scrambled away with a thankful sob, and the alchemist tilted his head in interest, asking curiously: “Now, why would you do that? An enemy with a monster inside him-”\n\n“Witchers kill monsters, we're not bandit hunters.” Hades said contemptibly, before he caught the silver sword that Zerrex tossed him, spinning the familiar blade easily in his hand, then squeezing the handle of the weapon. Of his weapon. “We break curses. We deal with chaos.”\n\n“And we're always more interested in the root of evil than some outstretched branch.” Zerrex finished, pointing his own silver sword at the alchemist.\n\n“Gorrander is a pun, you know.” the alchemist said calmly, clearly unfettered. He paused to open Hades satchel and gently remove the box within, opening it to reveal several bottles. His long fingers removed one as he continued calmly: “There is a story from my homeland, that roughly translates to 'gore land,' but more literally means 'the place made of flesh.'\n\n“It is said, in this cursed place, that a marching army so maddened the forest spirits that they sacrificed their own forest; fused them into tree and earth, created a terrible, wailing land of mire, plant, and flesh. This land spreads, not merely by its stretching roots, but by the seeds and fruits it produces. They are beautiful, are they not?”\n\nThe alchemist smiled as he gestured at one of his uprooted plants, before he easily gestured at them, then tipped back the potion in his hand and drank deeply.\n\nHe shivered for a moment: only a moment, before he smacked his lips and easily set down the box. They could see the potion taking effect, though: the fidget of his fingers, the darkening and widening of his eyes, the uncontrolled rigor of his grin. “Bitter.”\n\n“I flavor mine sometimes. Vesemir always yelled at me for it, but so far I haven't grown an extra eyeball or anything. At least, not where anyone can see it.” Zerrex said, as he sheathed his silver blade and drew his steel instead.\n\n“If you like your goreland so much, why don't you go back home to it?” Hades asked, as he readied himself.\n\nThe alchemist smiled, then he reached up and removed his mask: his face was bare of fur and covered not just in scars, but bulges and tumors, what looked almost like sick... life. And his eyes glowed, as mutant as their own, as he stood and spread his arms, answering: “Because I was called here by an old friend, And t would be rude not to share the gifts of my country with yours.”\n\n“Who called you here?” Hades asked sharply, as his fingers tightened on his silver sword.\n\n“And hey, what's your name? Would be rude to kill you without asking who you really are, I guess.” Zerrex added as he shouldered his sword and shifted on the spot, but his body was tense and ready, his smile not reaching his cold eyes.\n\n“You may call me Zuzhou.” The alchemist answered, and then he smiled and bowed backwards as the floor shook, then erupted, a flash of magic blinding the two witchers as something massive tore through the ground.\n\nHades stumbled, then barely managed to parry Zuzhou, who had produced a dagger. He smiled at him as he leaned in, his breath reeking and toxic, one hand grinding the dagger against his silver sword as the other stroked almost tenderly down the blade. “Tell me, witcher, am I mortal or monster?”\n\n“You're an asshole.” Hades growled, before he slammed a knee up into the alchemist's crotch, and the reward of his hiss of pain was a delight to Hades' ears.\n\nZerrex, meanwhile, was staring up at the massive archespore, its thick, tree-trunk of a stem fattened by several corpses along its length. The massive, skull-like blossom of the hideous plant roared at him, spraying toxic gases into the air before it dove forwards, and Zerrex leapt backwards with a curse.\n\nThe plant snapped upwards, sending shrapnel from the floor in all directions, and Zerrex leapt to the side, narrowly avoiding being caught by the lash and stumbling in pain from the slew of shrapnel that struck him.\n\nThe archespore roared in fury, making the entire room shake: Hades tried not to let it distract him as he traded blows with Zuzhou, silver sword clashing violently again and again against the rapid strikes of the dagger. His arms ached with the effort as the alchemist only grinned his ghastly grin and pressed violently forwards.\n\nHe suddenly twisted, slashing into Hades' side: the witcher's armor stopped it from cutting into him, but it still felt like he had been kicked by a mule. He staggered, swiping his sword out, then cursed when the alchemist leapt back and the massive monster of a plant twisted towards Hades with a roar, vomiting a gout of acid.\n\nHades dove away, hitting the uneven ground hard: the archespore's head twisted after him, then flinched in surprise as a rock pelted its blossom, Zerrex shouting: “Eat me, you dickhead!”\n\n“Why, do you taste good?” mocked the alchemist, and Zerrex's eyes widened as Zuzhou's blade caressed his throat as his hand seized into his hair-\n\nZerrex sharply formed the Quen sign, gritting his teeth as his scales became like metal before he did the simplest thing he could do: he flung himself backwards, knocking the surprised vulpine over before crushing him into the earth under him with a squawk. His dagger tore across Zerrex's throat, but failed to dig more than a gash, and the reptile was able to sharply roll over before swinging the pommel of his sword down.\n\nBut Zuzhou, his reflexes and strength enhanced from the potion he'd drank, caught the pommel of the sword and slowed it enough that the back of his hand only thunked painfully against his head instead of knocking him out or crushing in his skull. Then, to Zerrex's shock, something tore out of his robes and seized the reptile's arm before he yanked hard, almost throwing the lizard over his head.\n\nZerrex rolled and spun around automatically, slashing his sword out, and he was at least rewarded with a shriek of pain. The lizard snarled at what he was faced with all the same, feeling little relief as his eyes glared at the monster the alchemist had made himself into, revealed to the world from beneath the open body of his robes.\n\nVines, roots, tendrils grew out of his back, and tumors and knots of flesh bulged from his chest. Long vines, almost tentacles,writhed around his armor, and he seemed to be bleeding a mix of sap and blood from the shallow cut Zerrex had scored as he hissed: “Is that the best you can do.”\n\nZerrex responded by sharply forming the Aard Sign and blasting Zuzhou full in the face with it, knocking the alchemist crashing head-over-heels backwards, but the archespore roared in indignation before it lashed away from Hades and slammed down on top of the lizard. He was crushed into the ground chest-first, saved from being crushed only by the fact his Quen Sign was still active, and his scales were still painfully hard.\n\nHades hissed, before his eyes widened as they locked on his potion box. He ran immediately towards this, yanking the lid off before he grabbed one of the flasks out of the kit, then he turned towards the archespore.\n\nPotion in hand, he ran quickly up the stem of the beast as it continued to crush down on Zerrex, and the mutant plant reacted too late before it screamed in pain when Hades stabbed his blade into the thick neck beneath the bulging blossom. It writhed with a scream, but Hades clung on for dear life, feeling the bottle crack in his hand from the strength of his grip before he shoved it into the wound he had created, ignoring the sting of acid against his hand.\n\nThe archespore twisted hard, and Hades cursed as he was flung off, hitting the wall before he fell to the ground with a grunt. Zerrex, meanwhile, gasped as he pushed himself out of the crater before wincing as a kick struck his neck and knocked him onto his back, the lizard glaring up at Zuzhou as the alchemist leveled his own steel sword towards his face.\n\n“All that work not to die, and all you've managed is...” Zuzhou was cut off, wincing, then looking up in shock as the massive archespore gave a keening wail, foam and bubbling blackness spilling up out of its gaping flower as the blossom began to wilt. “W-What?”\n\nZerrex seized the fox's ankle, then yanked him off his feet, sending him tumbling with a curse. He tried to stab the sword in, but Zerrex caught it in the crook of his arm, then twisted hard as he threw himself past the fox.\n\nHis blade clanged loose, bouncing across the ground as Zuzhou rolled over with a snarl, his body writhing as he hissed: “What have you done?”\n\nThe archespore was withering, its body shaking, the corpses that bedecked it moaning, writhing. And now, from the blackness sweating out of its pores, the dark foam that was replacing the drool as great, fat, rotten petals fell to the ground... “Looks like it doesn't like the taste of Black Blood.”\n\n“Bastard witchers!” the alchemist snarled before he lunged.\n\nAnd Zerrex grinned as he caught the silver sword Hades had already flung, then he swept hard down, and Zuzhou was too late to stop himself before he screamed in agony as one of his arms was severed from his body.\n\nA moment later, Hades followed up with Igni, blasting the creature in the chest. The fox staggered backwards, writhing as his robes, his plant-like mutations caught aflame, and then he suddenly turned and bolted, screaming in fury and agony as he fled the room.\n\nIt wasn't exactly the best victory they had ever had, as Zerrex fell back on his ass with a wheeze and Hades groaned, then grimaced in disgust at the sight of the melting archespore as it toppled drunkenly to one side. They sat for a few moments together, and then Zerrex tossed Hades his sword, the wolf fumblingly catching it before he grumbled: “You missed his neck.”\n\n“Oh, sorry, I must have been a little off due to the ten tons of plant I just had squishing my brains out!”\n\n“What brains?”\n\n“Shut up.”\n\nSilence for a moment, and then Hades said: “He was a mutant.”\n\n“Every culture has had their witchers.”\n\n“Lies.”\n\nZerrex shrugged, but he knew what Hades was thinking, and why his reaction was so sharp. He licked his lips, and then he said finally: “Well, we were on our way back to Kaer Morhen anyway. We can figure things out there.”\n\n“What's to figure out? Silver worked. He's a monster. We hunt monsters.” Hades said.\n\nFor once, Zerrex didn't feel like arguing with this simplification of their work, and after a moment he sighed before he stood shakily and said wryly: “Come on, we still need to find where they took the rest of our equipment. And now we should get you bandaged up, big boy.”\n\n“Eat me.”\n\n\n\nHades was in a foul mood as they returned to the castle. Not just because they had found out from the captive they were half-dragging by horse behind them that the asshole mercenaries had already sold most of their equipment, not just because his whole fucking body hurt and that included his ass, which was getting further punished by this uncomfortable fucking saddle, and not just because of the dark thoughts consuming his brain about the mutant alchemist.\n\nVesemir was going to give them shit about this.\n\nAnd what Zerrex had said...\n\n“You don't really think that thing is some distant country's... witcher?”\n\n“I don't know what he is.” Zerrex said after a moment. The lizard was largely wrapped in bandages, half-naked, armor and swords shoved in an ungainly sack hanging over his shoulder. “Maybe some distant land figured it was easier to become monsters than fight them. Maybe he's just some crazy asshole who drank too much magic juice. Maybe we're the baddies.”\n\nHades fixed him with a grumpy look, and Zerrex admitted: “Okay, we're not the baddies. But whether he's some kind of... reject from another witcher school, an alchemist who figured out his own brand of mutation, or just a monster... we'll deal with him when the time comes.”\n\nHades grunted, but then he nodded after a moment with a sigh. “I better not come back here one day to learn that you've been killed and eaten by him and his plants.”\n\n“Well, if you're worried so much, we can always hunt him together.” Zerrex said amiably.\n\n“Witchers work alone.”\n\n“You know we don't have to do everything by the book, right? And besides. It's not like you don't enjoy my company.”\n\nHades smiled wryly at this, tilting his head towards the lizard as he retorted: “Maybe I just don't want to babysit you.”\n\n“You love babysitting me, though.” Zerrex answered with that stupid grin of his, and Hades sighed, but smiled as he turned his eyes down the road, towards the spires of Kaer Morhen in the distance.\n\nThen both witchers looked back as their mercenary hostage asked weakly: “Sirs, can we please stop? I need to rest me legs.”\n\n“Just lay down and let the horses drag you for a bit, it'll be fine.” Hades grumbled, and the mercenary groaned.\n\n“We'll stop for water just ahead, don't worry. We're almost there. Besides, you should be worrying about whether or not Vesemir decided he needs to cut you open. Or maybe we'll need to make you swallow hot embers.” Zerrex added.\n\n“I was just tryin' to make a living, mate!” howled the mercenary, and Hades sighed tiredly as Zerrex gave a wry grin. Yes, he certainly understood that, just like he knew it was important to save people, to find out if they could how these lurking plant-mutants worked, to find out more about Zuzhou...\n\nBut gods above, give him all the monsters of the Conjunction, just spare him from having to deal with people.", "writing_bbcode_parsed": "Chapter One: Witcher Problems
~Zerrex Narrius



