TF@ 15.Ai Script: From average to fucked. Scout: * Watching hentai* ( Footsteps of the Demoman can be heard from the halls of 2fort ) Scout: * sharply inhales* here we go again... Demo: Scout are you watching hentai again? Scout: no demo man- actually you know what I am watching hentai, Demo: Scout what the hell is wrong with you? Scout: There is nothing wrong with me * cocks gun in private* Scout: Break down the door like you usually do, because every damn month I have to replace the door. Because you spaz out every time! Demo: And I’m gonna continue to break down the door and beat your ass like a bongo if you don’t stop watching hentai you degenerate Scout: No I dare you to come in this time, * waiting with malicious intent* Demo: AND I WILL!! * breaks down door* Scout: * shooting at demo the second he comes in* Demo: OH shit! * running down the hall* Scout: Get your ass over here demo, I’m getting sick of your shit! * chasing demo while firing* Heavy: * watches them pass by* you know normally I would get involved butttttttttttt, * slams door* Medic; Now where were we my big strong bear. ____________________________________________________________________________ * Noises of gunshots and punching can be heard across the base* Sniper: What is that noise? Engineer: Either demo is killing and or beating scout, I am not sure if it is vice versa but I'm pretty sure I want nothing to do with that one. Sniper: Honestly it wasn't a matter of how so much it was a matter of time. If I had some popcorn I would watch that shit show. Engineer: You and me both. * sits back and relaxes in his room playing with a protogen* Sniper: So how is that little protogen working? Engineer: Well you see- Demo: Scout is trying to kill me * bullet wises by the head while running* Sniper: What did you do? Demo: Nothing other Ithan trying to help that degenerate from his hentai addiction! * more bullets wising by his head* Demo: Is this twink even aiming- * bullet hits his shoulder* Oh there it is Damn it!! * running away* Scout: I will shove this gun, twist, and or fire it up to your ass so hard full of holes, that you will look like a swiss altar boy after spending time with father. * chasing* Demo: That is racist you little twig go back to watching furry stuff! Scout: Shut up and or get some holes in you * still firing* ____________________________________________________________________________ Protogen: Beep Beep Boop? Engineer: Bimonthly at best. Sniper: yea just ignore it, it will resolve itself and - * Hears Demoman death scream* Sniper: correction just resolved itself. Protogen: Boop Boop Beep. Engineer: So any of you wanna help me close the portal to this furry world. Sniper: I got nothing better to do so let's do it. Wait, why haven't we done it before? Engineer: We got a protogen out of this mix, so I can't be too concerned or caring about this hole in the fabric of our reality, not our first shenanigans and it will not be the last. Sniper: Fair enough, this is a cute little protogen. But we still need to do something about this. Engineer: Ok sure, got any sniper ideas? Sniper: You are the genius here buddy you tell me. Engineer: I'm an engineer not a quantum physics expert. I solve problems that are within my reach, not whatever this is. Sniper: Damn it, Maybe the medic might know something about this? Engineer: Maybe, but I doubt it. Sniper: what about soldier speaking of where Is that crazed patriotic son of a- * explosion noise followed by screaming of insanity* Sniper: sounds about right mate * goes out of room to see soldier dab smacked on the wall* Soldier: my all-American body! This pain will not stop me, I am a proud American. I do not have permission to die!… someone help me! I'm stuck! Sniper: want me to get the olive oil again Soldier: get that Italian shit out of here, sniper get me all American hamburger grease! Sniper: fine * walking * last time I do this wanker, tired of pulling your butt out of the wall. ———————————————————————————————————————-/—/- * meanwhile in spy’s area * Spy: * reading book* Pyro: * watching the news in the room* News: and in conclusion that is how the sawmill burned down, started by an accelerating factor that rapidly spread across the entire mill. Evidence has been found strangely enough no matching print was found to any human. A strange day indeed Pyro: I didn’t do it if that was what your thinking Spy: you were inside my room mumbling and being weird of course you didn’t, unless you have teleportation powers I don’t know about? Pyro: maybe- Spy: what was that? Pyro: nothing Spy: you drink? Pyro: No Spy: you are a grown…. A creature, yea a thing or something inhuman, so why not a glass of wine Pyro: fine just one. You seem more friendly than normal, normally you're shouting to leave. Spy: demo got his rear-end shot so that is a win in my book. Otherwise, it’s just another day of his kink-shaming. Pyro: huh so that was what that noise was. Spy: indeed. Pyro: you know he will respawn right Spy; a small victory. Scout: And I shot his ass! * walking past* Spy: Indeed, my failure of a son did something right this time. Scout: You have Diarrhea of the mouth, constipation of the ideas, and your mouth still running, and yet nothing intelligent has come out of it other than an insult. Spy: Oh god it learned how to talk, and it won’t stop, just shut up already