GANG of HOPPERS
My brothers and I in the ZooKzin War
by Dori Hopps

Written by Dan Rush

(c) Zootopia 2016 Walt Disney Cooperation 

Chapter 12

October 2nd, 2041
Compound of the Rattlebacks
MCB Quanaco, Savanna Central

     “Deployment advanced to 20 October. Elements of the 2nd Fleet Marine Division shall be prepared for deployment no later than 15 October 2041. All mammals of the 2nd Fleet Marine are authorized leave of absence between 5 and 15th of October 2041...”

      So this was finally it. Almost one year after the Kzinti began pounding us with rockets and naval shells....killing our citizens, our friends, our families. Destroying our homes and ruthlessly marching across the Great Eastern Sea...finally! We were going on the offensive...

      Between July 11th and October 2nd, there had been two big naval engagements and several daring lightening raids carried out by our “swabbies”. On July 15th, a navy strike force led by the assault carrier Sayoni slammed the port city of Kamashi-Chuff south of the Kzinti capital and wrecked their huge fuel refinery and port facility there. Then there was the battle of the Polar Straits, a big night time, knife fight between the “Kzinti Express” and our 2nd mobile expedition task force consisting of four destroyers, a heavy cruiser and two Thresher submarine drones...

 
      The two fleets ran into each other in the dark and all hell broke loose! It was a “Tooth and claw” fight in a closet with big ships! At least that’s what Jackson told us...

    “I was on top of the fighting bridge on the port “fly wing”. I turned the spotlight to where I thought I saw something and all I saw was this big tower and then our guns swung to the side and BOOM! And then I ducked and hoped for the best...”

      Jackie has to be more bunny than fox because he has a serious amount of good luck over his head. The old destroyer Growler got beat up...not as bad as her first encounter with the Kzinti but trashed well none the less. She did score two torpedo hits on that Kzinti heavy cruiser and killed their admiral with a close in big gun shot on their bridge. When Jackson showed us all the big shell hole just below where he was standing....well....our thumping feet made a lot of noise.

      Then there was a very significant engagement north of Madagascar in the Sybunian Sea. Our task force with the new drone carrier (ZDC Acorn Heights) and several escorts engaged a Kzinti carrier attack force that had been harassing our Southern shores for months. They lost their biggest carrier with all its’ experienced pilots, thanks to a pair of drone torpedoes that snapped the carrier in half like a twig. The results caused the Kzinti to keep the rest of their fleet closer to home where they could maximize their advantages against our drone submarine fleet.

      So now the high command felt it was time for us to take the fight to the Kzinti. We...the grunts....only got this small “smidge” of the information, the warning order for deployment. As we all sat in the hootch together, there was happiness mixed with worry mixed with trepidation mixed with a lot of foot thumping. You’re happy to see that all the waiting around and training is finally over and you’re going to see some action yet you’re wincing and twisting around because obviously....you’re scared....to varying degrees.

      The recent “horror show” pops into your head. It seems that during the aftermath of one of these naval battles....our side boarded a Kzinti ship and brought back some film. It showed what they did to some otter Marines they caught on the Outback Islands. They wanted us all to watch the films to make sure we were under no illusions as to the kind of pure predators we were dealing with.

     The otters were all tortured horribly...their tails were chopped off with swords. Some were skinned alive. Some were mercifully be-headed...if you could call them screaming and crying before their “nogs” went flying off a kind of mercy. If the otters displayed exceptional courage in the eyes of the Kzinti...they were shot in the head then buried with how the Kzinti view “battle honors”. At least in those occasions, they showed our side some decent respect.  

     Still others....others were stabbed clean through with spit poles skillfully enough that they still lived as they were roasted and baste’d.....alive over a fire. They were kept alive after that just long enough to scream as they were dismembered and devoured...with added sauce for good taste.

    You find that Kzinti would rather die than surrender or be captured. They would “booby” their bodies with explosives or feign surrender then go nuts till they got shot dead. In one case...our navy brought back eighty live Kzinti prisoners to Sandy Point Naval Station and they broke out of the detention center and killed as many mammals as they could get their claws and teeth on until all eighty of them were shot to pieces.

    It was a while after getting these notices before anyone in the hooch talked. I took my copy and set it in a folder so I could take it home as a keep sake...if I survived. I didn’t try to cast a comforting illusion in my head to feel better, the Kzinti had well proved their willingness to die and take a few mammals with them by any means they could possess.