“How did we end up in this situation, again?” asked the black wolf hanging from the rusty shackles chained to the wall. He asked this to his large lizard companion in a voice that made it very clear he was absolutely aware of how and rather was assigning blame to the who who had gotten them into this particular predicament.

“Well,” his companion, a taller, thicker-built lizard answered obliviously, “I think it started when we were told about that job in the moor.”

“Uh huh.” the wolf slowly closed his eyes: distinct, orange, almost animal, the common mutation of all their kind. Just like his friend's.

Witchers.

His pointed lack of enthusiasm, however, was unique to him.

His fellow Witcher nodded, almost solemnly, as if he wasn't aware of his compatriot's obvious displeasure. “It sounded easy enough. Livestock being killed, graves dug up, standard monster attacks. Ended up being spiky ghouls-”

“Alghouls. Vesemir would smack you every time you called them 'spiky ghouls' and you still haven't learned a ploughin' thing, Zerrex!”

“All that did was smack it into my head that they're called spiky ghouls. You know me, Hades. Hitting me doesn't do anything.” the reptile answered with a shrug and a wry smile. “But the spiky ghouls-”

“Alghouls.”

“-spiky ghouls, the spiky ghouls, uh, we found they had been attracted by a pit full of dead people. Should have been a tipoff it was a trap but-”

Hades snorted. “You had to play hero.”

“And you were the one who decided to use Igni on the corpses” Zerrex replied pointedly. “Gas didn't knock us out, though. The alchemist's fire did.”

“Can't you just say 'bomb' like everyone else?” Hades sighed, rolling his eyes beneath his dark curtain of hair.

“Well, it was an alchemist who bombed us, so that makes it reasonable to say it was alchemist's fire.” Zerrex answered rationally, and Hades side-eyed him and flexed his fingers moodily flexed, wishing he had just a little more slack so he could send just a touch of Igni in Zerrex's direction. “And now we're here. The alchemist took blood samples from us and is probably going to kill and dissect us.”

“Aye, and not soon enough, lads, I'm sick of all yer bitchin'!” snapped the sulking guard at the table on the other side of the bars, who was grumpily trying to read a book by the dim light of a torch. “His lordship promised me I could tie the noose myself!”

“Ah, the classic.” Hades remarked dryly.

“Well, sire, then you'll be pleased to hear that the noose will be specifically used to suffocate you, rather than break your neck.” The guard swept up the torch and approached the cell, banging the torch into the bars and sending a puff of embers towards the witchers. “And the other one is going to be drowned in a tub!”

The light danced across their bodies: the toned, athletic, strong form of Hades, and the muscular, larger physique of the lizard; one furred in charcoal, with his blacker mane of hair, the other with emerald scales that turned to blue across his chest, white hair decorating both his masculine form as well as falling past his shoulders, loose and dirty.

They were both completely naked, stripped of even their valued medallions. To Hades' distaste, he noticed immediately that the rat guard was actually wearing one of them, saying moodily: “You know that witchers don't look kindly on their possessions being worn like trophies. And the rest of the world doesn't look kindly on witchers.”

“Ooh, I'm so scared.” sneered the rat. “Ploughin' witchers! Still tryin' to be cocky even when you're set to be killed and chopped up for his lordship's entertainment!”

“I guess we know which of us is going to be hung.” Zerrex remarked, and Hades and the guard both looked at him before the reptile pointedly rocked his hips, making his surprisingly-large, black-fleshed member swing like a pendulum: “It's me, because see, I'm already hung.”

“Oh for fuck's sake.” Hades groaned, as the rat rolled his eyes and spat to the side in disgust. “Just stab me and be done with it now, please.”

“Can't do, friend, or believe me, I'd have beaten you both out of my misery long ago. His lordship wants you for his alchemy, and says we're not to damage the 'goods.'”

“Well my goods-”

“Shut up, please just shut up.” Hades interrupted grouchily, and then he scowled and added: “By the way, this isn't the way, I wanted to die, and I swear if we get out of this I'll make sure you never forget it.”

Zerrex only shrugged amiably, and then, as the guard began to turn away, he called: “Hey, wait! I have a last request!”

The guard snorted, looking over his shoulder and retorting: “Oh, is that so, m'lord? Whatever can  do for you sire, you want a last meal, or-”

“I want to jerk off one last time.” Zerrex said bluntly.

Hades' eye twitched before he glare at him, and the rat guard gave a chortle, turning fully towards the bars as he blurted out: “What?”

“I want to masturbate.” The lizard looked at the guard seriously, captured his attention with his eyes, as his fingers subtly shifted, and Hades muttered under his breath. “Look, it's easy. Just undo one of these shackles-”

“Y-Yeah... no, no. No! I can't do that.” the rat blurted out, although he looked almost... confused, as if he was trying to remember why that was a bad idea.

“Well, then you should jerk me off instead.” Zerrex reasoned with a pointed tilt of his head, and oh, Hades hated everything about this as he pursed his lips, but kept his mouth shut as he quickly formed a Sign with his fingers.

“I mean, you have to honor his last request. And it's not like either of us are going to be able to tell anyone about it.” Hades added, trying not to sound annoyed as all hell.

Zerrex nodded, adding pleasantly: “My friend here jerks me off all the time and he loves it! I bet you will too!”

Hades face puckered as he shot a horrible look at Zerrex, who gave a grin in return, and then the wolf managed through bared teeth: “Yes. Love it.”

