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are some real gems in the newspaper classifieds, an antiquated form well fit to the ancient beings that hail from beyond the stars.","description_bbcode_parsed":"<span style='word-wrap: break-word;'>There are some real gems in the newspaper classifieds, an antiquated form well fit to the ancient beings that hail from beyond the stars.</span>","writing":"[i]Classifieds[/i]\n\nONE (1) THING CLAD IN MEAT AND FUR\n    SEEKING OTHER\nMUST/SHOULD BE SIMILAR\nDO NOT BE DISCOURAGED, BUT PLEASE SEND PICTURE(S)\n\nEARS MUST BE LARGE LIKE DINNER PLATES\nMUST SHOW COMPATIBILITY ON PRELIMINARY DATES\nMUST USE NEUTRAL LANGUAGE, E.G. NO LOVES OR HATES\nMUST NOT COMPLAIN WHEN SOUL IS SEVERED FROM THE FATES\n\nVIRGINITY IS A MUST (BORN-AGAINS NEED NOT APPLY)\nFAILING THAT, HAILING FROM VIRGINIA WILL SATISFY\nPLEASE INCLUDE ESSAY ON THE BEST WAY TO DIE\nRUN IF YOU SEE STRANGE SHAPES IN THE SKY\n\nALL LIKES (NOT SOME) MUST BE AS FOLLOWS:\nLONG WALKS ON THE BEACH, DEAD EMPTY HOLLOWS\nPUPPIES, KITTENS (LIVING), DISEMBOWELED SWALLOWS\nAND THE WORTHLESS EXISTENCE IN WHICH HUMANITY WALLOWS\n\nCONTACT BY SLEEPING BENEATH COLD STARS ALONE\nAFTER SPILLING HOT BLOOD ON YOUR SHUNNED GREAT-UNCLE'S TOMBSTONE\nON A WELL-LIT NIGHT WHEN THE GIBBOUS MOON NEVER SHONE\nBESIDE A WEIRD EFFIGY MADE OF PORCELAIN BONE\n\n-C.M. Averin","writing_bbcode_parsed":"<span style='word-wrap: break-word;'><em>Classifieds</em><br /><br />ONE (1) THING CLAD IN MEAT AND FUR<br />&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;SEEKING OTHER<br />MUST/SHOULD BE SIMILAR<br />DO NOT BE DISCOURAGED, BUT PLEASE SEND PICTURE(S)<br /><br />EARS MUST BE LARGE LIKE DINNER PLATES<br />MUST SHOW COMPATIBILITY ON PRELIMINARY DATES<br />MUST USE NEUTRAL LANGUAGE, E.G. NO LOVES OR HATES<br />MUST NOT COMPLAIN WHEN SOUL IS SEVERED FROM THE FATES<br /><br />VIRGINITY IS A MUST (BORN-AGAINS NEED NOT APPLY)<br />FAILING THAT, HAILING FROM VIRGINIA WILL SATISFY<br />PLEASE INCLUDE ESSAY ON THE BEST WAY TO DIE<br />RUN IF YOU SEE STRANGE SHAPES IN THE SKY<br /><br />ALL LIKES (NOT SOME) MUST BE AS FOLLOWS:<br />LONG WALKS ON THE BEACH, DEAD EMPTY HOLLOWS<br />PUPPIES, KITTENS (LIVING), DISEMBOWELED SWALLOWS<br />AND THE WORTHLESS EXISTENCE IN WHICH HUMANITY WALLOWS<br /><br />CONTACT BY SLEEPING BENEATH COLD STARS ALONE<br />AFTER SPILLING HOT BLOOD ON YOUR SHUNNED GREAT-UNCLE&#039;S TOMBSTONE<br />ON A WELL-LIT NIGHT WHEN THE GIBBOUS MOON NEVER SHONE<br />BESIDE A WEIRD EFFIGY MADE OF PORCELAIN BONE<br /><br />-C.M. Averin</span>","pools_count":1,"title":"Classifieds","deleted":"f","public":"t","mimetype":"text/plain","pagecount":"1","rating_id":"0","rating_name":"General","ratings":[],"submission_type_id":"12","type_name":"Writing - Document","guest_block":"f","friends_only":"f","comments_count":"0","views":"7","sales_description":null,"forsale":"f","digitalsales":"f","printsales":"f","digital_price":""}