    “Ten days leave.” I said as I sat on my bed with Nori. “I have to call Linzi and get everything organized.”

     “Yeah.” Nori replied. “I have to make out my will. Simple...everything to you.”

     “Bear, Bear?” I replied. “Mom and Dad?”

     “I was just being nice.” Nori replied. “We’re not planning on dying are we?” Nori said to me feigning confidence. “Huh? We’re not planning on dying are we?”

     “No way.” I replied as I patted Nori’s paw. “No way in hell.”

     “I want to leave all my stuff to Mamma and Paw too.” Ori said as he sat on the floor.

      “That will be a curious event.” Powen snickered.

      “Shut up nerd!” Ori snapped. “There’s nothing sick I would leave to Mamma and Paw!”

       Owen sat on his bed giggling....

       “And fluck you too Owen!” Ori snapped! “You don’t need that stupid bottle of Castor Oil any more neither!”

      “So? No idea of where we’re heading?” Powen asked Owen since he was our Sargent. 

      “Pick a place.” Owen replied. “Roya or Wotje. The rocket bases have to be priority one. Roya’s going to be a mother flucker to assault. Wotje is mostly flat sand and coral rocks yet that won’t be easy to crack. We have to knock out those rocket bases and stop them from throwing snit on us. At least now it’s not every fricken day.”

      Owen looked at me. “You better make sure you don’t leave any kittens behind when you leave. If I would offer any advice Dori? I’d swear off mating Linzi till after this snit is over but...I’m not you.” 

     We all looked back at Owen snickering because of all of us in the brood...he was a freaking “horn dog” with no hump control. I knew he’d.....well? You can try as hard as hell but you can’t stop the urge to scratch yourself when you contract “Crotch critters”...

     “Again?” I asked him as I walked outside of the hooch as he stood smoking his pipe...

     “Um? Yeah......” He replied quietly, his ears drooping from embarrassment.

     “ Damn it all to Frith! When will you ever learn Owen?! What was it this time?” I asked.

      Owen looked around and whispered...”A kangaroo. Like I couldn’t help it ok? Her eyes undressed me and I just had to give her a go.”

      “How the fluck?” I couldn’t help but giggle at him...seriously? A rabbit and a Kangaroo. If she got pregnant, I could only wonder at the result of that “bun bake”. Once again....shave my poor brother bald and “draw a pipe swab” culture to check for worse results. Owen’s just as lucky as our nephew Jackson.....he thankfully continued not to win “The Clap” lottery.

     Speaking of Jackson Wilde...he showed up in the compound on the 3rd after getting leave off the Destroyer Growler while she sat in dry dock getting repaired. He had been advanced to First Class Petty Officer and couldn’t hold back his excitement at the news he’d just gotten....

     “It’s happening guys!” He said. “Darla’s pregnant!”

      We all hugged Jackie and celebrated something good with a bottle of Dad’s “Mash”...but of course....Dad had to come up again as a subject. 

    Jackson had visited him and Mom before us and we wanted to know how he was doing...

    “Sigh....All this terrible stuff isn’t doing him any good.” Jackson said as he looked at his shot glass. “My Dad can’t visit him any more. Gramps doesn’t know him, all he sees is a fox and he goes nuts. He’s lucid for brief periods, he knew who I was...but most of the time he’s all feral and hopping around squeaking. At night....Grams (Bonnie) has to cage him to keep him from bolting away. Most of the day now....he’s “in the wild” in the yard grazing grass.”

      The constant, though now at this point it was less volumous, bombing and shelling was expediting our Dad’s rapid decline towards complete Ferality and mental degration. Me being somewhat familiar now with the progress and expected symptoms and results...I tried to avoid answering any questions from the others as to how long Dad had left in this world. In my heart...he wasn’t going to survive long enough for us to be home, when the war was over, when he finally did die but I could look at my brothers and know for sure that was on their minds.

             For the first time, my usually placid, calm and logical brother Powen broke his facade and he snapped..”I HATE THIS FRITH DAMNED FLUCKING WAR! STUPID FLUCKEN CAT BOX SCRATCHING FELINE MOTHER FLUCKERS!” (Kicking things around) WHAT DID WE EVER DO TO YOU?! FUCK YOU! YOU STUPID FLEA RIDDEN BAGS OF CRAP! ALL OF YOU FRICKEN SUCK!” (broken glass, kicked foot locker, over turned bed) 

      Everyone backed away a little as Powen sat with his ears drooped over his face after his outburst. He was breathing hard and heavy at first before he calmed down, slowly set his ears back behind his head and his gentle placity returned....”sigh....I needed that.” He said calmly.

