[b][u][center]Safeguards Against Foreigners
by Draconicon[/center][/u][/b]







"There's something suspicious about that man."

Kai Lee cocked his head to one side, the bustle of his lobby falling into the background as the snow leopard twisted his ears back. 

"I'm serious, look at him. He's just...standing there."

"He's just waiting for the elevator, man."

"No way. He's looking at everyone, listening to everything. I swear, he -"

"Are you referring to me, young man?" 

The hustle and bustle around the snow leopard ceased as Kai Lee turned on his heel. The mirrored metallic floor of K. L. Incorporated bounced his clicking footsteps around the room. The clerks at the front desk - plugged into their branch-computers via root-cords to the neck - continued their silent work, and other clients and customers fell quiet and still as he crossed the room to his offensive guests. 

[i]Outsiders,[/i] the snow leopard thought as he flicked his eyes between the two speakers. It was obvious: synthetic fibers in their clothes, tourist backpacks, but most of all, not knowing who they were talking about. Anyone in Kusan City knew who he was. His bio-science had built the city from the ground up, clothed its inhabitants, given them a chance to leap leagues ahead of their neighbors and allow the little jungle city-state to compete with world-powers in certain areas. 

Locals would know that, and why he attended to everything. Outsiders did not. 

He stopped one step away from the raccoon and pigeon, eyes shifting from one to the other. The raccoon - red-shirted to the pigeon's blue, shorts to the bird's slacks - had been the one muttering. Kai Lee clasped his hands behind his back. 

"You find me suspicious."

"W-well -"

"Do you?"

"Well...it's shifty, ain't it?"

"Shut up," the pigeon muttered. 

"Well, he's asking, ain't he? And come on, look at him."

"I'm looking at a fucking suit, man! This guy's money."

They thought they were being quiet, he supposed, or that he would ignore them talking to each other. Perhaps they were the sort of foreigners that dismissed anyone outside their country because they were different. Whatever the reason, it was certainly insulting. Kai Lee cleared his throat. 

"If you are done looking down at me -"

"I wasn't! I was just saying -"

"Do. Not. Interrupt me."

The raccoon fell silent. The pigeon knew better than to speak, clearly. Kai Lee shook his head as he continued. 

"If you are done looking down at me, then allow me to explain something to you. There are many people out there that have gone through horrific events, events that have marked them down to their bones. As a result, these people will be quite...attentive to their surroundings. It is their way of feeling safe, even in a place that has been made safe for them. Commentary on such behavior is rude."

"Look, if you want an apology -"

"Command Override 00751D3R."

Both the raccoon and the pigeon stiffened. The snow leopard's attempt at being understanding was done. 

"Remove your clothes."

As the outsiders began stripping down, Kai Lee glanced out of the corners of his eyes. The others in the lobby - businessmen, postal workers, and other people that regularly showed up to conduct business with his company - had already gone back to their routines. A few looked his way, smiling knowingly at the foreigners helplessly removing their clothes, but most were not paying attention at all. 

"I was willing to offer you an explanation, a chance to be better. No, all of it," he said as the raccoon blushed, hesitating with his shirt off and his fingers hesitating over his pants. "But as you have elected to be rude, instead, and insensitive, I am invoking Outsider Security Protocol."

"The hell...what was...how?!" the raccoon grunted. 

"Is this...is this about the paperwork at border security?" the pigeon asked, blushing as his hands moved clearly outside his consent to take off his pants. 

"You signed paperwork when you left the airport to enter Kusan City. Among those forms were rules you agreed to, regulations you indicated you understood, and waivers you signed off on. Among those waivers was one that signed away your right to free will if you offended one of us," he said, shaking his head. "You were sprayed with a certain collection of artificial spores which were programmed to respond to voice commands. For the duration of your trip, until you are sprayed down at the airport at departure, you are subject to the loss of free will from anyone that says the proper phrase. Throw your clothes away; you may keep yours, pigeon."

"But...fuck!" The raccoon shouted as he threw his clothes as far as he could, leaving him completely naked, exposed, hanging free. "This is fucking illegal!"

"It was completely transparent in the paperwork. But there are different laws in Kusan City than in your homeland. Now, go; be thankful that I'm only subjecting you to humiliation."

"Come on, dude," the pigeon muttered, dragging the raccoon along by the arm. "Don't piss him off."

"Better yet, learn to keep your judgments to yourself," Kai Lee said as the pair of them turned and left, one in his tighty-whities, the other in nothing at all. "If you hurry, you may find a clothes merchant in the bazaar around the corner."

He imagined that most people would find the view rather nice. The pigeon and raccoon were hardly unendowed, and they had the sway of chubby tourists the world over. Kai Lee only shook his head, turning around, but not before hearing the raccoon grumble to himself.

"That...that PRICK!" 







[b][u][center]The End[/center][/u][/b]