“I... well... yes...” the rat mumbled after a moment, grasping at his belt for his keys. He pulled one loose, opening the door to the cell to let himself inside, where he dropped the torch on the floor in almost the same moment he fell to his knees, staring at the reptile's cock as he mumbled: “Ploughin' madness. Big as a dragon! Can't believe you... would...”

He gripped that dark flesh, and the reptile closed his eyes, tilting his head back as Hades grimaced and turned away, but of course his eyes flicked towards the show, shifting his thighs together awkwardly as the lizard encouraged: “Take your time. I know it's a lot to handle.”

“Fuck.” Hades muttered.

“No, just a handie. Would be rude to ask for more.” Zerrex said glibly, before he muttered, as the rat almost anxiously took that member in both hands, squeezing the veiny, dark-fleshed shaft. It throbbed and thickened in his grip, fattening, and the rat stared in disbelief at how fat and heavy it was becoming.

“Ploughin' hell...”

Zerrex grinned wryly, and then he sighed as Hades made a frustrated noise at him, the lizard grumbling: “Oh, as if you're not enjoying the show.”

“Big as me arm!”

“Can you just... hurry up?” Hades complained, and Zerrex sighed as the rat shook himself briefly, then looked up almost in confusion as his hands loosened their grip on the reptile's half-erect shaft.

“Sorry.” Zerrex apologized, before he suddenly twisted his hips to one side, then hard back, swinging his cock like a meaty baseball bat into the face of the guard. It struck with a strangely-satisfying, wet smack, the guard gargling in shock as the force of the blow knocked him sprawling-

Hades sharply kicked a leg out, the rat's head impacting his shin, and if the initial blow hadn't knocked him senseless, than the force of skull against bone was enough to finish the job and knock him completely unconscious.

The wolf quickly brought up his other leg, catching the knocked-out guard in a scissors between his shins. Then he shot a horrible glare at Zerrex, who only looked mildly back at the wolf before he noted: “Hey, I'm the one who's gonna be blueballed here, as far as I'm concerned I just took one for the team.”

“Fucking fuck.” Hades grumbled, the wolf rolling his eyes and trying to ignore his own aching balls as he muttered: “Should have just let them drown you.”

“Hung me. Because I'm-”

“Hung, yes, I get the joke.” Hades grumbled again as he gritted his teeth, squeezing his grip into the chains he was hanging by. They were still biting painfully into his wrist, but he concentrated on what he was doing with his legs for now and ignored the ache, hooking a leg under the armpit of the unconscious guard and letting his weight shift to that side, so he could hook the other down as well.

Then, with a grunt of effort, he carefully hoisted the rat towards him: his head lolling forwards and nearly smacking into his groin really didn't help matters much, but Hades kept his mind focused as he rocked his hips, bucking the rat into the air, tossing him forwards bit-by-bit until he was between his thighs, and then he gritted his teeth as he carefully hefted the guard's body between his legs as he growled: “Ploughin' bastard weighs a ton!”

“Lift with your back, not your knees.” Zerrex quipped, and Hades shot him a look as the reptile stretched one of his own legs out: one thick toeclaw slipped upwards, hooking onto the keyring around the rat's belt, and then he gave a quick nod, and Hades simply let the guard's unconscious body drop to the floor with a thump.

The ring tore off, nearly bouncing loose from the reptile's toeclaws, but the lizard managed to quickly raise his foot, the keys jangling but then settling. The lizard wheezed a sigh of relief, then shifted sideways slightly, while Hades was already rolling the unconscious rat under him so he could stand on his chest, giving himself the extra bit of slack he needed from his chains.

Why he needed this slack was made apparently as Zerrex lifted his foot high, the wolf grumbling as it nearly pushed into his face before his fellow witcher tossed the keys up off his toeclaws, and Hades caught the ring in one hand, then quickly reached across and undid a manacle. A second later, he was completely free, dropping his back against the bars of the narrow cell with a sigh before he looked up as Zerrex cleared his throat loudly.

He stared at the wolf, who only looked back at him for a few moments before the reptile said bluntly: “I'll scream.”

“I bet you will.” Hades muttered, and then he finally sighed before stepping forwards. He pointedly shoved a paw against the reptile's crotch, using that ridiculous cock of his almost like a stepladder as the lizard grunted, the wolf's free hand squeezing his bicep as he lifted himself up to level with the lizard's raised arms. “Why do you have to be built like a leshen?”

“Made of hard wood?”

“More like strung out like sticks.” Hades undid both manacles, and then hopped down as Zerrex brought his hands down and rubbed at his wrists with visible relief. “How are we getting out of here?”

“This isn't the first fortress we've escaped.” Zerrex noted, and Hades grumbled as he bent down, taking the medallion off the rat's neck, then drawing the guard's sword. He tossed it in the air and caught it, point-down towards the rat's neck, but the lizard cleared his throat and said mildly: “He got cockslapped unconscious. Do you really think he's going to be eager to come help his friends chase us down?”

Okay. That was a good point. But all the same Hades hesitated before he straightened and instead moodily toyed with the edge of the short sword, asking: “You aren't going to stop me from killing everyone, are you?”

“Oh no, not at all. But I think we should try and get our stuff back before we mount any assaults. I don't want another scar on my penis.” Zerrex said mildly as he pointed at himself, and Hades snorted and gave a wry smile.

“Good point. But you're the one who's more likely to alert the guards, you lummox.”

“True, I'm not sneaky in the shadows like you.” the lizard replied amiably, and Hades huffed. “Tell you what, I'll let you take the lead.”

Hades nodded as they left the cell: their primal eyes adjusted quickly to the lack of light in this dreary dungeon as the wolf squeezed his medallion slowly in his hand, holding it so he could feel the slightest twitch or vibration: the last thing he wanted was for that asshole alchemist to ambush them because he happened to be on the way down to question them.

Zerrex followed: close, but not so close as to crowd his fellow witcher. With all the time they had worked together, they understood how one-another liked to operate, and it made situations like this much more tenable.

Hades slipped out into the hall, which was as dimly-lit as the cell room had been. He moved silently, with the lizard in tow almost as quiet, only the click of his heavy claws on the stone making any noise.

The only sounds were the whimpers and growls, and occasional sobs, that came from what appeared to be other cells lining the corridor. Some of them sounded animals, others insane; the tingle of his amulet told Hades that many of these prisoners had been experimented on in some way or another with magic.

He saw one guard, who was peeking into a cell, grinning to himself: in a flash, Hades crossed the distance towards him and jammed the sword into the vulnerable opening in his breastplate beneath his arm, tearing between his ribs and piercing almost to the other side of his body with almost surgical precision.

The guard collapsed backwards, a dull look of surprise on his face: before his corpse hit the ground, Zerrex gently caught it and lowered it quickly but gently as Hades yanked his sword free and flicked blood off it.

The reptile stepped on the fallen torch and snuffed it out with a twist of his foot, and Hades turned his eyes back ahead as he muttered: “Careful. I hear voices ahead.”

“Two, I think.” Zerrex confirmed as they moved down the corridor, before they both paused at an ajar door, flickering light gleaming through the crack.

Hades leaned forwards and peeked in, and made a moue of distaste as he saw a pair of guards standing over a table, playing with some of their equipment. “Lookit me, I'm a witcher now!” exclaimed one cheerfully, as he waved Hades' steel sword through the air.

“I'd prefer to be richer over a witcher.” remarked the second, as he scowled at the leather vest in his hands. “Would you just look at this thing? Could use it as a soddin' tent!”

“Ploughin' hell, mate, didn't you see those freaks? Probably them witcher potions that made him big as a house! You could do with a bit o' that yourself!”

His friend grumbled as he waved away the tip of the sword the other guard poked at him with, tossing down the vest before he began rifling through the rest of the belts and leather armor. “As if Gorrander will let us near those potions. Madman is probably going to want us to kidnap more locals now to feed those brews to and see what happens.”

“I'll get the moron with my sword. You take the other one.” Hades muttered, and without needing to wait for acknowledgment, he sprang in, a black blur that launched a metallic streak sharply into the throat of the guard.

He struck so quickly that the guard's body reacted with shock, swinging his arms out and taking a surprised step back even as his head whirled into the air, flipping wildly out of control before falling with a thunk to the ground, followed a moment later by the collapse of the headless corpse.

Meanwhile, Zerrex had already seized the other guard by the head and slammed him roughly back into the wall with a satisfying clang, leaving a large dent in his helmet before he allowed the drooling henchman to collapse in a broken heap.

“Didn't kill him?” Hades asked, almost disapproving.

“Might want to question him if his brain isn't entirely scrambled. I want to know more about this alchemist.”

“It's an alchemist, Zerrex. You saw his band of bandits on the way in-”

“Band-its. Get it?”

“-and they don't look any different from your standard thugs. Mercenaries and thieves and slaves, probably. Plus whatever bodyguard he's cooked up.”