      “I guess.” Owen replied as he leaned away with a look of shock on his face.

      Jackson wrapped an arm around Powen’s shoulders. “You ok Uncle?” Jackson asked as he wiggled that bottle of Dad’s “mash” in Powen’s face.

      “You shouldn’t drink too much of this Jackson.” Powen said as he took the bottle and “swigged” it! “Being drunk is unbecoming of you.”

       “And you getting drunk is fricken hillarious.” Jackson replied.

       “Jackie? How’s the wife?” Ori asked.

       “What kind of question is that?” Nori replied. “How do you think she is right now?” Nori said as he waved his paws over his stomach. When will she deliver Jackie?”

       “Gestation for otters is two months so we have 70 days to go.” Jackson replied. “I don’t want to know the sex. I want to be pleasantly surprised.”

        “Is it going to be a brood or a single?” Nori asked.

       “Looks like it’ll be a single first time out.” Jackson said. “I’m begging Frith for it to be our size and not have fox size traits. (giggles) Darla and I have been sketching what to expect between males and females. A three way hybrid could end up with so many different combinations. If it’s a female? I want her to have as much of her mother as possible. If it’s a son, I want him to be dominant rabbit with just a tinge of the other two. But we won’t be upset at whatever we’re given.”

       “Names?” Nori asked.

        “If it’s a female then it’ll be Darla’s Mothers first name and Bonnie for a middle name. If it’s a male then he’ll be a junior, Nicholas Wilde.” Jackson said.

        “How’s it feel wearing the Mammal of Honor?” I asked Jackie. He was awarded Zootopia’s highest military award for saving the Growler from being sunk by the Kzinti at the war’s outset....

        “Like having a lead weight shoved up my butt.” Jackson replied. “I think every mammal would have the same reply you know? What did I do? I left so many good friends in that flooded compartment, I often wonder why I didn’t die with them? Survivor guilt sucks. I’m doing better managing my sleeping problems...I’m sleeping all night now and I’m thankfully not a pain in Darla’s butt. Still....I miss my friends and it’s hard to feel you’re worthy of them being alive.”

       Owen rubbed Jackson’s head...”I bet it will all make sense when you watch your first cub....kitten.....cubbitten....you know? When you watch your first off spring being born? Not speaking from experience of course but when you come from a huge family? You understand pretty much what having a child does for your thinking. ”

        “I hope so.” Jackson said. “I’m thinking about putting in a chit for a separation from service. I mean I had my choice of any orders I wanted after I was awarded the “MOH” and I chose to stay with the Growler. Darla’s going to be separated because she’s “preggers” but the Navy will still pick up the tab for the birth and health checks for the first year.”

       Ori waved a paw at Jackie....”Have you seen the Kzinti up close? What are they like in a fight?”

       “Ferocious.” Jackson replied. “And they don’t give a damn about themselves, about their fellow Kzinti or any mammal...you get in their way and they’ll use anything to kill you.”

        Jackson looked at me...”Their hand weapons blow chunks out of mammal’s bodies, no clean through wounds. And they’re dirty and devious. Hell they even shoot their own kind if they try to surrender. We took a survivor off this Kzinti frigate we sank....he killed seven of my shipmates, bit and ripped the head off a rabbit without a sweat. It took whole magazines worth of magnum rounds to put down the bastard. He had a fox in his jaws and was ripping him apart...”

      Jackson looked at us all and got up. “I’m sorry Uncles...I have to step out for a little bit ok?”

      We all looked at each other and I walked out of the hooch to see Jackie sitting on a water drum...

      “Not at all the best news you guys would want to hear huh?” Jackie said as he sat pulling on his ears...

       “I’m more worried about you.” I said as I leaned against the drum. “I think....being honest? You’ve had enough. How much more time do you have?”

      “If I didn’t have the “MOH”, I’d probably be retained to the end of the war.” Jackson replied. “But even with Darla pregnant? I still don’t want to quit. Guess I have too much of Mom’s moxie.”

      “How are your parents?” I asked Jackson.

      “You should see my Dad’s arms. They’re guns! I swear he could rip arms off in a wrestling match he exercises so much in that “butt cart” of his. My mother? spends most of her time, where else, close to him. They do everything together. So far...thankfully....they haven’t been touched where they are in the hills. But I think you’re going to have a hard time getting Linzi away from my Mom, they are two sticks in a carrot patch.”

