Port Report

Each quarter, ships came to the docks /
In search of their fav'rite red fox /
To those randy whalers /
I shouted "Hey sailors!" /
And raised my tail like a snuff box /

Their bodies, you see, were in peril /
On the ship they were borderline feral /
Out at sea, outta luck /
No someone to fuck /
But whomever they stuck in the barrel /

They paid me to paw at their planks /
'Til they started shooting off blanks /
Then riding rough waves /
They plundered my caves /
Dividing my booty by ranks /

And somehow still stuck at full mast /
They bellowed at me to hold fast /
So bilged by their anchors /
I drank from their tankers /
While they barked out "Me hearties, avast!"

After letting them go hard to town /
For the cost of a couple o' crown /
They brought 'round the cable /
And best they were able /
They helped out and blew this fox down!

-Charles Michael Averin