Zerrex grunted as he dug through the table alongside his friend, absently sorting out their piles of gear. “True. But I'd like to know if it's a golem or just a guy he's dumped a lot of potions into.”

“We're going to kill it either way.”

“Well, yes...” Zerrex paused and meditatively picked up his own steel sword, noting: “But it looks like he's taken all our silver.”

Hades only gave Zerrex a look and a smile, however, and the lizard scowled after a moment before he touched the distinctive tattoo on his chest, muttering: “Oh balls.”

It only took them a few minutes to suit back up: Hades, in his more traditional witcher armor, his equipment bags repacked and neatly secured, while Zerrex had a slightly more 'exotic' look with a one-armed vest and a long sleeve attached by belts to the other, nipple peeking out from the open arm when he flexed and moved.

Hades gave him a wry look, and Zerrex shrugged before he defended: “Keeps me cool.”

“You wish.” Hades answered, and Zerrex grumbled as he sheathed his steel sword. “You ready?”

“How do you want to do this?”

That was a good question, Hades thought as he pushed his hands together and bowed his head forwards, thinking. His medallion, back in place around his neck, hummed faintly: he didn't think they were quite in danger yet, but it was definitely encouraging him to move a little faster.

“We stay quiet as long as possible.” Hades looked at the unconscious guard, then kicked him hard in the stomach, waking him up with a gargle and wheeze before his fingers sharply formed the Sign for Axii. “Who runs this base?”

The guard stared up at him as he gasped for breath for a moment, his eyes gleaming with the power of the Sign before he answered in a mumble: “Gorrander... Lord Gorrander. Alchemist...”

“What is he doing here?” Zerrex questioned.

“Experiments... immortality... fisstech...”

“Ah, the usual then.”

Hades ignored Zerrex's wry remark, asking calmly: “How many people does he have working for him here?”

“Don't know... twenty of us? Slaves... the Fat Cow...”

“Fat Cow?”

The drooling guard only stared at them blankly, and Zerrex and Hades traded looks before the reptile shrugged, and Hades ordered: “Sleep.”

“Sleep.” mumbled the thug, before he slid down and seemed to pass out almost immediately.

“Sounds like a golem. We'd better be ready. But not as many bandits as I thought.”

“Small operation. Embarrassing that he caught us.”

“Well, when we tell stories about it later we can make it an even hundred.”

Hades grunted, although not really in disagreement. He automatically took point again: the best thing they could do was stay quiet, and maybe they could slip past the rest of these thugs, or at the least take out a few more bandits before they set off any alarms.

Hades took point again, and Zerrex followed cautiously behind him; when they reached an intersection, they split up without needing to discuss it, Hades heading straight on and Zerrex turning the bend.

The lizard found a thug slumped in a chair next to a door: he was able to move up silently, and by the time the bandit looked up, it was too late. A moment later, the thug was on the ground in a broken heap and Zerrex was brushing his hands off before he leaned in and peeked through the bars of the door.

Storehouse. The door didn't really want to give at first, but that was a problem solved by simply applying more force, and the old handle snapped off in his grip, the locking mechanism clunking to pieces inside.

Ever a packrat, the lizard wiggled his fingers as his eyes flicked back and forth before he quickly picked his way through the supply shelves: they were sparse – he wasn't exactly interested in most of the traps and munitions they thought were worth keeping under lock and key, after all – but there were at least a few useful components here.

The reptile's hands worked quickly, rapidly assembling a simplified bomb from the materials he had found as he returned to the intersection: there, he found Hades already impatiently waiting for him, the wolf gesturing sharply with his head. “Found the way up. I see you've been amusing yourself.”

“Better safe than sorry, right?” Zerrex remarked, tossing the bomb easily up and down like it was a toy and not a shrapnel-laden explosive.

Hades gave him a pointed look, and Zerrex shrugged before he caught the bomb one last time, then handed it over. The wolf felt it in his hand, squeezing it slowly as his fingers automatically found the short fuse.

They headed back the way Hades had indicated, and he gestured silently: a staircase, past an open archway that conversation was filtering out of. Hades squeezed the bomb, but Zerrex shook his head at the gesture before he pointed at his eyes.

Fair. They would check it out first. Maybe there was a quieter way to deal with things.

They reached the archway and both witchers leaned out, familiar bodies pressed almost together as they peeked around the corner. Three more guards in what looked like a bunk room of some sort... no, four, there was someone snoring under a blanket in one of the beds.

Four was easy. The problem was they were right next to the staircase leading up to the main house, and if there were guards up there, they could hear the commotion and set off an alarm. But on the other hand, if they didn't deal with these mercenaries now, they'd undoubtedly become a problem sooner or later.

“Remember when those Scoia'tel ambushed us and that one elf on the cliff thought you couldn't reach him?” Zerrex muttered in Hades' ear, and Hades scowled horribly, then sighed tiredly before he tucked the bomb away in a safe pocket.

“This is a stupid idea.” he growled under his breath.

“And?”

“...fuck.”

Hades shifted backwards, pressing back against the wall and tensing his body. Zerrex grinned, grasping the wolf's arm, and he readied himself before the smaller witcher gave a short nod, leaping in the air and slamming his paws against the hard surface as Zerrex wrenched him through the air in a satellite throw, flinging him hard into the room beyond.

Without their enhanced senses, this would be impossible: instead, Hades was able to sharply twist his body around and slam both feet into the face of one of the mercs at the table before he even knew what was going on, sprawling backwards in a fine spray of blood. Even before he hit the ground Hades had already used the force of his kick off the grunt's face to fly past a second half-armored soldier, catching him with a flying arm hook that yanked him out of his seat.

The third at the table began to stand, only to be caught around the neck by Zerrex, who almost casually hefted him out of his chair as he headed past to the back of the room, holding him in a chokehold as he approached the surprised guard sitting up in his bunk.

Zerrex looked down at him, and the naked fox stared back up before he made a wild grab at the sword by his head, but the lizard seized him by the head and slammed his skull back against the wall before letting him slump back in the bed in a drooling heap.

A moment later, he dropped the grunt he'd choked out, as Hades rubbed his head with a grimace as he straightened, standing over the possibly-dead mercenary he'd clotheslined into the ground. He scowled at Zerrex, but the lizard only shrugged before he noted: “You want to try and throw me again?”

“I'll throw you off a cliff.” Hades grumbled, and Zerrex only shrugged before they headed out of the room, the wolf muttering: “Four more down; that should be half their security force, right?”

“Hell if I know. Every time we think something's going according to plan, after all...”

“Good point.

They headed up the stairs, and cracked the door ajar: even the peek allowed Hades to see the fortress wasn't in great condition. There was a guard beside the door, but that was dealt with by cracking it a little wider, then yanking the dozing mercenary through the crack before he even knew what was happening.

Hades and Zerrex emerged out of the dungeon, quickly taking in their surroundings: dirty, ugly stone, the classic hideout. Not that Kaer Morhen was in much better condition, but at least they tried to fix up their castle a little.

The two witchers focused, listening in different directions before Hades felt a tingle at his neck. The gentlest of sizzles, and the wolf gestured towards an archway, muttering: “Sense of magic in this direction. Can hear something too. Maybe not people, though.”

“Let's find out.” Zerrex said, and Hades had to agree.

They moved deeper into the fortress, and quickly found their way to a laboratory full of bubbling beakers and strange equipment, some of which they recognized from Kaer Morhen's potion labs, and others which were foreign even to them. It seemed like an eclectic mix of magical equipment and the kind of showy stuff that charlatans often used to fence their wares: then again, that didn't entirely mean anything. Sometimes you needed more flash than sizzle to sell a product.

The lizard started towards a shelf full of reagents and components, but Hades caught him by the arm, saying mildly: “I wouldn't do that if I were you.”

Zerrex took a second look at the shelf and realized quickly there was a thin sheet of some kind over it, almost indiscernible even to his eyes: but once he saw it, he was also able to make out the faint shape of magic runes, painted in some sort of reactive ink.

“Ah. Those look like they would hurt.”

“Yes. More importantly, they'll set off an alarm.”

“Glad you care, Hades, your empathy is your best quality.”

“Do you recognize any of this equipment?”

“Hey, you were the potions expert, not me.” Zerrex paused, then walked over to one of the tables, frowning as he studied one of the bubbling beakers. Yes, it was true, Hades was better at making potions, but... “Smells like he's extracting something from flesh. Probably... elven in nature.”

Hades grimaced, then muttered: “You spend too much time with monsters, eating people.”

“It's rude not to accept a meal from friends.” Zerrex answered. He checked the equipment quickly, then both he and Hades followed a row of beakers to their terminus: another vial where now-ocher fluids were dripping into.

Zerrex's muzzle wrinkled up, before he muttered: “Five orens says it's an 'extract of immortality.'”

“Fits, considering what it sounds like he wanted from us.” Hades agreed, before both the witchers looked up sharply at a slow clapping.