      I chuckled...”I’ve been told...You want my advice Jackie? Get out. You’ve done enough. You’ve seen too much already. It’s not like the fleets going to miss one rabbit.”

     “I told you Uncle....I have too much of my Mom’s Moxie to quit. One less rabbit is one less body to kick the snit out of these stupid tigers. I’m not ready to leave yet....knock on wood because Darla might win the arguments given this new situation. I’ll request a shore assignment soon. Right now? Your wedding takes more importance. My Mom is asking to be the bridal preparer.”

      “Like I’m going to say no to Judy? I don’t want my ass in my mouth for saying no to her.” I said. “You’ll be my ring bearer won’t you?”

       Jackson shook his head...”That should be for the youngest in the family, not me. Obviously Ori.”
  
       “We all talked about it and you got the unanimous run-a-way vote.” I said. “I would be honored.”

       “Thanks Uncle.” Jackson replied smiling.

       “When will you stop calling us all “Uncle” all the time? Sheesh we’re all younger than you, you make us sound like dusty old rabbits.” I joked.

       “Owen’s not dusty old.” Jackson said as he pretended to “paw off.” at least he could make the scratching less noticeable. Hope he doesn’t do that at the wedding....my mother will jump all over his snit.”

       I gave Jackson a shoulder punch....”You just think about what I said ok? Well...might as well think of it as a “group think” because we all think you’ve done your part but you’re the one who has to make the decision.”

       Jackson smiled at me and gave me a nuzzle kiss on my head...”Thanks Uncle. Congrats on your wedding. Linzi’s quite a find. Fits you like a glove.”

      “Must be a very tight glove.” I replied.

October 5th, 2041
Home...Bunnyburrough.

      We all stood for moment outside the old picket fence and just watched as the rest of our family swarmed about the skeletal frame of our old home. Rabbits don’t stay in holes forever, especially pissed off as heck rabbits who prefer a nice bed with fresh sheets to a pile of kicked dirt and a candle light. Our older sister Nancy came walking by with two of her youngest kittens and they both had hammers in their paws and were tripping their feet over the oversized work aprons they were wearing.

       “Are you slackers going to hold the fence up or get to work?” Nancy joked.

       “We’re on leave.” Powen replied.

       “Always excuses.” Nancy snickered back.

       “Looks great!” I said as I pointed. “Where’s Mom and Dad?”

       “At their cottage.” Nancy replied. “Momma had Daddy here for a spell. He asked about all of you.”

       We wasted no time going to our parent’s cottage and you know how it goes....Momma comes flying out again, can’t wait to smother us all. We don’t want to tell her were leaving yet...not till we had time with Dad. Linzi and her mother pop out of the house and I get tackled off my feet...

      “Mmmmm.....hi.......mmmmmm.” Linzi has me on my back and......

     “Mate! Mate! Mate! Mate!” The others are shouting. I sit up and Linzi pokes me in the snoot...”You can’t come in yet. I have to put the wedding dress away.”

     Ori giggles as he leans down to my ear....”Put her away you stud!”

    “Ori quit!” I huff. 

    Owen pulls me up onto my feet. “Everyone be respectful of the husband to be...for now.” Owen walked up to our mother and gave her a tight hug...”Hello Momma.” He said. He looked like he was going to crush her...

     “Your father’s in the back of the house in the garden.” Mom said. “He’s holding up well today but....”

      “We know momma.” Ori said as he kissed Mom on her cheek. All five of us walked through the cottage and stopped at the back door to see what Dad was doing. He was dressed in his usual farm clothes with the old worn ball cap and seemed to be fixated on a carrot stalk...

       “Hi Paw!” Owen yelped out as he led us all into the back yard.

       At first Dad didn’t speak. He waddled towards us and pulled Owen into his big arms as the rest of us swarmed around him...

       He took a moment to look at us all in our uniforms, rubbing his paws over us, showing his happy and very pleased face as he rubbed a finger over every award ribbon and button. He then walked up to me and gave me a hug...

       “I love you Dad.” I said as I snuggled him...

       “What a nice choice for a wife.” Dad said as he patted my cheek. “Don’t you mess this up.”

       “What is it with all the down votes of confidence here?” I huffed. “Dad? The rest of you? “Don’t you go screwing this up Dori.”

       “Now you know we’re pulling your tail.” Dad said as he sat down on a box. “I’m sure you all know by now that.....that I’m not doing all that good. This is one of my better moments.”