and let me drink my wine. Scout: Yeah just don’t forget to spill it all over your expensive suit you aristocrat wannabe. Anyways have you seen soldier he told me we were getting his * Sharply inhales* all American no communistic burgers? Spy: No i have not seen that Yankee son of an eagles bitch, if I had to guess he’s out of the wall trying to rocket jump again or do something else borderline retarded. Scout: That ship has already sailed, and I would guess probably fucking that all American love doll he has inside of his room. Spy: does Demoman know about that? Scout: He knows of everyone’s kink and I to try to reduce that, I’ve been putting marijuana inside of his scrumpy. Spy: will that kill him? Scout: It hasn’t so far? Spy; Nice move. Scout; You still doing those furry drawings? Spy: Yes but I hide them from soldier and or demo. Because I am not getting my shit split with his Scottish dildo sword again! Scout: You know this is one of the only times I can shoot the shit and not worry about getting into some stupid plot about kink-shaming or something completely wacky. Spy: Except for that portal in the engineer’s room? Scout: Eh don’t worry about it, I’m sure cowboy will come up with something? ____________________________________________________________________________ Day 2: Something strange is happening, well more than normal * Morning inside engineers room Protogen: Boop Beep Beep Boop Engineer: Yes protogen we can find a way, I just don’t know how to close this god-forsaken thing. Scout: hey Texan have you found any solution yet for the portal? Engineer: No scout I didn’t find anything yet, this problem is just too weird for me. Engineer: by the way do you still like furry porn, I noticed you have been more serious than your normal behavior. Scout: Ever since that Cinderace was found in two fort, it has been going on its own doing its own thing. Not sure where, but I realized I need to make a change and dial it back a bit. Engineer: well that is good to hear partner, but don’t you think shooting Demoman was a bit irrational? Scout: he will come back right? Engineer: yea give it a minute Demoman: * Respawns* And I will take give you an epic prison-style- Wait this isn’t- Nevermind Scout you small dick little shit, I will shove my bottle up your ass you fucking degenerate. Engineer: Demo Shut the hell up we got bigger fish to fry, and that fish is that portal over there. Demoman: Arent you just gonna ignore it like the last time Engineer: i was going to but some questionable things started to come out of it lately Protogen: Beep Engineer: not you buddy I’m talking about some, busty ass pokegirls, and other furry nonsense started to leak out slowly. Demoman: Oh it just keeps getting better and better, Scout did you have anything to do with this. Scout: Oh yea because I have the intelligence to open a portal, of course not Demoman. Demoman: I bet you are just loving this aren’t you scout?! Scout: Not any more ever since that Cinderace incident, I been going on a straight path, And dialing it back alot. Don’t believe me Demoman check my computer and check my room I’m sure you won’t find much of anything in there other than a few books. Demoman: Ughh...fine I will give you the benefit of the doubt just because I don’t want to get shot again. Scout: Deal other than that you are good with slaying this stuff right. Demoman: What kind of dumbass do you take me for scout, of fucking course!! Scout: Then please help solve this mess. Demoman: Fine scout I will help, but you really will have to show me you changed. Scout: We already established a deal now go see what the hell is roaming around these areas, I will back you up. * Hours later Demoman: I haven’t been able to find anything roaming around in the base at the moment, they must be long gone. Scout: * goes to his room* hold on a minute, go on check my room Demoman: * checking around Scout’s room* Ok sorry mate I misjudged ya mate, I am only finding minor things nothing truly degenerate. Scout: now can you please stop kink-shaming Demoman: as long as degeneracy and furry shit is floating around here, there will be hell to pay. But I guess you are off the hook regarding the multiple fetishes, barring that you shot me. Scout: You whooped my ass multiple times a month I think it is only fair I get a bullseye or two off you. Demoman: That is besides- you know what I’m willing to let bygones be gone. Scout: Ok fine just as long as you don’t pester me over minor stuff. Demoman: No promises but ok. Now if you don’t mind I have to go get medic to cure spy of his kinks Scout: yea you go do that demo ____________________________________________________________________________ Day 3 Scout: Hey engie have you found- * opens the door and sees a whole room full of protogens and furry shit* Scout: Nevermind * closes door* Demoman: * comes along* What is it, scout? Scout: * opens the door and shows him* Demoman: * opens and closes the door three more times* Damn it it’s still there! Demoman: Engineer what the hell- Engineer: OWO!!! Demoman: * slams door shut* I am not drunk enough for this shit. We are gonna need some serious help with this one Scout: Oh oh I should call miss Pauling about this and see what she has to say about this Scout: * calls* Pauling: What’s up scout? Scout: Ok Pauling there is this portal that is letting in furry