Their eyes locked on a slender fox dressed in robes of far foreign weave and an ornate silver mask, exotic charms hanging from his sleeves and around his neck. The mask left enough of his muzzle uncovered they could clearly see his smile, and how it didn't reach his callous green eyes as he glared daggers into them from beyond an archway at the far end of the room.

Eyes with a hint of other color in it, like unfinished, or unsuccessful mutation.

“Looks like somebody's already been sampling his own stash.” Zerrex noted, and Hades snorted as he drew his sword and readied himself, already sensing the ambush lumbering in from behind them.

“I'd love to chat with you about my discoveries, but somehow I doubt you'd understand: witchers and sorceresses and all your ilk seem highly protective of your secrets. Which I would understand better, if I were not offering to improve them. Ah, a bit of time with you, witchers, and I could easily fix your numbed emotions, your sterility, all your flaws...”

“Is that before or after you drown us like kittens in a tub?” Hades growled.

The alchemist replied with a patronizing smile and a chuckle, answering: “Well, that wouldn't be necessary if you'd submit to my work, but we all know you won't do that, will you? Now, if you'll excuse me, I'll leave you to my servant. Don't worry about the equipment: this stage dressing has already served its purpose.”

Hades rose his hand, sharply forming the Aard Sign, but the thunderous blast of force crashed into an invisible barrier that blocked the arch. Obviously a magical forcefield of some kind, but there was no time to dissect or dispel it as a stomping from behind them drew their attention.

Hades and Zerrex both winced at the hulking mass that lumbered through the doorway: a minotaur, but one whose impressive bulk had been further augmented by heavy steel plating that had been grafted across its body. The monster groaned as its massive hooves crushed across the floor times, chipped crescent blade of its massive executioner's axe sending up sparks as it ground against the floor.

“Guess he's not concerned about taking us in one piece anymore, huh?” Zerrex muttered as he drew his sword, grimacing as the bull-beast focused on them with a snort of steam that made the ring in its nostrils jangle against the mask of metal covering the monster's face.

“What, you're not going to try and talk this one down?” Hades asked wryly, and the lizard tilted his head towards him as a slight grin crested his muzzle.

“I'm not against violence, Hades, it's just that every problem isn't a nail, mister hammerhead.”

Before Hades could retort, the minotaur suddenly stormed forwards with a mooing roar, swinging its blade around in a clumsy overhead arc. Both Hades and Zerrex intercepted it, swords crossing, and yet even working together they were both almost knocked flat by the force of the rough chop.

The minotaur snorted as he leaned against the haft of his axe: his muscles bulged with power, making the steel plates that covered his body separate slightly, revealing hairless flesh and surgical scars. His joints were pink and sinewy, gleaming in the light as if his skin had been scraped off and replaced with rubber.

Suddenly, he stepped back as he yanked the axe away before swinging the heavy weapon sideways: Hades ducked as Zerrex dodged backwards, then whistled at the minotaur as he shouted: “Hey, come and pick on someone your own size!”

If nothing else, it worked, the bull snorting as he crashed forwards, carelessly swinging his axe back an forth in wide, heavy arcs at the reptile, smashing a set of beakers as the lizard dodged backwards before the reptile grunted with the effort it took to deflect a swing of the axe and send it chopping into the table behind him instead.

Hades slipped around behind the beast and grit his teeth at the sight: the minotaur's back wasn't just armored, he had some kind of jangling shield chained into his back, protecting his spine and making it impossible to get a clean blow at his neck. He also didn't have the time to analyze too much, as Zerrex gagged when the minotaur suddenly reached a hand out and seized him by the throat, shoving him back onto the table even as the lizard swung his steel sword against the monster's chest... and it did nothing but clang off the metal breast of the hulking beast.

Hades leapt in and chopped hard at the back of the minotaur's knee, and the beast howled in pain as the wolf moved in a quick pirouette, narrowly avoiding both a wide swing of the axe, and the body of the lizard as the minotaur hurled the other witcher through the air and sent him smashing through an array of beakers and tubes, glass and concoctions spraying in every direction as he tumbled over the table.

The minotaur advanced on Hades, and the witcher allowed himself to be pressed backwards; he shifted out of the way of each hard chop of the beast's axe, retaliating with quick cuts of his sword, but the strikes barely made a scratch against the minotaur's armored chest.

Hades finally managed a hard upwards stab as he reached the other end of the room, piercing the soft underside of the minotaur's muzzle. But even through the spray of blood, the minotaur gave a raspy moo of pain as he swung his arm out and smashed Hades back against the wall before he speared the butt of his axe into his chest, pinning him like a bug.

Hades gargled, baring his teeth in agony as he felt his armor dent inwards, the wall cracking as he was forced bodily upwards as the minotaur grasped the handle of his axe and pushed harder into the witcher's chest-

Strong arms seized around the minotaur's waist, then twisted him hard to the side, yanking him away from Hades and slinging him into one of the stacked shelves: the moment the minotaur collided with it, magical energy erupted across his body as a wail blared through the room, Zerrex and Hades both flinching at the noise.

The minotaur dropped his heavy axe as he tore himself away from the shelf with a snort and groan, and almost on reflex, Hades formed the Sign of Igni and sent a blast of flame into the metal breastplate grafted to the minotaur's body. The plates, already seared by magic, were superheated by the spell, the bull-beast clawing at his own chest before he dropped his head and simply charged.

Zerrex cursed, fingers forming Quen as he sidestepped in front of Hades, then caught the bull by the horns and gritted his teeth as he was crushed back into the wall. Pain seared through his body, but it wasn't from the impact: that was muted, compared to the feeling of the magic sigil tattooed on his chest burning, and his scales grinding against one-another as they hardened like steel.

The bull crushed against him, and the lizard wheezed as his grip tightened on the horns before he drove a knee upwards into the beast's steaming chest, and then he kicked hard down into his knee. The first hit was useless, but the second caused the bull's leg to buckle, the minotaur almost falling to a kneel.

Hades saw his chance: he leapt onto the minotaur's angled back, then half-fell as he jammed his sword straight down, spearing between grafted metal skull and the heavy shield protecting his back.

The bull-beast gave another of its discordant moos, heavy, armored body flexing and shaking before it collapsed to its knees. Hades winced as he tumbled off its back, and Zerrex gasped as he shoved the beast's head aside and he fell to the side on his ass as well.

The witchers sat for a few moments, and then Zerrex grimaced as his scales relaxed before he winced as he hugged himself, tucking his bleeding hands under his armpits as he muttered: “Guess that was the Fat Cow, huh?”

“I hope it was the Fat Cow.” Hades grumbled as he stood up with the help of his sword, pausing to wipe it against his pantleg. Perhaps the faintest hint of worry passed over his features before he said grumpily: “At least this time you didn't catch the monster with your face. Let's find you some bandages.”

Zerrex smiled despite himself, then said wryly: “Glad to know you care. Let's be fast, though, don't want that asshole catching on that we dealt with his bully.”

Hades only grunted in response as he sheathed his weapon, then cast his eyes across the wrecked laboratory. It gave him a bad feeling that the alchemist had been willing to abandon all this equipment: after all, even if a lot of it was just for show, it was a lot to surrender...

Well, either way there was a quick way to solve that problem, wasn't there?

He still took his time to make sure he found some strong cloth, and that he properly bandaged Zerrex's hands. The lizard sat quietly for it, not making any snide remarks, only smiling a little before he said softly, as the wolf finished securing the last of the bandaging: “Remember how I broke my fingers?”

“Oh, don't worry, Zerrex, I don't think anyone could forget that.” Hades remarked with a slight smile despite himself.

That had been back when they had been kids. During that stupid test, climbing the mountain, trying to sneak around the old brute of an ogre, Old Speartip. Of course he'd been awake during their trial, and of course Zerrex had stupidly decided the best course of action was to try and lure the cyclops away.

Predictably, as a dumb child with no real life experience, he succeeded only in drawing Old Speartip towards him. The lizard ended up cornered, barely escaping into a low vent even as Hades shouted and swore and threw rocks from a high ledge.

It had been twenty uncomfortable minutes. And again, as a stupid child with no real experience in things, once it had gone quiet Zerrex had started to crawl his way out of the crack in the rocks, and Old Speartip had come leaping around the corner.

Zerrex learned that day how hard it was to crawl backwards. And how much it hurt to have a cyclops stomp on your hands.

The worst part had been the malice: Old Speartip seemed to delight in the screams of pain as Zerrex had yanked his hands back under the rock, and the ogroid had lingered, relishing Zerrex's agony as Hades had shouted and sworn at him from above furiously. But after a few minutes Old Speartip had wandered off, chuckling and please with himself.

Giant asshole.

The rest of the climb had been miserable. Zerrex was thankful he and Hades were able to be there for each other, and still had a lot of gratitude for the male who always seemed to be there for him, to bandage him up after he did some stupid-ass thing, who was willing to help another witcher with broken hand finish his climb to the top of the mountain to claim his medallion.

