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everyone so interested in cooking up disasters, anyway?","description_bbcode_parsed":"<span style='word-wrap: break-word;'>Why&#039;s everyone so interested in cooking up disasters, anyway?</span>","writing":"﻿[i]The World's Worst Lasagna[/i]\nMy mother cooks a great lasagna for those young and growing boys.\nAnd, like that candy witching hut you find in fucked-up fairy tales, \nyou get to see yourself inside an oven (like your ancestors—\nalthough the coma is the context clue, they're white, and y'all forgot)\nand hope that twenty-eight weeks later you emerge unscathed by flame,\nsautéed with love and caramel and sweets and other bitter things.\n\nYes, eating is compulsory—and clean your plate, my dear, my deer. \nThe alternating layers of oppressive self-indulgence near\nsome wicked ego pity make the dish a loathsome soup of meat\nwhen underneath is fur and bone and all the things you'd rather not\nimbibe—and yet, you must despise yourself to win and say your work\nis all complete and utter slop, else where will all the fishing go?\n\nThey say that every mother's recipe should start with love—they're right.\nThe cooking is the art, but everyone's a critic 'cause they ate\nlasagna once when they were young, so back into the stove you go:\n[i]\"You need a bit more time to cook,\"[/i] she says, [i]\"the worms ate Poe post-death—[/i]\n[i]a year or two to get more black around the margin's edge, more good,[/i]\n[i]more old, as, if you're perfect now, there's nowhere left to go, my deer.\"[/i]\n","writing_bbcode_parsed":"<span style='word-wrap: break-word;'>﻿<em>The World&#039;s Worst Lasagna</em><br />My mother cooks a great lasagna for those young and growing boys.<br />And, like that candy witching hut you find in fucked-up fairy tales, <br />you get to see yourself inside an oven (like your ancestors&mdash;<br />although the coma is the context clue, they&#039;re white, and y&#039;all forgot)<br />and hope that twenty-eight weeks later you emerge unscathed by flame,<br />saut&eacute;ed with love and caramel and sweets and other bitter things.<br /><br />Yes, eating is compulsory&mdash;and clean your plate, my dear, my deer. <br />The alternating layers of oppressive self-indulgence near<br />some wicked ego pity make the dish a loathsome soup of meat<br />when underneath is fur and bone and all the things you&#039;d rather not<br />imbibe&mdash;and yet, you must despise yourself to win and say your work<br />is all complete and utter slop, else where will all the fishing go?<br /><br />They say that every mother&#039;s recipe should start with love&mdash;they&#039;re right.<br />The cooking is the art, but everyone&#039;s a critic &#039;cause they ate<br />lasagna once when they were young, so back into the stove you go:<br /><em>&quot;You need a bit more time to cook,&quot;</em> she says, <em>&quot;the worms ate Poe post-death&mdash;</em><br /><em>a year or two to get more black around the margin&#039;s edge, more good,</em><br /><em>more old, as, if you&#039;re perfect now, there&#039;s nowhere left to go, my deer.&quot;</em><br /></span>","pools_count":1,"title":"The World's Worst Lasagna","deleted":"f","public":"t","mimetype":"text/plain","pagecount":"1","rating_id":"0","rating_name":"General","ratings":[],"submission_type_id":"12","type_name":"Writing - Document","guest_block":"f","friends_only":"f","comments_count":"0","views":"6","sales_description":null,"forsale":"f","digitalsales":"f","printsales":"f","digital_price":""}