shit and its starting to get out of control, the engineer is a damn furry now going OWO Engineer: OWO! Beep beep boop Scout: Any Suggestions. Pauling: As much as I would help I got my problems, and they are currently around the dustbowl, if I were you I would ask the blue team for help. Scout: Why isn’t the military doing anything about this Pauling: they are, they have quarantined alot of the united states and blocked off specific areas, the problem is we are trapped in. Blue engineer and or blue medic might be a possible help. Scout: Including two fort? Demoman: I can't believe what I am hearing, They are worse than our team by a whole fuck load. I caught their sniper sucking off an imported kangaroo in his room, honestly, I just got the fuck out of there given I was still trying to process the whole situation. Then I ran into the scout fucking an inkling and holy crap I puked my guts up. And don’t get me started on that cinderace incident within the base. Scout: don’t remind me I was traumatized from that, I want nothing to do with furry stuff anymore. Demoman: You have changed haven’t you? Scout: I said I dialed it back, But I know my limit now, I feel disgusted by kinks most except for anime, relax I’m not simping over some anime titties. Demoman: Ok let’s just get this over with and scout doesn’t stop me if I go demo knight. Scout: I won’t. Soldier: Can I come along Demoman: Sure buddy lets go fuck up some blues Scout; we need their help as much as it pains me Soldier: SCOUT WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU SAYING YOU, SPINELESS COWARD. I OUTTA PUT MY AMERICAN BOOT UP YOUR ASS YOU PANSY LITTLE FUCK TWINK BASTARD. * A trip to the blue base Soldier: fuck fuck fuck this fuck you fuck fuck hate this fucking bullshit fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck mother fucking duck fucking son of a fuck thunder fuck fuck Scout: seventeen fucks in a row won’t change anything or prevent anything. Demoman: Soldier calm down, I don’t like this any more than you do but-. . . . oh what in the fuck * There is semen everywhere Scout: Should we go in there? Demoman: there is no amount of drunk in the world that will get me to go in there. Scout: We need to get help Demoman: just not from there ???: TWEET TWEET TWEET Scout: What was that?... Demoman: I don’t know and I am not sticking around to find out without my weapon. Scout: You don’t carry something small on you? * pulls out a pistol from pocket* Demoman: Do I look like a person that carries something on me other than a scrumpy bottle, its been pretty quiet lately despite the incidents. Soldier: A real American never walks without his rocket launcher and all American shotgun Scout: well at least one of us is armed. Demoman: That better not be a freak in there... Scout: Positive that is a freak in there. * Something emerging from the depths of the base Bird Heavy: Tweet Tweet Tweet Scout: Oh just blue heavy with a bird head, That isn’t so bad. Bird heavy: Heavy will now lay an egg in your mouth. Scout: I change my mind this is bad. Soldier: Oh sweet mother of god it is hideous * shoots bird heavy with shotgun* you will never reproduce again, get me pyros flame thrower so I can kill it with fire. Demoman: Soldier it is already dead. It has a giant hole in its face. Solider: So I burn this Lovecraftian horror from this plane of existence. Demoman: Later let’s make like sheep when he hears pants unzip and get the hell out of here i ain’t getting fucked by these degenerates!. Scout: agreed Soldier: * bails* ____________________________________________________________________________ Back at Red Base Scout: * knocking on heavys door* Heavy: what is it, baby man Scout; heavy there is so much going on, the blue base is covered in semen- Heavy: ok let me stop you right there, you lost me at covered in semen. Scout: Engineer’s room is full of protogens and furry stuff, the portal is pumping out more and more! Heavy: Again I’m still lost at the semen part. Scout: Ok ok let me give you an idea chucklenuts, imagine a blue heavy with a bird head threatening to lay an egg in your mouth- Heavy: Ah say no more baby man, believe me this isnt anything new, every halloween- and it is not halloween... shit Heavy: Ok i will be over with the minigun ???: OwO Heavy: what was that? Scout: oh no we need to get out of two fort. Heavy: Agreed Honey buns! Medic: Yes? Heavy: we need to get out of here fast, They are spreading. Scout: without question but to where though, we been locked in. Pyro: *Screaming* Pyro: * runs to their position* Pyro: Spy turned into a anthromorphic creature Scout: Is he the only one! Pyro: NO!! We need to go there are too many. Scout: Torch them pyro you are good at burning shit Pyro: I did but as i stated there are too damn many of them moving around. Scout: Shit... Pyro: lets just go Scout: * Calls miss pauling but no response * Scout: SHIT!!! SHIT Where do we go, im too pretty to become a anthro, i can't die like this! Pyro: * goes to engies room* Engineer: Beep beep boop: * being cute with other protogens* Pyro: well here goes nothing * goes into portal* Scout: FUCK FUCK * running into portal* Soldier and demoman: * same* Medic: Here goes nothing!* goes into portal as two fort is being overrun by Furries. ____________________________________________________________________________ End of script.