Hades finished tying off the bandages, and the lizard flexed his fingers. If only he'd broken them after he'd become a witcher, then they wouldn't hurt so damn much.

“Ready?” Hades asked.

Zerrex nodded, pausing only to grin and kick his fallen sword up to his hand with a wink, and Hades rolled his eyes as the lizard spun the blade before sheathing it. “We've got an alchemist to turn into a potion. And I guess we should get our stuff back, too.”

Hades sighed, then led the way to the shielded archway. The two studied it for a few moments, and then Zerrex noted: “I bet there's a way to turn it on and off at will. Maybe a password, or touching the stones in order.”

“It's definitely built into the archway.” Hades said, and he and Zerrex traded looks before they both drew their swords and stabbed them into either side of the arch, prying into the bricks on either side of the doorway.

Magic flashed and sparked, a piercing scream making both witchers wince before they managed to pop loose their bricks at almost the same time, and then they quickly leapt backwards, Hades shifting out of the way and Zerrex covering his face as the doorway half-collapsed and half-exploded as the magic circuit was interrupted.

They were left standing in front of a sizzling hole, their medallions vibrating intensely before they slowly calmed, the two looking down the hall beyond as a last few sizzles of magic crackled along the edge of the shattered doorway.

“He's going to hear us coming.” noted Zerrex.

“Then let's not keep him waiting.” Hades answered.

The halls beyond had been reinforced, and they were able to follow the construction to a wing of the fortress that looked like excavated wreckage. Had this been the workshop of some previous alchemist or sorcerer, or was it the result of their new friend's various 'experiments?'

“Crazy mage. Why are the ones who make potions always crazy?”

“Carelessness while handling toxic chemicals. We're mutants and we still get drunk and crazy from half the things we stick our hands into.”

“As long as you aren't sticking your dick in it.” Hades muttered.

Zerrex huffed, but before he could retort, they both heard a shift: in a flash, the two had their swords at the ready, even as a single mercenary jumped out from around a corner and swung at them with his own blade.

His head was off even before his own sword made contact with Zerrex's, who deflected the blade sharply down. Body and head tumbled to the floor, and Hades grimaced: was that someone who had been sent out to meet them, or had he just stumbled across their path?

The door he'd popped out led to a stairway, and they hurried up the twisting steps into a squat tower. Now, finally, they could both feel the tingle of magic in their medallions as well as hear conversation ahead.

“-ready, idiots. They'll be here soon. Now, I've given you both amulets that should negate or reflect their magic.” Definitely the alchemist. “Do not underestimate them!”

“Funny, coming from you!” Zerrex said loudly, before he muttered to a glaring Hades: “Bomb.”

Even the wolf had to smile at this, as Zerrex sauntered down the hall, and the smaller male followed, palming the bomb out of one of his sidepacks and holding it behind his back.

Zerrex strode into the doorway and leaned it in with that big shit-eating grin of his. The one that always drove Hades crazy, because if there was one thing he was good at, it was provoking people. “So hey there. Sorry about your cow, but if you wanna join us on the way out we can make it up with a pony ride instead.”

“Witchers. Good.” The alchemist gestured across the open room: but now it had been largely cleared, with only a few crates remaining, and a chair in which the alchemist sat, his hands tented, his eyes studying the scene with cruel glee.

Six mercenaries stood, all of them carrying silver weapons, several shivering and wild-eyed: they'd imbibed potions. The wonder wasn't that they weren't dead already, really, but then again, they were dealing with an alchemist. And as arrogant as he was, he seemed to have some special knowledge of their mutations and abilities, which meant they couldn't underestimate him as a foe. “Now, I will admit that to this day it baffles me why silver injures monsters in a way steel does not. How is it that a simple silver blade can pierce what a steel bolt cannot, or cleave bleeding wounds in flesh that even barbed shrapnel fails to rend?

“All I can think of is some form of allergy. Some reaction to the alloy compound. Today, however, I am gifted with a chance to receive two answers: whether or not witchers count as 'monsters' for the sake of this silver allergy, and whether your silver blades are truly as durable and dangerous as they say, or if these more modest weapons will suffice.”

“I mean you could also just like, ask. Why is that so hard?” Zerrex questioned pointedly, before he added almost casually: “You guys know you're like, going to die, right? If you took any of the potions he offered you, you're already dead.”

“The witcher lies. Don't let him distract you.” the alchemist said contemptibly, before he added easily: “Why, look at me, I sampled the brews myself so I could tell you their effects!”

“Yeah, look at him. Creepy dude's a mutant himself.” Zerrex pointed out, as one of the mercenaries shifted, breathing hard, hands kneading, squeezing painfully across the pole of the ugly silver... that's not even a mace. Just a chunk of silver on the end of a stick. Gods above, why? Why...

“You know, I'm curious.” Zerrex said after a moment. “What's the obsession here? You get kicked out of witcher school or something?”

The alchemist sneered at this, before he said calmly: “Remember. A bonus if you can take either witcher alive, but an extra hundred orens to whoever shuts this idiot up.”

“If only it was that easy.” Hades intoned, before he lit the bomb in his hand with a quick Igni Sign, then flicked the bomb in an easy underhand just past the wall of the reptile as Zerrex covered his face and protected himself with the Quen Sign.

The bomb went off with a tremendous bang, the lizard grimacing as shrapnel cut against his scaled body and tore at his armor. But he got off lucky, protected as he was by both the Sign and the potent energy running through his hardened scales: the closer mercs went down with screams of agony, and even the furthest were knocked off their feet by the force of the blast.

Zerrex lowered his arm, and clicked his tongue at the sight that greeted him as his scales slowly returned to normal, brushing bits of debris away from his chest. He was fine getting away with nothing more than a few scratches, though: especially when most of the enemy force had already been killed from that bomb blast.

Not that all of them bore signs of lethal shrapnel, or that they'd been jellified by concussive blast: from the way one of the was clutching at his chest and the seizure another was in, the shock of the explosion had caused them to suffer heart attacks. Well, that was why normal people couldn't risk witcher potions: a witcher's body and brain could struggle to deal with the effects of sensory enhancement. Give that to your average person, even if you improved the odds a bit with some kind of sedative or dilutant...

The last mercenary was trembling, staring as Hades strode out from behind Zerrex. His eyes immediately locked on his bag,which sat in the lap of the alchemist, the fox's hands neatly tented over one of Hades' few truly treasured possessions: the satchel that contained his neat little box of witcher potions.

“If you make this easy on us all and just surrender, I won't have to show you first hand how much silver hurts, and how much longer it takes to kill someone with over steel.” Hades paused just long enough to bend down and pick up  one of the fallen silver weapons, and then he added contemptibly: “If you can even be called a 'person' anymore, that is.”

The alchemist chuckled, even as the last mercenary stammered, silver sword shaking in his grip: “P-Perhaps we should listen, Lord Gorrander-”

“I paid good money to you and your soldiers to provide me ample security. But don't worry. Even in death you mercenaries have a purpose to serve.” dismissed the alchemist contemptibly, and Hades' eyes widened before he bared his fangs in a mixture of shock and disgust as one of the bodies of the dead convulsed.

The stomach ripped open, vines crowning upwards, twisted with bone and viscera; a blossom like a dragon's skull yawned open, puking toxic gases into the air. In a thousand years, Hades never would have believed the horror of what he was witnessing, if he hadn't just seen it with his own eyes.

“Archespore!” The thing's roots and tendrils were already spreading across the corpse, making it quiver and shake as it turned towards him on predatory instinct, vomiting a sticky secretion at him. Hades narrowly avoided it, then sharply retaliated with Igni, and the hideous plant screamed.

The other corpses were bursting open as Zerrex cursed, grasping at his sword before Hades called to him: the wolf kicked a sword in his direction, and while it wasn't his sword, it was still silver.

Silver weapons. Right.

Zerrex jumped out of the way as vines lashed at him: the archespore were growing with shocking speed, twined with the innards and viscera of the recently-dead: were the corpses affecting their growth somehow? But there was no time to think as he snatched up the silver sword in one hand and weaved his way towards the nearest dead, slashing into the mutant blossom as it yawned open and knocking it back with a hideous, bestial scream of pain.

He cut down into it, severing the blossom in half, and hissed as acidic 'blood' came blasting out of the head of the mutant plant. He slipped sharply away as it lashed back and forth violently and the corpse shook and danced with the vines  tearing against it, before the lizard gritted his teeth at the sight of the blossom regenerating.

Hades sent another blast of Igni out, incinerating a second plant, before something in the corner of his eye warned him to move, the wolf narrowly avoiding a full spray of acid from the plant he had previously thought he'd burnt to a crisp.

