Ditty of the Dirty
"Upstanding foxes spurn foul mutts,"
My mother oft does say;
"They are not tarts or whores or sluts—
And certainly not gay."

Well fuck you, Mom, and fuck you, Dad,
I'm sick of all your priss;
It's time to live and be real bad,
And lose myself in bliss.

So while you're out at "mass" tonight,
I'm putting out the call;
And by the end I won't be tight:
This bod's a free-for-all!

The kennel doors thrown open wide,
My tail raised for each hound;
I'm slick and ready to be tied,
And taken to the pound.

So after having served the queue,
You'll ask me "What's that scent?"
I'll say "For knots we're sluts, it's true,"
And tell you I got bent.

-Charles Michael Averin