        “We heard....” Owen said mournfully. “We heard that Momma has to cage you at night.”

        “Well?....I don’t blame her.” Dad replied. “I’m quite a slippery fat bastard. Last time I went on “a bolt” sans “birthday suit” I ended up at your sister Judy’s place and had poor Nick up a tree....butt cart and all.”

         We laughed.

          “Some times though? It gets very bad for your poor mother, I hate to be such a burden on her.” Dad said as his ears drooped. “There’s times I don’t know who she is. I just lose everything and become this big fluffy cuss bulldozer, I’ve just about devoured half this garden and made a mess of things.”

         Dad then gestured us to lean in...”Maybe there’s a silver lining to this though? I get seriously horny.”

         “DAD!” Owen yelped! “For Frith’s sake!”

         “That’s? Just what your mother screams.” Dad said without shame.

         “Well? At least something good comes from it.” Ori said. Powen slapped him in the kisser...

         “You mind yourself!” Powen snapped at Ori, then turned to Dad. “Poppa? We’re all going to be deploying soon.”

         “I imagined you would.” Dad replied. “Boys? I’ve told you not to worry about me. And this time is a happy occasion not one to cry over. Hopefully I won’t revert in the middle of the service and attack your mother.”

         We half laughed and half cried...”Maybe we should just do it in the old ways?” I said...”All of us in the buff out in the woods?”

        “Just give Ori an opening.” Nori snickered.

          Owen took one of Dad’s paws in his...”We’re afraid that when we do deploy Paw....we won’t see you again.”

        “Boys we’ve been through this over and over...” Dad said. “What comes will come. All I can do is pray and beg Lord Frith to protect all my children, that you all protect each other. Let’s put aside all these sad things and focus on the wonderful thing coming.” Dad rubbed my head. “Did you have a “batch” party yet?”

       “Yes Dad.” I replied smirking. “I’m still going to get back at these lunatics.”

      Dad looked at the others....”What did you all do?”

      Ori snickered...”Transvestite fox.”

      “Dori claims he didn’t get aroused.” Powen said calmly.

      “Owen got aroused.” Nori snorted.

      “You want a fat lip?” Owen snarled at Nori.

      Dad laughed and wrapped an arm around my shoulders. “Come with me...the rest of you? Stay.”

      Dad and I walked together out the back gate of the yard and into the big field beyond which had me worried. I took hold of his paw and realized....it wasn’t as big as it used to be....then again to a kitten bunny, all the adult’s paws are huge. Dad stopped and pulled an envelope from his worn and torn overalls...

      “Consider this an investment for your future practice.” He said as he tried to put the envelope in my shirt pocket.

      “Dad? No....no, that’s your money....” I said. 

      “Don’t you reject it.” Dad replied sternly. “You reject it and I’ll beat your butt! Your Dad might be turning into a drooling, doddled field rabbit but he knows a good betting horse when he sees one. Besides....your Mom and I are good as is...”

       “Dad? honestly....” I tried to say no....but Dad’s eyes have a way of causing serious burns on the heart wall...

      “I just want to say that we’ve had a ton of children...a few gifted and a few more trouble than they’re worth at times but in you? I see a good future that’s worth the investment. Plus consider this an incentive to make sure you and the other four get home from all this mess no matter what happens to me. Remember?...you have a lot to live for son. Get home soon....get your brothers home with you. Understand me?”

       I felt my legs shiver. I knew then I wasn’t going to see Dad again as he was. He was looking exhausted and as if I needed proof...he started to revert and I found myself holding onto him as he became a squeeking, chirping wild looking feral rabbit. I was relieved that the other four showed up to help me carry him back to the cottage and sadly into his cage where he was happy munching on greens and carrots. So much for a night of us together in the barn doing silly stuff...then again that’s why Dad called our older brother Clemson before hand. Clem’s a wild bunny but Dad taught him all the tricks when it came to still shine.

      Another bachelor party....my brood....Clemson....Madison....Jimmy....George....Wallace...Joey.....Sunny.....Bartley....Scotty.....(deep breath).....Andrew....Vincent....Earl....Marty....Lenny.....Tommy.....Harland....Peedy......and....thank Frith last....Nicholas. We all ended up stupid, snoring and passed out well sloshed together in a fluffy pig pile in the barn...And....I’m not going to go into details about that silly night save I have the wooden paddle (Actually it’s a wooden pizza oven retriever) but it was a “paddle”....you invent the image for it. Everyone who had their turn with it....signed it. 