But new plant life was surging through the old cracked-and-blackened skin, shaking off ashes and charred flesh as more roots and tendrils emerged from the corpse and twined back into it and around it, almost as if-

The wolf flashed another Igni Sign, even though at this point it sapped most of his remaining focus and energy: fire blasted across the corpse, and the plant screamed and shook as it twisted and writhed as its source of power burned, the witcher shouting: “It's the corpses!”

“Got it!” Zerrex swept up one of the silver maces from the ground as he charged at another archespore, avoiding a spray of acid vomit before he flung the weapon hard: it punched into the blossom, knocking it arching backwards before the lizard swept in and chopped hard with the silver sword through the base of the plant.

Toxic sap spurted from the narrow stalk as the mutant plant toppled backwards, and Zerrex grimaced as he seized into the base of the archespore, feeling it writhing, flexing, growing under his grip before he stomped on the dead body, then grunted in effort as he yanked back, uprooting the disgusting life from its fetid soil.

He grimaced as vines whipped and snapped at him, cursing under his breath at the sight of the plant-mutant's 'heart;' some kind of pulsing, bulbous mass, as if the archespore had infected and merged with all the organs of the body to create... this.

He tossed the uprooted plant down, then stomped on the bulb, foot crushing the heart of the mutant in a satisfying burst of blood and stinking juices. There was no time to savor the victory, however, as the remaining archespore were continuing to rapidly grow, drawing more power from the dead bodies than should have ever been possible as they focused in on the threat of the witchers with instinctual cunning.

One spat a spray of acid, and Hades narrowly avoided it, but stepped on a vine that immediately seized the opportunity to snap out from under him, knocking him off his feet. He hit the ground hard on his back before swearing as the archespore lunged in, narrowly deflecting a bite from the skull-like blossom with his sword before it yawned open-

Zerrex punted the plant's blossom hard, sending it whipping around in a circle like a tetherball before he sliced into the base of the plant. But this one had grown thicker, harder; his sword not cutting all the way through, and the plant screamed as it twisted back towards him with blossom-jaws opening wide.

Hades made the Sign of Aard, blasting the head of the plant backwards, and Zerrex grit his teeth as he yanked back before chopping again into the bleeding wound at the base of the archespore, severing the plant completely. Then he stumbled with a gasp as a blast of poison directly collided with his back, pain shocking his entire body as steam rose from his seared armor.

Hades moved forwards, leaping to his feet and pouncing on the plant: he didn't have the energy for another Sign, but he was able to spear his silver sword down into the stalk of the plant and through the mangled, malformed corpse fueling it, the plant screaming in agony.

He moved quickly, pulling a flask of oil out of his sidepack and dumping it quickly down the flat of his silver sword as he twisted the weapon hard: a moment later, his hands found a match he lit with a flick of his thumb and held against the blade, and fire exploded into life, licking down the sword and into the open wound, feeding flame straight into the heart of the mutant plant.

He bared his fangs as he bore down, ignoring the whipping tendrils, the upheaving roots, the way the corpse under him bucked and jiggled as flame spread with unnatural speed through its body; Zerrex, meanwhile, was rushing another plant, fingers quickly forming Aard to blast the blossom of the plant away when its jaws open, and the spray of acid instead burst in a wide arc that splattered uselessly against the magic barrier the alchemist had protected himself inside as he continued to watch with a calm smile.

Zerrex slashed his sword forwards, but to his shock, the archespore's roots and vines snapped upwards, blocking the strike. He cursed, then ducked with a wince when the blossom came biting back around before he slammed the pommel of his sword into it and shouted: “Hey asshole, either do something or throw me that sword!”

The remaining mercenary, who was panicking against the wall, flinched and gasped before he looked at the silver sword in his hand, and then he half-flung it, sending it clattering across the ground. The lizard moved with surprising grace as he leapt over the corpse and dodged a bite from the blossom at the same time, then hit the ground in a roll and swept up the fallen silver sword.

The blossom bit at him, and Zerrex deflected it with a hard swipe of both silver blades before he whirled in with a roar and slammed both swords into the base of the archespore, cleaving through it before he dropped to a kneel and tore both swords into the open chest of the corpse.

He twisted as the base of the plant writhed, then grunted as he levered hard inwards with both blades, popping the core of the plant upwards into the air. Then, in a single swift movement, his blades whirled around, scissoring through the mutant heart of the plant and shredding it apart.

Hades was already at the last, spearing his sword through the blossom when it tried to bite him before he twisted hard to the side and dropped his weight on the pommel, stabbing the sword into the floor to pin the archespore. Roots writhed through the corpse like worms as vines snapped through the air in pain, but Hades pushed through with a grimace, protecting himself with his arms as tendrils snapped against them.

He shoved another flask down into the archespore, then leapt over it, twisting in midair and making the Sign of Igni as the deadly blossom finally wrenched free of the earth and whirled around, only to scream in frustration and agony as the corpse it had grown out of exploded a moment later in a tremendous conflagration, chunks of gore and plant hailing down throughout the room.

A quiet clapping filled the air, and the witchers both turned to face the alchemist: he smiled at them beneath his mask, his eyes gleaming as he whispered: “Marvelous. Truly marvelous. But you have one left.”

Hades and Zerrex both looked at the mercenary, who was wide-eyed and terrified, shaking his head furiously as he blurted out: “P-Please, no no, I ain't... look at me, I ain't one of those things!”

“Get out of here. But wait outside. We'll have to take you to a friend to get that archespore pod out of you.” Zerrex said, and Hades only grunted.

The mercenary scrambled away with a thankful sob, and the alchemist tilted his head in interest, asking curiously: “Now, why would you do that? An enemy with a monster inside him-”

“Witchers kill monsters, we're not bandit hunters.” Hades said contemptibly, before he caught the silver sword that Zerrex tossed him, spinning the familiar blade easily in his hand, then squeezing the handle of the weapon. Of his weapon. “We break curses. We deal with chaos.”

“And we're always more interested in the root of evil than some outstretched branch.” Zerrex finished, pointing his own silver sword at the alchemist.

“Gorrander is a pun, you know.” the alchemist said calmly, clearly unfettered. He paused to open Hades satchel and gently remove the box within, opening it to reveal several bottles. His long fingers removed one as he continued calmly: “There is a story from my homeland, that roughly translates to 'gore land,' but more literally means 'the place made of flesh.'

“It is said, in this cursed place, that a marching army so maddened the forest spirits that they sacrificed their own forest; fused them into tree and earth, created a terrible, wailing land of mire, plant, and flesh. This land spreads, not merely by its stretching roots, but by the seeds and fruits it produces. They are beautiful, are they not?”

The alchemist smiled as he gestured at one of his uprooted plants, before he easily gestured at them, then tipped back the potion in his hand and drank deeply.

He shivered for a moment: only a moment, before he smacked his lips and easily set down the box. They could see the potion taking effect, though: the fidget of his fingers, the darkening and widening of his eyes, the uncontrolled rigor of his grin. “Bitter.”

“I flavor mine sometimes. Vesemir always yelled at me for it, but so far I haven't grown an extra eyeball or anything. At least, not where anyone can see it.” Zerrex said, as he sheathed his silver blade and drew his steel instead.

“If you like your goreland so much, why don't you go back home to it?” Hades asked, as he readied himself.

The alchemist smiled, then he reached up and removed his mask: his face was bare of fur and covered not just in scars, but bulges and tumors, what looked almost like sick... life. And his eyes glowed, as mutant as their own, as he stood and spread his arms, answering: “Because I was called here by an old friend, And t would be rude not to share the gifts of my country with yours.”

“Who called you here?” Hades asked sharply, as his fingers tightened on his silver sword.

“And hey, what's your name? Would be rude to kill you without asking who you really are, I guess.” Zerrex added as he shouldered his sword and shifted on the spot, but his body was tense and ready, his smile not reaching his cold eyes.

“You may call me Zuzhou.” The alchemist answered, and then he smiled and bowed backwards as the floor shook, then erupted, a flash of magic blinding the two witchers as something massive tore through the ground.

Hades stumbled, then barely managed to parry Zuzhou, who had produced a dagger. He smiled at him as he leaned in, his breath reeking and toxic, one hand grinding the dagger against his silver sword as the other stroked almost tenderly down the blade. “Tell me, witcher, am I mortal or monster?”

“You're an asshole.” Hades growled, before he slammed a knee up into the alchemist's crotch, and the reward of his hiss of pain was a delight to Hades' ears.

Zerrex, meanwhile, was staring up at the massive archespore, its thick, tree-trunk of a stem fattened by several corpses along its length. The massive, skull-like blossom of the hideous plant roared at him, spraying toxic gases into the air before it dove forwards, and Zerrex leapt backwards with a curse.

The plant snapped upwards, sending shrapnel from the floor in all directions, and Zerrex leapt to the side, narrowly avoiding being caught by the lash and stumbling in pain from the slew of shrapnel that struck him.

