We’re kicking it off with the filth first, folks. 

A ballad is a poem that follows ballad meter, which requires each section to be a quatrain (four verses grouped together) that has the rhyme scheme of abab. Additionally, the first and third verse of each quatrain need to consist of four iambs, while the second and fourth verses need three iambs. An iamb is an unstressed syllable followed by a stress syllable, if you remember.

Ballads were often written with the intention of being sung. Fun fact: you can sing any ballad to the tune of the Gilligan’s Island theme song, or, alternatively, Amazing Grace. Give it a shot.


Ballad of the Bunny
With thighs as thick as redwood trunks,
This bunny aimed to please;
He found himself a herd of hunks
And dropped down to his knees.

A longer muzzle’s best, they say,
But short ain’t that half bad;
He licked and lapped and stroked away,
‘Til they were hoppin’ mad.

Three fingers deep, now slick and tight,
A buck against his ring;
He braced himself with all his might, 
and rode him like a king.

Not being one to give up quick,
His mouth worked on and on;
Throating the swollen doggy dick,
That husky’s cares were gone.

Buck pounding hard and dog balls-deep,  
That bunny used his paws;
Taking care of the horse and sheep,
Hearing their oohs and aahs. 

Like all good things, it had to end,
That bunny painted white;
But they said “drop by next weekend,”
Jack grinned and said “alright.” 


To compensate for the prior filth, have some wholesome tankas. Tankas are five-lined poems: the first and third verse have five syllables, while the second, fourth, and fifth have seven.


Embrace
With your hand on mine /
Locked together in embrace /
I feel it, inside /
Before, fear and shame held me /
Now, tenderness and love do.

Remnants
Every kiss of yours /
The sound of your gentle laugh /
Your smiles and words /
They remind me of my home /
A place that has long since passed.

Concern
A heart that does not stop /
It thrums me awake come night /
Come day, it calls me /
When you are near, I feel it /
When far, I listen for it.


-Charles Michael Averin