October 9th, 2041
Wedding Day

       I was all left fingers and flustered paws...couldn’t keep myself from fumbling over my uniform top.

      “Slap.” “Cut it out Door, Door.” Nori said as he slapped my paws away and worked on my dress tie.

      “I thought I’d handle this better.” I said to Nori.

      “I always have to be here to save you don’t I?” Nori said as he finished my tie and pulled out a small hair brush from his pocket. “Let’s make you as stunning as “Robert Redfawn”.” He said as he slowly burshed my head tuft. “You want it to come down between your eyes to a point or should I droop this off the side of your head?”

      I looked into a mirror...”Style it between my eyes.” I said.

      “There. You look great.” Nori said as he patted my shoulders. In walks Ori and he gives me this book he bought from the Mystic...

“Bun-sutra...the fields of joy.” I can only imagine what’s beyond the cover...right?

       “Tips for a successful family.” Ori snickers at me.

       “What chapter is the ropes and whips?” I giggled at him.

        “I think you should concentrate on not peeing on yourself.” Ori replied. “Do some tongue twister drills so you’re not going “Gnah gla gla!” on the “I do” part.”

        The wedding was going to be in the open field behind Mom and Dad’s house....just in case we needed to scatter. Rabbits need a lot of ground in a scatter. Also because the whole family showed up, weddings are very important to us rabbits.

       Everyone has an ear or both ears perked, don’t want to be caught unawares. As I walk out into the field from my parents cottage, I spy this extra large bunny amidst the crowd and I shake my head....I know it’s Nick Wilde, Judy’s husband...

      “You must be Uncle Cloak n Dag?” I asked as I walked up. “My but your ass has gotten fat there Uncle?”

      Nick laughed himself silly. “This was my son’s idea. Glad it’s not too hot today. Didn’t want to miss out on this. Congrats Dori.”

      I patted Nick on a paw...”Just don’t move ok? You still stink like a fox. Oh? You do realize that’s a female rabbit costume right?”

     “Well? That was a nice thing to say.” Nick replied as he feigned being insulted. “See if I leave you any of your wedding cake. I have a fondness for stealing “Carrot in Silk” you know.”

       Usually a rabbit wedding is more grand and complex a thing with a lot of traditions, superstitions and dances but we had to cut back obviously because of the ever present danger around us. Parson Steward 
stood in the center of a ring of rabbits with my parents to his right and Linzi’s to his left. Dad sat in feral form with Mom gently holding him save the harness and leash that had been skillfully placed so he would not be embarrassed. He was calm looking and quiet and I didn’t know if he understood what was going on around him but I think he knew...a gentle paw waving and the look of love on his face made me happy. He knew I was one of his. Mom was crying of course....what mother doesn’t cry at a wedding right?

       Another large rabbit made his appearance at my side...you guessed it, Toshiro dressed in a rabbit costume complete with “Bunny scent” packets to cover his own smell...

        “You look dashing.” I said snickering.

        “This thing is playing hell with my tail.” Toshiro replied. “Let’s do this quick before my tail decides to say “screw you” and pops out.”
 
        Then the singing starts and over a thousand rabbits sing the traditional song of joining, “little ones” chorus and older ones refrain. the circle of rabbits parts a path and through it comes Linzi and her father with her little sisters holding the long train of her wedding dress.

        At the end of the path, my brothers wanted to play their part, Owen and Powen are in their full dress uniforms with bayoneted rifles. They “pop” to attention, spin the rifles about, execute the Queen Ann Salute and drop to a knee with the rifles at their backs...the tips of their bayonets touching each other before Linzi’s face...

       My teeth were crunching....If they had slipped up I would have killed them! Back they went, popping to their feet stiff as trees, their rifles held out to attention and salute as Linzi and her father passed them by and came up to where I stood...

      She looked so beautiful...Toshiro’s bumping me in the side...”Back to Earth, hey Dori?”

      Parson’s smiling at me...”Shall we adjourn and leave you two alone?”

      Everyone laughs...I take a deep breath....”Nah...Rock and Roll Parson.” I said.

     Parson Steward is a big rabbit, I think all rabbit ministers are huge because they’re constantly doing weddings and funerals and they must be fed if they do the services so they’re big and portly and they all have deep booming voices like “James Squirrel Jones” in “Star Bores”

     “Luke.....I am Alfalfa.”

     “NEEEOOOOOH....That’s not possible! I saw you eating corn!”