The archespore roared in fury, making the entire room shake: Hades tried not to let it distract him as he traded blows with Zuzhou, silver sword clashing violently again and again against the rapid strikes of the dagger. His arms ached with the effort as the alchemist only grinned his ghastly grin and pressed violently forwards.

He suddenly twisted, slashing into Hades' side: the witcher's armor stopped it from cutting into him, but it still felt like he had been kicked by a mule. He staggered, swiping his sword out, then cursed when the alchemist leapt back and the massive monster of a plant twisted towards Hades with a roar, vomiting a gout of acid.

Hades dove away, hitting the uneven ground hard: the archespore's head twisted after him, then flinched in surprise as a rock pelted its blossom, Zerrex shouting: “Eat me, you dickhead!”

“Why, do you taste good?” mocked the alchemist, and Zerrex's eyes widened as Zuzhou's blade caressed his throat as his hand seized into his hair-

Zerrex sharply formed the Quen sign, gritting his teeth as his scales became like metal before he did the simplest thing he could do: he flung himself backwards, knocking the surprised vulpine over before crushing him into the earth under him with a squawk. His dagger tore across Zerrex's throat, but failed to dig more than a gash, and the reptile was able to sharply roll over before swinging the pommel of his sword down.

But Zuzhou, his reflexes and strength enhanced from the potion he'd drank, caught the pommel of the sword and slowed it enough that the back of his hand only thunked painfully against his head instead of knocking him out or crushing in his skull. Then, to Zerrex's shock, something tore out of his robes and seized the reptile's arm before he yanked hard, almost throwing the lizard over his head.

Zerrex rolled and spun around automatically, slashing his sword out, and he was at least rewarded with a shriek of pain. The lizard snarled at what he was faced with all the same, feeling little relief as his eyes glared at the monster the alchemist had made himself into, revealed to the world from beneath the open body of his robes.

Vines, roots, tendrils grew out of his back, and tumors and knots of flesh bulged from his chest. Long vines, almost tentacles,writhed around his armor, and he seemed to be bleeding a mix of sap and blood from the shallow cut Zerrex had scored as he hissed: “Is that the best you can do.”

Zerrex responded by sharply forming the Aard Sign and blasting Zuzhou full in the face with it, knocking the alchemist crashing head-over-heels backwards, but the archespore roared in indignation before it lashed away from Hades and slammed down on top of the lizard. He was crushed into the ground chest-first, saved from being crushed only by the fact his Quen Sign was still active, and his scales were still painfully hard.

Hades hissed, before his eyes widened as they locked on his potion box. He ran immediately towards this, yanking the lid off before he grabbed one of the flasks out of the kit, then he turned towards the archespore.

Potion in hand, he ran quickly up the stem of the beast as it continued to crush down on Zerrex, and the mutant plant reacted too late before it screamed in pain when Hades stabbed his blade into the thick neck beneath the bulging blossom. It writhed with a scream, but Hades clung on for dear life, feeling the bottle crack in his hand from the strength of his grip before he shoved it into the wound he had created, ignoring the sting of acid against his hand.

The archespore twisted hard, and Hades cursed as he was flung off, hitting the wall before he fell to the ground with a grunt. Zerrex, meanwhile, gasped as he pushed himself out of the crater before wincing as a kick struck his neck and knocked him onto his back, the lizard glaring up at Zuzhou as the alchemist leveled his own steel sword towards his face.

“All that work not to die, and all you've managed is...” Zuzhou was cut off, wincing, then looking up in shock as the massive archespore gave a keening wail, foam and bubbling blackness spilling up out of its gaping flower as the blossom began to wilt. “W-What?”

Zerrex seized the fox's ankle, then yanked him off his feet, sending him tumbling with a curse. He tried to stab the sword in, but Zerrex caught it in the crook of his arm, then twisted hard as he threw himself past the fox.

His blade clanged loose, bouncing across the ground as Zuzhou rolled over with a snarl, his body writhing as he hissed: “What have you done?”

The archespore was withering, its body shaking, the corpses that bedecked it moaning, writhing. And now, from the blackness sweating out of its pores, the dark foam that was replacing the drool as great, fat, rotten petals fell to the ground... “Looks like it doesn't like the taste of Black Blood.”

“Bastard witchers!” the alchemist snarled before he lunged.

And Zerrex grinned as he caught the silver sword Hades had already flung, then he swept hard down, and Zuzhou was too late to stop himself before he screamed in agony as one of his arms was severed from his body.

A moment later, Hades followed up with Igni, blasting the creature in the chest. The fox staggered backwards, writhing as his robes, his plant-like mutations caught aflame, and then he suddenly turned and bolted, screaming in fury and agony as he fled the room.

It wasn't exactly the best victory they had ever had, as Zerrex fell back on his ass with a wheeze and Hades groaned, then grimaced in disgust at the sight of the melting archespore as it toppled drunkenly to one side. They sat for a few moments together, and then Zerrex tossed Hades his sword, the wolf fumblingly catching it before he grumbled: “You missed his neck.”

“Oh, sorry, I must have been a little off due to the ten tons of plant I just had squishing my brains out!”

“What brains?”

“Shut up.”

Silence for a moment, and then Hades said: “He was a mutant.”

“Every culture has had their witchers.”

“Lies.”

Zerrex shrugged, but he knew what Hades was thinking, and why his reaction was so sharp. He licked his lips, and then he said finally: “Well, we were on our way back to Kaer Morhen anyway. We can figure things out there.”

“What's to figure out? Silver worked. He's a monster. We hunt monsters.” Hades said.

For once, Zerrex didn't feel like arguing with this simplification of their work, and after a moment he sighed before he stood shakily and said wryly: “Come on, we still need to find where they took the rest of our equipment. And now we should get you bandaged up, big boy.”

“Eat me.”



Hades was in a foul mood as they returned to the castle. Not just because they had found out from the captive they were half-dragging by horse behind them that the asshole mercenaries had already sold most of their equipment, not just because his whole fucking body hurt and that included his ass, which was getting further punished by this uncomfortable fucking saddle, and not just because of the dark thoughts consuming his brain about the mutant alchemist.

Vesemir was going to give them shit about this.

And what Zerrex had said...

“You don't really think that thing is some distant country's... witcher?”

“I don't know what he is.” Zerrex said after a moment. The lizard was largely wrapped in bandages, half-naked, armor and swords shoved in an ungainly sack hanging over his shoulder. “Maybe some distant land figured it was easier to become monsters than fight them. Maybe he's just some crazy asshole who drank too much magic juice. Maybe we're the baddies.”

Hades fixed him with a grumpy look, and Zerrex admitted: “Okay, we're not the baddies. But whether he's some kind of... reject from another witcher school, an alchemist who figured out his own brand of mutation, or just a monster... we'll deal with him when the time comes.”

Hades grunted, but then he nodded after a moment with a sigh. “I better not come back here one day to learn that you've been killed and eaten by him and his plants.”

“Well, if you're worried so much, we can always hunt him together.” Zerrex said amiably.

“Witchers work alone.”

“You know we don't have to do everything by the book, right? And besides. It's not like you don't enjoy my company.”

Hades smiled wryly at this, tilting his head towards the lizard as he retorted: “Maybe I just don't want to babysit you.”

“You love babysitting me, though.” Zerrex answered with that stupid grin of his, and Hades sighed, but smiled as he turned his eyes down the road, towards the spires of Kaer Morhen in the distance.

Then both witchers looked back as their mercenary hostage asked weakly: “Sirs, can we please stop? I need to rest me legs.”

“Just lay down and let the horses drag you for a bit, it'll be fine.” Hades grumbled, and the mercenary groaned.

“We'll stop for water just ahead, don't worry. We're almost there. Besides, you should be worrying about whether or not Vesemir decided he needs to cut you open. Or maybe we'll need to make you swallow hot embers.” Zerrex added.

“I was just tryin' to make a living, mate!” howled the mercenary, and Hades sighed tiredly as Zerrex gave a wry grin. Yes, he certainly understood that, just like he knew it was important to save people, to find out if they could how these lurking plant-mutants worked, to find out more about Zuzhou...

But gods above, give him all the monsters of the Conjunction, just spare him from having to deal with people.", "pools_count": 0, "title": "Planting A Seed, Chapter 1", "deleted": "f", "public": "t", "mimetype": "image/png", "pagecount": "1", "rating_id": "2", "rating_name": "Adult", "ratings": [ { "content_tag_id": "4", "name": "Sexual Themes", "description": "Erotic imagery, sexual activity or arousal", "rating_id": "2" }, { "content_tag_id": "5", "name": "Strong Violence", "description": "Strong violence, blood, serious injury or death", "rating_id": "2" } ], "submission_type_id": "12", "type_name": "Writing - Document", "guest_block": "t", "friends_only": "f", "comments_count": "2", "views": "983" }