     “Search your feed bag, you know it too be true!”

     I so wanted Parson to say....”I have you now!” or some corny line from that movie...

      “Friends and family...” He starts up. “We are gathered here today with great joy to make a union between these two wonderful children of Frith. If anyone now attending rejects to this marriage...please make yourself known now or hold your peace.”

      No one said anything. I was expecting some wise crack from somebody in the family, at least something dumb like “He looks a little young.” to “Run! Run now! She’s a succubus!”

      Parson continued...”Are there any remaining doubts between yourselves?” He asked me and Linzi.

      “None.” I said.

      “I don’t know.” Linzi replied. “I’ve heard a few things that has me wondering.”

      Toshio almost chirped but cut himself off for my Dad’s sake. “They’re all vicious lies and rumors.” He chirped with a raised paw finger. “I can personally vouch for his virginity.”

      Everyone laughed! I was doubled over in embarrassment I can tell you....

      Parson Steward waved a paw....”Since all doubts and arguments have now been settled...Will the bearer of the rings and the bind mammal come forward?”

      Jackson Wilde came up with our wedding rings on a blue pillow and Nori came up with the binding ribbon which would be wrapped around two of our paws as the binder spoke his words vowing us to each other. As I said before...had my father been himself, he would have done the binding. Nori stood before us holding the ribbon over his head as he gave his speech....

      “I hold in my paws the tradition of our fathers and mothers given long ago when Prince Rabbit first took his beloved and spread our kind forth about the world. This ribbon symbolizes the never to be broken bond between husband and wife, father and mother to family, kin and rabbit kind...”

      Nori slowly wrapped the ribbon around our joined paws....

      “With this ribbon...may this union be strong and unbreakable through all the years and all the struggles and challenges. Through the seasons of joy and the winters of sorrow. May it always remind husband and wife of their responsibilities one to the other, to the home you will share and all the children you will sire. May happiness, bounty and endless bliss bless both of you in all the years to come.”

     Nori finished his speech and held our paws as he kissed Linzi first...”Welcome to our family my beautiful Sister in Law.” He said. Then he nuzzled me...”Don’t you forget? You don’t make her happy? I’ll kick your stupid butt red.”

    “You’re going to have a very lazy foot...trust me.” I snickered at Nori.

     Parson waved Jackson over and gave the rings a blessing then took them in his paws....

     “With these rings...we complete this union. The son has left mother and father to be bound to his wife. Both shall now be one and may none be capable of breaking this joyous unity.”

      Parson gave me Linzi’s ring....”Dori Michael Hopps? Do you take this female to be your mate for life? Do you promise before Frith and Prince Rabbit to love her support her and honor her as long as you shall live?”

     “I will.” I said as I looked into those beautiful eyes.

     Parson asked the same of Linzi and she didn’t wait....she went right for the kissing!

     “Well?!” Parson said holding his arms out. “Everyone back up and let these two explode. Gentle rabbits and good friends...may I present Mister and Mrs. Dori and Linzi Hopps.”

      Everyone clapped and we both got mobbed! Some of the family grabbed big sheets, threw us onto them and launched us both in the air as they cheered and sang the song of joining again! There was time made for opening the mountains of wedding gifts...the last being a set of keys to our starter home in Bunny Burrough, a single story cottage not far from Mom and Dad’s house...

     Things quieted down to a small on going party in the back yard of my parent’s cottage with my new wife, my brothers, Mom, Judy and her husband Nick and some of my closer in age brothers and sisters. Mom had put Dad to bed, their real bed not the cage Dad was sleeping in at night...

      That’s when my brothers gave Linzi her special gift, that outfit they had planned as part of our first night nuptials together...

       “I made sure to add some of my own “specialties” Ori said as he sat with a toothy grin on his face. I could only cringe at the shock I might have from that weird little mind of his.

      Then Judy asked me to hold out my paw and down she drops the keys to her cottage in Aden...

       “What’s this sis?” I asked.

       “Your honeymoon suite.” Judy replied.
   
      “Oh no.....no......Judy I can’t, not in your house?” I begged.
      “There’s no other place close by and your new house isn’t ready yet.” Nick said as he pointed in my chest. “If you refuse and insult us there “bunny doc” I’ll be forced to eat you.”

       Linzi snuggled behind me...”Trust me....I tried saying no. Besides? It’s a perfect place for a too short of a time together.”

      Judy wrapped an arm around my shoulder. “Besides? You’ll be shipping out soon and you really don’t need to be spending money on the honey moon extras. Just promise me you won’t “cream” all over everything?”

       “SIS!” I yelped. “I can’t.....in your home?.....it’s so.....”

       Powen grabbed me by my shirt. “No more talking “Doc”, you’re wasting time.” Powen had me while Owen took Linzi by her paw. “Dad’s keys, Dad’s truck, GPS on your phone, move your furry fat ass.”

       Linzi giggled in the passenger’s seat of the truck...”It’s not a pumpkin, eight rats and two lizards but it’ll do.”

        All my brothers stood pointing their paws down the road...”Shut up and get busy Doc!”

       Owen pulled out a bunch of condoms from his pocket. “Here. Can’t be too careful.”

      “This coming from a rabbit that never uses them.” I snorted. “How long have these been in your pocket?”

      And off we went. Soon who cared right? Get busy indeed...we stopped I think four times on the way to the cottage just to snuggle and kiss...that’s what I hope you all think. I did the threshold tradition, carried Linzi through the front door and as expected Nick and Judy decorated the whole cottage, had a repeating selection of ambient love music playing all over it and had done up the master bathroom with rose pedals, candles, incenses, stuffed animals and bunny porn pictures.

      Did I mention I was trying “not” to get my wife pregnant before I left for deployment?

      A “Boom” in the distance made my ears shoot up. Then a frisky paw in a few places made something else shoot up...

     “Who gets more attention? The bombs or this bomb?” Linzi said as she removed her wedding head dress and slowly grabbed my ears. “Huh? Care to give me a complete examination my husband?” She said batting her eyes...

       “You have love disease and it’s terminal.” I replied. “I’m so sorry. You only have five minutes left to live.”

       “I can do a lot in five minutes.” Linzi said as she pulled me into a kiss.

       Now I could lie and say....”And for the rest of the night we lay together in the master bath and talked about the future. About the patter of little bunnies about the house. We spoke of our love for each other and made soft passionate love...” But obviously I’d be one lying “Son of a” and I’m not going to say that because of my Mom.

       The truth is....when your wife comes through the door of the master bedroom dressed in a very shocking and “edible for bunnies” outfit with a rose in her teeth....all thoughts of an award winning movie scene go up in flames.

       A little too late I found out...I married a devious little freak of a wife. but you always hope life together is more spice than sour candy right? And when you’re about to go off to war, you’d probably think you earned the privileges of unbounded love.

      After a while, thoughts of “protection” were “after” thoughts. We probably were going to leave Judy and Nick horrified at the amount of “Spot clean” they were going to need to decontaminate the cottage. Nothing was off limits to a couple of newly wed bunnies “freaking” every five steps but it finally ended in front of the big fireplace on a blow up mattress were Judy and Nick found us completely “spent shell casing” style nude as all get out. They covered us in blankets and left us there sleeping all on the third day.

      We finally left their cottage on the 13th and arrived at our new home which by now my brothers had finished putting in the furniture and got Linzi all settled. They couldn’t stop patting her stomach and commenting that I was quite a fast worker. I’ll just say that I kept my word...through all that fun I managed not to get Linzi pregnant. You know the traditional drill....you don’t want to leave but you have too, there’s a ton of negotiation, a few tears, time alone, The bed, the floor, the coffee table, more negotiation, any other spots we missed? You have to go, more kisses then finally a last look and the parting really sucks.

      We spent one last time over at our parent’s place. Dad’s not in a lucid state but he knows us. A last romp through the field, a last snuggle, hugs and kisses. Time with Mom....she’s crying, we’re crying, we don’t want to leave but we’ve got to leave. More “Booms” in the distance if the emphasis wasn’t added enough.

    You know at the same time all over the tri-burroughs many bunny families were going through the same agony...the cost was going to be high among our species but there’s a point where rabbits can’t run any more, you have to turn, bear your teeth though they’re not designed to shred flesh and whip out those claws. At least you won’t be called a coward who went to the cooking spit meekly. Many of my kind certainly would not over the coming months and perhaps years to come.

      One last “pep” between us for our parents to hear, myself, Owen, Powen, Ori and Nori in the back yard paws over paws confidently saying how we’re the toughest brood of bastards sired by the best Mother and Father in all Bunny burrough. We were going to get home together, we were going to kick the snit out of the enemy together. As a brood we were unbeatable, tougher than steel and a mighty bunch of pissed off war bunnies!

      Then we each snuggled and kissed our Mom one more time and off to war we went.

end of chapter 12